WEBVTT 00:00:06.428 --> 00:00:06.469 So what's life like in the apocalypse? 00:00:24.821 --> 00:00:24.863 So what's life like in the apocalypse? 00:00:24.864 --> 00:00:26.823 So what's life like in the apocalypse? 00:00:29.159 --> 00:00:30.827 It's never what you'd expect. 00:00:35.540 --> 00:00:36.583 What are you doing? 00:00:37.333 --> 00:00:39.085 Stop looking at me and turn around. 00:00:43.840 --> 00:00:47.260 Is this the thing where you won't reveal Baron Triumph to make people watch? 00:00:47.343 --> 00:00:49.554 You know they call that schmuck bait, right? 00:00:49.679 --> 00:00:52.015 Like at the end of a season when they kill a main character, 00:00:52.057 --> 00:00:54.517 but it's actually another dude's guts getting eaten by zombies, 00:00:54.601 --> 00:00:56.269 and the guy that you love is fine. 00:00:56.853 --> 00:00:58.104 People hate that. 00:01:02.609 --> 00:01:04.360 No way, I'm not going in the mall. 00:01:04.444 --> 00:01:06.696 The most embarrassing story of my life happened in there, 00:01:06.738 --> 00:01:08.531 and I never wanna live it again. 00:01:08.615 --> 00:01:10.492 It'd be like stabbing myself in the heart, 00:01:10.575 --> 00:01:14.454 pulling it out, eating it, pooping it, and then putting it back into my chest. 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:22.670 Okay, fine. Shit, let's just go. 00:01:25.882 --> 00:01:27.717 There weren't chains in my flashback. 00:01:33.723 --> 00:01:35.225 So I'm here to hang with Sam, 00:01:35.308 --> 00:01:37.936 even though I kind of told her I hate the mall. 00:01:38.061 --> 00:01:40.647 No one really like malls today. They're dying. 00:01:40.730 --> 00:01:42.649 Online shopping is popping a cap in the * 00:01:42.732 --> 00:01:44.317 of these monuments of capitalism, 00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:46.152 but it wasn't always that way. 00:01:46.236 --> 00:01:50.115 The first mall in America was built in Edina, Minnesota, in 1956. 00:01:50.240 --> 00:01:52.909 It had ample parking, always 70 degrees, 00:01:52.951 --> 00:01:55.078 and skylights made every day sunny. 00:01:55.120 --> 00:01:57.247 I mean, you could be handsome or beautiful... 00:01:57.789 --> 00:01:59.457 or you could eat anything you want. 00:01:59.582 --> 00:02:01.167 Wanna try our dill pickle gelato? 00:02:02.085 --> 00:02:04.712 Yes. Yes, I would. Thank you. 00:02:04.796 --> 00:02:05.797 Mm-hmm. 00:02:10.468 --> 00:02:11.553 Oh, my God. 00:02:13.179 --> 00:02:14.597 Ugh! 00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:17.016 Truth is, malls are important. 00:02:17.100 --> 00:02:20.270 The first mall was built in sixth-century Athens, and it changed us forever. 00:02:20.353 --> 00:02:21.855 The hunters fighting for survival 00:02:21.938 --> 00:02:25.024 became shoppers hunting for a good Labor Day mattress sale. 00:02:25.108 --> 00:02:26.734 - Oh... - Oooh. 00:02:27.777 --> 00:02:30.864 Looks like Wheeler launched a preemptive strike in his pants. 00:02:30.947 --> 00:02:33.283 - Damn! - Premie creamy. 00:02:33.366 --> 00:02:36.035 Hoyles, you're the worst. 00:02:38.663 --> 00:02:39.789 What're you gonna do? 00:02:47.630 --> 00:02:50.383 Here's another reason I HATE THE MALL: pants. 00:02:50.967 --> 00:02:54.554 I have a long torso, and I can never find pants in my size. 00:02:55.555 --> 00:02:57.015 Nothing fits. 00:02:57.140 --> 00:02:58.183 Ugh. 00:02:58.308 --> 00:03:01.144 Point is, I, like my pants, 00:03:01.978 --> 00:03:05.231 didn't fit in. But now, today, 00:03:06.399 --> 00:03:07.901 I'm living the Armageddon dream. 00:03:09.986 --> 00:03:11.696 I HAVE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED: 00:03:11.821 --> 00:03:14.407 freedom, cars, big jar of Nutella. 00:03:16.075 --> 00:03:19.871 Only thing I'm missing is... Sam. 00:03:20.830 --> 00:03:23.666 And I'd never see her again if I threw down with Baron Triumph. 00:03:25.001 --> 00:03:28.004 But then, this happened. 00:03:33.009 --> 00:03:34.677 'Sup, turds. 00:03:35.178 --> 00:03:37.013 This is who we've been scared of? 00:03:37.555 --> 00:03:40.141 A light breeze could kick his *. 00:03:40.225 --> 00:03:42.310 I thought it was gonna be Hoyles. This is... 00:03:43.186 --> 00:03:44.854 Who is this again? 00:03:45.688 --> 00:03:46.856 It's Eli. 00:03:47.357 --> 00:03:50.902 You may not remember him, but you've all seen Eli before. 00:03:51.819 --> 00:03:54.697 Shoulder pads, lifts in his boots. 00:03:55.990 --> 00:03:57.742 It's not even a Triumph motorcycle. 00:04:00.662 --> 00:04:01.913 And training wheels? 00:04:02.830 --> 00:04:04.999 It's fine. 00:04:05.041 --> 00:04:06.626 It's fine! 00:04:06.709 --> 00:04:08.920 He's a knockoff Baron Triumph. 00:04:09.754 --> 00:04:11.047 Knockoff? 00:04:11.172 --> 00:04:15.176 Yo, I'm the OG gangsta of the SG Valley. 00:04:15.260 --> 00:04:19.055 King of bling, raja of the shopping center. 00:04:19.514 --> 00:04:21.683 Sure, fine, but who else is here with you? 00:04:21.724 --> 00:04:22.725 Where's Sam Dean? 00:04:23.226 --> 00:04:25.687 - Do I look like her publicist? - Sam's not here? 00:04:25.770 --> 00:04:28.439 Sorry, it's just me and my girlf, Mavis. 