WEBVTT 00:00:10.432 --> 00:00:12.475 LOIS: Hal? 00:00:16.271 --> 00:00:17.063 Are you smoking again? 00:00:17.105 --> 00:00:18.064 No! 00:00:18.106 --> 00:00:19.524 I am cleaning. 00:00:19.607 --> 00:00:21.234 Do you smell smoke? No, but I... 00:00:21.276 --> 00:00:23.236 No, Lois, if I wanted to smoke a cigar 00:00:23.278 --> 00:00:25.071 I wouldn't be sneaking around 00:00:25.113 --> 00:00:26.322 like a scared little schoolboy. 00:00:26.364 --> 00:00:29.409 I would do it out in the open like a man. 00:00:34.080 --> 00:00:36.041 That was our third shop vac. 00:00:36.082 --> 00:00:38.960 That is our last shop vac. 00:01:10.950 --> 00:01:12.118 LOIS: Francis, I don't want to hear 00:01:12.160 --> 00:01:13.286 another argument about it. 00:01:13.328 --> 00:01:15.789 You are going to fix the roof. 00:01:15.789 --> 00:01:17.290 That is totally unfair! 00:01:17.332 --> 00:01:18.708 I come home from school and 00:01:18.792 --> 00:01:19.918 you immediately put me to work. 00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:20.919 Well, someone has to do it, 00:01:20.960 --> 00:01:23.004 and you know your father is terrified of heights. 00:01:23.046 --> 00:01:24.923 He is not terrified! 00:01:24.964 --> 00:01:26.508 The last time he changed a lightbulb, 00:01:26.549 --> 00:01:28.176 we had to talk him down from the table. 00:01:28.218 --> 00:01:29.803 You are going to do this. 00:01:29.886 --> 00:01:32.097 Why don't you just put a choke chain around my neck 00:01:32.138 --> 00:01:33.973 and make me sleep in the garage?! 00:01:35.475 --> 00:01:38.353 This is what we call a "level four" rage. 00:01:38.394 --> 00:01:40.897 The only way not to get nailed is to make no sudden moves 00:01:40.939 --> 00:01:44.818 and avoid eye contact at all costs. 00:01:49.572 --> 00:01:50.824 And you... 00:01:50.907 --> 00:01:52.992 You think just because you hide the note, 00:01:53.076 --> 00:01:55.078 the parent-teacher meeting will just go away? 00:01:55.120 --> 00:01:57.122 Mom, Mr. Woodward is totally out to get me. 00:01:57.163 --> 00:01:58.790 Every teacher since kindergarten 00:01:58.832 --> 00:01:59.791 has been out to get you. 00:01:59.833 --> 00:02:01.626 I know. It upsets me, too. 00:02:24.941 --> 00:02:28.361 Why is the drain still clogged? 00:02:32.031 --> 00:02:34.200 Uh, honey, there was a, you know... 00:02:34.242 --> 00:02:35.994 I was only seconds away from... 00:02:36.035 --> 00:02:36.995 It's a funny thing, see... 00:02:37.036 --> 00:02:39.289 Oh, what a mess! Look at that! 00:02:39.330 --> 00:02:42.876 That is a milk ring on the table. 00:02:44.669 --> 00:02:49.507 Reese is still searching for academic truth. 00:02:49.549 --> 00:02:52.051 His... 00:02:52.135 --> 00:02:54.888 focus is diffuse. 00:02:54.971 --> 00:02:57.182 His initiative is waning, and... 00:02:57.223 --> 00:03:00.310 it's preventing his full potentiation. 00:03:00.351 --> 00:03:02.979 What? 00:03:03.021 --> 00:03:07.358 To put it simply, Reese isn't self-actualized. 00:03:07.400 --> 00:03:09.110 Look, maybe I could just give you a topic 00:03:09.194 --> 00:03:11.196 and you could tell us "good" or "bad." 00:03:11.237 --> 00:03:12.488 That would help us here. 00:03:12.572 --> 00:03:16.034 Reese is flunking almost every subject, 00:03:16.075 --> 00:03:18.036 and I'm going to recommend 00:03:18.077 --> 00:03:20.830 that he be moved into the remedial class. 