WEBVTT

00:00:02.446 --> 00:00:04.781
Hey. How was your big
date night with Maya?

00:00:04.805 --> 00:00:05.782
Didn't happen.

00:00:05.806 --> 00:00:06.916
Oh, what?

00:00:06.940 --> 00:00:08.752
You were so excited for
the full sensory experience

00:00:08.776 --> 00:00:10.120
of unprotected *.

00:00:10.144 --> 00:00:12.756
Yeah. I was very excited to
test drive my new vasectomy.

00:00:12.780 --> 00:00:16.160
Unfortunately, my son Danny,
AKA the libido killer,

00:00:16.184 --> 00:00:18.262
came in with a, "soy elbow."

00:00:18.286 --> 00:00:21.098
You guys should just get
a hotel room and go nuts.

00:00:21.122 --> 00:00:22.299
Is that a real suggestion?

00:00:22.323 --> 00:00:24.401
That's something that you think
is in the realm of reality for me?

00:00:24.425 --> 00:00:27.124
Okay. God, you're so cranky.
Just have * already.

00:00:27.148 --> 00:00:28.505
- I'm not cranky, I'm just...
- You are cranky!

00:00:28.529 --> 00:00:29.973
No, I'm just telling you
what the reality is.

00:00:29.997 --> 00:00:31.441
That is what that is, is cranky.

00:00:31.465 --> 00:00:33.143
All available trucks respond.

00:00:33.167 --> 00:00:34.311
Report of a loose goose.

00:00:34.335 --> 00:00:35.445
Loose goose.

00:00:35.469 --> 00:00:36.913
The bird just arrived
in port from Hong Kong

00:00:36.937 --> 00:00:39.816
and needs to be quarantined
for possible avian flu.

00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:40.850
So this call is...

00:00:40.874 --> 00:00:42.008
A wild goose chase.

00:00:43.811 --> 00:00:45.446
The address is...

00:00:48.449 --> 00:00:50.460
1414 Hollingshead Avenue.

00:00:50.484 --> 00:00:52.363
- Truck 12 responding.
- Truck 8 responding.

00:00:52.387 --> 00:00:53.663
We got dibs.

00:00:53.687 --> 00:00:54.831
No. Actually, we have dibs.

00:00:54.855 --> 00:00:56.133
You guys got the last animal metaphor.

00:00:56.157 --> 00:00:58.602
Remember the elephant in the
room at the crazy bar mitzvah?

00:00:58.626 --> 00:00:59.803
Mm hmm.

00:00:59.827 --> 00:01:01.305
You guys got the one down
by the docks, the red herring.

00:01:01.329 --> 00:01:03.006
No, no, no. That turned out to be nothing.

00:01:03.030 --> 00:01:04.708
Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Go! Go!

00:01:04.732 --> 00:01:06.042
- There's a car in front of me.
- Go around!

00:01:06.066 --> 00:01:07.511
I'm gonna take Highland,
we're just around the corner.

00:01:07.535 --> 00:01:08.669
I was gonna say take Highland.

00:01:09.337 --> 00:01:10.480
Hey everyone.

00:01:10.504 --> 00:01:11.981
Just a reminder, we're doing
our animal adoption today

00:01:12.005 --> 00:01:14.732
so I'll need at least one team
back at the office.

00:01:14.756 --> 00:01:15.764
Get out of the way!

00:01:15.788 --> 00:01:16.886
Move! We're gonna miss this.

00:01:16.910 --> 00:01:19.212
Please do not cross over
the mid line of the seat.

00:01:22.683 --> 00:01:25.295
Truck 8 at the scene.
We have eyes on the goose.

00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:26.887
Repeat, we have eyes on the goose.

00:01:27.655 --> 00:01:29.032
Yeehaw!

00:01:29.056 --> 00:01:33.403
Truck 12 returning to precinct
for animal adoption day.

00:01:33.427 --> 00:01:35.071
Okay. Please don't say it like that, Frank.

00:01:35.095 --> 00:01:36.763
It's a big community event.

00:01:38.232 --> 00:01:41.077
Oh my God, that honk
just gave me goosebumps.

00:01:41.101 --> 00:01:44.248
We really got your goose on this one.

00:01:44.272 --> 00:01:45.349
That's a lot of puns.

00:01:45.373 --> 00:01:48.752
Frank, this goose is officially cooked.

00:01:48.776 --> 00:01:49.843
Nice.

00:01:50.197 --> 00:01:51.222
Hey!

00:01:51.246 --> 00:01:52.489
Come here, buddy. It's okay.

00:01:52.513 --> 00:01:53.681
Come here.

00:01:54.783 --> 00:01:55.915
- Whoa.
- Whoa.

00:02:23.084 --> 00:02:26.650
‌

00:02:27.881 --> 00:02:29.859
Today only,
free spay and neuter

00:02:29.883 --> 00:02:31.295
with any adoption.

00:02:31.319 --> 00:02:32.360
Hey.

00:02:32.384 --> 00:02:34.130
Hi. I really like this rooster.

00:02:34.154 --> 00:02:36.099
They are a big responsibility
if they're a pet.

00:02:36.123 --> 00:02:37.867
- Where do you live?
- I'm in the dorms.

00:02:37.891 --> 00:02:39.369
Ooh. Could I interest you in something else?

00:02:39.393 --> 00:02:41.070
Maybe a turtle or a long novel?

00:02:41.094 --> 00:02:43.540
- Um...
- What's up Precinct 22?