00:04:28.523 --> 00:04:31.567 You have the entire mall? You? 00:04:31.693 --> 00:04:33.486 I'm dominating. 00:04:33.569 --> 00:04:36.698 While you nooblets have been playing the apocalypse on easy mode, 00:04:36.739 --> 00:04:37.949 I'm the boss level. 00:04:38.032 --> 00:04:41.286 You used aluminum foil to write "Triumph" on your bike. 00:04:41.619 --> 00:04:42.745 Pshht! 00:04:42.870 --> 00:04:45.873 After the bomb exploded and everyone scampered like Smurfs, 00:04:45.957 --> 00:04:48.876 who came here and locked this shit tighter than a nun's vag? 00:04:49.252 --> 00:04:52.755 Eli. Who's living like the Sultan of Dubai? 00:04:52.880 --> 00:04:55.758 - Eli. - You mean the Sultan of Brunei. 00:04:56.259 --> 00:04:59.095 What? No. Where is Brunei, huh? 00:04:59.637 --> 00:05:03.266 Dubai, where sultans like me rule empires. 00:05:03.391 --> 00:05:06.477 You know, one lap a day dressed like this keeps all you looters away, 00:05:06.561 --> 00:05:08.563 so how you like me now, Wesley Fists? 00:05:08.980 --> 00:05:10.398 I like you just fine. 00:05:10.898 --> 00:05:13.735 - Why wouldn't I? - Oh, we are mortal enemies, 00:05:13.776 --> 00:05:17.613 like Moriarty and Holmes. Batman and the Joker. 00:05:17.739 --> 00:05:19.949 Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar. 00:05:20.408 --> 00:05:23.369 You are my nemesis, and I will have revengeance. 00:05:24.996 --> 00:05:27.540 Who are you again? 00:05:30.918 --> 00:05:33.253 Look what you * did! You brought the death demon here! 00:05:33.254 --> 00:05:36.632 Us? You're the one imitating him. It was probably your tricycle. 00:05:38.593 --> 00:05:41.387 - Faster, he's almost here. - Get your own mall, this one's mine. 00:05:41.429 --> 00:05:42.638 We're finna get eaten out here. 00:05:45.141 --> 00:05:46.267 Got it. 00:05:46.351 --> 00:05:47.477 Hey! 00:06:00.823 --> 00:06:03.910 There's power and air conditioning. 00:06:03.993 --> 00:06:06.329 Everything is so clean. 00:06:06.829 --> 00:06:09.290 It still smells like Cinnabon. 00:06:09.999 --> 00:06:12.001 Solar panels on the roof. 00:06:12.794 --> 00:06:16.756 This is an island of paradise in an ocean of poop. 00:06:18.466 --> 00:06:19.675 This way, quick. 00:06:26.682 --> 00:06:28.976 Go under. We'll be safe in here. 00:06:31.729 --> 00:06:32.563 What the hell? 00:06:32.647 --> 00:06:34.816 I'm not sharing my kingdom with you sheep. 00:06:34.857 --> 00:06:38.027 No one busts into Eli's mall. And don't even try to escape. 00:06:38.152 --> 00:06:40.988 Every door is locked or booby trapped. 00:06:42.990 --> 00:06:44.075 Booby. 00:06:45.243 --> 00:06:47.703 Wesley Fists led the state in sacks last season. 00:06:47.829 --> 00:06:48.913 Take him out, Samurai. 00:06:49.664 --> 00:06:52.792 To fight someone so obviously inferior would be dishonorable. 00:06:53.084 --> 00:06:54.669 One punch, Wesley, come on. 00:06:54.752 --> 00:06:56.921 - One punch. - Such actions go against my code. 00:06:57.004 --> 00:07:00.258 Code? You never even lifted a finger when Hoyles used to * with me. 00:07:00.758 --> 00:07:03.428 This isn't about what we did in high school, Joshua. 00:07:07.932 --> 00:07:11.227 What the * is in here with us? 00:07:11.352 --> 00:07:13.438 Ooh, a Ghoulie witch. 00:07:13.521 --> 00:07:15.022 Once upon a time, 00:07:15.064 --> 00:07:17.733 she was a normal girl who liked hanging out at the mall. 00:07:17.859 --> 00:07:22.321 But now, she's got mad powers, and she will * your shit up. 00:07:22.405 --> 00:07:26.242 She is unkillable, and she is hangry. 00:07:26.367 --> 00:07:28.202 There's no such thing as witches. 00:07:28.286 --> 00:07:31.247 Well, a few months ago, there weren't mutant squirrels or Ghoulies either. 00:07:31.372 --> 00:07:34.709 That's right. And when the Witch eats your intestines like spaghetti, 00:07:34.792 --> 00:07:38.754 you'll think, "I never should've dissed King Eli." 00:07:40.298 --> 00:07:41.424 Eli... 00:07:44.802 --> 00:07:48.681 Don't worry. I'll convince him to let you out. 00:07:48.764 --> 00:07:50.892 I'mma go full Gandhi on his *. 00:07:51.893 --> 00:07:53.186 Hunger strike. 00:08:09.827 --> 00:08:10.995 Nice form. 00:08:11.078 --> 00:08:14.624 Perfect spiral. It's my fault you missed my face, Turbo. 00:08:14.749 --> 00:08:16.501 Stop trying to brownnose the boss, Jerry. 00:08:17.084 --> 00:08:18.377 We don't deserve this shit. 00:08:18.461 --> 00:08:22.798 Yeah, we did our job rounding up laggers, scouting tribes for you to conquer. 00:08:22.924 --> 00:08:26.093 We're full-fledged Lemon Pledge. Teamwork makes the dream work. 00:08:26.469 --> 00:08:28.095 You boys are faux jocks. 00:08:28.137 --> 00:08:29.931 You're here by the grace of Turbo. 00:08:30.515 --> 00:08:32.266 And how do you repay his charity? 00:08:32.975 --> 00:08:37.313 You cost him his perfect record, 18 and 0 versus the apocalypse. 00:08:37.855 --> 00:08:39.524 Defeated by a complete unknown. 00:08:40.024 --> 00:08:42.026 - A rookie! - His name is Josh. 00:08:43.110 --> 00:08:43.945 Tennis Josh? 00:08:43.986 --> 00:08:45.988 - No. - Little Josh with the big truck? 