WEBVTT 00:00:09.720 --> 00:00:11.320 Bim, guess what? 00:00:13.400 --> 00:00:15.160 [James] That's closure. 00:00:16.200 --> 00:00:18.000 Now for season two. 00:00:31.160 --> 00:00:32.400 Hello, viewers. 00:00:32.520 --> 00:00:35.120 Or should I say buon giorno, 00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:36.680 with a little wave of the hand like that, 00:00:36.760 --> 00:00:38.800 because that is supposedly what they do around here. 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:42.000 Yes, I am in Italy, and I bet when I say that, 00:00:42.080 --> 00:00:45.120 none of you go, "OMG, why has he gone to that hellhole," 00:00:45.200 --> 00:00:48.240 because no one has ever said that about Italy. 00:00:48.320 --> 00:00:50.680 Italy is generally regarded as having 00:00:50.760 --> 00:00:53.840 the most enviable lifestyle on the planet. 00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:56.280 Now, there are many clichés and stereotypes 00:00:56.360 --> 00:00:58.280 about Italy and the Italians, 00:00:58.360 --> 00:01:00.200 apart from the one about waving your arms around a lot. 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:04.040 Chief amongst them, though, must be the belief in la dolce vita, 00:01:04.040 --> 00:01:08.240 the sweet life, the pursuit and embrace of simple pleasures 00:01:08.280 --> 00:01:11.320 as the bedrock for human fulfillment. 00:01:11.440 --> 00:01:14.760 Now, does la dolce vita really exist? 00:01:14.840 --> 00:01:17.120 And more importantly, if it does, 00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:22.800 can a shabby and slightly uptight Englishman achieve it? 00:01:22.880 --> 00:01:25.960 Well, as I'm sure they must say on Italian television... 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:28.000 [speaks Italian] Let's find out. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:33.680 Right, you can get to that cheesy pre-title bit now. 00:01:38.440 --> 00:01:41.440 Anyone can make a travelogue with the right ingredients. 00:01:41.520 --> 00:01:43.480 How's my helmet? 00:01:43.560 --> 00:01:44.880 A dash of jaunty music... 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:49.360 ...a bit of national dress... 00:01:49.440 --> 00:01:51.000 Have you ever before painted 00:01:51.080 --> 00:01:52.720 someone dressed up like a bird? 00:01:52.840 --> 00:01:56.120 ...and a presenter who knows his culo from his elbow. 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:58.120 It doesn't amaze you, 00:01:58.160 --> 00:02:01.520 but it would've amazed you if you'd been here then. 00:02:05.480 --> 00:02:07.200 What do we know about Italy? 00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:10.080 - Viva l'italia! - [shouting in Italian] 00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:11.840 [James] Yes, the hand gestures. 00:02:11.920 --> 00:02:14.840 Also, fashionistas, fast cars, 00:02:14.920 --> 00:02:16.720 - kicking *... - [both oohing] 00:02:16.800 --> 00:02:18.720 ...and every carbohydrate under the sun. 00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:21.000 Nothing can stop pizza. 00:02:21.080 --> 00:02:23.480 But I'm going a bit deeper... 00:02:25.480 --> 00:02:27.840 ...exploring vast rural expanses... 00:02:27.920 --> 00:02:29.880 I'm all knackered now and I can't speak. 00:02:29.920 --> 00:02:32.200 ...and fast-paced cities. 00:02:32.320 --> 00:02:34.080 - [horn honking] - Ooh. [chuckles] 00:02:34.160 --> 00:02:35.800 Perfect. 00:02:35.880 --> 00:02:37.120 [James] In a bid to uncover... 00:02:37.200 --> 00:02:39.560 This is cheese. 00:02:39.640 --> 00:02:41.800 ...a country of contrasts. 00:02:41.920 --> 00:02:43.360 But I actually can't see through this. 00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:45.320 Some old bits, some new bits... 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:48.200 This is the place you should come to 00:02:48.240 --> 00:02:50.040 if you want to know what's happening 00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:51.680 with robots. 00:02:53.040 --> 00:02:54.880 - The passionate... - Yeah! 00:02:57.040 --> 00:02:58.240 ...the musical... 00:03:01.480 --> 00:03:03.160 ...and the dramatic. 00:03:03.280 --> 00:03:05.880 [speaking Italian] Where is my Panda? 00:03:05.960 --> 00:03:07.480 Where size does matter... 00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:10.000 Absolutely massive. 00:03:10.040 --> 00:03:12.280 ...and nothing is left to the imaginazione. 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.360 That one's got a deformed *. 00:03:16.640 --> 00:03:17.840 So, join me 00:03:17.920 --> 00:03:20.320 as I fiddle through the inferno... 00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:21.520 That was epic. 00:03:21.600 --> 00:03:23.360 ...still in peak condition... 00:03:23.440 --> 00:03:24.920 Bollocks. 00:03:25.000 --> 00:03:26.320 ...traveling from sun-drenched Sicily 00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:29.040 up through the boot 00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:30.320 to the icy north. 00:03:30.400 --> 00:03:32.280 It's absolutely gorgeous. 00:03:32.360 --> 00:03:34.560 A British sophisticate... 00:03:34.640 --> 00:03:36.880 All over my trousers, all over the poop deck. 00:03:36.960 --> 00:03:38.600 ...seeking enlightenment... 00:03:38.680 --> 00:03:40.480 [speaking Italian] What the * do you want! 00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:41.840 ...and risking his life... 00:03:41.920 --> 00:03:43.720 Some bloke kept whipping me with a stick 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:45.320 going "Ooh." 00:03:46.640 --> 00:03:48.000 I hope that was as enjoyable for you to watch 00:03:48.080 --> 00:03:50.560 as it was for me to experience. 00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:52.680 But I bet it wasn't. 00:04:12.640 --> 00:04:14.240 Now, I'd like to talk to you a little bit 00:04:14.280 --> 00:04:16.120 about my car for this adventure, 00:04:16.240 --> 00:04:19.280 which is, you'll have spotted by now, a Fiat Panda. 00:04:19.320 --> 00:04:23.000 Not a Cinquecento, not a Ferrari or a Maserati. 00:04:23.080 --> 00:04:26.040 No, it's a Fiat Panda because the Panda is excellent, 00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:29.760 and it is simply part of the dust of Italy. 00:04:31.520 --> 00:04:33.880 I have two principle objectives for this trip. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:35.960 The first is to see if I can arrive 00:04:36.040 --> 00:04:40.200 at a sort of ten commandments of being Italian 00:04:40.280 --> 00:04:43.720 and living this dolce vita. 00:04:43.760 --> 00:04:45.600 But I know one already: do not drink a cappuccino 00:04:45.680 --> 00:04:47.400 after 11:00 a.m. 00:04:47.440 --> 00:04:50.200 That is considered very bad form. 00:04:53.320 --> 00:04:57.200 My other objective is to not become fat. 00:05:00.320 --> 00:05:02.640 As you may have guessed from this handy map, 00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:04.560 we're starting in Sicily, 00:05:04.640 --> 00:05:07.440 known for its lemons, the Mafia 00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:11.080 and the Sicilian defense in chess. 00:05:11.200 --> 00:05:15.040 Our first port of call is the capital, Palermo. 00:05:16.400 --> 00:05:19.440 And, with over 250 days of sun a year, 00:05:19.440 --> 00:05:23.400 Sicily is an absolute gift for TV and filmmakers. 00:05:32.520 --> 00:05:36.400 Buon giorno, io no, uh, uno... no lo ombrello. 00:05:36.480 --> 00:05:39.040 I do not have an umbrella. This is the weather today. 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:42.120 Today I was going to go into town and meet my guide Claudia, 00:05:42.200 --> 00:05:44.560 um, but it's... we've sort of postponed it 00:05:44.640 --> 00:05:46.960 because the impression I get... again, this may be a cliché... 00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:49.800 Sicily, because it's an outdoor society, 00:05:49.880 --> 00:05:52.080 is not equipped for rain. 00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:54.120 Plus, of course, there will be no Italian men out 00:05:54.200 --> 00:05:55.640 because they'll be worried about their hair. 