WEBVTT 00:00:01.297 --> 00:00:03.800 We still have a Christmas present for one of the boys. 00:00:03.883 --> 00:00:05.552 I wonder what it is. 00:00:05.552 --> 00:00:07.303 Reese ever get that football jersey? 00:00:07.387 --> 00:00:08.430 I can't remember. 00:00:08.471 --> 00:00:09.431 Well, you know, honey, 00:00:09.472 --> 00:00:11.266 the boys got so much for Christmas last year, 00:00:11.307 --> 00:00:13.268 they don't even appreciate what they have. 00:00:13.309 --> 00:00:14.436 If we save it for his birthday, 00:00:14.477 --> 00:00:15.937 it'll be that much more special. 00:00:15.979 --> 00:00:17.147 Hal, this one's for you. 00:00:17.188 --> 00:00:18.398 Oh, boy! You did get me 00:00:18.440 --> 00:00:20.817 that DVD player I've been hoping for. 00:00:20.859 --> 00:00:22.736 I thought you forgot. 00:00:22.777 --> 00:00:23.820 To be honest with you, 00:00:23.862 --> 00:00:25.405 I've been holding a grudge for months. 00:00:25.447 --> 00:00:28.199 Now I get to watch all those DVDs I've got hidden 00:00:28.241 --> 00:00:29.409 in the garage. 00:00:34.122 --> 00:00:35.874 Oh. 00:00:35.915 --> 00:00:39.794 Jumper cables. 00:00:39.836 --> 00:00:41.421 Thank you, honey. 00:01:12.952 --> 00:01:14.704 Oh, this is ridiculous. 00:01:14.788 --> 00:01:17.248 Craig has been in there for 45 minutes. 00:01:17.290 --> 00:01:18.708 God, I hope I get it 00:01:18.750 --> 00:01:20.460 I hope I get it 00:01:20.502 --> 00:01:22.253 How many people does he need? 00:01:22.295 --> 00:01:24.172 How long is he going to be living with us? 00:01:24.214 --> 00:01:25.256 Look, we have to be patient with him. 00:01:25.298 --> 00:01:26.633 We burned the man's house down. 00:01:26.674 --> 00:01:28.259 How many boys, how many girls? 00:01:32.305 --> 00:01:33.723 He doesn't like the way I look 00:01:33.765 --> 00:01:35.308 He doesn't like the way I dance 00:01:35.350 --> 00:01:36.434 He doesn't like the way... 00:01:36.476 --> 00:01:37.936 That's it, we're opening the door. 00:01:37.977 --> 00:01:39.270 Someone go get me a coat hanger. 00:01:39.312 --> 00:01:40.313 I did that yesterday, Dad. 00:01:40.355 --> 00:01:41.981 Trust me, don't go in there. 00:01:42.023 --> 00:01:43.817 He's done when he's done. 00:01:47.028 --> 00:01:48.279 Hey, everyone. 00:01:48.321 --> 00:01:49.656 Say good morning, Jellybean. 00:01:54.035 --> 00:01:56.037 Oh... 00:01:56.079 --> 00:01:58.248 dear Lord. 00:01:59.207 --> 00:02:01.000 You know, I'm really excited 00:02:01.042 --> 00:02:03.503 about this father-son weekend at Marlin. 00:02:03.545 --> 00:02:06.172 Spend some time with Francis, do some male bonding, 00:02:06.172 --> 00:02:08.007 maybe even a survival hike. 00:02:08.049 --> 00:02:09.342 You have your fluffy pillow? 00:02:09.551 --> 00:02:11.970 Now this is nice. 00:02:12.011 --> 00:02:13.555 And don't you worry about a thing, Hal. 00:02:13.596 --> 00:02:16.182 I'll take as good care of your house as you did mine. 00:02:16.224 --> 00:02:17.308 I'm just kidding. 00:02:17.350 --> 00:02:18.518 I won't burn your house down. 00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:20.979 But that's all in the past. Totally forgotten. 00:02:21.020 --> 00:02:23.189 Better get going, though. Don't want to be late. 00:02:23.231 --> 00:02:24.357 Thanks. 00:02:24.399 --> 00:02:24.649 Bye, honey. 00:02:25.567 --> 00:02:27.443 Uh, Lois, 00:02:27.485 --> 00:02:30.321 I'm aware this isn't the most comfortable situation here, 00:02:30.405 --> 00:02:32.574 having me around all the time, 00:02:32.574 --> 00:02:34.117 the forbidden fruit, as it were. 00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:35.451 Especially now, with Hal gone. 00:02:35.493 --> 00:02:36.911 Yeah, Craig, it's not... But, shh... 00:02:36.911 --> 00:02:39.247 Whatever feelings we shared... 