I'm Jimmy DiResta, and I'm a maker.
That's a hip way of saying I make things… like this.
Pretty cool, right?
Walk with me.
For years, I made my name as a toy designer in New York City.
Then I realized I don't like the city, I don't like designing toys,
and to be honest with you, I don't really like kids.
It's not like I hate them or anything.
It's just it's, "Check out my little Timmy."
I don't care.
Look at my birds.
So anyway, I quit my job,
I left the city, and I moved upstate to here, my farm.
I got land, I got animals,
and best of all I have this.
The ultimate maker workshop!
Inside, I have every kind of tool and machine imaginable to make things.
Pretty impressive stuff, huh?
Really? You're labeling the table like that's some sort of impress--
"Bag"? We can just--
Okay. Graphics guy trying to be funny.
Can we please get on with it? Anyway…
So I got a call to be on a TV show 'cause I'm a maker celebrity or whatever.
I said, "Sure. Cool." Why not, right?
So I agreed.
Then I found out who I'd be working for.
Jimmy!
-Hi. -Hi!
Jimmy!
Hey, Jimmy.
What do you want?
Okay, Mr. Grouch.
Thirty years of expert build experience, and I'm taking orders from half-pints.
Because misery loves company, I brought my buddies in on it with me.
Say hi, guys.
-Howdy! -Hello!
That's Jackman. He's an engineer, and he plans everything.
It's really annoying, but he's good at it.
That's Derek, my best friend.
Big guy and even bigger softie.
This is Graz.
Good maker, bad jokes.
And Canadian Pat.
Well, your guess is as good as mine.
Let's have some fun.
Together, we'll take pitches on this.
Listen to whatever their dumb little brains can come up with.
The Pig Tripper. It trips the pig.
-Wow. -So a catapult that throws cat poop?
-Yes.
If it's interesting or doable, I'll build it. If not--
Next!
-Next! -No way.
-Next! -Shut up!
-Some builds will be good.
Dino Taco Toilet.
Are you not entertained?
Some builds will be bad.
Graz, I told you the scissors were gonna be too heavy!
Make a bigger handle!
But all of them will be absolutely pointless.
-Yeah! -That is disgusting.
Whoa!
-I want the unicorn to fart! -I can't believe I'm doing this.
-Go, Graz!
Why are we doing this? Because we make things. That's what we do.
-Thought we weren't supposed to have fun. -I'm not having fun!
We're gonna show these kids, if they can dream it up…
I want it to be a guitar boat that floats.
You're onto something there.
…it can be built.
Oh!
That is so cool!
Hey, it might even inspire them to build
outside their little Minecraft -y world, or whatever.
-Do I wanna do it?
Dumbest thing we've ever made.
Not really. But this isn't about me, is it?
-So here we are. -You better get to work!
Funny how their dreams are my nightmare.
Come on, Jimmy. Have some fun.
Whatever.
Good morning!
-Morning! -What's up?
You guys ready? Come on up. We got some kids to meet.
-So let's see what we got. -Here we go.
-Hey, guys, can you hear me? -Yes.
-What's going on with you, buddy?
From the young lady first, what's your name?
My name is Kenzie.
My name is Wyatt.
I'm Keifer.
Kenzie, Wyatt, and…
Are you guys using a potato as a microphone?
Yep, we actually are.
Do you have ideas you wanna pitch me?
-A mansion. -Whoo!
Do explain.
Outside, it would be all white.
-On the inside, it would have a kitchen. -Okay.
Like a normal house.
I'm sold.
-Do you have an invention? -Yes. We do actually.
Let's see it.
So, basically, our invention's something called a Tutor Bot.
-Right. -And we named the Tutor Bot "Sasha."
The Tutor Bot's purpose is to help you with your homework.
She wakes you up in the morning.
She has an alarm clock. She can tell time.
So you guys basically made a giant iPhone?
Yeah. But, actually, I didn't think about it like that but yes.
Pitch me.