00:03:20.914 --> 00:03:22.624 And that's a euphemism for... 00:03:22.665 --> 00:03:24.292 The remedial class. 00:03:26.085 --> 00:03:30.048 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 00:03:30.089 --> 00:03:32.050 No, no, that is not an option. 00:03:32.091 --> 00:03:33.092 We'll get him to buckle down. 00:03:33.134 --> 00:03:34.302 I hope it's that simple. 00:03:34.344 --> 00:03:35.845 Reese will get back on track. 00:03:35.929 --> 00:03:37.305 We'll see to it if it kills him. 00:03:37.347 --> 00:03:40.308 I'm glad to see your level of commitment. 00:03:40.350 --> 00:03:42.644 I'm really happy we had this chance to talk. 00:03:42.685 --> 00:03:45.855 So we can go now. 00:03:45.897 --> 00:03:47.357 I don't want to hear any excuses. 00:03:47.398 --> 00:03:48.942 You will sit down every night 00:03:49.025 --> 00:03:50.944 and work until those grades are up. 00:03:51.027 --> 00:03:52.362 Why do I have to tutor him? 00:03:52.403 --> 00:03:53.112 Because 00:03:53.196 --> 00:03:54.489 God gave you a giant brain. 00:03:54.530 --> 00:03:55.615 Blame him. 00:03:55.657 --> 00:03:57.200 Reese *s up, and I get punished for it? 00:03:57.242 --> 00:03:58.493 Where's the logic in that? 00:03:58.534 --> 00:04:01.204 Malcolm, I have zero tolerance on this one. 00:04:01.246 --> 00:04:04.123 Finally, Mom found the courage to speak her mind. 00:04:04.207 --> 00:04:06.793 Why aren't you fixing that roof? 00:04:06.876 --> 00:04:09.170 It's 40 degrees out there. I'll freeze. 00:04:09.254 --> 00:04:10.171 And it's going to rain. 00:04:10.255 --> 00:04:11.965 That's why you have to fix the roof. 00:04:12.048 --> 00:04:14.175 Well, maybe if you didn't buy such crappy shingles, 00:04:14.259 --> 00:04:15.343 it wouldn't leak all the time. 00:04:15.426 --> 00:04:17.136 Francis, as long as you are in this house, 00:04:17.178 --> 00:04:19.097 you will do as I say. 00:04:19.138 --> 00:04:20.682 You know what, Mom? 00:04:20.723 --> 00:04:21.641 No. 00:04:21.683 --> 00:04:25.103 I'm too old to be bullied by you. 00:04:25.144 --> 00:04:26.813 Our whole lives, you have done nothing 00:04:26.813 --> 00:04:29.274 but dictate what you wanted. 00:04:29.315 --> 00:04:30.900 You're the boss of the world, 00:04:30.984 --> 00:04:32.110 and we're all sick of it. 00:04:32.151 --> 00:04:35.113 This may be your roof, but we live here, too. 00:04:35.154 --> 00:04:36.114 We are human beings 00:04:36.155 --> 00:04:38.116 with rights, and I'm hereby putting an end 00:04:38.157 --> 00:04:39.367 to your reign of terror. 00:04:39.409 --> 00:04:41.119 You should have seen the look on her face. 00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:42.495 It was totally worth it. 00:04:42.537 --> 00:04:45.123 Sounds like you-you've had it rough. 00:04:45.164 --> 00:04:47.208 Oh, man, you have no idea. 00:04:49.544 --> 00:04:50.420 Thanks. 00:04:50.461 --> 00:04:52.714 I've got a place near the bus station. 00:04:52.755 --> 00:04:56.009 It's warm and fairly dry. 00:04:56.092 --> 00:04:58.011 You can stay there for a while. 00:04:58.094 --> 00:05:00.013 If-if you want to. 00:05:00.096 --> 00:05:01.639 You'd do that for me? 00:05:01.681 --> 00:05:02.640 It's a tough world. 00:05:02.682 --> 00:05:06.144 We've got to look out for each other. 00:05:06.185 --> 00:05:08.354 Thanks. 00:05:12.191 --> 00:05:13.693 Richie! Dude! 00:05:13.693 --> 00:05:15.236 I heard your mom kicked you out. 00:05:15.320 --> 00:05:16.529 You want to stay at my place? 