WEBVTT 00:00:07.250 --> 00:00:08.541 So, let me get this straight. 00:00:08.541 --> 00:00:10.875 You told our neighbor who's been so rude, 00:00:10.875 --> 00:00:13.250 - that we'd take care of his big creepy dog, 00:00:13.250 --> 00:00:14.750 - just so he can jet off to Cabo. 00:00:14.750 --> 00:00:16.583 I think it'll be fun having a dog around the house. 00:00:16.583 --> 00:00:18.416 Look at him. He's so sweet. 00:00:18.416 --> 00:00:20.458 - Ring, ring. - Oh, that is the call. 00:00:20.458 --> 00:00:22.291 - That is the call. Okay. - Ring, ring. 00:00:22.291 --> 00:00:23.375 Where is my phone? 00:00:23.375 --> 00:00:25.125 Uh, I think the dog's sitting on it. 00:00:25.125 --> 00:00:27.041 Oh, okay. I gotta take this. Shoo-shoo. 00:00:27.041 --> 00:00:28.083 Bye-bye. 00:00:28.083 --> 00:00:31.583 Ring, ring. 00:00:32.791 --> 00:00:35.333 Oh my God. The dog swallowed my phone. 00:00:35.333 --> 00:00:38.000 Don't worry, this too shall pass. 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:40.333 Laugh, laugh, laugh with the delightful callback. 00:00:40.333 --> 00:00:41.500 And that's our show. 00:00:41.500 --> 00:00:43.208 Very funny. Looking good. 00:00:43.875 --> 00:00:45.083 It's good. 00:00:45.083 --> 00:00:46.708 Okay. I hate to admit it. 00:00:46.708 --> 00:00:48.750 You were right about the Josie joke. 00:00:48.750 --> 00:00:50.666 Cleveland is funnier than Milwaukee. 00:00:50.666 --> 00:00:52.583 And yet in real life? Milwaukee, funnier. 00:00:52.583 --> 00:00:54.875 Hey Gordon, Hannah. Really nice rewrite last night. 00:00:54.875 --> 00:00:56.625 - Good, good. - I just have a few tiny concerns- 00:00:56.625 --> 00:00:58.166 - about a couple of spots specifically... 00:00:58.166 --> 00:01:01.166 Yeah, you know what? Hold that thought. Just hold. Let me grab a pen. 00:01:01.208 --> 00:01:02.583 Be right with you. 00:01:02.583 --> 00:01:04.375 What the hell? 00:01:04.833 --> 00:01:07.125 Yeah. So I thought it played much better, right? 00:01:07.125 --> 00:01:08.625 Not an idiot. 00:01:08.625 --> 00:01:09.666 What? 00:01:09.666 --> 00:01:11.625 Well, your dad, he's not grabbing a pen. 00:01:11.625 --> 00:01:14.083 - No, he just said he's... - He's not coming back. 00:01:17.375 --> 00:01:18.708 How can I help? 00:01:18.708 --> 00:01:21.291 Well, he never wants to hear any of my thoughts or concerns. 00:01:21.291 --> 00:01:22.958 I'm sorry. Maybe you should just- 00:01:22.958 --> 00:01:24.125 - work out your shit with him. 00:01:24.125 --> 00:01:26.583 I don't think you realize how hurtful it is- 00:01:26.583 --> 00:01:28.625 - to have him just walk out on me like that. 00:01:28.625 --> 00:01:30.458 I mean, I might have some idea. 00:01:30.458 --> 00:01:31.500 Focus, Hannah, please. 00:01:31.500 --> 00:01:33.416 We're, we're talking about me. 00:01:37.708 --> 00:01:43.750 - 00:01:45.125 --> 00:01:46.500 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 00:01:46.500 --> 00:01:48.125 It's women you've never met, 00:01:48.125 --> 00:01:49.958 - in a house you've never been to, 00:01:49.958 --> 00:01:51.291 - doing who knows what? 00:01:51.291 --> 00:01:52.833 Yep. The woman who leads it- 00:01:52.833 --> 00:01:54.916 - is supposed to be amazing. 00:01:54.916 --> 00:01:57.708 They call it a night of female self-discovery. 00:01:57.708 --> 00:01:59.708 They also call it a pyramid scheme. 00:01:59.708 --> 00:02:00.791 Surprise, surprise. 00:02:00.791 --> 00:02:04.125 The least introspective person in the world mocks my journey. 00:02:04.125 --> 00:02:05.750 No, I think it's great. 00:02:05.791 --> 00:02:08.208 Paying big bucks to let the shaman of Brentwood- 00:02:08.208 --> 00:02:09.666 - cleanse your aura while you drink Chardonnay- 00:02:09.666 --> 00:02:11.208 Ha, ha. At least I'm trying to improve myself. 00:02:11.208 --> 00:02:12.208 What have you done lately? 00:02:12.208 --> 00:02:14.625 Up your budget to a higher class of hooker? 00:02:14.625 --> 00:02:16.041 Well, actually the cost- 00:02:16.041 --> 00:02:18.041 - of a regular hooker is way up. 00:02:18.041 --> 00:02:19.458 They say it's the supply chain. 00:02:19.458 --> 00:02:21.250 You're gross and whatever you're paying those women 00:02:21.250 --> 00:02:22.791 - is not enough. 