My first idea was a car that can turn into a boat.
Wait. So you invented a duckboat?
Boston called. They want their idea back.
And then there's a walking plane.
A walking plane?
-A walking plane. Hold on. I'm considering that.
-Um…
It would have… a TV.
Um…
And it has a cupholder in the bed.
Ten more seconds.
Um…
That's it.
"Make a TV show," they said.
"It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be called Making Fun."
Next!
Do these guys look like they can do electronics?
These are the guys you call when you have a clogged toilet.
Yeah. I can tell.
Next.
Aw!
A boat that's a car, and an airplane that has feet.
-Yeah. -Let's try this.
Come on. Do it with me. One, two, three.
Pull it in and go, "Next!"
Ne--
Bye-bye.
Let's go. Come on.
-Oh my God.
What in the…
Looks like an episode of American Horror Story.
-There we go! -There you go!
You got a great smile there.
Beautiful smile.
What's your name?
My name is Jemmie, and I am seven years old.
Jemmie? My name is Jimmy.
Hi, Jimmy.
Jimmy-Jemmie.
So, Jemmie, you got me here, what is your pitch?
I want you to make me a unicorn.
A big one.
-Okay. -And a bike.
-Wha-- -Does the unicorn ride the bicycle or…
Yes!
Interesting.
And flap its wings.
-Flaps its wings? You writing this down?
Let me ask you another question--
There's two bicycles.
Two bi… Wait a minute.
So you want two unicornacycles?
Yes!
-Deux. Deux. Yup. Deux. -Deux? Yeah.
I think you're getting a little greedy with the two unicornacycles
and all this wings and everything.
-What are they gonna do? -A unicorn race.
Interesting.
Yeah. That's kind of fun.
So two unicorns, two bicycles, they race each other?
-Yes! -I actually like this idea.
You know what that means?
-That means I'm deeply disturbed.
Compared to the others, this is the least stupid.
Thank you.
And something we can make. No electronics.
-We can do it. -Yeah.
All right, Jemmie. We'll make two unicornacycles for you.
With all the colors, all the accessories, the wings,
and everything you want. Is that okay?
-Yes! Yes! -You guys okay with that?
You go back to the carnival behind you and have fun.
We'll check in a little later.
-Bye! Have a nice day! -Bye!
We'll do that.
I'm watching you!
Adios!
Adios.
-Unicorns riding bicycles. -I love it!
Anybody have any ideas?
What's your idea?
If I'm not on your team, I'm not telling you my idea.
Why not?
This is obviously a competition.
Hold on. If it's a competition, I wanna be on Jimmy's team.
-'Cause he's probably gonna win. -There you go.
So it's us three versus you two.
All right. Let's get started.
Giddyup!
Unicorn-a-competition.
Unicorn cycle. We're gonna get a bicycle. Right?
Shh. We don't want them to hear.
Whatever they come up with is gonna be pure…
-She said she wanted a unicornacycle. -Yep.
Do you have a bike in mind we're gonna use--
We got a bunch of junk bikes.
I say we cut it in half.
-I'm thinking a tandem. Yeah? -Ooh!
Make it a little longer.
Cut the whole back of the first bike off.
We'll add more steel for reinforcement to the frame.
So it's structurally enough for both of us.
-Yeah. -Thick boys.
And so, we'll wrap the frame of the bike
with this foam rubber horse structure.
Okay.
Then we'll wrap that with a plush, like a stuffed animal.
I heard them saying something about plush. We should go to the opposite side of that.
Agreed. Plywood or pallet wood, maybe?
Yeah. Like a Trojan Horse sorta thing.
Then we take the front wheel, and we make like a horsey trot mechanism.
-I keep saying "horse," but what I mean-- -Unicorn.
Unicorn. But what is not a unicorn except a…
A fancy horse.
-Fancy horse with a horn. -Exactly.
Does that look like a horse?
Oh yeah. Don't forget the…
Now it's a unicorn.
He's gonna be in motion.