00:08:46.447 --> 00:08:48.324 - Nope. - Gay Josh or Other Gay Josh? 00:08:48.449 --> 00:08:50.201 Just Josh. Josh Wheeler. 00:08:52.620 --> 00:08:54.997 You know what you need, Turbo? A win. 00:08:55.122 --> 00:08:58.125 Get rid of the stank of defeat with the antiperspirant of victory. 00:08:58.543 --> 00:09:01.045 - What do you know of victory, Terry? - That's Jerry. 00:09:01.128 --> 00:09:03.047 - Terry's dead. - R-I-P, Terry. 00:09:03.130 --> 00:09:04.799 - Playing the back nine in heaven. - Shh. 00:09:04.840 --> 00:09:07.385 I'm captain now, says so on my shirt. 00:09:07.468 --> 00:09:09.929 You know, Turbo, you're a conqueror who pwns. 00:09:10.346 --> 00:09:12.682 Make the other tribes pay for the protection you provide. 00:09:12.807 --> 00:09:13.849 Assert your authority. 00:09:14.392 --> 00:09:16.143 You'll see just how well you are loved. 00:09:20.356 --> 00:09:21.816 Should we send up a group text 00:09:21.857 --> 00:09:24.652 and make these plebes * up to your apex-ness? 00:09:30.491 --> 00:09:32.034 Ouch. 00:10:09.614 --> 00:10:11.115 We can't open the gate. 00:10:11.449 --> 00:10:13.200 It's rigged with an IED. 00:10:14.035 --> 00:10:16.037 This is some Hunger Games-level shit. 00:10:17.371 --> 00:10:20.374 But the truth is, this place is awesome. 00:10:21.042 --> 00:10:25.212 There's food, beds, and a ton of hair straighteners. 00:10:28.466 --> 00:10:30.217 So there's a critter problem. 00:10:30.593 --> 00:10:33.596 My parents' home had raccoons. Sames. 00:10:34.138 --> 00:10:37.058 - I can take care of varmints. - Wait, we're not killing anyone. 00:10:37.808 --> 00:10:39.560 This was the last place Sam was seen. 00:10:39.602 --> 00:10:41.896 She's the only kid I knew who loved the mall. 00:10:42.730 --> 00:10:44.106 What if she's this Witch? 00:10:44.940 --> 00:10:47.234 - You think she turned Ghoulie? - You said it yourself. 00:10:47.318 --> 00:10:49.362 We have no idea what's going on. 00:10:49.445 --> 00:10:51.322 If there's even a chance, I have to help Sam. 00:10:51.906 --> 00:10:56.369 Eye roll. You only like Sam 'cause she may have touched your *. 00:10:56.452 --> 00:10:59.830 This is not about getting some handy from some rando. 00:11:00.581 --> 00:11:01.666 This is love. 00:11:02.083 --> 00:11:04.585 Sam is the only actual good person I have ever met. 00:11:05.169 --> 00:11:06.170 Here, 00:11:07.338 --> 00:11:08.506 let me show you. 00:11:12.635 --> 00:11:14.595 Sam. Hey! 00:11:14.637 --> 00:11:17.640 Hey. Bold trousers. 00:11:19.767 --> 00:11:21.018 Pretty cool, right? 00:11:21.435 --> 00:11:23.604 - Yeah. - So... 00:11:24.438 --> 00:11:25.606 what are we doing here? 00:11:26.315 --> 00:11:28.317 You and I are gonna save the world. 00:11:29.193 --> 00:11:32.196 How are two teenagers in the mall gonna accomplish that? 00:11:32.279 --> 00:11:34.448 Vlogging. Get your phone out. 00:11:34.949 --> 00:11:38.285 Vlog... vlogging? That's a little yesterday of you. 00:11:38.369 --> 00:11:41.539 Look, there's so much shit-shaming going on people's Insta stories and posts, 00:11:41.622 --> 00:11:42.873 we're all Novocained. 00:11:43.374 --> 00:11:44.834 I just wanna see what happens 00:11:44.959 --> 00:11:47.920 if/when people get an actual, real-life compliment. 00:11:48.671 --> 00:11:50.464 Not everyone deserves a compliment. 00:11:50.506 --> 00:11:52.883 Oh, I'm so gonna prove you wrong, Eeyore. 00:11:53.467 --> 00:11:55.219 If I had a gauntlet, I'd throw it. 00:11:55.302 --> 00:11:57.263 Well, there's a sale at the gauntlet depot. 00:12:00.850 --> 00:12:02.059 Um... 00:12:03.811 --> 00:12:05.730 Okay, okay, start with Huntley over there. 00:12:06.188 --> 00:12:08.190 Oh. Challenge accepted. 00:12:09.316 --> 00:12:10.401 Roll the camera. 00:12:13.154 --> 00:12:15.281 Hey, Jess... Jessica. 00:12:15.573 --> 00:12:16.490 Um... 00:12:16.574 --> 00:12:19.410 So I'm making this vlog, and I just wanted to say... 00:12:19.493 --> 00:12:22.121 I love your taste in music. Beastie Boys deep cuts 00:12:22.204 --> 00:12:24.874 and The Regrettes. Your playlists are on lock repeat. 00:12:26.917 --> 00:12:27.918 Thanks. 00:12:28.335 --> 00:12:30.713 Your memes are social currency. 00:12:32.173 --> 00:12:33.132 They are! 00:12:36.010 --> 00:12:37.678 - Principal Burr. - Hi, Sam. 00:12:37.762 --> 00:12:40.347 You have a kind and compassionate heart. 00:12:40.431 --> 00:12:43.184 Oh, well, thank you. That's all that cardio. 00:12:43.225 --> 00:12:45.478 Mona. Mona, hi, hello. 00:12:45.561 --> 00:12:49.440 I just wanted to tell you, you have the best *. 00:12:49.523 --> 00:12:51.567 Like, fearless cleavage. 00:12:52.067 --> 00:12:53.402 You're a femme future leader. 00:12:54.695 --> 00:12:58.866 If you're making fun of me, Sam Dean, I swear I'll gas-pedal your box. 00:13:22.348 --> 00:13:25.017 See, this is why people love Sam... 00:13:26.393 --> 00:13:27.895 because she cares about everyone. 00:13:33.359 --> 00:13:35.402 Hey, why the face? 00:13:37.863 --> 00:13:41.158 It's not like I'm not having fun, you know, saving the world and all, 00:13:41.242 --> 00:13:44.078 I just... I don't know, I thought that we were gonna hang. 00:13:49.542 --> 00:13:50.751 Are you wearing Drakkar Noir? 00:13:51.085 --> 00:13:55.381 - Spritzed by an overzealous perfumer. - Hair brushed, nice shirt, those pants. 