WEBVTT 00:00:03.758 --> 00:00:04.801 Come on! 00:00:04.843 --> 00:00:07.512 You said I could play. 00:00:14.060 --> 00:00:15.020 You have to go down there again. 00:00:15.061 --> 00:00:16.604 No. 00:00:16.646 --> 00:00:18.398 Come on, you're the only one that'll fit. 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:19.274 No. 00:00:19.315 --> 00:00:20.483 I always go get it 00:00:20.525 --> 00:00:22.235 and you never let me play. 00:00:22.277 --> 00:00:23.528 We'll let you play. 00:00:23.570 --> 00:00:25.030 We promise. 00:00:28.950 --> 00:00:31.202 Come on, throw it here. 00:00:31.244 --> 00:00:32.203 You promised. 00:00:32.245 --> 00:00:33.204 No way. 00:00:33.246 --> 00:00:34.831 You promised. 00:00:34.873 --> 00:00:36.875 The first 50 times he got it, it was funny. 00:00:36.916 --> 00:00:37.959 Then it was just sad. 00:00:38.043 --> 00:00:39.961 It's not fair! 00:00:39.961 --> 00:00:41.129 It's my turn! 00:00:41.129 --> 00:00:43.798 Now it's funny again. 00:01:17.540 --> 00:01:19.793 Dad, Francis has to go back to school tomorrow. 00:01:19.793 --> 00:01:21.795 Can't we at least watch what he wants? 00:01:21.795 --> 00:01:22.962 This is educational. 00:01:23.046 --> 00:01:25.799 It's a celebration of the human spirit. 00:01:25.882 --> 00:01:27.675 It shows we can always find 00:01:27.717 --> 00:01:28.802 a way to persevere 00:01:28.802 --> 00:01:30.512 no matter how many times we're defeated. 00:01:31.805 --> 00:01:33.598 No, don't put on the rocket skates. 00:01:33.640 --> 00:01:34.808 Hal, can I see you in the bedroom? 00:01:34.891 --> 00:01:36.476 Yeah, yeah, just a second, honey, the coyote... 00:01:36.518 --> 00:01:37.727 Hal. 00:01:41.898 --> 00:01:44.651 That is the stupidest thing you have ever said! 00:01:44.692 --> 00:01:45.860 Not even close! 00:01:45.902 --> 00:01:48.154 How long does it take to get me a soda, Dewey? 00:01:48.238 --> 00:01:49.739 Mom and Dad are fighting. 00:01:49.781 --> 00:01:51.074 Really? 00:01:51.116 --> 00:01:52.158 Well, don't worry, chief. 00:01:52.242 --> 00:01:53.493 Everything will be fine. 00:01:53.535 --> 00:01:54.744 Trust me. 00:01:54.786 --> 00:01:57.413 You know what will take your mind off it? 00:01:57.413 --> 00:01:59.541 Making me a sandwich. 00:01:59.582 --> 00:02:01.835 I'm sorry. It's just that this is upsetting. 00:02:01.876 --> 00:02:03.670 Well, it's upsetting for me, too. 00:02:03.711 --> 00:02:05.755 You cannot be pregnant. 00:02:05.839 --> 00:02:07.423 We're not ready for this. 00:02:07.423 --> 00:02:10.426 When have we ever been ready for this, Hal? 00:02:15.515 --> 00:02:17.433 Okay, go ahead. 00:02:17.517 --> 00:02:19.227 The blessed state of matrimony 00:02:19.269 --> 00:02:20.353 is a sacred place... 00:02:20.395 --> 00:02:22.105 Oh, God! 00:02:22.147 --> 00:02:24.023 Maybe we should get you to the hospital. 00:02:24.065 --> 00:02:27.735 No! I will not have our baby born out of wedlock! 00:02:27.777 --> 00:02:29.529 I don't understand why all of a sudden 00:02:29.571 --> 00:02:31.114 you're so hung up on this. 00:02:31.114 --> 00:02:32.448 Up until last week 00:02:32.532 --> 00:02:34.534 a marriage certificate was just a piece of paper. 00:02:35.952 --> 00:02:38.538 I changed my mind! 00:02:38.580 --> 00:02:42.667 And it made me the happiest man in the world. 00:02:42.834 --> 00:02:44.669 This place is beautiful. 00:02:44.711 --> 00:02:45.712 Oh, thanks. 