Both legs gonna be moving?
Yeah. Back legs will be going like this. Front legs like this.
-Okay. Now that you said it that way. -Yeah.
Jimmy said something about making the legs move,
so let's make the head move instead.
-That's what I was picturing.
The horn, I think we could probably pour up some resin.
We can make it from resin.
-Maybe some sparkles. -All the colors.
-You can turn it on a lathe. -Give it a little twist action.
-I think it's good. -What's up, guys?
Hey, wouldn't it be a shame if one of your bikes got a flat tire?
Me, Graz, and Derek are gonna make a plush unicornacycle for one
with moving legs.
Pat and I are gonna make a tandem unicorn bike with a wooden body.
We'll call it our "Trojan Unicorn."
-Nice! -Look at that!
Look at these bikes he's got. I love it.
This is good stuff.
I see potential.
What are we doing? What's the plan?
First thing is to make the frame bigger.
We're gonna cut the frame and extend it so that the unicorn has more presence.
-All right. Let's do this.
-That's cut through. -Yep.
This bike's too short to support the body of the unicorn,
and to support anybody who rides it.
All right.
Even someone as tiny as Graz.
Let's go 39 for funsies.
We're gonna create an extended frame
by welding one-inch metal stock to each end of the bike.
That's the welding scribble that I like. You hear that?
Weld-done.
That's the front bike.
We'll put that up here.
Since we didn't have a tandem bicycle in the scrap pile,
we have to make our own. We're gonna attach two bike frames together.
We'll cut it off right around there.
That'll get welded up here on this tube
and then weld that to here after we grind the paint off.
Okay.
One working in tandem with the other, just like me and Pat.
Time for my favorite part.
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking? -I think I am.
Cut! Grind! Weld!
Cut!
First, we'll cut the front fork off,
which will be the back-half of our tandem bike.
Cut!
Let's grind!
Next, we'll grind down the areas where we'll fuse the bikes together.
Let's grind!
Let's weld!
Finally, we'll weld the back frame to the front frame,
using a welding torch that creates a liquid metal that's hotter than lava.
Weld!
Whoo!
It's coming together quick. We're catching up.
Right? Looks nice. Looks like a "friends" bike.
I never knew that I was gonna be in the toy business
until my final year of college.
I met a teacher who inspired me, and he encouraged me.
He said, "You have a very good mind for inventing stuff."
He got me in the toy business because he was a toy inventor.
-So he gave me projects to develop. -Like what?
Do you guys remember a thing called Sky Dancer?
Yeah. Totally.
Sky Dancers!
They're flying!
Wow! They really fly…
Yeah. I had that as a kid.
You had one?
-I helped design that toy. -So say "thank you."
I loved that thing.
All right. Playtime's over. Step back.
Dad's yelling at us again.
Because we extended it, we're bringing the seat forward,
so that the center of gravity isn't shifted too far back.
We just installed a seat pole here.
We're also popping in an extra pair of handlebars
on top of the ones that already exist for easier steering and balance.
Wanna give it a shot?
This way. Onto the ground.
Just put it there.
Look at that now.
There's only one person to take it for a little tour.
-Jimmy! Jimmy! -Jimmy! Jimmy!
-Jimmy!
I'll be respectful of my elders and give him a little push.
'Cause I love you. Pedal hard, brother. Pedal hard.
Little Jimmy's all grown up.
He's trying to act like he's not having fun.
I thought we weren't supposed to have fun on these builds!
I'm not having fun!
Besides having to make a unicorn,
I have to make its legs look like it's galloping.
We need to come up with a way to power the unicorn's legs
using the bicycle's wheels.
I'm just trying to think of a subtle thing that uses the action of the wheels.
I need to do something that's gonna…
The problem is that everything has to be held from the middle or the side.
-I can't put something here. It'll hit. -Yeah. It's gonna go…
It'll come to me. I'm just…
I got it!
We have a light bulb we can put on in post?
-What are you thinking? -I just thought of it.
