WEBVTT 00:00:18.950 --> 00:00:20.575 Oh, shit. 00:00:27.533 --> 00:00:29.741 Clay! Dougie Lewis. 00:00:29.741 --> 00:00:32.158 We used to have the same agent back in the day. 00:00:32.158 --> 00:00:34.241 Oh, yeah. Hey, Dougie, how you doin'? 00:00:34.241 --> 00:00:35.325 Well, not great, you know? 00:00:35.325 --> 00:00:38.075 Things have been a little... rough, to be honest. 00:00:38.075 --> 00:00:40.616 You know, I haven't booked a job since I posted that manifesto, 00:00:40.616 --> 00:00:43.783 - and a Ford Fusion is no place to live, so. 00:00:44.408 --> 00:00:45.408 - Yeah. - I can't believe they let you back- 00:00:45.408 --> 00:00:47.533 - on the lot after all that trouble you used to cause. 00:00:47.533 --> 00:00:50.616 - Ah, yeah, I had to sign a crazy strict morals clause. 00:00:50.616 --> 00:00:51.658 - Speaking of which... - Hey, you know what? 00:00:51.658 --> 00:00:53.658 I'm actually here auditioning for a couple lines- 00:00:53.658 --> 00:00:55.450 - on Chicago Hope: Miami. 00:00:55.450 --> 00:00:57.450 I don't know if you know anybody over there... 00:00:57.450 --> 00:01:01.158 - Oh, I really don't. I'm, uh... - That's why I got this suit, you know? 00:01:01.158 --> 00:01:02.908 The guy at the garage sale wanted 40 bucks. 00:01:02.908 --> 00:01:05.741 - I said, "I can't afford that." - Hey, Dougie, look. 00:01:05.741 --> 00:01:07.116 I'm sorry your life *s, 00:01:07.116 --> 00:01:08.866 - but I * someone I wasn't supposed to, 00:01:08.866 --> 00:01:11.366 - so I have to get to wardrobe right now. 00:01:11.366 --> 00:01:12.866 Okay. Roger that. 00:01:12.866 --> 00:01:14.700 - Yeah. - Break a leg. 00:01:15.533 --> 00:01:16.450 - So. - Oh! 00:01:16.950 --> 00:01:18.950 You and my mom, doin' the deed. 00:01:20.366 --> 00:01:22.866 Okay, if you need to hit me, go ahead. 00:01:22.866 --> 00:01:26.075 Just don't break my nose, my septum's hanging on by a thread. 00:01:26.075 --> 00:01:27.866 I'm not gonna hit you. 00:01:27.866 --> 00:01:32.158 I just wanna know, man to man, do you like my mom? 00:01:32.158 --> 00:01:33.866 Or do you like-like my mom? 00:01:33.908 --> 00:01:37.116 - but I don't feel comfortable talking to you about any of this. 00:01:37.116 --> 00:01:39.408 Cool... Cool. 00:01:40.700 --> 00:01:41.950 I was just worried- 00:01:41.950 --> 00:01:44.658 - 'cause if it was one of those "wham bam thank you, Mom" situations, 00:01:44.658 --> 00:01:46.491 - she does not handle that well. 00:01:46.491 --> 00:01:47.491 What do you mean? 00:01:47.491 --> 00:01:49.366 She was dating this guy and he was using her, 00:01:49.366 --> 00:01:52.533 - and she kinda smashed his windshield, and the neighbors had to call the police. 00:01:52.533 --> 00:01:55.533 Whoa! No, no, no. None of that here. No, no. 00:01:55.533 --> 00:01:56.575 Awesome! 00:01:56.866 --> 00:02:01.491 My real mom and my TV dad dating. Uh, dreams come true much? 00:02:08.366 --> 00:02:14.408 - 00:02:16.283 --> 00:02:18.908 Good morning. Morning, morning, morning. 00:02:20.533 --> 00:02:23.616 All right, let's get... Oh, hello, people I don't know. 00:02:23.616 --> 00:02:26.158 Hi, Gordon. Gordon, uh... Everyone, this is Gordon. 00:02:26.158 --> 00:02:28.575 He is the creator of the original show. 00:02:28.575 --> 00:02:31.241 Also, technically, my father. Uh, Gordon, new writers. 00:02:31.241 --> 00:02:33.325 Oh! Okay. Ah, good for us. 00:02:33.325 --> 00:02:37.033 This one of those... diversity intern training things? 00:02:37.033 --> 00:02:38.366 - Uh... - You know what? 00:02:38.366 --> 00:02:40.783 Personally, I think it's a shame you're not getting paid- 00:02:40.783 --> 00:02:43.075 - 'cause that's not right at all, but I will say this, 00:02:43.075 --> 00:02:45.908 - the lessons you're gonna learn, invaluable. 00:02:46.158 --> 00:02:47.158 Case in point: 00:02:47.158 --> 00:02:49.491 Misunderstandings, always funny. 00:02:49.491 --> 00:02:52.366 Example, guy's in a store and he's talking to a busty salesgirl... 00:02:52.366 --> 00:02:53.241 Okay, stop! 00:02:53.241 --> 00:02:54.783 No, Gordon, these are the writers- 00:02:54.783 --> 00:02:58.491 - that I hired for the show before you decided to- 00:02:58.491 --> 00:02:59.950 - join us. Yeah. - Oh. 00:02:59.950 --> 00:03:01.908 Janae comes from the Harvard Lampoon, 00:03:01.908 --> 00:03:04.158 - Benny is an amazing queer playwright, 00:03:04.158 --> 00:03:06.950 - and Azmina wrote an amazing spec script, 00:03:06.950 --> 00:03:09.241 - and fine, is also from the Disney diversity program. 