WEBVTT 00:00:08.120 --> 00:00:11.160 In this episode of Nostro Uomo in Italia... 00:00:12.760 --> 00:00:14.200 ...I address politics... 00:00:14.280 --> 00:00:17.280 Viva l'Italia! Viva l'Italia! 00:00:17.360 --> 00:00:18.800 So, prawns and nationalism. 00:00:18.840 --> 00:00:20.360 You don't get that at home, do you? 00:00:20.440 --> 00:00:22.000 ...identity... 00:00:22.080 --> 00:00:23.800 So that means I'm Idris Elba. 00:00:23.880 --> 00:00:25.000 - That's quite cool. - Yes. 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:27.840 ...and truth. 00:00:27.960 --> 00:00:29.280 Like a lot of things 00:00:29.400 --> 00:00:30.800 in subatomic physics, 00:00:30.840 --> 00:00:32.440 you'll have to just take our word for it. 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:34.840 Epic. 00:00:55.560 --> 00:00:57.840 Ah, look, that's la Mia Panda, 00:00:57.920 --> 00:00:59.840 driving along a road. 00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:01.320 I wonder where it leads. 00:01:03.120 --> 00:01:05.200 Well, as you can probably tell, viewers, the sun 00:01:05.280 --> 00:01:08.040 is beginning to set. I'm well on my way towards 00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:10.000 Rome. 00:01:10.080 --> 00:01:11.160 This person is 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:13.960 - Guia. Buon giorno. - Buon giorno. 00:01:14.040 --> 00:01:15.600 And, uh, she's agreed to be my guide 00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:17.520 for this episode. 00:01:18.720 --> 00:01:20.720 - Grazia. - Grazie te, James. 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:26.360 Yes, viewers, we're off to Italy's capital, 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.360 which, if we're going to stick with the old boot analogy, 00:01:29.440 --> 00:01:31.280 can be found around your kneecap, 00:01:31.360 --> 00:01:34.920 assuming you like boots that go up to your gluteus maximus. 00:01:38.200 --> 00:01:39.400 Is being Roman 00:01:39.440 --> 00:01:42.640 different from being any other type of Italian? 00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:45.440 We think we are represent the whole Italy. 00:01:45.520 --> 00:01:49.000 The Roman way is the best way to be Italian, you know? 00:01:49.080 --> 00:01:51.680 The reason, uh, Guia is driving 00:01:51.720 --> 00:01:53.120 is because she insisted that, 00:01:53.240 --> 00:01:54.840 as I'm not a Roman, and I don't... 00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:57.560 ...understand the rules of driving in Rome, 00:01:57.680 --> 00:01:58.920 it was better if she did it. 00:01:59.960 --> 00:02:03.240 Our view at home in Britain is that driving in Rome 00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:04.720 - is mad. - Mm-hmm. 00:02:04.800 --> 00:02:06.440 Uh, it's very furious. 00:02:06.520 --> 00:02:08.520 There are thousands of old Cinquecenti... 00:02:08.640 --> 00:02:10.200 ...dodging around. 00:02:11.760 --> 00:02:13.160 I want to drive you there, 00:02:13.200 --> 00:02:15.640 and then I will... I want you to drive there. 00:02:15.720 --> 00:02:17.040 You want me to take over when we're in Rome? 00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:18.040 - Yeah. - Okay. 00:02:19.480 --> 00:02:20.640 I want you to... you know... 00:02:20.720 --> 00:02:22.360 - And then you can critique. - Yeah. 00:02:22.440 --> 00:02:24.040 Yes. 00:02:24.160 --> 00:02:26.200 - Gosh, it's a bit like a driving lesson. - Mm. 00:02:26.320 --> 00:02:28.040 I am ready. 00:02:28.160 --> 00:02:30.400 Oh, la, la. Perfect. 00:02:30.480 --> 00:02:32.320 - Grazie. - Prego. 00:02:35.440 --> 00:02:36.960 Now, the first rule of driving in Rome 00:02:37.040 --> 00:02:39.760 is that your rules are wrong. 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:42.200 All right, here we go. 00:02:42.320 --> 00:02:44.360 Avanti, as Caesar said. 00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:46.600 Whoa! Wow, wow. 00:02:46.640 --> 00:02:48.840 Revolutione maximus. 00:02:48.960 --> 00:02:50.840 Ah, you like it. 00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:54.720 I've got it. 00:02:56.480 --> 00:02:58.080 I can't let him go. 00:02:58.120 --> 00:03:00.640 - Ooh, la, la. Oh, no, no. - Aw... 00:03:02.160 --> 00:03:03.720 - James. - Ah, I'm gonna 00:03:03.840 --> 00:03:04.920 go on the pavement a bit to avoid 00:03:05.040 --> 00:03:06.760 that one. There you go. 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:13.160 My Roman driving examiner is relaxed, 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:14.320 a good sign. 00:03:14.400 --> 00:03:15.440 Sì, sì. 00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:17.680 - Oh e oh e... - Sì. Uh... 00:03:17.760 --> 00:03:19.360 Oh... 00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:20.920 - No, arancione, you... - Yes. 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.840 Remember, if in doubt... 00:03:22.920 --> 00:03:25.160 - Mm... - Oh, that's a useful one. 00:03:25.240 --> 00:03:27.840 - I could've, I could've gone... - ...use hand signals. 00:03:27.920 --> 00:03:29.280 You're making me unhappy. 00:03:29.400 --> 00:03:30.760 - Oh, la, la. - Oh. 00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:33.000 The scooter riders are all a little bit... 00:03:33.080 --> 00:03:34.280 - Ooh-hoo. - Yeah. 00:03:34.360 --> 00:03:35.560 Ooh-hoo. Ooh-hoo. 00:03:35.640 --> 00:03:37.120 But not as bad as... 00:03:37.200 --> 00:03:38.760 No. Like... Ooh-hoo. 00:03:43.160 --> 00:03:44.680 - Ooh! - Is that bad? 00:03:44.760 --> 00:03:46.520 It's good, actually. 00:03:46.600 --> 00:03:48.440 Bravo. You made it. 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:51.320 Do you think I've passed my Roman driving test? 00:03:51.400 --> 00:03:53.880 - I think so, James. - Grazie. 00:03:55.280 --> 00:03:57.240 - Good job. - I'm not gonna do it again. 00:04:03.440 --> 00:04:05.720 While ancient Rome was all about 00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:07.720 architecture, culture, 00:04:07.760 --> 00:04:10.760 eating, drinking, and being Roman, 00:04:10.880 --> 00:04:13.360 modern Rome is completely the same. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:15.920 Questa sera, 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:18.240 Guia is taking me out for supper 00:04:18.320 --> 00:04:20.600 in a very fashionable part of Rome 00:04:20.680 --> 00:04:22.960 and to what is apparently 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.800 an extremely popular restaurant. 00:04:25.840 --> 00:04:27.840 - Bellissimo. - Bellissimo. 00:04:27.960 --> 00:04:30.240 Bellissimo. 00:04:33.200 --> 00:04:34.840 What is the name of this quarter? 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:36.720 - Estra Trastevere. - Welcome, hurry up 00:04:36.800 --> 00:04:40.520 and don't break our *, c'mon get on with it. 00:04:40.600 --> 00:04:42.800 - This is, uh... - Bit rough. 00:04:42.840 --> 00:04:44.960 Mm... You think? 00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:46.360 Sì. 00:04:46.400 --> 00:04:48.280 And to eat? 00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:49.520 - You... decide yet? - Well, I haven't decided yet. 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:51.080 We don't know yet. 00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:52.320 I haven't got all day. 00:04:52.400 --> 00:04:53.720 - Sorry? - Hurry up! 00:04:53.760 --> 00:04:54.840 Sorry, I didn't quite catch that. 00:04:55.000 --> 00:04:56.000 Hurry up! 00:04:56.120 --> 00:04:58.560 I'm finding the waiter's Italian 00:04:58.600 --> 00:05:00.240 rather hard to follow, but perhaps 00:05:00.280 --> 00:05:03.000 it's because I haven't mastered the nuances 00:05:03.040 --> 00:05:04.840 of the Roman dialect yet. 00:05:04.960 --> 00:05:07.480 He's a bit impatient, isn't he? 00:05:07.480 --> 00:05:08.840 What? 00:05:08.880 --> 00:05:10.280 Is the Bucatini good? 00:05:10.400 --> 00:05:12.240 What the * do you want! 00:05:12.280 --> 00:05:14.760 He said, "Cazzo." You know what it means? 00:05:14.880 --> 00:05:17.240 Cazzo? That's a type of Japanese food. 00:05:17.320 --> 00:05:19.240 No, cazzo is-is a *. 00:05:19.320 --> 00:05:21.160 "What the * do you want?" 00:05:21.200 --> 00:05:22.200 That's not even English. 00:05:22.320 --> 00:05:24.400 What do you respond in Italian? 00:05:25.840 --> 00:05:27.960 - Perfect. - We've come out for supper. 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:30.280 I haven't come out looking for a fight. Okay. 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:31.600 - Salute. - Salute. 00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:33.600 Mm. 00:05:33.680 --> 00:05:35.400 Maybe not, uh, the best. 00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:38.040 - It's a bit warm. - Mm. 00:05:38.120 --> 00:05:39.400 Okay. Scusi, 00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:41.040 senor, scusi. 00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:42.440 I'm British. 00:05:42.520 --> 00:05:44.440 I don't like to complain, but I'm also paying 00:05:44.520 --> 00:05:46.320 for dinner, and this is just 00:05:46.400 --> 00:05:47.920 non é good enough. 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.200 - Oh, hello. - Scusi. 