WEBVTT 00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:10.640 Buon giorno, viewers. 00:00:10.680 --> 00:00:13.640 I'm in Italy, on a quest for the good life. 00:00:13.760 --> 00:00:15.840 This time, boats... 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:18.640 I think this is la dolce vita. 00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:21.000 - ...goats... - Oh, look at that one. 00:00:21.080 --> 00:00:22.800 ...and I'll get my coats. 00:00:22.880 --> 00:00:26.600 I don't know if you can hear me but it's quite kinky. 00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:44.800 Episode two. 00:00:44.920 --> 00:00:48.000 If you're binging, you'll know we're now on the mainland. 00:00:48.120 --> 00:00:51.440 If you're not, we're now on the mainland. 00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:53.600 And I'm joined by my guide for this episode, 00:00:53.720 --> 00:00:55.720 who is Paolo, who is sitting right next to me. 00:00:55.800 --> 00:00:59.000 - Buon giorno. Ciao. - Ciao. Buon giorno. Ciao. 00:00:59.120 --> 00:01:00.560 To help with my inadequacies, 00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:02.600 I've been sent this half-English, 00:01:02.720 --> 00:01:06.600 half-Italian, shiny-toothed, on-trend clothes horse. 00:01:06.720 --> 00:01:08.600 At least I'm prepared. 00:01:08.720 --> 00:01:10.440 I put this jacket and this shirt on 00:01:10.520 --> 00:01:12.840 because it is yet another of those 00:01:12.920 --> 00:01:15.600 rock-solid clichés that we have in Britain 00:01:15.720 --> 00:01:18.160 about Italians... Italian men, especially. 00:01:18.240 --> 00:01:20.000 They are always coordinated. 00:01:20.120 --> 00:01:22.000 Things have to be matching. 00:01:22.120 --> 00:01:23.920 If I wear a yellow shirt, I need to have yellow shoes. 00:01:23.960 --> 00:01:26.240 Italian mothers, they always teach you, 00:01:26.320 --> 00:01:27.800 like, you need to be properly dressed 00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:29.440 because you don't know what might happen. 00:01:30.800 --> 00:01:33.040 The plan for this episode was to explore 00:01:33.120 --> 00:01:36.800 the rural south, the Amalfi Coast and Naples. 00:01:36.920 --> 00:01:39.080 It still is, but now I'll be doing it 00:01:39.160 --> 00:01:41.160 in correctly paired clothing. 00:01:42.720 --> 00:01:44.600 But first... 00:01:46.720 --> 00:01:49.560 This music is like something from a Bond film, 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:51.760 and so is this view, 00:01:51.840 --> 00:01:55.000 which you'll recognize from No Time to Die 00:01:55.080 --> 00:01:58.040 but now stars May, James May. 00:02:00.640 --> 00:02:04.160 Buon giorno, spettatore e spettatrice. 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:05.760 You join me in Matera, 00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:07.600 which is roughly on the ankle bone of Italy, 00:02:07.720 --> 00:02:09.600 and if I've timed this correctly, 00:02:09.720 --> 00:02:13.200 Paolo will arrive in an Ape car, 00:02:13.320 --> 00:02:17.120 and we will go off to explore what is the oldest 00:02:17.160 --> 00:02:20.720 continuously inhabited place in all of Italy. 00:02:20.760 --> 00:02:22.120 - Ciao. - Ciao. 00:02:29.400 --> 00:02:32.160 The Ape is derived from the Vespa scooter. 00:02:32.200 --> 00:02:36.720 "Vespa" means "wasp." "Ape" means "bee." 00:02:36.760 --> 00:02:38.320 How long have people lived here? 00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:40.120 Ten thousand years. It's actually... 00:02:40.160 --> 00:02:42.720 Matera is, like, the top three oldest cities 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:44.360 that we know of in the world, 00:02:44.440 --> 00:02:47.320 - after Aleppo... - Yes. 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:48.920 - ...and Jericho. - Jericho. Of course. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:50.920 The original inhabitants, 00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.720 so this is 7,000 or 8,000 years before Christ, 00:02:52.760 --> 00:02:53.960 they lived in caves. 00:02:54.040 --> 00:02:56.800 You can see a few surviving caves over there, 00:02:56.920 --> 00:02:59.920 and as time went on, people carved and built fronts 00:02:59.960 --> 00:03:02.200 to the cave houses, so although these look like 00:03:02.320 --> 00:03:05.320 quaint, small village houses, they're actually the fronts 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.120 of cave dwellings. 00:03:07.160 --> 00:03:09.040 But there's no time to drive. 00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:11.360 Paolo's taking me to an underground lair... 00:03:11.440 --> 00:03:13.120 Wow. 00:03:13.200 --> 00:03:16.920 ...that was lived in as recently as the 1950s. 00:03:16.960 --> 00:03:18.760 The older generations, 00:03:18.840 --> 00:03:21.120 uh, grandparents, would probably sleep on a bed like this, 00:03:21.160 --> 00:03:23.760 - and the younger generation... - Luxury. 00:03:23.840 --> 00:03:26.520 Here's their, here's their little spot, or alternatively, 00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:28.520 the drawers of the cupboards. 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:30.720 - People lived in the drawers of the cupboards? - Babies. 00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:33.320 Everything happens around the bed. 00:03:33.400 --> 00:03:35.520 Even the bagno, for example. See this? 00:03:35.600 --> 00:03:37.000 That's the bagno? 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:38.640 This would've been the bagno at the time. 00:03:38.720 --> 00:03:40.320 - So that's medieval. - Yeah. 00:03:40.400 --> 00:03:42.400 Well, yes, that's absolutely delightful. 00:03:43.560 --> 00:03:46.200 - Shall I put this back? - Yes, please. 00:03:46.320 --> 00:03:48.360 They were barely separated 00:03:48.440 --> 00:03:50.560 from the beasts of the field, 00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:52.800 because deeper into the mountainside 00:03:52.920 --> 00:03:55.760 is where the livestock actually lived. 00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:58.120 The animals would've come down these steps 00:03:58.200 --> 00:04:00.000 - on a carpet. - Why on a carpet? 00:04:00.120 --> 00:04:03.040 Because, otherwise, they would slip down on the, on the steps. 00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:04.560 And this would be the space 00:04:04.640 --> 00:04:06.520 where the animals would rest at night. 00:04:06.600 --> 00:04:09.440 - What sort of animals? - Cows, donkeys. 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:11.320 The romantic part of me likes the idea 00:04:11.400 --> 00:04:13.920 of living in a house with animals, but in reality, 00:04:13.960 --> 00:04:15.280 it would've been a bit grim, wouldn't it? 00:04:15.320 --> 00:04:16.760 'Cause they'd have pooed everywhere, 00:04:16.840 --> 00:04:18.320 - apart from anything else. - Stinks. Stinks. It smells. 00:04:18.400 --> 00:04:20.440 And they make stupid... noise 00:04:20.520 --> 00:04:22.320 - all through the night. - Absolutely, yes. 00:04:22.400 --> 00:04:24.200 - Shall we go down one more level? - Yeah. 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.000 To sum up, to live in a cave, 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:27.920 you must keep your baby in a drawer, 00:04:28.000 --> 00:04:30.440 poo in a bowl and sleep with your cow. 00:04:30.520 --> 00:04:32.440 But take a look at this wine cellar. 00:04:32.520 --> 00:04:34.200 Viva Italia. 00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:36.240 Well, I suppose we should be grateful, really, 00:04:36.320 --> 00:04:37.760 that we had such luxuries 00:04:37.840 --> 00:04:42.560 back in 1958 as basic plumbing, 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:44.920 an electric fire, 00:04:44.960 --> 00:04:46.800 black and white television... 00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:49.920 ...chip pan. 00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.520 Hang on, what did that just say? 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:00.960 And what the hell is that hole? 00:05:02.120 --> 00:05:04.240 Our subterranean tour continues 00:05:04.360 --> 00:05:06.400 at the Castellana Grotte, 00:05:06.520 --> 00:05:08.440 known locally as the mouth of hell. 00:05:08.520 --> 00:05:11.520 Probably because there's some immersive theater going on 00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:13.120 down there or something. 00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:17.480 Paolo tells me that, to understand Italian culture, 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:19.920 I need to start with the classics. 00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:23.600 So he's cadged me a part from director Enrico Romita. 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:26.000 - Sono James. Buona sera. - Okay. 00:05:26.040 --> 00:05:28.200 - Buona sera. - Okay. Buona sera. Buona sera. 00:05:28.280 --> 00:05:31.200 Um, uh, this is v-very new. 00:05:31.280 --> 00:05:33.160 Um, what do I do? 00:05:38.040 --> 00:05:39.640 He sent me an email with the, with the verses. 00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:41.080 Oh, there are some words? 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:42.600 - Yes, there are. - Well, in Italian. 00:05:42.640 --> 00:05:44.440 In 1300s Italian. 