00:03:09.241 --> 00:03:10.575 What, no Eskimos? 00:03:10.575 --> 00:03:11.700 Oh my god. 00:03:11.700 --> 00:03:12.616 Wow. 00:03:12.616 --> 00:03:13.908 Literal gasp. 00:03:13.908 --> 00:03:15.241 Uh-oh. What? Did I just step in it? 00:03:15.241 --> 00:03:17.658 Is... Is one of you part Eskimo? 00:03:17.658 --> 00:03:20.408 - No, that's not the problem. - All right, good, good. 00:03:20.408 --> 00:03:22.658 Hey, little fun fact. 00:03:22.658 --> 00:03:27.408 I happen to be Eskimo brothers with Don Johnson. 00:03:34.575 --> 00:03:35.783 Hey. 00:03:35.783 --> 00:03:38.325 - Uh, did you read the rewrite? - No, not yet. 00:03:38.325 --> 00:03:39.116 Yeah, they added a scene. 00:03:39.116 --> 00:03:41.158 I just, just wanted to make sure you're okay with it? 00:03:41.158 --> 00:03:42.741 Yeah, why wouldn't I be? 00:03:42.741 --> 00:03:45.991 Oh, uh, well, you know, just, um... given our history. 00:03:47.991 --> 00:03:49.366 You think that your mouth is a wormhole- 00:03:49.366 --> 00:03:51.491 - and I'm gonna fall right back into 2005? 00:03:51.491 --> 00:03:54.158 No, no! What? No, no, no, no, no. 00:03:54.158 --> 00:03:56.575 - Yeah, you do. I think you do. - Oh, I don't, I don't. I'm telling'... 00:03:56.575 --> 00:03:58.200 No, this is fine, this is great. 00:03:58.200 --> 00:03:59.741 - Okay. - This is great, Bree. 00:03:59.741 --> 00:04:03.366 You're fine, I'm fine, uh. 00:04:03.366 --> 00:04:06.075 Just worried about... oh, you know. 00:04:06.075 --> 00:04:07.575 What? 00:04:08.033 --> 00:04:09.658 You're going through a divorce right now. 00:04:10.575 --> 00:04:13.116 You might be feeling a little bit lonely and vulnerable, 00:04:13.116 --> 00:04:17.658 - which could, you know, lead to stirrings of old feelings. 00:04:17.658 --> 00:04:19.325 You are being so condescending right now... 00:04:19.325 --> 00:04:22.825 - No, no, honey, I'm not being condescending. - Yeah, you're doing it right now. 00:04:22.866 --> 00:04:26.283 - Bree, I am not being... - Still doing it. 00:04:27.491 --> 00:04:28.991 Still doing it. 00:04:31.866 --> 00:04:33.366 Lana! 00:04:34.200 --> 00:04:34.741 Oh, well, I guess I just got visited by the Spanx fairy then. 00:04:34.783 --> 00:04:37.075 Sweetie, it's Hollywood. 00:04:37.075 --> 00:04:40.325 There's not an actress over 40 raw dogging' it these days. 00:04:40.325 --> 00:04:43.533 - Charming. - Just be careful wearing them on a date. 00:04:43.533 --> 00:04:44.741 When a man undresses you, 00:04:44.741 --> 00:04:47.783 - you expand like one of those mattresses in a box. 00:04:47.783 --> 00:04:50.241 Well, I haven't had to worry about that in a while. 00:04:50.241 --> 00:04:53.325 Why? Oh, sorry. Couldn't help but overhear. 00:04:53.325 --> 00:04:56.241 Because I haven't been on a first date in 15 years. 00:04:56.866 --> 00:04:58.741 That's since I was six years old. 00:04:58.741 --> 00:05:01.158 Why is everyone trying to hurt me today? 00:05:01.158 --> 00:05:02.575 Okay, look, we gotta fix this, 00:05:02.575 --> 00:05:06.325 - take you out, help you meet some hot zaddies. 00:05:06.325 --> 00:05:07.658 What are you doing tomorrow night? 00:05:07.658 --> 00:05:10.325 I can't, I am so behind on Cupcake Wars. 00:05:11.325 --> 00:05:13.075 I just heard myself. Where do you wanna go? 00:05:13.075 --> 00:05:15.700 Let's get some dinner and then go someplace fun. 00:05:15.700 --> 00:05:17.200 What do you wanna eat: Sushi or Mexican? 00:05:17.200 --> 00:05:19.700 - Mexican. - I'd go for sushi. 00:05:19.700 --> 00:05:22.950 - * off, Lana! - Ooh, somebody's hangry. 00:05:25.241 --> 00:05:26.741 - Shorter? - Yeah. 00:05:32.991 --> 00:05:35.325 - There's my guy. - Oh god. 00:05:35.325 --> 00:05:37.075 Got a hot little tip for ya. 00:05:37.075 --> 00:05:39.241 You know that special lady you've been crushing' on? 00:05:39.241 --> 00:05:42.033 - You mean, your mom? - It's her birthday Saturday. 00:05:42.033 --> 00:05:45.325 I scored us a res at the O-G, Olive Garden. 