WEBVTT

00:00:03.833 --> 00:00:05.458
Look at this ring.

00:00:05.500 --> 00:00:07.458
I cannot stop looking
at this ring.

00:00:07.500 --> 00:00:09.541
You know you still haven't
technically said yes, right?

00:00:09.583 --> 00:00:11.583
I mean, you said, "Oh, my God,"
like, a million times

00:00:11.625 --> 00:00:13.666
and then you hugged a man
that was not me.

00:00:13.708 --> 00:00:15.500
Of course I'll marry you.
I love you, Nick.

00:00:15.500 --> 00:00:17.458
I love that you want to come
straight here and tell my folks.

00:00:17.500 --> 00:00:18.916
I don't have parents to tell.

00:00:18.958 --> 00:00:21.208
And yours are like the mom
and dad of my dreams.

00:00:21.250 --> 00:00:22.208
You remember the plan, right?

00:00:22.250 --> 00:00:24.125
Like the back of my hand,

00:00:24.166 --> 00:00:26.250
which is so much sparklier now.

00:00:26.291 --> 00:00:28.250
All right, we're gonna
play it cool

00:00:28.291 --> 00:00:29.291
until we're eating,
and then...

00:00:29.333 --> 00:00:31.000
And then I'll say,

00:00:31.041 --> 00:00:33.291
"You know what my favorite
part of this dinner is?

00:00:33.333 --> 00:00:36.416
The karats, kaboom!"Kaboom!

00:00:36.458 --> 00:00:37.750
All right, let's do this.

00:00:37.791 --> 00:00:39.208
Not a word until dinner.

00:00:39.250 --> 00:00:40.458
All right.Okay.

00:00:41.458 --> 00:00:43.375
Hey, guys.Hey, you two.

00:00:43.416 --> 00:00:45.125
We're getting married!

00:00:46.333 --> 00:00:47.666
I knew it!
I knew it!

00:00:47.666 --> 00:00:47.708
♪

00:00:47.708 --> 00:00:48.291
♪

00:00:53.291 --> 00:00:54.958
Nicholas, how could you
not tell your mother

00:00:55.000 --> 00:00:57.083
you were gonna propose?

00:00:57.125 --> 00:00:58.166
I was going to.
I was.

00:00:58.208 --> 00:00:59.458
But then I remembered
something.

00:00:59.500 --> 00:01:01.208
You can't keep a secret.

00:01:01.250 --> 00:01:02.458
That's true, Rose.

00:01:02.500 --> 00:01:04.375
You threw me a surprise
50th birthday party

00:01:04.416 --> 00:01:06.875
and made me design
the invitations.

00:01:06.916 --> 00:01:09.250
Who wants to be surprised, Walt?

00:01:09.291 --> 00:01:10.583
That's how people die.

00:01:11.375 --> 00:01:12.041
♪ Fly me to the moon

00:01:12.083 --> 00:01:14.875
♪ And let me play
among the stars... ♪

00:01:14.916 --> 00:01:16.916
I can't wait
for our first dance.

00:01:16.958 --> 00:01:19.875
Ooh, you know, what's gonna make
our first dance really special?

00:01:19.916 --> 00:01:21.291
Is when I do this.

00:01:21.333 --> 00:01:23.000
Can I get a beat?

00:01:24.916 --> 00:01:25.875
Hey, sis.

00:01:25.916 --> 00:01:28.625
Shannon,
what are you doing here?

00:01:28.666 --> 00:01:30.750
I picked the lock and now I'm
eating your leftover spaghetti.

00:01:30.791 --> 00:01:34.083
Or pad thai. Whatever it is,
it's not very good.

00:01:34.125 --> 00:01:35.666
How did you even get
in the building?

00:01:35.708 --> 00:01:37.958
I snuck in behind some
old blind lady with a cane.

00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:40.708
Didn't even know I was
in the elevator with her.

00:01:40.750 --> 00:01:43.208
It was like a horror movie.

00:01:43.250 --> 00:01:44.750
Is this your sister?

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Half sister. You got any
hot sauce or, like, a burrito?

00:01:49.041 --> 00:01:50.416
Well, Shannon,
it's great to meet you.

00:01:50.458 --> 00:01:52.208
Hot sauce is on the stove.
I'll be right back

00:01:52.250 --> 00:01:53.916
'cause ya boy's *.