00:02:43.564 --> 00:02:46.142
Hey Rick! How you doing, buddy?

00:02:46.166 --> 00:02:48.812
Better now. I love adoption day.

00:02:48.836 --> 00:02:50.280
Wait a minute.

00:02:50.304 --> 00:02:52.582
- There's something different about you.
- Oh, is there?

00:02:52.606 --> 00:02:54.083
Whoop!

00:02:54.107 --> 00:02:55.084
You got a new ear!

00:02:55.108 --> 00:02:56.152
This one's from Denmark.

00:02:56.176 --> 00:02:58.121
It was waiting on my doorstep this morning,

00:02:58.145 --> 00:03:00.089
snapped right into place.

00:03:00.113 --> 00:03:02.926
- Who's this guy?
- Oh, this is Toby. Fresh out of a bath.

00:03:02.950 --> 00:03:04.994
I brushed his teeth with
liver-flavored toothpaste,

00:03:05.018 --> 00:03:07.331
which feels like a lateral move breath-wise.

00:03:07.355 --> 00:03:08.465
Let's find this boy a home.

00:03:08.489 --> 00:03:09.933
This is the best dog in the house.

00:03:09.957 --> 00:03:11.935
Toby and I actually started
here the same week.

00:03:11.959 --> 00:03:13.570
Oh, that's great. Where's Emily?

00:03:13.594 --> 00:03:14.638
Ah, in her office.

00:03:14.662 --> 00:03:16.797
Don't you wanna hear more
stories about the dog?

00:03:17.965 --> 00:03:19.267
They're boring as hell.

00:03:21.001 --> 00:03:23.112
Good morning. Just wanted to pop my head in

00:03:23.136 --> 00:03:24.938
and say hi on the big day.

00:03:26.840 --> 00:03:29.152
Okay. You just say "hey"
whenever you're ready.

00:03:29.176 --> 00:03:30.787
Oh, hi. Uh, sorry, sorry.

00:03:30.811 --> 00:03:32.021
Thanks for stopping by.

00:03:32.045 --> 00:03:36.493
I'm just... I'm kind of alarmed
right now just because of...

00:03:36.517 --> 00:03:37.594
Hey, is that a new...?

00:03:37.618 --> 00:03:39.028
Ear? Yeah.

00:03:39.052 --> 00:03:41.431
- It's nice.
- Thank you. It was not cheap.

00:03:41.455 --> 00:03:43.767
- Oh.
- So, uh... what's so alarming?

00:03:43.791 --> 00:03:45.502
I just...

00:03:45.526 --> 00:03:48.838
Um... the inventory is off.
Something is missing.

00:03:48.862 --> 00:03:51.808
Don't sweat it.
Most of the big stuff is insured.

00:03:51.832 --> 00:03:53.977
The smaller stuff often times shows up.

00:03:54.001 --> 00:03:55.545
It's a tranquilizer dart.

00:03:55.569 --> 00:03:57.714
Got it. You will have
to have that back today.

00:03:57.738 --> 00:04:00.284
It's a dart full of a federally
regulated drug.

00:04:00.308 --> 00:04:02.386
I could totally get fired for this, right?

00:04:02.410 --> 00:04:04.354
You got this. You're gonna track it down.

00:04:04.378 --> 00:04:05.355
And if you want,

00:04:05.379 --> 00:04:08.024
I can stay and help out with adoption day.

00:04:08.048 --> 00:04:09.893
That would be amazing. Thank you.

00:04:09.917 --> 00:04:11.828
You think it's possible
that someone on staff took it?

00:04:11.852 --> 00:04:14.230
Take a tranquilizer dart
filled with Ketamine?

00:04:14.254 --> 00:04:15.365
No.

00:04:15.389 --> 00:04:19.859
Wait. Yes. There is one
incredibly logical person.

00:04:20.861 --> 00:04:21.976
Oh yeah, here we go.

00:04:22.576 --> 00:04:23.641
Emily.

00:04:23.665 --> 00:04:26.075
Hey. Do you have a sec?

00:04:26.099 --> 00:04:27.544
You can't outrun me, goose!

00:04:27.568 --> 00:04:28.678
Yeah.

00:04:28.702 --> 00:04:31.348
I don't really know how to get
into this so, um...

00:04:31.372 --> 00:04:33.607
do you know anything about
a missing tranquilizer dart?

00:04:35.075 --> 00:04:37.854
Uh... no I don't. Why?

00:04:37.878 --> 00:04:41.691
I did my inventory early and it's off

00:04:41.715 --> 00:04:44.160
and I know with your
recreational drug use...

00:04:44.184 --> 00:04:46.496
Are you accusing me of mainlining a dart?

00:04:46.520 --> 00:04:48.164
No!

00:04:48.188 --> 00:04:51.401
It's just I've heard you mention
Ketamine specifically before.

00:04:51.425 --> 00:04:53.503
I don't think that's accurate.

00:04:53.527 --> 00:04:54.738
Are you kidding me?!

00:04:54.762 --> 00:04:57.541
You said * on Ketamine
is like boinking on a cloud.

00:04:57.565 --> 00:05:00.043
No, that doesn't sound
like something I would say.

00:05:00.067 --> 00:05:01.445
And then when you went to Idaho,

00:05:01.469 --> 00:05:02.679
you came back and you said,

00:05:02.703 --> 00:05:06.215
you know what the best thing
about Boise is... Ketamine.

00:05:06.239 --> 00:05:08.452
Might I remind you, you stole drugs from me.