00:05:45.325 --> 00:05:47.241 Let's just say if you were to show up at the table- 00:05:47.241 --> 00:05:49.700 - with the never-ending breadsticks, she would not be mad. 00:05:49.700 --> 00:05:52.575 Oh, hell yes. As long as it's not Saturday, I'm in. 00:05:52.575 --> 00:05:54.616 Oh, I just said it was Saturday. 00:05:56.075 --> 00:05:57.658 Oh, what about brunch on Sunday? 00:05:58.950 --> 00:06:03.700 We need to find a way to bring Whitney and Josie closer. 00:06:03.700 --> 00:06:08.491 Okay. What if... there's a, a hot delivery guy- 00:06:08.491 --> 00:06:11.908 - and both girls are ordering all this stuff they don't even want- 00:06:11.908 --> 00:06:13.200 - just so they can see the guy. 00:06:13.200 --> 00:06:15.908 And then on the way out, there's, like, a big box, 00:06:15.908 --> 00:06:17.950 - he trips over the box- 00:06:17.950 --> 00:06:21.950 - 'cause hot plus clumsy, always funny. 00:06:21.950 --> 00:06:23.075 - Right? - Yeah, so, in real life, 00:06:23.075 --> 00:06:25.533 - people don't just magically trip over things- 00:06:25.533 --> 00:06:27.325 - the exact moment you need them to. 00:06:27.325 --> 00:06:28.825 They can if you write that. 00:06:28.825 --> 00:06:30.450 I wanna do something less sitcom-y, 00:06:30.450 --> 00:06:33.741 - or, you know, at least something that passes the Bechdel test. 00:06:33.741 --> 00:06:35.408 What? 00:06:35.450 --> 00:06:38.700 Something that passes the Bechdel test. 00:06:38.700 --> 00:06:42.450 No, I heard her... I just don't know what the * that is. 00:06:42.741 --> 00:06:45.450 - Guys, let's go easy on him. - He's old. 00:06:45.450 --> 00:06:47.241 I heard that, too, Carrot Top. 00:06:47.241 --> 00:06:49.533 Or Carrot Bottom, I don't wanna make assumptions. 00:06:49.575 --> 00:06:50.825 To pass the Bechdel test, 00:06:50.825 --> 00:06:53.450 - the script must have at least one exchange between two women- 00:06:53.450 --> 00:06:55.450 - where they're not talking about a man. 00:06:56.283 --> 00:06:58.325 Is she still talking'? 'Cause I dozed off. 00:06:59.241 --> 00:07:01.533 This is probably too meta, but... 00:07:01.533 --> 00:07:02.575 Oh my god. 00:07:02.575 --> 00:07:05.033 This is exciting, she's got somethin' here. 00:07:05.033 --> 00:07:09.241 What if they bond by talking about Alison Bechdel? 00:07:09.241 --> 00:07:11.741 That's hilarious. 00:07:11.741 --> 00:07:15.200 - Oh, I like that. - All right, I, I also get why it's funny. 00:07:15.200 --> 00:07:16.950 Um, can I speak to you for a second outside? 00:07:16.950 --> 00:07:18.450 Yeah. 00:07:19.075 --> 00:07:20.575 What's the problem? 00:07:20.783 --> 00:07:23.783 I was under the impression we're still making' a comedy. 00:07:23.783 --> 00:07:27.658 Oh my god, just because they're not pitching, like, old-timey jokes- 00:07:27.658 --> 00:07:30.950 - doesn't m... - No, no, no. They're not pitching jokes period. 00:07:30.950 --> 00:07:33.450 So, comedy's evolved since you last wrote for television. 00:07:33.450 --> 00:07:35.325 I mean, honestly, whole species have evolved. 00:07:35.325 --> 00:07:37.366 Listen, we don't schlep in a live audience every week- 00:07:37.366 --> 00:07:40.325 - so they can sit there and nod in thoughtful amusement. 00:07:40.325 --> 00:07:42.033 We need them to actually laugh. 00:07:42.033 --> 00:07:44.908 Yeah, I get it, and trust me, these writers are very funny. 00:07:44.908 --> 00:07:46.533 I... 00:07:46.533 --> 00:07:47.991 The bathroom is that way? 00:07:47.991 --> 00:07:51.325 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, A-Azmina. 00:07:51.325 --> 00:07:52.700 Funniest food? 00:07:52.700 --> 00:07:56.325 Uh, I don't know. Uh, oatmeal. 00:07:58.200 --> 00:08:00.866 Oatmeal... Aren't you embarrassed? 00:08:00.866 --> 00:08:02.533 It's pickles. 00:08:02.533 --> 00:08:04.033 Pickles? 00:08:10.033 --> 00:08:13.283 Right, so, uh, where did we leave off yesterday? 00:08:13.283 --> 00:08:16.241 Gordon pitched that Caitlyn Jenner joke and then you threw an orange at him. 00:08:16.241 --> 00:08:18.741 - It was a tangelo. - Yeah, that's the important part. 00:08:18.741 --> 00:08:20.991 Okay, right. I mean, uh, before that. 00:08:20.991 --> 00:08:24.866 Uh, we talked about the fight you and your dad had in the kitchen. 