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:47.880 Part one of the Divine Comedy, 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.680 Inferno, depicts Dante's guided tour 00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:54.200 through nine concentric circles of hell. 00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:56.000 Don't let the silly hat fool you. 00:05:56.080 --> 00:05:59.520 I'm playing Minosa, judge of the damned. 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:04.840 Minosa's character, he's big and powerful. 00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:06.600 - He's hard. He's harsh. - Hard. Okay, hard. 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:08.120 - That's me. That's... - He's evil. 00:06:08.200 --> 00:06:10.320 Right, I should be able to do that, no problem. 00:06:10.400 --> 00:06:13.800 Apparently, Paolo's idea of teaching me Italian culture 00:06:13.880 --> 00:06:15.880 is shoving me into some Lycra 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:18.080 with a book of 14th-century poetry. 00:06:18.200 --> 00:06:21.120 O you who come... 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:26.880 to this house of pain. 00:06:28.320 --> 00:06:30.400 To this painful hospital. 00:06:31.800 --> 00:06:33.080 There's more? 00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:34.080 Yes, there is. 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.520 Can I just say it in English? 00:06:35.600 --> 00:06:38.600 No. This is the most important poet 00:06:38.640 --> 00:06:40.640 in Italian history. 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.320 - I know, I know. - You can't put the audience down. 00:06:43.400 --> 00:06:45.400 - Dante Alighieri, is it? - They deserve... 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:48.880 - they deserve a proper delivery. - Okay. 00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:51.480 I try to concentrate very hard on learning 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:54.480 and remembering my lines, but it's difficult. 00:06:54.600 --> 00:06:57.520 It's even more difficult when people insist on scribbling 00:06:57.600 --> 00:06:59.280 all over your face. 00:06:59.400 --> 00:07:02.000 O tu 00:07:02.040 --> 00:07:04.040 che vieni 00:07:04.120 --> 00:07:07.520 al dolorose 00:07:07.600 --> 00:07:09.600 - ospizio. - Yes. 00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:12.800 That's my "successfully learned" face. 00:07:14.200 --> 00:07:16.280 Ragazzi. 00:07:16.400 --> 00:07:19.400 Now that I look like Lucifer's Christmas trifle, 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:21.200 it's time for the warm-up. 00:07:28.400 --> 00:07:31.280 Bit unnecessary since we're all about to go to hell. 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:36.000 Or maybe we're already there. 00:07:36.040 --> 00:07:39.240 This is quite liberating, actually. 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:48.000 If aliens don't land after that, I'll be amazed. 00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:53.000 With 15 minutes to go, we assume our positions, 00:07:53.040 --> 00:07:56.800 down a 200-foot-deep limestone abyss. 00:07:56.880 --> 00:07:58.800 The cave is fantastic. 00:07:58.880 --> 00:08:00.440 I mean, I appreciate I'm not gonna be brilliant in this. 00:08:00.520 --> 00:08:01.800 Obviously, I'm not an actor, 00:08:01.840 --> 00:08:04.080 but I don't want to * up all their hard work 00:08:04.200 --> 00:08:06.720 'cause they obviously take this very seriously. 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:08.600 Oh, I think there might be another 00:08:08.640 --> 00:08:11.080 group noisemaking activity. Hold on. 00:08:22.200 --> 00:08:23.680 I now begin to worry 00:08:23.800 --> 00:08:26.040 that we're actually invoking evil entities, 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:29.480 so I try speaking to one directly. 00:08:29.520 --> 00:08:32.520 Where the * is Tom Whitter? Tom! 00:08:32.600 --> 00:08:35.320 Tom? 00:08:35.400 --> 00:08:37.280 What the bloody hell have you got me into? 00:08:37.400 --> 00:08:39.880 I-I don't know. 00:08:40.000 --> 00:08:42.640 I don't know, but I renounce Satan and all my worldly goods. 00:08:42.800 --> 00:08:44.200 Good luck. 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.520 Thanks. Do I go up here? 00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:50.320 Time to shout blue merde. 00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:56.840 The poor audience 00:08:56.880 --> 00:08:59.040 walks through a series of scenes representing 00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:02.280 the nine circles of hell. 00:09:02.400 --> 00:09:05.600 The actors are souls eternally tormented 00:09:05.640 --> 00:09:07.640 for their sins on Earth. 00:09:07.720 --> 00:09:10.320 There's your common or garden sins of wrath 00:09:10.480 --> 00:09:13.680 And some of the lesser-known sins. 00:09:15.960 --> 00:09:17.520 Bridal flatulence, 00:09:17.600 --> 00:09:20.080 excessive hang gliding... 00:09:26.680 --> 00:09:29.720 Finally, the audience arrives at the sin of lust. 00:09:32.760 --> 00:09:34.640 Starring me, Minosa, 00:09:34.720 --> 00:09:36.880 with my chariot pulled by dead perverts. 00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:40.360 I don't know if you can hear me but it's quite kinky. 00:09:44.440 --> 00:09:45.480 I think they're all getting off 00:09:45.560 --> 00:09:46.840 on the ritualistic whipping a bit. 00:09:46.880 --> 00:09:49.080 Their commitment to the cause is inspiring. 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:51.280 So, when in hell... 00:09:51.360 --> 00:09:59.360 O you who come to this... 00:09:59.880 --> 00:10:01.120 What's the other word? 00:10:01.240 --> 00:10:03.960 House of pain. 00:10:04.040 --> 00:10:06.440 A strong start, until I forget my lines 00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:08.360 and start shouting my own name. 00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:13.880 Minosa. Minosa. 00:10:15.120 --> 00:10:18.440 I think I might be getting away with it. 00:10:18.520 --> 00:10:22.640 I eat an apple. 00:10:22.720 --> 00:10:25.120 Where is an apple? 00:10:25.240 --> 00:10:28.440 Where is my Panda? 00:10:28.520 --> 00:10:30.640 Apparently, the director disagrees 00:10:30.720 --> 00:10:33.040 and dispatches Paolo with the script. 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:35.680 Grazie, signore. 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:44.960 Beware how you enter and whom you trust. 00:10:53.280 --> 00:11:00.640 Do not let this grand entrance deceive you. 00:11:02.040 --> 00:11:03.720 Yes. 00:11:03.840 --> 00:11:05.280 Nailed. 00:11:06.920 --> 00:11:08.920 Well, they liked it. 00:11:09.040 --> 00:11:12.520 And surprisingly, so did I. 00:11:12.640 --> 00:11:14.680 - You started really shy. - Yeah, I know. 00:11:14.760 --> 00:11:16.640 Well, to be honest, at first, 00:11:16.680 --> 00:11:18.760 it just looked like a Led Zeppelin album cover, 00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:20.560 and then it got a bit weird, and I thought, 00:11:20.640 --> 00:11:22.280 "What has Tom actually got me into?" 00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:24.640 But then, weirdly, I found that I was 00:11:24.720 --> 00:11:27.640 quite enjoying being damned for all eternity. 00:11:29.920 --> 00:11:31.920 Right. Shall we have a beer? 00:11:34.680 --> 00:11:37.520 Next morning, cleansed of sin and greasepaint, 00:11:37.640 --> 00:11:40.640 we head east into the rugged farmlands of Puglia, 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:43.880 with a lesson in Italian timekeeping. 00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:46.280 If you say that the show starts at 9:00, 00:11:46.360 --> 00:11:48.480 you don't mean that it starts at 9:00. 00:11:48.560 --> 00:11:50.280 You would never start it at 9:00 and think, 00:11:50.360 --> 00:11:51.440 "Well, ten people haven't turned up. 00:11:51.520 --> 00:11:52.760 Tough luck. It's starting." 00:11:52.840 --> 00:11:54.480 You'd wait for the ten people who are late. 00:11:54.560 --> 00:11:55.720 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:57.280 That's-that's... that would be mean. 00:11:57.360 --> 00:11:58.720 I mean, we're not... 00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:01.320 You're not savages. 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:04.880 Now, Puglia is Italy's breadbasket 00:12:04.960 --> 00:12:06.880 and veg basket 00:12:06.960 --> 00:12:08.720 and meat and wine basket. 00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:11.280 Okay, it's Italy's trolley. 00:12:14.680 --> 00:12:16.840 So far, food has been a little bit of a problem 00:12:16.920 --> 00:12:18.280 because, quite often, 00:12:18.360 --> 00:12:20.040 we'll be in the middle of filming something, 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:23.880 and we will become victims of the Italian lunch ambush. 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:27.160 For example, you're looking at an abandoned town, 00:12:27.240 --> 00:12:30.080 a castle, a local dignitary will turn up to welcome us-- 00:12:30.160 --> 00:12:31.720 all very nice-- and then he will say, 00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:35.240 "And now the lunch," and the lunch can go on for three hours. 00:12:35.280 --> 00:12:38.640 So, the way to get around this is to make our own lunch, 00:12:38.680 --> 00:12:41.920 and you do that with one of those. 00:12:42.040 --> 00:12:44.640 Right. What do I do? 00:12:44.720 --> 00:12:46.560 Ask the goat expert. 00:12:47.640 --> 00:12:49.520 Unfortunately, I don't know 00:12:49.640 --> 00:12:51.840 which of these goats is the expert. 