00:13:55.464 --> 00:13:57.132 Please stop talking about the pants. 00:13:57.216 --> 00:13:59.718 You look like you're about to hit up brunch at the Olive Garden. 00:13:59.760 --> 00:14:01.262 Who doesn't like brunch? 00:14:01.971 --> 00:14:05.933 You didn't think this was a hang. You thought this was a hang hang. 00:14:08.561 --> 00:14:11.313 I just... I thought that we... we'd... 00:14:17.069 --> 00:14:19.238 You wanna know what I love about you, Josh Wheeler? 00:14:22.950 --> 00:14:24.410 What the shit, Hoyles? 00:14:24.493 --> 00:14:25.619 Hey, Fap Rag. 00:14:26.453 --> 00:14:29.331 Scuffed my kicks. Lick 'em clean, loser. 00:14:29.415 --> 00:14:31.125 Wesley, call off your dog. 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:32.751 No one controls Hoyles. 00:14:32.793 --> 00:14:34.962 You just got to microwave popcorn and enjoy the show. 00:14:35.421 --> 00:14:37.673 - Turbo, come on. - I'm posting this to WorldStar. 00:14:38.757 --> 00:14:40.426 Just because you were held back three years 00:14:40.467 --> 00:14:42.720 doesn't mean you have to be such a * prick, Hoyles. 00:14:42.761 --> 00:14:45.347 Get down and taste my leather, 00:14:46.140 --> 00:14:47.349 or I will destroy your face. 00:14:56.525 --> 00:14:57.693 Josh. Josh! 00:15:00.988 --> 00:15:03.490 Sam won the bet. 00:15:03.616 --> 00:15:05.492 Our video made everyone feel... 00:15:05.618 --> 00:15:08.454 you know, loved. 00:15:08.829 --> 00:15:11.665 Except you. You ran away from Hoyles. 00:15:12.124 --> 00:15:15.336 Sam must've been so attracted to the smell of your * after that. 00:15:18.881 --> 00:15:19.882 Stay here. 00:15:22.468 --> 00:15:25.137 Do you even know how hard it is to catch a Ghoulie? 00:15:25.179 --> 00:15:26.472 My dad taught me about hunting. 00:15:26.555 --> 00:15:27.681 You couldn't catch herpes 00:15:27.806 --> 00:15:31.727 if you stuck your * in a jello ambrosia made of hooker saliva and pineapples. 00:15:31.810 --> 00:15:33.395 Just because there are no parents, 00:15:33.812 --> 00:15:35.898 doesn't mean you have to swear like a racist grandma. 00:15:35.981 --> 00:15:37.900 Please, I haven't changed. 00:15:38.359 --> 00:15:39.360 Well, I have. 00:15:40.819 --> 00:15:43.572 I'm not running away. I'm saving Sam. 00:16:19.066 --> 00:16:20.067 Sam! 00:16:31.245 --> 00:16:32.287 Sam? 00:16:34.373 --> 00:16:36.834 I'm a little teapot, short and stout 00:16:36.917 --> 00:16:40.129 Here is my handle Here is my spout 00:16:40.212 --> 00:16:43.549 When I get all steamed up Hear me shout 00:16:43.632 --> 00:16:48.721 Tip me over And pour me out 00:16:51.724 --> 00:16:52.683 Shit. 00:16:54.935 --> 00:16:56.061 Angelica! 00:17:02.901 --> 00:17:04.028 Dummy. 00:17:04.945 --> 00:17:06.822 - Dummy? - Hey, dummy. 00:17:10.659 --> 00:17:13.412 So, is that thing your girly-friend? 00:17:17.082 --> 00:17:19.126 Sam? It's me. 00:17:20.002 --> 00:17:22.421 - It's Josh. - Josh. 00:17:23.338 --> 00:17:25.424 Josh Wheeler? 00:17:27.426 --> 00:17:29.762 Yeah! That's right. 00:17:29.803 --> 00:17:31.346 Josh Wheeler? 00:17:33.766 --> 00:17:34.850 Present. 00:17:35.267 --> 00:17:37.686 That's not Sam. That's not * Sam at all. 00:17:37.770 --> 00:17:42.691 That's not Sam. Not Sam. I'm not * Sam at all. Not at all. 00:17:43.525 --> 00:17:44.526 Ms. Crumble? 00:17:47.780 --> 00:17:49.948 You guys remember Ms. Crumble, right? 00:17:50.783 --> 00:17:53.077 - Jaden Unger. - Yeah. 00:17:54.787 --> 00:17:55.954 Jaden Hoyles. 00:17:56.038 --> 00:17:57.831 New phone, who dis? 00:18:01.794 --> 00:18:02.795 Josh Wheeler? 00:18:04.379 --> 00:18:05.380 Hey! 00:18:06.298 --> 00:18:08.967 What's up your *? This is amazing. 00:18:09.051 --> 00:18:11.053 It's just my biology teacher. 00:18:11.553 --> 00:18:14.056 You dim bulb, you're missing the point. 00:18:14.139 --> 00:18:16.391 She's a grown-up who can say more than one sentence. 00:18:16.475 --> 00:18:18.769 - She survived! - No. 00:18:19.311 --> 00:18:20.395 This is not survival. 00:18:21.063 --> 00:18:25.984 This is like having your eyes Krazy Glued open 00:18:26.068 --> 00:18:29.738 and being forced to watch Teletubbies. 00:18:29.822 --> 00:18:34.701 Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! 00:18:34.827 --> 00:18:36.578 Hey! Settle down! 00:19:01.895 --> 00:19:04.523 Save me, Lord, from evildoers. 00:19:04.940 --> 00:19:07.860 May red-hot coals fall on their faces and burn them. 00:19:07.943 --> 00:19:10.779 May they be thrown in a vat of acid or other stuff that hurts. 00:19:10.863 --> 00:19:12.030 And by evildoers, Lord, 00:19:12.114 --> 00:19:15.367 I'm talking about Baron Triumph and anyone who breaks in my mall to swipe my shit. 00:19:17.536 --> 00:19:19.037 Including Wesley Fists, 00:19:19.121 --> 00:19:23.083 who is my nemesis and deserves to have his * munched on by fire ants. 00:19:24.376 --> 00:19:26.795 Your peaceful servant, Eli. 00:19:27.379 --> 00:19:29.381 I don't think that's from the Bible. 00:19:29.464 --> 00:19:31.425 It's new. The Book of Judgy. 00:19:31.884 --> 00:19:34.011 If Triumph figures out how to get in here, we're toast. 