00:02:22.791 --> 00:02:24.750 Oh really, Kelly? Well, that's it. 00:02:24.750 --> 00:02:27.791 I'm not letting you rub your * against my arm anymore. 00:02:27.791 --> 00:02:30.125 Honey, I wouldn't let my * touch any part of you. 00:02:30.125 --> 00:02:32.250 I wear a * just to return your texts. 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:36.000 - I'll be right back. - Okay, honey. 00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:37.541 Hey, if they do tarot cards, 00:02:37.541 --> 00:02:39.916 can you ask my grandma where she hid all her jewelry? 00:02:39.916 --> 00:02:41.750 That's not how tarot works! 00:02:45.041 --> 00:02:46.416 Did you find a pen yet? 00:02:46.416 --> 00:02:48.958 Hannah, stop giving in to these people. 00:02:48.958 --> 00:02:51.041 You gotta learn to give yourself a little distance. 00:02:51.041 --> 00:02:53.291 "These people." You mean the human beings that we work with. 00:02:53.291 --> 00:02:56.041 Who are the reason you can afford a house, and a second family. 00:02:56.041 --> 00:02:57.833 Can I tell you something about actors? 00:02:57.833 --> 00:03:00.750 They are bottomless pits of need. 00:03:00.750 --> 00:03:03.000 Oh, they didn't get nominated for this. 00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:06.041 Oh, the designer didn't give me a free tux for that. 00:03:06.041 --> 00:03:08.208 The Rolex watch they got in the gift bag, 00:03:08.208 --> 00:03:10.166 - wasn't as nice as the Porsches they gave- 00:03:10.166 --> 00:03:11.708 - to the cast of Will & Grace. 00:03:11.708 --> 00:03:13.166 Wait. Seriously, they gave them Porsches? 00:03:13.166 --> 00:03:15.083 Yeah, just the shitty ones, the Boxsters. 00:03:15.083 --> 00:03:17.375 Hey, sorry to bother you guys. 00:03:17.375 --> 00:03:21.458 But, um, I'm having a little bit of a problem. 00:03:21.458 --> 00:03:23.333 And I was hoping we could talk. 00:03:23.333 --> 00:03:24.791 Of course, Zack, we can talk. 00:03:24.833 --> 00:03:26.708 What's on your mind? Tell us. 00:03:26.708 --> 00:03:28.666 I'm kind of in the middle of a custody dispute- 00:03:28.666 --> 00:03:29.791 - with my ex-girlfriend. 00:03:29.791 --> 00:03:32.791 - Oh, you have a kid? - No, a dog. 00:03:33.708 --> 00:03:35.041 Okay, you know what, Zack buddy? 00:03:35.041 --> 00:03:36.041 I really do wanna hear this. 00:03:36.041 --> 00:03:37.541 Let me just go grab a pen. 00:03:39.333 --> 00:03:40.500 Yeah. Okay. 00:03:40.500 --> 00:03:42.625 We can, we can talk until he gets back. 00:03:42.625 --> 00:03:44.125 It's my little Butternut. 00:03:44.250 --> 00:03:46.833 She's the sweetest, cutest dog you've ever seen. 00:03:46.833 --> 00:03:49.291 Oh, is that why you looked so sad after the run-through? 00:03:49.291 --> 00:03:51.375 Yeah. Every dog reminds me of her. 00:03:51.375 --> 00:03:52.666 Even stuffed ones. 00:03:52.666 --> 00:03:54.375 Marcy and I got her when we were together. 00:03:54.375 --> 00:03:56.375 But she's so mad at me for breaking up with her, 00:03:56.375 --> 00:03:57.750 - she won't let me see Butternut. 00:03:57.750 --> 00:03:59.333 But that is a long story. 00:03:59.333 --> 00:04:00.250 Yeah, you don't have to... 00:04:00.250 --> 00:04:02.416 We met at my friend David's bar mitzvah. 00:04:03.416 --> 00:04:05.250 She was right behind me in the grind train. 00:04:05.250 --> 00:04:06.791 We're star-crossed lovers. 00:04:06.791 --> 00:04:08.916 Just like in my movie Bromeo and Juliet. 00:04:11.583 --> 00:04:14.125 So how did, how'd it go with the Kramer vs. Kramer, 00:04:14.125 --> 00:04:15.208 - but with dogs. 00:04:15.208 --> 00:04:17.166 Oh, okay. Okay, maybe you have a point. 00:04:17.166 --> 00:04:19.166 Yeah. I've been doing this a long time. 00:04:19.166 --> 00:04:20.666 You know the truth is... 00:04:21.125 --> 00:04:22.750 ...I'm a little in over my head. 00:04:23.416 --> 00:04:25.416 And I need to learn what you know. 00:04:25.416 --> 00:04:28.458 So, can I sit you down some time and ask you some questions? 00:04:28.458 --> 00:04:30.375 Yeah. Of course. 