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:58.000 And I understand that. 00:05:58.080 --> 00:06:01.120 Still, with over 250 days of sunshine a year, 00:06:01.200 --> 00:06:04.000 statistically, the next day should be... 00:06:04.080 --> 00:06:07.160 ♪ ♪ 00:06:07.200 --> 00:06:09.320 Palermo city center. 00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:11.960 It was the crossroads of the ancient world. 00:06:12.040 --> 00:06:14.040 It's also the crossroads of the modern one. 00:06:14.160 --> 00:06:17.800 And no, not everyone here is a mobster. 00:06:17.880 --> 00:06:19.600 Certainly not this one. 00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:21.320 Today I am joined by Claudia. 00:06:21.440 --> 00:06:23.640 - Buon giorno. Who will be... - Buon giorno. 00:06:23.720 --> 00:06:25.000 ...my guide for Sicily. 00:06:25.040 --> 00:06:26.720 I'm already waving my arms around a lot. 00:06:26.840 --> 00:06:29.080 Uh, al vostro servizio. 00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:31.960 - Oh, I am at your service. - No, I'm at your service. 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:37.560 [James] Over the centuries, 00:06:37.640 --> 00:06:41.280 every civilization and its dog has had a bash at Palermo, 00:06:41.360 --> 00:06:43.800 from the ancient Greeks to the Vikings, 00:06:43.880 --> 00:06:46.160 the Normans to the Moors, the butchers, the bakers, 00:06:46.240 --> 00:06:49.680 the mosaici makers, even the Italians. 00:06:49.760 --> 00:06:51.520 [Claudia] This is the famous Church 00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:53.560 of Martorana. 00:06:53.640 --> 00:06:57.240 Through the centuries, um, who's restored the church 00:06:57.320 --> 00:07:01.040 decided to add the architectural style of the era. 00:07:01.120 --> 00:07:04.280 [James] I would say that that end looks Islamic, 00:07:04.400 --> 00:07:07.320 that doorway is definitely newer. 00:07:07.400 --> 00:07:09.160 - What, 17th century? Maybe. - [Claudia] Yeah. 00:07:09.280 --> 00:07:10.360 This is the most 00:07:10.480 --> 00:07:11.920 celebrated church, 00:07:11.960 --> 00:07:14.320 and it became the symbol of Palermo. 00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.760 [James] Originally built in the 12th century, 00:07:17.840 --> 00:07:20.400 this architectural smorgasbord houses 00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:23.800 some incredible Byzantine artwork. 00:07:23.840 --> 00:07:26.360 But it's easier for a camel to pass through 00:07:26.400 --> 00:07:28.400 the eye of a needle than for a film crew 00:07:28.440 --> 00:07:30.840 to observe silence in a functioning church, 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:33.760 so Claudia and I are going gonzo. 00:07:33.880 --> 00:07:36.040 So, we'll have to get a selfie stick. 00:07:36.080 --> 00:07:37.400 - Okay. - And film it... 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:38.640 - Oh. - ...with the iPhone. 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:40.440 - Other phones are available. - Great idea. 00:07:40.520 --> 00:07:42.040 Okay, there will be a selfie stick on this stall here. 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:43.640 - I'm absolutely sure of it. - Okay. 00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:45.320 I'll give you a million pounds if she hasn't got one 00:07:45.400 --> 00:07:48.480 - by the time we get there. - Okay, let's do it. 00:07:48.520 --> 00:07:50.320 - Prego. - Ah, grazie mille. 00:07:50.400 --> 00:07:51.920 [chuckles] Grazie. 00:07:53.440 --> 00:07:54.520 [James] Fantastico. 00:07:54.600 --> 00:07:58.840 Presenting I mosaici di Martorana, 00:07:58.920 --> 00:08:00.440 an original production. 00:08:02.520 --> 00:08:04.320 [James] It's absolutely incredible. 00:08:04.360 --> 00:08:06.080 Just the colors are amazing. 00:08:07.960 --> 00:08:10.400 Ah! 00:08:10.440 --> 00:08:13.280 That is superb. 00:08:13.400 --> 00:08:15.080 And Christ actually is on high 00:08:15.200 --> 00:08:17.440 because he's at the highest point of the church, 00:08:17.480 --> 00:08:19.120 and looking down on you. 00:08:19.240 --> 00:08:22.520 [Claudia] It's all full of Greek inscriptions. 00:08:25.280 --> 00:08:27.960 [James] Jesus gets in a lot of appearances in here, doesn't he? 00:08:29.280 --> 00:08:31.200 [James] It's a good job he didn't have an agent. 00:08:31.320 --> 00:08:33.960 I bet my camerawork's terrible. 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:37.960 I think we're going to get thrown out in a minute. 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:47.440 Once reunited with our crew of supposed professionals, 00:08:47.520 --> 00:08:51.080 the next stop is the city's anarchic heart. 00:08:51.160 --> 00:08:54.240 [Claudia] We are in the famous Piazza Pretoria, 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:55.720 Pretoria Square. 00:08:57.320 --> 00:08:59.840 The square is also called the square of Shame 00:08:59.920 --> 00:09:04.640 because of the shameful expenses the government afforded 00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:08.320 to bring the fountain from Florence to Palermo. 00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:11.960 Sadly, it became a symbol of the bad government. 00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:15.800 [James] And that's not the only reason for its name. 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:19.840 - That one's got a deformed *. - [laughs] 00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:19.960 [Claudia] Because the nuns were offended by the naked statues. 00:09:20.000 --> 00:09:22.360 This is why, probably, they cut arms 00:09:22.400 --> 00:09:24.600 - and parts of their body. - That explains why 00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:26.200 his-his old chap's a bit... 00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:28.680 - in a bit of a state. - [Claudia] Yeah. Yeah. 00:09:28.800 --> 00:09:30.680 [James] And why have they knocked her arms off? 00:09:30.800 --> 00:09:32.280 Arms aren't offensive. 00:09:32.400 --> 00:09:34.720 Uh, probably because they were gesturing like that. 00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:37.280 - Oh. - Yeah, so... 00:09:37.400 --> 00:09:40.080 [James] The sisters chiseled her * off as well. 00:09:40.160 --> 00:09:42.680 So did Michelangelo give David a very small * 00:09:42.760 --> 00:09:45.600 so that nuns in the next artistic era 00:09:45.680 --> 00:09:47.880 - would not be offended by him? - [Claudia laughs] 00:09:53.960 --> 00:09:55.680 [James] Right, that's culture ticked off. 00:09:55.760 --> 00:09:58.120 Now we can relax. 00:09:59.880 --> 00:10:02.040 Today, Claudia and I are going fishing, 00:10:02.120 --> 00:10:03.680 because that's what you do when you're on holiday. 00:10:03.760 --> 00:10:05.360 Actually we probably shouldn't say when you're on holiday. 00:10:05.400 --> 00:10:08.720 That's what you do when you are, uh, 00:10:08.800 --> 00:10:11.600 uncovering the secrets of a really rather complex history 00:10:11.680 --> 00:10:15.240 of an island, Sicily, much of whose fortune 00:10:15.280 --> 00:10:17.040 is based on fishing. 00:10:17.080 --> 00:10:19.520 That's why we're going fishing. 00:10:22.040 --> 00:10:26.040 This is Sciacca, one of the biggest fishing ports in Sicily. 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:30.040 Our host for our research trip is Matteo. 00:10:31.760 --> 00:10:32.920 Here. 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:34.520 - Grazie. [grunts] - Perfect. Okay. 00:10:35.520 --> 00:10:37.360 That was a bit uncool. 00:10:37.400 --> 00:10:39.120 Clear aft. 00:10:40.160 --> 00:10:42.240 So it's time to set sail 00:10:42.400 --> 00:10:45.880 on Sicily's bountiful and surprisingly turbulent waters. 00:10:48.560 --> 00:10:50.360 Since I once hosted an unsuccessful cooking show, 00:10:50.480 --> 00:10:55.560 I plan to knock up a spot of lunch with our catch. 00:10:55.680 --> 00:10:59.000 Uh, situation update: it's quite choppy. 00:11:00.440 --> 00:11:03.160 Okay, let's throw some bait? 00:11:03.240 --> 00:11:05.320 You're on this? This is... This is, like, a shrimp. 00:11:05.400 --> 00:11:07.840 - [Claudia] It's delicious. - Do I eat it? 00:11:07.920 --> 00:11:10.160 - [laughs] No, no, no, please. - Non mangiare? 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:13.080 Here comes the big one. 00:11:13.160 --> 00:11:14.960 - [both laugh] - [James] Okay. 00:11:15.040 --> 00:11:17.320 Despite the increased risk of sleeping 00:11:17.400 --> 00:11:18.680 with the fishes... 