00:08:24.866 --> 00:08:27.366 And a lot of other fights you two have had. 00:08:27.366 --> 00:08:30.491 And then we watched an episode of Yellowjackets. 00:08:30.491 --> 00:08:34.491 I will admit I was a bit... thrown yesterday, 00:08:34.491 --> 00:08:35.491 - but, today, we are... 00:08:35.491 --> 00:08:36.450 Good news, everyone. 00:08:36.450 --> 00:08:38.908 The comedy cavalry has arrived. 00:08:38.908 --> 00:08:42.075 Good morning! Delivery from Jews 'R' Us. 00:08:42.075 --> 00:08:45.116 Sorry we're late, we've been wandering in Palm Desert for 40 years. 00:08:45.116 --> 00:08:46.408 Ignore these old *s. 00:08:46.408 --> 00:08:47.700 They saw some actress out there- 00:08:47.700 --> 00:08:49.908 - and they got their first hard-ons in 20 years. 00:08:49.908 --> 00:08:51.825 Let me introduce everybody. 00:08:51.825 --> 00:08:54.200 This is Alan, Bob, Selma. 00:08:54.200 --> 00:08:57.116 Say hello to Benny, Janae, and Azmina. 00:08:57.575 --> 00:09:00.408 Azmina... I think I take that for my gout. 00:09:00.408 --> 00:09:03.491 Azmina, that's a Spanish name, if I'm not mistaken. 00:09:03.491 --> 00:09:05.700 - Sorta. - My first wife was Latin. 00:09:05.700 --> 00:09:08.158 Case you ever wonder why I'm scared of you. 00:09:10.450 --> 00:09:11.950 Uh, kitchen? 00:09:11.950 --> 00:09:13.783 All righty. 00:09:15.741 --> 00:09:17.366 They're exactly what we need. 00:09:17.366 --> 00:09:19.533 Oh, well, then I'm shocked they were available at a moment's notice. 00:09:19.533 --> 00:09:21.366 Did you find them feeding birds in the park? 00:09:21.366 --> 00:09:22.450 They're funny. 00:09:22.450 --> 00:09:24.325 Every single one of those writers- 00:09:24.325 --> 00:09:26.950 - has been making sitcoms since before you were born. 00:09:26.950 --> 00:09:28.825 That's not a point in their favor. 00:09:28.825 --> 00:09:31.283 We don't need a bunch of dinosaurs in the writers' room. 00:09:31.283 --> 00:09:32.200 So funny you say that, 00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:34.783 - Alan ran the last two seasons of Dinosaurs on ABC. 00:09:34.783 --> 00:09:38.366 Yeah, again, "wrote for giant puppets" is not the mic drop you think it is. 00:09:38.366 --> 00:09:41.325 Trust me, when it's late and we're tired, 00:09:41.325 --> 00:09:43.866 - and we're stuck on that last page of a rewrite, 00:09:43.866 --> 00:09:45.408 - you are gonna want pros like them. 00:09:45.408 --> 00:09:48.075 They can come up with a joke that gets ya home every time. 00:09:48.075 --> 00:09:49.075 They're legends. 00:09:49.116 --> 00:09:51.075 And they're hipper than you think. 00:09:52.408 --> 00:09:54.283 - Hey. - Nice kids, 00:09:54.283 --> 00:09:57.908 - but Selma had this great * joke, went over like a fart in schule. 00:09:58.616 --> 00:10:00.741 Also, uh, where can I find a fax machine? 00:10:02.658 --> 00:10:04.950 Oh, hold up. We gotta meet the Queen Bree. 00:10:05.366 --> 00:10:08.158 Queen Bree Marie Jensen, and she's single. 00:10:08.158 --> 00:10:10.700 Can we, um, can we just tape this later- 00:10:10.700 --> 00:10:12.450 - because, honestly, I'm feeling really gross right now, 00:10:12.450 --> 00:10:13.325 - and according to wardrobe, 00:10:13.325 --> 00:10:14.658 - I look like a cow if I'm not wearing Spanx. 00:10:14.658 --> 00:10:15.033 How hilarious is she? 00:10:15.325 --> 00:10:18.366 Hey, Bree... Uh, Reed, a moment. 00:10:19.450 --> 00:10:24.200 I just came from a bullshit meeting at HR about what happened yesterday. 00:10:24.200 --> 00:10:24.825 What happened yesterday? 00:10:24.825 --> 00:10:26.616 Apparently, that's against company policy. 00:10:26.616 --> 00:10:28.366 Oh my god, there was a meeting? 00:10:28.366 --> 00:10:30.408 Oh my god, this is the greatest thing ever. 00:10:30.408 --> 00:10:33.783 I'm supposed to make you feel comfortable because, 00:10:35.533 --> 00:10:38.491 "We must all work together for a better tomorrow. 00:10:38.491 --> 00:10:40.991 Walt Disney, where dreams come true." 00:10:40.991 --> 00:10:42.158 - All right, great... - Just to be clear, 00:10:42.158 --> 00:10:43.825 No, this is about Reed. 00:10:43.866 --> 00:10:45.783 None of the executives made fun of you. 00:10:45.783 --> 00:10:49.783 Okay, the only reason this happened is because I was reacting in character, 00:10:49.783 --> 00:10:52.658 - as Lawrence, who was being aroused by his wife, Josie. 