00:04:30.375 --> 00:04:33.458 I'd be happy to toss a few pearls your way. 00:04:33.458 --> 00:04:35.625 Great. Um, I don't know. How about dinner? 00:04:35.625 --> 00:04:36.500 Are you free tonight? 00:04:37.083 --> 00:04:38.583 I could be. Yes. 00:04:38.583 --> 00:04:40.250 Yeah. Why don't we do one of those- 00:04:40.250 --> 00:04:41.958 - old school places on Hollywood Boulevard. 00:04:41.958 --> 00:04:44.083 You know, where there's an elderly man who still has to work- 00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:46.541 - and he makes you a Caesar salad right at the table. 00:04:46.541 --> 00:04:48.208 And half the desserts are served on fire. 00:04:48.208 --> 00:04:50.541 You had me at elderly man who still has to work. 00:04:50.541 --> 00:04:52.041 Great. 00:04:56.666 --> 00:04:59.250 - Oh, it's so refreshing. - Delicious. Yeah. 00:04:59.250 --> 00:05:01.041 I think I could drink this literally all day. 00:05:01.041 --> 00:05:03.333 And I'm going to. So where... 00:05:03.333 --> 00:05:05.208 Well, this can't be good. 00:05:05.208 --> 00:05:07.000 Oh, it's really good. 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:08.916 - Guess what? - What? 00:05:08.916 --> 00:05:10.416 I'm on mushrooms. 00:05:11.083 --> 00:05:12.375 Seriously? 00:05:12.375 --> 00:05:14.833 Oh yeah. We took mushrooms. Lots of 'em. 00:05:14.833 --> 00:05:16.625 Wow. Check you out. 00:05:16.625 --> 00:05:19.833 It's no big deal. I'm just finding my authentic self- 00:05:19.833 --> 00:05:21.333 - that's uniquely me. 00:05:21.541 --> 00:05:23.416 Just like Gwyneth Paltrow and her Goop show. 00:05:23.416 --> 00:05:25.916 And you're calling me because? 00:05:25.916 --> 00:05:27.750 Because I wanted you to know that- 00:05:27.750 --> 00:05:30.000 - you were completely wrong about my night- 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:31.666 - of female self-discovery. 00:05:31.666 --> 00:05:32.916 Wow. 00:05:35.625 --> 00:05:37.750 Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. 00:05:40.625 --> 00:05:42.541 Right this way, Mr. Gilman. 00:05:47.916 --> 00:05:49.500 Reed. 00:05:49.500 --> 00:05:51.291 I thought I was meeting Hannah. 00:05:51.291 --> 00:05:53.541 Oh, me too. 00:05:53.541 --> 00:05:56.875 Hannah sends her regrets, along with these drinks. 00:05:56.875 --> 00:05:59.458 She also wanted me to give you this pen. 00:05:59.833 --> 00:06:02.458 She said you were always running out. 00:06:04.041 --> 00:06:07.916 It's... it's delicious. 00:06:24.666 --> 00:06:26.750 Well, this is it. 00:06:31.750 --> 00:06:33.250 I'm nervous. 00:06:33.583 --> 00:06:35.250 It really means a lot to me that you're here. 00:06:35.250 --> 00:06:37.708 Well, I want everyone on the show to feel like they can come to me- 00:06:37.708 --> 00:06:40.041 - with their problems and to think of me as a friend. 00:06:40.041 --> 00:06:41.333 Awesome. 00:06:41.333 --> 00:06:43.125 Hey, this weekend you should come by my house. 00:06:43.125 --> 00:06:44.416 I just put in a recording studio, 00:06:44.416 --> 00:06:46.750 - and I'm gonna try rapping for the first time. 00:06:48.208 --> 00:06:50.541 - Zack? - Marcy. 00:06:50.583 --> 00:06:52.166 What the hell are you doing here? 00:06:52.166 --> 00:06:55.541 Well, I, um... Say the thing we talked about. 00:06:55.541 --> 00:06:58.000 I want my frickin' dog and I want her now. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:06:58.875 That wasn't the thing. 00:06:58.875 --> 00:07:01.250 Butternut wants nothing to do with you. 00:07:01.250 --> 00:07:02.750 - You A-hole. - Okay, 00:07:02.750 --> 00:07:04.583 - why don't we all just take a breath... 00:07:04.583 --> 00:07:06.666 Oh, is this your new skank girlfriend? 00:07:06.666 --> 00:07:08.708 Yeah. And we do it all the time. 00:07:08.708 --> 00:07:10.916 Jesus Chri... No, no. 00:07:10.916 --> 00:07:12.500 Hi. I'm Hannah. I work with Zack. 00:07:12.500 --> 00:07:14.125 Whatever you guys can come in. 00:07:18.083 --> 00:07:20.458 Oh, wow. That's a lot of toys. 00:07:20.458 --> 00:07:22.875 What? They're not toys. 00:07:22.875 --> 00:07:25.166 They're celebrity-themed collectibles. 