00:02:45.753 --> 00:02:47.297 I can't take any credit for it. 00:02:47.338 --> 00:02:48.590 The decorator did everything. 00:02:48.631 --> 00:02:49.674 Let's see... 00:02:49.716 --> 00:02:50.925 Oh, look, just keep the change. 00:02:50.967 --> 00:02:52.051 One second. 00:02:52.093 --> 00:02:53.845 One second. 00:02:53.887 --> 00:02:55.513 I forgot something. 00:02:55.597 --> 00:02:56.723 I am so rattled. 00:02:56.764 --> 00:02:58.600 There... 00:02:58.641 --> 00:02:59.684 Have a cigar. It's Cuban. 00:02:59.726 --> 00:03:00.977 Thanks. You're welcome. 00:03:03.313 --> 00:03:04.898 Wow! 00:03:04.898 --> 00:03:05.773 Wow! 00:03:05.773 --> 00:03:07.609 Hey, Mommy. 00:03:09.235 --> 00:03:11.529 Hal, we have a baby. 00:03:11.613 --> 00:03:13.531 Yes, we do. 00:03:17.243 --> 00:03:18.578 The baby. 00:03:19.954 --> 00:03:21.623 little baby. 00:03:21.664 --> 00:03:22.624 He's beautiful. 00:03:22.665 --> 00:03:24.125 Oh, we're so lucky, aren't we, Hal? 00:03:24.167 --> 00:03:26.169 Huh? Yeah. Lucky. 00:03:26.211 --> 00:03:27.670 You think we're going to be good parents? 00:03:27.670 --> 00:03:29.005 You kidding? The best. 00:03:29.047 --> 00:03:30.965 Do you think it's going to change our relationship? 00:03:31.007 --> 00:03:32.550 Our what? 00:03:32.592 --> 00:03:33.927 No. No. 00:03:33.968 --> 00:03:35.136 'Cause we get along so well now, 00:03:35.178 --> 00:03:37.931 and everybody says a baby really changes things. 00:03:39.974 --> 00:03:41.351 Oh, I better feed him. 00:03:41.392 --> 00:03:42.685 Why? 00:03:42.685 --> 00:03:45.396 Frankly, I think he's getting kind of fat. 00:03:45.438 --> 00:03:47.774 Hal, the nurse said I should feed him every four hours. 00:03:47.857 --> 00:03:49.692 Yeah, well, did you get a look at the nurse? 00:03:50.693 --> 00:03:53.196 Hal, where is the baby? 00:03:53.238 --> 00:03:55.114 I don't know how to say this exactly, 00:03:55.156 --> 00:03:56.574 but I think the baby's... 00:03:57.992 --> 00:03:59.118 ...in the closet! 00:04:00.703 --> 00:04:01.663 Here he is. 00:04:01.704 --> 00:04:02.830 Perfectly safe. 00:04:02.872 --> 00:04:05.500 You put the baby in the closet? 00:04:05.500 --> 00:04:08.419 You left the milk out on the counter. 00:04:09.671 --> 00:04:11.923 Come here, Francis. 00:04:16.010 --> 00:04:18.554 I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. 00:04:18.554 --> 00:04:18.846 I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. 00:04:18.888 --> 00:04:21.849 Hey, Mom, is it okay if I have the...? 00:04:21.849 --> 00:04:23.101 Go away! 00:04:23.142 --> 00:04:24.644 All I'm saying is that you were the one 00:04:24.686 --> 00:04:26.604 who wore those jeans with that rip above the knee. 00:04:27.480 --> 00:04:28.856 What do you want from me?! 00:04:28.898 --> 00:04:30.066 I'm only human. 00:04:30.108 --> 00:04:32.986 Oh, please. The minute you cross that threshold 00:04:32.986 --> 00:04:35.697 into the bedroom, you become more beast than man. 00:04:35.738 --> 00:04:37.865 Fine, everything is my fault! 00:04:37.907 --> 00:04:41.035 Oh, great. Here come the waterworks. 00:04:42.537 --> 00:04:43.997 Stupid bug. 00:04:43.997 --> 00:04:45.999 What's wrong with Mom and Dad? 00:04:45.999 --> 00:04:47.000 Aw, just wait. 00:04:47.000 --> 00:04:49.002 In an hour they'll be all lovey-dovey. 00:04:49.043 --> 00:04:51.087 It's disgusting. 00:04:51.129 --> 00:04:53.298 Stupid bug. 00:04:56.134 --> 00:04:57.385 Ow! 00:04:57.427 --> 00:04:58.761 You stupid... 