00:11:18.760 --> 00:11:21.560 I hope I don't just stick it in my finger. 00:11:21.640 --> 00:11:25.000 ...we bait our hooks and our breath. 00:11:25.080 --> 00:11:29.320 Il pesce is on the linea when it goes "zzz." 00:11:29.400 --> 00:11:31.440 Now there's nothing to do but wait 00:11:31.520 --> 00:11:34.120 for something to tug on my rod. 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:41.000 Meanwhile, back on terra firma, 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:44.800 the locals are rustling up a couple of side dishes 00:11:44.920 --> 00:11:46.440 to accompany my fishy centerpiece. 00:11:49.800 --> 00:11:51.120 Now this just in, 00:11:51.200 --> 00:11:52.360 Matteo seemed to have caught something 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:54.040 because his rod was bending, but apparently, 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.760 - he's-he's caught a rock. - No. Rock. 00:11:56.880 --> 00:12:01.240 So we've caught the planet Earth from our fishing boat so far. 00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:04.280 Not sure that'll fit on the grill. 00:12:06.160 --> 00:12:10.120 Then, by a miracle for once not manufactured by television... 00:12:10.200 --> 00:12:12.120 - Oh, it is here? - [Claudia] Fishy, fishy. 00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:14.080 - [James] There, there. Fish, fish. - [Claudia] Fish, fish, fish. 00:12:15.560 --> 00:12:17.800 [James] Am I turning it the right way? 00:12:18.880 --> 00:12:20.520 He's gone over there somewhere. 00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:24.040 Ooh, this is a big fish. Yeah, it's a big fish, big fish. 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:26.800 It's a battle worthy of Hemingway, 00:12:26.880 --> 00:12:29.200 Melville or J.R. Hartley. 00:12:29.280 --> 00:12:30.840 It's a proper fish. 00:12:33.680 --> 00:12:35.400 - [Matteo] Amberjack. - Amberjack? 00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:36.640 [Claudia] Amberjack. 00:12:36.720 --> 00:12:38.040 Is that big enough to eat? 00:12:38.120 --> 00:12:40.160 [Claudia] Yes, it's a portion. 00:12:40.280 --> 00:12:41.760 We need ten of these. 00:12:41.880 --> 00:12:44.360 [James] One down, nine to go. 00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:57.560 - Oh, it's really heavy. - It's a bit heavy. 00:12:57.640 --> 00:12:59.960 The locals are already lining up 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:02.920 in rapturous and ravenous anticipation. 00:13:03.040 --> 00:13:04.200 Catch is in. 00:13:07.160 --> 00:13:09.600 [James] Come and behold the fruit of the fecund ocean. 00:13:09.680 --> 00:13:11.360 [speaking Italian] Lunch with fish. 00:13:12.360 --> 00:13:13.480 Damn! 00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:16.080 Beautiful, so wonderful. 00:13:16.160 --> 00:13:18.000 There's food for everyone, guys. 00:13:18.080 --> 00:13:19.840 There's a lot, there's a lot beneath here. 00:13:19.920 --> 00:13:23.480 But this one is beautiful, it's silver actually. 00:13:23.560 --> 00:13:24.560 There's more beneath. 00:13:24.640 --> 00:13:25.640 [James] Impressionante. 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:27.440 It's impressive, it's impressive. 00:13:27.520 --> 00:13:29.560 - Yes impressive, it's still alive. - There it is. 00:13:29.640 --> 00:13:32.120 Beautiful, beautiful. 00:13:32.200 --> 00:13:34.600 Gold and silver, beautiful. 00:13:37.880 --> 00:13:39.040 [James] Grazie. 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:40.400 Bravo, bravo. 00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:44.720 [James] Apparently, one pesky pesce 00:13:44.800 --> 00:13:46.560 has sparked quite the celebration. 00:13:49.840 --> 00:13:52.040 [James] Oh, here comes our fish. 00:13:52.120 --> 00:13:53.000 Here's the fish. 00:13:53.120 --> 00:13:54.960 - [Claudia] Oh... - [applause] 00:13:58.800 --> 00:14:00.840 Everybody has to have a small piece. 00:14:00.920 --> 00:14:04.840 [speaking Italian] When you have caught it yourself and you eat it... 00:14:04.920 --> 00:14:06.320 it is beautiful. 00:14:07.760 --> 00:14:10.800 [James] I don't know if it's all this fresh air, 00:14:10.880 --> 00:14:13.520 or that busker on the mandolin in the background, 00:14:13.600 --> 00:14:18.520 but this certainly feels like la dolce vita to me. 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:23.880 I am absolutely amazed at how my very piccolo pesce 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:26.160 has turned into this enormous feast. 00:14:26.240 --> 00:14:28.400 Something very biblical about that, 00:14:28.480 --> 00:14:30.560 and look at all these new friends I've made. 00:14:30.640 --> 00:14:32.920 I am truly a fisher of men. 00:14:33.960 --> 00:14:38.160 With our bellies pleasantly full, it's time to depart. 00:14:38.240 --> 00:14:39.880 Or so I thought. 00:14:39.960 --> 00:14:42.320 - Oh, is this the pasta course? - [Claudia] Yes. 00:14:45.280 --> 00:14:48.720 There might be a massive steak after this for all I know. 00:14:48.800 --> 00:14:52.080 Actually, there was no massive steak. 00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:55.640 There was, however, some ham. 00:15:01.400 --> 00:15:03.000 Forgot the words. 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:09.600 [James] Actually, I need to have a bit of a word with you 00:15:09.640 --> 00:15:12.840 about the threat of Italian lunch. 00:15:12.880 --> 00:15:15.680 [Claudia] In Sicily, we have the obsession of food. 00:15:15.720 --> 00:15:19.280 We love to share with friends and-and to show them 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:22.120 our generosity and our hospitality. 00:15:22.200 --> 00:15:24.080 So is... if that happens every day, 00:15:24.160 --> 00:15:27.000 we'll be the size of Fiat Pandas, each one of us. 00:15:32.760 --> 00:15:35.840 So far, that's religion, culture, sport, 00:15:35.920 --> 00:15:39.600 cookery and a warning about incipient obesity. 00:15:42.560 --> 00:15:44.960 The next thing to try, you've probably already guessed, 00:15:45.040 --> 00:15:47.840 is estate agency. 00:15:47.920 --> 00:15:49.800 Hello, viewers. Fancy finding you up here, 00:15:49.880 --> 00:15:52.400 right at the top of the Castello Manfredonico, 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:54.480 in the Comune di Mussomeli, 00:15:54.520 --> 00:15:57.440 once one of the wealthiest regions of Sicily. 00:15:57.520 --> 00:15:59.520 I'd like to read to you from the handy 00:15:59.560 --> 00:16:01.920 English information sheet that you get when you arrive. 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:04.240 It's rather lovely, actually. 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:07.400 "The architectural completeness melts with the rock. 00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:12.200 Thus the work of man blooms spontaneously." 00:16:12.280 --> 00:16:14.080 Good, isn't it? 00:16:14.200 --> 00:16:17.440 I might try blooming a bit more spontaneously myself. 00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:19.960 The castle today, as you can probably see, 00:16:20.080 --> 00:16:23.800 is a little bit on the tatty side. 00:16:23.880 --> 00:16:25.440 Wait till you see the rest of the town. 00:16:32.880 --> 00:16:36.960 A thriving and wealthy town in the 16th century, 00:16:37.040 --> 00:16:38.640 Mussomeli is now home 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:40.280 to only a few thousand people, 00:16:40.360 --> 00:16:42.040 none of whom you can see here. 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:47.080 Depopulation reached crisis point in the '80s 00:16:47.160 --> 00:16:50.160 when locals were even prepared to move to Surrey in England. 00:16:50.240 --> 00:16:53.480 So the mayor came up with a plan. 00:17:01.600 --> 00:17:03.200 This is Cinzia. 00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:06.440 She is the local estate agent for the historic town center, 00:17:06.560 --> 00:17:09.120 and she's going to show me this house, 00:17:09.160 --> 00:17:11.840 which is currently on the market 00:17:11.960 --> 00:17:14.360 for one euro. 