00:07:26.250 --> 00:07:28.541 - Where's Butternut? - Why should I tell you that? Huh? 00:07:28.541 --> 00:07:30.750 You never told me when you spent all night- 00:07:30.750 --> 00:07:33.541 - playing Dance Dance Revolution with Becca. 00:07:33.541 --> 00:07:36.916 For the millionth time, we're just dance friends. 00:07:36.916 --> 00:07:39.291 No one is just dance friends with Becca. 00:07:39.291 --> 00:07:41.791 I'm sorry to interrupt. You know, I just realized I, um, 00:07:41.791 --> 00:07:43.833 - I gotta go grab a... a pen. 00:07:43.833 --> 00:07:46.416 You know what? You should both go. 00:07:46.416 --> 00:07:48.833 I'm just thinking about what's best for Butternut. 00:07:48.833 --> 00:07:51.291 No you're not. You're just using Butternut as a weapon- 00:07:51.291 --> 00:07:52.416 - to get back at Zack for leaving. 00:07:52.416 --> 00:07:54.791 Oh, suddenly the hottie just can read my mind? 00:07:54.791 --> 00:07:57.083 The point is, Zack wants to be in Butternut's life, 00:07:57.083 --> 00:07:58.666 - and you should want that too. 00:08:01.333 --> 00:08:02.916 We could share her. 00:08:02.916 --> 00:08:04.375 I could take her to work with me. 00:08:04.375 --> 00:08:06.916 So she's supposed to just sit in your trailer all day? 00:08:06.916 --> 00:08:09.541 Well, I'll put a bed in my office. She can hang out there whenever she wants. 00:08:09.541 --> 00:08:11.708 Fine. 00:08:14.375 --> 00:08:15.708 Thank you so much for being here. 00:08:15.708 --> 00:08:17.375 Yeah, I'm so psyched for you to see your dog. 00:08:17.375 --> 00:08:19.500 Oh my God. It's gonna be like those Instagram videos- 00:08:19.500 --> 00:08:21.791 - where doggies are, are reunited with their owners- 00:08:21.791 --> 00:08:23.583 - after not seeing them for a while. 00:08:26.416 --> 00:08:28.375 - The *. - Butternut! 00:08:29.666 --> 00:08:31.875 Oh, she remembers me! 00:08:31.875 --> 00:08:34.125 Aw... 00:08:35.958 --> 00:08:38.583 Oh, and she grew more hair! 00:08:42.458 --> 00:08:44.375 Oh, here we go. 00:08:46.500 --> 00:08:47.666 Clay! 00:08:47.666 --> 00:08:49.500 - What, Bree? - I'm lost. 00:08:49.500 --> 00:08:51.375 A hummingbird invited me to her nest, 00:08:51.375 --> 00:08:52.875 - but we got separated. 00:08:52.875 --> 00:08:54.666 Do you see the house you were at? 00:08:54.666 --> 00:08:56.916 Or any of the other entitled white women? 00:08:56.916 --> 00:08:59.875 - No. - Bree, tell me exactly what you see. 00:08:59.875 --> 00:09:02.041 When my eyes are open or closed? 00:09:02.041 --> 00:09:03.708 When they're open, I see a fence. 00:09:03.708 --> 00:09:05.291 When they're closed, dragons. 00:09:06.291 --> 00:09:09.166 Okay. Look, I'm coming to get you. 00:09:09.166 --> 00:09:10.958 Do you know how to drop a pin? 00:09:10.958 --> 00:09:13.083 I don't have a * pin! 00:09:13.083 --> 00:09:14.625 Not that kind of pin. 00:09:14.625 --> 00:09:16.500 - Listen to me. - Okay. 00:09:16.500 --> 00:09:17.666 When we hang up, 00:09:17.666 --> 00:09:20.583 I want you to hold up your phone and say, 00:09:20.583 --> 00:09:23.583 "Hey Siri, send Clay my location." 00:09:23.583 --> 00:09:25.250 Okay, okay. 00:09:25.250 --> 00:09:26.458 Repeat that. 00:09:26.458 --> 00:09:28.000 Sarah, send me on vacation! 00:09:41.750 --> 00:09:44.041 You a Clippers fan by any chance? 00:09:44.041 --> 00:09:45.250 Not really. 00:09:45.250 --> 00:09:46.500 Lakers? 00:09:46.500 --> 00:09:47.833 Actually, I've been living in New York- 00:09:47.833 --> 00:09:48.916 - for the last 15 years, so. 00:09:48.916 --> 00:09:50.250 It's Nicks. 00:09:50.250 --> 00:09:52.333 Not a big NBA guy. 00:09:53.833 --> 00:09:56.250 So what the * would you bring up New York for? 00:09:57.125 --> 00:09:59.291 You, you're something else, man. 00:09:59.291 --> 00:10:00.625 Okay. 00:10:00.625 --> 00:10:02.625 What, what is your problem with me? 00:10:02.625 --> 00:10:04.375 Well, for one you don't like basketball. 00:10:04.375 --> 00:10:06.041 *-A. I'm serious. 00:10:06.041 --> 00:10:08.375 No, I know that. You're always serious. 00:10:08.375 --> 00:10:10.125 And you overthink everything, 00:10:10.125 --> 00:10:11.583 - then you're never happy. 00:10:11.583 --> 00:10:13.208 You are never happy. 