-
- Oh, hello. - Hello!
You're looking chipper.
- Oh, 'cause I feel chipper. - Oh, new.
- Um, since I have you... - Mh-mm.
About me calling you last night.
Oh, do we have to do that?
- No, absolutely we do not. - Okay, good.
I just, I just don't want you to get the wrong impression, okay.
I'm not harboring feelings for you.
I'm just missing Nora.
No worries. I am good.
So, you're Gatorade good?
Yes. Yes, I am.
'Cause I just remember the only time you drank Gatorade-
- is after, you know, getting busy, so.
Yeah, uh...
...I didn't realize that you were back out there.
Well, Timberly and I went out to a hotspot last night.
It was really fun.
- You and Timberly. - Mh-mm.
- That's weird. - Why is it weird?
Last week you tried to destroy her.
I was being silly. We're good friends now.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go do 40 cameos.
You know, another interesting thing about the Gatorade-
- is that...
-
Well, thank you again for meeting with me.
Oh yeah, of course. I'm stoked.
None of the other executives ever wanted to meet with me before.
- Really? - Yeah.
I even invited them to my eighth birthday party.
- Aw. - Oh, it's okay.
They were probably just freaked out about having to wear bathing suits.
How old were you-
- when you first started working? - Four.
I said "ouchie" in a Band-Aid commercial.
Pretty crazy working so young, huh?
Actually, I started a little business when I was six.
Oh, cool. Like a lemonade stand?
I invented a glucose monitor for my diabetic cat,
- which was subsequently purchased-
- by a pharmaceutical company.
Awesome.
So we both started in the medical field.
Yeah.
So, besides Step Right Up,
- do you have any other projects in development-
- that you're excited about?
Actually, yes. Thank you for asking.
I'm currently developing a batting cage in my backyard.
Boom!
Ah, look at this. A donut with bacon.
Who do you think's gonna have a heart attack first,
- me or my rabbi?
Remember when they first put potato chips in a can?
You know what? I am tempted though.
That's actually a fonut.
It's gluten-free and the facon is made with beans.
Okay. Why would you tell me that?
Hey, Reed, I'm confused.
Does the Cody character live above the garage-
- or in the basement?
Nobody knows. It's a whole thing.
- Ugh. - Oh, oh, Timberly.
- Yeah? - I heard that you and Bree went out last night.
Sure did.
May I just say, brava.
Bree's been having a rough go of it since the divorce.
Oh, I know. I was like, girl,
- you think you can't get it, but you can totally get it.
Ah, well, I'm very proud of her, you know?
Cool.
Cool. Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
- Hm? - Timberly?
- Yeah? - Mind if I steal you?
We're about to block the basement scene.
Is that where Cody lives?
Please don't ask me. I can't.
Guys, we're way behind.
And you know how cranky Jerry gets when he's not home by 2:00 PM.
- Okay. All right. - Okay. Let's go!
Hey, don't tell anyone.
Wait, wait. I'm confused. What is scissoring?
- Okay. - This from a woman who was-
- just showing us pictures of her grandson.
- You can't put me in a box. - Not for another year or so.
Where were these jokes yesterday?
Instead of the 50 pitches on oat milk.
For the record, scissoring is bullshit.
Why do you have to ruin everything?
Why am I having such a hard time picturing this scissors thing?
The whole thing is quite simple, actually, okay?
Oh god, why does Alan get to say things like that,
- but I get yelled at for ordering two soups?
Yeah. Let's, let's get back to work.
- Shut up. - It was the '70s.
I had taken a Quaalude.
That's half the reason I come to work.
How about you, two soups?
Who you bringing the clam chowder home to?
Two soups. Is that my nickname now?
Hannah looks uncomfortable. Let's talk about her.
No, we're not gonna do that.
You know what? Hannah's right.
Let's get serious. We got at least-
- three pages to cut out of this script.
And what do we use to cut things.
Scissors.