00:02:39.247 --> 00:02:40.957 that's in the past. 00:02:40.999 --> 00:02:42.667 That part of us is dead now. 00:02:42.750 --> 00:02:44.419 Craig, I... Shh, shh, shh! 00:02:44.460 --> 00:02:47.088 (whispers): Let's not rekindle this. 00:02:49.507 --> 00:02:50.967 You know, if you're not allowed 00:02:51.009 --> 00:02:52.427 to keep a squirrel in your locker, 00:02:52.468 --> 00:02:53.678 they should put up a sign. 00:02:53.761 --> 00:02:56.097 I'm not psychic. I can't read minds. 00:02:58.433 --> 00:02:59.559 Look. 00:02:59.601 --> 00:03:00.894 No, Dewey, let's go. 00:03:00.935 --> 00:03:02.770 No, it's a minibike. 00:03:04.147 --> 00:03:06.274 Someone's just throwing it away? 00:03:06.316 --> 00:03:08.109 Man, that would be so cool to have. 00:03:33.384 --> 00:03:34.427 Wait! Wait! 00:03:34.510 --> 00:03:35.720 Wait. 00:03:35.762 --> 00:03:36.763 You can't throw that out. 00:03:36.846 --> 00:03:37.764 This? 00:03:37.847 --> 00:03:38.765 It's a piece of trash. 00:03:38.848 --> 00:03:40.058 What are you talking about? 00:03:40.099 --> 00:03:41.517 That's not trash. 00:03:41.559 --> 00:03:43.061 You don't know what trash is. 00:03:43.102 --> 00:03:45.063 I am a garbage man. 00:03:45.104 --> 00:03:46.564 Look, why don't you give us the bike? 00:03:46.606 --> 00:03:48.107 Maybe we can fix it up or something. 00:03:48.191 --> 00:03:50.109 What's it worth to you? 00:03:50.193 --> 00:03:52.070 What? We don't have any money. 00:03:52.111 --> 00:03:53.863 You were just about to throw it away. 00:03:53.905 --> 00:03:55.073 Give you 30 bucks. 00:03:55.114 --> 00:03:56.783 Done. 00:03:56.866 --> 00:03:58.701 Where'd you get 30 bucks? 00:03:58.701 --> 00:04:00.411 What are you, a cop? 00:04:08.461 --> 00:04:10.004 Hey, Lois. 00:04:10.046 --> 00:04:12.924 Just fighting Father Time. 00:04:12.966 --> 00:04:14.425 Craig, I have to work late tonight. 00:04:14.467 --> 00:04:15.885 Would you mind feeding the boys? 00:04:15.927 --> 00:04:17.136 No problem. 00:04:17.178 --> 00:04:18.054 Thanks. 00:04:18.137 --> 00:04:19.681 So, uh, I'm in charge, then? 00:04:19.722 --> 00:04:22.308 All you have to do is fix them some dinner. Right. 00:04:22.350 --> 00:04:24.060 But I'm completely in charge. 00:04:24.060 --> 00:04:25.812 They got to listen to me. 00:04:25.853 --> 00:04:26.854 Dance for me. 00:04:26.896 --> 00:04:29.232 That's right, dance. Why? 00:04:29.232 --> 00:04:31.859 'Cause I'm in charge, that's why. 00:04:31.901 --> 00:04:34.237 We burned his house down. 00:04:35.238 --> 00:04:37.115 Look at it. It was just dirty. 00:04:37.156 --> 00:04:38.574 The paint job's perfect. 00:04:38.574 --> 00:04:40.827 And all it needs is a spark plug and a carburetor 00:04:40.910 --> 00:04:41.995 and it'll be working. 00:04:42.078 --> 00:04:43.746 We can get that stuff off Dad's lawnmower. 00:04:43.788 --> 00:04:45.164 This minibike is the coolest thing 00:04:45.248 --> 00:04:46.291 we've ever had in our lives. 00:04:46.332 --> 00:04:48.960 This totally makes up for all the years of crap. 00:04:49.002 --> 00:04:51.087 This is the only thing we've ever shared. 00:04:51.087 --> 00:04:52.964 This is the only thing we've had that's worth sharing. 00:04:53.006 --> 00:04:54.173 The first thing I'm gonna do 00:04:54.257 --> 00:04:56.134 is go down to Principal Littledove's house 00:04:56.175 --> 00:04:57.427 and cut donuts on his front lawn. 00:04:57.468 --> 00:04:59.595 Okay, why don't you take it tomorrow and Wednesday 00:04:59.637 --> 00:05:01.514 and I'll take it on... Excuse me? 00:05:01.597 --> 00:05:03.141 What? What are you doing? 00:05:03.182 --> 00:05:05.143 Nothing, I'm just making up a schedule. 00:05:05.184 --> 00:05:07.145 Why do you get to make up the schedule? 00:05:07.186 --> 00:05:08.062 What's the problem? 00:05:08.104 --> 00:05:09.147 I'm giving you the first day. 00:05:09.188 --> 00:05:10.315 So what? 00:05:10.356 --> 00:05:11.858 You're not the boss of everyone. 00:05:11.899 --> 00:05:14.235 Look, I'm the one who put together the engine. 00:05:14.277 --> 00:05:15.737 Well, I'm the one that paid for it. 00:05:15.778 --> 00:05:18.281 You wouldn't even have it if I didn't see it. 00:05:18.281 --> 00:05:19.282 Shut up, Dewey. 