00:10:52.658 --> 00:10:54.075 No, I don't think that's what it is. 00:10:54.075 --> 00:10:56.825 What I think happened is that you're confused because of our history- 00:10:56.825 --> 00:10:58.200 - and I think you still have feelings for me. 00:10:58.200 --> 00:11:02.825 I do not still have feelings for you. I am in a committed relationship. 00:11:02.825 --> 00:11:06.700 Right, with Nora, who's a real person in New York City. 00:11:06.700 --> 00:11:08.450 Okay, you know what? Thank you so very much, Jerry, 00:11:08.450 --> 00:11:11.075 - for bringing' this to my attention and reading this document. 00:11:11.075 --> 00:11:12.116 I have had enough. 00:11:12.116 --> 00:11:14.658 Oh, no, there's, there's somethin' else. 00:11:14.658 --> 00:11:17.575 Uh, Dennis, where's the thing and the thing? 00:11:17.575 --> 00:11:19.783 - Here you go. - Wh-What are we doin' now? 00:11:19.783 --> 00:11:22.450 This is called a vajoga. 00:11:23.700 --> 00:11:24.408 - as a protective barrier. 00:11:24.408 --> 00:11:30.075 Um, Jerry, I don't think you are aware of just how hard Reed was yesterday. 00:11:30.075 --> 00:11:32.200 I don't think that's gonna be enough protection. 00:11:32.200 --> 00:11:33.075 Please kill me. 00:11:33.075 --> 00:11:35.325 There's also this modesty sock. 00:11:35.325 --> 00:11:36.533 Tell me more. 00:11:36.533 --> 00:11:40.200 Well, you lace it around your member- 00:11:40.200 --> 00:11:43.825 - and pull on the strap until you achieve a snug fit. 00:11:45.866 --> 00:11:48.158 This is fun. 00:11:48.158 --> 00:11:50.575 Well, I won't need a vajoga, and I won't need a sock- 00:11:50.575 --> 00:11:53.616 - because after today, I may never get hard again. 00:12:00.491 --> 00:12:03.908 Reed! Hey! Can I hide in your trailer? 00:12:03.908 --> 00:12:05.575 Is this Zack's mom again? 00:12:05.575 --> 00:12:07.825 Yeah, he found out, but he's not even pissed at me, 00:12:07.825 --> 00:12:11.158 - and now that everyone's okay with it, uch, it just feels wrong. 00:12:11.158 --> 00:12:13.491 So break it off with her. 00:12:13.491 --> 00:12:17.200 Well... Zack told me she busted out some dude's windshield- 00:12:17.200 --> 00:12:20.825 - for trying to cut and run, and I can't afford that kind of trouble. 00:12:21.450 --> 00:12:24.825 Now we have to rehearse the scene... What if it happens again? 00:12:24.825 --> 00:12:27.950 Just be a professional and go crank your hog first. 00:12:27.950 --> 00:12:31.075 I'm not gonna pleasure myself at work, Clay. 00:12:31.450 --> 00:12:33.325 That's practically all I do. 00:12:33.325 --> 00:12:35.741 Why do you think I never know my lines? 00:12:38.325 --> 00:12:41.533 Okay, it's, uh, 3:00- 00:12:41.533 --> 00:12:44.866 - and we are still in the A scene. 00:12:44.866 --> 00:12:49.241 That's because it took you guys an hour to decide where to get lunch. 00:12:49.241 --> 00:12:51.533 And then an hour to complain about the lunch once it got here. 00:12:51.533 --> 00:12:53.533 That meatloaf is, is still not sitting well with me. 00:12:53.533 --> 00:12:56.241 - Oh my god. - Oh, what, what organ is-is right here? 00:12:56.241 --> 00:12:57.325 Please don't die. 00:12:57.325 --> 00:12:59.491 Then I'd be the schlockiest writer alive. 00:12:59.491 --> 00:13:00.866 What about Murray Klein? 00:13:00.866 --> 00:13:04.366 Murray Klein died on a sound stage just like all his pictures. 00:13:04.366 --> 00:13:06.075 He should rest in peace. 00:13:06.075 --> 00:13:08.700 Terrible writer, but a fantastic lay. 00:13:08.700 --> 00:13:11.450 Oh, sweet Jesus. Okay, can we, can we please get back to the story? 00:13:11.450 --> 00:13:12.116 All right. 00:13:12.408 --> 00:13:14.616 Cody is broke, why is he broke? 00:13:14.616 --> 00:13:16.158 Crippling student loans. 00:13:16.158 --> 00:13:17.783 Inflation. Gas prices. 00:13:17.783 --> 00:13:22.033 He, He lost his job because he falls asleep whenever he hears a bell. 00:13:23.450 --> 00:13:24.491 What? 00:13:24.491 --> 00:13:27.033 What do you mean "what?" Obviously, he's been hypnotized. 00:13:27.033 --> 00:13:27.908 Thank you. 00:13:27.908 --> 00:13:29.158 When I was on the Lampoon... 