-It's an aha moment! -Aha!
My magic finger.
Right here, there's a wheel.
And on this side of the wheel, there's a pin pivot here, off-center.
And then on this side, there's a pin pivot opposite it.
So now, we're attached to the wheel here and here.
There's no center!
Tell the artist to take the center circle out. There's no circle.
So when the wheel spins, this is gonna go like this.
Oh!
But we're on a parallelogram.
So it's gonna go up and down perfectly like this,
but it'll kind of go like this.
-Got it? -No.
All right. If you let me make it, you'll understand.
Cut to the montage.
Here we are. This is the part we just made on the lathe.
When the wheel turns,
this is gonna create the galloping motion.
We're gonna tie this to the knees of the…
unicorn.
-That'll work. -It'll go like that.
Nice.
I'm using a blow torch to heat up the steel rod to make it bendable.
Throw me a tack right on there.
So I can create a metal fork that will wrap around the center groove
and hold the wheel in place over the rubber tire.
It's gonna work great.
We designed a few piston-like rods
that will attach to the knobs on the wheel.
Oh, look at that.
This will create the up-and-down motion that will power the unicorn's legs.
-You hear that squeak?
That's my elbow patting myself on the back.
It's making me smile.
See? Add a little gizmocity. He loves it.
Once we know where the unicorn's knees are gonna be,
we'll tack weld some braces on here to grab them and…
Give it the locomotion?
Take advantage of that action. But now we gotta do this on the back.
So we have a tandem bike.
So next, we gotta work on the body, and here is what I'm thinking.
The main structure are these ribs here.
And then the outside will be covered in pallet slats.
-So let's start building the body. -Good. Let's do that.
We'll go six and a half feet?
To build our wooden unicorn torso, we'll need to create the ribcage.
Twenty-six inches wide at the knee.
Since Pat and I will be pedaling inside the body of the unicorn,
we need to make sure that these thick boys can fit.
Am I wider? I'm probably wider.
We're gonna die.
Next, we'll take this plywood board
and use the band saw to carve out our ribs.
-Ribs. -Ribs.
Yeah. That'll fit nicely.
We need to make more.
Whoa-oa-oa!
We'll attach the ribs to a long wood spine
to hold them all in place.
Hey, guys, I gotta pee,
but we'll see you after a commercial.
-Bye. Yeah? -Pat, Pat, Pat.
-We don't have commercials. -Okay.
-You can't pee. -I really gotta pee.
-You can't. We don't have commercials. -Okay. I'm gonna pee in my pants now.
-Yeah? -Good job!
-So we have a unicorn ribcage here. -Yeah.
-Grab the pallet slats. Put skin on this. -Cool.
Um…
I think I know the answer, but do you have a plan about the body?
Come take a look.
What I see is creating the body out of foam rubber.
Once we have the body shape cut out,
we'll spray down the edges with contact cement
and connect the left and right sides so we can drape it over the bikes.
-Does that look like a horse? -It looks like a fileted chicken.
Let's try this.
-Ooh! -Ba-bam!
-Look at that. -It's not bad!
I was winging it and I got nervous. I didn't know what I was gonna do.
He finally admits it.
We can start putting his * together.
Didn't think I'd be blowing on a unicorn's rear end right now
but gotta let the glue dry.
Now that we have the headless and legless unicorn filet,
I'm dying to know if the pistons we created will get these drumsticks moving.
If I get some speed…
This thing…
Did she ask for a dancing unicorn or a twerking unicorn?
Honestly, this is a good start.
I say, we pop this off, I keep building the body,
but I want the bike to be painted pink.
If the bike's pink and the body's white, I think it's gonna look great.
So you do the body, we do the paint?
-Nice. -We got this.
This is a pallet, and the plan is to tear these apart.
We're gonna use the slats, this part of the pallet,
for outside skin on the body of the unicorn.
-You wanna help me take these apart? -No.
Friends?
Friends. That's true. Yeah, yeah, I'll help you.