00:05:19.282 --> 00:05:20.283 You shut up! 00:05:20.283 --> 00:05:21.534 Look, it's not even fixed yet. 00:05:21.576 --> 00:05:22.952 There's no point in fighting... 00:05:22.952 --> 00:05:23.953 I get it on Sundays! 00:05:24.037 --> 00:05:24.954 You do not! 00:05:24.954 --> 00:05:26.914 Dewey, you're too short to even ride it. 00:05:26.956 --> 00:05:30.293 I'm in the 40th percentile. 00:05:30.376 --> 00:05:32.295 And you're too stupid to ride it. 00:05:32.378 --> 00:05:33.379 Would you guys chill out? 00:05:33.421 --> 00:05:34.464 Shut up! Yeah, Malcolm! 00:05:34.547 --> 00:05:36.090 You may be able to boss around 00:05:36.132 --> 00:05:37.300 your loser Krelboynes, 00:05:37.300 --> 00:05:40.219 but normal people don't have to listen to you. 00:05:40.261 --> 00:05:42.847 Quit talking and hit him. 00:05:42.889 --> 00:05:45.141 You don't have any friends. 00:05:47.226 --> 00:05:50.646 Mom told you you're never allowed to talk about that. 00:05:50.646 --> 00:05:54.150 (playing Three's Company theme song) 00:06:00.323 --> 00:06:01.657 Let's have a hand 00:06:01.699 --> 00:06:03.493 for Cadet Drew and his father, 00:06:03.493 --> 00:06:06.329 direct from the showrooms 00:06:06.329 --> 00:06:08.206 of Atlantic City. 00:06:08.247 --> 00:06:11.709 That was just riveting. 00:06:11.751 --> 00:06:15.129 And, now, we have a few more awards to give out. 00:06:15.171 --> 00:06:16.589 (all groaning) Now, now, 00:06:16.631 --> 00:06:21.344 we have a lot of students, and they all deserve recognition. 00:06:23.346 --> 00:06:26.265 The award for the best history essay 00:06:26.307 --> 00:06:29.185 by a junior or sophomore goes to... 00:06:29.185 --> 00:06:30.603 Cadet Eric. 00:06:35.441 --> 00:06:36.984 Congratulations. 00:06:37.026 --> 00:06:37.944 Thanks. 00:06:37.985 --> 00:06:39.445 We're so proud of our Eric. 00:06:39.487 --> 00:06:42.323 We're the luckiest dads in the world. 00:06:43.866 --> 00:06:45.368 It was a great essay. 00:06:45.451 --> 00:06:48.287 I had a shot at the "C" till he *ed up the curve. 00:06:48.371 --> 00:06:51.124 They sure are giving out a lot of awards, huh? 00:06:51.207 --> 00:06:53.251 Yeah, I'm sorry. This is just ridiculous. 00:06:53.292 --> 00:06:54.919 He gives these things out like candy. 00:06:54.961 --> 00:06:56.254 And now 00:06:56.295 --> 00:06:58.089 the award for the cadet 00:06:58.131 --> 00:07:00.758 who has shown the most improvement. 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:05.263 This young lad came to Marlin as a delinquent jack-a-ninny 00:07:05.304 --> 00:07:07.890 without the slightest sign of potential. 00:07:07.932 --> 00:07:10.726 And yet, in a mere year and a half, 00:07:10.768 --> 00:07:12.728 he has started 00:07:12.728 --> 00:07:14.564 to turn himself around. 00:07:14.605 --> 00:07:17.483 He's not all the way there yet, 00:07:17.525 --> 00:07:20.361 but he is on the path to becoming 00:07:20.403 --> 00:07:23.656 an outstanding member of the Marlin family. 00:07:23.698 --> 00:07:25.867 I proudly present... 00:07:25.908 --> 00:07:28.411 Cadet Gordie. 00:07:39.422 --> 00:07:41.507 This is nice, you know? 00:07:41.549 --> 00:07:45.511 Sitting around with family, eating together, sharing. 00:07:45.553 --> 00:07:47.430 What'd you do today, buddy? 00:07:47.430 --> 00:07:49.932 Nothing. I'm too short. 00:07:49.932 --> 00:07:51.601 I wouldn't worry about that, sport. 00:07:51.601 --> 00:07:53.436 I bet you probably have the biggest head 00:07:53.436 --> 00:07:54.520 in your whole class. 00:07:54.562 --> 00:07:56.814 Am I too stupid to have some more peas? 00:07:56.856 --> 00:08:00.151 I don't think there are any rules on that, Chief. 00:08:03.529 --> 00:08:05.823 Yeah, this is nice. 00:08:05.865 --> 00:08:10.286 I remember when I was your age, not a care in the world. 00:08:10.286 --> 00:08:11.996 Me and my imaginary brother 00:08:12.038 --> 00:08:15.333 outside in the yard building forts all day. 00:08:15.374 --> 00:08:17.543 Yep, good times. 