00:05:16.612 --> 00:05:18.364 You are a lifesaver! 00:05:18.364 --> 00:05:19.782 Could you give me a lift to... 00:05:19.824 --> 00:05:22.368 Sorry, man. We're going the other way. 00:05:28.583 --> 00:05:29.792 Hi. 00:05:29.876 --> 00:05:31.336 Why aren't you flying? 00:05:31.377 --> 00:05:33.963 My name is Dewey. 00:05:34.047 --> 00:05:36.174 Good to meet you, Tony. 00:05:36.215 --> 00:05:37.550 Want to play? 00:05:37.592 --> 00:05:39.927 Okay, but I get to be the red team. 00:05:42.221 --> 00:05:44.182 Look, I don't like this any better than you do. 00:05:44.223 --> 00:05:45.767 Let's just get it over with. 00:05:45.808 --> 00:05:48.186 Dude, this book's totally wrecked. 00:05:48.227 --> 00:05:49.187 What did you do to it? 00:05:49.228 --> 00:05:50.355 I threw it at a duck. 00:05:50.396 --> 00:05:53.066 Well, where's your math book? 00:05:53.107 --> 00:05:54.192 Which half? 00:05:54.233 --> 00:05:56.110 We'll just start with geography, then. 00:05:56.152 --> 00:05:57.070 I don't take geography! 00:05:57.153 --> 00:05:58.071 Yes, you do. 00:05:58.154 --> 00:06:00.073 You got a grade in it. 00:06:00.156 --> 00:06:02.450 Oh, that can't be good. 00:06:04.035 --> 00:06:05.453 Mi casa es su casa. 00:06:05.536 --> 00:06:07.705 This may be my parents' house, 00:06:07.747 --> 00:06:08.998 but, dude... 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:11.042 down here, anything goes. 00:06:11.084 --> 00:06:12.919 Oh! What is that smell? 00:06:13.002 --> 00:06:14.295 It could be the laundry. 00:06:14.379 --> 00:06:16.089 It could be the mildew. 00:06:16.172 --> 00:06:17.382 It could be that rat I shot. 00:06:17.423 --> 00:06:19.300 I think I wounded it. 00:06:19.384 --> 00:06:21.302 It probably crawled into a hole in the wall 00:06:21.386 --> 00:06:24.305 to die or something. 00:06:24.389 --> 00:06:25.306 What's this? 00:06:25.390 --> 00:06:27.725 It's your bed. You got to blow it up. 00:06:34.649 --> 00:06:37.944 It is so real. 00:06:45.284 --> 00:06:47.787 Come on. What's the answer? 00:06:47.829 --> 00:06:49.622 You can do this. 00:06:59.966 --> 00:07:04.345 We've gone over this a thousand times. 00:07:04.429 --> 00:07:06.222 You have to carry the tenths. 00:07:06.264 --> 00:07:07.306 Tenths have to go someplace. 00:07:07.306 --> 00:07:09.475 Tenths don't just float around. 00:07:09.475 --> 00:07:10.518 Get smarter already! 00:07:10.601 --> 00:07:13.646 Think. Make your brain work. 00:07:13.646 --> 00:07:15.982 I could be outside doing anything other than this. 00:07:15.982 --> 00:07:18.359 But, no. I'm stuck in here babysitting this... 00:07:18.443 --> 00:07:20.278 4.2. 00:07:20.319 --> 00:07:22.280 That's right. 00:07:22.321 --> 00:07:24.282 I mean... 00:07:24.323 --> 00:07:26.284 I actually understand this. 00:07:26.325 --> 00:07:28.870 The tenths have to go someplace. 00:07:28.911 --> 00:07:31.497 Great. Let's move on to the next one. 00:07:49.557 --> 00:07:52.685 Hal! Come down from there! 00:07:52.727 --> 00:07:54.312 (high-pitched voice): Hi, honey. 00:07:54.353 --> 00:07:56.314 What do you think you're doing? 00:07:56.355 --> 00:07:58.483 Oh, just... fixing the shingles. 00:07:58.524 --> 00:08:00.276 Francis has responsibilities. 