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:16.760 - One euro. - [Claudia] One euro. 00:17:23.080 --> 00:17:25.000 [James] Wow, look at that. 00:17:25.040 --> 00:17:26.280 Now, if I was 00:17:26.360 --> 00:17:28.320 a British estate agent, I would say 00:17:28.440 --> 00:17:31.080 that this is an ideal first-time property 00:17:31.160 --> 00:17:33.560 with numerous period features 00:17:33.600 --> 00:17:35.960 in need of sympathetic renovation, 00:17:36.040 --> 00:17:37.560 i.e. a bit of a craphole. 00:17:37.600 --> 00:17:39.160 But it is a complete house. 00:17:39.240 --> 00:17:41.200 It has a roof. It has services. 00:17:41.280 --> 00:17:43.480 They're not turned on, so there's no water or electricity, 00:17:43.560 --> 00:17:44.560 which is why we're using the torches, 00:17:44.600 --> 00:17:45.840 but they're all here. 00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:48.280 Actually, there's a really spooky 00:17:48.320 --> 00:17:50.280 sort of medieval bit back here. Look at this. 00:17:50.320 --> 00:17:51.840 [Sean] It's good 'cause you're shining the torch 00:17:51.920 --> 00:17:53.520 like it's Blair Witch, mate. 00:17:53.600 --> 00:17:56.400 - What do you mean? - [Sean laughs] 00:17:59.000 --> 00:18:00.840 Oh, that's quite light. 00:18:00.880 --> 00:18:02.760 Some of the wiring looks a bit dodgy, 00:18:02.840 --> 00:18:06.400 but it's no worse than the Alfa Romeo 155, to be honest. 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:09.680 This is very nice. 00:18:09.720 --> 00:18:12.080 I mean, whichever way you look at it, it's a lot for a euro. 00:18:12.120 --> 00:18:15.160 Sounds like an offer I can't refuse. 00:18:15.200 --> 00:18:20.600 [Cinzia speaking Italian] Maybe because one euro sounds very attractive. 00:18:20.680 --> 00:18:21.960 It's the price of a coffee. 00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:24.040 What's the catch? 00:18:24.160 --> 00:18:25.400 Cinzia explains 00:18:25.440 --> 00:18:28.000 that although the house costs one euro, 00:18:28.040 --> 00:18:29.440 the new owner must restore the outside 00:18:29.600 --> 00:18:32.120 to an agreed standard within three years 00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:34.360 or face a five-grand penalty. 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:36.080 But what's in it for her? 00:18:36.160 --> 00:18:37.560 It occurs to me 00:18:37.600 --> 00:18:38.720 that the estate agent's commission 00:18:38.800 --> 00:18:40.600 on one euro is pretty feeble. 00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:44.720 [chuckles] That's about .01 of a euro. 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:49.080 How do you... How can you possibly make a living? 00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:51.080 Sorry. Scusi. But if we can... 00:18:51.160 --> 00:18:52.760 'Cause we've been hearing this. The-the... 00:18:52.840 --> 00:18:56.000 Some of these keys are from about 1850. 00:18:56.080 --> 00:18:57.840 [Claudia] It costs more than the house. 00:18:57.960 --> 00:18:59.520 [James] This is your property empire. 00:18:59.600 --> 00:19:02.600 Could be worth as much as 30 euros. 00:19:05.200 --> 00:19:12.720 [conversing in Italian] No, it's a fixed fee of 490 euros per house. 00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:15.320 Now, Dan, you were talking about how much you would like to buy 00:19:15.400 --> 00:19:17.200 - a house around here. You'd like... - Well, for one euro, 00:19:17.320 --> 00:19:18.920 - it'd be stupid not to. - Yeah, but... 00:19:18.960 --> 00:19:20.600 - It can't just be one euro. - No. 00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:22.760 There is a little bit more involved, but here's the euro, 00:19:22.840 --> 00:19:25.400 - in any case. - Who do I give it to? 00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:27.800 - Cinzia? - Cinzia will take your euro. 00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:29.400 I'll take this house. 00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:31.200 You have actually bought it, I'm afraid. 00:19:31.200 --> 00:19:32.840 - [all laugh] - Now it's done. It's done. 00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:34.040 Yeah. 00:19:34.120 --> 00:19:36.720 [James] You have to pay 490 euros 00:19:36.840 --> 00:19:37.840 - commission, I'm afraid... - [Dan] Okay. 00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:39.240 ...to Cinzia, and you owe me a euro. 00:19:40.920 --> 00:19:42.720 - But you do have a house in Italy. - [Dan] I'll give you... 00:19:44.440 --> 00:19:45.520 Doppio espresso? 00:19:45.600 --> 00:19:47.560 It's that or a semidetached bungalow. 00:19:49.720 --> 00:19:52.440 While Dan busied himself arranging 00:19:52.520 --> 00:19:54.760 a buy-to-let mortgage to pay me back my euro, 00:19:54.840 --> 00:19:57.240 I went for a contemplative spin. 00:19:57.320 --> 00:19:59.760 And the funny thing about that town is 00:19:59.840 --> 00:20:01.080 it is the one-euro town. 00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:02.600 So, after we'd looked at the houses, 00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:05.160 we went off, and we had a quick slice of pizza. 00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:07.040 And a big slice of pizza was a euro, 00:20:07.080 --> 00:20:09.160 and an espresso was a euro. 00:20:09.240 --> 00:20:11.840 Everything in the town is a euro. 00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:15.280 So it's either a very, very cheap house 00:20:15.320 --> 00:20:19.520 or, in reality, the euro was about £1.2 million. 00:20:20.600 --> 00:20:22.480 Now, viewers, 00:20:22.600 --> 00:20:24.320 we're 20 minutes into this episode, 00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:27.320 - and I haven't really embarrassed myself yet. - [lively drumming] 00:20:28.680 --> 00:20:31.480 This looks like an opportunity. 00:20:31.560 --> 00:20:36.200 This is Ciwara in the historical center of Palermo, 00:20:36.280 --> 00:20:38.200 and, as you might have already guessed, 00:20:38.320 --> 00:20:41.160 it's known for its live Afrobeats scene. 00:20:42.440 --> 00:20:44.600 I like the sound of this place already. 00:20:46.960 --> 00:20:48.840 Hang on. 00:20:48.880 --> 00:20:51.320 - Here, there? - [horn honks] 00:20:53.760 --> 00:20:55.800 Yeah, the driving is a little bit random, 00:20:55.920 --> 00:20:57.760 but think about our preconceptions of Sicily. 00:20:57.800 --> 00:21:00.520 They're all based on things like films 00:21:00.600 --> 00:21:02.040 about the origins of the Mafia 00:21:02.080 --> 00:21:03.320 and so on, but it's not. It's this. 00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:05.320 It's perfectly modern and multiculti. 00:21:05.400 --> 00:21:08.800 And it has una birra, tre birra. 00:21:08.840 --> 00:21:11.920 And somewhere over there is Claudia. I think. 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:14.840 If I go and meet her, find her, we can have... 00:21:14.920 --> 00:21:18.920 spend the rest of the evening, hours, doing this. 00:21:22.520 --> 00:21:24.360 Do you know where she is? 00:21:27.680 --> 00:21:29.800 - Ready? Salute. - Salute. 00:21:30.840 --> 00:21:33.080 [James] But please don't worry that the old English bloke 00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:36.280 with the hips from Thunderbirds is going to join in the dancing. 00:21:36.360 --> 00:21:37.800 Excellent. 00:21:37.840 --> 00:21:40.080 These guys are amazing. 00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:44.680 [James] Mind you, the company's good, 00:21:44.760 --> 00:21:47.680 and the local Sicilian beer is excellent. 00:21:47.760 --> 00:21:49.520 There's only one way 00:21:49.600 --> 00:21:52.080 I could ruin this perfect moment. 00:21:54.920 --> 00:21:56.400 Seeing where this scene was heading, 00:21:56.480 --> 00:22:00.360 director Tom rushed in some locals to act as a human shield. 00:22:02.120 --> 00:22:05.840 Hey, map fans, guess what? 00:22:05.920 --> 00:22:08.440 Yes, we're leaving the west of Sicily 00:22:08.520 --> 00:22:11.280 and heading east through the island's midriff 00:22:11.360 --> 00:22:13.480 to Sicily's second largest city, 00:22:13.560 --> 00:22:16.400 where I'm going to talk complete bollocks. 00:22:17.600 --> 00:22:19.000 Welcome to Catania, 00:22:19.080 --> 00:22:21.560 where you join me in Piazza Duomo 00:22:21.600 --> 00:22:23.240 and where we are going to address 00:22:23.280 --> 00:22:25.800 the elephant in the square, u Liotru. 