00:08:17.585 --> 00:08:19.545 Where do you think you're going? 00:08:19.587 --> 00:08:20.838 To the garage! 00:08:20.880 --> 00:08:22.340 Not alone, you're not! 00:08:22.381 --> 00:08:24.550 I'm coming, too! 00:08:24.592 --> 00:08:27.929 You're all excused. 00:08:27.970 --> 00:08:29.639 Kids. 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:30.723 Hey, genius, 00:08:30.765 --> 00:08:32.475 you going to be done any time this year? 00:08:32.475 --> 00:08:35.144 If you'd just shut up and left me alone, it'd be fixed by now. 00:08:35.228 --> 00:08:37.313 You two disgust me. 00:08:37.396 --> 00:08:39.774 All right, this should do it. 00:08:39.815 --> 00:08:41.108 Let me do it. 00:08:41.150 --> 00:08:43.653 I'm doing it. Me, me, me, me! 00:08:43.736 --> 00:08:45.488 (engine running) I told you I could fix it. 00:08:45.488 --> 00:08:47.281 Way to go, jack*. Now get out of my way. 00:08:47.323 --> 00:08:48.574 Get off! It's mine! No! 00:08:49.742 --> 00:08:50.952 It's mine! Get off! 00:08:50.993 --> 00:08:53.120 It's mine! Mine! Move! 00:08:53.162 --> 00:08:54.121 I found it and I fixed it! 00:08:54.163 --> 00:08:55.289 It's mine! Leave it alone! 00:08:55.331 --> 00:08:56.499 It's mine! 00:08:56.499 --> 00:08:57.667 LOIS: It's nobody's! 00:08:59.168 --> 00:09:00.503 What's wrong with you kids? 00:09:00.503 --> 00:09:02.338 You're not allowed to have a motorcycle. 00:09:08.511 --> 00:09:10.888 What are you doing? Yeah, that's ours! 00:09:10.930 --> 00:09:12.390 We paid for it with our own money! 00:09:12.431 --> 00:09:14.392 Well, that was pretty stupid of you, wasn't it? 00:09:14.433 --> 00:09:17.103 There's no way you're having a motorcycle. 00:09:17.186 --> 00:09:19.897 But, Mom, it's not a motorcycle. 00:09:19.939 --> 00:09:21.357 It's just a little minibike. 00:09:21.357 --> 00:09:22.400 It's a motorcycle. 00:09:22.441 --> 00:09:23.859 It's not a motorcycle! 00:09:23.859 --> 00:09:25.027 It's two feet high. 00:09:25.069 --> 00:09:26.571 It was made specifically for kids. 00:09:26.612 --> 00:09:28.531 Two wheels. Motor. Motorcycle. 00:09:30.449 --> 00:09:35.037 Look, I... I understand that, uh, Francis 00:09:35.079 --> 00:09:37.540 is never going to be the perfect kid. 00:09:37.582 --> 00:09:40.418 You see, what I'm asking for here 00:09:40.459 --> 00:09:44.171 is, is just a little... ray of hope. 00:09:45.756 --> 00:09:48.301 Anything at all? 00:09:51.053 --> 00:09:52.888 Francis is... 00:09:54.390 --> 00:09:58.311 ...not interested in learning. 00:09:59.604 --> 00:10:02.648 Francis is... 00:10:02.690 --> 00:10:04.358 interested in causing trouble. 00:10:04.400 --> 00:10:08.237 I'm sorry to have to say that, but I have seen his type before. 00:10:08.279 --> 00:10:09.614 All he likes to do 00:10:09.697 --> 00:10:12.116 is flout authority. 00:10:12.199 --> 00:10:14.118 He has contempt for rules. 00:10:14.201 --> 00:10:16.746 He lives to undermine and destroy. 00:10:16.954 --> 00:10:18.289 He feels no compunction... 00:10:18.331 --> 00:10:19.415 Okay. 00:10:19.415 --> 00:10:23.336 I get it. 00:10:23.419 --> 00:10:26.422 Isn't there anything positive you can tell me? 00:10:27.506 --> 00:10:29.759 Sorry. 00:10:33.429 --> 00:10:34.472 Oh, wait. 00:10:34.513 --> 00:10:35.473 Yes? 00:10:35.514 --> 00:10:38.976 Do you want chicken or fish tonight? 00:10:42.438 --> 00:10:44.440 Look, Mom, I don't think you realize 00:10:44.482 --> 00:10:46.233 how much we really want this bike. 00:10:46.275 --> 00:10:49.403 I looked over your tax return, and I think I could save you 00:10:49.445 --> 00:10:51.405 about $1,200... 00:10:51.447 --> 00:10:53.199 if you make it worth my while. 00:10:53.240 --> 00:10:54.367 No. 00:10:56.744 --> 00:10:59.413 You know that dog that keeps you up every night? 00:10:59.455 --> 00:11:02.416 I could take him for a little... "walk." 00:11:02.458 --> 00:11:04.126 No! 00:11:04.168 --> 00:11:05.419 I want it! I want it! 00:11:05.461 --> 00:11:06.879 I hate you! I want it! 00:11:06.921 --> 00:11:08.422 I wish I was dead! 00:11:09.965 --> 00:11:10.633 No! 00:11:10.675 --> 00:11:13.010 Doing laundry, huh? 00:11:13.094 --> 00:11:14.345 Yes, Craig. 