00:10:13.208 --> 00:10:16.208 I, you get a script, and instead of thinking, gee, 00:10:16.208 --> 00:10:19.291 what can I do to make this the funniest, and the best it can be? 00:10:19.333 --> 00:10:21.916 You decide that, no, right away it stinks. 00:10:21.916 --> 00:10:23.416 The script stinks and I stink- 00:10:23.416 --> 00:10:25.333 - and everything needs to be rewritten. 00:10:26.041 --> 00:10:28.541 And what makes it especially galling, 00:10:28.541 --> 00:10:29.958 - is that you actually have the rare gift- 00:10:29.958 --> 00:10:31.458 - of being * funny. 00:10:31.458 --> 00:10:33.166 I'm telling you, your comedic timing when- 00:10:33.166 --> 00:10:36.041 - you don't get in your own way, swear to George Burns, 00:10:36.041 --> 00:10:37.250 - it's impeccable. 00:10:37.250 --> 00:10:38.791 It's like, like music. 00:10:38.791 --> 00:10:41.958 You could be one of the greatest comedic actors of all time. 00:10:41.958 --> 00:10:43.541 You remember those hilarious movies- 00:10:43.541 --> 00:10:46.208 - that Sir Laurence Olivier and Daniel Day-Lewis did? 00:10:46.208 --> 00:10:47.708 What...? No. 00:10:47.708 --> 00:10:50.250 Exactly. 'Cause they couldn't do it. 00:10:50.250 --> 00:10:52.458 But you, you have the superpower, man. 00:10:52.458 --> 00:10:55.000 You, you can make millions of people laugh. 00:10:55.000 --> 00:10:57.250 And to put that out into the world, 00:10:57.250 --> 00:11:02.000 - to bring people a little joy at the end of their shit day. 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:04.041 * you for not appreciating that. 00:11:04.041 --> 00:11:05.125 'Cause I swear to God, 00:11:05.125 --> 00:11:06.625 - that is as good and honorable thing- 00:11:06.625 --> 00:11:08.125 - as a man can do. 00:11:14.416 --> 00:11:16.041 Well, Gordon, I'm speechless. 00:11:18.041 --> 00:11:20.166 Shit, if I knew that's all it took, 00:11:20.166 --> 00:11:22.166 - I would've complimented you years ago. 00:11:24.625 --> 00:11:26.125 Bree! 00:11:28.125 --> 00:11:29.625 Damn. 00:11:29.750 --> 00:11:31.250 Duchess? 00:11:32.500 --> 00:11:35.791 Got a big movie producer here who wants to meet you. 00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:40.666 Oh, shit. 00:11:40.666 --> 00:11:43.958 - Die dragon! - Whoa! Jesus. 00:11:49.125 --> 00:11:50.625 You're joking. 00:11:51.875 --> 00:11:53.958 Okay, here we go. 00:11:53.958 --> 00:11:55.750 In the truck and I'll drive you home. 00:11:55.750 --> 00:11:59.500 Whoa, toxic masculinity much? 00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:01.291 Bree, I'm not * around. 00:12:01.291 --> 00:12:02.875 I have some place I need to be. 00:12:02.875 --> 00:12:05.000 And these aren't the type of people you keep waiting. 00:12:05.000 --> 00:12:07.750 Okay, Clay. 00:12:10.041 --> 00:12:13.291 It is too blue in here. 00:12:13.291 --> 00:12:15.583 No, no! 00:12:16.125 --> 00:12:17.708 But do they call me? 00:12:17.708 --> 00:12:20.083 MacGregor the ship builder? No. 00:12:20.083 --> 00:12:22.750 You see that pier? I built that pier meself- 00:12:22.750 --> 00:12:24.000 - with me own hands. 00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:26.458 It could withstand the... the mightiest of storms, 00:12:26.458 --> 00:12:29.750 - but do they ever call me MacGregor the pier builder? 00:12:29.750 --> 00:12:30.791 No! 00:12:30.791 --> 00:12:32.875 But you * one goat. 00:12:37.583 --> 00:12:40.250 He's MacGregor the goat *. 00:12:40.250 --> 00:12:42.458 How have you never heard that joke? 00:12:42.458 --> 00:12:44.041 Oh my God. 00:12:44.041 --> 00:12:46.458 You need, you need to read less. 00:12:46.458 --> 00:12:48.041 Oh, God. You are funny. 00:12:49.166 --> 00:12:50.541 I didn't write damn the thing. 00:12:50.541 --> 00:12:51.958 Who writes those things? I don't... 00:12:51.958 --> 00:12:53.750 Somewhere there's a genius in a basement. 00:12:53.750 --> 00:12:57.708 No, no, Gordon. I mean you are funny. 00:12:58.083 --> 00:12:59.666 I don't say that enough. 00:12:59.666 --> 00:13:01.708 - You never say it. - Well, but I should. 00:13:01.708 --> 00:13:03.708 Because it's true. Okay? 00:13:03.708 --> 00:13:05.791 And you are smart. 