00:19:34.052 --> 00:19:36.972 I mean, literally. Look at me, I'm delicious. 00:19:37.055 --> 00:19:39.391 I don't know why you harbor ill will toward me, 00:19:39.474 --> 00:19:41.894 but you should let Josh and Angelica out to fight off Triumph. 00:19:41.935 --> 00:19:44.271 I have a zero tolerance immigration policy. 00:19:44.396 --> 00:19:47.064 If you don't want to be detained with the Ghoulie Witch, don't come. 00:19:47.065 --> 00:19:48.984 You let your girlfriend Mavis in. 00:19:49.067 --> 00:19:52.321 - Where is she at? Let me talk to her. - You can't. Mavis is shy. 00:20:09.087 --> 00:20:12.758 You can't shake hands with a clenched fist, Eli. 00:20:13.592 --> 00:20:15.177 Indira Gandhi said that. 00:20:17.346 --> 00:20:21.433 You smoke top-shelf dank. You must have some hard munchies. 00:20:22.684 --> 00:20:23.685 Look there. 00:20:25.979 --> 00:20:28.315 Chocolate, corn syrup, and, mmm, 00:20:28.440 --> 00:20:32.653 that sweet-* hydrogenated soybean oil. Whoo! 00:20:32.778 --> 00:20:35.822 I mean, I prefer hydrogenated palm kernel oil, 00:20:35.948 --> 00:20:38.408 but I'm starving. 00:20:52.464 --> 00:20:54.132 Where did you get an anvil? 00:20:54.967 --> 00:20:55.801 Target. 00:20:55.884 --> 00:20:58.637 Your survival tactics are based on cartoons. 00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:01.431 You're not Bugs Bunny. 00:21:01.515 --> 00:21:03.141 And you're not a samurai. 00:21:03.183 --> 00:21:05.644 You're a true piece of shit, Wesley Fists. 00:21:05.686 --> 00:21:08.355 I worked for a year at my aunt's threading salon. 00:21:08.814 --> 00:21:12.442 I plucked thousands of thick, black leg hairs 00:21:12.526 --> 00:21:14.152 off ancient Armenian grandmas. 00:21:14.194 --> 00:21:17.155 It was all so I could buy a pair of turtledove Yeezy knockoffs. 00:21:17.197 --> 00:21:19.032 And the day I unboxed my shoes, 00:21:19.491 --> 00:21:22.411 you and Hoyles chased me down and stole my kicks. 00:21:22.494 --> 00:21:25.747 And when they didn't fit you, you tossed them over a telephone wire. 00:21:26.540 --> 00:21:29.543 The child I was is not the man I hope to become. 00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:33.922 How different can you really be? 00:21:34.506 --> 00:21:36.675 How pacifist are you, samurai? 00:21:54.026 --> 00:21:55.527 I'm sorry for what I did to you. 00:21:57.279 --> 00:21:58.447 Do you feel better? 00:21:59.239 --> 00:22:00.866 - Kinda. - Me too. 00:22:05.954 --> 00:22:09.207 Were you looking for the real gate keys? 00:22:13.420 --> 00:22:14.796 This * boy. 00:22:46.578 --> 00:22:48.038 Tribes of Glendale, 00:22:48.121 --> 00:22:50.832 how will you honor the great Turbo Bro Jock? 00:22:54.419 --> 00:22:59.299 The Disciples of Kardashia offer you kegs of IPA Gold. 00:23:01.843 --> 00:23:03.678 This is not like the watered-down swill 00:23:03.762 --> 00:23:06.431 that we had to overpay Lonny for at the Gas and Gulp 00:23:06.473 --> 00:23:08.517 when our fake IDs didn't work at Vons. 00:23:08.600 --> 00:23:09.601 No, tonight, 00:23:10.185 --> 00:23:14.147 you party with keg stands and beer pong. 00:23:16.108 --> 00:23:17.609 Next! 00:23:22.280 --> 00:23:26.493 I am Melkyar Darksbane, formerly known as Beth, 00:23:26.827 --> 00:23:30.122 of the tribe Animal Style of clan 4-H. 00:23:30.622 --> 00:23:32.332 Thanks to your beneficence, 00:23:32.457 --> 00:23:35.877 we have bred a healthy and thick stock of sheep. 00:23:36.878 --> 00:23:38.130 Next! 00:23:43.635 --> 00:23:45.095 STEM Punks have nothing to offer. 00:23:45.637 --> 00:23:47.389 You dare come empty-handed? 00:23:47.973 --> 00:23:50.642 WELL, UH, WE BUILT YOUR EMPIRE: 00:23:51.226 --> 00:23:53.854 engineered those generators, constructed those sweet-* rides. 00:23:54.646 --> 00:23:57.983 Any tech we salvage, any food we find, you bully us into handing it over. 00:23:59.860 --> 00:24:00.861 We have nothing. 00:24:04.990 --> 00:24:05.991 Face it, 00:24:07.367 --> 00:24:08.493 you're *. 00:24:18.837 --> 00:24:20.172 Turbo? 00:24:22.048 --> 00:24:24.426 Oh... 00:24:24.509 --> 00:24:26.386 - Oh, the shit worked! - Yes! 00:24:26.887 --> 00:24:28.847 We're in charge now. 00:24:29.848 --> 00:24:31.683 Geeks have inherited the Earth. 00:24:32.893 --> 00:24:35.270 Finally, people will bow down to science. 00:24:35.604 --> 00:24:37.647 Everybody, bow down to us! 00:24:40.901 --> 00:24:43.695 I said bow. I said bow! 00:24:47.699 --> 00:24:48.742 He's alive! 00:24:49.701 --> 00:24:50.744 He's alive! 00:24:53.246 --> 00:24:54.498 Turbo lives. 00:24:56.625 --> 00:24:59.044 You nerds don't have dibs on smarts. 00:24:59.711 --> 00:25:01.671 Finally found a use for the Golf Team. 00:25:15.143 --> 00:25:17.771 You broke the Emma González Accords. 00:25:17.896 --> 00:25:20.106 We're not playing with guns. 00:25:20.232 --> 00:25:21.399 For these crimes, 00:25:21.483 --> 00:25:24.611 the STEM Punks will be giving us the gift of their lives. 00:25:25.070 --> 00:25:27.489 Tonight, we party like it's Friday. 