Came up again naturally.
I got all sorts of crazy stories.
One of my fellow jurors on 12 Angry Boys faked a seizure-
- so he could get to his sister's bowling party.
Wow. People in Hollywood-
- are so much more dramatic than I'm used to.
In Silicon Valley, a coder is considered high maintenance-
- if they ask for a standing desk.
I want one.
I've only ever used a sitting desk.
Well, this has been fun,
- but I gotta get back to the office.
You're not gonna come hang out on set before the run-through?
No, I have to read an outline and try to get through these emails.
Your job doesn't sound as fun as mine.
Have you ever seen any of the cool things on the lot?
Come on. I'm giving you a tour.
No, no, no. I gotta get back to the office.
- But your phone's going on a tour. - Hey!
Oh, Whitney, come on. You're a member of the family now.
You can ask me for anything,
- except for my red Valentino's.
I'm getting buried in those.
The only thing I want is to be your friend.
Come here.
Ooh. I'm liking in this scene today-
- way more than I did yesterday.
A very nice tender moment.
Bygones are now bygones.
And we're out.
Hey, so Jerry, would Bree's buried line-
- be funnier if I made a joke about wanting the Valentino's?
- Ooh! - Bree got a laugh on it.
I think she'd get a bigger one. Let's do it.
- Yeah. - Okay.
Okay. Let's go again.
I don't give a shit.
Did you see that?
Since when is Bree giving away jokes?
It's just like what happened on * Buddy Mountain.
What are you talking about?
There was this super sweet girl, Sarah R,
- who you just couldn't help but love.
But Timberly saw her as a threat.
So, what does she do? She seduces her.
And Sarah R being the naive Iowa farm girl-
- let her guard down and then bam.
Bam. What do you mean, bam?
And then the * council sent her into *-ile.
- Into *-ile? - Yes.
I don't know, but I'm on the edge of my seat.
And that's it, we're out.
- Bye-bye. - See you, Jer.
It was funnier, right?
- Much better. Funnier. - Oh, fantastic.
- It's funny. - Mm-hm.
Hi!
Should we keep pitching on the tag-
- or start to blue sky the next episode?
Huh?
You okay?
Yeah. I, um...
There's all that * talk in there,
- and we were laughing, and then it hit me.
- My dad doesn't know. - Doesn't know what?
He clearly knows a lot more about * than Bob.
No, he doesn't know about me.
You know, that... that I'm a *.
No one says * anymore, Billie Jean King.
Anyway, I just, I don't know.
I feel like I have to come out all over again.
And it's like I thought I was done with this shit.
I'm, you know, 30-ish years old.
That ish is doing a lot of work.
Hmm. At least my bones are strong-
- from having grown up drinking real * milk.
I don't understand. Why didn't you just come out to him?
It's not like he was around when I came out to my mom.
And I wasn't gonna knock on his door and be like,
- "Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you're having fun-
- with the family you left me for.
By the way, I like * with women."
Why don't you just do it now? Get it over with.
You're right. You're right.
Thank you.
I don't why I'm so nervous about this.
Although, is it inappropriate to do at work?
Oh, did you not just attend scissorfest?
- Right. - Yeah.
Hey, um, you busy?
Huh? I got a hankering for something.
I don't know what it is, but something.
Yeah. Yeah. Mind if I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure.
So today it occurred to me that you...
Oh, my God. When was the last time anybody cleaned out this place?
Look at that, Sanka.
Yeah. You know what?
Uh, never mind. Sorry.
Hey, anybody know if Sanka expires?
Would old Sanka be stronger?
Whoa.
The costume shop.
There's so much awesome stuff in here.
This is amazing.
Check it out.
This is the armor that Russell Crowe wore in "Gladiator."
- Really? - Maybe. Who knows.
Wanna try something on?
Here.
As amazing as I'd look in a beekeeper outfit,
- I think we should get back for run-through.