00:01:56.250 --> 00:01:59.458
Ooh! Speaking of hot sauce,
who's that?

00:01:59.500 --> 00:02:01.291
He's my fiancé.

00:02:01.333 --> 00:02:03.958
Ooh, "fiancé."
Look who speaks French.

00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.083
This place is bougie.

00:02:05.125 --> 00:02:07.583
You got a piano.

00:02:07.625 --> 00:02:09.958
Glass Tupperware.

00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.791
Wait, am I, am I feeling
central air?

00:02:13.833 --> 00:02:15.416
Shannon,
what are you doing here?

00:02:15.458 --> 00:02:17.833
I needed a place to crash until
my boyfriend gets back tomorrow.

00:02:17.875 --> 00:02:19.083
He's selling a pound of weed

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to pay off the deposit
for a new apartment.

00:02:22.791 --> 00:02:24.583
He's a good man.

00:02:24.625 --> 00:02:26.666
You're gonna live
with a drug dealer?

00:02:26.708 --> 00:02:29.000
When you were 16,
you lived with a drug dealer.

00:02:29.041 --> 00:02:30.833
Mikey did not deal drugs.

00:02:30.875 --> 00:02:32.791
Mikey did drugs.
There's a difference.

00:02:33.833 --> 00:02:35.791
Why aren't you living
with your mom?

00:02:35.875 --> 00:02:37.416
Oh, you are way behind.

00:02:37.458 --> 00:02:39.083
She moved to Phoenix,
like, a year ago,

00:02:39.125 --> 00:02:41.791
and I cannot take living
with Dad anymore...

00:02:41.833 --> 00:02:43.791
Shh!

00:02:43.833 --> 00:02:45.708
I told Nick that Dad was dead.

00:02:45.750 --> 00:02:46.875
Why would you do that?

00:02:46.916 --> 00:02:48.833
Because he's
a narcissistic sociopath.

00:02:48.875 --> 00:02:51.333
Then what are you
marrying him for?

00:02:51.375 --> 00:02:53.000
I'm talking about Dad.

00:02:53.041 --> 00:02:55.208
Oh. Oh, yeah. He totally is.

00:02:55.250 --> 00:02:57.916
Look, family is really
important to Nick.

00:02:57.958 --> 00:03:00.041
And if he found out that I cut
my own father out of my life,

00:03:00.083 --> 00:03:01.208
he would never understand,

00:03:01.291 --> 00:03:02.916
so I kind of, sort of
panicked and...

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Murdered Dad, you psycho?

00:03:06.083 --> 00:03:08.583
Look, Nick knows
everything else about me,

00:03:08.625 --> 00:03:11.166
so please just don't
say anything about Dad.

00:03:11.208 --> 00:03:14.083
If there's one thing
I'm good at, it's lying.

00:03:14.125 --> 00:03:15.541
I need a beer,
like, yesterday.

00:03:15.541 --> 00:03:15.666
I need a beer,
like, yesterday.

00:03:15.708 --> 00:03:18.166
Uh... n-n-n-n-n-no.

00:03:18.208 --> 00:03:19.583
You cannot have a beer.

00:03:19.625 --> 00:03:21.083
Dad doesn't care if I drink.

00:03:21.125 --> 00:03:22.958
Well, Dad isn't here, is he?

00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.958
I know. He's dead.

00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:31.833
And he's never
coming back, ever.

00:03:33.083 --> 00:03:36.333
You're welcome. Now
can I have my beer?

00:03:41.625 --> 00:03:43.250
Babe, you forgot
your lecture notes.

00:03:43.333 --> 00:03:44.500
Mm. Thank you.

00:03:44.541 --> 00:03:46.291
Wait, is that,
like, paper?

00:03:46.333 --> 00:03:48.833
What is this, the fifth century?

00:03:48.875 --> 00:03:50.583
Actually, paper was created
in the eighth century

00:03:50.625 --> 00:03:52.416
but did not become ubiquitous
until the Chinese brought

00:03:52.458 --> 00:03:57.125
papermaking to... medieval
Europe. You right.

00:03:57.166 --> 00:03:59.041
What are you?

00:03:59.083 --> 00:04:00.708
He happens to be
an associate professor

00:04:00.750 --> 00:04:02.666
of world literature at NYU.