00:05:50.280 --> 00:05:52.280 Hey, you done eating? 00:05:52.360 --> 00:05:53.840 You've taken forever and I need the table. 00:05:53.920 --> 00:05:55.720 The wine is not cold. 00:05:55.800 --> 00:05:57.240 You don't understand shit. 00:05:57.280 --> 00:05:58.680 He doesn't understand a thing. 00:05:58.760 --> 00:06:00.200 I speak it for you. 00:06:00.320 --> 00:06:01.840 * off. 00:06:01.960 --> 00:06:02.800 Do you understand? 00:06:02.920 --> 00:06:04.560 "Vaffanculo" means "* off." 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:05.760 Oh, fantastico. 00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:07.680 - Fantastico. - No. 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:10.040 If you don't want to know what I attempt to say to the waiter next, 00:06:10.080 --> 00:06:11.680 please look away now. 00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:15.080 You have the face of a boot. 00:06:15.200 --> 00:06:16.400 Di uno stivale? 00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:17.480 - Boot. - What the *? 00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:19.480 - It's an English insult. - I know. No, no, no, sir. 00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:21.480 Tradizionale Roman insulte. 00:06:21.520 --> 00:06:24.120 I don't understand a thing he says. 00:06:24.160 --> 00:06:26.320 It's not traditional in Rome. It's this place, I think. 00:06:26.440 --> 00:06:29.960 People flock here because we tell them to * off. 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:32.880 Ah. No, hang on. 00:06:32.960 --> 00:06:34.520 This is a rude restaurant. 00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:35.880 - Yeah. - Ah! 00:06:35.960 --> 00:06:37.080 - Oh! - Yeah. 00:06:37.160 --> 00:06:38.360 They insult you 00:06:38.440 --> 00:06:40.280 the minute you are sit. 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:42.320 - Sorry, James. - I was fooled. 00:06:42.400 --> 00:06:44.120 I was astonished that anybody 00:06:44.200 --> 00:06:45.840 would be that rude. Anyway... 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:49.000 The wine is not cold. 00:06:49.080 --> 00:06:51.080 - Non è freddo. - That's not for drinking, 00:06:51.160 --> 00:06:53.360 it's for washing your arse. 00:06:53.440 --> 00:06:54.920 I'm not interested in shoving it up your arse. 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:56.920 I'd just like it to be lower temperature. 00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:59.440 - You know... - Wash your *. 00:06:59.520 --> 00:07:04.080 Thank you, it tasted like I imagine my anus does. 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:05.800 Please give us five stars on TripAdvisor. 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:08.000 Yeah, sì. Ciao. 00:07:08.040 --> 00:07:10.040 Ciao. 00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:12.920 - Salute. Salute. - Salute. 00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:18.360 I just wanted to talk to you a bit 00:07:18.440 --> 00:07:20.320 about rude restaurant, which was quite good fun. 00:07:20.440 --> 00:07:21.880 But ultimately, the problem is 00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:23.440 if you don't speak the language properly, 00:07:23.480 --> 00:07:25.240 then it's slightly confusing. 00:07:25.280 --> 00:07:28.560 But I have to say I did learn a lot of new words, 00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:31.920 most of which didn't appear on your screens, I'm afraid. 00:07:31.960 --> 00:07:36.360 And I do at least now know what that newsagent in Naples 00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:38.680 was saying to me. 00:07:41.080 --> 00:07:43.320 I forgive Guia for trying 00:07:43.400 --> 00:07:45.320 to make me look like a cazzo on my first night 00:07:45.400 --> 00:07:46.520 and agree to meet again 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:48.440 the next day. 00:07:48.520 --> 00:07:51.080 Now, when I signed up to explore Italy, 00:07:51.160 --> 00:07:54.400 I thought it would be shades and linen shirts all the way, 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:56.880 not this damp Manchester tribute act. 00:07:56.960 --> 00:07:59.080 But I lend Guia 00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:00.960 a boring British green anorak, 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:03.480 and we press on to see the sights. 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:09.520 Fantastic. So that's 00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:10.360 - where the pope lives. - Yeah. 00:08:10.480 --> 00:08:12.320 - Perfect. - And... 00:08:12.360 --> 00:08:13.520 this is Piazza some... 00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:15.040 It's not "Pinocchio," but it's a word 00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:17.240 - a bit like it. Pincio. - Pincio. Pincio. 00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:19.840 You know, this, uh, terrazza is famous because 00:08:19.960 --> 00:08:22.360 every Roman comes here to-to kiss it. 00:08:22.440 --> 00:08:25.440 Kiss them. Kiss each other. 00:08:27.120 --> 00:08:28.120 Beware. 00:08:30.680 --> 00:08:32.720 You have to wait for someone, 00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:34.080 - maybe. - Oh. 00:08:34.120 --> 00:08:36.680 We've edited out how long I waited 00:08:36.720 --> 00:08:38.960 for nobody to show up. 00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:42.360 Anyway, our first stop, a must-see for gods-botherers 00:08:42.400 --> 00:08:44.840 and pan fans alike, the Pantheon. 00:08:44.920 --> 00:08:46.720 That's quite fab. 00:08:46.800 --> 00:08:47.760 Is this the bit where 00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:49.080 - your father brought you as a child... - Yeah. 00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:51.600 - ...and then made you learn about it? - Sì, sì, sì. 00:08:51.680 --> 00:08:53.480 Papa Guia would have said 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:55.840 that the Pantheon has the largest and oldest 00:08:55.920 --> 00:08:58.840 unreinforced concrete dome in the world, 00:08:58.920 --> 00:09:01.560 has been in continuous use since the second century AD 00:09:01.640 --> 00:09:03.440 and costs so much to film inside, 00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:04.600 we're stuck alfresco. 00:09:08.840 --> 00:09:10.680 We could do with an umbrella, couldn't we? 00:09:10.800 --> 00:09:12.240 - Oh! Wow. - There's one. 00:09:12.320 --> 00:09:14.520 Wow. 00:09:14.560 --> 00:09:17.480 While Dante has his nine circles of hell, 00:09:17.560 --> 00:09:19.480 if you want to film in Italy, 00:09:19.560 --> 00:09:22.160 there are at least ten circles of bureaucracy. 00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:24.200 It's the rozzers. 00:09:24.360 --> 00:09:26.320 Italy is different from the rest of Europe 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:28.360 in that the view is not considered free. 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:30.160 You need permits to film things. 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:32.280 The moment you turn up with a film crew here, 00:09:32.360 --> 00:09:33.680 as if by magic, 00:09:33.720 --> 00:09:36.840 someone else turns up to check your permit. 00:09:36.880 --> 00:09:38.320 So, I-I'd advise if you want to say anything more 00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:40.240 about the Pantheon, I'd say it very quickly. 00:09:40.320 --> 00:09:41.560 - Okay, okay, okay. - Quickly. 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:43.560 The Pantheon. You got eight seconds 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:45.560 - starting now. - So, Pantheon... Okay, so, "Pantheon" 00:09:45.720 --> 00:09:48.560 means every-every god's... 00:09:48.720 --> 00:09:50.960 You know, Pantheon. You know. 00:09:51.040 --> 00:09:52.480 Every god's, uh... 00:09:59.560 --> 00:10:02.000 Next on our sodden tour of the ancient city, 00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:05.120 somewhere that's meant to be wet. 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:08.440 Scusi. Scusi. Mi scusi. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:10.240 It's the Trevi Fountain, 00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:14.640 and every day 3,000 euros... 00:10:14.760 --> 00:10:16.000 is thrown in here 00:10:16.080 --> 00:10:18.240 by tourists and locals 00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:20.120 in return for wishes granted. 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:24.280 - What are you wishing for? - I can't tell. 00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:26.480 Can't see. No! 00:10:26.560 --> 00:10:28.240 - You missed. - Yeah, I missed. 00:10:28.400 --> 00:10:29.440 See if it goes in. 00:10:29.560 --> 00:10:30.920 I've made a wish. 