We have plenty of time.
No, I really do not feel comfortable...
That's pretty...
Whoa.
You look amazing.
- Really? - Yeah.
Do a British accent.
Oh no, I do not do that.
Don't be such a fish and chip, gov'nor.
...I'm off to have tea with a... a queen?
Okay. So we did that.
Now let's just go back to being Americans having fun.
Okay.
I like your outfit...
...but it needs something.
- Oh no. - And now... you're a fairy.
Are you sure we're allowed to do this?
- Of course. - Okay.
You're a big-shot exec,
- you can do whatever you want. - Hey, who the * is in here?
Ooh, come on, grab a bike.
I can't go riding around the lot dressed like this.
Sure you can. Everyone will think we're doing a show.
Ah, okay.
But the bikes aren't ours.
That's what's so great. They're all over the lot.
Anyone can take them.
I can't believe we're doing this.
You got this. It's just like riding a bike.
Where the hell is my bike?
Come on, man.
I don't believe in labels.
Clay...
...can you please tell Bree about "Sin-berly"?
What?
It was episode eight of * Buddy Mountain,
- "Cucks Versus Sluts." - "Cucks Versus Sluts."
And Timberly's alliance was really falling apart.
- Falling apart, into shreds. - Oh, wait,
I should go back and tell you about-
- when the Conway sister showed up.
No, no, no. The point is, ahem,
- we suspect Timberly sees you as a threat,
What are you talking about?
Honey, last week you sabotaged her-
- and now you're giving her your jokes.
Timberly and I are friends.
She is a reality star.
She didn't come here to make friends.
My God, but it seemed so real.
Do you think that she was manipulating me this whole time?
I don't know for sure,
- but maybe some of those details would help.
Get out.
- What is this place? - Come on. You're gonna love this.
- Wow, this is amazing. - Right?
I've loved orchestras ever since I played a kid conductor.
Mini Maestro.
You were great in that.
You know, to prepare for that role, I watched a bunch of clips of Amadeus.
Can I help you?
Oh, it's okay. I'm an actor.
You guys sound great. Keep going.
That is what Clay and Reed said that you did on the reality show.
Everything on that show was scripted.
- The producers told us what to do. - Really?
Bree! It's reality TV. It's all fake.
I didn't know that.
They should put disclaimers on these shows-
- because this kind of mix-up must happen...
- ...I sound like an idiot. - You really do.
I mean, do I seem like the type of person-
- that would ride around on a snowmobile topless?
Sort of.
Okay. That was insane.
- Wanna see a giant spaceship? - Seriously, there's a giant spaceship?
Elaine?
Daniel. Hello.
Having fun?
Yes. No.
Zack was just showing me around the lot.
Zack Jackson, this is Daniel Silva, my boss.
- Ouchie. - Hello, Zack.
It's great having you back on the show.
Great to be back, Dan the man.
I'm so embarrassed right now.
I don't usually...
Obviously this is not how I typically dress.
I am so sorry.
I'm just glad to see you out having a little fun.
You work so much,
- you were starting to freak the whole team out.
- Oh. - I guess it's true.
Every time we cancel a show,
- a junior executive gets their wings.
I can't believe that just happened.
See, it's TV. Things always work out.
Really, Bob? Sunscreen?
It's a 40-second walk to the stage.
My father had a melanoma.
I can't risk it.
Janae, honey, can you get my neck?
I'm not touching your skin, Bob. I'd rather * off a hobo.
Oh my God, I'm spending way too much time with you people.
Look, Alan, isn't that the stage where we shot Bosom Buddies?
- Yeah, that was a fun show, huh? - Yeah.
Remember how we used to do coke in the writer's room?
What the hell happened to this business?
You openly did cocaine at work?
Oh yeah, we used to send the PA to pick it up.
I wonder whatever happened to him.
I think he's running Columbia TriStar.
So, how'd it go with your dad?
I didn't tell him. Don't shame me.