00:11:14.428 --> 00:11:16.472 Well, don't even think of doing my stuff. 00:11:16.514 --> 00:11:18.766 I'm the only guy that handles my used underpants, 00:11:18.766 --> 00:11:20.643 thank you very much. 00:11:20.685 --> 00:11:22.937 Of course, shame to waste electricity 00:11:22.978 --> 00:11:25.481 if you got the room. 00:11:27.608 --> 00:11:29.652 Okay, Mom, we thought about it 00:11:29.694 --> 00:11:30.653 and we understand 00:11:30.695 --> 00:11:32.822 that you're worried about us getting hurt, 00:11:32.863 --> 00:11:34.532 so we promise we'll always wear helmets 00:11:34.615 --> 00:11:35.658 when we ride the minibike. 00:11:35.700 --> 00:11:36.701 And in addition to the helmets, 00:11:36.784 --> 00:11:38.285 we'll also wear elbow and knee pads 00:11:38.285 --> 00:11:39.495 no matter how dorky we look. 00:11:39.537 --> 00:11:41.664 And we'll only ride it in the park. 00:11:41.706 --> 00:11:43.374 And only under your supervision 00:11:43.416 --> 00:11:45.793 when you say so and when you're with us. 00:11:45.835 --> 00:11:46.669 No. 00:11:46.711 --> 00:11:47.586 Wait! 00:11:47.628 --> 00:11:48.462 No! 00:11:48.504 --> 00:11:49.588 This isn't fair! 00:11:49.630 --> 00:11:51.090 You don't get to just say no! 00:11:51.132 --> 00:11:52.591 Yes, I do. No, you don't! 00:11:52.633 --> 00:11:54.593 You can't just make a blanket statement 00:11:54.635 --> 00:11:56.262 that covers everything. 00:11:56.303 --> 00:11:57.596 There has to be some scenario 00:11:57.638 --> 00:11:59.640 where you'll let us ride the bike. 00:11:59.682 --> 00:12:01.600 I mean, what if I was a trained athlete 00:12:01.642 --> 00:12:03.602 who practiced on a simulator for 15 years 00:12:03.644 --> 00:12:06.605 and wore Kevlar body armor in a field of marshmallows? 00:12:06.647 --> 00:12:07.606 I would still say no. 00:12:07.648 --> 00:12:08.774 Now stop bothering me. 00:12:08.816 --> 00:12:10.109 I don't know, Lois. 00:12:10.151 --> 00:12:11.819 The boys sound pretty reasonable to me. 00:12:11.819 --> 00:12:13.112 Stay out of this, Craig. 00:12:13.154 --> 00:12:14.989 Hey! I live here, too, don't I? 00:12:14.989 --> 00:12:16.741 Sorry, baby. 00:12:16.824 --> 00:12:18.909 Mom's just doing this 'cause she can't stand 00:12:18.993 --> 00:12:20.828 that we were actually working together. 00:12:20.828 --> 00:12:23.998 I know. Fixing that bike up was the best time we ever had. 00:12:23.998 --> 00:12:25.499 I never wanted it to end. 00:12:25.541 --> 00:12:28.085 Yeah. We were a perfect team. 00:12:28.169 --> 00:12:29.336 We still are. 00:12:29.378 --> 00:12:31.547 The three of us, we're going to work together 00:12:31.589 --> 00:12:32.715 and find a way to beat her. 00:12:32.757 --> 00:12:34.717 She's going down. 00:12:34.759 --> 00:12:38.012 Hey... wait a minute. 00:12:42.266 --> 00:12:46.729 Boys! I need some help! 00:12:46.771 --> 00:12:47.855 Oh. 00:12:47.897 --> 00:12:49.732 What's this? 00:12:50.775 --> 00:12:52.735 Looks like a picture of you on a horse. 00:12:52.777 --> 00:12:54.612 What were you, about Dewey's age? 00:12:57.698 --> 00:12:59.283 What are you doing with this? 00:12:59.325 --> 00:13:01.368 This looks awfully dangerous. 00:13:01.410 --> 00:13:02.661 Look at that. 00:13:02.703 --> 00:13:04.497 No padding, no helmet. 00:13:04.538 --> 00:13:06.040 Did you ever fall? 00:13:06.081 --> 00:13:07.541 What does this have to do with...? 00:13:07.583 --> 00:13:10.169 We're asking the questions. 00:13:10.211 --> 00:13:11.378 MALCOLM: So, according 00:13:11.378 --> 00:13:12.671 to your logic, 00:13:12.713 --> 00:13:14.048 a two-foot fall from a minibike 00:13:14.131 --> 00:13:16.133 is more dangerous than a six-foot fall 00:13:16.175 --> 00:13:17.468 from a galloping horse? 00:13:17.510 --> 00:13:19.887 That was a long time ago. 00:13:19.887 --> 00:13:22.598 Before gravity? 