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:32.400 Yes! 00:10:32.440 --> 00:10:34.160 You made it. 00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:38.240 Anyway, Rome is also home 00:10:38.360 --> 00:10:40.400 to many other architectural greatest hits. 00:10:40.480 --> 00:10:43.400 The Colosseum and the Forum, 00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:45.000 neither of which you can see here 00:10:45.040 --> 00:10:47.120 because they're also too expensive to film. 00:10:47.280 --> 00:10:50.640 But at least there's the Circus Maximus. 00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:53.240 So, this is Circus Maximus. 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:55.320 Or so I thought. 00:10:56.680 --> 00:10:59.880 The real problem, I think, with the Circus Maximus... 00:10:59.960 --> 00:11:01.080 Sì. 00:11:01.160 --> 00:11:03.800 ...is that it's largely notus therus anymore. 00:11:03.880 --> 00:11:05.440 No, you're right. 00:11:05.520 --> 00:11:07.480 - There's a... - You need a lot of imagination. 00:11:07.560 --> 00:11:09.600 - Do you know what would be really good? - What? 00:11:09.680 --> 00:11:11.000 If somebody had a tour bus... 00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:12.760 - Mm-hmm. - ...that went around Rome, 00:11:12.840 --> 00:11:15.960 that it mixed the real view of modern Rome out of the window 00:11:16.040 --> 00:11:19.240 with, like, virtual reality ancient Rome. 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:21.480 - An enhanced reality. - Oh. And, oh, and also, um, 00:11:21.560 --> 00:11:24.000 you know, the smell of ancient Rome. 00:11:26.240 --> 00:11:28.880 - Should we? Mm. - We've completed... Yes. Yes. 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:30.680 As if by magic, 00:11:30.760 --> 00:11:32.480 planned meticulously by the production crew, 00:11:32.560 --> 00:11:35.160 just such a thing turns up immediately. 00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.600 A virtual reality tour bus. 00:11:37.640 --> 00:11:39.000 Complete with permits. 00:11:39.040 --> 00:11:40.440 - Something's happening. - Everywhere. 00:11:40.480 --> 00:11:42.000 - Oh, wow, wow, wow. - Oh. 00:11:42.040 --> 00:11:44.200 - Oh. - Oh. 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:46.280 Oh, my God. 00:11:46.400 --> 00:11:47.920 Wow. Look at that. 00:11:48.040 --> 00:11:50.120 So, that's what 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:51.640 this bit of Rome would have looked... 00:11:51.680 --> 00:11:54.560 - Look at that. - Wow. Amazing. 00:11:54.680 --> 00:11:56.840 Unlike my previous experience 00:11:56.920 --> 00:11:59.320 of GPS-activated tours, guess what? 00:11:59.360 --> 00:12:01.400 This one works. 00:12:01.520 --> 00:12:03.720 And this is the Fori Imperiali, 00:12:03.760 --> 00:12:06.480 - ancient Forum. - Look, it's very good. 00:12:06.560 --> 00:12:08.880 - You can see right through the buildings. - Wow. 00:12:08.960 --> 00:12:11.280 Okay, this is very convenient, 00:12:11.360 --> 00:12:12.960 having a virtual Forum to look at. 00:12:14.000 --> 00:12:15.960 There's the Colosseum. 00:12:16.040 --> 00:12:17.600 Yeah. 00:12:17.680 --> 00:12:19.400 - Oh, wow. - That's quite good, isn't it? 00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:20.800 Yeah. 00:12:20.880 --> 00:12:24.960 People shouting and a strange smell of battle. 00:12:25.040 --> 00:12:27.240 That's the smell of a dismembered Christian 00:12:27.320 --> 00:12:30.640 who's just been torn to bits by lions. 00:12:32.680 --> 00:12:34.680 Oh, hang on. Here comes the real world 00:12:34.760 --> 00:12:36.720 - in all its disappointment. - And now we will see... 00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:41.640 - There is the real Colosseum... - Wow. 00:12:41.760 --> 00:12:43.000 - ...which you can't look at. - Yes. 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:45.200 - I want to... - The important thing is 00:12:45.320 --> 00:12:47.280 - if-if you're getting off the bus... - Yeah. 00:12:47.400 --> 00:12:49.480 ...make sure you get off in the modern world, 00:12:49.600 --> 00:12:51.400 - not ancient Rome. Otherwise, you'll be... - Sì. Yeah, that's important. 00:12:51.440 --> 00:12:52.840 - Yeah, you'll be stuck there forever. - Yeah. 00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:04.720 Oh, no. 00:13:04.840 --> 00:13:07.760 No sooner did I say that than we actually did 00:13:07.880 --> 00:13:10.920 get off the bus 2,000 years too early. 00:13:11.800 --> 00:13:15.320 Looks like we're in for one of those "when in ancient Rome" moments. 00:13:19.760 --> 00:13:21.840 Are you ready to learn how to fight and die 00:13:21.920 --> 00:13:23.480 like a gladiator? 00:13:23.560 --> 00:13:24.760 Yes. 00:13:30.040 --> 00:13:33.240 This is a real-life gladiator school, 00:13:33.320 --> 00:13:36.760 where anyone can pay to dress up in silly-looking costumes 00:13:36.840 --> 00:13:40.120 and learn to use not-so-silly-looking weapons. 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:43.760 Whether you leave in one piece, however, 00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:45.920 depends on two-bit Nero giving you 00:13:45.960 --> 00:13:48.200 the thumbs-up or the thumbs-down. 00:13:51.240 --> 00:13:53.200 Until then, 00:13:53.240 --> 00:13:57.040 we're in the culpable hands of trainer Atticus Fisticuffs. 00:13:57.160 --> 00:14:00.440 Okay, this is the gladio. 00:14:00.480 --> 00:14:02.280 - It's the most iconic weapon... - Gladio. I... 00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:04.880 - ...in the imperial Roman Empire. Yeah. - Oh, it's real. 00:14:05.000 --> 00:14:07.520 Equipment, yes, is real. 00:14:07.640 --> 00:14:08.920 - Are the deaths real? - Yeah. Uh-huh. 00:14:09.040 --> 00:14:10.560 - Real death? - Yeah. 00:14:19.280 --> 00:14:21.040 Wow. 00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:22.560 There are three main weapons 00:14:22.640 --> 00:14:25.080 to master if you want to be a gladiator. 00:14:25.160 --> 00:14:27.040 There's the mortifying sword. 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:30.880 - Right. The third blow on the neck. - Surely... Surely he's had it by now. 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:32.040 Go. 00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:33.960 The terrifying trident. 00:14:34.040 --> 00:14:35.640 This. 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:38.280 I'll just try that out on Tom, the director. 00:14:38.360 --> 00:14:39.600 So, I can go in the gut 00:14:39.680 --> 00:14:41.080 and round the head. 00:14:41.160 --> 00:14:43.720 - You need him. So... - Yes. Uh, no, we don't. 00:14:43.800 --> 00:14:46.240 And the... fishing net. 00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:49.640 Are we going to actually 00:14:49.720 --> 00:14:50.800 - fight to the death? - Yes. 00:14:51.760 --> 00:14:54.600 Ah. Well, if I'm about to cark it, 00:14:54.640 --> 00:14:56.040 they're probably going to edit in 00:14:56.160 --> 00:14:57.920 some clichéd training montage. 00:15:01.880 --> 00:15:03.960 - So, this... - Some of the gladiators 00:15:04.040 --> 00:15:05.960 were major celebrities, 00:15:06.040 --> 00:15:08.200 and feeding and housing them didn't come cheap. 00:15:08.280 --> 00:15:09.520 Yeah, great. 00:15:09.640 --> 00:15:10.680 So they weren't offed 00:15:10.800 --> 00:15:12.720 as much as Hollywood suggests. 00:15:14.160 --> 00:15:18.120 The tradition actually started during funeral ceremonies, 00:15:18.160 --> 00:15:20.560 where the spilling of blood 00:15:20.680 --> 00:15:23.800 was said to purify the souls of dead, rich Romans. 00:15:23.920 --> 00:15:26.240 In the nuts! 00:15:26.320 --> 00:15:27.440 Here we go. 00:15:27.520 --> 00:15:31.200 But then it became a mass spectator sport for the plebs. 00:15:31.280 --> 00:15:33.200 - Oh! - Oh, it just caught me. That was close. 00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:40.800 Anyway, back to my impending death. 00:15:41.840 --> 00:15:44.400 When the trumpet blows, 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:48.200 it's time to fight. 00:15:49.240 --> 00:15:50.760 Excuse me. 00:15:59.560 --> 00:16:01.400 As you can tell from the music, 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:02.920 this is deadly serious. 00:16:09.040 --> 00:16:11.360 How dare you turn your back. 00:16:13.840 --> 00:16:16.440 Who are you? 00:16:19.280 --> 00:16:24.440 I am known as James "Bim" May. 00:16:24.520 --> 00:16:28.280 Maker of travelogues. 00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.720 Collector of various motorbikes. 00:16:35.280 --> 00:16:37.120 And now your opponent. 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:41.360 Guia. 00:16:42.800 --> 00:16:44.000 Seriously? 00:16:47.560 --> 00:16:49.040 Aah! 00:17:05.560 --> 00:17:08.320 It is a brutal, unforgiving 00:17:08.440 --> 00:17:11.320 arena of combat, where no quarter is given 00:17:11.360 --> 00:17:13.520 and none is taken. 00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:22.000 Ow. 00:17:28.040 --> 00:17:29.000 - Whoo-hoo! - Wait. 00:17:29.040 --> 00:17:31.080 Peace. 00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:57.000 After my unceremonious demise yesterday, 00:17:57.080 --> 00:17:59.760 I decided to leave Guia behind in ancient Rome, 00:17:59.840 --> 00:18:04.560 because today, I fancy something futuristic. 