00:12:51.920 --> 00:12:53.480 Ow. Stop it. 00:12:55.040 --> 00:12:59.240 Goats are bastards. 00:12:59.280 --> 00:13:01.960 In truth. Stop it. Ow! 00:13:02.040 --> 00:13:04.520 I give up trying to ask the goat for instructions 00:13:04.640 --> 00:13:07.720 and try a human instead, Antonella. 00:13:10.520 --> 00:13:12.480 She opens it. She spreads out her legs. 00:13:12.560 --> 00:13:14.480 And now she's ready. 00:13:14.560 --> 00:13:17.280 Antonella is an artisan cheesemaker. 00:13:17.360 --> 00:13:19.760 She's going to show me how to squeeze milk 00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:24.240 from Bettina here so I can make everyone lunch. 00:13:24.280 --> 00:13:26.160 Give him... give her your hand. 00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:29.120 Yes, milk is coming out, I think, huh? 00:13:29.240 --> 00:13:31.040 Ah, there you go. I'm doing it. 00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.640 - Oh, look at that one. - Wow. 00:13:33.720 --> 00:13:35.160 Bene. 00:13:35.240 --> 00:13:37.120 - Benissimo. - Benissimo. 00:13:37.240 --> 00:13:38.920 Goats are quite friendly animals. 00:13:39.040 --> 00:13:40.960 You could almost have them as pets. 00:13:41.040 --> 00:13:42.480 They're quite inquisitive. 00:13:42.560 --> 00:13:45.080 Um, they're cute. They make a nice noise. 00:13:45.160 --> 00:13:47.160 They tend to r... Oh. 00:13:47.240 --> 00:13:49.840 I can feel the relief in the goat when I do that. 00:13:49.880 --> 00:13:51.280 And she's very warm, 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:52.920 which is quite nice. 00:13:53.040 --> 00:13:56.040 I don't know who's happier among the two of them. 00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:57.840 It feels quite intimate. 00:13:57.880 --> 00:13:59.840 There's a bond of trust between me and this goat. 00:13:59.920 --> 00:14:02.040 I'm squeezing her udder, which is, you know, 00:14:02.120 --> 00:14:03.880 I wouldn't let somebody-- I know they're not related-- 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:06.120 but I wouldn't let somebody squeeze my... 00:14:07.840 --> 00:14:11.840 My chivalrous approach has been rewarded. 00:14:11.880 --> 00:14:14.240 Is it enough to make a small cheese? 00:14:16.080 --> 00:14:17.640 Okay, something... we'll manage to make it. 00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:20.080 Grazie, Bettina, for your bounty. 00:14:20.160 --> 00:14:22.080 Ooh. 00:14:22.160 --> 00:14:25.160 Ay. 00:14:25.240 --> 00:14:27.560 Oh, I'd love to have a goat. 00:14:27.640 --> 00:14:30.840 Turning goat's milk into cheese is a quick and easy process. 00:14:30.920 --> 00:14:34.720 Add some extra milk when you're pouring it there later. 00:14:34.840 --> 00:14:36.760 Or we just work with the milk we've got and you get what you get. 00:14:36.840 --> 00:14:41.640 Just pour that, then when the cameras cut, sneak in an extra half litre. 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:43.440 Anywhere except Italy, that is. 00:14:43.520 --> 00:14:45.480 It's your cheese, whatever you want, 00:14:45.560 --> 00:14:47.240 it was just to make it look better. 00:14:47.280 --> 00:14:48.440 What's that mean? 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:50.840 If you wait, you'll get this result, it's up to you. 00:14:50.880 --> 00:14:53.440 Carry on, calm down. 00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:58.520 Once we finally begin, it all happens very quickly. 00:14:58.640 --> 00:15:00.440 First, the milk is filtered. 00:15:00.520 --> 00:15:03.680 And then the fly remains in the strainer, 00:15:03.760 --> 00:15:06.920 along with a few bits of grass and a bit... few bits of goat. 00:15:07.040 --> 00:15:08.960 Next, it's gently stirred and heated. 00:15:09.040 --> 00:15:11.320 Forty degrees is the temperature you need. 00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:13.160 Thirty-eight, forty. 00:15:15.320 --> 00:15:17.480 - Okay. Perfetto. - Perfetto. 00:15:17.560 --> 00:15:19.040 That's it. 00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:21.240 Now, for delicious-sounding rennet 00:15:21.280 --> 00:15:22.960 from animal guts. 00:15:23.040 --> 00:15:25.080 Bit more? 00:15:25.160 --> 00:15:27.360 Bit more. Oh, that's loads. 00:15:27.440 --> 00:15:30.360 And then you finish it off by hand. 00:15:31.640 --> 00:15:35.240 As if I was once again fondling Bettina. 00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:37.040 Oh, it's doing it. Look, come and see. 00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:39.720 - Sean, look, look. It's going... - D-Don't stir it anymore now. 00:15:39.840 --> 00:15:42.440 Can you see it's going thick? 00:15:42.520 --> 00:15:46.120 Finally, the curd's ready to be squeezed out. 00:15:48.840 --> 00:15:52.640 This is... this is a calm... a calm process. 00:15:52.680 --> 00:15:55.240 It's-it's serene almost, 00:15:55.320 --> 00:15:58.840 and it's at odds with the atmosphere in this room, 00:15:58.880 --> 00:16:01.560 which is slightly frantic. 00:16:01.640 --> 00:16:04.760 And, as if by magico, formaggio. 00:16:04.840 --> 00:16:07.160 Look at the pattern. That characteristic shape 00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:09.040 you get on the little circular goat's cheese 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:11.840 is made by the slots in the potto di slotto. 00:16:11.920 --> 00:16:13.440 This is fantastically exciting. 00:16:13.520 --> 00:16:16.440 Everybody ready for some cheese? 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.240 The crew are ready 00:16:18.280 --> 00:16:20.760 and haven't eaten anything for almost two hours. 00:16:20.840 --> 00:16:23.440 They're faint with hunger. 00:16:23.480 --> 00:16:25.360 And there it is, 00:16:25.440 --> 00:16:28.520 the Italian lunch avoidance cheese. 00:16:28.640 --> 00:16:31.680 This represents a saving of two or three hours 00:16:31.760 --> 00:16:34.280 in our very, very busy filming schedule. 00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:36.120 Cheese is up, everybody. 00:16:36.240 --> 00:16:37.440 Gather round. 00:16:39.240 --> 00:16:40.320 Have a piece of cheese. 00:16:40.440 --> 00:16:42.160 Don't hold back. Just dive in. 00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:44.240 There's plenty of it. 00:16:44.280 --> 00:16:45.640 Right, that's lunch, everyone. 00:16:45.680 --> 00:16:47.520 Oh, that's pretty good. 00:16:47.640 --> 00:16:48.840 There's a tiny, tiny bit left. 00:16:48.920 --> 00:16:49.960 Who would like that? 00:16:50.040 --> 00:16:52.040 - The dog. - The dog. 00:16:53.320 --> 00:16:54.560 Great. Cut. 00:16:56.440 --> 00:16:58.040 Three hours later, 00:16:58.040 --> 00:16:59.720 after a quick snack in a pasta place 00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:02.720 around the corner, we hit the road again. 00:17:02.840 --> 00:17:06.160 Now, look, Paolo, I don't want to appear rude, 00:17:06.240 --> 00:17:09.240 and I certainly don't want to insult your fabulous country 00:17:09.280 --> 00:17:11.120 which I love very much, 00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:15.720 but that whole cheese-making thing was absolute peak Italian. 00:17:15.840 --> 00:17:18.320 Unfortunately, I think so, too. 00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:20.520 What were you all shouting at each other about? 00:17:20.560 --> 00:17:23.320 E-Everything in Italy becomes a big deal. 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:24.960 I think it's down to the language. 00:17:25.040 --> 00:17:29.560 Everything that you say in Italian is a massive event. 00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:33.840 So, in English, we would say, "I eat an apple." 00:17:33.920 --> 00:17:37.040 You know, matter of fact. It's not... it's not a big deal. 00:17:37.040 --> 00:17:39.840 But in Italian, it's, "Io mangio una mela." 00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:41.680 Italians enjoy their own language. 00:17:41.760 --> 00:17:43.840 They like the-the flavor of it and the sound. 00:17:43.920 --> 00:17:45.880 It's all music and poetry. 00:17:47.560 --> 00:17:49.840 Well, we've had the cheese. 00:17:57.280 --> 00:17:58.840 Now for some wine. 00:18:02.160 --> 00:18:04.880 I've said ciao-- or goodbye-- to Puglia 00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:07.920 and headed west to say ciao-- that's hello-- 00:18:08.040 --> 00:18:10.680 to the glamorous Amalfi Coast. 00:18:11.720 --> 00:18:14.280 And just look at it. 00:18:16.840 --> 00:18:20.040 And there is Amalfi, a beautiful town. 00:18:20.040 --> 00:18:22.560 Beautiful weather, beautiful landscape, 00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:25.840 and most importantly, beautiful people. 00:18:25.880 --> 00:18:27.560 I think I might have cracked it. 00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:30.440 Because that is the Amalfi Coast, 00:18:30.520 --> 00:18:32.920 where wealthy people have been coming for centuries 00:18:33.040 --> 00:18:36.040 to enjoy this view, take the air and so on. 00:18:36.120 --> 00:18:38.040 That is the Bay of Naples. 00:18:38.040 --> 00:18:39.760 That is the island of Capri there. 00:18:39.840 --> 00:18:42.120 This is a 72-foot yacht. 00:18:42.240 --> 00:18:45.960 This is a glass of delicious Italian red. 00:18:46.040 --> 00:18:49.040 I think this is la dolce vita. 00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:55.840 I'm sorry, viewers, but from now on, 00:18:55.880 --> 00:18:59.040 you're just going to have to get used to a new, 00:18:59.120 --> 00:19:01.840 suaver, more Italian me. 00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:05.560 Oh, God. 00:19:05.640 --> 00:19:08.040 La dolce vita just went completely wrong. 