00:05:08.476 --> 00:05:10.387
Because I thought they were chocolates.

00:05:10.411 --> 00:05:11.555
So you claim.

00:05:11.579 --> 00:05:13.189
But maybe you should put
yourself on the suspect list.

00:05:13.213 --> 00:05:14.290
Okay, this is not constructive.

00:05:14.314 --> 00:05:16.215
Let's just forget this
conversation happened.

00:05:17.551 --> 00:05:18.728
So close!

00:05:18.752 --> 00:05:22.054
Not sure you can unring
that bell but, yeah, I'll try.

00:05:24.157 --> 00:05:25.469
How'd your call go?
Did you have a nice chat?

00:05:25.493 --> 00:05:27.203
Yeah, great. I just need to make one more.

00:05:27.227 --> 00:05:28.237
Keep him cornered.

00:05:28.261 --> 00:05:31.047
Take your time.
I'll keep chasing the goose by myself.

00:05:34.025 --> 00:05:35.018
Hello?

00:05:35.042 --> 00:05:36.245
We have a problem.

00:05:36.269 --> 00:05:38.096
Emily knows about the missing
tranquilizer dart.

00:05:38.672 --> 00:05:39.749
Just one second.

00:05:39.773 --> 00:05:40.984
Okay.

00:05:41.008 --> 00:05:42.919
How? She doesn't do inventory
until the end of the month.

00:05:42.943 --> 00:05:45.088
I thought we had a few more
weeks to find a replacement.

00:05:45.112 --> 00:05:46.456
Yeah, well she did it early.

00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:49.258
Why? Does that nerd think
she's going to get extra credit?

00:05:49.282 --> 00:05:51.652
Ah, Darlene. Just one more sec.

00:05:52.753 --> 00:05:53.930
Does she suspect us?

00:05:53.954 --> 00:05:55.899
No, not yet.
But it's only a matter of time

00:05:55.923 --> 00:05:58.101
before she finds out we used it
on the mountain lion.

00:05:58.125 --> 00:05:59.403
You do know it has a name, right?

00:05:59.427 --> 00:06:02.305
C-38. Man, you're so weird about him.

00:06:02.329 --> 00:06:04.608
Yeah, well if this goes up
the chain, he gets euthanized.

00:06:04.632 --> 00:06:06.342
Yeah, and I will get deported,

00:06:06.366 --> 00:06:08.244
which is even more tragic because I'm human.

00:06:08.268 --> 00:06:10.415
Okay. I thought your guy at the zoo
was gonna steal us a dart.

00:06:10.439 --> 00:06:12.115
He's not responding to my messages.

00:06:12.139 --> 00:06:14.751
Shocker that your black market
Ketamine connection is a flake.

00:06:14.775 --> 00:06:16.252
And why did you have to tranq him?

00:06:16.276 --> 00:06:19.122
He was lunging at us.
We'd both be dead if I didn't.

00:06:19.146 --> 00:06:21.458
Man, Emily's all over this thing.

00:06:21.482 --> 00:06:22.659
I'm gonna have to find a way

00:06:22.683 --> 00:06:23.660
to distract her at the office.

00:06:23.684 --> 00:06:25.652
Maybe send her on a wild
goose chase of her own.

00:06:26.854 --> 00:06:28.598
It's a real shame you said that, Frank.

00:06:28.622 --> 00:06:29.999
Do you think you could track down a dart

00:06:30.023 --> 00:06:32.769
- by the end of the day?
- Yeah. Sure. I'm on it.

00:06:32.793 --> 00:06:33.871
- Okay.
- Bye.

00:06:33.895 --> 00:06:35.772
Victoria!

00:06:35.796 --> 00:06:36.986
What!!!

00:06:37.010 --> 00:06:38.442
Emily... can I talk to you for a second?

00:06:38.466 --> 00:06:40.033
Yeah. Um, just one sec.

00:06:41.034 --> 00:06:42.111
Hey.

00:06:42.135 --> 00:06:43.680
Hey, uh, Victoria told me
all about the missing dart

00:06:43.704 --> 00:06:45.482
and I'm sure you are all over it

00:06:45.506 --> 00:06:46.850
but I just wanna let you know

00:06:46.874 --> 00:06:48.351
that I'm here if you need any help.

00:06:48.375 --> 00:06:50.887
Thanks. You're gesturing
a lot with that turtle.

00:06:50.911 --> 00:06:52.321
Oh. Right.

00:06:52.345 --> 00:06:55.158
Darlene, hey. Congratulations
on your adoption.

00:06:55.182 --> 00:06:57.150
And remember, they live 80 years.

00:06:58.986 --> 00:07:01.030
So, are you gonna run
some kind of investigation?

00:07:01.054 --> 00:07:02.131
Probably.

00:07:02.155 --> 00:07:03.900
Yeah. Do you have any
interrogation experience?

00:07:03.924 --> 00:07:07.070
No. I actually hate making
people feel uncomfortable.

00:07:07.094 --> 00:07:09.072
I love making people uncomfortable.

00:07:09.096 --> 00:07:11.675
So we should team up.
A little good cop, nervous cop?

00:07:11.699 --> 00:07:14.978
Uh... yeah, okay. Yeah, sure, thanks.

00:07:15.002 --> 00:07:17.046
Yeah, I can already see the flop sweat.

00:07:17.070 --> 00:07:18.347
You are a natural at this.

00:07:18.371 --> 00:07:19.371
What?

00:07:20.407 --> 00:07:21.407
No.