00:13:22.640 --> 00:13:24.767 I don't have time for this right now. 00:13:24.809 --> 00:13:26.393 I have to get ready... 00:13:26.393 --> 00:13:29.605 I have to go to work. 00:13:29.647 --> 00:13:30.773 Did you see that? 00:13:30.815 --> 00:13:32.441 We totally rattled her! Yeah! 00:13:32.483 --> 00:13:33.609 We did it! 00:13:33.651 --> 00:13:34.777 It worked! 00:13:34.819 --> 00:13:35.778 We've got Mom! 00:13:35.820 --> 00:13:36.821 What? 00:13:36.904 --> 00:13:38.072 There's a chink in the armor! 00:13:38.113 --> 00:13:39.240 We're going to do it! 00:13:39.281 --> 00:13:41.158 If we just play it cool, have a little patience, 00:13:41.242 --> 00:13:43.077 we'll have the minibike by the end of the week! 00:13:43.077 --> 00:13:43.994 No, we won't. 00:13:44.078 --> 00:13:45.079 It's broken. 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.622 What? 00:13:46.664 --> 00:13:48.290 I snuck it out for a ride. 00:13:48.332 --> 00:13:49.792 And you know what? 00:13:49.834 --> 00:13:51.252 They are dangerous. 00:13:54.797 --> 00:13:57.007 You think Mom will notice? 00:14:02.763 --> 00:14:05.724 You moron! Do you have any idea what you've done? 00:14:05.766 --> 00:14:07.309 We were so close! We had her! 00:14:07.351 --> 00:14:08.519 That's what I figured. 00:14:08.561 --> 00:14:10.104 I wouldn't have taken it otherwise. 00:14:10.187 --> 00:14:11.230 I'm not an idiot. 00:14:11.272 --> 00:14:13.732 I can't believe you would... 00:14:13.774 --> 00:14:14.942 How was it? 00:14:14.942 --> 00:14:15.943 It was awesome. 00:14:15.943 --> 00:14:17.236 I looked really cool doing it. 00:14:17.278 --> 00:14:19.363 I could see my reflection in the car windows 00:14:19.405 --> 00:14:20.948 right up until I hit the mailbox. 00:14:20.948 --> 00:14:24.577 Sometimes you just embarrass me. 00:14:24.618 --> 00:14:26.954 It's okay. Mom doesn't have to find out. 00:14:26.954 --> 00:14:28.205 I'll be fine. 00:14:28.289 --> 00:14:29.665 My leg's really starting to feel better. 00:14:29.707 --> 00:14:32.459 Let's see it. Ow! 00:14:32.459 --> 00:14:34.295 (knock on door) Hi, Mom! Hello. 00:14:34.336 --> 00:14:35.963 Look, boys, I was thinking about it, 00:14:35.963 --> 00:14:38.674 and, uh, you're old enough to deserve an explanation. 00:14:38.716 --> 00:14:39.842 I was... 00:14:39.884 --> 00:14:41.719 You don't always know what's best for us! 00:14:41.802 --> 00:14:43.554 You don't know that we would have gotten hurt! 00:14:43.637 --> 00:14:44.847 There's such a thing as trust! 00:14:44.889 --> 00:14:46.223 I really think we've earned it! 00:14:46.307 --> 00:14:48.475 Reese, I'm not saying that I... I don't have 00:14:48.475 --> 00:14:49.852 to sit here and listen to this! 00:14:49.894 --> 00:14:51.478 Yes, you do. Oh, right. 00:14:51.520 --> 00:14:53.230 Look, I'll tell you what. 00:14:53.314 --> 00:14:54.857 How about I take you to the skateboard park tonight, huh? 00:14:54.899 --> 00:14:56.150 How does that sound? 00:14:56.150 --> 00:14:58.652 Actually, I'm pretty tired. 00:14:58.694 --> 00:15:01.071 Me, too, and I think I really want to get a jump 00:15:01.113 --> 00:15:02.573 on next week's homework. 00:15:02.615 --> 00:15:04.783 What's going on? 00:15:04.825 --> 00:15:05.784 You guys are... 00:15:05.826 --> 00:15:07.369 CRAIG: Lois! Lois! 00:15:07.411 --> 00:15:09.580 Oh, for God's sake! 00:15:09.622 --> 00:15:11.165 What is it now? 00:15:11.248 --> 00:15:13.667 What's the matter, Craig? 00:15:13.751 --> 00:15:16.420 What does it say on this jar? 00:15:16.462 --> 00:15:17.838 "Craig." 00:15:17.922 --> 00:15:20.007 Well, I'm glad someone around here can read. 00:15:20.007 --> 00:15:22.009 These jars come with 14 pickles in them. 00:15:22.009 --> 00:15:24.011 I had three yesterday, two for lunch today 00:15:24.011 --> 00:15:25.679 and one-and-a-half for a snack, 00:15:25.679 --> 00:15:29.016 and now there are six-and-a-half pickles in this jar! 00:15:29.099 --> 00:15:30.434 Simple math indicates... 