00:04:58.845 --> 00:05:01.472 Ow! Ow! 00:05:01.514 --> 00:05:03.349 Ow! Ow! 00:05:03.433 --> 00:05:05.852 God, Reese, give it a rest. 00:05:05.893 --> 00:05:08.021 Okay, Francis is down for his nap. 00:05:08.021 --> 00:05:09.605 I emptied the dishwasher, 00:05:09.647 --> 00:05:11.274 put another load in the laundry. 00:05:11.316 --> 00:05:13.568 Didn't have time to scrape the pudding 00:05:13.651 --> 00:05:15.028 out of your hair dryer. 00:05:15.028 --> 00:05:15.737 Maybe tomorrow. 00:05:20.533 --> 00:05:21.659 When will you be home? 00:05:21.701 --> 00:05:23.870 I don't know-- 5:00, 6:00... 9:00... 00:05:23.911 --> 00:05:25.204 Did you say 9:00? 00:05:25.246 --> 00:05:27.081 Honey, I canceled another appointment 00:05:27.165 --> 00:05:28.207 to come home for lunch. 00:05:28.207 --> 00:05:29.625 I have to get caught up. 00:05:29.667 --> 00:05:30.877 Hal, this is ridiculous. 00:05:30.918 --> 00:05:32.712 You're working 14-hour days. 00:05:32.754 --> 00:05:35.214 This baby's trying to beat me to death from the inside 00:05:35.256 --> 00:05:36.632 and Francis is out of control. 00:05:36.674 --> 00:05:39.093 Something has got to change. 00:05:39.135 --> 00:05:40.428 Okay, I'll talk to my boss. 00:05:40.470 --> 00:05:41.637 Yeah, you said that before. 00:05:41.679 --> 00:05:43.431 Well, yes, and then the Collins account 00:05:43.473 --> 00:05:44.432 was dumped into my lap. 00:05:44.474 --> 00:05:45.641 It wasn't a good time. 00:05:45.683 --> 00:05:46.684 Now is better. 00:05:46.726 --> 00:05:48.644 Okay? 00:05:48.686 --> 00:05:50.271 Love you. 00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:00.239 Marty, I have been the leader in sales 00:06:00.281 --> 00:06:02.492 for this company for five years running. 00:06:02.575 --> 00:06:04.118 No one has ever done that before. 00:06:04.160 --> 00:06:05.453 And all I'm asking 00:06:05.495 --> 00:06:07.663 is to cut back on my hours just a little tiny bit 00:06:07.705 --> 00:06:09.248 so I can help out at home. 00:06:09.290 --> 00:06:10.958 You have kids. You know how it is. 00:06:11.042 --> 00:06:12.752 Absolutely, Hal. 00:06:12.794 --> 00:06:15.797 Don't worry, we'll find a way to make this work. 00:06:19.217 --> 00:06:20.218 Hey, Hal. 00:06:20.259 --> 00:06:22.261 Hey, Phil. 00:06:29.936 --> 00:06:32.688 Hal... and Supplies. 00:06:33.815 --> 00:06:35.066 What? 00:06:35.108 --> 00:06:36.984 I trained that guy. 00:06:37.068 --> 00:06:39.445 I gave him half the names in his Rolodex. 00:06:39.445 --> 00:06:41.781 And you know what he said to me this morning? 00:06:41.823 --> 00:06:43.116 "We need more toner." 00:06:43.157 --> 00:06:45.368 And he didn't even need toner! 00:06:45.451 --> 00:06:46.702 Ow! 00:06:46.744 --> 00:06:48.371 Another contraction? 00:06:48.454 --> 00:06:50.706 No! He's kicking me in between contractions. 00:06:50.748 --> 00:06:52.458 What the hell is with this kid? 00:06:52.583 --> 00:06:53.584 having fun yet? 00:06:54.669 --> 00:06:56.963 Okay, let's take a look in the oven. 00:06:56.963 --> 00:06:58.089 Ow! 00:06:58.131 --> 00:06:59.549 God! 00:06:59.590 --> 00:07:00.716 How far along am I? 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:02.885 'Cause I swear to God, he's biting my kidney. 00:07:02.969 --> 00:07:05.763 Honey, the doctor... No! He is coming out now! 00:07:05.805 --> 00:07:06.973 I have had it with this! 00:07:07.014 --> 00:07:10.017 You are coming out right now, mister! 