-You ready? -Yeah.
I'm a pretty big pallet guy.
First of all, they're usually free. Businesses use them for shipping.
Wow, it's quick.
But they're built from high-quality wood,
so they're perfect for makers like us.
These aren't very rusty either. These are new pallets.
I chose these pallets because they're made up of pine.
Pine is light. So this will keep our unicorn light and nimble.
That's how we do it.
All right. Pick your poison.
You know how they usually put music and fast cuts to a video
to like, get through the build?
Yeah.
What do you think they're gonna do for this unicornacycle?
I don't know. I think something Jimmy would like.
Do you think Jimmy had a pretty bike like this when he was a kid?
Absolutely. I think he's projecting what kind of bike we're making now
for the one that he rode as a child.
I'm not having fun!
I don't know if he ever really was a kid.
I think he was always an old grumpy man.
They're like, "Jimmy, wanna play hopscotch?"
He'd be like, "No. I'm gonna go in the shop and go build some stuff."
"You don't wanna go to the store and get candy?"
"No! I'm gonna go build a car."
"All I do is build stuff."
"You know where my father took me on vacation?"
-Where? -"A factory. To make stuff."
While I kept Derek and Graz distracted
by giving them the easiest job possible,
I whipped up our unicorn head using the same foam that we used on the body.
I'm just flying here.
Nice size. Great proportion.
Horses' eyes scare me.
-Really? -They're all veiny and creepy-looking.
Every time I see a horse, and I look in its eye,
it looks like a human inside of a suit saying, "Save me."
"Help. Call the police. Help." Yeah.
I feel like it's looking at me saying,
"All you have to do is me on the lips, and I'll turn back into a prince."
That got weird but yeah.
Now that I have the unicorn flesh fleshed out…
-"Graz?"
…we gotta make this monstrosity lovable.
We'll do that by adding a couple of layers of soft, white, downy-fresh plush cloth.
So we could start spray gluing this in place, then hot-glue in the seam.
That's good.
Throw some hot glue in there 'cause it'll define that line.
-Love it. -Yeah. That'll be nice.
We'll soon have the softest unicorn this side of the rainbow.
Ugh, I wanna sleep on this. Can I just lay on it for a minute?
But on the other side…
is the crappiest-looking wooden pot of gold I've ever seen.
Voila.
-There we go. -The * should be right--
Attention, Jimmy. Children calling.
-Attention, Jimmy!
Time to talk to the kids again!
Hello!
Oh, hey, Jemmie. How are you?
I'm good.
We're busy. What do you wanna talk to us about?
How is my unicorn going?
-What do you wanna know about it? -What it looks like.
Well, the head is green and made out of foam rubber.
Are you impressed with this?
-No. -Yeah. I don't like it either.
So, Jemmie, I'm busy working.
Could you get to the point? What is it you want to bother me about?
I want the unicorn to fart!
Oh no.
Not again. That *s.
Fart glitter.
You want the unicorn to fart glitter?
Yes.
And colors.
-Glitter and colors. -Yeah.
Just think.
Jemmie, we're halfway through this build,
and I didn't really make plans for a glitter-farting device.
Please!
Or I'm gonna fart at your face!
-How can you say no to that?
-Come on!
All right, Jemmie. You warmed my cold heart.
We're gonna give you what you want.
Not because we're nice, it's the premise of the show.
Thank you!
-You're gonna get your glitter fart. -Yay!
I can't wait to see it!
Neither can we.
Get off my screen! I gotta go back to work.
Bye-bye!
This is what happens when a seven-year-old is your boss.
All right. You guys heard the brat. We gotta make this thing fart!
So it comes out of here?
From there.
All right.
You heard the little brat.
She wants a glitter-fart to happen out of the back of the unicorn.
Let me… Let me think about this.
This is the part where we put our hands in our pockets and go, "Mm-hmm."
Yeah. Just stare at him. We've been doing it all along anyways.