00:04:02.708 --> 00:04:05.625
Hmm. Hope he "happens to be"
good in the sack.

00:04:05.666 --> 00:04:08.416
Speaking of school,
what are you, a sophomore?

00:04:08.458 --> 00:04:12.208
No, I dropped out last year,
so I'm a no-more.

00:04:12.250 --> 00:04:13.833
You dropped out of school?

00:04:13.875 --> 00:04:15.125
What do I need school for?

00:04:15.166 --> 00:04:19.125
The lady inside of this,
she knows everything.

00:04:19.166 --> 00:04:21.583
Okay, well,
I got to get to campus.

00:04:21.625 --> 00:04:22.833
It was lovely meeting you.Not a hugger.

00:04:22.875 --> 00:04:22.916
Okay.

00:04:22.916 --> 00:04:23.583
Bye.

00:04:23.666 --> 00:04:25.833
How could you drop
out of school?

00:04:25.875 --> 00:04:28.750
Oh, it was easy.
I just stopped going.

00:04:28.791 --> 00:04:29.958
Does Dad know?

00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.958
I don't know.
I just keep on telling him

00:04:32.000 --> 00:04:35.458
I'm on Christmas break, and he
keeps not caring about my life.

00:04:36.791 --> 00:04:38.208
And what gives you the right
to lecture me?

00:04:38.250 --> 00:04:39.833
Because I wasyou.

00:04:39.875 --> 00:04:40.958
And then I got
my life together.

00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:42.083
I've got a great guy,

00:04:42.125 --> 00:04:44.541
I've got a great job, and yes,

00:04:44.583 --> 00:04:47.208
that iscentral air
that you're feeling.

00:04:47.250 --> 00:04:48.958
Great job?

00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:50.583
Based on what you're wearing,
you're what?

00:04:50.625 --> 00:04:53.250
A Ghostbuster?

00:04:53.291 --> 00:04:55.625
I work for the Metropolitan
Museum of Art.

00:04:55.666 --> 00:04:57.750
Busting ghosts?

00:04:57.791 --> 00:04:59.750
Event planning.

00:04:59.833 --> 00:05:01.333
Okay, look, Shannon,

00:05:01.375 --> 00:05:03.583
I'm worried about you.
I really am.

00:05:03.625 --> 00:05:05.208
And I want you to know
that if there's

00:05:05.250 --> 00:05:08.208
anything you need, I'm here.

00:05:08.250 --> 00:05:11.166
Oh, oh. No, no.
I will never need a hug.

00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:15.166
And don't worry about me.
I'm fine.

00:05:15.208 --> 00:05:18.416
Okay, I won't worry about you.

00:05:18.458 --> 00:05:21.083
So when's El Chapo
picking you up?

00:05:21.125 --> 00:05:22.500
In, like, an hour.

00:05:22.541 --> 00:05:24.458
And he doesn't have
a stupid name like El Chapo.

00:05:26.125 --> 00:05:28.583
His name is MC DJ Jo Jo.

00:05:28.625 --> 00:05:30.041
Yep. Nothing to worry about.

00:05:32.958 --> 00:05:34.541
Excuse me. Can I help you?

00:05:34.583 --> 00:05:37.333
Yes, I would like to report
a father neglecting his child.

00:05:37.375 --> 00:05:39.083
Clem!

00:05:39.125 --> 00:05:40.916
Hi-ya, Dad.

00:05:40.958 --> 00:05:42.666
It's been years.
What are you doing here?

00:05:42.708 --> 00:05:45.666
Do you have any idea where
your 16-year-old daughter is?

00:05:45.708 --> 00:05:49.250
Shannon's 16?

00:05:49.291 --> 00:05:52.125
She dropped out of high school.

00:05:52.166 --> 00:05:55.875
Oh, calm down.
It's Christmas break.

00:05:57.916 --> 00:06:00.708
Wait. No, that can't be.

00:06:00.750 --> 00:06:02.250
It's September.

00:06:02.291 --> 00:06:04.708
Can we go someplace
and talk in private?

00:06:04.750 --> 00:06:06.166
Yeah, sure.

00:06:06.208 --> 00:06:09.000
Uh, can somebody get the hookers
out of the holding room?

00:06:10.416 --> 00:06:12.416
I don't know why you're
so concerned with Shannon.