00:08:00.318 --> 00:08:02.028 You can't keep covering for him. 00:08:02.028 --> 00:08:03.362 This is not about him. 00:08:03.362 --> 00:08:04.822 It's about me. 00:08:04.864 --> 00:08:06.699 I just wanted to get some fresh air and... 00:08:06.699 --> 00:08:09.410 the view from up here is... 00:08:09.494 --> 00:08:11.120 is incredible. 00:08:11.162 --> 00:08:15.291 Did you ever think that I might be enjoying myself? 00:08:17.502 --> 00:08:20.588 I spent two days on it. 00:08:20.671 --> 00:08:23.299 There was even a paragraph that I thought really *ed 00:08:23.341 --> 00:08:25.051 so I went back and rewrote it. 00:08:25.051 --> 00:08:26.719 Malcolm, I'd never done that before, 00:08:26.719 --> 00:08:29.055 but last night... I mean, look at me. 00:08:29.055 --> 00:08:31.933 I'm going on and on while you're sitting here trying to read. 00:08:31.974 --> 00:08:33.059 How's the grammar? 00:08:33.100 --> 00:08:35.061 Never mind. 00:08:35.102 --> 00:08:37.230 Reese... 00:08:37.230 --> 00:08:40.441 This is C-minus work. 00:08:40.483 --> 00:08:42.151 All right! Nice job! 00:08:42.235 --> 00:08:43.819 You're not just saying that? 00:08:43.903 --> 00:08:46.239 No. This is seriously the best work I've ever seen you do. 00:08:46.239 --> 00:08:47.240 Yes! That's great! 00:08:47.240 --> 00:08:48.741 I couldn't have done it without you! 00:08:48.783 --> 00:08:50.034 Thanks, Malcolm. 00:08:50.076 --> 00:08:51.786 BOTH: Ew! 00:08:54.080 --> 00:08:56.374 I kicked your *! 00:08:56.415 --> 00:08:57.583 LOIS: You got another "F"! 00:08:57.625 --> 00:08:59.001 Mom, I read that paper. 00:08:59.043 --> 00:09:00.753 It's not an "F"! Then what is this? 00:09:00.753 --> 00:09:02.547 We've been studying four hours a night. 00:09:02.588 --> 00:09:03.881 Well, guess what. It's not enough. 00:09:03.923 --> 00:09:05.466 You're going to study eight hours a night 00:09:05.550 --> 00:09:07.093 if that's what it takes to get your grades up, 00:09:07.176 --> 00:09:08.636 and that's what you're going to do. But, Mom... 00:09:08.719 --> 00:09:09.887 I don't see a mother here. 00:09:09.929 --> 00:09:11.556 All I see is a warden with two prisoners 00:09:11.597 --> 00:09:12.723 who are out of their cell. 00:09:12.765 --> 00:09:14.100 Now get back in there! 00:09:14.100 --> 00:09:17.895 HAL: Oh, oh, oh! 00:09:17.937 --> 00:09:19.480 Not like this. 00:09:21.566 --> 00:09:23.734 I'm okay! I'm okay! 00:09:29.115 --> 00:09:30.992 Come on, Reese, the test is in two hours! 00:09:31.075 --> 00:09:32.285 This is too much, Malcolm. 00:09:32.326 --> 00:09:33.869 I'll never pass this thing. 00:09:33.911 --> 00:09:36.414 There's 30 true-false questions and five essays. 00:09:36.455 --> 00:09:37.331 It's impossible. 00:09:37.373 --> 00:09:39.000 So, Reese, today's the big test? 00:09:39.083 --> 00:09:40.835 What do you have to get on this thing 00:09:40.876 --> 00:09:42.753 to say out of remedial class? 00:09:42.795 --> 00:09:44.880 A "B." 00:09:46.007 --> 00:09:47.717 No, guys, he's serious. 00:09:47.758 --> 00:09:51.012 But you're... an idiot. 00:09:51.095 --> 00:09:52.763 You're right. 00:09:52.805 --> 00:09:55.683 Yeah. The only way this idiot's going to pass the test 00:09:55.725 --> 00:09:57.935 is if somebody else takes it for the idiot. 00:09:58.019 --> 00:09:59.812 Right, idiot? 00:09:59.854 --> 00:10:00.938 Stevie set the precedent! 00:10:01.022 --> 00:10:02.106 You had a chance for rebuttal, 00:10:02.189 --> 00:10:03.190 but since you didn't answer 00:10:03.190 --> 00:10:04.400 you waived your right! 