00:13:29.158 --> 00:13:30.450 Okay, that's four. 00:13:30.450 --> 00:13:31.575 I count five. 00:13:31.950 --> 00:13:34.866 What, what about, um, crypto or an NFT? 00:13:34.866 --> 00:13:36.950 What the hell is an NFT? 00:13:36.950 --> 00:13:39.408 What if Cody loses his shirt playing' the ponies? 00:13:39.408 --> 00:13:43.075 So, he's addicted to gambling and he supports animal abuse. 00:13:43.075 --> 00:13:45.283 I thought * people were supposed to be fun. 00:13:48.366 --> 00:13:51.533 I'm gonna order you some of those boxer briefs in fun colors. 00:13:51.533 --> 00:13:53.241 Ooh, thank you. 00:13:53.241 --> 00:13:55.950 I like it 'cause you don't see a panty line on TV. 00:13:55.950 --> 00:13:57.741 Yeah. 00:13:58.033 --> 00:14:00.825 Hey, guys. We got a little situation here. 00:14:01.241 --> 00:14:03.658 This dude's from corporate HR. 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:07.408 Hi, I'm, uh, Tony Fingerton. 00:14:07.408 --> 00:14:09.741 Well, hello, Mr. Fingerton. 00:14:09.741 --> 00:14:12.575 May I offer you some grapes or a Go-Gurt? 00:14:12.575 --> 00:14:14.991 Oh, yeah, uh, sure. Uh, both would be... 00:14:14.991 --> 00:14:17.408 No. We're not gonna give this creep anything. 00:14:17.408 --> 00:14:19.408 Wait 'til you hear what he has to say. 00:14:20.075 --> 00:14:21.075 Fine. 00:14:21.533 --> 00:14:26.533 Uh, uh, we've, uh, received word of, um, unreported on-set romance, 00:14:26.533 --> 00:14:28.533 - which goes against, um, 00:14:29.283 --> 00:14:33.241 - s... uh, section four of the employee conduct handbook. 00:14:33.491 --> 00:14:34.908 But she's not even an employee. 00:14:34.908 --> 00:14:37.616 - W... Uh, well, um... - That's what I said, 00:14:37.616 --> 00:14:40.325 - but he said it's a problem because you were a minor- 00:14:40.325 --> 00:14:41.825 - when your mom and I originally met. 00:14:41.825 --> 00:14:45.116 Correct. I-I-I'm sorry, but if you don't end the relationship, 00:14:45.116 --> 00:14:47.866 - we will find Mr. Barber in violation of his contract- 00:14:47.866 --> 00:14:50.158 - and he will be terminated immediately. 00:14:50.533 --> 00:14:52.991 - Oh my. - What?! That's B.S.! 00:14:52.991 --> 00:14:54.575 Language. 00:14:54.575 --> 00:14:56.408 Aw, man, bro. 00:14:57.741 --> 00:15:00.158 You've got a tough decision to make. 00:15:06.075 --> 00:15:07.075 Hello. 00:15:07.075 --> 00:15:10.283 Look, I am so upset about this whole HR situation, 00:15:10.283 --> 00:15:12.241 - but you know the rules... - Stop it. 00:15:12.283 --> 00:15:16.991 I knew the whole thing was fake the minute "Mr. Fingerton" opened his mouth. 00:15:16.991 --> 00:15:19.408 - What? - Clay. 00:15:19.408 --> 00:15:22.658 - Okay, Susan, hold on. Don't get mad. I... - I'm not mad, 00:15:22.658 --> 00:15:25.533 - but I am very disappointed. 00:15:25.533 --> 00:15:27.450 Oh my god, that's so much worse. 00:15:27.991 --> 00:15:29.616 Look, it's not what you think. I can explain, 00:15:29.616 --> 00:15:32.366 - so there's no reason to start freaking' out and smashing windshields... 00:15:32.366 --> 00:15:33.866 What?! 00:15:34.075 --> 00:15:35.950 Wait, is that what Zack told you? 00:15:37.366 --> 00:15:38.908 Oh, I see what's happening here. 00:15:38.908 --> 00:15:42.075 Can I be vulgar for a moment? 00:15:42.075 --> 00:15:42.825 You're asking' me? 00:15:43.575 --> 00:15:45.408 Take care of yourself, Clayton. 00:15:47.783 --> 00:15:49.283 But not too well. 00:15:56.200 --> 00:15:57.825 She's a heck of a woman. 00:15:59.616 --> 00:16:02.200 I probably would've chosen my career, too. 00:16:02.200 --> 00:16:03.991 Well, it was neck and neck. 00:16:03.991 --> 00:16:05.991 Thanks for being so cool to my mom. 00:16:06.825 --> 00:16:07.908 It was great seeing her happy. 00:16:07.908 --> 00:16:09.616 Well, she's a nice lady. 00:16:09.950 --> 00:16:11.950 At least you're still my TV dad. 00:16:13.658 --> 00:16:17.658 Yeah, well... see ya tomorrow. 00:16:17.991 --> 00:16:19.491 Good night. 00:16:23.741 --> 00:16:26.283 Look. Hey, I'm going' to get a hamburger after this, 00:16:26.283 --> 00:16:28.908 - so if you wanna... - Seriously? 00:16:29.533 --> 00:16:31.616 - Shotgun! - Hey, calm down, separate cars. 00:16:31.616 --> 00:16:33.116 Right. 00:16:33.575 --> 00:16:35.075 Race ya! 00:16:35.575 --> 00:16:40.450 I can't believe I cried in front of everybody like that today. 