00:18:04.600 --> 00:18:06.800 You know when you're staying in a hotel 00:18:06.840 --> 00:18:09.600 in an interesting city which is full of tourist sites 00:18:09.680 --> 00:18:12.480 and landmarks and interesting things to do, 00:18:12.520 --> 00:18:15.240 you get a collection of leaflets at "ricepiatzione" 00:18:15.320 --> 00:18:17.720 saying, "Come to the dinosaur park" 00:18:17.760 --> 00:18:19.960 and "Come to the museum of printing" 00:18:20.120 --> 00:18:22.160 and "Come and see the Colosseum." 00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:23.840 You never get one that says, 00:18:23.960 --> 00:18:26.520 "Come to the local rocket factory." 00:18:28.600 --> 00:18:32.360 Thirty-five miles southeast of Rome is Colleferro, 00:18:32.440 --> 00:18:37.000 a small town that's home to some really big stuff. 00:18:38.080 --> 00:18:40.880 Inside these unassuming modern walls 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:43.240 is a company that's made airplanes 00:18:43.320 --> 00:18:48.360 for over a hundred years and nowadays this: 00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:51.800 the Vega rocket for the European Space Agency, 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.360 which sends satellites and probes into orbit 00:18:55.400 --> 00:18:57.400 and an old nerd into a tailspin. 00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:01.640 Maggio, you are cleared for crap Italian. 00:19:02.840 --> 00:19:04.720 As the people who work here sometimes say... 00:19:04.800 --> 00:19:12.480 I'm not the man they think I am back home 00:19:12.560 --> 00:19:16.120 I'm a.... 00:19:16.240 --> 00:19:18.640 rocketman.- 00:19:24.520 --> 00:19:26.400 It's only taken half the film, 00:19:26.520 --> 00:19:30.360 but finally, I'm allowed to do something I like. 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:32.520 And there's no silly dressing up. 00:19:32.600 --> 00:19:35.320 We're going into the clean room 00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:37.640 and might actually be able to touch something 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:40.600 that's going to end up in space, which I get very excited about, 00:19:40.640 --> 00:19:44.320 because components that are incredibly humdrum, 00:19:44.440 --> 00:19:47.520 like M6 hex-headed *s, 00:19:47.600 --> 00:19:49.480 become very exotic 00:19:49.560 --> 00:19:53.080 when you know they're going to go into orbit. 00:19:53.120 --> 00:19:56.080 My head is enormous. 00:19:56.120 --> 00:19:58.200 - Aah! How's my hair? - Ah, okay, okay. All right. 00:19:58.280 --> 00:19:59.760 - You look cool. - Perfect. Really tight. 00:19:59.840 --> 00:20:01.240 - Is it really tight? - You look cool. 00:20:01.320 --> 00:20:03.200 - I don't look good, do I? - No. 00:20:03.280 --> 00:20:05.560 This is my first rocketing experience. 00:20:05.640 --> 00:20:06.960 - Yes. - So... 00:20:09.040 --> 00:20:10.640 This place is so advanced, 00:20:10.760 --> 00:20:12.720 - they even have a teleporter. - Let's go. 00:20:12.800 --> 00:20:14.800 Whoa! 00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:18.560 Or, as it turns out, 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:20.480 a Hoover for grubby humans. 00:20:20.520 --> 00:20:22.280 Dust-free. 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:25.760 This is actually the cleanest this film crew has ever been. 00:20:25.920 --> 00:20:27.760 Today, we'll be looking at stage four 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:29.320 of the Vega-C rocket, 00:20:29.360 --> 00:20:31.760 which is powered by a liquid propellant engine, 00:20:31.880 --> 00:20:33.320 allowing for multiple deliveries 00:20:33.360 --> 00:20:35.760 to a range of orbits on a single mission. 00:20:36.800 --> 00:20:38.800 - What is that bit? - So, 00:20:38.840 --> 00:20:40.200 this is one under preparation. 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:43.400 So, it's at an earlier stage. It's only the structure 00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:45.560 and some of the wiring you see here. 00:20:45.640 --> 00:20:47.440 Oh! Hey. 00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:48.800 Come and stick your lens in here. 00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:50.880 There's a huge amount of wiring. 00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:52.280 Giulio Ranzo, 00:20:52.280 --> 00:20:53.960 Avio's main rocket man, 00:20:54.040 --> 00:20:56.280 is naturally proud of his product, 00:20:56.360 --> 00:20:58.440 but I do have some concerns. 00:20:58.560 --> 00:21:00.640 And I hesitate to bring this up, 00:21:00.680 --> 00:21:03.640 but I have owned a number of Italian motorcycles. 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:05.880 Sometimes, the wiring is not very good. 00:21:05.960 --> 00:21:07.800 'Cause on the old Ducati, often, 00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:09.480 what should have been a red wire in the book 00:21:09.560 --> 00:21:11.640 - was blue. Mm. - Was-was... Yeah. 00:21:11.760 --> 00:21:14.560 Many of this wirings don't even come from us. 00:21:14.640 --> 00:21:17.040 They are put together by other companies 00:21:17.120 --> 00:21:18.240 - all around Europe. - Germans. 00:21:18.320 --> 00:21:19.520 So, we work with Germans. 00:21:19.600 --> 00:21:21.400 - We work with Swedes. - Oh, thank God for that. 00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:24.520 The rocket is only one and a half meters wide, 00:21:24.600 --> 00:21:26.800 just big enough for three. 00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:29.040 If you want to invade and go underneath this, 00:21:29.120 --> 00:21:30.480 - we can enter inside. - Yeah. 00:21:30.520 --> 00:21:32.720 I think this is actually the first time I've been 00:21:32.760 --> 00:21:34.760 - inside a rocket. - Yes. 00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:36.320 This is a very high-tech interior, 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:37.920 but if you look at the actual nozzle 00:21:37.960 --> 00:21:39.600 of the rocket motor here, 00:21:39.720 --> 00:21:41.000 this appears to have been bought 00:21:41.120 --> 00:21:45.800 from a, uh, retro '50s housewares market. 00:21:45.920 --> 00:21:49.640 It's a piece of Soviet Union technology 00:21:49.760 --> 00:21:53.840 that no one has ever done any better than them. You know? 00:21:53.880 --> 00:21:55.880 In many ways, rocket engineering, 00:21:56.000 --> 00:21:57.280 it's very complicated, 00:21:57.400 --> 00:21:59.120 but it's actually a great deal of simplicity. 00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:03.080 - Yes. We-we complexify things. - Yeah. 00:22:03.160 --> 00:22:04.920 But the law of physics are few, you know, 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:06.680 and pretty simple. 00:22:06.760 --> 00:22:10.440 Making a travelogue about Italy is lovely, yes, 00:22:10.520 --> 00:22:13.400 but a part of me is always in my shed. 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:17.120 There are bits of this that I can imagine 00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:19.200 making in my little workshop at home. I could... 00:22:19.280 --> 00:22:20.840 - I could do that with my pipe bender. - Yeah. 00:22:20.920 --> 00:22:23.840 Um, I could probably, on my lathe, 00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:24.920 make that bit. 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:27.120 Would you mind at some point 00:22:27.200 --> 00:22:30.160 having a word with the film crew about the correct use 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:32.280 of tapes and cable ties? 00:22:32.360 --> 00:22:34.280 - Because this is beaut... - Oh! 00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:36.280 - Aw, come on. - Oh! 00:22:36.320 --> 00:22:39.120 This is beautifully done. Very neat. 00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:41.480 It has to be. Rather than, 00:22:41.520 --> 00:22:45.360 say, lumps of Black Tac stuck on the windscreen of my car. 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:47.200 I think the difference is if it's me, 00:22:47.320 --> 00:22:49.480 no one gives a shit. 00:22:49.560 --> 00:22:51.120 That's... Could be. 00:22:51.200 --> 00:22:53.720 Can we go and see the future rocket? 00:22:53.800 --> 00:22:54.840 Yes, we can see. 00:22:54.960 --> 00:22:56.440 We cannot get too close, 00:22:56.560 --> 00:22:58.680 'cause I'm told we need to keep some secrets. 00:22:58.800 --> 00:23:00.240 - So, we'll see how we do. - Oh, okay. 00:23:00.360 --> 00:23:01.640 I won't say anything. 00:23:06.400 --> 00:23:08.960 For security reasons, the crew weren't allowed in, 00:23:09.040 --> 00:23:10.720 so they had to watch through the window. 00:23:10.800 --> 00:23:15.160 Yeah, that looks like a turbo. Quite a beefy one, actually. 00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:17.720 A bit like people who couldn't afford a telly 00:23:17.800 --> 00:23:19.080 in the olden days. 00:23:19.160 --> 00:23:20.480 Oh! 00:23:20.560 --> 00:23:23.160 That-that gets your interest, doesn't it? 00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:25.360 Yeah. 00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:27.960 Oh, no, he's on the tools. We're never gonna get him out. 00:23:28.040 --> 00:23:29.720 You're probably still wondering 00:23:29.800 --> 00:23:32.040 what I wished for at the Trevi Fountain. 