-Let me practice. Hold on.
-How's this? - Me, me, me! Wait, hold on. Mm-hmm?
We gotta make it shoot glitter.
-Mm-hmm. -So, compressed air.
-Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.
With a ball valve. We fill it up like a tire.
-Mm-hmm. -And then you let the air out…
Pssht! in one shot.
-What do you think? -Mm-hmm
-All right.
We have a compression tank,
and it goes up to something that shoots.
Okay. I'm gonna be riding it. How do we trigger it?
We put a valve right there. There'll be a trigger that you'll release.
Kind of like a more safe version of like a potato gun.
-Like a potato gun but with air. -Gotcha.
-Like how you fill a tire with a valve? -Yeah.
We're gonna fill that tank up. Just like we'd fill a bicycle tire.
Put the confetti in here. It's gonna go up underneath the tail.
And then when you're riding, you're gonna reach with all your dexterity
and things are going like this, you're gonna go…
Right in Jackman's face.
Since this is a last-minute add-in, and since I'm such a nice guy,
I'll make two cannons,
one for each team.
So, unicorn needs a horn. So that's what this box is for.
Built this box to be a mold for an epoxy resin casting.
And according to my math, we're gonna pour about 4/10 of an inch layers,
twelve different colors, so each layer will be a different color.
By the time those 12 layers are done,
that'll be a five-inch thick mold at the top of this box here.
-Too many numbers? -Yeah.
-You don't have to worry about that. -Okay.
'Cause once we're done, you'll put it on the lathe
and then shape this baby into the most beautiful unicorn horn we've ever seen.
Can't wait.
We have 12 different colors to lay into the box,
and we don't want them mixing.
Looks delicious.
You can't… You can't. No, no, no. Don't eat it.
So each layer has to be dry before the next one is poured.
Which means we mix.
We pour.
We wait.
-We mix. Let's mix.
-We pour. Let's pour.
We wait.
We have about 15 minutes.
Mix.
Pour.
-Wait. -Let's mix. Let's pour. Let's wait.
Mix, pour, all done.
That's what happens when you have a plan.
Friends.
Okay. Just like Jimmy, this has hardened over time.
Get it?
Let's see how it turned out.
Ahh! Look at that!
Well, you don't know it yet,
but this is the coolest unicorn horn you'll ever see.
Wow.
We'll cut it, shape it, turn it.
It'll be a rainbow unicorn horn.
-Whoo-hoo. I'm excited. -It does look edible.
-Yeah. -Don't eat it.
-Oh no.
See how quick he walked away? That means he's gonna eat it.
Ladies and gentlemen, straight from Montreal, Canada,
it's the disc jockey of lathes,
the master of turning.
The one, the only Canadian Pat!
Hit it, Pat.
-Cut it, shape it, turn it. -I'm excited.
It'll be a rainbow unicorn horn.
-It looks edible. Don't eat it. -Yeah.
It'll be a rainbow unicorn horn.
So I'm gonna make a horn for the unicorn.
I'm gonna use the CNC.
That's a fancy machine that's hooked up to a computer.
So it makes it real easy to carve wood, and it makes it look pretty.
CNC stands for "computer numerical control,"
which is boring for, "Let the computer do the work."
It's basically like a printer, but with a cutter instead of ink.
Most CNC routers can only cut in two dimensions,
but this one's - fully capable of 3 - D carving.
If I was doing this by hand,
it would've taken me forever, and I would've looked stupid, like…
-Wow. -Isn't that cool?
But now, I've got a perfectly shaped unicorn horn
in a matter of minutes.
So just like that, it's done.
These idiots spent all day carving theirs, it's not gonna look as nice.
What we have here is some PVC pipe.
We're gonna make the fart chamber here out of the larger pipe.
I have to cut several different pieces, glue them together.
We're gonna zigzag this around and make this the air pressure chamber,
and between the two, there'll be a ball valve.