00:15:30.476 --> 00:15:32.311 Are you counting the one in your hand? 00:15:34.021 --> 00:15:35.731 Okay, false alarm. 00:15:37.733 --> 00:15:40.444 We burned his house down. We burned his house down. 00:15:45.699 --> 00:15:48.285 Oh, this is the guy. 00:15:48.369 --> 00:15:49.286 This is Francis. 00:15:49.370 --> 00:15:50.704 What I want to know is, 00:15:50.746 --> 00:15:51.914 how did you get the cow 00:15:51.956 --> 00:15:53.540 onto the roof of the gymnasium 00:15:53.582 --> 00:15:54.750 in the first place? 00:15:54.792 --> 00:15:55.751 Ah, that was easy. 00:15:55.793 --> 00:15:57.127 The parachute was the problem. 00:15:57.211 --> 00:15:58.587 Did you know those things don't open 00:15:58.629 --> 00:16:00.631 unless you're thousands of feet in the air? 00:16:00.714 --> 00:16:02.383 You live, you learn. 00:16:02.383 --> 00:16:03.759 Did I ever tell you about that? 00:16:03.801 --> 00:16:05.094 No. 00:16:05.135 --> 00:16:07.680 Look at this: archery, debating, field hockey... 00:16:07.721 --> 00:16:09.723 Look at all these clubs and teams, 00:16:09.723 --> 00:16:11.225 and you're not in any of them. 00:16:11.308 --> 00:16:14.061 There isn't even a picture of you in the yearbook. 00:16:14.061 --> 00:16:16.063 Look under Pete Zahut. 00:16:16.063 --> 00:16:18.399 I don't want to look under Pete Zahut. 00:16:18.482 --> 00:16:20.067 No, no, no, if you say it fast, it sounds like... 00:16:20.067 --> 00:16:21.151 I don't believe this. 00:16:21.193 --> 00:16:24.238 Francis... don't you care about anything? 00:16:24.321 --> 00:16:25.322 What? 00:16:25.364 --> 00:16:27.574 In a school filled with problem children, 00:16:27.574 --> 00:16:29.910 you're the worst one here. 00:16:32.079 --> 00:16:33.080 Wait, that's not true. 00:16:33.080 --> 00:16:34.707 I can think of three other guys 00:16:34.748 --> 00:16:36.166 with longer records than I have. 00:16:36.208 --> 00:16:37.918 We have worked and we've worked, 00:16:37.918 --> 00:16:40.170 trying anything we can think of to turn you around, 00:16:40.212 --> 00:16:42.089 but nothing seems to get through to you. 00:16:42.089 --> 00:16:43.966 Come on, Dad. 00:16:44.008 --> 00:16:46.635 No. You don't give a damn about anything but yourself! 00:16:46.677 --> 00:16:48.971 And, Francis, I don't like saying these things, 00:16:49.013 --> 00:16:50.472 but what am I supposed to do? 00:16:50.514 --> 00:16:52.933 I-I feel like I have to give up on my own son. 00:16:52.933 --> 00:16:53.976 Dad... 00:16:54.018 --> 00:16:57.312 You know, I can't even look at you right now. 00:16:59.023 --> 00:17:01.942 I don't remember if we're hating each other 00:17:01.942 --> 00:17:04.111 or liking each other, but either way 00:17:04.111 --> 00:17:05.362 I appreciate this. 00:17:05.446 --> 00:17:06.989 Ah, it's been two hours, Reese. 00:17:07.031 --> 00:17:08.699 The swelling isn't going down. 00:17:08.782 --> 00:17:10.659 Look, you can see his heartbeat. 00:17:10.701 --> 00:17:13.370 Oh, man. We really need to get you to the hospital. 00:17:13.412 --> 00:17:16.123 We can't! Mom will kill us if she finds out about the bike. 00:17:16.123 --> 00:17:17.541 This isn't about the bike! 00:17:17.583 --> 00:17:19.418 We're *ed for the next five years 00:17:19.460 --> 00:17:20.627 on anything we'd like to do. 00:17:22.129 --> 00:17:24.548 There's got to be some way we can get you to the hospital 00:17:24.590 --> 00:17:25.799 before she finds out. 00:17:25.799 --> 00:17:27.384 Then we could come up with a cover story. 00:17:27.426 --> 00:17:29.303 Could you handle that? Because I'm going to scream 00:17:29.303 --> 00:17:31.138 into my pillow for the next five minutes. 00:17:31.138 --> 00:17:34.641 There's got to be some way we can do this. 00:17:34.641 --> 00:17:36.477 Have you seen Jellybean's sweater? 00:17:38.645 --> 00:17:40.981 I don't know why we have to go all the way across town. 00:17:40.981 --> 00:17:42.149 Seems kind of silly. 