00:10:04.483 --> 00:10:05.943 Therefore, it's an agreed-upon term! 00:10:06.027 --> 00:10:08.195 What am I going to do? 00:10:08.237 --> 00:10:10.197 I can't get put in the remedial class. 00:10:10.239 --> 00:10:12.074 They walk to the cafeteria 00:10:12.116 --> 00:10:13.576 holding each other's belts. 00:10:13.618 --> 00:10:14.702 Unless... 00:10:14.702 --> 00:10:15.953 maybe Lloyd's right. 00:10:16.037 --> 00:10:19.165 Maybe someone should take the test for you. 00:10:19.206 --> 00:10:21.167 You mean cheat? 00:10:21.208 --> 00:10:22.168 We can't cheat. 00:10:22.209 --> 00:10:23.711 Mom will kill us. 00:10:23.711 --> 00:10:24.712 And it's wrong. 00:10:24.712 --> 00:10:27.632 But more importantly, Mom would kill us! 00:10:27.715 --> 00:10:29.550 Hey, we're out of options here, Reese. 00:10:29.592 --> 00:10:31.886 You're going to get caught. No, we're not. 00:10:31.927 --> 00:10:32.970 And you know why? 00:10:33.012 --> 00:10:34.972 Because we have four brilliant minds here 00:10:35.014 --> 00:10:36.140 to help plan this out. 00:10:36.182 --> 00:10:38.059 You had to appeal to my vanity, didn't you? 00:10:38.142 --> 00:10:39.060 I'm in. 00:10:39.143 --> 00:10:40.978 I'm sorry, but I am honor-bound 00:10:41.020 --> 00:10:44.190 to report this conversation to the vice-principal. 00:10:44.231 --> 00:10:46.067 Then we're honor-bound to report 00:10:46.150 --> 00:10:48.069 you still sleep with an Elmo blankie. 00:10:48.152 --> 00:10:49.612 Okay, I'm in. 00:11:01.165 --> 00:11:04.251 We, uh... here's the VCR you ordered. 00:11:04.335 --> 00:11:05.920 I didn't order a VCR. 00:11:05.920 --> 00:11:07.254 Yes, you did! 00:11:07.296 --> 00:11:08.381 Feel free to call and verify. 00:11:08.422 --> 00:11:10.091 I know the extension number. 00:11:10.091 --> 00:11:11.634 There's someone there right now. 00:11:11.676 --> 00:11:12.301 That won't be... 00:11:12.343 --> 00:11:13.469 Or you can take a look 00:11:13.511 --> 00:11:14.679 at this A/V equipment schedule. 00:11:14.762 --> 00:11:17.223 Your name and class hour's right here on page seven 00:11:17.264 --> 00:11:18.224 in nonstudent handwriting. 00:11:18.265 --> 00:11:20.226 WOODWARD: All right. 00:11:20.267 --> 00:11:21.644 Go ahead and leave it. 00:11:21.686 --> 00:11:23.229 Okay. 00:11:23.270 --> 00:11:25.231 No, no, you said you didn't order a cart 00:11:25.272 --> 00:11:26.607 so you're not going to get one. 00:11:26.649 --> 00:11:29.485 We'll just be leaving and pushing this out the door. 00:11:30.277 --> 00:11:32.321 Ah, here it is! 00:11:48.379 --> 00:11:49.797 Hey, watch out! 00:11:49.839 --> 00:11:53.426 Be... the cannonball. 00:11:58.806 --> 00:12:00.141 Are you all right? 00:12:00.224 --> 00:12:03.310 Way to go... hot rod! 00:12:38.220 --> 00:12:41.474 Okay, well, there's the rat. 00:12:41.515 --> 00:12:44.310 No, Tony, that's not fair. 00:12:44.351 --> 00:12:48.189 Today it's my cartoons before school 00:12:48.272 --> 00:12:51.192 and your cartoons after school. 00:12:51.275 --> 00:12:53.611 Fine, Tony, be that way. 00:12:53.652 --> 00:12:57.490 I don't want to be your friend anyway. 00:13:05.164 --> 00:13:07.416 Tony! 00:13:07.500 --> 00:13:09.710 I can't stay mad at you either. 