00:06:12.458 --> 00:06:13.791
Have you met her boyfriend?

00:06:13.833 --> 00:06:16.958
He's an MC and a DJ.

00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:20.041
She broke into my apartment
last night.

00:06:20.083 --> 00:06:22.041
That's awesome.

00:06:22.083 --> 00:06:23.333
I taught her

00:06:23.375 --> 00:06:26.250
how to pick locks,
just like I taught you.

00:06:26.291 --> 00:06:29.333
A dad isn't supposed to teach
their kids how to pick locks.

00:06:29.375 --> 00:06:31.166
He teaches them
how to play sports

00:06:31.208 --> 00:06:34.250
and reads them books and helps
them with their homework.

00:06:34.291 --> 00:06:36.875
Well, how am I gonna do all that
if I'm locked in a room

00:06:36.916 --> 00:06:39.500
and she can't get in?

00:06:39.541 --> 00:06:41.666
This is exactly
why I stopped talking to you.

00:06:41.708 --> 00:06:45.416
Look, Clem, for the record,

00:06:45.458 --> 00:06:47.708
I never wanted this.

00:06:51.458 --> 00:06:53.416
Me neither.

00:06:53.458 --> 00:06:56.416
I mean, I never wanted kids.

00:06:59.041 --> 00:07:01.416
Of course that's what you meant.

00:07:01.458 --> 00:07:03.208
I knew I'd be bad at it!

00:07:03.250 --> 00:07:04.875
I didn't know what
to do with you.

00:07:04.916 --> 00:07:10.416
And after your mom died-- look,
I tried to get you other moms,

00:07:10.458 --> 00:07:12.416
but women are whack jobs.

00:07:12.458 --> 00:07:15.416
You guys are angry,
like, all the time.

00:07:15.458 --> 00:07:17.208
Has it ever occurred to you
that if all the women

00:07:17.250 --> 00:07:18.416
you know are angry,

00:07:18.458 --> 00:07:19.583
"like, all the time,"

00:07:19.625 --> 00:07:21.500
maybe it's because of you?

00:07:21.541 --> 00:07:23.541
Nah.

00:07:25.083 --> 00:07:27.458
I don't know.

00:07:28.458 --> 00:07:30.583
Maybe.

00:07:30.625 --> 00:07:34.458
You know, I used to take
Shannon to the zoo,

00:07:34.500 --> 00:07:36.625
and we'd watch the pandas
for hours.

00:07:36.666 --> 00:07:40.250
And I remember seeing this one
rocking his little cub to sleep,

00:07:40.291 --> 00:07:42.166
and I just started to cry,

00:07:42.208 --> 00:07:43.625
because
I couldn't believe

00:07:43.666 --> 00:07:46.041
that a panda was a better dad
than you.

00:07:46.083 --> 00:07:48.500
A panda.

00:07:48.541 --> 00:07:53.625
I mean, it's not like pandas
have a lot going on.

00:07:53.666 --> 00:07:57.333
You know, in spite of you,
I managed to turn out okay.

00:07:57.375 --> 00:07:59.333
But lightning
doesn't strike twice.

00:07:59.375 --> 00:08:02.333
Bring her home.

00:08:02.375 --> 00:08:04.583
Shannon needs a father.

00:08:04.625 --> 00:08:06.958
For once in your life,
try to be one.

00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:12.541
See? Women. Whack jobs.

00:08:16.375 --> 00:08:17.833
Hey, baby,

00:08:17.875 --> 00:08:20.458
I've been trying to call you.
Look how cute you look.

00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:21.416
How was your day?

00:08:23.708 --> 00:08:25.583
That good, huh?

00:08:25.625 --> 00:08:27.416
It was awful.Aw.

00:08:27.416 --> 00:08:27.541
What?

00:08:27.583 --> 00:08:29.458
She's still here?
What happened?

00:08:29.500 --> 00:08:31.041
Well, to everyone's shock,
the drug dealer

00:08:31.083 --> 00:08:34.000
turned out not to be
a good person.

00:08:34.041 --> 00:08:35.375
Well, what is she gonna do?

00:08:35.416 --> 00:08:36.750
I don't know. I told her
she could crash here

00:08:36.791 --> 00:08:37.875
another night
till she figures it out.