00:17:42.149 --> 00:17:45.152 Craig, I promise, it's the best ice cream in town. 00:17:45.152 --> 00:17:47.029 Yeah, well, I'll be the judge of that. 00:17:49.156 --> 00:17:50.324 What was that? 00:17:50.365 --> 00:17:52.534 REESE: Ow! 00:17:52.576 --> 00:17:53.744 Ow, my leg! 00:17:53.827 --> 00:17:56.038 Ow. Ow. 00:17:56.080 --> 00:17:58.415 Ow! Ow! Ow! 00:17:58.499 --> 00:18:00.042 Ow! 00:18:00.084 --> 00:18:02.044 Oh, my God! What did I do? What did I do? 00:18:02.086 --> 00:18:03.212 You ran over his leg! 00:18:04.838 --> 00:18:06.006 What happened? 00:18:06.006 --> 00:18:08.050 Oh, my God! Reese! 00:18:08.092 --> 00:18:09.468 Ow! 00:18:09.510 --> 00:18:11.220 Ow! 00:18:13.305 --> 00:18:16.767 Oh, for God's sakes, Jonathan, pull yourself together. 00:18:16.809 --> 00:18:18.894 He'll be home for your birthday. 00:18:20.312 --> 00:18:22.356 You got a problem? 00:18:29.863 --> 00:18:31.532 An untucked 00:18:31.615 --> 00:18:32.658 shirttail, Cadet? 00:18:32.699 --> 00:18:34.660 Is that what we teach you here? 00:18:34.701 --> 00:18:36.203 To disgrace your uniform? 00:18:36.203 --> 00:18:38.205 I think not. 00:18:38.205 --> 00:18:39.289 Sir, his shirt just came untucked 00:18:39.331 --> 00:18:41.208 when he was hugging his father. 00:18:41.208 --> 00:18:42.209 You can't yell at him 00:18:42.209 --> 00:18:43.293 for hugging his father. 00:18:43.335 --> 00:18:44.878 Francis... No. 00:18:44.878 --> 00:18:47.047 No, I'm glad you saw this. 00:18:47.131 --> 00:18:49.216 This is exactly what I was talking about. 00:18:49.216 --> 00:18:52.136 Always undermining my authority. 00:18:52.177 --> 00:18:54.721 Day in, day out, it's the same thing. 00:18:54.721 --> 00:18:58.475 Like when I had Cadet Dooley run 600 laps of the perimeter 00:18:58.559 --> 00:19:01.103 for an inside-out pillowcase violation, 00:19:01.145 --> 00:19:03.313 Francis organizes a sit-in. 00:19:03.397 --> 00:19:05.149 Or when I cut off the electricity 00:19:05.232 --> 00:19:08.110 to the fifth floor for a contraband boom box, 00:19:08.152 --> 00:19:09.403 he hijacks a generator 00:19:09.403 --> 00:19:10.988 for them. 00:19:11.071 --> 00:19:14.116 The boy lives to cause chaos. 00:19:14.158 --> 00:19:15.909 He was hugging his dad! 00:19:15.951 --> 00:19:17.744 In front of his own father, 00:19:17.786 --> 00:19:20.122 he still defies me at every turn. 00:19:20.164 --> 00:19:22.082 And every time something like that happens, 00:19:22.082 --> 00:19:23.125 he challenges you? 00:19:23.167 --> 00:19:24.293 Every time. 00:19:24.334 --> 00:19:26.295 Even when he knows he'll get in trouble? 00:19:26.336 --> 00:19:29.006 That doesn't seem to matter to him at all. 00:19:31.258 --> 00:19:32.926 I understand. 00:19:32.968 --> 00:19:37.139 I will deal with you later. 00:19:37.181 --> 00:19:38.974 Look, Dad, I just want to... 00:19:39.057 --> 00:19:40.893 Shut up, son. 00:19:43.020 --> 00:19:44.146 Oh, come here. 00:19:49.109 --> 00:19:51.069 I can't believe that plan actually worked. 00:19:51.111 --> 00:19:53.280 We came up with it in, like, two seconds. 00:19:53.322 --> 00:19:55.449 Maybe we should do more things half-assed. 00:19:55.490 --> 00:19:56.950 Hey, Reese, how's your leg? 00:19:56.992 --> 00:19:58.076 Not bad. 00:19:58.118 --> 00:19:59.995 The pain goes away when I black out. 00:20:00.037 --> 00:20:01.163 You guys want anything to drink? 00:20:01.246 --> 00:20:02.414 Sure. Great. All right. 00:20:02.456 --> 00:20:03.665 One more thing. 00:20:04.833 --> 00:20:06.418 Did you really think I wouldn't notice 00:20:06.460 --> 00:20:10.130 a busted up minibike half-buried in the sandbox? 00:20:12.132 --> 00:20:13.800 Jellybean and I are leaving now. 00:20:13.842 --> 00:20:15.177 Once again, I'm very sorry. 00:20:15.219 --> 00:20:17.638 I can't even look you people in the eye. 00:20:20.224 --> 00:20:24.478 I think we'll call this one a wash. 00:20:30.984 --> 00:20:32.194 I love you, Francis. 00:20:32.236 --> 00:20:33.654 Good-bye. 00:20:33.654 --> 00:20:35.072 Love you, too, Dad.