00:25:27.906 --> 00:25:29.824 Shabbat shalom, * 00:25:34.079 --> 00:25:36.039 Get him! 00:26:20.959 --> 00:26:22.794 Ms. Crumble was my teacher, 00:26:22.877 --> 00:26:24.462 one of the few that I even liked, 00:26:24.963 --> 00:26:27.632 and she was actually there that day at the mall with Sam. 00:26:37.559 --> 00:26:39.060 Shh. 00:26:41.855 --> 00:26:43.273 Hey, Ms. Crumble. 00:26:43.356 --> 00:26:45.525 Have you seen that Josh Wheeler kid around? 00:26:45.567 --> 00:26:47.819 - Who? - Never mind. 00:26:52.115 --> 00:26:53.116 Hi! 00:26:55.035 --> 00:26:55.994 Hey. 00:26:58.538 --> 00:27:01.708 - How long have you been in here? - Almost all day. 00:27:02.042 --> 00:27:04.628 Also hid in a bathroom and under a mattress. 00:27:07.464 --> 00:27:12.010 Are you hungry? I, um... Let's see. I have... 00:27:12.093 --> 00:27:15.722 crushed Goldfish and stale SkinnyPop. 00:27:15.805 --> 00:27:17.265 Oh, crushed Goldfish, please. 00:27:19.601 --> 00:27:22.062 If Hoyles is trying to kick your *, why don't you just leave? 00:27:22.145 --> 00:27:23.521 Those stupid jocks are everywhere, 00:27:23.563 --> 00:27:26.066 and Sam Dean has my phone. I can't find her. 00:27:26.149 --> 00:27:29.235 You don't think that maybe you can get them to stop, do you, Ms. Crumble? 00:27:31.237 --> 00:27:33.698 Oh, you know my name's not Crumble, right? 00:27:35.241 --> 00:27:36.951 Oh, my God. I cried in class once 00:27:37.494 --> 00:27:40.372 'cause I couldn't get these stupid kids to stop looking at their phones. 00:27:41.122 --> 00:27:42.999 I just lost my shit. 00:27:43.083 --> 00:27:45.085 From then on, everyone started calling me Crumble. 00:27:45.168 --> 00:27:49.089 Everyone. Students, parents, teachers. 00:27:49.506 --> 00:27:50.799 Why don't you just correct them? 00:27:51.341 --> 00:27:53.093 Someone hacked into the school computer, 00:27:53.635 --> 00:27:55.762 so now all my class lists come up as Ms. Crumble, 00:27:55.845 --> 00:27:58.556 and, oh, my parking pass says "Ms. Crumble." 00:27:59.099 --> 00:28:02.769 And every time I try to change it, it just goes right back. 00:28:02.852 --> 00:28:04.938 Well, what's your real name? 00:28:06.523 --> 00:28:07.524 Doesn't matter, 00:28:08.608 --> 00:28:11.861 'cause my checks were made out to Ms. Crumble, 00:28:11.945 --> 00:28:14.114 and the bank wouldn't cash them, so... 00:28:15.448 --> 00:28:18.118 I had to legally change my name to Ms. Crumble. 00:28:18.702 --> 00:28:21.454 God, that's the worst hero origin story ever, right? 00:28:22.706 --> 00:28:26.793 Okay, you know, the mall doesn't close for another five hours, 00:28:27.544 --> 00:28:30.880 so you might be here a while, and I'm gonna... 00:28:33.550 --> 00:28:35.468 I'm sorry that I can't help you. 00:28:38.346 --> 00:28:39.514 Look, I got to go. 00:28:39.973 --> 00:28:42.434 No! You can't leave now. 00:28:42.851 --> 00:28:45.979 This is a big * deal here. She's not like other Ghoulies. 00:28:46.062 --> 00:28:47.897 She talks. Listen. 00:28:47.981 --> 00:28:50.233 Did you know that dragonflies have shovel-shaped *? 00:28:50.316 --> 00:28:54.154 See? She says words and has thoughts. 00:28:54.195 --> 00:28:57.365 She is still a kind of person. Maybe there are other ones like her. 00:28:57.490 --> 00:29:00.326 Maybe our parents aren't gone gone. 00:29:00.410 --> 00:29:02.203 We have to stay here and study her. 00:29:02.328 --> 00:29:05.582 There is no "we," Angelica. I get that you miss your mom, but this? 00:29:08.001 --> 00:29:09.878 She's not gonna bring your parents back. 00:29:10.003 --> 00:29:11.421 I need to go and find Sam. 00:29:11.504 --> 00:29:15.049 As soon as I figure out how to get past Eli's locked and booby-trapped doors. 00:29:15.508 --> 00:29:16.760 I can get you out. 00:29:18.178 --> 00:29:19.137 I have a key. 00:29:23.558 --> 00:29:24.559 Where did I put it? 00:29:30.607 --> 00:29:32.859 Ladies? Have you seen my keys? 00:29:38.156 --> 00:29:40.408 I put them on a clapper. Okay. 00:29:42.452 --> 00:29:45.163 See? I knew they were here, I just have to find them. 00:29:49.292 --> 00:29:51.669 I think the sound is coming from you. 00:29:58.301 --> 00:30:01.304 I remember now. I ate the keys. 00:30:02.055 --> 00:30:04.808 I needed the iron. Hold on. 00:30:26.788 --> 00:30:30.291 This is the best thing I have ever seen, 00:30:30.375 --> 00:30:33.920 and I once saw a robot kill a monkey in a knife fight in Thailand. 00:30:39.926 --> 00:30:43.221 Hi, Nikki, there you are. 00:30:43.763 --> 00:30:46.266 Hey, did you see my keys down there? 00:30:48.935 --> 00:30:51.938 She says they're further down, but I cannot reach them. 00:30:52.063 --> 00:30:53.022 I'll do it! 00:30:53.648 --> 00:30:55.733 Your arms are like little nubs! 00:30:56.734 --> 00:30:58.695 But your arms are... 00:30:59.487 --> 00:31:02.407 big and tender, Josh. 00:31:02.490 --> 00:31:04.242 Are you gonna eat my arm? 00:31:04.909 --> 00:31:05.952 I don't know. 00:31:17.505 --> 00:31:19.465 - Josh? - Yeah, just a sec. 00:31:25.763 --> 00:31:26.723 Okay. 00:31:34.272 --> 00:31:35.607 Be the flow. 00:32:05.011 --> 00:32:06.012 Almost, almost! 00:32:07.305 --> 00:32:08.514 Got it! 00:32:10.975 --> 00:32:12.518 Ugh! 00:32:15.313 --> 00:32:16.648 I'll see you around. 