00:19:08.120 --> 00:19:09.440 I took my eye off the ball 00:19:09.520 --> 00:19:11.280 and off my glass of Valpolicella, 00:19:11.320 --> 00:19:13.440 and, ugh, that happened. 00:19:13.480 --> 00:19:15.120 I've got it all over my trousers, 00:19:15.240 --> 00:19:16.560 all over the poop deck. 00:19:16.640 --> 00:19:19.720 All over my socks, all over this shirt. 00:19:19.840 --> 00:19:22.040 I don't look cool. 00:19:22.160 --> 00:19:23.560 Bollocks. 00:19:23.560 --> 00:19:23.680 Bollocks. 00:19:25.120 --> 00:19:25.200 you were posing next to that Vespa over there. 00:19:29.800 --> 00:19:31.720 - Did I look cute? - Well, I wouldn't say "cute," but... 00:19:31.800 --> 00:19:33.840 - Did I look Italian? - You looked very Italian. 00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:35.000 - There you go. - And you looked happier 00:19:35.120 --> 00:19:36.840 leaning on a Vespa 00:19:36.920 --> 00:19:40.280 than I looked being on an enormous yacht. 00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:42.440 Is that la dolce vita? 00:19:42.520 --> 00:19:45.480 Well, it makes you feel at home, you got a sunny day, 00:19:45.520 --> 00:19:48.840 you're sitting on a Vespa, enjoying the world go by. 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:51.480 It's just enjoying the little things that you have, really. 00:19:51.520 --> 00:19:53.960 I used to have many ambitions when I was younger, 00:19:54.040 --> 00:19:57.200 and then recently, I realized that my remaining ambition 00:19:57.320 --> 00:19:59.320 was to have a fridge that makes ice cubes, 00:19:59.360 --> 00:20:01.000 which I now have. 00:20:01.040 --> 00:20:02.040 - Okay. - And eventually, 00:20:02.120 --> 00:20:03.400 I won't care about that, either. 00:20:03.520 --> 00:20:05.120 And I agree with you, I will want to be able to just go 00:20:05.200 --> 00:20:07.920 somewhere where my mates are sitting, and we will... 00:20:07.960 --> 00:20:09.600 drink a coffee, have a beer, 00:20:09.720 --> 00:20:11.440 play a game of chess or something. 00:20:11.520 --> 00:20:13.360 When I see myself, like, when I'm 75, 00:20:13.440 --> 00:20:15.000 in the main square of my village 00:20:15.040 --> 00:20:17.520 sitting all together drinking a coffee, 00:20:17.640 --> 00:20:19.520 with the younger... younger generation coming up, 00:20:19.600 --> 00:20:21.120 they'll look at me and say, "Hi, Don Paolo." 00:20:21.200 --> 00:20:22.600 "Don." You have to have stick "Don." 00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:23.920 Otherwise, you're not acknowledged 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:25.120 as an important person. 00:20:25.200 --> 00:20:26.320 So, Don Paolo... 00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:28.280 - Okay. Don James. - Don... Exactly. 00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:31.000 It's a lot nicer than the one in Rotherham. 00:20:31.120 --> 00:20:32.400 It's fantastic, actually. 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:36.200 The building dates back to the 1500s. 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.800 The club has been here only for 150 years, 00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:41.480 but the clientele have been here since it opened. 00:20:41.520 --> 00:20:44.280 - Buona sera. - Okay? Take a seat. 00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:46.800 But I can't see any chessboards. 00:20:46.880 --> 00:20:49.400 So, you will be my partner. 00:20:49.440 --> 00:20:51.280 So take care how you play, 00:20:51.400 --> 00:20:53.200 because otherwise, we'll lose, 00:20:53.240 --> 00:20:55.280 - and we lost all the money. - Yes. 00:20:55.400 --> 00:20:56.920 - So it's us against you. - Yeah. Two... 00:20:57.000 --> 00:20:59.080 Okay? What's the game? 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:00.480 That's scopa. 00:21:00.600 --> 00:21:02.400 Similar to bridge, 00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:03.920 where you are teamed with the person opposite 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:06.000 and everyone around you is old, 00:21:06.080 --> 00:21:09.600 scopa is otherwise completely different. 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:12.200 Ten cards with one color. 00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:16.280 See, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 00:21:16.400 --> 00:21:20.200 You have two of another color, you can take if, for example, 00:21:20.280 --> 00:21:23.000 five, plus three eights... 00:21:23.040 --> 00:21:25.640 ...and two other... and two is ten. 00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:26.800 - Right, that's absolutely clear. - Okay. 00:21:26.840 --> 00:21:29.000 The cards aren't even cards. 00:21:29.080 --> 00:21:30.920 - What are these? - Neapolitan cards. 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:35.200 Ah, okay, so uno, or ace. 00:21:35.280 --> 00:21:38.800 This, this sort of king/knight bloke is the ten. 00:21:38.840 --> 00:21:41.600 And then it's obvious because it's the number of-of, um, 00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:42.880 grapefruits. 00:21:44.600 --> 00:21:46.600 Good, I think that's cleared things up. 00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:50.080 Now, in scopa, things escalate quickly. 00:21:50.200 --> 00:21:51.280 Your money, please. 00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:54.440 How much is one hand? 00:21:55.520 --> 00:21:56.880 It can be 100 euro, more or less. 00:21:57.000 --> 00:21:59.640 100 euros. Cento euro? Okay. 00:21:59.720 --> 00:22:02.280 Really? Fine, let's fleece him! 00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:04.920 Let's get him drunk. 00:22:05.000 --> 00:22:07.480 I feel I'm not the first unsuspecting tourist 00:22:07.600 --> 00:22:08.640 Paolo has brought here. 00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:11.600 Can I go like that, and take those two? 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:13.480 - It's eight, it's seven. - See? 00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:16.040 - What's the math? Where's your math? - What's wrong with you? 00:22:16.120 --> 00:22:18.600 - You cannot count. - Seven? Three and five is eight. 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:20.680 - It's five and three. - That's a five. 00:22:20.800 --> 00:22:22.600 - No, no, no, no. Card is down. - Come on... 00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:24.320 - Oh, okay. - Card is down. 00:22:24.400 --> 00:22:26.800 Never mind. At least I'm making friends. 00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:29.000 If he plays the wrong card and lets you win 00:22:29.080 --> 00:22:32.120 I'll chop his head off. 00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:35.280 Paolo's rules are slightly fluid. 00:22:35.400 --> 00:22:37.600 - Ah, clear as... - Oi! 00:22:37.640 --> 00:22:39.200 - The last one doesn't count. - What? What do you mean, 00:22:39.240 --> 00:22:41.400 - it doesn't count? - It didn't count for me, either, earlier on. 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:43.800 It's almost like he can see my cards. 00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:49.120 Ooh. L'ultimo. 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:51.200 My team finishes 00:22:51.240 --> 00:22:53.120 several hundred euros down. 00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:54.320 Spiacente. 00:22:54.400 --> 00:22:56.320 Excuse me, uh... 00:22:59.600 --> 00:23:01.240 - Bye, bye, money. - Go! Go! You're terrible! 00:23:01.320 --> 00:23:04.280 Still, in the quest for la dolce vita... 00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:06.840 Get ready for cutting your head. 00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:08.600 Grazie, grazie. 00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:10.800 ... one. 00:23:12.800 --> 00:23:14.840 Fantastico. 00:23:14.920 --> 00:23:17.520 Right, doppio or quits. 00:23:20.800 --> 00:23:23.080 I lost both games of scopa, 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:25.720 and the forfeit was being sent back to Roman times. 00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:29.440 In case you can't see me, 00:23:29.520 --> 00:23:31.200 I'm the one in yellow. 00:23:31.240 --> 00:23:34.600 It's almost as if everyone else has died. 00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:38.600 Two things shaped my understanding of ancient Rome. 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:41.440 The first was sitting on the sofa watching 00:23:41.520 --> 00:23:45.400 Derek Jacobi in I, Clavdivs, but the second, much earlier on, 00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.400 was our school project on Pompeii, 00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:52.720 the Roman city buried instantly by a volcanic eruption 00:23:52.800 --> 00:23:55.040 and then left completely undisturbed 00:23:55.120 --> 00:23:57.680 for over 1,600 years. 00:23:57.800 --> 00:24:00.840 And here it is. These are the best-preserved 00:24:00.920 --> 00:24:03.200 Roman ruins on the entire planet. 00:24:03.280 --> 00:24:07.880 And remarkably, we have the whole place to ourselves 00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:11.000 for the next two hovrs. 00:24:20.120 --> 00:24:24.040 There are over a hundred acres to explore. 00:24:24.120 --> 00:24:26.640 From cobbled streets and cafés, 00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:30.280 to stylish villas for the Pompeiian elite. 