00:07:26.179 --> 00:07:27.356
He sure does seem affectionate.

00:07:27.380 --> 00:07:28.558
Oh yeah, he's a great dog.

00:07:28.582 --> 00:07:31.861
He's very loving, smart,
house broken, had all his shots.

00:07:31.885 --> 00:07:33.196
He is the full package.

00:07:33.220 --> 00:07:35.765
Well... maybe not full. He's fixed.

00:07:35.789 --> 00:07:37.701
We've got a big yard for him
to run around in.

00:07:37.725 --> 00:07:39.402
Three acres, all fenced.

00:07:39.426 --> 00:07:41.227
Three acres? Take me home.

00:07:43.597 --> 00:07:45.074
Well, we'd love to fill out an application.

00:07:45.098 --> 00:07:47.935
Oh yeah? Absolutely.
But first we should talk anal glands.

00:07:48.969 --> 00:07:50.547
His need to be expressed regularly

00:07:50.571 --> 00:07:52.549
and he is not a big fan of the process.

00:07:52.573 --> 00:07:53.683
Okay. Sure.

00:07:53.707 --> 00:07:55.051
It's a full sensory experience

00:07:55.075 --> 00:07:57.386
and you gotta wear clothes
you're not afraid to throw away.

00:07:57.410 --> 00:07:59.312
And that has to happen weekly.

00:08:02.883 --> 00:08:04.694
Yeah. We're, um...

00:08:04.718 --> 00:08:06.963
we're gonna take a lap and think about it.

00:08:06.987 --> 00:08:08.965
Oh. Are you sure?

00:08:08.989 --> 00:08:11.367
Okay. I know it's a big decision,

00:08:11.391 --> 00:08:13.961
I'm just not sure he'll be here
when you come to your senses.

00:08:14.895 --> 00:08:15.939
Thought you had 'em.

00:08:15.963 --> 00:08:16.974
Yeah.

00:08:16.998 --> 00:08:18.431
Gotta work on your closing game.

00:08:20.735 --> 00:08:21.745
Hey.

00:08:21.769 --> 00:08:22.746
Hey guys. What's up?

00:08:22.770 --> 00:08:23.980
Unfortunately there's a situation.

00:08:24.004 --> 00:08:25.649
There's a tranq dart missing.

00:08:25.673 --> 00:08:26.689
Oh my God.

00:08:26.713 --> 00:08:28.051
Yeah, and considering the fact

00:08:28.075 --> 00:08:30.754
that we keep the darts in here,
we came to see you.

00:08:30.778 --> 00:08:32.956
If you're trying to find out
who's been in the exam room

00:08:32.980 --> 00:08:35.559
can't you just look through
the video footage?

00:08:35.583 --> 00:08:36.926
What? What?

00:08:36.950 --> 00:08:38.728
The bear is a camera.

00:08:38.752 --> 00:08:39.763
It is?

00:08:39.787 --> 00:08:41.430
Yeah. I have to record
everything that happens here

00:08:41.454 --> 00:08:43.232
per the State Board of Veterinary Medicine.

00:08:43.256 --> 00:08:45.001
Yeah, but a toy bear?

00:08:45.025 --> 00:08:46.099
Talk to the City.

00:08:46.123 --> 00:08:47.804
I've been trying to get a new
camera for over a year now.

00:08:47.828 --> 00:08:49.472
It's definitely on my to-do list.

00:08:49.496 --> 00:08:51.908
Unfortunately watching any of this footage

00:08:51.932 --> 00:08:53.810
is a real can of worms, privacy-wise.

00:08:53.834 --> 00:08:56.445
There's First Amendment issues,
Third Amendment issues.

00:08:56.469 --> 00:08:58.314
Isn't Third Amendment no
soldier shall be quartered

00:08:58.338 --> 00:08:59.649
in a house during peacetime?

00:08:59.673 --> 00:09:01.685
- Yeah.
- Look, it just all goes to privacy.

00:09:01.709 --> 00:09:02.986
Am I being overly cautious? Perhaps.

00:09:03.010 --> 00:09:04.253
Now, I'm gonna go to the bathroom

00:09:04.277 --> 00:09:07.347
and then we'll dive right in
and start violating some rights.

00:09:08.949 --> 00:09:09.959
There's a video.

00:09:09.983 --> 00:09:12.261
- What?
- Colette's got a teddy bear cam.

00:09:12.285 --> 00:09:14.130
So, there's footage of me
taking the tranq dart?

00:09:14.154 --> 00:09:15.464
Yeah, unless you wore a disguise.

00:09:15.488 --> 00:09:17.324
- Where are you?
- I'm on the toilet.

00:09:17.931 --> 00:09:18.943
'Kay.

00:09:18.967 --> 00:09:20.804
Look, I'm gonna have to find
a way to delete that footage.

00:09:20.828 --> 00:09:21.805
Did you get the dart?

00:09:21.829 --> 00:09:22.872
Not yet, I've struck out everywhere.

00:09:22.896 --> 00:09:24.966
- But I have one more card to play.
- Bye.

00:09:24.990 --> 00:09:27.534
We need to get
back into sync here. Victoria!

00:09:28.669 --> 00:09:30.313
Victoria!

00:09:30.337 --> 00:09:32.571
And if you get to my rank
you don't have to do this.

00:09:34.474 --> 00:09:36.185
Oh, hello Kiwi.

00:09:36.209 --> 00:09:37.787
I'm cashing in my favor.

00:09:37.811 --> 00:09:38.955
Really?