00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:27.360 Now, he's very old. 00:22:27.440 --> 00:22:29.960 He is believed to have come from ancient Rome, 00:22:30.040 --> 00:22:31.840 and he is, of course, the symbol of the city. 00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:33.840 He's in shop signs. 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:36.000 The logos of sports club shields. You can buy 00:22:36.080 --> 00:22:37.720 a little lucky trinket of u Liotru 00:22:37.800 --> 00:22:40.560 from the street sellers who are wandering around here. 00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:41.720 But now we arrive at some confusion, 00:22:41.800 --> 00:22:44.120 because I believed, talking to the locals, 00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:47.280 that somehow, his * had been removed 00:22:47.360 --> 00:22:48.680 out of modesty, 00:22:48.760 --> 00:22:50.280 but this turns out probably not to be true, 00:22:50.360 --> 00:22:52.400 because elsewhere in the town, 00:22:52.480 --> 00:22:55.680 there is a statue of a horse whose * were removed 00:22:55.760 --> 00:22:58.120 because they offended Saint Agatha, 00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:00.440 the patron saint of Sicily. She's up there 00:23:00.520 --> 00:23:03.760 in the duomo, on the day of her feast. 00:23:03.840 --> 00:23:07.240 And then later, his... his boys were put back on again. 00:23:07.280 --> 00:23:09.520 But that does at least allow me to talk about Saint Agatha, 00:23:09.640 --> 00:23:12.600 who was martyred in the middle of the third century. 00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:14.880 She was stretched on the rack, torn apart with hooks, 00:23:14.920 --> 00:23:17.440 and her breasts were removed with pincers. 00:23:17.520 --> 00:23:19.960 But as a result of that, the locals 00:23:20.040 --> 00:23:23.080 remember her with these faintly ridiculous 00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:26.080 breast-inspired sticky buns. 00:23:26.200 --> 00:23:28.200 So, to recap, 00:23:28.240 --> 00:23:30.240 the elephant still has his *. 00:23:30.320 --> 00:23:33.720 The horse lost his * but got them back again later. 00:23:33.800 --> 00:23:35.560 Saint Agatha is long dead, 00:23:35.640 --> 00:23:38.600 but at least we get a funny * cake to celebrate her. 00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:39.920 And I hope that's all clear, 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:41.800 because now I'm going to go and buy a hat. 00:23:42.800 --> 00:23:44.280 I'm really sorry. I've just learned 00:23:44.360 --> 00:23:45.680 from someone over in the café 00:23:45.760 --> 00:23:48.080 that apparently the horse's plum sack wasn't removed. 00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:49.560 It was merely covered up 00:23:49.640 --> 00:23:51.480 for fear of offending Saint Agatha 00:23:51.560 --> 00:23:53.080 during her feast day. 00:23:53.160 --> 00:23:55.440 Everything else I said there is broadly correct. 00:23:57.080 --> 00:24:00.160 Anyway, time to make a Saint Agatha bun of myself 00:24:00.200 --> 00:24:01.600 in the next scene. 00:24:05.360 --> 00:24:07.840 Now, obviously, another Italian cliché 00:24:07.960 --> 00:24:09.680 is that they all dress impeccably. 00:24:09.800 --> 00:24:11.240 So, 00:24:11.280 --> 00:24:15.120 in a bid to shake off my scruffy yet uptight Englishness 00:24:15.160 --> 00:24:19.120 and impress Claudia, I'm going to attempt fashion. 00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:20.480 Now, in Italy, 00:24:20.520 --> 00:24:24.000 the word for a hat in general is a cappello, 00:24:24.120 --> 00:24:26.960 but in Sicily, they have a specific type of hat, 00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:31.200 a-a flat cap which is called... wait for it... a coppola. 00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:33.400 It's the traditional hat of Sicily, supposedly, 00:24:33.480 --> 00:24:35.120 so let's go in and see 00:24:35.200 --> 00:24:38.360 if we can find one big enough for my simply gigantic head. 00:24:44.600 --> 00:24:48.680 - Buon giorno. Uh, una coppola, per favore. - Sì. 00:24:48.760 --> 00:24:53.160 Ma io uno molto grande testa. 00:24:53.240 --> 00:24:55.000 [clerk] Okay, a very big head. So big brains. Good. 00:24:55.080 --> 00:24:56.680 - [James] E-Exactly, yes. - [laughter] 00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:01.400 - Hey. - Ah. 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:06.280 - Va bene? - [clerk] Your eyes is perfect. 00:25:06.360 --> 00:25:09.000 - [James] Molto gentile. Grazie. - [laughs] 00:25:09.040 --> 00:25:10.440 If you get the angle right... 00:25:10.560 --> 00:25:12.040 I mean, you don't want to just wear it like that. 00:25:12.120 --> 00:25:15.520 That just knocks 50 off your IQ immediately, doesn't it? 00:25:15.640 --> 00:25:17.680 It's fashionable. [laughs] 00:25:17.760 --> 00:25:21.080 - Grazie. I will take it. - [clerk] We got a winner. 00:25:23.520 --> 00:25:25.560 [James] Armed with my coppola 00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:27.720 and my magical disappearing bag... 00:25:27.760 --> 00:25:31.160 it's time to see what Claudia thinks. 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:39.880 - [laughs] - Buona sera. 00:25:43.280 --> 00:25:45.240 Buona sera. 00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:48.600 [laughs] Um... 00:25:48.680 --> 00:25:51.240 - Mm. Così così. - You meant... No. 00:25:51.320 --> 00:25:53.520 "Così così." What's "così così"? 00:25:53.600 --> 00:25:56.600 Così così. So and so. 00:25:56.680 --> 00:25:59.240 So-so. It's perfect with the color of your eyes. 00:25:59.320 --> 00:26:00.920 - But... - But? 00:26:01.000 --> 00:26:03.000 That's okay. It's fine. If you don't like it, 00:26:03.080 --> 00:26:04.960 - you don't like it. That's... Now I know. - [laughs] 00:26:06.320 --> 00:26:10.400 Wow, she must really hate my eyes. 00:26:12.800 --> 00:26:15.000 I was particularly disappointed that Claudia, 00:26:15.040 --> 00:26:16.840 of whom I've grown extremely fond, 00:26:16.880 --> 00:26:21.200 um, was so dismissive of my coppola. 00:26:21.240 --> 00:26:23.280 But I sort of get where she's coming from. 00:26:23.360 --> 00:26:25.040 This is a problem I've-I've alluded to 00:26:25.080 --> 00:26:26.880 many times in the past. Expensive clothes, 00:26:26.920 --> 00:26:28.680 cheap clothes, secondhand clothes... 00:26:28.720 --> 00:26:30.560 it doesn't really make any difference with me. 00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:33.720 That, in the window of a shop, 00:26:33.800 --> 00:26:36.120 looks quite stylish. 00:26:36.160 --> 00:26:39.440 It's interesting. It's an interesting pattern. 00:26:39.560 --> 00:26:42.200 It would probably look good on you. Lots of other people. 00:26:42.280 --> 00:26:44.360 Many members of our crew, men and women. 00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:46.880 You put it on my head... 00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:50.720 ...and it looks crap. 00:26:54.600 --> 00:26:57.080 After that crushing disappointment, 00:26:57.160 --> 00:26:59.040 it's time to lift my spirits. 00:26:59.120 --> 00:27:01.720 I'm now heading for a Sicilian landmark 00:27:01.800 --> 00:27:03.640 that I should be able to find without the satnav 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:05.800 or even a paper map. 00:27:05.880 --> 00:27:08.360 I should be able to find it by looking out of the window. 00:27:08.440 --> 00:27:09.760 It's quite big. 00:27:09.840 --> 00:27:11.200 Sort of triangular in shape 00:27:11.280 --> 00:27:12.720 but with a bit missing from the top. 00:27:17.800 --> 00:27:20.040 I need my Canadian jacket for this. 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:22.400 And, ironically, a hat. 00:27:22.440 --> 00:27:23.640 Buon giorno. Today, 00:27:23.720 --> 00:27:26.640 we are three-quarters of the way up Mount Etna, 00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:28.880 Europe's most active volcano. 00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:30.240 And that might sound pretty daring, 00:27:30.280 --> 00:27:32.280 but actually, if you look over here... 00:27:32.360 --> 00:27:35.560 Look. Snack bars, competing 00:27:35.680 --> 00:27:39.200 excursions to the summit. It is a fantastic mountain. 