00:23:32.120 --> 00:23:34.280 It's nice to be left alone with someone else 00:23:34.360 --> 00:23:36.800 who appreciates the finer things in life. 00:23:36.880 --> 00:23:38.840 Yes, the socket set. 00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:40.840 - Oh, too... - Oh, and a few pens and things. 00:23:40.920 --> 00:23:44.320 Sharing the joy of beautiful things. 00:23:44.360 --> 00:23:47.240 Ah, the essential magnet on a stick. 00:23:47.320 --> 00:23:50.320 At last, I've found my forever home. 00:23:50.360 --> 00:23:54.160 Oh, this is fantastic. 00:24:02.960 --> 00:24:05.440 Apparently, a tool chest isn't for life after all. 00:24:05.480 --> 00:24:07.240 It's only for Christmas at best. 00:24:07.280 --> 00:24:10.200 I was told the socket set had to be put down. 00:24:10.280 --> 00:24:12.280 Back to the day job. 00:24:13.440 --> 00:24:15.080 There are three essential elements 00:24:15.160 --> 00:24:16.560 to any Italian high street. 00:24:16.640 --> 00:24:19.680 They are clothing, cafés and ice cream. 00:24:19.760 --> 00:24:22.360 You might get a small hardware shop. 00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:25.280 You might get a chemist. You might even get a gioielliere. 00:24:25.360 --> 00:24:28.920 But you will always have clothing, cafés and ice cream. 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:32.720 So, today, what I thought we'd do is make some ice cream. 00:24:32.800 --> 00:24:34.720 And we're going to turn this little adventure 00:24:34.800 --> 00:24:38.880 into an Anglo-Italian collaborazione. 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:40.720 It all begins in this market, 00:24:40.800 --> 00:24:42.360 where I'm gonna buy some ingredients. 00:24:42.440 --> 00:24:45.520 And this gives me an excellent opportunity 00:24:45.600 --> 00:24:48.720 to try out some of the Italian words I've learned. 00:25:00.280 --> 00:25:03.080 Pomidoro. L'uva. 00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:05.120 Arancio. 00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.440 Seven carrots, if you please. 00:25:08.560 --> 00:25:11.560 Perfetto. Grazie mille. 00:25:13.560 --> 00:25:17.520 Hello, do you have any peeled shrimps? 00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:20.120 Viva l'Italia! 00:25:20.240 --> 00:25:21.160 Viva l'Italia! 00:25:21.240 --> 00:25:22.560 So, prawns and nationalism. 00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:24.280 You don't get that at home, do you? 00:25:24.360 --> 00:25:26.600 Armed with my ingredients, 00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:28.960 it's gelato'clock. 00:25:32.800 --> 00:25:35.640 Marco and Venezia have been making their gelato 00:25:35.720 --> 00:25:37.560 for the last ten years and claim 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:39.840 they can make ice cream out of anything. 00:25:39.920 --> 00:25:41.600 Scopriamolo. 00:25:43.280 --> 00:25:45.840 Oh, they've spelt "gelato" wrong. 00:25:48.200 --> 00:25:50.760 Now, I said this was going to be a, uh, 00:25:50.840 --> 00:25:53.880 Anglo-Italian ice cream, and it is, 00:25:53.960 --> 00:25:55.520 but what I thought we'd do is make 00:25:55.640 --> 00:25:58.120 a carrot and coriander ice cream. 00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:02.560 It's a bit like a sort of rather nice left-wing British cake, 00:26:02.680 --> 00:26:05.400 and then prawn cocktail. 00:26:05.520 --> 00:26:07.960 And that's not quite such a daft idea as it sounds, 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:09.600 because if you were watching our Japanese series, 00:26:09.720 --> 00:26:12.120 you'll know that fishy, savory ice cream is a thing. 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:13.920 It's the sort of thing Heston Blumenthal would do, 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:15.800 you know, without even blinking. 00:26:19.640 --> 00:26:22.680 So, what Marco's saying is that carrots, being orange, 00:26:22.800 --> 00:26:24.720 are the color of joy. I would agree with him on that. 00:26:24.840 --> 00:26:26.880 I have an orange car 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:29.040 and an orange refrigerator at home for that reason. 00:26:29.120 --> 00:26:31.440 Let's leap forward in the action to a point where the carrots 00:26:31.520 --> 00:26:34.240 have been boiled for the appropriate length of time 00:26:34.320 --> 00:26:36.360 and blended into a paste. 00:26:40.440 --> 00:26:42.440 Here it is. 00:26:42.520 --> 00:26:44.480 The carrots are pureed. 00:26:44.560 --> 00:26:46.480 You spread it all over your car? 00:26:46.560 --> 00:26:48.560 - It's ready. - Oh, it's ready. Okay. 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:51.120 It's ready to go in the ice cream machine. 00:26:55.080 --> 00:26:57.320 Now for the really good bit. To make this stuff, 00:26:57.400 --> 00:26:59.520 you need some high tech. 00:26:59.600 --> 00:27:01.720 This machine is from the 1970s. 00:27:01.840 --> 00:27:05.720 This has been in continuous operation ever since. So... 00:27:05.840 --> 00:27:07.440 It's a sort of alchemy, 00:27:07.520 --> 00:27:09.920 transforming liquid beta-carotene 00:27:10.040 --> 00:27:12.560 into solid joy. 00:27:12.680 --> 00:27:14.520 - Can you turn this one? - Yes. 00:27:14.560 --> 00:27:16.400 It's a bit like using a milling machine 00:27:16.520 --> 00:27:18.840 - or a pillar drill. - Yeah. 00:27:18.960 --> 00:27:20.760 This machine has two functions. 00:27:20.800 --> 00:27:22.440 One is to chill the mixture. 00:27:22.560 --> 00:27:25.160 The other is to stir it in such a way 00:27:25.240 --> 00:27:27.840 that it's fluffed up slightly and becomes more leggero, 00:27:27.880 --> 00:27:29.040 lighter. 00:27:31.120 --> 00:27:33.280 - Oh, look at that! - Okay. 00:27:33.320 --> 00:27:35.720 Can you see the consistency of the mixture 00:27:35.800 --> 00:27:38.200 is changing as it's stirred and chilled? 00:27:38.280 --> 00:27:41.280 This is very satisfying to watch. 00:27:41.360 --> 00:27:44.160 While my carrots churn away, 00:27:44.240 --> 00:27:47.160 let's watch Marco make the Marie Rose sauce 00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:48.480 for my prawn cocktail flavor 00:27:48.560 --> 00:27:50.400 using salad cream, 00:27:50.480 --> 00:27:54.200 ketchup and the essential part of any ice cream... 00:27:54.280 --> 00:27:56.320 This, if you're watching in America, 00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:58.640 is "Wor-cester-shire" sauce. 00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:00.440 A tiny... Ooh. 00:28:00.520 --> 00:28:02.520 That's three, four drops. 00:28:02.600 --> 00:28:04.920 Once everything is blended together... 00:28:06.880 --> 00:28:08.880 ...it's into the machine... 00:28:09.000 --> 00:28:11.760 Here it goes, ready to start rotating 00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:14.320 as it engages. There. 00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:16.160 ...which works exactly the same on a prawn 00:28:16.280 --> 00:28:17.760 as it does on a carrot, 00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:19.880 so let's cut to the tasting. 00:28:22.680 --> 00:28:25.000 Hey, that's not bad, you know. 00:28:25.040 --> 00:28:27.560 After the joyful carrot and coriander, 00:28:27.600 --> 00:28:29.200 it's prawn cocktail. 00:28:29.320 --> 00:28:31.040 Actually, I'm going to go as far as to say that would be 00:28:31.160 --> 00:28:32.200 a better starter 00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:35.160 to your traditional English '70s dinner party 00:28:35.240 --> 00:28:36.840 than an actual prawn cocktail. 00:28:36.880 --> 00:28:38.680 Well, I would say that. 00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:43.360 Let's test this properly with an in-depth, on-the-street, 00:28:43.440 --> 00:28:47.760 vox pop market research focus group survey thing. 00:28:47.840 --> 00:28:49.440 Free, strange ice cream. 00:28:49.520 --> 00:28:51.840 Gelato strano. 00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:54.000 - No, thank you. - Oh. 00:28:55.480 --> 00:28:56.520 You made this? 00:28:56.600 --> 00:28:57.920 Yes. 00:28:58.000 --> 00:28:59.720 - I like it. - You like it. 00:28:59.800 --> 00:29:02.920 - Carrot and coriander, dieci punti. - Ten points. 00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:04.680 What about my other backwards gelato? 00:29:04.760 --> 00:29:08.160 - Did you make these? - Mm? Sì. 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:10.200 - Chef? - Sì. 00:29:10.280 --> 00:29:13.840 I made these with your prawns. 00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:16.440 - Very good. - That means "delicious." 00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:19.680 Well, I think I might have got away with it. 00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:23.120 Gelato. Bringing communities together. 00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:26.560 - Oui. Thank you very much. - Grazie. 