00:16:40.450 --> 00:16:42.325 - Can I ask you something? - Mm-hm. 00:16:42.325 --> 00:16:44.033 Why did you and Reed break up? 00:16:44.033 --> 00:16:48.491 Oh, we made each other crazy. In the good way and the bad way. 00:16:48.491 --> 00:16:52.908 It was just too intense to last. Totally the opposite with my ex-husband. 00:16:53.241 --> 00:16:55.200 Maybe that's why you ran off with him. 00:16:55.241 --> 00:16:58.408 Yeah, I might have over-corrected. 00:16:58.408 --> 00:16:59.908 So, today? 00:17:00.200 --> 00:17:03.741 I think kissing Reed... took me back to the years- 00:17:03.741 --> 00:17:08.408 - when someone made me feel *y... and loved. 00:17:08.408 --> 00:17:12.116 And I got overwhelmed with how long it's been. 00:17:12.116 --> 00:17:15.075 Well, not having that in your marriage must've been awful. 00:17:15.533 --> 00:17:19.366 It, It was good in the beginning. Anders and I had a lot of nice times. 00:17:19.366 --> 00:17:23.491 I got to wear a crown, they named an iceberg after me. 00:17:24.575 --> 00:17:26.575 Wait, were they calling me cold? 00:17:27.283 --> 00:17:28.366 - Well... - What? 00:17:28.366 --> 00:17:29.575 ...if it makes you feel any better, 00:17:29.575 --> 00:17:31.408 - half of the guys on the crew wanna bang you. 00:17:31.408 --> 00:17:34.241 Oh my god! No, they don't. 00:17:34.241 --> 00:17:35.908 - Do they? - Yeah. 00:17:35.950 --> 00:17:37.991 Even the cute grip who looks like Jesus? 00:17:37.991 --> 00:17:40.700 You are an 11 out of 10. 00:17:40.700 --> 00:17:42.366 If you were feeling yourself, you could take anybody- 00:17:42.366 --> 00:17:44.408 - in this bar home tonight. 00:17:44.408 --> 00:17:47.575 I think that is what you need to get yourself right again. 00:17:48.116 --> 00:17:49.658 - Maybe you're right. - Mm-hm. 00:17:49.658 --> 00:17:54.033 - Maybe I need to have hot, crazy, meaningless * with a stranger... - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 00:17:54.033 --> 00:17:56.866 - ...no strings attached... - Hello, ladies. 00:17:56.866 --> 00:17:58.700 - Couldn't help overhearing... - Nope. 00:17:58.700 --> 00:18:00.200 O-kay. 00:18:13.491 --> 00:18:14.950 Can you not do that, please? 00:18:14.950 --> 00:18:16.241 You want me to throw 'em on the floor? 00:18:16.241 --> 00:18:18.116 That's where your nuts usually are. 00:18:18.200 --> 00:18:20.991 I don't love how much you talk about Alan's genitals. 00:18:20.991 --> 00:18:23.033 I'm sorry. Low-hanging' fruit. 00:18:23.033 --> 00:18:24.241 How does she do it? 00:18:24.241 --> 00:18:26.033 Okay, can we please get back to the story? 00:18:26.033 --> 00:18:29.075 Okay? Anybody, Josie and Whitney? 00:18:29.075 --> 00:18:30.658 All right, Josie and Whitney. 00:18:32.366 --> 00:18:35.741 Were we too quick to dismiss the hot, clumsy delivery guy? 00:18:35.741 --> 00:18:37.950 - No. - No. You've got to stop pitching that. 00:18:37.950 --> 00:18:40.575 - I'm telling you, it'd work. - It's too sitcom-y. 00:18:40.575 --> 00:18:42.366 - It's funny. - None of us laughed. 00:18:42.366 --> 00:18:45.366 You know, between us, we have 150 years in this business- 00:18:45.366 --> 00:18:48.491 - and you guys haven't laughed at anything coming from this side of the table. 00:18:48.491 --> 00:18:51.075 I don't know, I laughed at some of the sounds coming out of Alan. 00:18:51.075 --> 00:18:53.825 Story of my life. I love onions, they don't love me. 00:18:53.825 --> 00:18:56.825 I'm telling you, it could be symptoms of something serious. 00:18:56.825 --> 00:18:59.658 Uh, I'm sorry, I, I just think some of the jokes- 00:18:59.700 --> 00:19:03.283 - you guys tell are a, a little c-corny. 00:19:03.283 --> 00:19:05.741 Yeah, and a lot of them are wildly offensive. 00:19:05.741 --> 00:19:08.116 They're like the ones my memaw tells at Thanksgiving. 00:19:08.116 --> 00:19:10.741 She sounds funny. Does she have a... 00:19:10.741 --> 00:19:12.408 Okay, yeah, I'm gonna just state the obvious. 00:19:12.408 --> 00:19:15.075 So, we're coming from two entirely different planets here. 00:19:15.075 --> 00:19:18.658 Listen, sometimes it takes a while for a room to come together. 00:19:18.658 --> 00:19:20.283 We're never gonna come together. 