00:08:37.916 --> 00:08:39.291
And when my mom
found out

00:08:39.333 --> 00:08:41.375
Shannon was here,
she invited us over for dinner.

00:08:41.416 --> 00:08:44.125
Shannon? At your parents' house?

00:08:44.166 --> 00:08:46.916
Hope your mom's making
corn dogs for dinner.

00:08:46.958 --> 00:08:49.625
Oh, my God, my wedding dress.

00:08:49.666 --> 00:08:52.083
Well, I was right.
Long, white,

00:08:52.125 --> 00:08:53.916
and the head pops
out of the top.

00:08:55.250 --> 00:08:56.708
What the hell are you doing?

00:08:56.750 --> 00:08:58.041
What? We're having dinner
with the in-laws,

00:08:58.083 --> 00:08:59.208
and I wanted to wear
something nice,

00:08:59.250 --> 00:09:01.208
so I grabbed
this dumb old thing.

00:09:01.250 --> 00:09:02.666
It's a Christian Dior.

00:09:02.708 --> 00:09:05.375
Who cares what religion it is?

00:09:05.416 --> 00:09:08.000
Just take it off.Okay, okay. Fine.

00:09:08.041 --> 00:09:09.416
I thought you
guys would laugh.

00:09:09.458 --> 00:09:10.583
Look, Shannon,

00:09:10.625 --> 00:09:12.333
Nick's parents mean a lot to me,

00:09:12.375 --> 00:09:16.041
so tonight,
just please try not to...

00:09:16.083 --> 00:09:18.041
What, embarrass you
in front of them?

00:09:18.083 --> 00:09:19.708
I'm not a monster, Clem.

00:09:19.750 --> 00:09:22.166
I mean, look at you.

00:09:22.208 --> 00:09:24.208
You made something of yourself.

00:09:24.250 --> 00:09:26.125
I'm almost kind of happy
for you.

00:09:26.166 --> 00:09:27.541
Really? You are?

00:09:27.583 --> 00:09:28.750
Come on.

00:09:28.791 --> 00:09:30.541
Let's go find you something
to wear

00:09:30.583 --> 00:09:34.583
that's less deeply meaningful
and important to me.

00:09:34.625 --> 00:09:36.541
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:09:36.583 --> 00:09:38.958
Did you eat all of my nuts?

00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:40.000
Nick did.

00:09:40.041 --> 00:09:42.125
Nick ate all my pot nuts?

00:09:42.166 --> 00:09:43.708
Wait, your what nuts?

00:09:43.750 --> 00:09:46.708
My pot nuts.
Nuts with pot in them.

00:09:46.750 --> 00:09:49.250
My mari-walnuts.

00:09:49.291 --> 00:09:50.625
Oh, no.

00:09:50.666 --> 00:09:52.625
We're going
to his parents' house.

00:09:52.666 --> 00:09:54.875
Don't worry. They're super mild.

00:09:54.916 --> 00:09:57.875
Nick will be fine.

00:10:01.708 --> 00:10:02.958
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:04.625
I know what you all
are thinking.

00:10:04.666 --> 00:10:09.916
"How did he get those olives
on his fingers?"

00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:13.208
That is absolutely not
what we were thinking.

00:10:13.250 --> 00:10:16.708
I removed the pimentos.

00:10:16.750 --> 00:10:19.333
Ah...

00:10:19.375 --> 00:10:20.916
Are you all right, son?

00:10:20.958 --> 00:10:22.541
I am *in', Dad.

00:10:24.583 --> 00:10:26.541
This is so lovely.
It really is.

00:10:26.625 --> 00:10:29.125
Thank you so much for
having us over for dinner.

00:10:29.166 --> 00:10:30.666
It's our pleasure.

00:10:30.708 --> 00:10:33.250
Besides, it's so wonderful
to finally meet your sister.

00:10:33.291 --> 00:10:35.583
Half sister. We
share the same dad.

00:10:35.625 --> 00:10:36.708
Oh.

00:10:36.750 --> 00:10:39.458
Who's, like, totally dead.

00:10:40.916 --> 00:10:43.083
I am so sorry about your father.

00:10:43.125 --> 00:10:44.708
How did he pass?

00:10:44.750 --> 00:10:46.333
Oh, it's-it's fine.
He was hit by a bu...