00:07:13.271 --> 00:07:14.814 Ah, ah, ah, what are you doing? 00:07:15.857 --> 00:07:17.316 It's not time to push. 00:07:17.358 --> 00:07:19.819 You're just going to prolong your labor. 00:07:19.861 --> 00:07:22.822 Oh, great. Make it a challenge. 00:07:22.864 --> 00:07:25.116 Lady, you're just going to tire yourself out, 00:07:25.158 --> 00:07:26.826 and when it comes time to really push, 00:07:26.868 --> 00:07:29.829 you're going to be exhausted. 00:07:29.871 --> 00:07:31.998 Look, all I'm saying is, she can try to force this all she wants. 00:07:32.039 --> 00:07:33.207 It's just not going to... 00:07:33.291 --> 00:07:35.835 Oh, my God! Nurse! 00:07:37.670 --> 00:07:39.005 Okay, honey, you're doing great, you're doing great. 00:07:39.046 --> 00:07:41.174 Just remember to breathe. 00:07:41.174 --> 00:07:43.050 Hal... God, do you think we're really ready 00:07:43.092 --> 00:07:44.177 for a second baby? 00:07:44.218 --> 00:07:46.137 We're going to have twice as many kids 00:07:46.179 --> 00:07:47.221 and half the money. 00:07:47.263 --> 00:07:49.056 What's it going to do to us? 00:07:49.098 --> 00:07:50.766 We-We'll, we'll find a way. 00:07:50.808 --> 00:07:53.352 You know, we love each other. 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:02.737 What took you so long? 00:08:02.778 --> 00:08:04.238 I couldn't very well go to the Lucky Aide 00:08:04.238 --> 00:08:05.406 where you work, now, could I? 00:08:05.490 --> 00:08:06.866 Oh, what, so you drove clear across town? 00:08:06.908 --> 00:08:08.409 Yes, you want to go over the route I took 00:08:08.493 --> 00:08:09.785 so you can criticize that, too? 00:08:09.869 --> 00:08:11.078 Damn. Who's in there? 00:08:11.078 --> 00:08:12.747 I'm busy. 00:08:12.788 --> 00:08:13.748 Backyard. 00:08:13.789 --> 00:08:15.666 Are you out of your mind? 00:08:15.708 --> 00:08:18.044 Let's go-- I'll let you choose the most direct route. 00:08:21.797 --> 00:08:23.758 Are Mom and Dad getting a divorce? 00:08:23.799 --> 00:08:25.927 What are you talking about? 00:08:25.968 --> 00:08:28.763 They're really mad at each other. 00:08:28.804 --> 00:08:29.972 Don't worry about it. 00:08:30.056 --> 00:08:31.599 Everything will be fine. 00:08:31.599 --> 00:08:32.767 How do you know? 00:08:32.808 --> 00:08:34.519 Look, it used to scare me, too 00:08:34.602 --> 00:08:36.687 but they just have a way of working things out. 00:08:36.729 --> 00:08:37.688 How? 00:08:37.730 --> 00:08:39.106 I don't know, they just do. 00:08:39.148 --> 00:08:40.858 But how? 00:08:40.900 --> 00:08:43.110 How do I say this so you'll understand? 00:08:43.152 --> 00:08:44.737 Shut up. 00:08:50.785 --> 00:08:52.203 Ha, ha! 00:08:52.245 --> 00:08:53.996 Does Reese want the bear? 00:08:54.038 --> 00:08:57.625 Reese wants the bear, Reese wants the bear. 00:08:57.667 --> 00:08:59.919 This place is so much smaller than the apartment. 00:08:59.961 --> 00:09:01.212 So you keep reminding me. 00:09:01.254 --> 00:09:02.630 What choice do we have, Lois? 00:09:02.672 --> 00:09:03.714 Yes, it is smaller. 00:09:03.756 --> 00:09:04.715 And cheaper. 00:09:04.757 --> 00:09:06.759 That apartment was no place to raise children. 00:09:06.801 --> 00:09:08.636 There was nothing there but museums 00:09:08.636 --> 00:09:12.223 and nightclubs and trendy restaurants... 