00:13:05.833 --> 00:13:07.666 And that's why I get so... 00:13:08.708 --> 00:13:10.041 Never mind. Forget it. 00:13:10.041 --> 00:13:11.291 No. What, what, what? 00:13:11.291 --> 00:13:12.791 Say it, you schmuck. 00:13:12.791 --> 00:13:14.333 What... That's why what? 00:13:16.208 --> 00:13:18.250 It's why I get so frustrated. 00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:22.041 You are smart. You are quick. 00:13:22.041 --> 00:13:23.958 You are perceptive, 00:13:23.958 --> 00:13:27.791 - and more sensitive than you want anyone to think. 00:13:27.791 --> 00:13:31.000 But I don't understand why you, 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:32.791 why you don't go there. 00:13:32.791 --> 00:13:34.000 Why you don't dig deeper. 00:13:34.000 --> 00:13:35.333 I mean, we could have told stories- 00:13:35.333 --> 00:13:38.375 - about things that real families go through. 00:13:38.375 --> 00:13:39.708 - Yeah, well. - You know what I mean? 00:13:39.708 --> 00:13:43.208 And instead, you know, what did we do? 00:13:43.208 --> 00:13:47.083 We did an entire episode based on a Y2K pun. 00:13:47.083 --> 00:13:49.541 Boy, that Brian Boitano. He could land a triple axel. 00:13:49.541 --> 00:13:50.500 Couldn't land a single joke. 00:13:50.500 --> 00:13:52.125 See, that's what I mean. 00:13:52.125 --> 00:13:53.666 I am trying to tell you something 00:13:53.666 --> 00:13:55.041 that I've wanted to say for a long time. 00:13:55.041 --> 00:13:56.458 - That's hard for me to say. - Okay. 00:13:56.458 --> 00:13:58.583 And you, you always have to go for the joke. 00:13:58.583 --> 00:14:00.375 I didn't hear a laugh. Did you hear a laugh? 00:14:00.375 --> 00:14:03.083 You could be so good if you just tried. 00:14:03.083 --> 00:14:05.666 No, Gordon. Why? Why don't you try? 00:14:05.666 --> 00:14:07.625 Wait, wait, you have so much potential. 00:14:07.958 --> 00:14:10.166 What are you? My fourth grade teacher now? 00:14:10.166 --> 00:14:11.666 Gordon, I mean it. 00:14:12.666 --> 00:14:15.750 You are better than that genius in the basement. 00:14:17.500 --> 00:14:19.000 Very nice of you to say. 00:14:19.958 --> 00:14:21.458 Thank you. 00:14:29.500 --> 00:14:32.125 I think that's the guy who invented fire. 00:14:33.500 --> 00:14:35.000 'Cause he's not young. 00:14:37.666 --> 00:14:39.000 Who's daddy's little girl? 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:39.958 You are. 00:14:39.958 --> 00:14:42.166 Yes, you are. That's right! 00:14:43.250 --> 00:14:45.666 Well, I have to admit. 00:14:45.666 --> 00:14:48.375 I haven't seen her this happy in a really long time. 00:14:48.375 --> 00:14:51.500 Oh, do you wanna cuddle with your Aunt Hannah? 00:14:51.500 --> 00:14:54.541 You know, I really don't think that's necessary. 00:14:54.541 --> 00:14:56.791 Oh, she's got kisses to spare. 00:14:56.791 --> 00:14:58.291 Just don't kiss her straight on the mouth, 00:14:58.291 --> 00:15:00.000 - because sometimes she spits up a little. 00:15:00.000 --> 00:15:02.166 Oh, well. God, self-control initiate. 00:15:08.875 --> 00:15:11.458 What happened to us, Zack? 00:15:11.458 --> 00:15:15.083 Well, you got jealous of every woman I worked with, 00:15:15.083 --> 00:15:16.916 - and I like working with women who aren't scared- 00:15:16.916 --> 00:15:18.000 - of my girlfriend. 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:19.916 Yeah. I guess that wasn't cool of me. 00:15:19.916 --> 00:15:21.541 I've grown up a lot since then. 00:15:22.833 --> 00:15:24.458 Maybe we just weren't right for each other. 00:15:24.458 --> 00:15:26.958 - How can you say that? - We're totally different. 00:15:26.958 --> 00:15:29.583 I'm an early riser, you stay up late at night. 00:15:29.583 --> 00:15:31.250 I like watching Rick and Morty, 00:15:31.250 --> 00:15:33.916 - you like watching things that aren't Rick and Morty. 00:15:34.416 --> 00:15:36.833 Okay. We can share custody. 00:15:36.833 --> 00:15:38.250 You can take her half the week, 00:15:38.250 --> 00:15:40.333 - and we can trade off on holidays and weekends. 00:15:40.333 --> 00:15:41.458 I get Halloween. 00:15:41.458 --> 00:15:42.708 Cool. 00:15:42.708 --> 00:15:44.791 You can take her tonight if you want. 00:15:44.791 --> 00:15:46.875 Really? Oh, sick. 00:15:46.875 --> 00:15:49.083 Hannah said that she can watch her while I'm at rehearsal. 