00:32:17.357 --> 00:32:18.358 Josh? 00:32:19.525 --> 00:32:21.069 Come on. You're no hunter. 00:32:21.152 --> 00:32:23.488 You're running away, just like you did from Hoyles. 00:32:23.571 --> 00:32:26.491 You could have a tribe here. We could learn so much. 00:32:26.532 --> 00:32:28.576 Why do you think you have to do this all alone? 00:32:30.328 --> 00:32:31.788 Bye-bye, Angelica... 00:32:31.871 --> 00:32:35.333 Oh! *! Get off me now! Shit! 00:32:35.416 --> 00:32:37.669 Crapsicles! I left my molotovs in my bag. 00:32:37.752 --> 00:32:39.045 - Get off me! - Don't die! 00:32:43.591 --> 00:32:44.592 You see anything? 00:32:48.513 --> 00:32:50.014 I don't see shit. 00:33:01.859 --> 00:33:04.028 Please tell me that's one of your traps. 00:33:06.114 --> 00:33:07.240 That's not my booby. 00:33:11.536 --> 00:33:12.620 Where are we? 00:33:13.621 --> 00:33:14.914 What's that stench? 00:33:17.375 --> 00:33:19.127 This elevator leads to the dumpsters. 00:33:19.210 --> 00:33:21.546 No one in their right mind would come in that way. 00:33:21.879 --> 00:33:24.549 Triumph isn't in his right mind. 00:33:27.135 --> 00:33:29.595 Yo, he's coming up up. Shut the power down. 00:33:29.721 --> 00:33:32.682 No! Hell no! By the time I get there, he'll already be inside. 00:33:32.765 --> 00:33:34.142 We have to hold the line here. 00:33:34.642 --> 00:33:37.061 You ain't Leonidas. This ain't Sparta! 00:33:37.145 --> 00:33:40.064 Triumph has fully modded heavy armor. 00:33:40.106 --> 00:33:41.482 Your arrows might as well be Nerf. 00:33:41.816 --> 00:33:43.484 Then draw your sword and help me fight. 00:33:49.407 --> 00:33:51.451 Check it. I'm a pacifist. 00:33:52.118 --> 00:33:54.996 My highness can't help Your Highness, 00:33:56.080 --> 00:33:57.582 but I know two people who can. 00:33:57.665 --> 00:33:59.042 There's a sale. 00:33:59.083 --> 00:34:02.420 Ten percent off Groove Pants at Lululemon. 00:34:03.671 --> 00:34:04.922 This *! 00:34:05.840 --> 00:34:07.800 I always thought that my death would be epic. 00:34:08.593 --> 00:34:11.095 You know, like one of those scenes they put on '70s vans. 00:34:11.179 --> 00:34:13.806 Like me and Sam versus a horde of Ghoulies. 00:34:14.265 --> 00:34:16.809 But my life isn't even flashing before my eyes. 00:34:17.477 --> 00:34:19.604 All I see is one single moment. 00:34:28.446 --> 00:34:29.614 If only I called her, 00:34:30.448 --> 00:34:32.825 or taken a few more steps, I'd have found Sam. 00:34:34.952 --> 00:34:36.037 But I hesitated. 00:34:38.456 --> 00:34:39.540 I was scared. 00:34:53.971 --> 00:34:55.056 Oh, shit! 00:35:00.645 --> 00:35:02.313 Oh, God. 00:35:04.190 --> 00:35:05.983 - Eli? - You better be worth it. 00:35:06.984 --> 00:35:07.985 Come on. 00:35:12.490 --> 00:35:15.493 - I can't hold it! - All right, let him in. 00:35:32.677 --> 00:35:35.012 Hoyles! Man! 00:35:35.096 --> 00:35:37.181 This does not need to end in violence. 00:35:41.894 --> 00:35:43.604 Wes! 00:36:10.131 --> 00:36:11.716 What the * was that? 00:36:13.551 --> 00:36:16.262 - I wanted to help you. - How did you get out of the store? 00:36:16.804 --> 00:36:19.015 I can turn myself into a mist, 00:36:19.473 --> 00:36:23.728 and then I float through the cracks. Watch! 00:36:31.819 --> 00:36:34.238 Are you ready, girls and boys? 00:36:35.156 --> 00:36:37.992 Are you ready to make some noise? 00:36:38.576 --> 00:36:41.245 Are you ready to lose control? 00:36:41.871 --> 00:36:44.165 Are you ready... 00:36:44.248 --> 00:36:45.249 Move! 00:36:58.179 --> 00:36:59.430 RIP, Harry. 00:37:01.515 --> 00:37:04.227 - That was Jerry. - Brother gave his life for a noble cause. 00:37:04.685 --> 00:37:08.648 So we can get wasted, eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow... 00:37:09.023 --> 00:37:11.234 - We die? - No. 00:37:11.359 --> 00:37:14.195 What? Die? No. 00:37:15.112 --> 00:37:17.573 Tomorrow's weight training, leg day. 00:37:18.032 --> 00:37:20.868 And we never, never skip leg day! 00:37:23.704 --> 00:37:24.664 Who wants it? 00:37:27.458 --> 00:37:28.459 Figure it out. 00:37:30.419 --> 00:37:32.088 - Here, bro. - Here. 00:37:32.630 --> 00:37:33.673 Bro. Bro! 00:37:48.980 --> 00:37:50.314 You're missing the party. 00:37:51.274 --> 00:37:52.400 Why are you in here? 00:37:54.402 --> 00:37:55.903 What's on your mind, hoss? 00:38:07.123 --> 00:38:11.043 So I'm making this vlog, and I just wanted to say... I love your taste in mu... 00:38:31.105 --> 00:38:34.150 So, can we trust her? 00:38:34.275 --> 00:38:36.777 She only attacked me 'cause I was bleeding. 00:38:36.861 --> 00:38:38.779 But everything she's eating is high in iron, 00:38:38.821 --> 00:38:41.824 so she's trying to find something to feed on other than blood. 00:38:41.949 --> 00:38:43.117 That shows intelligence. 00:38:44.285 --> 00:38:47.038 If eating pillow stuffing is intelligent, I'm Stephen Hawking. 00:38:48.789 --> 00:38:51.959 She didn't eat Josh, and she just saved our lives from Triumph. 00:38:52.335 --> 00:38:55.212 - Maybe she does have superpowers? - Yeah. 00:38:55.796 --> 00:38:58.341 She stinks worse than my papy's... 00:38:59.967 --> 00:39:03.637 I don't know what that means, and I don't wanna, 00:39:04.638 --> 00:39:09.560 but for reals, thanks for letting us stay. 00:39:10.853 --> 00:39:12.355 I love my girl Mavis and all, 00:39:13.856 --> 00:39:15.358 but maybe I was kinda lonely. 