00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.600 Which is obviously where I'd find Paolo. 00:24:33.640 --> 00:24:35.920 This is what would be called a "posh house," isn't it? 00:24:36.000 --> 00:24:37.840 It's a very, it's a very elegant house, 00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:41.000 and it was definitely one of the wealthy ones in Pompeii. 00:24:41.040 --> 00:24:43.400 The house has generally 00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:45.840 very nice decorations all around. 00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:48.280 These four little statues that you see... 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:49.600 - Mm-hmm. - ...those are divinities 00:24:49.640 --> 00:24:51.120 that protect the house. 00:24:51.200 --> 00:24:52.520 They're called Lares. 00:24:52.600 --> 00:24:54.400 They didn't work, then. 00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:59.080 It's hard to appreciate the magnitude of what happened here. 00:24:59.200 --> 00:25:02.600 What's needed at times like this is a relatable metaphor. 00:25:02.680 --> 00:25:07.200 To give you an idea, it's as if 250,000 00:25:07.280 --> 00:25:10.240 fully grown elephants were coming out of the volcano 00:25:10.320 --> 00:25:13.440 every second for 48 hours. 00:25:13.520 --> 00:25:14.520 Not actual elephants, 00:25:14.600 --> 00:25:16.000 - rocks the size of elephants. - No, no. No, I understand. 00:25:16.040 --> 00:25:17.400 Not actual elephants, 00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:19.600 otherwise we'd have found one by now, yeah. 00:25:21.920 --> 00:25:25.400 For you maths fans, that means Pompeii was covered 00:25:25.440 --> 00:25:27.800 in 43.2 billion elephants. 00:25:27.880 --> 00:25:32.200 In Roman numerals, that's MCMLXVIIVCLMLM... 00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:33.840 This is the main street leading up to the forum. 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:35.680 These little openings are things like shops. 00:25:35.800 --> 00:25:37.280 Through there is a big posh house. 00:25:37.400 --> 00:25:38.920 And this would have been incredibly busy 00:25:39.000 --> 00:25:40.440 at the time of the eruption, 00:25:40.520 --> 00:25:43.400 teeming with Romans doing Roman stuff. 00:25:43.480 --> 00:25:45.600 And it probably is worth remembering 00:25:45.640 --> 00:25:50.000 that this, actually, is a mass grave. 00:25:51.920 --> 00:25:55.680 Every artifact found in Pompeii ends up in labs 00:25:55.800 --> 00:25:59.280 run by head anthropologist Valeria Amoretti. 00:25:59.400 --> 00:26:02.680 And many were discovered still in their original glass boxes. 00:26:02.800 --> 00:26:03.880 This is fantastic. 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.920 So this is genuine 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:09.040 - Roman day-to-day stuff? - Yes. 00:26:09.120 --> 00:26:12.120 There's a fresco maker's tools of the trade. 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:14.840 - So, huh, these are artists' paint pots? - Sì. 00:26:14.920 --> 00:26:16.600 And someone's dinner. 00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:19.440 So it's a loaf of bread, and obviously, 00:26:19.520 --> 00:26:21.680 like all the other food in Pompeii, it got burnt. 00:26:21.800 --> 00:26:24.880 But just before it did, somebody had picked it up, 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:27.720 and there's the impression of somebody's thumb. 00:26:27.800 --> 00:26:29.480 Look at that. 00:26:29.600 --> 00:26:31.200 Those are actual Romans. 00:26:31.240 --> 00:26:32.680 Do you get emotional? 00:26:32.800 --> 00:26:34.600 - Yeah. - Yeah. With the... 00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:37.440 'Cause you are, you are friends with all these people now. 00:26:37.520 --> 00:26:39.000 You're connected with their lives. 00:26:39.040 --> 00:26:43.840 We have emotions that are sometimes similar 00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.840 to human comprehension and even tenderness. 00:26:46.920 --> 00:26:52.680 I know that's not scientific but it is real, human. 00:26:52.800 --> 00:26:54.880 Can I hold a pot? 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:56.800 It's heavy. 00:26:56.880 --> 00:26:58.320 - But it's Roman. - Yeah. 00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:00.840 - It's real. - It's real. 00:27:00.920 --> 00:27:03.800 Now I've finally connected with the Roman world 00:27:03.840 --> 00:27:05.400 by putting this in my hands. 00:27:05.440 --> 00:27:07.320 It does, it feels incredibly special. 00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:09.920 Also, quite moving. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:13.400 And terrifying. 00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:15.240 Okay, very carefully. 00:27:15.320 --> 00:27:17.720 - You've definitely got it? - Yes. 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.000 I'm releasing the Roman world. 00:27:21.520 --> 00:27:25.200 - Grazie mille. Fantastico. - Definitely. 00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:31.800 Having touched Roman history, 00:27:31.840 --> 00:27:34.000 I'm ready to dig deeper. 00:27:34.080 --> 00:27:38.080 We've been admitted into the current level of excavation. 00:27:38.200 --> 00:27:39.440 We've had to do a bit of persuading 00:27:39.520 --> 00:27:42.600 to be allowed down here, but here is a wall fresco 00:27:42.680 --> 00:27:46.000 that is currently only about half-exposed. 00:27:46.040 --> 00:27:48.640 I've always wanted to be up close to this sort of thing. 00:27:48.720 --> 00:27:51.400 How much further down do we think it goes? 00:27:51.480 --> 00:27:55.320 Approximately still a metre and a half to go. 00:27:55.400 --> 00:27:57.720 Wow. That's still a lot of stuff to move. 00:27:57.800 --> 00:28:00.200 Carpe diem. 00:28:00.280 --> 00:28:02.400 - I'm being handled... handed the trowel. - Okay. Yeah. 00:28:02.440 --> 00:28:05.000 - To use the Roman memus. - So you're... 00:28:05.040 --> 00:28:08.200 you can remove gently, but whatever you do, 00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:10.520 for God's sake, stay away from that wall. 00:28:10.600 --> 00:28:12.520 I'm-I'm very careful with things. 00:28:12.600 --> 00:28:14.880 I'm not a breaker, I'm a maker. Look at that. 00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:18.000 I'm brushing away the dust of almost 2,000 years. 00:28:18.080 --> 00:28:19.600 I knew people who did archaeology 00:28:19.640 --> 00:28:21.400 at the university level, and they said most of it 00:28:21.480 --> 00:28:24.640 was boring because most of it's actually done by reading books, 00:28:24.720 --> 00:28:27.280 but when you get to the exciting bit, it's very exciting. 00:28:27.400 --> 00:28:29.720 That's a Roman wall. 00:28:29.800 --> 00:28:31.080 I did that. 00:28:31.200 --> 00:28:33.120 That was looked at by Roman people 00:28:33.200 --> 00:28:34.720 who died quite soon afterwards. 00:28:34.800 --> 00:28:37.120 And nobody's seen that until now, 00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:40.280 so... a man called Julius looked at it 00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:42.520 and then I did. 00:28:42.600 --> 00:28:45.840 Paolo, who also works as an official Pompeii guide, 00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:49.000 was now too nervous, so we went outside. 00:28:49.080 --> 00:28:50.720 So if you look over in that direction, 00:28:50.800 --> 00:28:52.320 you can just see the sea, 00:28:52.400 --> 00:28:54.800 which is what, two or three kilometers away? 00:28:54.840 --> 00:28:56.520 Everything that you see from here to there 00:28:56.600 --> 00:28:58.600 is volcanic material that was added 00:28:58.680 --> 00:29:01.200 after the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 AD. 00:29:01.240 --> 00:29:03.320 And that means that this villa that we're standing in, 00:29:03.400 --> 00:29:06.800 or the remains of it, was at the time a seaside house. 00:29:06.880 --> 00:29:08.520 That's the worst example 00:29:08.600 --> 00:29:11.080 of history not teaching anything to anyone, 00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:13.480 because we've built exactly on the same spot. 00:29:13.600 --> 00:29:14.800 So it could happen again? 00:29:14.840 --> 00:29:17.520 But part of the key to being Italian, Paolo, 00:29:17.600 --> 00:29:20.080 is to drink wine and not worry about the volcano. 00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:21.480 Should have had a glass of wine here. 00:29:21.600 --> 00:29:23.040 Should have had a glass of wine, exactly, 'cause... 00:29:23.120 --> 00:29:26.200 I'm not worried, and I'm British. 00:29:29.600 --> 00:29:32.400 Leaving the specter of ancient Rome behind, 00:29:32.440 --> 00:29:34.640 we head on to the final stop 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:38.320 of our Southern Italy sojourno, Naples. 00:29:38.400 --> 00:29:42.400 Other Italians will tell you Naples is filthy, 00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:46.200 falling apart, and to keep a firm grip on your wallet. 00:29:46.280 --> 00:29:48.040 But ask a Neapolitan, 00:29:48.120 --> 00:29:51.600 and they'll tell you it's the life and soul of Italy. 00:29:51.640 --> 00:29:54.040 Your honking was gentle. 00:29:54.120 --> 00:29:55.840 It wasn't aggressive enough. 00:29:55.920 --> 00:29:57.640 That's better. See? 00:29:57.720 --> 00:29:59.320 - And they followed you. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all right. 