00:27:39.320 --> 00:27:42.160 It was the-the forge of the gods. It looms very large 00:27:42.200 --> 00:27:44.160 in the conscience of the people of Sicily, 00:27:44.200 --> 00:27:45.960 especially in Catania and Messina, 00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:49.200 because every now and then... February 2021, for example... 00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:51.680 it dumps a huge pile of volcanic ash 00:27:51.800 --> 00:27:53.440 all over streets and rooftops and cars. 00:27:53.520 --> 00:27:55.760 And last time, it cost half a million euros 00:27:55.840 --> 00:27:57.240 to sweep it up. 00:27:57.320 --> 00:28:00.480 Anyway, we're going to go with some scientists 00:28:00.560 --> 00:28:02.840 all the way, or almost all the way 00:28:02.920 --> 00:28:04.120 to the summit and the crater. 00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:06.520 And it's perfectly safe. 00:28:06.600 --> 00:28:09.240 Unless it blows up. 00:28:18.360 --> 00:28:20.560 Etna has been erupting on and off 00:28:20.680 --> 00:28:22.960 since 475 BCE. 00:28:24.920 --> 00:28:26.760 Well, presumably since before then, 00:28:26.800 --> 00:28:29.240 but no one bothered to write it down. 00:28:31.800 --> 00:28:35.000 So, this is Giuseppe, who's one of our volcanologists. 00:28:36.040 --> 00:28:39.120 And what happens if it goes off? 00:28:39.240 --> 00:28:42.720 Recently, it's making an eruption every month, 00:28:42.760 --> 00:28:44.920 so in principle, we are close. 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:46.320 [James] Okay, we're due one, 00:28:46.360 --> 00:28:48.000 chaps. I should have, uh, explained, actually, 00:28:48.120 --> 00:28:50.440 that the crew is in the back of the car for obvious reasons. 00:28:50.560 --> 00:28:52.160 They're being remarkably quiet. 00:28:52.200 --> 00:28:54.520 - Yeah. - Um, usually when they're in the car together, 00:28:54.560 --> 00:28:58.600 it's just an absolute solid wall of moaning. 00:29:01.320 --> 00:29:04.240 I have to say it is looking a bit smoky, though. 00:29:06.320 --> 00:29:08.280 So, the molten bit of the earth 00:29:08.360 --> 00:29:09.840 is a part of the big bang 00:29:09.920 --> 00:29:13.480 - that's still going on, in effect. Isn't it? - Yeah. Yeah. 00:29:13.560 --> 00:29:16.200 [James] And then, as we continue our ascent 00:29:16.280 --> 00:29:19.400 into what appears to be The Land That Time Forgot, 00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:22.120 the crew helpfully pipes up. 00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:24.920 Can you still see the road up front? 00:29:26.960 --> 00:29:28.240 [James] I can see 00:29:28.320 --> 00:29:29.920 that it's a very long way down on the right, 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:31.760 so I would advise 00:29:31.840 --> 00:29:33.080 not looking that way. 00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:34.760 In fact, I wish I hadn't. 00:29:36.520 --> 00:29:38.440 Well, we're still going up. 00:29:38.520 --> 00:29:40.200 We still can't see anything. 00:29:42.280 --> 00:29:45.600 Finally, we arrive at the main crater... 00:29:51.040 --> 00:29:53.840 ...where it's actually not smoke at all. 00:29:53.920 --> 00:29:55.640 Just freezing fog. 00:29:57.120 --> 00:29:59.080 Even though I can't feel my face, 00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:01.120 I summon my professionalism. 00:30:01.160 --> 00:30:02.600 So, finally, 00:30:02.680 --> 00:30:05.400 here we are, viewers, within a few dozen meters 00:30:05.480 --> 00:30:09.400 of the gaping main crater of Etna. 00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:12.880 Silent, sleeping, but we know, 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:14.680 despite the research 00:30:14.760 --> 00:30:16.320 and the reassurances of the scientists, 00:30:16.400 --> 00:30:17.640 that at any moment, 00:30:17.720 --> 00:30:20.560 that could explode with an enormous crash, 00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:23.880 causing the mayor of Catania to stop at whatever he's doing 00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:25.120 and turn around and say, 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:27.560 as the mayor of Pompeii must have done once, 00:30:27.640 --> 00:30:29.320 "What the bloody hell was that?" 00:30:29.400 --> 00:30:33.280 Moments before being consumed by the flow of lava, 00:30:33.360 --> 00:30:35.560 the molten core of the earth 00:30:35.640 --> 00:30:38.600 wreaking its revenge on civilization 00:30:38.680 --> 00:30:41.120 for its arrogance. Just remember that. 00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:43.240 Lunch? 00:30:48.680 --> 00:30:50.080 Actually, I need to explain this 00:30:50.200 --> 00:30:52.000 to the viewers so that they don't think 00:30:52.080 --> 00:30:54.480 we're complete idiots, but our original plan 00:30:54.560 --> 00:30:55.920 was that we'd come up here, and we'd be able to do 00:30:56.040 --> 00:30:57.800 a few simple experiments, 00:30:57.880 --> 00:31:00.240 and we'd be able to fly a drone over the crater 00:31:00.320 --> 00:31:02.960 and actually look down into the volcano, 00:31:03.080 --> 00:31:04.920 which would have been quite remarkable. 00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:07.680 Here is some library footage. 00:31:16.080 --> 00:31:19.040 As a consolation prize for seeing the square root 00:31:19.120 --> 00:31:21.280 of bugger all, Giuseppe gives me 00:31:21.360 --> 00:31:23.560 a whistle-stop tour of the office. 00:31:24.600 --> 00:31:26.880 Is this some sort of volcano DEFCON? 00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:28.520 In some sense. 00:31:30.480 --> 00:31:32.360 [James] Turns out that as well as being a volcanologist, 00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:35.600 Giuseppe's also a keen baker. 00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:39.200 When a cake is, uh, is cooking, inflate. 00:31:39.280 --> 00:31:41.200 - [James] Yeah. - [Giuseppe] So, when the magma is coming up, 00:31:41.280 --> 00:31:43.800 the summit of the volcano inflate. 00:31:43.880 --> 00:31:45.320 When the eruption start, 00:31:45.400 --> 00:31:47.280 - start to deflate. - Yes. 00:31:47.360 --> 00:31:48.600 Like a cake. 00:31:49.640 --> 00:31:51.400 [James] The team monitor 00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:55.360 how well Etna is baking with 150 sensors 00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:57.800 based in and around the crater. 00:31:57.880 --> 00:31:59.800 Do you ever wake up at night thinking, "Shit, 00:31:59.880 --> 00:32:01.840 there's a massive volcano just down the road"? 00:32:01.880 --> 00:32:04.280 [Giuseppe] Italy is a leader in the world 00:32:04.320 --> 00:32:07.120 - for monitoring active volcanoes. - [James] Okay. 00:32:07.200 --> 00:32:09.760 But because, anyway, you can sit 00:32:09.840 --> 00:32:13.560 en-enjoying a glass of wine 00:32:13.600 --> 00:32:16.400 - and watching eruptions in a sweet life. - Exactly. 00:32:16.480 --> 00:32:18.600 - La dolce vita. [laughs] - Glass of wine, watching the eruptions. 00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:20.800 So, there's our second Italian rule. We've arrived at one. 00:32:20.880 --> 00:32:23.200 No cappuccino after 11:00 a.m. 00:32:23.280 --> 00:32:26.520 Live near a volcano and just have a glass of wine. 00:32:26.600 --> 00:32:28.760 - [Giuseppe] Yes. - Thank you. That's excellent advice. 00:32:29.800 --> 00:32:31.240 Ironically, 00:32:31.320 --> 00:32:33.080 Etna blew off a week later, 00:32:33.160 --> 00:32:36.040 and Giuseppe has been molto schifoso ever since. 00:32:37.520 --> 00:32:40.000 The next day, with Claudia 00:32:40.120 --> 00:32:43.160 still working her way through the final 60 crates, 00:32:43.200 --> 00:32:46.280 I'm winding "O sole mio" to the small hilltop village 00:32:46.400 --> 00:32:48.120 of Castelmola. 00:32:50.680 --> 00:32:53.280 Now, Italy is widely known for its glittering contributions 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:55.160 to the world of music, 00:32:55.280 --> 00:32:57.760 from Monteverdi and Pavarotti 00:32:57.840 --> 00:33:00.280 to Italo disco legend, Gazebo. 00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:05.360 But Sicily has its own mercifully unique contribution. 