00:29:26.680 --> 00:29:28.920 And that brings to an end that sequence in which I make 00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:32.400 gelato... what did I make? 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:36.720 Gelato strano e gratis. 00:29:36.800 --> 00:29:38.240 - Strano. - You're welcome. 00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:44.480 Plus, a little rub from the locals never goes amiss. 00:29:51.800 --> 00:29:54.240 It's day three of my Roman Holiday... 00:29:54.320 --> 00:29:56.320 I mean, my Italian Job... 00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:58.480 and I'm delighted to say it's not raining. 00:29:58.560 --> 00:30:02.240 I might put a nice scarf on for this. 00:30:02.320 --> 00:30:05.160 We were talking about La Dolce Vita, 00:30:05.240 --> 00:30:08.280 and if you've seen the film anywhere other than in Italy, 00:30:08.360 --> 00:30:10.160 it will have been subtitled. 00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:14.080 But, if you're in Italy and you watch a foreign film here, 00:30:14.160 --> 00:30:16.440 it will be dubbed, because apparently 00:30:16.520 --> 00:30:19.320 Italians don't like subtitles. 00:30:27.080 --> 00:30:29.480 Actually, it's a bit more complicated. 00:30:29.520 --> 00:30:32.960 In the 1950s, many Italians still spoke a regional dialect, 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:35.760 and dubbing in standardized Italian 00:30:35.880 --> 00:30:37.520 was something the government used 00:30:37.600 --> 00:30:39.400 to unify the language. 00:30:39.440 --> 00:30:42.520 So everything foreign had to be dubbed, and as a result, 00:30:42.600 --> 00:30:45.640 the Italian dubbing industry became a world leader. 00:30:49.280 --> 00:30:52.080 Now, it follows that because Amazon is a global platform 00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:54.120 that also offers next-day delivery, streaming music 00:30:54.200 --> 00:30:56.480 and more, there must be somebody in Italy 00:30:56.560 --> 00:31:01.040 with the rather dolorosa task of being me. 00:31:01.120 --> 00:31:03.960 Well, his name is Alberto, 00:31:04.040 --> 00:31:07.400 and he works in this dubbing studio here. 00:31:07.480 --> 00:31:10.280 So I'm going to go and meet me. 00:31:15.680 --> 00:31:18.840 - Good morning. - Buon giorno. 00:31:18.920 --> 00:31:20.960 Now, the interesting thing is Alberto has obviously had to 00:31:21.040 --> 00:31:25.240 play me all over the world, tutti la monda, and bizarrely, 00:31:25.320 --> 00:31:28.080 - you are also Idris Elba? - Yes. 00:31:28.120 --> 00:31:30.960 - Same voice? - Same voice, obviously. 00:31:31.080 --> 00:31:32.760 So that means I'm Idris Elba. 00:31:32.880 --> 00:31:34.920 - That's quite cool. Excellent. - Yes. 00:31:37.160 --> 00:31:40.720 Today, Francesco the director and Enzo the sound engineer 00:31:40.760 --> 00:31:44.400 are dubbing the first episode of this very series, 00:31:44.520 --> 00:31:46.000 from a few hours ago. 00:31:46.040 --> 00:31:47.960 Don't let me put you off. 00:31:48.000 --> 00:31:51.880 This is me in Sicily, harping on about La Dolce Vita. 00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:54.880 - From-from the, from the top, okay? - Okay. 00:32:15.560 --> 00:32:17.920 It doesn't just have to fit, it has to be translated 00:32:18.000 --> 00:32:19.680 and spoken in such a way 00:32:19.760 --> 00:32:22.520 that the sense and the mood of what I'm saying 00:32:22.600 --> 00:32:24.760 is the same for an Italian audience 00:32:24.840 --> 00:32:27.520 as the English version is for an English audience. 00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:35.240 I suspect this is a lot harder than it looks. 00:32:37.920 --> 00:32:40.040 For me it's perfect! 00:32:40.120 --> 00:32:41.520 Bravo. Bravo, signore. 00:32:44.120 --> 00:32:46.760 So, obviously, I'm having a go myself 00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:50.520 with a scene the crew prepared earlier starring Italian me 00:32:50.560 --> 00:32:52.400 and Italian Giua. 00:32:54.600 --> 00:32:57.200 Now I just need to be the English everyone. 00:32:57.280 --> 00:32:59.760 Tutti gli ingelsi. 00:32:59.840 --> 00:33:01.000 Hang on... 00:33:01.040 --> 00:33:03.440 - You're overlooking something. - What? 00:33:03.480 --> 00:33:04.880 I don't really speak Italian. I can only say, 00:33:04.920 --> 00:33:06.280 "Io mangio una mela." 00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:08.760 Okay, so can I have a minute to try and work out 00:33:08.840 --> 00:33:10.560 what the bloody hell this all means? 00:33:10.640 --> 00:33:11.640 Yes. 00:33:11.720 --> 00:33:13.480 May I have a pencil? 00:33:14.640 --> 00:33:18.080 After five onscreen seconds of working it out for myself, 00:33:18.160 --> 00:33:19.520 it's my turn. 00:33:19.600 --> 00:33:22.920 For the benefit of you at home, you'll get subtitles. 00:33:23.000 --> 00:33:24.440 But I won't. 00:33:24.520 --> 00:33:27.080 Okay, from-from the top, okay? 00:33:27.160 --> 00:33:28.240 And action. 00:33:28.320 --> 00:33:30.440 Can I ask you a question, Guia? 00:33:30.520 --> 00:33:31.960 What is James like? 00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:35.600 Guia, can I ask you something? Tell me. 00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:37.680 First thing, he is convinced he speaks Italian, 00:33:37.760 --> 00:33:40.400 but can't even say jewellery shop. 00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:44.640 Also, he has a fixation with carpentry, I don't know why. 00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:47.560 I now love James. Hah, he had me with his Italian. 00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:49.520 He can say gioielleria. 00:33:49.560 --> 00:33:51.960 I'm fixated with his face and hair. 00:33:52.080 --> 00:33:55.320 In the car, he blasts progressive rock all the time... 00:33:55.360 --> 00:33:58.840 and his hair is a permanent bird's nest. 00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:00.600 So he's a totally lost soul. 00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:02.240 Yes. 00:34:02.360 --> 00:34:04.760 In the car, he lets me play prog rock, 00:34:04.840 --> 00:34:07.840 and he has such a lovely, lovely scarf. 00:34:07.880 --> 00:34:11.080 I see. What a smart animal. 00:34:11.240 --> 00:34:13.080 - Perfetto? - Perfetto. 00:34:14.400 --> 00:34:17.360 Unfortunately, director Tom has spotted a flaw 00:34:17.440 --> 00:34:19.920 in our otherwise faultless idea for a scene. 00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:21.920 I think it's just too confusing for the viewers. 00:34:21.960 --> 00:34:23.320 The Italians won't know what the hell's going on. 00:34:23.400 --> 00:34:25.360 He's him being you being him but then he's gonna be... 00:34:25.440 --> 00:34:26.400 - No, he's not. - But then he's gonna 00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:27.640 - be you again at the end. - No! 00:34:27.720 --> 00:34:28.680 And then it's really confusing. 00:34:28.760 --> 00:34:30.960 - When he's being me, he's me. - Yeah. 00:34:31.080 --> 00:34:32.960 But when he is speaking Italian by himself being Alberto, 00:34:33.080 --> 00:34:34.800 he's Alberto, and then I'm him 00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:36.160 because I'm reading it in English. 00:34:36.240 --> 00:34:37.480 - So you're both each other? - Yes. 00:34:37.600 --> 00:34:39.280 - That's ridiculous. - No, it's not. 00:34:39.360 --> 00:34:43.320 - Hang on, let me ask the director. - No, hang on... 00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:44.680 Francesco, do you understand 00:34:44.760 --> 00:34:46.400 - what's going on? - Nothing. 00:34:46.480 --> 00:34:48.480 Alberto, do you understand what's going on? 00:34:48.600 --> 00:34:51.760 Yes. I like. 00:34:51.880 --> 00:34:55.520 See? "Yes, I like." Perfect. 00:34:58.880 --> 00:35:01.000 I think that's an excellent demonstration 00:35:01.120 --> 00:35:04.240 about how the dubbing works. 00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:06.520 Please shut up. 00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:10.200 Now we've cleared all that up, 00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:12.440 the English version of the Italian Idris Elba is 00:35:12.560 --> 00:35:14.680 driving out to the east of Rome, 00:35:14.800 --> 00:35:18.000 towards the back of Italy's knee, in Abruzzo. 00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:23.680 An area of wide open spaces, of national parks 00:35:23.760 --> 00:35:26.680 and stunning views, like the lake at Campotosto. 00:35:29.680 --> 00:35:32.320 I just wanted to stop here for a moment, viewers, to say 00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:34.920 look at that. 00:35:34.960 --> 00:35:39.400 I mean, anywhere else that would be a sort of gray, cloudy day. 00:35:39.480 --> 00:35:42.640 But in Italy, even the clouds are bellissimo. 00:35:42.720 --> 00:35:45.200 It was Verdi-- he was a composer-- 00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:50.080 who said, "You may have the universe if I may have Italy." 00:35:52.600 --> 00:35:54.920 But he was right, though, look at that. Look at the water. 00:35:54.960 --> 00:35:57.240 It's fantastic. 