00:09:12.265 --> 00:09:14.141 Well, at least we'll have 00:09:14.141 --> 00:09:15.643 a yard to putter around in, huh? 00:09:15.643 --> 00:09:17.645 I can't wait to get my hands on this lawn! 00:09:17.645 --> 00:09:18.813 Ow! 00:09:18.896 --> 00:09:21.148 Oh, okay, okay, boys, enough playing. 00:09:21.148 --> 00:09:22.900 It's time for Reese's lessons. 00:09:22.942 --> 00:09:25.653 What'll it be today, son, huh? 00:09:25.653 --> 00:09:27.154 Russian literature? 00:09:27.154 --> 00:09:29.615 Or should we brush up on the circulatory system, hmm? 00:09:31.117 --> 00:09:33.661 Circulatory system it is. 00:09:33.744 --> 00:09:35.538 Yeah, great. 00:09:35.580 --> 00:09:37.582 Just ignore the eight months pregnant woman 00:09:37.623 --> 00:09:39.458 carrying the boxes. 00:09:39.500 --> 00:09:42.003 Art! Mona Lisa was by da Vinci 00:09:42.003 --> 00:09:44.380 Science! The radio was built by Marconi 00:09:44.463 --> 00:09:45.548 Math! 00:09:45.590 --> 00:09:47.550 Nine is the product of three times three 00:09:47.592 --> 00:09:50.344 Natural History! Darwin said we all come from monkeys 00:09:50.386 --> 00:09:52.763 But not 00:09:52.805 --> 00:09:55.182 Literally. 00:09:55.224 --> 00:09:56.767 Hal, will you stop it! 00:09:56.809 --> 00:09:58.686 Lois, we have got to do this 00:09:58.686 --> 00:10:00.605 35 minutes, three times a day. 00:10:00.688 --> 00:10:02.982 All Reese does is sit there. 00:10:03.024 --> 00:10:04.609 He's a thinker, Lois. 00:10:04.692 --> 00:10:07.778 He's an intensely focused, peerless thinker. 00:10:07.820 --> 00:10:09.405 He's absorbing information. 00:10:09.447 --> 00:10:11.782 Studies show that developing young minds 00:10:11.824 --> 00:10:13.784 absorb information at a phenomenal rate. 00:10:13.826 --> 00:10:15.328 Hal, he's two years old. 00:10:15.369 --> 00:10:16.537 He calls you "phone." 00:10:16.579 --> 00:10:18.164 I don't know who you think this 00:10:18.205 --> 00:10:19.665 is helping, but it's not Reese. 00:10:22.376 --> 00:10:24.545 Oh, my God, he just hit my trigeminal nerve! 00:10:26.464 --> 00:10:28.633 We've been working on the nervous system all morning. 00:10:28.674 --> 00:10:31.552 Oh, Hal, will you come down to reality 00:10:31.594 --> 00:10:33.387 long enough to help me unpack? 00:10:33.429 --> 00:10:34.639 Lois, did it ever 00:10:34.680 --> 00:10:36.724 cross your mind that it might be nice 00:10:36.724 --> 00:10:38.726 to support what I am doing here? 00:10:38.726 --> 00:10:40.561 You know, that's a good question. 00:10:40.603 --> 00:10:41.812 What are you doing here? 00:10:41.854 --> 00:10:43.189 Because I'll tell you what you're not doing, 00:10:43.230 --> 00:10:44.231 and that's helping! 00:10:44.231 --> 00:10:45.733 You know, I think... 00:10:48.152 --> 00:10:49.612 ...that I should go for a drive 00:10:49.654 --> 00:10:51.781 before I say something I'll regret. 00:10:55.368 --> 00:10:58.037 Phone go bye-bye! 00:10:58.079 --> 00:11:00.998 Oh, honey... 00:11:02.625 --> 00:11:05.044 Hal! 00:11:05.044 --> 00:11:05.378 Okay, we're going on a little drive, 00:11:05.378 --> 00:11:06.295 Ha, ha! 00:11:06.295 --> 00:11:07.713 Unlock the door right now. 00:11:07.755 --> 00:11:09.298 You're a liar! 00:11:09.382 --> 00:11:10.424 You stay out! 00:11:10.466 --> 00:11:11.467 Francis, please. 00:11:11.509 --> 00:11:13.302 Mommy has to go to the hospital. 00:11:13.302 --> 00:11:14.595 Say you're sorry! 00:11:14.637 --> 00:11:15.888 Open the door! 00:11:15.930 --> 00:11:17.390 Say you're poopy! 