00:15:49.125 --> 00:15:50.666 I did say that. Yeah. 00:15:51.291 --> 00:15:53.500 Hey, Marcy, I just want you to know, 00:15:53.500 --> 00:15:55.291 - that I don't regret you and me. 00:15:55.291 --> 00:15:57.375 Because something really good came out of us. 00:15:57.375 --> 00:15:58.875 This little ray of sunshine. 00:16:01.750 --> 00:16:04.958 I think something just came out of this little ray of sunshine. 00:16:11.791 --> 00:16:14.000 Where are we? 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:16.208 Look, I don't have time to take you home first. 00:16:16.208 --> 00:16:17.666 So just sit here, 00:16:17.666 --> 00:16:20.541 - and look at all the pretty water bottles and shit. 00:16:20.541 --> 00:16:22.500 What is this? Your *'s house? 00:16:22.500 --> 00:16:23.791 Your crack den? 00:16:23.791 --> 00:16:24.833 Oh, do you really wanna play- 00:16:24.833 --> 00:16:27.208 - the drug card right now, duchess? 00:16:27.208 --> 00:16:29.541 Now this is not a great neighborhood. 00:16:29.541 --> 00:16:32.208 So just lock the doors and sit. 00:16:32.208 --> 00:16:33.791 Do you understand? 00:16:33.791 --> 00:16:36.166 You are a bad seed, Clay Barber. 00:16:36.166 --> 00:16:37.666 A bad seed. 00:16:38.833 --> 00:16:40.333 Stay. 00:16:44.250 --> 00:16:45.750 Oh my God. 00:17:25.125 --> 00:17:27.333 Thank you for sharing with us, Janice. 00:17:27.333 --> 00:17:28.833 Keep coming back. 00:17:29.083 --> 00:17:31.916 So, is anyone celebrating today? 00:17:35.083 --> 00:17:36.708 Hello. My name is Clay. 00:17:36.708 --> 00:17:38.083 Hi, Clay. 00:17:38.083 --> 00:17:41.000 I'm an alcoholic and I'm celebrating 30 days sober. 00:17:46.041 --> 00:17:47.541 Hello. 00:17:48.166 --> 00:17:50.666 This is an AA meeting. 00:17:51.208 --> 00:17:53.125 That's right, love. 00:17:53.166 --> 00:17:54.666 Come on in, take a seat. 00:17:54.666 --> 00:17:56.041 That's not necessary. She was just... 00:17:56.041 --> 00:17:57.875 My name is Bree. 00:17:57.875 --> 00:17:59.083 Hi Bree. 00:17:59.083 --> 00:18:01.958 - Please don't. - And I'm on mushrooms. 00:18:03.250 --> 00:18:04.500 Okay, so... 00:18:04.500 --> 00:18:06.958 What is the one thing you don't wanna hear- 00:18:06.958 --> 00:18:09.041 - after blowing Willie Nelson? 00:18:09.041 --> 00:18:10.791 What? 00:18:10.791 --> 00:18:12.291 I'm not Willie Nelson. 00:18:13.791 --> 00:18:16.583 - Okay. Yeah. - Is that, is that good? Is that good? 00:18:16.583 --> 00:18:18.916 Look at that. Look at that! 00:18:18.916 --> 00:18:20.583 Chuck Lorre gets a star- 00:18:20.583 --> 00:18:22.375 - on the Hollywood walk of fame. 00:18:22.375 --> 00:18:23.791 How is that possible? 00:18:23.791 --> 00:18:25.291 Holy sh... You know, 00:18:25.916 --> 00:18:28.083 - maybe like 10 years ago. 00:18:28.083 --> 00:18:30.750 I finally get the nerve to do another pilot. 00:18:30.750 --> 00:18:32.875 Network passes. 00:18:32.875 --> 00:18:36.041 Why? 'Cause they had to put three new Chuck Lorre- 00:18:36.041 --> 00:18:39.166 - shows on the air to go with his 11 other shows. 00:18:39.166 --> 00:18:41.125 - Oh, * that guy. - Right? 00:18:41.125 --> 00:18:43.500 No, you, you should have a star. 00:18:43.750 --> 00:18:45.583 - Yes. - I mean, you know. 00:18:45.583 --> 00:18:48.166 Let me, let me say this to Chuck Lorre. 00:18:48.166 --> 00:18:49.291 What are you doing? 00:18:49.291 --> 00:18:51.458 I'm gonna piss on Chuck Lorre's star. 00:18:51.458 --> 00:18:54.250 - No, wait, Gordon, no. - No, I need to do this. 00:18:54.250 --> 00:18:55.916 - You can't do this. - I hate this guy. 00:18:55.916 --> 00:18:58.333 I hate this guy. Don't try and stop me. 00:18:58.333 --> 00:19:00.708 - I'm not gonna. - No. 00:19:00.708 --> 00:19:02.208 Give a minute. 00:19:04.583 --> 00:19:06.083 I can't pee. 00:19:07.041 --> 00:19:08.125 Hey. 00:19:08.125 --> 00:19:10.958 Hey, I'll do it for you. 00:19:12.250 --> 00:19:13.791 Seriously? 00:19:13.791 --> 00:19:15.291 Yep. 00:19:15.583 --> 00:19:17.083 What a guy. 00:19:17.583 --> 00:19:18.375 Go ahead. 