00:09:38.979 --> 00:09:41.190
Yeah. I need a tranquilizer dart
and I need it today.

00:09:41.214 --> 00:09:42.525
Yeah, I can't possibly...

00:09:42.549 --> 00:09:44.460
Really? You said you'd do anything.

00:09:44.484 --> 00:09:46.162
Hey, I'm still trying to figure
out what you were doing

00:09:46.186 --> 00:09:47.831
in that Tacoma dinner theater that night.

00:09:47.855 --> 00:09:49.332
Yeah, and I still don't know
what you were doing

00:09:49.356 --> 00:09:50.900
in an amateur production of Hair.

00:09:50.924 --> 00:09:53.169
But in exchange for handing
over the full-frontal footage,

00:09:53.193 --> 00:09:55.739
you gave me a check, and I'm cashing it in.

00:09:55.763 --> 00:09:58.307
Alright. I see your little game. I'll play.

00:09:58.331 --> 00:09:59.542
I'll see what I can do.

00:09:59.566 --> 00:10:00.867
That's what I thought.

00:10:02.903 --> 00:10:03.903
You all good?

00:10:05.505 --> 00:10:06.515
I see you've met Toby.

00:10:06.539 --> 00:10:07.651
He's so friendly.

00:10:07.675 --> 00:10:09.585
I know. He's the greatest dog.

00:10:09.609 --> 00:10:12.488
Looks like he's border collie
and some cattle dog.

00:10:12.512 --> 00:10:14.090
Sounds like you really know your dogs.

00:10:14.114 --> 00:10:17.060
Yeah, I used to train them
in my Special Ops unit in Afghanistan.

00:10:17.084 --> 00:10:18.094
Cool.

00:10:18.118 --> 00:10:19.528
Toby seems great.
Can we start an application?

00:10:19.552 --> 00:10:22.255
Absolutely. Yeah.
Just sit right here for me.

00:10:23.590 --> 00:10:25.368
I just have a few questions for you.

00:10:25.392 --> 00:10:26.569
In case of deployment,

00:10:26.593 --> 00:10:28.604
who would be Toby's primary caretaker?

00:10:28.628 --> 00:10:30.940
- My wife.
- Your wife. And where is she today?

00:10:30.964 --> 00:10:32.777
- She's at work.
- And work is?

00:10:32.801 --> 00:10:34.443
- Real estate.
- Real estate.

00:10:34.467 --> 00:10:35.544
Mm hmm.

00:10:35.568 --> 00:10:36.737
Volatile.

00:10:38.238 --> 00:10:40.717
Okay, let's talk alcohol consumption.

00:10:40.741 --> 00:10:43.186
How many glasses would you say
you have a week?

00:10:43.210 --> 00:10:45.612
We'll start with you and then
we'll get to your wife.

00:10:46.646 --> 00:10:49.458
We're gonna keep looking. Let's go, Otis.

00:10:49.482 --> 00:10:50.583
No!

00:10:51.251 --> 00:10:53.053
I only had a few questions left.

00:10:54.955 --> 00:10:56.790
He clearly has a drinking problem.

00:10:57.958 --> 00:11:00.103
Okay. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

00:11:00.127 --> 00:11:01.637
There's Kyle the tech wearing headphones,

00:11:01.661 --> 00:11:02.706
doing a little dance.

00:11:02.730 --> 00:11:04.440
That's embarrassing for him.

00:11:04.464 --> 00:11:06.109
Nothing. Nothing.

00:11:06.133 --> 00:11:09.112
Oh, me coming in for a second.
Zipping through that.

00:11:09.136 --> 00:11:10.670
Wait, wait. What are you doing?

00:11:11.638 --> 00:11:13.582
Oh. I was just getting supplies.

00:11:13.606 --> 00:11:14.918
Moving along, that's boring.

00:11:14.942 --> 00:11:16.786
Ooh. No, no, no. Frank, stop.

00:11:16.810 --> 00:11:18.822
Are you doing formaldehyde curls?

00:11:18.846 --> 00:11:21.725
No, I'm just checking the... Yes, I was.

00:11:21.749 --> 00:11:22.992
We have a gym on site.

00:11:23.016 --> 00:11:25.128
Those are exactly 27 pounds apiece.

00:11:25.152 --> 00:11:26.429
It's a very specific workout
for vascularity.

00:11:26.453 --> 00:11:27.831
Wait. You're not gonna
take off your... wow.

00:11:27.855 --> 00:11:28.965
Oh... Frank, come on.

00:11:28.989 --> 00:11:29.999
You know what?

00:11:30.023 --> 00:11:31.400
No. You know what?
I was just fast-forwarding.

00:11:31.424 --> 00:11:32.635
It's a very warm room.

00:11:32.659 --> 00:11:34.670
It's like a hot yoga room practically.

00:11:34.694 --> 00:11:36.572
You know, I feel like my rights
have been violated.

00:11:36.596 --> 00:11:38.141
Okay. I... I'm taking over.

00:11:38.165 --> 00:11:39.976
You've lost keyboard privileges.

00:11:40.000 --> 00:11:41.934
- Yeah. I don't even want it.
- Go.

00:11:42.269 --> 00:11:44.981
Probably lost exam room privileges as well.

00:11:45.005 --> 00:11:46.282
Definitely.

00:11:46.306 --> 00:11:48.608
Okay, moving on from that.

00:11:52.180 --> 00:11:54.850
‌

00:12:10.630 --> 00:12:12.065
What the hell is that?