00:36:02.640 --> 00:36:08.280 Looming large over the lake at Campotosto is the Gran Sasso d'Italia, 00:36:08.360 --> 00:36:10.880 the highest mountain in the Apennine Gap. 00:36:12.600 --> 00:36:16.600 It's a magnet for skiers, climbers, wannabe Bond villains 00:36:16.720 --> 00:36:19.960 and nuclear physicists with a penchant for hiding. 00:36:20.880 --> 00:36:24.600 Inside lies the world's largest underground neutrino 00:36:24.640 --> 00:36:27.840 and astroparticle physics laboratory. 00:36:27.880 --> 00:36:31.480 Which interferes with cameras... either that, or it's raining. 00:36:31.520 --> 00:36:33.520 So I'm now driving through the mountain, 00:36:33.640 --> 00:36:35.440 and I've got to go five kilometers, 00:36:35.480 --> 00:36:39.440 and then I will turn off into the laboratory itself, 00:36:39.480 --> 00:36:42.800 which is through a big, sliding steel door, 00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:45.080 sort of like Blofeld's lair. 00:36:48.600 --> 00:36:51.840 That's as far as you're allowed to go with a car. 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:52.920 And there's still another kilometer 00:36:52.960 --> 00:36:55.680 of scientific tunnels to go. 00:36:55.760 --> 00:36:58.120 So that's why I've brought with me a little piece of England 00:36:58.200 --> 00:37:00.720 in the form of... 00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:04.000 la mia bicicletta Bromptono folder. 00:37:04.080 --> 00:37:07.440 This is how I'm going to get around the world 00:37:07.520 --> 00:37:10.160 of top-end conceptual physics. 00:37:12.360 --> 00:37:14.280 Grazie mille. 00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:19.360 Inside three cavernous chambers, 00:37:19.400 --> 00:37:21.360 hewn deep into solid rock, 00:37:21.400 --> 00:37:25.040 is a world of subatomic experiments and dark matter. 00:37:29.040 --> 00:37:31.320 Now, dark matter is pretty mysterious stuff. 00:37:31.440 --> 00:37:34.280 It makes up 27% of the mass of the universe, 00:37:34.320 --> 00:37:36.280 but we can't see any of it 00:37:36.360 --> 00:37:38.880 because it's, well, very dark. 00:37:38.960 --> 00:37:42.120 So it's taken some Italian brains 00:37:42.200 --> 00:37:44.000 bigger than the largest available helmet 00:37:44.120 --> 00:37:46.200 to try and find it. 00:37:46.280 --> 00:37:47.360 - Nice to meet you. - Buon giorno, 00:37:47.440 --> 00:37:48.280 - and you. - Buon giorno. 00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:49.680 Sorry about that. I overshot slightly. 00:37:49.760 --> 00:37:51.480 I was enjoying myself. 00:37:51.600 --> 00:37:53.320 - Wow. - So... 00:37:53.400 --> 00:37:56.520 Anyway, this is no ordinary boffin in a helmet. 00:37:56.640 --> 00:38:00.600 Carlo is a neutrino hunter in a subterranean lair. 00:38:00.680 --> 00:38:03.440 Why put it inside the mountain? 00:38:03.520 --> 00:38:05.880 You're making life very difficult for yourself. 00:38:05.960 --> 00:38:09.200 The main point is that we have to be shielded 00:38:09.280 --> 00:38:11.320 from something called cosmic rays.... 00:38:11.440 --> 00:38:14.840 that are particles that are coming from outer space... 00:38:14.920 --> 00:38:16.480 and so we have to shield. 00:38:16.520 --> 00:38:18.560 The particles we are looking for, 00:38:18.560 --> 00:38:21.280 mainly Neutrinos and Dark Matter particles, are... 00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:26.440 so rare that we have to shield our experiments from natural radioactivity. 00:38:29.120 --> 00:38:31.640 Carlo detects his neutrinos in this apparatus, 00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:36.040 a kind of super-cooled, high-tech ice bucket. 00:38:36.080 --> 00:38:40.240 But it seems even one and a half kilometers of solid mountain 00:38:40.280 --> 00:38:42.400 isn't enough to protect their experiments 00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:45.000 from stray radiation. 00:38:45.120 --> 00:38:47.960 They also need ancient Roman lead. 00:38:49.960 --> 00:38:51.160 It's quite heavy. 00:38:51.240 --> 00:38:52.480 Very heavy. 00:38:52.600 --> 00:38:54.280 Two thousand years ago... 00:38:54.360 --> 00:38:58.000 close to Sardinia, there was a ship that sank... 00:38:58.120 --> 00:39:00.480 full of lead ingots. 00:39:00.600 --> 00:39:06.040 Our institute understood that it could be used for physics. 00:39:06.120 --> 00:39:08.680 - Can we put it down? - Yes. 00:39:10.560 --> 00:39:14.600 We use lead to shield our experiments from radioactivity. 00:39:14.680 --> 00:39:19.840 So the point is lead itself contains a radioactive isotope, 00:39:19.920 --> 00:39:23.560 Lead 210, that decays with time. 00:39:23.720 --> 00:39:28.760 If we take ancient lead, we can have an excellent material for shielding... 00:39:28.880 --> 00:39:30.760 completely free of radioactivity. 00:39:30.880 --> 00:39:32.000 I like that thought. 00:39:32.040 --> 00:39:34.400 This is bleeding-edge physics, 00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:36.320 but it's dependent upon 00:39:36.400 --> 00:39:40.040 Emperor Caesar. 00:39:40.040 --> 00:39:41.840 Oh, that's Emperor Caesar, right. 00:39:41.880 --> 00:39:43.760 - Yes. - That's his lead ingot. 00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:46.640 - Fingers, - Fingers, yes. 00:39:46.720 --> 00:39:49.480 Time to meet some more well-protected brains. 00:39:51.400 --> 00:39:53.080 I'm excited to continue our journey 00:39:53.160 --> 00:39:56.600 to the center of the Earth, because I'm allowed 00:39:56.680 --> 00:39:58.960 to help out with an actual experiment. 00:39:59.080 --> 00:40:02.240 So now you'll have the chance to help us to build 00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:05.600 something to really detect sub-nuclear particles. 00:40:05.680 --> 00:40:06.840 Epic. 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:12.000 After my second deep clean of the episode, 00:40:12.120 --> 00:40:14.920 it's time for particle physics. 00:40:14.960 --> 00:40:18.000 This is a crystal of Tellurium Dioxide. 00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:22.120 This particular crystal, when super-cooled, can pick up 00:40:22.240 --> 00:40:26.440 even the weakest traces of radioactive decay, 00:40:26.520 --> 00:40:30.880 which show up as an infinitesimal temperature increase. 00:40:30.920 --> 00:40:33.200 Fantastico. 00:40:33.320 --> 00:40:36.920 Now, viewers, it seems there may have been a slight error 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:38.720 in judgement on our part... 00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:40.560 I'm guessing the crystal goes... 00:40:40.600 --> 00:40:42.400 - Well, I press it in there... - Exactly. It sits there. 00:40:44.800 --> 00:40:46.680 ...in thinking you might be interested in seeing people 00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:49.240 dressed entirely in white... 00:40:49.280 --> 00:40:53.240 They are very tiny, 25 microns, gold wires. 00:40:53.280 --> 00:40:54.920 Well small. 00:40:54.960 --> 00:40:57.280 ...performing an experiment that we can't see... 00:40:58.400 --> 00:41:01.800 We're talking about the smallest events in the universe, I think, aren't we? 00:41:02.120 --> 00:41:03.800 Yes. 00:41:03.880 --> 00:41:05.440 ...and neither can you. 00:41:05.480 --> 00:41:08.440 - Did you get it? - Absolutely, yes. 00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:09.960 Like a lot of things in subatomic physics, 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:12.480 you'll have to just take our word for it. 00:41:12.600 --> 00:41:17.160 In fact, the amount of time an invisible physics experiment 00:41:17.240 --> 00:41:22.120 sustains on the screen is the half-life of Barium 122, 00:41:22.200 --> 00:41:24.680 which is right about now. 00:41:32.760 --> 00:41:36.280 I've collected Guia, who's refusing to talk to me 00:41:36.320 --> 00:41:39.960 because I wouldn't let her take part in the particle physics experiment. 00:41:40.080 --> 00:41:44.160 Maybe I can infuse her with what's coming up in the next scene. 00:41:45.600 --> 00:41:48.120 Now, there are two basic elements to this show. 00:41:48.200 --> 00:41:51.160 There are the things that I would like to do in Italy, 00:41:51.240 --> 00:41:54.240 and there are the things that the producer and the director 00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:55.840 think I should do in Italy. 00:41:55.880 --> 00:41:59.120 So I would like to look at Italian art and culture, 00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:01.880 a bit of science history, a bit of tech. 00:42:02.080 --> 00:42:05.080 Some food and wine, learn some Italian words. 00:42:05.160 --> 00:42:07.920 The producer and the directors would like me to do anything 00:42:07.960 --> 00:42:10.960 that involves dressing up and making me look like a total knob. 00:42:11.080 --> 00:42:13.480 So, we're on our way to meet some people who have 00:42:13.600 --> 00:42:16.760 chosen to live like hobbits from Lord Of The Rings. 00:42:19.480 --> 00:42:21.480 Guess whose idea that was. 00:42:21.600 --> 00:42:24.520 Can we have a slightly less cynical one, please? 00:42:24.640 --> 00:42:26.760 Less cynical? 