00:29:59.400 --> 00:30:02.000 Because that's it, they need somebody to start it. 00:30:02.040 --> 00:30:04.600 - It's a fantastic tactic on the right... - Go, go, go, go, go. 00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:06.000 Don't-don't give up, don't give up, don't give up. 00:30:06.080 --> 00:30:07.200 - Don't give up. Yeah. - Yeah, exactly. 00:30:07.280 --> 00:30:08.920 That's how you got to do it, yes. 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:10.840 Now, yes. 00:30:10.920 --> 00:30:12.480 It's all a bit much for a polite Brit. 00:30:12.600 --> 00:30:15.400 Luckily, there's an alternative. 00:30:15.480 --> 00:30:18.400 Now, this episode has a bit of an underground theme, 00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:21.520 so I'm going to travel around by the Naples metro. 00:30:21.600 --> 00:30:24.200 It's cheap, it's very fast, 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:27.840 and in some places, it's a work of art. 00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:31.600 Buon giorno. 00:30:36.080 --> 00:30:38.000 Leaving Paolo in charge of La Mia Panda, 00:30:38.080 --> 00:30:39.600 and the crew to enjoy the traffic, 00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:43.440 I'm filming solo with my trusty scalpy stick. 00:30:43.520 --> 00:30:46.080 Buon giorno. Uh, duomo ritorno, 00:30:46.200 --> 00:30:48.840 per favore? 00:30:48.920 --> 00:30:50.080 Grazie, signor. 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:52.080 To un-bung the roads a bit 00:30:52.200 --> 00:30:53.640 by attracting commuters underground, 00:30:53.720 --> 00:30:56.200 the stations in Naples have been jazzed up 00:30:56.280 --> 00:31:00.600 by the same interior designer as the Starship Enterprise. 00:31:00.680 --> 00:31:02.480 Very cool. 00:31:02.600 --> 00:31:05.600 It changes color. 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:09.640 There you go. It's blue. 00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:19.240 Now reunited with the crew, my next destination 00:31:19.320 --> 00:31:21.640 will be another subterrestrial site 00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:24.200 called the Bourbon Tunnel, 00:31:24.240 --> 00:31:27.040 glamorously accessed via a car park. 00:31:27.120 --> 00:31:30.200 Very nice car park. Doesn't smell of piss. 00:31:30.280 --> 00:31:32.000 When the city was founded 00:31:32.040 --> 00:31:34.320 in the sixth century before Christmas, 00:31:34.400 --> 00:31:37.480 the stone to build it was quarried from underneath, 00:31:37.600 --> 00:31:39.600 leaving behind lots of caves 00:31:39.640 --> 00:31:42.400 and some very white trainers. 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:44.640 - Buon giorno. - Ciao. 00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:47.640 This quarter-mile-long section 00:31:47.720 --> 00:31:50.000 was begun in 1853 for the Bourbon royal family, 00:31:50.080 --> 00:31:52.880 who, being considerably less likeable 00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:54.400 than the biscuit, 00:31:54.440 --> 00:31:57.040 regularly needed to flee from rioting mobs. 00:31:57.120 --> 00:31:59.880 But then more tunnels were added later. 00:32:01.240 --> 00:32:04.800 But this is not just a tunnel, though. This needs to be clear. 00:32:04.840 --> 00:32:07.000 - Oh, - It's a lot more than just a tunnel. 00:32:07.080 --> 00:32:09.080 - Shall we go and have a look? - Yeah. 00:32:09.200 --> 00:32:10.920 Over the years, this became 00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:12.840 a very strange branch 00:32:12.920 --> 00:32:15.400 of the Neapolitan lost and found. 00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:17.120 That bike that got nicked. 00:32:17.200 --> 00:32:18.800 The taxi that never showed up. 00:32:18.840 --> 00:32:21.600 A whole fleet of vehicles impounded in the '60s 00:32:21.640 --> 00:32:24.200 that haven't seen daylight since. 00:32:24.280 --> 00:32:26.200 Oh, Vespas. 00:32:26.280 --> 00:32:28.680 Yeah, there will be some good bits on them for somebody. 00:32:28.800 --> 00:32:30.480 It's quite sad, though, isn't it, really? 00:32:30.600 --> 00:32:32.520 Yeah, for Vespa lovers, for sure. 00:32:32.600 --> 00:32:34.000 - Yeah. - If they see a Vespa in these conditions, 00:32:34.080 --> 00:32:36.000 they probably have a heart attack. 00:32:36.040 --> 00:32:37.600 There are also some, 00:32:37.680 --> 00:32:40.400 shall we say, "neoclassical" statues 00:32:40.440 --> 00:32:42.120 from World War II. 00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:44.400 - That looks a bit facsisty. - It's true, it's true. 00:32:44.480 --> 00:32:46.920 With the fascists being here, um, 00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:51.600 all these statues, like, popped out of the city in many places, 00:32:51.640 --> 00:32:54.040 but then, obviously, at the end of the war, 00:32:54.120 --> 00:32:57.240 nobody wanted to have anything to do with fascists anymore. 00:32:58.280 --> 00:32:59.720 In fact, the tunnels 00:32:59.800 --> 00:33:01.680 were pretty crowded during World War II. 00:33:01.800 --> 00:33:03.280 They also gave refuge 00:33:03.400 --> 00:33:05.240 to Neapolitans escaping the air raids. 00:33:05.320 --> 00:33:08.720 We're now in, like, the bomb shelter. 00:33:08.800 --> 00:33:11.440 Okay? So down here, you needed to have everything 00:33:11.520 --> 00:33:14.520 you could possibly need to survive 00:33:14.600 --> 00:33:16.640 hours, maybe days, sometimes weeks. 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:21.000 And always imagine this with everything shaking 00:33:21.040 --> 00:33:23.800 and the sound of the bombs falling up the top. 00:33:23.840 --> 00:33:25.520 Yes. 00:33:25.600 --> 00:33:29.280 But then, what really makes it sad are the toys. 00:33:29.360 --> 00:33:32.000 I wonder if whoever played with that is still alive 00:33:32.080 --> 00:33:33.840 and occasionally comes down here and looks at it 00:33:33.880 --> 00:33:39.600 and remembers being here in 1943 aged four. 00:33:39.640 --> 00:33:41.600 The thing I really like about the way this is being done 00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:43.200 is that it hasn't been dressed up. 00:33:43.280 --> 00:33:47.000 They've just left the relics pretty much as they found them. 00:33:47.040 --> 00:33:50.320 But it's far more poignant just like that. 00:33:50.360 --> 00:33:55.800 Don't over-restore things. It takes all the ghosts away. 00:33:57.080 --> 00:33:59.240 The more you explore, the further back in time 00:33:59.320 --> 00:34:01.840 these strange tunnels take you. 00:34:03.840 --> 00:34:05.280 In the Roman olden days, 00:34:05.360 --> 00:34:07.840 this was a thriving underground city, 00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:10.880 with homes, markets and even a theater. 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:13.000 Down here. 00:34:13.080 --> 00:34:15.600 - Seriously? - Mm-hmm. Torches. 00:34:15.640 --> 00:34:18.240 And I hope you didn't have too much pizza last night. 00:34:18.320 --> 00:34:21.280 It's as if history is a cone, 00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:23.640 becoming narrower as you go backwards. 00:34:23.720 --> 00:34:26.840 Oh, Paolo. This is tiny. 00:34:27.000 --> 00:34:29.600 And narrower... 00:34:29.640 --> 00:34:31.840 - Oh, seriously? - No. 00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:34.200 How much smaller does it get? 00:34:34.280 --> 00:34:36.400 Until finally, at the pointy end... 00:34:39.680 --> 00:34:41.680 And there's one last, final surprise. 00:34:43.640 --> 00:34:45.880 ...is the Fountain of Youth. 00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:48.000 That is quite surprising. 00:34:49.200 --> 00:34:52.040 You'll notice in the next scene that it hasn't worked. 00:34:52.120 --> 00:34:55.200 These big cavities underground, 00:34:55.240 --> 00:34:56.880 down at the bottom, you have cisterns of water. 00:34:57.000 --> 00:34:59.800 So you would have a well at the top of this. 00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:03.400 Pour a bucket down, get the water, pull it back up. 00:35:03.400 --> 00:35:05.840 That's rather nice, actually. 00:35:05.880 --> 00:35:08.400 It goes on and on and on. 00:35:08.520 --> 00:35:11.200 Yet more tunnels await. 00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:12.600 On the outskirts of the city 00:35:12.680 --> 00:35:15.680 is another underground wonderland. 00:35:15.800 --> 00:35:18.400 We're now going to move back to the 17th century 00:35:18.480 --> 00:35:21.280 and il Cimitaro delle Fontanella. 00:35:21.400 --> 00:35:24.840 Originally, this place was a harmless stone quarry, 00:35:25.000 --> 00:35:26.600 but then, in the mid-17th century, 00:35:26.680 --> 00:35:28.840 a terrible plague ravaged Napoli, 00:35:28.880 --> 00:35:32.080 and it's reckoned that of the 400,000 inhabitants, 00:35:32.200 --> 00:35:34.320 only 150,000 survived. 00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:38.040 That's a reduction of five-eighths, or .625, 00:35:38.120 --> 00:35:39.400 if you're a machinist. 00:35:39.480 --> 00:35:42.200 Anyway, all the dead were brought here, 00:35:42.240 --> 00:35:44.880 so this is another doloroso... 00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:47.400 Buon giorno. 00:35:47.480 --> 00:35:48.480 ...ospizio. 00:35:48.600 --> 00:35:51.120 Essentially, it is a cave... 00:35:55.200 --> 00:35:57.000 Buon giorno. 00:35:59.880 --> 00:36:01.600 ...full of dead Neapolitans. 00:36:01.640 --> 00:36:04.800 I bet you can't wait. It's through here. 00:36:10.120 --> 00:36:14.080 There are around eight million bones in these here caverns. 