00:12:17.237 --> 00:12:18.305
Oh no!

00:12:26.814 --> 00:12:28.081
Where are you?

00:12:30.250 --> 00:12:33.420
There you are. And... delete.

00:12:34.988 --> 00:12:37.366
And there I am.

00:12:37.390 --> 00:12:38.501
You're a monster, Frank.

00:12:38.525 --> 00:12:42.906
A swole, fully jacked... monster.

00:12:42.930 --> 00:12:44.364
Save.

00:12:48.401 --> 00:12:50.413
We got him cornered. Okay. You go that way.

00:12:50.437 --> 00:12:52.508
Ready. Set.

00:12:52.532 --> 00:12:53.682
- Go!
- Be right back.

00:12:53.706 --> 00:12:55.419
Where are you going?

00:12:55.443 --> 00:12:57.609
We had the son of a * cornered!

00:13:01.628 --> 00:13:02.692
Here you are.

00:13:02.716 --> 00:13:03.693
A newspaper.

00:13:03.717 --> 00:13:05.561
Where did you even get that, a newsie?

00:13:05.585 --> 00:13:06.729
Okay, we're square now. Got it?

00:13:06.753 --> 00:13:07.763
Yeah. We're square.

00:13:07.787 --> 00:13:10.366
What, what, what... shht! What's it for?

00:13:10.390 --> 00:13:12.768
- None of your...
- Shht! You can tell me, you can tell me.

00:13:12.792 --> 00:13:14.603
- Please, go now.
- You can tell me.

00:13:14.627 --> 00:13:15.604
A leopard?

00:13:15.628 --> 00:13:16.686
Seriously?

00:13:16.710 --> 00:13:18.211
A leopard? A leopard?

00:13:22.170 --> 00:13:23.203
Okay.

00:13:25.038 --> 00:13:26.382
We did it!

00:13:26.406 --> 00:13:27.583
We got the goose!

00:13:27.607 --> 00:13:29.085
No. I... I did it. You did nothing.

00:13:29.109 --> 00:13:30.553
Now make yourself useful,

00:13:30.577 --> 00:13:32.055
take a picture of me with my bounty.

00:13:32.079 --> 00:13:33.789
- Here. Look at that.
- You got him?

00:13:33.813 --> 00:13:35.047
We're like best friends.

00:13:39.810 --> 00:13:43.610
‌

00:13:51.610 --> 00:13:53.780
‌

00:13:58.750 --> 00:14:02.780
‌

00:14:06.313 --> 00:14:10.059
Hey. Um... I found something.

00:14:10.083 --> 00:14:11.418
It's bad.

00:14:16.957 --> 00:14:18.067
I told you it doesn't look good.

00:14:18.091 --> 00:14:19.292
No, it doesn't.

00:14:24.497 --> 00:14:26.165
- Hey, Patel.
- Frank!

00:14:26.699 --> 00:14:27.810
Can we talk for a sec?

00:14:27.834 --> 00:14:30.446
Oh, I'm very popular today.
Emily wants to chat too.

00:14:30.470 --> 00:14:33.473
There's footage of you covering
the camera in the exam room.

00:14:35.608 --> 00:14:36.685
Please tell me it stayed covered.

00:14:36.709 --> 00:14:37.820
It did.

00:14:37.844 --> 00:14:39.255
What were you doing in there?

00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:41.514
Ah... I can't say it out loud.

00:14:49.856 --> 00:14:52.268
I *d in the exam room.

00:14:52.292 --> 00:14:53.971
- What?
- Shh!

00:14:53.995 --> 00:14:56.605
Uh... please explain.

00:14:56.629 --> 00:14:58.207
When someone gets a vasectomy, the chamber,

00:14:58.231 --> 00:14:59.808
it has to be cleared no less than 40 times

00:14:59.832 --> 00:15:02.545
prior to having unprotected *.

00:15:02.569 --> 00:15:05.114
Now as you know, last night
was a very special date night

00:15:05.138 --> 00:15:06.282
for me, but I got to work

00:15:06.306 --> 00:15:09.118
and I realized I was one shy on my count.

00:15:09.142 --> 00:15:11.320
And you have that heightened
fertility, right?

00:15:11.344 --> 00:15:12.788
Exactly. I couldn't risk it.

00:15:12.812 --> 00:15:15.224
So I went to the exam room
where I know there are locks

00:15:15.248 --> 00:15:16.659
and that's where I...

00:15:16.683 --> 00:15:18.661
- Okay.
- Of course, it was all for naught

00:15:18.685 --> 00:15:21.064
'cause Danny stormed in on us
last night like the vice squad.

00:15:21.088 --> 00:15:22.298
So what am I supposed to do?

00:15:22.322 --> 00:15:24.467
Should I just, like...
do I need to confess to Emily?

00:15:24.491 --> 00:15:26.036
- No.
- No.

00:15:26.060 --> 00:15:27.070
Don't. That's a tough one to spin.

00:15:27.094 --> 00:15:28.704
So what, am I gonna get fired?

00:15:28.728 --> 00:15:30.906
- It's not great.
- What, 'cause I love my wife?

00:15:30.930 --> 00:15:32.596
- No.
- You had a wank.

00:15:32.620 --> 00:15:33.681
At work.

00:15:33.705 --> 00:15:34.877
But we won't let that happen.

00:15:34.901 --> 00:15:37.180
- Nuh-uh.
- Why was she even looking at the footage?