00:33:06.600 --> 00:33:08.680 Now, most English people would associate the bagpipe 00:33:08.800 --> 00:33:10.920 with Scottish expansionism into places 00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:12.880 like Leicester Square, but actually the history 00:33:12.960 --> 00:33:15.200 of the instrument is a lot more complicated than that. 00:33:15.320 --> 00:33:17.280 It may have been known in antiquity 00:33:17.360 --> 00:33:18.560 to the ancient Greeks. 00:33:18.640 --> 00:33:20.000 The bagpipes in Europe 00:33:20.080 --> 00:33:22.320 almost certainly made their way here 00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:24.280 via Spain for obvious reasons 00:33:24.360 --> 00:33:26.520 from the Arab world, and in the Middle Ages, 00:33:26.600 --> 00:33:29.560 the bagpipe was simply one of many popular folk instruments 00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:32.200 that have since fallen into disuse, like the racket, 00:33:32.280 --> 00:33:35.040 the crumhorn, the rebeck, the hurdy gurdy, 00:33:35.120 --> 00:33:37.480 the portative organ. 00:33:37.520 --> 00:33:40.800 Here in Sicily, they have a particular strain 00:33:40.880 --> 00:33:43.480 of bagpipe called the ciaramedda. 00:33:43.560 --> 00:33:45.360 And I'm going to meet a man called Pippo, 00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:48.080 who makes them and I'm afraid... 00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:50.680 plays them. 00:33:50.760 --> 00:33:53.280 The ciaramedda, with its bag 00:33:53.360 --> 00:33:54.960 made from sheep or goatskin, 00:33:55.040 --> 00:33:58.560 was traditionally used by farmers to cheer up 00:33:58.600 --> 00:34:01.600 the locals as they herded their livestock around. 00:34:05.280 --> 00:34:07.720 "Zambogna" is the general word for "bagpipe." 00:34:07.800 --> 00:34:09.560 Now that's interesting. 00:34:09.680 --> 00:34:12.600 Um, how the hell do you play that without four hands? 00:34:12.680 --> 00:34:14.800 Luckily for everyone in the room, 00:34:14.880 --> 00:34:16.800 we were about to find out. 00:34:29.160 --> 00:34:32.840 Tragically, the ciaramedda almost died out completely. 00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:35.360 But thankfully, Pippo has helped keep the instrument alive 00:34:35.440 --> 00:34:37.800 by making them for the last 00:34:37.880 --> 00:34:39.400 60 years. 00:34:43.400 --> 00:34:45.040 Bravissimo, signor. 00:34:45.080 --> 00:34:47.400 - Fantastico. Very, very... - [applause] 00:34:47.480 --> 00:34:49.560 I think I like the ciaramedda. 00:34:49.720 --> 00:34:50.920 Um, I was trying to work out the fingering 00:34:50.960 --> 00:34:52.360 as you were doing that, so... 00:34:52.440 --> 00:34:55.000 [vocalizing] ...and that's the leading note there? 00:34:55.160 --> 00:34:56.720 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah? 00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:59.000 And then, this side, God knows what you were doing there. 00:34:59.080 --> 00:35:01.720 That is virtually impossible 'cause you need two brains. 00:35:01.800 --> 00:35:03.000 One to play the recorder 00:35:03.040 --> 00:35:04.640 and another one to play the recorder. 00:35:04.760 --> 00:35:07.440 Why am I even agreeing to this? Can I try one with a bag? 00:35:07.520 --> 00:35:10.880 Brace yourselves for the sound of me fingering 00:35:11.000 --> 00:35:13.520 some beautifully turned apricot wood 00:35:13.600 --> 00:35:15.800 and blowing through an ex-goat. 00:35:30.400 --> 00:35:32.360 That was very briefly Ivor Cutler's 00:35:32.440 --> 00:35:34.160 "Oh, you, lemon flower, the leaf is sweet, 00:35:34.280 --> 00:35:36.560 but the fruit is sour." Did anybody get that? 00:35:36.640 --> 00:35:38.640 [all] No. 00:35:38.680 --> 00:35:40.080 The slightly alarming thing about that 00:35:40.160 --> 00:35:42.000 was as the bag deflated, 00:35:42.080 --> 00:35:44.120 it smelled faintly of stale vino rosso. 00:35:44.160 --> 00:35:46.280 But that might have been something to do with last night. 00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:49.800 So, to play the ciaramedda, 00:35:49.880 --> 00:35:53.320 you need four hands, the lungs of a horse, 00:35:53.400 --> 00:35:56.440 and to have not drunk a vineyard dry the day before. 00:35:56.520 --> 00:35:59.480 Anyway, token toe-curling bit 00:35:59.560 --> 00:36:03.000 ticked off, now I can enjoy Pippo on his lathe 00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:05.160 in his exquisite workshop. 00:36:05.200 --> 00:36:07.200 Bella. 00:36:13.800 --> 00:36:15.520 While watching a craftsman 00:36:15.640 --> 00:36:19.480 create something from nothing is my cup of chino... 00:36:19.560 --> 00:36:23.160 The smell of that wood being cut off is tremendous. 00:36:23.280 --> 00:36:27.480 ...director Tom has other ideas... 00:36:27.560 --> 00:36:28.720 - [Tom] James? - Yes. 00:36:28.840 --> 00:36:30.160 [Tom] I know you love the lathe and everything, 00:36:30.200 --> 00:36:33.120 but you've got a performance in about half an hour. 00:36:33.160 --> 00:36:35.200 What, my performance? You mean their performance? 00:36:35.320 --> 00:36:38.160 No, you're playing, half an hour, 12:00 on the square. 00:36:38.200 --> 00:36:39.800 Well, I can't possibly play the bagpipes. 00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:41.040 [Tom] Yes you can, you'll be fine. 00:36:41.120 --> 00:36:42.280 Well, I can't, I haven't got big enough lungs, 00:36:42.360 --> 00:36:43.920 and I don't know the fingering. 00:36:47.520 --> 00:36:50.160 For once, I decided to stand firm 00:36:50.240 --> 00:36:52.160 and not be made to look foolish 00:36:52.160 --> 00:36:54.400 in the name of light entertainment. 00:36:57.680 --> 00:36:59.640 I was overruled. 00:36:59.720 --> 00:37:01.560 Robert Fripp, of King Crimson fame, 00:37:01.640 --> 00:37:04.960 once said, "Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence." 00:37:05.080 --> 00:37:07.920 Although he might want to revise that in a couple of minutes. 00:37:07.960 --> 00:37:10.520 And, yes, for the avoidance of doubt, 00:37:10.600 --> 00:37:13.840 I hate Tom, all right? 00:37:29.280 --> 00:37:32.200 With the whole band playing together, it's actually quite 00:37:32.280 --> 00:37:34.680 a lovely sound. 00:37:35.680 --> 00:37:37.920 So I joined in. 00:37:45.520 --> 00:37:48.480 I'm not sure the crowd are into this. 00:37:50.360 --> 00:37:53.440 I'm not sure my bandmates are, either. 00:37:57.840 --> 00:37:59.720 [James] Bravissimo, bravissimo. 00:37:59.800 --> 00:38:02.520 [James] Bravissimo. Grazie, signore. 00:38:02.600 --> 00:38:04.800 - Grazie, grazie. - [applause] 00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.480 - So, Pippo? - Yeah? 00:38:06.560 --> 00:38:08.880 How am I at ciaramedda? 00:38:14.360 --> 00:38:16.160 "This is the best ciaramedda playing 00:38:16.280 --> 00:38:18.000 I have ever heard in the whole of Sicily." 00:38:18.120 --> 00:38:20.960 - [laughter] - I translate. 00:38:23.560 --> 00:38:25.440 He says bravo to me for my efforts. 00:38:25.560 --> 00:38:27.760 And I will be leader of the band within the next six months. 00:38:30.200 --> 00:38:32.840 "I feel sick listening to you play the ciaramedda." 00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:36.320 - [speaks Italian] - Goodbye and don't ever come back. 00:38:36.400 --> 00:38:38.840 - [laughs] Okay. - Cut. 00:38:38.920 --> 00:38:40.920 ♪ ♪ 00:38:44.720 --> 00:38:46.360 There's a bit of a pattern developing 00:38:46.440 --> 00:38:48.040 to this show which is that I 00:38:48.120 --> 00:38:50.600 go and attempt to do something, and then afterwards you join me 00:38:50.680 --> 00:38:52.240 in the car, we're alone, and I apologize 00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:53.640 for having attempted to do it. 00:38:53.720 --> 00:38:56.080 I did love Pippo's workshop. 00:38:56.160 --> 00:38:57.720 The bits of film we made with me 00:38:57.800 --> 00:38:59.400 talking to Pippo and Pippo demonstrating 00:38:59.480 --> 00:39:01.280 his lathe and his tools, 00:39:01.280 --> 00:39:03.880 that's all gonna go in the bit in the edit and Tom the director 00:39:03.960 --> 00:39:06.720 will put some cheap library music over some slow motion 00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:10.040 shots of sawdust flying about, that's it. 00:39:10.080 --> 00:39:12.960 In fact, it's already happened, hasn't it? 00:39:14.240 --> 00:39:15.680 I should probably call a truce 00:39:15.720 --> 00:39:17.960 on the ongoing battle with Tom and the producers, 00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:20.880 or they'll make me do something else ridiculous, like 00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:23.600 traditional Sicilian child throwing, 00:39:23.720 --> 00:39:25.840 or polo in canoes. 