00:11:17.431 --> 00:11:19.684 I will not say I'm poopy! 00:11:19.725 --> 00:11:21.310 Open that door! 00:11:21.394 --> 00:11:22.853 I'm having a baby! 00:11:22.895 --> 00:11:24.397 Congratulations! 00:11:37.535 --> 00:11:38.536 What's going on? 00:11:38.577 --> 00:11:40.621 Your wife just gave birth on your front lawn. 00:11:40.663 --> 00:11:42.623 Congratulations, I guess. 00:11:42.665 --> 00:11:44.083 Oh, my Lord! 00:11:51.382 --> 00:11:53.551 Want the rest of my Slurpee? 00:11:53.551 --> 00:11:55.886 Leave me alone, Hal. 00:11:57.054 --> 00:11:58.097 Need any help? 00:11:58.139 --> 00:11:59.890 Leave me alone, Hal. 00:11:59.890 --> 00:12:01.016 Take this. 00:12:01.058 --> 00:12:02.685 Couldn't spring for the one-minute test. 00:12:02.727 --> 00:12:03.978 This one takes five. 00:12:04.019 --> 00:12:06.564 Four more minutes we get to spend together, dear. 00:12:06.605 --> 00:12:08.315 Don't take that tone with me. 00:12:08.357 --> 00:12:10.192 I'm sorry, this is the only tone I have. 00:12:10.234 --> 00:12:12.737 It's my "I'm panicking about our future" tone. 00:12:12.778 --> 00:12:14.238 How can we afford this? 00:12:14.238 --> 00:12:16.031 Have you even thought about that? 00:12:16.073 --> 00:12:17.908 No, I've just been enjoying peeing in the yard so much, 00:12:17.950 --> 00:12:19.410 I haven't thought about anything! 00:12:19.410 --> 00:12:20.786 Another snappy comeback! 00:12:20.828 --> 00:12:22.288 That's very helpful! 00:12:22.329 --> 00:12:23.581 I'm not being helpful?! 00:12:23.622 --> 00:12:25.166 Let me give it to you straight, Hal! 00:12:25.249 --> 00:12:26.500 Why don't you take that stick 00:12:26.542 --> 00:12:27.710 and shove it up your... 00:12:33.632 --> 00:12:35.926 Reese, Reese, please just sit here 00:12:35.968 --> 00:12:37.803 for five minutes, please, I'm begging you. 00:12:37.845 --> 00:12:39.472 Play with this. 00:12:42.558 --> 00:12:44.977 Malcolm, would you please pick up your stuff? 00:12:45.019 --> 00:12:46.520 And what is a four-year-old 00:12:46.562 --> 00:12:48.522 playing with a microscope for, anyway? 00:12:48.564 --> 00:12:50.733 I see you still haven't moved the microwave. 00:12:50.775 --> 00:12:52.860 As I have pointed out to you several times, 00:12:52.902 --> 00:12:55.529 this is the only socket in the kitchen that works. 00:12:55.571 --> 00:12:56.530 Perhaps we could afford 00:12:56.572 --> 00:12:58.282 the extravagance of an extension cord! 00:12:58.324 --> 00:13:00.284 We have extension cords, 00:13:00.326 --> 00:13:01.744 but they're all being used right now 00:13:01.786 --> 00:13:03.537 to power the space heater in the bedroom 00:13:03.579 --> 00:13:04.872 because somebody gets chills. 00:13:04.914 --> 00:13:06.957 Well, perhaps you'd like to share your bed 00:13:06.957 --> 00:13:09.251 with someone who doesn't get chills. 00:13:14.924 --> 00:13:16.133 Hi, Lois. 00:13:16.175 --> 00:13:17.760 What did he do this time? 00:13:17.802 --> 00:13:19.470 He took a joyride in a street cleaner. 00:13:19.553 --> 00:13:21.597 Get in here. Francis. 00:13:21.639 --> 00:13:22.848 Here's the summons. 00:13:22.932 --> 00:13:24.558 Your juvenile court date's on the 12th, 00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:26.060 and, well, you know the drill. 00:13:26.101 --> 00:13:27.520 Thank you, Officer. 00:13:30.606 --> 00:13:31.565 They caught you 00:13:31.607 --> 00:13:32.775 on a street cleaner? 