Honey, you are a fierce, grown-* woman.
What the hell is happening?
Why, why do I need to be the one that keeps sharing shit?
Huh? I don't have anything to prove.
I don't have to impress him.
Why do I have to come out?
He should be the one to come in.
Okay. Now you're spiraling, boo.
Oh my God. Stop lecturing me. You haven't come out to your dad.
Okay. It's hardly the same thing.
Your dad's friend got a blowjob from Paul Lynde.
Back in our town, my dad tried to ban dancing.
Woo-woo! That was awesome.
Oh, thanks for making my first actor meeting so easy.
Same. First business meeting.
You're really fun.
I don't think I've ever been called fun before.
Well, you definitely are, milady.
Oh, why thank you, my lord.
Hey, that's my * bike.
Oh, it's okay. I'm an actor.
Nah, I'ma tase your *.
Sorry!
Whatever happened to Bugles?
We used to have bowls of them.
Hey. Hi, um...
You old enough to remember Bugles?
Yeah, you put them on like witch nails.
Yes! Can we get some of those, please?
Anyway, um...
Have you ever seen the movie Footloose?
That the one with the girl dancing in the Catskills.
Hates Jerry Orbach?
No, that's Dirty Dancing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never cared for that one.
A little too Jew-y.
Okay. Just forget I brought that up.
That's not what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say...
Okay, everyone, time for run-through.
All right. Thank you, Dennis.
- Yeah. - This movie talk, can we,
- do we have to do it now, or can wait till after?
Just forget... Forget it. Not important.
- Forget it. - All right.
- Carrot, got a carrot. - Okay.
*in' Dennis.
- Yes, we're still seeing that bullshit. - Hey!
- Are you two...
- What, darling? - You made me look
- like an idiot. - The * we do?
You got in my head.
So, like an idiot, I go and I accuse Timberly-
- of all the things that you said that she did on her reality show.
And, guess what? Scripted!
- What? - Yeah.
Every major plot point.
- No way. - Yeah.
She brought out the outline-
- of the episode where she sleeps with Sarah R,
- and then she showed me pictures of her at Sarah R's wedding.
- Shut the * up. - I will not.
- The honey trampoline? - That is fake.
Timberly and the snowmobile?
- Fake. - Kim banging Brody?
- Fake. - The beaver hunt.
Fake.
I feel so manipulated.
How do you think I feel? You idiots.
Okay, here we go. And action.
That's my cue.
Hey, Cody.
Hello, Whitney.
Hey guys. Can I ask you a question?
Sure, buddy. Shoot.
My boss at work is really getting on my case,
- and I'm not sure what to do.
- What's his name? - Janet.
I was just trying to make sure no one was taking advantage of you.
You can't do this shit anymore.
We're not a couple.
You're not my protector.
You're right. I'm sorry.
It's, it's just hard for me to not care about you.
I'm a different person than I was 15 years ago.
I've been through a lot.
And it's made me stronger.
And for the first time in my life,
- I am taking care of myself without anyone's help,
- even if it means that I fall on my face.
But I am not going to, because I am focused,
- I am on top of things...
Bree, you missed your cue.
Shit. This is your fault.
I'm sorry, Jer! I'm sorry!
I didn't hear it.
Should I back it up or should I just come out?
- What? - Do you want me to come out now?
Just come out.
I'm sorry. I'm a...
...I should have said this earlier. And...
Look, I have no idea why this has been so hard for me to do,
- because I spent my entire life not needing your approval,
- and I still don't need your approval.
But you're my... you're my parent.
So you should know.
And I want you to know.
Honey.
I know.
- Wait, you do. - Yes.
I mean, ever since you were little.
I didn't know, but I knew.
Plus, dummy, when your film came out,
- you went on all those interviews-
- called yourself a queer filmmaker.
Wait, you read, like, the press and interviews?
Yes.
What? I can't be proud from a distance?
-