00:36:14.200 --> 00:36:18.880 Following the plague of 1656, the city graveyards were so full 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:21.880 that at funerals, they pretended to bury bodies 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:24.480 and then stashed them down here instead. 00:36:25.680 --> 00:36:27.600 Oh, geez. 00:36:31.320 --> 00:36:34.040 - Shall I hold your hand? Okay. - No, it's okay. 00:36:34.120 --> 00:36:37.280 These caves were never consecrated ground, 00:36:37.400 --> 00:36:39.720 and in Catholicism, that means the bones' owners 00:36:39.800 --> 00:36:41.680 would never make it to heaven, 00:36:41.800 --> 00:36:45.240 doomed instead to wander between worlds forever. 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:48.400 However, for some enterprising Neapolitans, 00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:50.800 this was a business opportunity. 00:36:50.840 --> 00:36:52.600 Now, you would choose a skull 00:36:52.640 --> 00:36:56.720 that you wanted as your link with the other world. 00:36:56.800 --> 00:37:00.280 You would clean it, put it on a cushion, 00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:02.400 put a rosary around it, 00:37:02.400 --> 00:37:05.840 and you start worshiping that skeleton. 00:37:06.000 --> 00:37:09.600 Because the whole point of this is that these skulls 00:37:09.640 --> 00:37:13.720 should appear to the live people during their dreams at night. 00:37:13.800 --> 00:37:15.720 And what do they need to give them? 00:37:15.800 --> 00:37:17.640 Lotto numbers. 00:37:17.720 --> 00:37:19.720 Rather than resting in peace, 00:37:19.800 --> 00:37:21.240 your adopted skull 00:37:21.320 --> 00:37:24.240 earns its keep by sending you colorful dreams 00:37:24.320 --> 00:37:27.040 which correspond to a series of numbers. 00:37:27.120 --> 00:37:31.600 So if I dreamt that I was fishing, 00:37:31.680 --> 00:37:35.640 but I got a bite, but when I reeled it in, 00:37:35.720 --> 00:37:37.600 it was a supermarket trolley, 00:37:37.680 --> 00:37:39.400 i-is there a series of numbers for that? 00:37:39.480 --> 00:37:40.600 Yeah, we would probably play 00:37:40.680 --> 00:37:44.240 the fishing, the bite 00:37:44.320 --> 00:37:45.600 and the supermarket trolley. 00:37:45.640 --> 00:37:47.840 I'll keep a notebook by my bed. 00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:51.400 As well as hosting a supernatural gambling racket, 00:37:51.400 --> 00:37:55.040 this was also the main hangout for the Neapolitan Mafia. 00:37:55.120 --> 00:37:57.840 What you see here, three crosses. 00:37:58.000 --> 00:37:59.400 At the base, you see the skeletons. 00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:03.600 And according to the Neapolitan dark history, 00:38:03.640 --> 00:38:08.680 this place here is where the Camorra headquarters 00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:10.680 would meet and take all the decisions 00:38:10.800 --> 00:38:12.680 they had to take for the city of Naples. 00:38:12.800 --> 00:38:14.320 Well, I think that's enough 00:38:14.400 --> 00:38:16.200 nightmare fodder for one day. 00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:18.240 What an amazing day out. 00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:21.840 We had bones, bombed-out people, 00:38:21.880 --> 00:38:25.400 superstitions, New Age woo-woo, 00:38:25.520 --> 00:38:27.000 but most importantly, 00:38:27.080 --> 00:38:30.200 I've learned how to win the Italian lottery. 00:38:30.240 --> 00:38:33.200 All I have to do is go to one of the local restaurants 00:38:33.240 --> 00:38:36.720 and eat the local fish soup-- bit of a speciality-- 00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:40.400 have an amazing dream, and then pick my winning numbers. 00:38:40.480 --> 00:38:41.680 Mmm. 00:38:45.600 --> 00:38:47.840 The next morning, over a cappuccino, 00:38:47.880 --> 00:38:50.720 I'm ready to become rich. 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:52.280 So, I had the fish soup... 00:38:52.400 --> 00:38:54.840 - Uh-huh. - ...which famously makes you dream. 00:38:54.880 --> 00:38:58.640 I can tell you that it involved una donna, 00:38:58.720 --> 00:39:01.280 uno strumento enorme... 00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:04.480 ...e formaggio. 00:39:04.600 --> 00:39:06.600 - A woman. - Yes. 00:39:06.640 --> 00:39:08.520 An enormous tool. 00:39:08.600 --> 00:39:10.400 A spanner, actually. Yes. 00:39:10.400 --> 00:39:11.680 - And cheese. - Yes. 00:39:11.800 --> 00:39:12.720 Okay, okay, okay. 00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:14.840 Ooh, is it secret? 00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:16.800 You can have it. 00:39:16.840 --> 00:39:20.640 This is a book that gives a-a number 00:39:20.720 --> 00:39:22.600 - to everything that you dream of. - Farfalle. 00:39:22.640 --> 00:39:24.480 - That's a butterfly, isn't it? Here we go. - Yeah. 00:39:24.600 --> 00:39:26.800 - Yeah, that's from... Hold on. - 21. 00:39:26.840 --> 00:39:29.120 - Yeah, but hold on. - Oh, there's lots of donnas. 00:39:29.200 --> 00:39:32.120 What donna do you want here? A sleeping one, 00:39:32.200 --> 00:39:34.000 that she was sleepy, she beautiful, 00:39:34.080 --> 00:39:35.600 is she not beautiful? 00:39:35.640 --> 00:39:38.240 - If she's clever, if she can cook. - She might be watching. 00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:40.000 Is the lady hairy? 00:39:40.040 --> 00:39:42.400 - No. - There's a 66 for that. 00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:45.080 - Is she frustrated? Uh... - Probably. 00:39:45.200 --> 00:39:46.400 - Let's put it at 25. - Okay. 00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:48.000 - 25. - A beautiful woman. 00:39:48.080 --> 00:39:50.400 Then we said, "a big tool." 00:39:50.520 --> 00:39:52.080 - Right. - Spanner. It was a big spanner. 00:39:52.200 --> 00:39:53.640 I'll put it at six. 00:39:53.720 --> 00:39:56.600 - Okay, 25, six... - 25 and formaggio. 00:39:56.640 --> 00:39:58.200 Formaggio. Is it a shape of cheese? 00:39:58.240 --> 00:39:59.520 Yes, so number ten. 00:39:59.600 --> 00:40:01.400 Six, ten, 25. 00:40:01.400 --> 00:40:03.280 So, so I need some money? 00:40:03.400 --> 00:40:04.480 What was it, 6, 10, 25? 00:40:04.600 --> 00:40:06.240 - Yep. - Okay. 00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.840 Believe what you like, 00:40:08.000 --> 00:40:10.520 but there are more lottery winners from this region 00:40:10.600 --> 00:40:12.400 than any other in Italy. 00:40:13.800 --> 00:40:15.200 Looks like somebody succeeded. 00:40:15.280 --> 00:40:17.240 Yes. The only trouble with this is 00:40:17.320 --> 00:40:20.480 that bloke now knows that I had a dream about a girl 00:40:20.600 --> 00:40:22.520 with a massive spanner and some cheese. 00:40:22.680 --> 00:40:25.480 - Yeah, yeah. - My dream, your nationality. 00:40:25.520 --> 00:40:27.920 Just send me a text when-when the winnings come through. 00:40:28.000 --> 00:40:29.880 - Obviously. - Oh, yeah, yeah, trust me. If you, 00:40:29.920 --> 00:40:31.880 if you win, you'll have a text from me. 00:40:31.920 --> 00:40:33.680 Right, if you're binge-watching this, 00:40:33.720 --> 00:40:36.280 don't expect to see episode three. 00:40:40.520 --> 00:40:43.480 Until then, it's back to the day job. 00:40:43.520 --> 00:40:46.800 And another golden rule for being Italian. 00:40:46.880 --> 00:40:49.680 There is one thing that you need to know in Naples. 00:40:49.720 --> 00:40:54.560 If you put Parmesan on spaghetti vongole... 00:40:54.680 --> 00:40:56.000 ...like, spaghetti with clams. 00:40:56.080 --> 00:40:57.720 If you do something as bad as that... 00:40:57.800 --> 00:41:00.280 - Parmesan on fish, mm-mm-mm. - Which I think is probably 00:41:00.360 --> 00:41:01.960 - the worst thing that you can do. - That's one of those, isn't it? 00:41:02.080 --> 00:41:03.520 Somewhere around Italy, 00:41:03.680 --> 00:41:05.200 a chef is gonna die. 00:41:05.280 --> 00:41:08.760 How odd that Paolo should say that. 00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:11.480 How did he know that's what happens next? 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.320 We can argue for the rest of time 00:41:15.400 --> 00:41:18.000 about who actually invented pizza. 00:41:18.080 --> 00:41:19.680 Yes, there is evidence of something 00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:22.680 rather like a pizza oven in Pompeii. 00:41:22.760 --> 00:41:24.080 And of course, people have been putting things 00:41:24.200 --> 00:41:27.080 on top of flatbread ever since bread was invented, 00:41:27.160 --> 00:41:28.560 because why wouldn't you? 00:41:28.680 --> 00:41:31.960 But the fact remains that the modern pizza, 00:41:32.080 --> 00:41:35.400 that is, with a thin crust and a cheese and tomato base, 00:41:35.480 --> 00:41:39.080 is a Neapolitan invention of the 19th century. 00:41:39.160 --> 00:41:42.360 I dare you to come here and claim otherwise. 00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:44.960 So, since we're in Napoli, 00:41:45.080 --> 00:41:48.000 I thought I should show you how to make a pizza. 00:41:48.080 --> 00:41:49.800 And I'm going to do this at-- 00:41:49.880 --> 00:41:51.960 guess what, they do have one-- 00:41:52.080 --> 00:41:54.680 pizza school. 00:41:58.680 --> 00:42:01.520 If Naples is the birthplace of pizza, 00:42:01.680 --> 00:42:03.520 the Association for True Neapolitan Pizza 00:42:03.680 --> 00:42:06.480 are the rule makers, and Chef Enzo 00:42:06.520 --> 00:42:08.720 is head of law enforcement. 00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:10.960 That's very close. 0.94. 00:42:11.080 --> 00:42:12.520 Oh, this is engineering precision. 