00:10:46.375 --> 00:10:48.541
Cancer. Mm-hmm.
Cancer.

00:10:48.583 --> 00:10:51.541
He was hit by
* cancer.

00:10:55.583 --> 00:10:57.500
Nicholas, that's not funny.

00:10:57.541 --> 00:11:00.458
We are talking
about their late father.

00:11:02.625 --> 00:11:03.916
Good evening, Officer.
Can I help you?

00:11:03.958 --> 00:11:06.333
Yeah, are, uh,
Clem and Shannon here?

00:11:06.375 --> 00:11:08.625
I'm their dad.

00:11:09.666 --> 00:11:12.708
Oh, my God, he's alive!

00:11:20.500 --> 00:11:21.833
Clementine,

00:11:21.875 --> 00:11:23.625
you told me your dad was dead.

00:11:23.666 --> 00:11:27.500
This looks like very much
the opposite.

00:11:28.791 --> 00:11:30.833
How did you even find us?

00:11:30.875 --> 00:11:32.333
I'm a homicide detective.

00:11:32.375 --> 00:11:34.875
I have a hundred illegal ways
to track people down.

00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:37.416
What are you even doing here?

00:11:37.458 --> 00:11:40.583
That speech you gave
at the station about how Shannon

00:11:40.625 --> 00:11:44.250
was a messed up panda,
it-it got to me.

00:11:44.291 --> 00:11:45.791
I came to take her

00:11:45.833 --> 00:11:47.791
off your hands
like you begged me to.

00:11:47.833 --> 00:11:51.583
You begged Dad
to come and get me?

00:11:51.666 --> 00:11:53.541
What the hell
is wrong with you, Clem?

00:11:53.625 --> 00:11:54.833
I'm sorry. Look, I...

00:11:54.875 --> 00:11:56.833
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:11:58.416 --> 00:12:03.208
If you did not die from *
cancer, what did you die from?

00:12:03.250 --> 00:12:06.041
Who is this guy?
He's stoned out of his gourd.

00:12:06.083 --> 00:12:07.416
He's my fiancé.

00:12:07.458 --> 00:12:10.000
And my son does not smoke pot.

00:12:10.041 --> 00:12:12.583
Oh, he didn't smoke it.
He ate it.

00:12:13.750 --> 00:12:17.083
And that is on me.

00:12:17.125 --> 00:12:21.458
Suddenly this evening
is starting to make sense.

00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:23.500
Why didn't you tell me
you were engaged?

00:12:23.541 --> 00:12:26.083
For the same reason that I told
everyone you were dead.

00:12:26.125 --> 00:12:29.791
Because I want nothing
to do with you.

00:12:29.833 --> 00:12:31.750
These people
are my family now,

00:12:31.791 --> 00:12:34.375
because my real one
is a disaster.

00:12:34.416 --> 00:12:36.291
Wow. You hear that, Shannon?

00:12:36.333 --> 00:12:38.125
You're a disaster.

00:12:40.791 --> 00:12:43.125
I was mostly talking
to you, Dad.

00:12:43.166 --> 00:12:47.125
Wow. You hear that, Shannon?
"Mostly."

00:12:47.125 --> 00:12:49.708
Bye, Clems.
Shannon...

00:12:55.000 --> 00:12:55.041
Oh, she must've left it here.

00:12:57.083 --> 00:12:59.041
Her panda.

00:12:59.083 --> 00:13:02.250
I got this for her
when she was little.

00:13:02.291 --> 00:13:05.250
I know this is hard to believe,
but she used to be

00:13:05.291 --> 00:13:07.875
the sweetest kid
in the entire world.

00:13:07.916 --> 00:13:09.916
I can totally see that.

00:13:11.333 --> 00:13:13.291
Aw, look.

00:13:13.333 --> 00:13:16.958
She tried to steal
our Nespresso machine.

00:13:19.375 --> 00:13:21.375
Shannon's all alone, Nick.

00:13:21.416 --> 00:13:23.166
Like I was.

00:13:23.208 --> 00:13:24.791
I need to be there for her.

00:13:24.833 --> 00:13:27.000
Wedo.

00:13:27.041 --> 00:13:28.166
Can we go get her?

00:13:28.208 --> 00:13:29.250
Let's go.

00:13:30.541 --> 00:13:32.791
I am so lucky to have you.