00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:28.080 Hey, you'll never guess what, viewers! 00:42:28.160 --> 00:42:29.920 We're going off to dress up as hobbits. 00:42:29.960 --> 00:42:31.520 It's gonna be brilliant! 00:42:39.560 --> 00:42:41.680 Begrudgingly, we're off to Middle-earth, 00:42:41.720 --> 00:42:44.320 just off junction five of the ring road. 00:42:44.360 --> 00:42:46.880 There's nothing really "middle" about it, 00:42:46.920 --> 00:42:49.520 except in the "of nowhere" sense. 00:42:52.560 --> 00:42:55.560 On the face of it, this place looks pretty idyllic: 00:42:55.600 --> 00:42:59.600 beautiful countryside, quirky little huts, 00:42:59.640 --> 00:43:03.400 moustachioed men in flat caps and braces. 00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:09.800 This is the brainchild of one Nicolas Gentile, 00:43:09.880 --> 00:43:11.920 who, in a bid to escape the pressure of 00:43:11.960 --> 00:43:14.000 working as a pastry chef in Rome, 00:43:14.120 --> 00:43:17.280 decided to live as a hobbit. 00:43:17.360 --> 00:43:20.520 What I really want to know is, is this for real, 00:43:20.640 --> 00:43:22.960 or is it just a Tolkein gesture? 00:43:27.800 --> 00:43:31.640 You've got to hand it to him, he's a stickler for detail. 00:43:31.720 --> 00:43:33.960 No tree stump left unthumped, 00:43:34.080 --> 00:43:36.160 no field unswept. 00:43:37.360 --> 00:43:40.720 He's even got a life-size statue of a wizard. 00:43:40.800 --> 00:43:44.520 Buon giorno, Signore Gandalf. 00:43:44.640 --> 00:43:47.040 Now, I've never knocked on a hobbit door before, 00:43:47.120 --> 00:43:49.880 but I think I'm supposed to knock with a staff. 00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:52.320 And there's one here. Oh, there's also a bell. 00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:57.360 Buona sera, Signore Hobbit. 00:43:57.480 --> 00:43:59.560 Buona sera, James. 00:43:59.600 --> 00:44:01.240 La mia Italiano e caca. 00:44:01.360 --> 00:44:03.520 We can speak in Elvish if you want. 00:44:03.600 --> 00:44:05.680 La mia Elvisha e 00:44:05.800 --> 00:44:07.480 - even more caca. - Okay. 00:44:07.600 --> 00:44:10.080 Welcome in my hobbit hole. 00:44:12.080 --> 00:44:15.160 This is a very tiny hobbit house. 00:44:15.240 --> 00:44:18.360 In Tolkein language it's called a "smial." 00:44:18.440 --> 00:44:21.400 - Built into the, the hill. - Yes. 00:44:21.480 --> 00:44:24.280 My project is to build a real Shire. 00:44:24.360 --> 00:44:27.640 Not one hobbit houses, but a village. 00:44:27.720 --> 00:44:28.960 A hobbit village. 00:44:29.040 --> 00:44:32.920 Architectural drawings of hobbit houses are visible 00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:34.880 on this small hobbit table, 00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:37.840 along with un piatto di biscottii. 00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:44.760 If you come into the Shire and you don't eat anything, 00:44:44.840 --> 00:44:47.520 then you are not in the Shire. 00:44:47.600 --> 00:44:50.640 - Oh. - So, enjoy. 00:44:50.680 --> 00:44:53.920 I think this makes him lord of the jam rings. 00:44:54.040 --> 00:44:55.280 Salute. 00:44:55.320 --> 00:44:56.960 - Chin chin. - Chin chin. 00:44:57.080 --> 00:44:59.920 Grazie. Very good. 00:45:02.640 --> 00:45:04.720 We have also the wizard Gandalf. 00:45:04.840 --> 00:45:06.080 - Oh, Gandalf. - Gandalf the Grey. 00:45:06.200 --> 00:45:07.480 Oh, Gandalf is real. 00:45:07.600 --> 00:45:08.880 I didn't realize he was a real person. 00:45:08.920 --> 00:45:11.240 I thought he was a mannequin. 00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:14.160 I don't think he lives as a hobbit. 00:45:14.240 --> 00:45:16.200 It's like a Saturday thing, right? 00:45:16.280 --> 00:45:17.480 I think so, yeah. 00:45:17.560 --> 00:45:19.280 It's like playing football on a Saturday morning. 00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:21.200 He hobbits it up on a Saturday. 00:45:21.280 --> 00:45:23.320 Yeah, exactly. I play with my lathe, 00:45:23.400 --> 00:45:24.800 Tom mows the grass, 00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:26.920 you play football, he's a hobbit. 00:45:27.920 --> 00:45:31.600 I mean, if transporting plastic pumpkins around 00:45:31.680 --> 00:45:34.840 from A to B for no real reason is how you get your kicks, 00:45:34.920 --> 00:45:37.320 then this place is for you. 00:45:40.320 --> 00:45:43.320 Or maybe it's a cult. 00:45:44.600 --> 00:45:47.480 Well, what I might go and do is go and speak to Gandalf, 00:45:47.520 --> 00:45:49.800 who hasn't really said anything yet, 00:45:49.920 --> 00:45:51.360 and then see if, when he blinks, it says 00:45:51.480 --> 00:45:53.960 "save me" on his eyelids, or something like that. 00:45:54.080 --> 00:45:56.840 - Buona sera, Gandalf. - Buona sera. 00:45:56.960 --> 00:45:59.440 Um, are you okay? 00:45:59.560 --> 00:46:01.160 No, no. 00:46:01.240 --> 00:46:03.600 It's a cult. 00:46:05.200 --> 00:46:08.280 Living as a Hobbit is understanding 00:46:08.400 --> 00:46:13.640 that we are not made to live in big cities... 00:46:13.680 --> 00:46:14.160 or in social environments that don't suit humans. 00:46:14.160 --> 00:46:18.600 or in social environments that don't suit humans. 00:46:18.640 --> 00:46:19.200 We are meant to be with family and friends. 00:46:19.200 --> 00:46:22.240 We are meant to be with family and friends. 00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:30.280 Perhaps living this way is the key to a happy life. 00:46:30.920 --> 00:46:32.680 As you can tell, it's nighttime now, 00:46:32.760 --> 00:46:36.240 and Italian hobbits die hard, so there's... 00:46:36.320 --> 00:46:39.640 the obligatory vat of tagliatelle a la Baggins. 00:46:39.720 --> 00:46:43.640 Everyone's gobbling down the red wine. 00:46:43.640 --> 00:46:45.680 Buon appetito! Buon appetito! 00:46:45.800 --> 00:46:47.080 Salute. 00:46:47.200 --> 00:46:48.120 Chin chin! 00:46:48.120 --> 00:46:48.600 Chin chin! 00:46:48.680 --> 00:46:50.640 - In hobbit. - Grazie. Aye! 00:46:53.560 --> 00:46:54.760 This is great, yeah. 00:46:54.880 --> 00:46:56.520 - It's very nice. - It's great. Very nice food. 00:46:56.640 --> 00:46:58.960 - Being in good company, with my friend. - Yeah. 00:46:59.000 --> 00:47:02.800 I think it suits you, actually, if you don't mind my saying. 00:47:02.920 --> 00:47:06.120 So there you go. We came in search of la dolce vita, 00:47:06.200 --> 00:47:08.680 we dismissed it as a myth, and then we realized that 00:47:08.760 --> 00:47:12.200 it does exist here at hobbit farm. 00:47:12.280 --> 00:47:14.800 Salute! 00:47:14.880 --> 00:47:18.800 Right, let's get out of here before I feel too awks, 00:47:18.880 --> 00:47:22.440 or they burn Gandalf at the stake or something. 00:47:30.240 --> 00:47:32.840 The next morning, I returned to Rome 00:47:32.920 --> 00:47:35.760 for the inevitable arrivederci. 00:47:37.800 --> 00:47:40.840 - That's better, isn't it? - Yes, it is. Yeah. 00:47:40.920 --> 00:47:43.000 With the sun bathing the pope's house and... 00:47:43.040 --> 00:47:45.200 - It's amazing. - The sight of the obelisk. 00:47:45.240 --> 00:47:47.280 - James! - I know, we're just avoiding it. 00:47:47.400 --> 00:47:48.680 - Ya, ya, ya. - But... 00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:53.080 I mean, we've had a great time. 00:47:53.200 --> 00:47:55.480 - I've got a gift for you. - Really? 00:47:55.520 --> 00:47:56.480 - Yes. - Oh, no. 00:47:56.600 --> 00:47:58.440 - Uh, gift item, please. - Oh, no. 00:47:58.520 --> 00:48:00.520 Here's the gift, coming in magically. 00:48:00.640 --> 00:48:02.360 - Thank you. - Wow. Thank you. 00:48:02.480 --> 00:48:03.760 It's very special. I was... 00:48:03.880 --> 00:48:05.920 - Oh! - To be honest, I was going to keep it. 00:48:05.960 --> 00:48:08.520 - I shouldn't say that, but... - No! Whoa. 00:48:10.520 --> 00:48:12.600 Oh, nice. Nice box. 00:48:12.640 --> 00:48:14.040 You haven't seen it yet. 00:48:14.160 --> 00:48:15.880 But the box, the box is nice. 00:48:15.960 --> 00:48:18.920 No! Wow! 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:21.280 Wow, what is it? 00:48:21.360 --> 00:48:24.360 It's a really nice desktop rocket model. 00:48:24.440 --> 00:48:26.960 - Wow, it's amazing. Thank you. - So I wanted you to have it 00:48:27.040 --> 00:48:29.080 because I-I love it. 00:48:29.160 --> 00:48:31.560 I'm going to go now, because I don't like emotional moments. 00:48:31.640 --> 00:48:32.720 - Okay, okay. Let's go. - It's been a pleasure. 00:48:32.800 --> 00:48:34.720 I will stay here watching. 00:48:34.800 --> 00:48:37.040 - Goodbye. - Yeah, you're right. 00:48:56.440 --> 00:48:59.120 In three, 00:48:59.240 --> 00:49:01.480 two, one, action. 00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:05.680 And I love James. 00:49:05.720 --> 00:49:07.560 Ha ha, he had me with his Italian. 00:49:07.680 --> 00:49:09.240 He can say gioielleria. 00:49:09.320 --> 00:49:12.160 I'm fixated with his face and hair. 00:49:12.200 --> 00:49:13.600 - Coffee? - Grazie. 00:49:15.400 --> 00:49:17.160 - Thank you. - Grazie. 00:49:17.200 --> 00:49:19.400 In the car, he lets me play prog rock. 00:49:19.440 --> 00:49:22.360 And he has such a lovely, lovely scarf. 00:49:24.560 --> 00:49:25.960 I see.