We'll create pressure inside this chamber. When we're ready to shoot the confetti,
we'll switch the ball valve, and it'll fart confetti out of this tube,
which will be properly placed inside of the unicorn.
Farting confetti. Real funny.
I need to connect all these pieces of PVC together,
but I can't drill holes in them because I need them to be airtight
in order to build up pressure.
I can't * it, but I sure can glue it.
So I'm using this PVC glue to get all the pieces adhered together nice and tightly.
Here it is. We're looking at a fart glitter cannon.
This is the barrel of the gun. This is the trigger of the gun.
This is the chamber.
This gauge tells you how much air pressure is in it.
You fill the air pressure right here, just like a tire,
and when you're ready, you load the cannon and you go kablooey.
-And you let it shoot out. -Nice.
It's not armed. Don't worry. Get me the air over there.
-Oh jeez. -Oh gosh.
Oh my God. Who did this?
-Graz, what are you doing? -Hold on.
With a team like this, how could I go wrong?
-Here we go.
-That was easy. -That was easy enough.
-Yeah. Jesus! -Good work. Ow!
We don't want the air pressure to go over 80 at any given time.
I got an idea.
-What? -See if it…
-Shoots that way? -Yeah.
I've seen back in the Revolutionary War, they did this with the muskets.
Ready? Hey, guys. Eat my dust!
He's eating it.
All right.
Love it.
-Nice work, Jimmy. Good job. -That's pretty awesome.
I think if we tie a rope to the end, you'll tug on that rope.
We'll wire it so that it's easy to grab.
And victory will be ours.
Victory will be ours. Come on. Let's put the finishing touches on,
and the dumbest thing we've made will be out of our lives.
And I can move on.
It's finally time to make our unicorn truly magical.
It's gonna have magical earlobes.
First, we'll attach its magical head to its magical body.
-Hello, Graz. -That's not nightmare fuel.
It's important for our unicorn to be able to hear Jackman and Pat lose,
so we made some cute little magical ears.
-Looks like a lamb. -It kinda does.
Using a three-inch hole saw, we'll create an opening in the backside.
Jimmy was nice enough to make us a fart cannon.
We'll put that in the *hole.
With our legs in place, we're gonna add some texture to our wooden masterpiece
by covering it with wooden shingles.
It smells so good.
We're attaching the head to a pivot on the neck,
so our unicorn can nod while we're winning.
-Boom! -Because Jemmie wanted all the colors…
Patrick!
…we picked out a beautiful rainbow mane.
And because all little girls enjoy a nice burnt-wood finish
we're going to use a blowtorch to create the eyes and the hooves.
And voilà!
Now we gotta give our unicorn some personality.
Some pretty hair,
a pair of golden wings,
an eye to watch over Graz.
And last, but not least…
And last but not least…
Look away, kids.
The best unicorn horn you've ever seen.
Take a look at these things. Things of beauty, huh?
-Pretty impressive. -Museum pieces.
Jemmie's gonna love it. I hope she appreciates this.
We will see you on the track tomorrow.
May the best unicorn win.
Friends.
-Hey. Look who it is. -It's the nature boys.
-Yeah. -What's up?
Look at this.
-Oh. That's adorable. -That's fine. My allergies aren't bad.
-Thanks. -What are we doing?
Today's the big day. It's time to show Jemmie a double dose of dumb.
You two, inside. You two, on the gates. Let's go.
Let's bring Jemmie up. Jemmie!
Hi, Jimmy!
I think we built something that you're really gonna like.
Oh my God. I'm ready to hear this.
Having a unicorn wasn't enough. You asked for…
A unicorn bicycle!
You didn't just ask for one. You asked for…
Two!
-Like the greedy little princess you are. -Yes.
Have you seen a horse made of wood?
-No. -Neither have I because it's stupid.
-Hey. -Your horse *s.
Jemmie, there was one thing you added.
A unicorn farting glitter!
Why… Why the obsession with glitter farts?
Because it's funny.
I want everyone in my show to laugh.
Your show?