00:15:37.204 --> 00:15:38.714
Because there's a missing tranq dart.

00:15:38.738 --> 00:15:39.848
And she thinks I took it?

00:15:39.872 --> 00:15:41.350
But you didn't because we know who did.

00:15:41.374 --> 00:15:43.152
- Who?
- It doesn't matter who took it.

00:15:43.176 --> 00:15:44.753
Just know that it was done
for the most heroic

00:15:44.777 --> 00:15:48.424
and noble reasons and he, or she...

00:15:48.448 --> 00:15:51.427
Or they... will go down as legends.

00:15:51.451 --> 00:15:52.928
One day the tale will be told.

00:15:52.952 --> 00:15:55.364
But for now, I actually think there's a way

00:15:55.388 --> 00:15:58.367
that this could work for you
and that other party.

00:15:58.391 --> 00:15:59.602
Other party... you mean you guys?

00:15:59.626 --> 00:16:00.937
- No.
- It's not us.

00:16:00.961 --> 00:16:02.438
- Yeah, you guys are the other party.
- Nuh-uh.

00:16:02.462 --> 00:16:03.572
- Nope.
- Sounds like you.

00:16:03.596 --> 00:16:04.883
- No.
- It's not.

00:16:04.907 --> 00:16:07.265
Well, whoever it is, I'm in.
And I know it's you guys.

00:16:09.069 --> 00:16:10.413
He's a special guy, isn't he?

00:16:10.437 --> 00:16:11.514
He really is.

00:16:11.538 --> 00:16:13.249
I can't believe nobody wanted him.

00:16:13.273 --> 00:16:15.918
Is that really accurate?
That no one wanted him?

00:16:15.942 --> 00:16:16.952
What do you mean?

00:16:16.976 --> 00:16:18.711
I wanna play you something.

00:16:20.047 --> 00:16:24.617
Wassup! Wassup!

00:16:25.918 --> 00:16:28.064
Did you, like, record the commercial?

00:16:28.088 --> 00:16:29.698
Wassup!

00:16:29.722 --> 00:16:32.868
No. That's a bird. My bird, Emilio.

00:16:32.892 --> 00:16:34.937
He has said that phrase every time

00:16:34.961 --> 00:16:37.464
I've walked in the door
for the past 16 years.

00:16:39.499 --> 00:16:40.576
Wassup!

00:16:40.600 --> 00:16:43.046
Emilio was here in the shelter
when I was a rookie

00:16:43.070 --> 00:16:44.780
and I became attached.

00:16:44.804 --> 00:16:46.082
There were some people who wanted him

00:16:46.106 --> 00:16:49.385
but I kept finding ways to sabotage it.

00:16:49.409 --> 00:16:51.820
So, you think I ruined things
for Toby on purpose?

00:16:51.844 --> 00:16:53.589
I think you have a huge heart,

00:16:53.613 --> 00:16:55.591
and you just need some guardrails.

00:16:55.615 --> 00:16:58.285
This job will eat you up if you
get too invested in the animals.

00:16:59.086 --> 00:17:00.587
Wassup!

00:17:01.521 --> 00:17:02.622
That's the last one.

00:17:04.124 --> 00:17:05.168
Who's this guy?

00:17:05.192 --> 00:17:06.993
Careful, he sleep bites.

00:17:07.527 --> 00:17:08.661
Shred.

00:17:09.129 --> 00:17:12.075
Sorry. Disregard. Do you wanna say hi?

00:17:12.099 --> 00:17:14.177
- Yeah.
- His name's Toby.

00:17:14.201 --> 00:17:15.768
Hi Toby.

00:17:17.537 --> 00:17:19.949
- Would you like to fill out an application?
- Yeah.

00:17:19.973 --> 00:17:21.984
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.

00:17:22.008 --> 00:17:23.676
He's a really good boy.

00:17:26.979 --> 00:17:29.092
Patel has something he wants to say.

00:17:29.116 --> 00:17:30.350
Go ahead.

00:17:31.351 --> 00:17:32.995
I took the tranq from the closet.

00:17:33.019 --> 00:17:34.363
Oh, Patel.

00:17:34.387 --> 00:17:36.888
Tell her everything,
it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

00:17:38.325 --> 00:17:39.768
It was last week.

00:17:39.792 --> 00:17:40.869
Victoria was sick,

00:17:40.893 --> 00:17:43.339
and I wish to God it weren't true, but...

00:17:43.363 --> 00:17:47.876
I hit the sauce, Emily.
Both Arby's and horsey.

00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:49.712
I was three beef and cheddars deep

00:17:49.736 --> 00:17:53.649
and between all the extra sauces
and melted cheese...

00:17:53.673 --> 00:17:55.050
I sauced my gun.

00:17:55.074 --> 00:17:57.286
So, of course, then I took it
apart to clean it,

00:17:57.310 --> 00:18:00.022
and forgot to put the dart back in.

00:18:00.046 --> 00:18:02.525
When I realized my mistake,
I ran back to the park

00:18:02.549 --> 00:18:04.127
but there's no dart.

00:18:04.151 --> 00:18:05.794
So, the dart is still missing?

00:18:05.818 --> 00:18:07.530
Or is it?

00:18:07.554 --> 00:18:09.365
I heard that story and I followed a hunch.

00:18:09.389 --> 00:18:12.368
And as I suspected, it rained
on the night of the 23rd.

00:18:12.392 --> 00:18:13.669
A real downpour.

00:18:13.693 --> 00:18:16.172
Okay. It's Seattle, it's not that unusual.