00:13:32.817 --> 00:13:34.401 What were you thinking? 00:13:34.485 --> 00:13:35.778 That it went faster. 00:13:35.820 --> 00:13:37.029 Go to your room. 00:13:37.071 --> 00:13:38.572 Are you happy now? 00:13:38.614 --> 00:13:41.075 Me? How is this my fault? 00:13:41.116 --> 00:13:42.618 You are always regaling him 00:13:42.660 --> 00:13:43.994 with tales of your wild youth. 00:13:44.036 --> 00:13:46.413 Those are cautionary tales. 00:13:46.497 --> 00:13:47.998 Cautionary tales do not end with 00:13:48.040 --> 00:13:50.000 "It was so cool." Mom, 00:13:50.042 --> 00:13:52.419 I think I broke my chemistry set. 00:13:52.503 --> 00:13:53.337 In a second, Malcolm. 00:13:53.337 --> 00:13:54.505 All right, do me a favor, Lois. 00:13:54.505 --> 00:13:57.216 Make me a list of pre-approved childhood memories 00:13:57.258 --> 00:13:59.301 so I know what I can and what I can't 00:13:59.343 --> 00:14:00.511 share with the boys. 00:14:02.638 --> 00:14:04.348 Oh, for God's sake, hold still. 00:14:05.474 --> 00:14:06.809 Hal, that's not going to work. 00:14:06.851 --> 00:14:08.686 Just drive him to the emergency room. 00:14:08.727 --> 00:14:10.688 We do not need to go to the emergency room. Ah. 00:14:10.729 --> 00:14:12.356 Mom! Hal, you're forcing it 00:14:12.439 --> 00:14:15.025 further in his mouth, and he's going to choke to death! 00:14:15.025 --> 00:14:16.360 For once will you stop 00:14:16.360 --> 00:14:18.529 telling me how wrong I am? 00:14:18.612 --> 00:14:20.698 And will you stop telling me what to do? 00:14:22.199 --> 00:14:23.701 What the... 00:14:23.742 --> 00:14:25.703 I tried to make invisible ink, 00:14:25.744 --> 00:14:27.830 but I think I made chlorine gas. 00:14:27.872 --> 00:14:29.206 Come on, everybody out! 00:14:29.206 --> 00:14:30.708 Out, out, out, out, now, come on, out! 00:14:30.749 --> 00:14:31.625 Go! 00:14:35.546 --> 00:14:37.882 Okay, we all here? 00:14:37.923 --> 00:14:39.842 Okay, good. We're fine. 00:14:39.884 --> 00:14:42.636 We'll just let the house air out, and... 00:14:44.847 --> 00:14:47.558 Rain, yay! Yay! 00:14:50.978 --> 00:14:53.814 Okay, let's hear it! 00:14:53.856 --> 00:14:57.151 This has got to be my fault somehow. 00:14:57.192 --> 00:14:58.569 So go ahead. 00:14:58.611 --> 00:14:59.653 Say it, come on! 00:14:59.695 --> 00:15:04.074 I'm the cause of all that is bad in the universe! 00:15:04.116 --> 00:15:07.703 Everything that I touch turns to crap! 00:15:07.745 --> 00:15:11.206 And now I bring you rain! 00:15:11.248 --> 00:15:13.709 Oh, you'll feel better 00:15:13.751 --> 00:15:15.753 once you get it out in the open, Lois! 00:15:15.794 --> 00:15:16.921 Come on! 00:15:16.962 --> 00:15:20.716 I'm having the baby. 00:15:24.803 --> 00:15:29.391 Oh, well, that's good 00:15:29.433 --> 00:15:33.604 because the car keys are inside the house. 00:15:33.687 --> 00:15:35.773 So, I can either suffocate 00:15:35.814 --> 00:15:37.399 by going back in there to get them 00:15:37.441 --> 00:15:39.443 or you can have another baby out here on the lawn! 00:15:39.443 --> 00:15:40.778 Try the azaleas! 00:15:40.819 --> 00:15:42.655 Maybe they'll finally bloom! 00:15:55.793 --> 00:15:58.921 We can't do this! 00:16:00.756 --> 00:16:03.300 We are not having a baby with us like this. 00:16:03.342 --> 00:16:06.637 We have to figure out a way to fix this. 00:16:06.679 --> 00:16:08.555 Well, I guess I can get a night job, and... 00:16:08.597 --> 00:16:11.809 No, we have to figure out a way to fix us. 00:16:11.850 --> 00:16:14.144 And I don't mean just now 00:16:14.144 --> 00:16:16.313 because we're always going to have hard times. 