00:19:18.375 --> 00:19:21.875 You power wash graffiti on the weekends with that? 00:19:21.875 --> 00:19:24.791 For, you my friend, it is the least I can do. 00:19:25.541 --> 00:19:27.083 No! 00:19:29.250 --> 00:19:31.083 Okay. Just peed a little. 00:19:39.666 --> 00:19:41.166 Hey. 00:19:41.875 --> 00:19:43.416 Hey! 00:19:43.416 --> 00:19:45.166 How you feeling this morning? 00:19:45.166 --> 00:19:46.666 Really, just... 00:19:47.458 --> 00:19:49.000 ...chipper. 00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:51.250 Thanks for coming to get me last night. 00:19:51.250 --> 00:19:53.083 No problem. Uh, and next time- 00:19:53.083 --> 00:19:54.333 - you wanna do drugs in the woods, 00:19:54.333 --> 00:19:56.250 I know some guys who will do that for free. 00:19:56.250 --> 00:19:57.791 I'm sure you do. 00:19:57.791 --> 00:20:01.416 Uh, I also wanted to say that I think it's really, 00:20:01.416 --> 00:20:04.291 - it's great what you're doing with the meetings. 00:20:04.291 --> 00:20:06.583 Oh yeah. Well, we got a second chance here. 00:20:06.583 --> 00:20:07.750 Just trying not to blow it. 00:20:07.750 --> 00:20:09.041 But don't tell anyone, 00:20:09.041 --> 00:20:10.750 - I have a bad reputation to protect. 00:20:10.750 --> 00:20:12.291 Okay. 00:20:12.291 --> 00:20:15.208 I'm glad you're exploring or whatever you want to call it. 00:20:15.208 --> 00:20:16.916 'Cause you used to be so uptight. 00:20:16.916 --> 00:20:19.375 - I wasn't uptight. - Okay. 00:20:19.375 --> 00:20:22.875 Vain, narcissistic, prone to meltdowns, bad at driving. 00:20:22.875 --> 00:20:24.583 Fake nice to waiters in a way that shows- 00:20:24.583 --> 00:20:26.125 - you think you're better than them. 00:20:26.125 --> 00:20:27.625 Uptight is fine. 00:20:29.250 --> 00:20:31.583 It's funny. I needed to stop getting loaded 00:20:31.625 --> 00:20:34.000 and you needed to start. 00:20:34.000 --> 00:20:37.416 Who knows? Fifteen years ago, if I'd had seen this side of you, 00:20:37.416 --> 00:20:40.291 - maybe I'd have tried to get in there myself. 00:20:40.291 --> 00:20:41.833 - Really? - Mm-hm. 00:20:41.833 --> 00:20:44.166 Well, 15 years ago, if I was on drugs, 00:20:44.166 --> 00:20:45.333 - I might have let you. - Heh. 00:20:48.375 --> 00:20:49.958 Hey, you. 00:20:49.958 --> 00:20:52.625 That was quite a cute move you pulled last night. 00:20:52.625 --> 00:20:53.791 Sorry about that. 00:20:53.791 --> 00:20:56.708 And I think you're right about getting involved in the actors' lives. 00:20:56.708 --> 00:20:58.916 No, it was actually really good. 00:20:58.916 --> 00:21:01.708 We drank and we talked and, you know, 00:21:01.708 --> 00:21:03.666 - we said some things that needed to be said. 00:21:03.666 --> 00:21:05.541 Oh, I'm glad to hear that. 00:21:05.541 --> 00:21:06.875 Yeah, so. 00:21:06.916 --> 00:21:09.250 Oh, also we promised a cop a part in the show. 00:21:10.291 --> 00:21:12.166 - I won't ask. - Yeah. 00:21:12.166 --> 00:21:14.958 By the way, I love that restaurant. 00:21:14.958 --> 00:21:18.250 Maybe, you and I could go some time for real, 00:21:18.250 --> 00:21:19.791 - and have a couple of drinks. 00:21:21.166 --> 00:21:22.750 I don't know. 00:21:22.750 --> 00:21:24.458 Getting involved in showrunners' lives. 00:21:24.458 --> 00:21:26.250 They're just, they're a bottomless pit of need. 00:21:26.250 --> 00:21:27.583 Call back, it's cute. 00:21:27.583 --> 00:21:29.541 All right. Everybody already in there? 00:21:29.541 --> 00:21:31.125 - Yeah. - Okay. I'll be right in. 00:21:31.208 --> 00:21:32.375 Hannah. 00:21:32.375 --> 00:21:34.375 - I'm Hugo. One of the grips. - Yeah. 00:21:34.375 --> 00:21:35.750 Zack was telling me you're good at- 00:21:35.750 --> 00:21:37.416 - helping people with their problems. 00:21:37.416 --> 00:21:38.958 - Oh. - You see, 00:21:38.958 --> 00:21:41.000 - my wife just left me 'cause I bought a jet ski- 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.500 - without telling her. 00:21:43.125 --> 00:21:44.375 I'm sorry to hear that. 00:21:44.375 --> 00:21:48.000 Um, let's talk in my office. 00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:49.500 Oh, sure. Yeah. 00:21:53.375 --> 00:21:54.875 Or some place else. 00:21:55.416 --> 00:22:04.041 -