00:18:16.196 --> 00:18:18.207
I sent Victoria back
to the scene of the crime

00:18:18.231 --> 00:18:19.432
where she discovered...

00:18:20.700 --> 00:18:21.701
The dart.

00:18:22.269 --> 00:18:25.514
Bulls eye. Just like in darts.

00:18:25.538 --> 00:18:26.715
It was in the storm drain.

00:18:26.739 --> 00:18:28.584
Where it had been
washed away by the rain.

00:18:28.608 --> 00:18:29.697
Case closed.

00:18:29.721 --> 00:18:33.356
Emily, your witness. So... case reopened.

00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:34.381
Yeah.

00:18:35.548 --> 00:18:37.260
Okay.

00:18:37.284 --> 00:18:40.163
Well, the dart is back so
the inventory will be reconciled

00:18:40.187 --> 00:18:43.399
and I guess that is the most
important thing.

00:18:43.423 --> 00:18:45.268
Yeah! A real happy ending.

00:18:45.292 --> 00:18:46.569
I'm so sorry.

00:18:46.593 --> 00:18:48.171
Yeah, I appreciate that.

00:18:48.195 --> 00:18:52.541
But I am still obligated
to take disciplinary action.

00:18:52.565 --> 00:18:55.435
So you are suspended for a week.

00:18:57.370 --> 00:18:58.538
Well, that's harsh.

00:18:59.606 --> 00:19:01.308
Didn't see that coming.

00:19:01.541 --> 00:19:02.718
I'm sorry, buddy.

00:19:02.742 --> 00:19:04.787
But as your union representative,

00:19:04.811 --> 00:19:06.555
I think the collective bargaining agreement

00:19:06.579 --> 00:19:08.123
is pretty clear.

00:19:08.147 --> 00:19:10.426
That suspension's with pay, correct?

00:19:10.450 --> 00:19:11.460
That is correct.

00:19:11.484 --> 00:19:15.198
He just is not allowed
to come into work at all.

00:19:15.222 --> 00:19:18.033
Not even to catch up on paperwork?

00:19:18.057 --> 00:19:19.292
Okay, we're done here.

00:19:20.660 --> 00:19:21.794
Okay.

00:19:38.678 --> 00:19:40.947
- Rough day?
- Very rough day.

00:19:41.681 --> 00:19:44.260
Did I ever tell you about
my amazing air vent?

00:19:44.284 --> 00:19:45.328
I don't think so.

00:19:45.352 --> 00:19:46.352
No?

00:19:49.289 --> 00:19:51.300
Just to sterilize dog bites obviously.

00:19:51.324 --> 00:19:52.992
That was here the whole time?

00:19:54.461 --> 00:19:57.673
Thank you, uh, by the way for today.

00:19:57.697 --> 00:20:00.809
You were like a superhero out there.

00:20:00.833 --> 00:20:03.011
You got, like, eight dogs adopted.

00:20:03.035 --> 00:20:05.080
Yeah. Sometimes I miss this job.

00:20:05.104 --> 00:20:07.783
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I also like being independently wealthy.

00:20:07.807 --> 00:20:09.708
But I love the camaraderie.

00:20:12.612 --> 00:20:13.613
So...

00:20:14.981 --> 00:20:16.959
Did you get your situation resolved?

00:20:16.983 --> 00:20:18.461
You still look a little haunted.

00:20:18.485 --> 00:20:20.497
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

00:20:20.521 --> 00:20:21.597
What do you do when you're pretty sure

00:20:21.621 --> 00:20:22.831
a couple of your employees

00:20:22.855 --> 00:20:24.467
are feeding you a complete load of bull,

00:20:24.491 --> 00:20:26.034
but you're scared to call them on it,

00:20:26.058 --> 00:20:27.169
'cause if you do

00:20:27.193 --> 00:20:29.171
they could actually get
in pretty serious trouble?

00:20:29.195 --> 00:20:30.962
Well this seems very hypothetical.

00:20:32.064 --> 00:20:34.142
- Yeah.
- It's not always black and white,

00:20:34.166 --> 00:20:36.211
sometimes what's technically
the right thing to do

00:20:36.235 --> 00:20:38.681
isn't what's best for the precinct.

00:20:38.705 --> 00:20:40.411
- It's a tough one.
- Yeah.

00:20:40.435 --> 00:20:43.286
And it's not like I can talk
to anyone on the staff about it.

00:20:43.310 --> 00:20:44.344
No.

00:20:46.313 --> 00:20:49.181
It's kinda lonely being the boss.

00:20:50.383 --> 00:20:51.560
I know exactly how you're feeling.

00:20:51.584 --> 00:20:54.686
Yeah, it seems like you do. Like, a lot.

00:20:59.158 --> 00:21:01.136
Wassup?

00:21:01.160 --> 00:21:02.871
Remember? 'Cause your bird.

00:21:02.895 --> 00:21:04.006
I remember.

00:21:04.030 --> 00:21:06.709
Yeah. Anyway, I found Toby a home.

00:21:06.733 --> 00:21:09.912
He's about to leave.
Do you guys wanna come say goodbye?

00:21:09.936 --> 00:21:11.981
- Yeah, yeah.
- Totally.

00:21:12.005 --> 00:21:13.248
Yes.

00:21:13.272 --> 00:21:16.376
The family's a little sketchy
but I'm learning to let go.

00:21:37.740 --> 00:21:39.984
‌

00:21:39.990 --> 00:21:42.740
‌