00:39:26.840 --> 00:39:28.920 Canoe polo is something I've never even heard of, 00:39:28.960 --> 00:39:31.000 to be honest, and as far as I can make out, 00:39:31.120 --> 00:39:34.440 it's like polo, but you play it in canoes. 00:39:39.120 --> 00:39:41.960 The rules to canoe polo, as shown 00:39:42.040 --> 00:39:43.960 by the nail-biting European championships, 00:39:44.040 --> 00:39:46.040 are like basketball, 00:39:46.120 --> 00:39:48.200 only with greater risk of drowning. 00:39:48.280 --> 00:39:50.720 Each team of five passes the ball by chucking it. 00:39:50.800 --> 00:39:52.560 You can't hold onto the ball for more 00:39:52.640 --> 00:39:55.280 than five seconds, or you hear a sound 00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:56.920 - like this. - [whistle blows] 00:39:57.000 --> 00:39:58.880 Also there's no running, jumping, ducking, 00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:01.040 bombing or inflatables. 00:40:01.120 --> 00:40:04.440 The team with the most goals wins. 00:40:04.520 --> 00:40:07.680 So today, I'm joining the European champions 00:40:07.760 --> 00:40:11.200 - to give their opponents a sporting chance. - [whistle blows] 00:40:11.240 --> 00:40:12.880 - [James] And they are under 21. - [instructor] Yes. 00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:14.920 - [James] These are all women's teams? - [instructor] Yeah. 00:40:15.040 --> 00:40:17.120 Okay, you know I'm not a woman? 00:40:17.240 --> 00:40:19.560 No. [laughs] 00:40:19.680 --> 00:40:22.320 [James] Cue the obligatory costume change... 00:40:24.920 --> 00:40:27.360 ...into something designed for a teenage girl 00:40:27.480 --> 00:40:30.480 who doesn't have to worry about certain effects 00:40:30.520 --> 00:40:31.760 of the cold. 00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:35.520 I hope the helmet's big enough. 00:40:37.440 --> 00:40:39.360 Tom has arranged this to humiliate me, sì? 00:40:39.400 --> 00:40:40.800 - [Tom] Sì. - Sì, good. 00:40:42.520 --> 00:40:44.440 - [James] Scusi. - [instructor] No problem. 00:40:44.520 --> 00:40:46.440 So this is like a tutu? 00:40:46.520 --> 00:40:48.240 Yeah. [laughs] 00:40:48.320 --> 00:40:50.840 - Oh, sorry, can I? - Yes, of course. 00:40:51.880 --> 00:40:53.640 Right, this way. 00:40:53.720 --> 00:40:55.120 Which is the front? 00:40:55.200 --> 00:40:57.600 Right, let's get this over with. 00:40:57.680 --> 00:40:59.280 Now, because we're nearing the end of the film, 00:40:59.360 --> 00:41:01.200 and time is of the essence... 00:41:01.280 --> 00:41:03.200 - [whistle blows] - here are my best bits. 00:41:08.240 --> 00:41:10.440 It won't go straight, Tom. 00:41:10.520 --> 00:41:12.720 There's something wrong with it. 00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:14.120 Where is the ball? 00:41:14.200 --> 00:41:15.600 It's hard to believe from what you can see here, 00:41:15.720 --> 00:41:18.200 but there's actually a match going on around me. 00:41:18.320 --> 00:41:19.920 Bollocks. 00:41:19.960 --> 00:41:21.600 Not that it will come as any surprise, 00:41:21.640 --> 00:41:23.480 nor will anyone even care... 00:41:23.600 --> 00:41:26.000 Ah! Ah! I'm going backwards. 00:41:26.080 --> 00:41:28.000 ...but my team lost. 00:41:28.040 --> 00:41:29.640 Ah! [laughs] 00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:34.960 Honestly, it's so exhausting and they're all 21. 00:41:35.080 --> 00:41:38.760 - [groans] - Yeah, I expected he could have 00:41:38.880 --> 00:41:40.080 done much better than this, yeah. 00:41:42.560 --> 00:41:43.920 [James] Can I just explain how this show works. 00:41:43.960 --> 00:41:45.320 When we say, like, we went to Japan previously, 00:41:45.400 --> 00:41:47.080 this time we decided to come to Italy, 00:41:47.160 --> 00:41:48.560 and I said I would like to... 00:41:48.640 --> 00:41:50.360 there's lots of art things I wanted to see, 00:41:50.440 --> 00:41:51.680 I wanted to help restore a mosaic, 00:41:51.760 --> 00:41:53.040 I wanted to do a bit about cooking, 00:41:53.120 --> 00:41:55.720 I wanted to go to the Campagnolo bicycle components factory, 00:41:55.800 --> 00:41:57.520 which I know you would have loved. 00:41:57.600 --> 00:42:00.000 To that, they then add the things they think 00:42:00.080 --> 00:42:03.520 it would be funny for me to do: snowball fighting, canoeing. 00:42:03.600 --> 00:42:06.360 The program is Our Man In Italy 00:42:06.440 --> 00:42:07.800 and at the beginning it says "James May," 00:42:07.880 --> 00:42:10.040 so I actually, ultimately say what we do 00:42:10.080 --> 00:42:12.240 and we're going to a café for an exchange of gifts 00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:16.720 and a doppio espresso and maybe un bicchieri vino bianco. 00:42:16.800 --> 00:42:17.880 - Sì? - Sì. 00:42:17.920 --> 00:42:19.280 That's much more interesting, isn't it, 00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:23.320 than watching a twat flap about in a canoe. 00:42:23.360 --> 00:42:26.360 Consider yourselves told, crew. 00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:31.880 The doppio espresso merely delayed the inevitable, 00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:34.800 an awkward goodbye. 00:42:39.040 --> 00:42:41.280 - I have a gift for you. - [James] A gift? 00:42:41.320 --> 00:42:44.960 - Yeah, un regalo. - Un regalo, ooh. 00:42:45.080 --> 00:42:46.520 Beautifully wrapped. 00:42:46.640 --> 00:42:47.680 Yeah, I did it. 00:42:54.080 --> 00:42:55.360 - It's a board game. - Yeah. 00:42:55.440 --> 00:42:56.880 It's a board game about Sicily. Should we play it? 00:42:56.960 --> 00:43:01.040 To see if you know enough about Sicily. 00:43:01.120 --> 00:43:03.920 There, that's nice, so there's Palermo, 00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:06.120 where we were, where we went in the square 00:43:06.200 --> 00:43:07.400 where the nuns had destroyed everything and 00:43:07.480 --> 00:43:08.600 - chopped the man's * off. - [Claudia laughs] 00:43:08.680 --> 00:43:10.120 [James] Such a generous offering 00:43:10.200 --> 00:43:11.360 deserves something 00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:14.120 of equal magnitude in return. 00:43:14.200 --> 00:43:16.840 Great deal of thought has gone into this. 00:43:16.920 --> 00:43:21.320 Grazie. Oh. 00:43:21.400 --> 00:43:23.600 Very personal. And very heartfelt. 00:43:25.320 --> 00:43:27.520 - It's your coppola. - Sì. 00:43:27.640 --> 00:43:29.080 - Do I have to wear it? - Yes. 00:43:31.560 --> 00:43:33.320 I think it looks better on you than me. 00:43:33.360 --> 00:43:35.280 Let's just get the opinion of the crew. 00:43:35.360 --> 00:43:36.880 - No, I don't think so. - [crew member] Sì. 00:43:36.960 --> 00:43:39.600 - Sì? - [crew member] It's because she's Italian. 00:43:39.680 --> 00:43:39.720 Grazie, James, molto gentile. 00:43:43.600 --> 00:43:44.440 That's okay. 00:43:52.280 --> 00:43:55.920 My ferry is impartenza very soon. 00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:57.440 I'm really sad. 00:43:57.520 --> 00:43:59.120 I'm sad as well. 00:44:01.240 --> 00:44:02.400 - Lovely to meet you. - Okay. 00:44:02.520 --> 00:44:04.000 Seriously, it's been absolutely fabulous 00:44:04.120 --> 00:44:05.840 and I don't want this to be emotional because 00:44:05.920 --> 00:44:07.360 we're on television and it will look inappropriate, 00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:09.400 so I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna go. 00:44:09.480 --> 00:44:11.640 - Okay, grazie. - All right. 00:44:11.720 --> 00:44:13.360 - Grazie. - Sicily. 00:44:13.440 --> 00:44:15.320 Bye, bye. 00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:16.760 Oh, dear. 00:44:27.320 --> 00:44:29.000 [James] I knew the editor would put 00:44:29.080 --> 00:44:31.600 some schmaltzy lovey-dovey music over this bit. 00:44:31.680 --> 00:44:33.880 Just as well, it's the end of the film 00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:36.520 and I'll have forgotten about it by episode two... 00:44:36.560 --> 00:44:40.560 that's when I arrive on the mainland.