00:42:12.560 --> 00:42:15.360 The yeast must weigh one gram exactamente. 00:42:15.480 --> 00:42:18.160 - Oh... Whoa! - Yeah! 00:42:18.280 --> 00:42:21.880 1.00. 00:42:21.920 --> 00:42:25.360 And for the base, the flour must be type 00. 00:42:25.480 --> 00:42:27.160 Accept no substitutes. 00:42:27.280 --> 00:42:28.680 Okay, so it has to be an even paste. 00:42:28.720 --> 00:42:31.080 - Mine is a bit lumpy, it must be said. - Okay. 00:42:31.080 --> 00:42:32.560 Why are you treating the dough this way? 00:42:32.680 --> 00:42:34.080 What has it done to you, James? 00:42:34.080 --> 00:42:37.560 The dough is my friend. 00:42:37.680 --> 00:42:38.880 Doesn't look like it. 00:42:38.920 --> 00:42:40.080 - So, could we just... - Okay. 00:42:40.080 --> 00:42:41.200 - Grazie. - Ah, voilà. 00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:42.480 Can we just pause for a moment 00:42:42.520 --> 00:42:44.680 to compare my hands and Enzo's hands? 00:42:44.760 --> 00:42:46.520 So there's my hands, there's Enzo's. 00:42:48.800 --> 00:42:51.200 I don't know why. It's a mystery. 00:42:51.280 --> 00:42:54.120 Anyway, the dough must rest for at least eight hours, 00:42:54.200 --> 00:42:56.720 so on that note, I'll see you tomorrow. 00:42:59.280 --> 00:43:00.880 Oh, all right. 00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:02.880 Here's some Enzo made earlier. 00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:06.160 We push the air from the middle to the edge. 00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:08.080 Uh, okay. 00:43:08.160 --> 00:43:11.320 The base may be no thicker than 2.5 millimeters. 00:43:11.400 --> 00:43:13.560 Excuse me, what technique is this, James? 00:43:13.680 --> 00:43:15.200 - Scusami. - I... Well, I was just, 00:43:15.280 --> 00:43:16.800 I was trying to fudge it. 00:43:16.880 --> 00:43:18.680 - Okay? Perfetto. - Yes. 00:43:23.880 --> 00:43:26.960 That was a very polite way of saying that was utter crap. 00:43:27.080 --> 00:43:28.880 - James? - So that's it? 00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:30.080 Prego. 00:43:33.680 --> 00:43:35.280 So you can just do it for me 00:43:35.320 --> 00:43:36.760 and then we'll pretend that... 00:43:36.880 --> 00:43:38.560 That'll do. 00:43:38.680 --> 00:43:40.080 Topping time. 00:43:40.120 --> 00:43:42.000 And this is a big moment for me, viewers, 00:43:42.080 --> 00:43:44.800 because, if what I'm about to suggest 00:43:44.880 --> 00:43:47.520 goes down well with the Associazione, 00:43:47.600 --> 00:43:50.880 it could change the course of pizza history forever. 00:43:50.920 --> 00:43:52.880 80 grammes of cheese. 00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:54.680 I do not need 00:43:54.720 --> 00:43:57.480 to put the cheese on my pizza 00:43:57.560 --> 00:44:01.480 because I am making a special pizza: no cheese. 00:44:01.560 --> 00:44:03.080 - It's okay. - You're just going to agree to it, 00:44:03.200 --> 00:44:04.280 not kill me or anything? 00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:05.880 It depends on the ingredients. 00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:09.600 We want to try and make a full English breakfast pizza. 00:44:09.680 --> 00:44:11.880 Oh, my God. 00:44:11.960 --> 00:44:14.480 It's not possible to use all these ingredients. 00:44:14.560 --> 00:44:15.360 Yes, it is. 00:44:15.480 --> 00:44:17.480 If Enzo can loosen up a bit 00:44:17.560 --> 00:44:20.480 and forget those rules, I think he might be won over 00:44:20.560 --> 00:44:23.720 by my medley of black pudding, bacon and sausage. 00:44:23.800 --> 00:44:25.680 That's probably enough. 00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:29.160 With what I hope will be a cooked egg centerpiece. 00:44:29.280 --> 00:44:30.960 Ready? Are we getting this, cameras? 00:44:31.080 --> 00:44:33.000 This is an important moment. 00:44:33.080 --> 00:44:34.280 There is the egg. 00:44:34.360 --> 00:44:37.080 Garnished with a baked bean jus. 00:44:37.120 --> 00:44:39.600 - Hello, this is the pizza... - - I don't know if a Neopolitan 00:44:39.680 --> 00:44:42.080 oven will allow a pizza like that inside it. 00:44:42.120 --> 00:44:43.480 What, you think the-the oven 00:44:43.520 --> 00:44:45.520 might actually regurgitate my pizza? 00:44:45.600 --> 00:44:47.520 - Let's see. - Sì. 00:44:47.600 --> 00:44:50.280 - Whoa, ah. - Bravo. 00:44:53.880 --> 00:44:54.880 I am speechless. 00:44:57.320 --> 00:44:58.720 This is going well, 00:44:58.800 --> 00:45:00.520 in that I haven't ended up in the oven. 00:45:03.920 --> 00:45:06.000 Oh, for God's sake. You'd think in Italy, 00:45:06.080 --> 00:45:09.120 they'd make a top box that takes a pizza. 00:45:09.200 --> 00:45:13.280 No matter, I'm delivering it to a very important customer. 00:45:13.320 --> 00:45:14.880 Avanti. 00:45:17.480 --> 00:45:21.400 And to do that, I get to ride an actual Vespa 00:45:21.480 --> 00:45:23.360 through the actual streets of Naples. 00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:26.520 125cc Vespa, 00:45:26.600 --> 00:45:29.280 one of the machines that made Italy what it is. 00:45:29.360 --> 00:45:31.560 Original design from 1948, 00:45:31.680 --> 00:45:36.120 Corradino D'Ascanio, former aerospace engineer. 00:45:36.200 --> 00:45:39.480 Which is why it has some aeroplane-like features to it, 00:45:39.560 --> 00:45:43.280 such as, uh, pseudo-olio front suspension leg. 00:45:43.320 --> 00:45:45.800 He made it like that so it would cope with 00:45:45.880 --> 00:45:48.160 rough, unmade roads, like the ones in Naples. 00:45:48.280 --> 00:45:50.000 Cobbles, cobbles. 00:45:50.080 --> 00:45:51.720 Buon giorno. 00:45:51.800 --> 00:45:54.360 See how the pizza box remains balanced on the top box? 00:45:54.480 --> 00:45:56.320 Nothing can stop pizza. 00:45:56.400 --> 00:45:58.960 Except cobbles. 00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:01.920 Anyway, this imposing figure 00:46:02.000 --> 00:46:04.200 is Don Antonio Pace, 00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:09.560 the president of the Association of True Neapolitan Pizza, 00:46:09.680 --> 00:46:12.080 and it's said he's not a patient man. 00:46:12.120 --> 00:46:15.320 La mia pizza e getting freddo. 00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:19.360 Now while we're alone, viewers, I must own up to something. 00:46:19.480 --> 00:46:21.480 Scusiamo, scusiamo. 00:46:21.520 --> 00:46:23.680 Molto importante pizza. 00:46:23.760 --> 00:46:25.520 Adding bean jus to my pizza 00:46:25.600 --> 00:46:29.400 may have compromised its structural integrity. 00:46:29.480 --> 00:46:33.480 - Buona sera, Signor Presidente. - Buona sera. 00:46:33.520 --> 00:46:36.280 Buona sera. 00:46:36.320 --> 00:46:41.080 The full English Breakfast Pizza. 00:46:45.320 --> 00:46:46.280 What's this? 00:46:47.920 --> 00:46:49.920 Can I give you a compliment? 00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:52.520 You have made the most terrible pizza I have ever seen. 00:46:52.600 --> 00:46:54.680 Ah, grazie, Signor Presidente. 00:46:54.760 --> 00:46:56.880 Uh, nevertheless... 00:46:56.960 --> 00:46:58.000 Uh... 00:47:00.680 --> 00:47:04.920 It's you who should be paying damages to the city of Naples and me! 00:47:05.000 --> 00:47:08.960 This pizza is an insult to pizza! 00:47:09.080 --> 00:47:10.360 When are you leaving the city? 00:47:12.960 --> 00:47:14.080 Now. 00:47:15.720 --> 00:47:17.480 Well, now I'm Napoli's public enemy number one, 00:47:17.560 --> 00:47:20.360 I should probably say goodbye to my number two 00:47:20.480 --> 00:47:23.400 before I go into hiding in episode three. 00:47:24.880 --> 00:47:27.280 Well, Paolo, it's time for me to say goodbye to you, 00:47:27.320 --> 00:47:29.680 which obviously I find very awkward because I'm British. 00:47:29.720 --> 00:47:32.520 You've been excellent. And you've given me a top tip 00:47:32.600 --> 00:47:35.320 for my collection of rules on being Italian, 00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:36.880 which is always make sure that your shoes 00:47:36.920 --> 00:47:39.800 coordinate or match your belt. 00:47:39.880 --> 00:47:41.600 Yeah. I'll tell you one thing. 00:47:41.680 --> 00:47:43.880 It's terrible news, but somebody has to tell you. 00:47:43.920 --> 00:47:46.280 - You've not won the lottery. - You're kidding. 00:47:46.320 --> 00:47:48.360 After those numbers came to me in a dream? 00:47:48.480 --> 00:47:50.800 That's probably because you're not, you're not Italian yet. 00:47:50.880 --> 00:47:54.880 You need to complete your evolution into fully Italian. 00:47:54.920 --> 00:47:56.960 And once you come back, with all the knowledge 00:47:57.080 --> 00:47:58.480 you've acquired along the trip, 00:47:58.560 --> 00:47:59.760 play those numbers again. 00:48:01.480 --> 00:48:03.680 Well, I'm sure if my numbers do come up, 00:48:03.760 --> 00:48:06.400 Paolo will let me know of my good fortune. 00:48:06.480 --> 00:48:08.080 Well, that's the end of Naples. 00:48:08.160 --> 00:48:12.160 And I'd like to say that Naples has a bit of a bad reputation, 00:48:12.280 --> 00:48:15.080 and to a large extent, I'm afraid it is deserved. 00:48:15.160 --> 00:48:18.520 It is quite tatty, a lot of it is falling apart. 00:48:18.600 --> 00:48:23.360 But... how can I say it without being clichéd or disrespectful? 00:48:23.480 --> 00:48:24.800 It's enjoyably rough-arsed. 00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:28.880 Anyway, on that note, I think I'll go to Rome, 00:48:28.920 --> 00:48:30.560 since I must already be on the way 00:48:30.680 --> 00:48:33.920 because I'm on a road, and that's where they all go. 00:48:34.000 --> 00:48:36.080 See you there.