00:39:16.233 --> 00:39:18.986 I get why you kept everyone out of this place. It is... 00:39:19.737 --> 00:39:20.905 - cherry. - Yeah. 00:39:20.988 --> 00:39:22.239 And, Eli, 00:39:22.823 --> 00:39:26.660 I'm sorry for all the things I did to you in the past. 00:39:27.328 --> 00:39:28.120 It's cool. 00:39:28.204 --> 00:39:29.330 And the present. 00:39:32.416 --> 00:39:33.751 You're a *. 00:39:34.251 --> 00:39:38.672 We can't trust that you won't kill us in our sleep, so you stay on your side, 00:39:39.256 --> 00:39:40.674 we stay on ours. 00:39:44.553 --> 00:39:46.514 You think I'm gonna let you take half my shit? 00:39:47.056 --> 00:39:50.309 Nah, you'll do whatever I want. 00:39:50.393 --> 00:39:53.270 You belong to me, Wesley Fists. 00:39:53.354 --> 00:39:54.355 I know your secret. 00:39:54.438 --> 00:39:57.525 Everyone knows I'm gay. Wake up, nobody cares about that shit anymore. 00:39:57.608 --> 00:39:59.527 Not that. The other secret. 00:40:00.069 --> 00:40:02.113 The reason you're a pacifist. 00:40:02.196 --> 00:40:04.198 I know what you did in the apocalypse. 00:40:06.283 --> 00:40:09.036 I know all, Samurai. I know all! 00:40:17.628 --> 00:40:19.547 You're no hunter. You're running away, 00:40:19.630 --> 00:40:21.257 just like you did from Hoyles. 00:40:21.382 --> 00:40:24.218 You could have a tribe here. We could learn so much. 00:40:24.718 --> 00:40:26.804 Why do you think you have to do this all alone? 00:40:27.388 --> 00:40:28.973 Alone. Alone. 00:40:29.598 --> 00:40:30.724 Angelica! 00:40:31.392 --> 00:40:32.351 Get the * out of here. 00:40:35.729 --> 00:40:36.689 Shit. 00:40:49.577 --> 00:40:50.995 You can stop hiding now. 00:40:58.294 --> 00:40:59.628 I know this is weird and all, 00:41:01.422 --> 00:41:02.840 but you and I, we need to talk. 00:41:03.591 --> 00:41:05.426 But does the world end if we do? 00:41:05.468 --> 00:41:06.969 This isn't a time travel paradox. 00:41:07.470 --> 00:41:10.514 You're from the future. I'm from the past. 00:41:10.598 --> 00:41:11.974 Kinda sounds like time travel. 00:41:12.099 --> 00:41:14.977 No, this is just a visual representation of talking to yourself. 00:41:15.436 --> 00:41:20.733 I'm remembering this moment, how you, or I, felt hiding in the bathroom. 00:41:21.484 --> 00:41:23.986 - God, I hate malls. - And pants. 00:41:24.612 --> 00:41:25.863 * pants. 00:41:27.114 --> 00:41:30.451 - So the world doesn't end if we talk? - Oh, no, the world ends. 00:41:30.534 --> 00:41:31.660 It's just not our fault. 00:41:32.119 --> 00:41:34.038 Oh, shit. For real? 00:41:34.121 --> 00:41:35.956 - Sorry. - Don't be. 00:41:36.499 --> 00:41:39.960 We're actually crushing the apocalypse. We have everything we ever wanted: 00:41:40.044 --> 00:41:42.713 - freedom, cars, a sword. - With the big jar of Nutella? 00:41:49.678 --> 00:41:51.347 The big jar of Nutella. 00:41:51.472 --> 00:41:52.640 Nice. 00:41:55.976 --> 00:41:58.187 So, how does it end? 00:41:58.979 --> 00:42:03.317 War, I think. Korea, Russia, Taylor Swift. 00:42:03.359 --> 00:42:07.196 There was a meme with a cat. Honestly, I wasn't paying attention. 00:42:07.321 --> 00:42:08.989 No, not the end of the world. 00:42:10.991 --> 00:42:11.992 The end of my story. 00:42:15.329 --> 00:42:16.914 Hoyles beats the shit out of you. 00:42:16.997 --> 00:42:19.208 That's a really shitty ending. 00:42:19.333 --> 00:42:20.292 I know. 00:42:21.335 --> 00:42:22.545 That's why I'm here. 00:42:22.670 --> 00:42:25.172 I'm here to remind you that you have to embrace the pain. 00:42:25.256 --> 00:42:27.716 No matter what happens, no matter how bad it gets, 00:42:29.176 --> 00:42:30.177 because... 00:42:33.347 --> 00:42:34.557 because Sam is worth it. 00:42:37.351 --> 00:42:38.519 This helped. 00:42:39.687 --> 00:42:41.063 Thanks. 00:42:49.029 --> 00:42:50.239 It wasn't for you. 00:43:11.552 --> 00:43:14.888 I broke free on a Saturday morning 00:43:14.930 --> 00:43:17.391 I put the pedal to the floor 00:43:18.392 --> 00:43:20.978 Headed north on Mills Avenue 00:43:21.895 --> 00:43:25.065 And listened to the engine roar 00:43:25.149 --> 00:43:28.694 I am gonna make it through this year 00:43:28.777 --> 00:43:30.863 If it kills me 00:43:42.916 --> 00:43:45.127 - Loser. - Later, *. 00:43:52.760 --> 00:43:54.845 Oh, my God. Josh. 00:43:55.262 --> 00:43:56.680 - Hey. - Hey. 00:43:57.765 --> 00:43:58.766 Here, put this on. 00:44:02.102 --> 00:44:03.812 You must think I'm such a coward. 00:44:07.107 --> 00:44:09.026 You wanna know what I love about you? 00:44:25.542 --> 00:44:28.504 - What the hell are you doing? - I have to cut my hand off. 00:44:28.879 --> 00:44:32.132 I got bit. I can't turn into a Ghoulie. 00:44:32.216 --> 00:44:35.219 Oh, you poor, sad, stupid *. 00:44:36.929 --> 00:44:39.848 They're not zombies. This isn't The Walking Dead. 00:44:39.932 --> 00:44:42.935 If you asked me, you'd still have your finger, schmuck. 00:44:45.437 --> 00:44:48.399 So what's life like in the apocalypse...