00:13:32.833 --> 00:13:34.333
I'm the lucky one.

00:13:34.416 --> 00:13:37.375
You are seriously the most
incredible woman in the world.

00:13:37.416 --> 00:13:39.250
I'm really not.

00:13:39.333 --> 00:13:42.125
And if you'd slept with more
people, you would know that.

00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:45.375
Come on, Shannon. Open up.

00:13:45.416 --> 00:13:49.000
I would, but I'm too busy
being a disaster.

00:13:50.666 --> 00:13:52.416
Huh.

00:13:52.458 --> 00:13:53.791
Haven't done that in years.

00:13:53.833 --> 00:13:55.708
What do you and Hot Sauce want?

00:13:55.750 --> 00:13:57.500
You left your backpack.

00:13:57.541 --> 00:13:59.625
Whoa, whoa.

00:13:59.666 --> 00:14:01.791
What happened
to my Nespresso machine?

00:14:03.666 --> 00:14:05.666
We want you
to come live with us.

00:14:05.708 --> 00:14:07.291
Hard pass.

00:14:07.333 --> 00:14:09.333
My life is Gucci.

00:14:09.375 --> 00:14:11.875
No, Shannon,
your life is not Gucci.

00:14:11.958 --> 00:14:13.333
I know, because I had it.

00:14:13.375 --> 00:14:14.791
I drank a lot,

00:14:14.875 --> 00:14:17.875
I smoked a lot,
I hooked up with a...

00:14:19.166 --> 00:14:20.833
...fair amount.

00:14:22.333 --> 00:14:24.500
And after all that, you know
what I ended up getting?

00:14:24.541 --> 00:14:26.208
HPV?

00:14:27.416 --> 00:14:30.000
No. No.

00:14:31.291 --> 00:14:33.625
What I got was nothing.

00:14:33.666 --> 00:14:38.750
I had to figure everything out
the hard way, and it *ed.

00:14:38.791 --> 00:14:40.958
You could use
an older sister.

00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:44.500
Sister? That means nothing.

00:14:44.541 --> 00:14:47.708
Dad knocked up two different
women, and we popped out.

00:14:47.750 --> 00:14:50.125
There's probably 20 more
running around New York

00:14:50.166 --> 00:14:52.208
that look vaguely like us.

00:14:52.250 --> 00:14:54.666
Hey, of all the places
you could've broken into,

00:14:54.708 --> 00:14:56.666
you broke into
your sister's apartment.

00:14:56.708 --> 00:14:58.625
That means something.

00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:02.791
Look, I used to think
family meant nothing, too.

00:15:02.833 --> 00:15:05.708
But then I met this guy,
and I realized

00:15:05.750 --> 00:15:08.458
that family is everything.

00:15:09.875 --> 00:15:12.166
No one says "family" anymore.

00:15:12.208 --> 00:15:14.166
It's just "fam."

00:15:15.375 --> 00:15:17.208
Come on. Go get your stuff.

00:15:17.250 --> 00:15:18.458
Let's go home.

00:15:18.500 --> 00:15:20.583
Are you guys sure about this?

00:15:22.500 --> 00:15:25.458
We have never been less sure

00:15:25.500 --> 00:15:28.500
about anything
in our entire lives.

00:15:34.750 --> 00:15:36.958
I knew she was a hugger.

00:15:37.000 --> 00:15:39.125
Guess who's coming in
to get some.

00:15:41.708 --> 00:15:45.208
♪ Flip me, flip my flop

00:15:46.458 --> 00:15:48.416
What?

00:15:48.458 --> 00:15:50.833
So I put some mari-walnuts
on their salad.

00:15:50.875 --> 00:15:52.291
I got to find
some way to make

00:15:52.333 --> 00:15:54.208
these family dinners
interesting.

00:15:56.500 --> 00:15:58.333
Thank you
for letting her stay here.

00:15:58.375 --> 00:15:59.666
I couldn't say no.

00:15:59.708 --> 00:16:01.666
Well, you could have.

00:16:01.708 --> 00:16:04.000
Now, see, I did not know that.

00:16:04.041 --> 00:16:05.541
♪ Fill my heart with song

00:16:07.708 --> 00:16:10.666
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

00:16:10.708 --> 00:16:13.708
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org