You work for me, you clown!
And then last but not least,
you asked for these two ridiculous things to race one another.
Race it! Race it!
Who's gonna win?
Can I see it now?
Fine. Are you ready?
Yes!
Are you ready to see your two unicornacycles?
Let me see. Let me see.
Hours and hours of work making two of the stupidest horses,
and this is all you give me?
I can't wait! I can't wait!
Hit it.
Look at these unicorns.
Oh my God!
Yeah!
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Jemmie, I'm gonna show you the unicorn me and my team built.
Okay!
We named it Wingin' It because that's what we always do. We wing it.
It's beautiful.
Our unicorn is covered with fluffy white fur,
just like a real unicorn's supposed to be.
-I want to touch it. -I think we're gonna lose.
And because you asked for wings,
we have beautiful gold wings.
-And a special treat.
When this thing moves, the legs flutter like he's flying.
And, Jemmie, just as you asked for,
we have a big, pink fart-cannon attached to the back.
It's cool!
Now that I've showed you the best, I'm gonna let you see the rest.
Okay.
This here wooden masterpiece is named Passing Wind.
We built a tandem bike.
It's a bike that two people can ride at the same time.
Oh my gosh!
The body's made from wood.
It's recycled, reclaimed, saved from the trash.
Okay.
Perfect reaction.
I made the unicorn horn.
It's made of plastic. So there's a lot of colors in them.
Yeah!
-The glitter fart-cannon you asked for? -Yes.
We have one too, but it's twice as big.
All right! All right!
-The race. -Yes!
Let's get these monstrosities to the starting gate!
-Let's race!
Welcome to the Inaugural Unicornacycle Derby!
Do you know what a winner looks like?
We're gonna win, right?
Awesome mental attitude.
I'm excited for this.
-That makes one of us.
All right, gentlemen, to your gates!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a beautiful day at Rainbow Land and boy, do we have a race for you.
Competing in today's high stakes single for long race is Wingin' It.
Under the close eye of trainer Derek from Malden and owner Jimmy DiResta,
and driven by seven-time National Jockey winner Graz.
Any last words, Graz?
It was cool to work in TV for a little bit.
And competing alongside them is Passing Wind,
a four-year-old mare.
And special double jockey join, Pat Lap and Paul Jackman.
-Friends? -Yeah. Friends.
All right, Jemmie. Are you ready?
Yes!
On your marks.
Get set.
Go!
And they're off!
Passing Wind takes an early lead
with Wingin' It trailing two lengths behind.
And they're into the stretch.
Passing Wind living up to its name and deploying gas early and often.
-Oh!
I need more power!
Horsepower.
Oh, releasing a tardy fart, Wingin' It is really struggling.
-Come on! Go, Graz! -Graz!
-Yeah! -Go! Go! Go!
And Passing Wind is finishing with a bang!
Sealing their triple crown victory at the unicornacycle derby.
-Graz! -What happened, Graz?
-Did I win? -No.
I wanna test them for PEDs.
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
That's what happens when friends work together.
Yeah. The fart in my face,
it was a little unexpected, as they usually are.
It's gonna be a tough pill to swallow. But you know what?
You gotta dust yourself off of sparkles and get back on the unicorn.
Graz, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.
Jemmie, let me ask you an honest question.
We know that this unicorn won,
but which unicorn was the one you liked the most?
I liked-ed the white one.
So everybody goes home a winner!
-We're all winners. -Just like Jackman likes.
We're all winners!
Jemmie, did we satisfy your twisted little dreams?
Yes! You did!
Thank you, thank you, thank you so, so, so much!
You have fun?
I did have fun.
He did. He smiled once. I seen it.
All right, guys. I think we did our job.
Thank you, everybody!
What are you still doing here? Get off my screen.
I don't know what we just did, but it's over.
And that's my favorite part.
Clean this crap up.
We have to get away fast, or Jimmy will make us clean up!
Do you think we're far enough away? We need to get out of here!
No!