00:16:16.313 --> 00:16:18.482 We have to figure out a way to get through this 00:16:18.565 --> 00:16:19.817 without us killing each other. 00:16:19.858 --> 00:16:21.777 Well, I'm open to suggestions. 00:16:25.322 --> 00:16:27.825 Okay, here's what we're going to do. 00:16:27.866 --> 00:16:31.829 You're going to tell me three-- no, five-- no, seven! 00:16:31.870 --> 00:16:36.834 I want you to tell me seven things you love about me. 00:16:36.875 --> 00:16:40.337 Seven reasons why this is all worthwhile. 00:16:40.337 --> 00:16:42.840 Seven reasons why we're still here. 00:16:42.881 --> 00:16:45.676 Seven? 00:16:45.718 --> 00:16:47.845 Seven. And I have to believe every one of them 00:16:47.886 --> 00:16:49.763 and you have to say them all right now. 00:16:49.805 --> 00:16:50.764 Seven? 00:16:50.806 --> 00:16:52.266 Oh, just please. 00:16:52.307 --> 00:16:53.559 Just do it. Okay, okay, okay. 00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:54.643 Okay, okay, okay, uh... 00:16:54.935 --> 00:16:58.439 And-And-And I love how you're honest and-and fearless 00:16:58.480 --> 00:17:02.276 and, and how when I'm sick you treat me like a baby. 00:17:03.485 --> 00:17:05.821 Okay, that last one counts for two. 00:17:05.863 --> 00:17:07.364 You got three more to go. 00:17:07.448 --> 00:17:09.116 Okay. 00:17:11.243 --> 00:17:15.080 I can tell you that I just adore this. 00:17:16.165 --> 00:17:17.541 The way your forehead gets all crinkly 00:17:17.624 --> 00:17:19.334 when you're worried. 00:17:19.376 --> 00:17:22.671 And I love the way you cut your crust off your toast 00:17:22.671 --> 00:17:24.673 even though you end up eating both anyway. 00:17:24.673 --> 00:17:28.844 I love your loyalty and your kindness 00:17:28.886 --> 00:17:30.971 and that you still * in your gut 00:17:31.013 --> 00:17:32.473 whenever I walk into the room. 00:17:33.640 --> 00:17:35.100 I love how you didn't dump me 00:17:35.184 --> 00:17:36.769 when you found out that I was in love with you. 00:17:36.810 --> 00:17:39.271 I love that you still married me 00:17:39.313 --> 00:17:41.273 even after you met my parents. 00:17:44.193 --> 00:17:45.736 And I love that nothing in my life-- 00:17:45.778 --> 00:17:49.281 not cribbage with my dad, 00:17:49.323 --> 00:17:52.284 not a... a new Van Halen album-- 00:17:52.326 --> 00:17:54.870 not even an old Van Halen album, for that matter, 00:17:54.912 --> 00:17:56.288 or any of their solo albums... 00:17:56.330 --> 00:17:57.456 Hal, Hal. 00:17:57.498 --> 00:18:00.918 I love that nothing in my life is complete 00:18:00.959 --> 00:18:02.961 until I've shared it with you. 00:18:04.296 --> 00:18:05.631 That's my sandwich. 00:18:19.144 --> 00:18:21.897 You know, I wouldn't give up a single one of them. 00:18:21.939 --> 00:18:23.607 They're our boys. 00:18:23.649 --> 00:18:25.484 No one else can say that. 00:18:25.526 --> 00:18:28.695 They're our boys. 00:18:28.737 --> 00:18:30.155 Negative. 00:18:30.155 --> 00:18:32.366 All that worry for nothing. 00:18:33.450 --> 00:18:35.035 A girl would have been nice, though. 00:18:35.077 --> 00:18:36.328 Are you kidding? 00:18:36.328 --> 00:18:38.163 We've got you outnumbered five to one now 00:18:38.163 --> 00:18:39.915 and we're still losing.