00:19:20.283 --> 00:19:22.116 Selma! Don't even. 00:19:22.366 --> 00:19:24.200 Gimme four dildos and a metronome. 00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:26.450 You are a broken woman. 00:19:26.450 --> 00:19:29.866 Gordon, your writers and my writers have nothing in common. 00:19:29.866 --> 00:19:31.908 So, don't you think that says something about us? 00:19:31.908 --> 00:19:34.700 Says I know how to hire writers, nothing personal. 00:19:34.700 --> 00:19:36.075 Seems personal. 00:19:36.075 --> 00:19:39.491 You know... we've barely spoken for the last 25 years, 00:19:39.491 --> 00:19:42.575 - so I think we were * crazy to think this could work. 00:19:42.575 --> 00:19:44.866 Maybe this is not the place for that conversation. 00:19:44.866 --> 00:19:48.866 Or maybe there's just nothing left to discuss... Yeah. 00:19:50.825 --> 00:19:53.033 - Where you going? - Guys, I'm, I-I'm really sorry 00:19:53.033 --> 00:19:54.575 I dragged you all into this, truly I am. 00:19:54.575 --> 00:19:56.116 Gordon, you know what? You said this is your show, 00:19:56.116 --> 00:19:57.616 - so do it your way. 00:19:57.991 --> 00:19:59.616 - What, you're quitting? - Not much use in a room- 00:19:59.616 --> 00:20:03.200 - full of people who can't agree on a single goddamn thing that's funny. 00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:06.033 Ah! Ow, * me. 00:20:09.158 --> 00:20:12.033 Don't laugh, you guys are *. 00:20:12.033 --> 00:20:14.950 - Oh, my baby, are you okay? - No. 00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:17.200 I'm talking to the garbage can. 00:20:20.825 --> 00:20:24.075 I don't know why I'm laughing? I'm in so much pain. 00:20:24.075 --> 00:20:25.325 Wait, wait, wait! 00:20:25.325 --> 00:20:27.866 Josie should eat it like that in the kitchen scene. 00:20:27.866 --> 00:20:29.075 - Ooh, absolutely! - Yeah! 00:20:29.075 --> 00:20:32.616 Especially if she just finished giving some big, melodramatic speech. 00:20:32.616 --> 00:20:34.450 And then she trips over an extension cord- 00:20:34.450 --> 00:20:38.158 - 'cause Cody's got his computer plugged in and he's working' on one of those NFTs. 00:20:38.158 --> 00:20:40.200 - Okay, Alan, I see you. - Yes! 00:20:40.200 --> 00:20:43.158 I still don't know what it is, but I like that somebody's falling. 00:20:43.158 --> 00:20:47.158 - Falling is always funny. - Yes. Falling's funny. 00:20:50.783 --> 00:20:51.616 All right. 00:20:51.616 --> 00:20:55.408 Well, uh, we should probably order some dinner. 00:20:55.408 --> 00:20:57.491 Yes, how 'bout a nice deli platter from Nate 'n Al's? 00:20:57.491 --> 00:20:59.741 - Ooh. - I do like their salami. 00:20:59.741 --> 00:21:03.658 - I bet you do, you old *. - You are fun. 00:21:03.658 --> 00:21:06.700 You know about salami, huh? 00:21:17.866 --> 00:21:19.366 - Hello? - Hey. 00:21:19.741 --> 00:21:23.950 I tried to catch up with you today, but they said that you took off. 00:21:24.700 --> 00:21:29.158 Just, uh, wanted to check in in a, in a totally non-condescending way. 00:21:29.158 --> 00:21:32.408 I'm doing better, thanks. 00:21:32.408 --> 00:21:34.241 Good... Very good. 00:21:34.908 --> 00:21:38.908 I also wanted to, uh, let you know that you were right. 00:21:39.575 --> 00:21:43.658 Um... deep down, I was worried about, 00:21:43.658 --> 00:21:46.283 - you know, whether I was gonna feel that old spark again- 00:21:46.325 --> 00:21:48.241 - ever since I heard the show was coming back, 00:21:48.241 --> 00:21:50.658 - and, obviously, I still felt it, 00:21:50.658 --> 00:21:54.700 - and... uh, you literally did as well. 00:21:54.700 --> 00:22:00.325 But I... just, uh, I just, uh, had a sense today that, 00:22:00.325 --> 00:22:03.116 - uh, maybe you felt something too. 00:22:03.116 --> 00:22:05.325 So, you know, if you wanted to talk about it. 00:22:05.325 --> 00:22:06.200 You know what? 00:22:06.658 --> 00:22:07.991 I appreciate you saying that, 00:22:07.991 --> 00:22:10.408 - but I'm actually in a really good place right now. 00:22:12.325 --> 00:22:13.158 Okay. 00:22:13.741 --> 00:22:15.241 Glad to hear it. 00:22:15.700 --> 00:22:17.700 Yeah... Good night, Reed. 00:22:19.533 --> 00:22:21.033 Good night? 00:22:28.033 --> 00:22:29.075 No! 00:22:29.450 --> 00:22:33.950 - 00:22:34.075 --> 00:22:39.075 -