00:13:09.794 --> 00:13:11.420 Hey... 00:13:12.505 --> 00:13:14.423 Did you get that history test back yet? 00:13:14.507 --> 00:13:15.591 Not yet. No, haven't seen it. 00:13:15.674 --> 00:13:18.719 You both better pray for a "B." 00:13:20.387 --> 00:13:22.348 Hey, did Francis call you at work yet? 00:13:22.389 --> 00:13:24.350 No. No, I haven't talked to him since he... 00:13:24.391 --> 00:13:26.352 He thinks he's making some kind of point 00:13:26.393 --> 00:13:27.436 by cutting off all contact. 00:13:27.478 --> 00:13:28.562 You know, he should know. 00:13:28.604 --> 00:13:29.814 Till he's ready to apologize, 00:13:29.897 --> 00:13:31.357 there's really no reason to call. 00:13:31.398 --> 00:13:33.067 I can't wait to see the look on his face 00:13:33.108 --> 00:13:35.361 when he realizes that we have figured him out. 00:13:35.402 --> 00:13:38.364 Ah! What have we to figure out, dear? 00:13:38.405 --> 00:13:39.949 That I'm in it for the long haul. 00:13:39.990 --> 00:13:41.367 He should know 00:13:41.408 --> 00:13:42.952 I am prepared to go the distance! 00:13:42.993 --> 00:13:46.163 You know, I think he likes tomatoes on his sandwich. 00:13:46.705 --> 00:13:48.207 LLOYD: A masterful "B," 00:13:48.290 --> 00:13:49.291 Malcolm. 00:13:49.375 --> 00:13:51.126 I could never dumb myself down like this. 00:13:51.168 --> 00:13:52.294 I find this "F" 00:13:52.378 --> 00:13:54.213 very troubling. 00:13:54.255 --> 00:13:57.299 Something... stinks. 00:13:57.383 --> 00:13:59.134 He knows we cheated! 00:13:59.176 --> 00:14:02.304 We're going to have to start cutting separate deals. 00:14:02.388 --> 00:14:04.807 He doesn't know anything, Dabney. 00:14:04.890 --> 00:14:07.268 I'm gonna go talk to him. 00:14:07.309 --> 00:14:08.143 Mr. Woodward? 00:14:08.227 --> 00:14:09.520 I'm Malcolm, I'm Reese's brother. 00:14:09.603 --> 00:14:10.813 Oh, hi, how are you? 00:14:10.813 --> 00:14:11.939 Well, Reese is upset. 00:14:11.981 --> 00:14:13.691 He thinks he did better than an "F" 00:14:13.774 --> 00:14:14.942 on his history test. 00:14:14.984 --> 00:14:17.486 I read it over, and I sort of thought... 00:14:17.486 --> 00:14:18.529 it wasn't half bad. 00:14:18.612 --> 00:14:19.947 Do you think there's any way 00:14:19.989 --> 00:14:21.699 you can maybe take another look? 00:14:21.782 --> 00:14:24.618 Malcolm, you should be commended for your fraternity, 00:14:24.660 --> 00:14:26.620 but, uh, the test deserved an "F." 00:14:26.662 --> 00:14:29.081 Mr. Woodward, maybe if you just looked at it again... 00:14:29.164 --> 00:14:31.458 I can't spend a disproportionate amount of time on Reese. 00:14:31.500 --> 00:14:33.043 It's not fair to the other students. 00:14:33.085 --> 00:14:35.337 But he didn't deserve an "F" on this. 00:14:35.337 --> 00:14:37.756 Look, Malcolm, I-I've been a teacher for a long time 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:40.009 and, uh, I think I know what Reese is capable of. 00:14:40.009 --> 00:14:41.719 I really don't think you do, because... 00:14:41.760 --> 00:14:44.930 Look, you may not want to hear this about your brother, 00:14:45.014 --> 00:14:47.892 but I've known kids like Reese my whole life. 00:14:47.933 --> 00:14:48.684 They're the ones 00:14:48.726 --> 00:14:49.935 who throw water at you 00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:51.645 so it looks like you wet your pants. 00:14:51.687 --> 00:14:53.105 They aim for your legs 00:14:53.188 --> 00:14:54.106 in dodgeball, 00:14:54.189 --> 00:14:56.483 and you fall down and you break your jaw 00:14:56.525 --> 00:14:58.903 and you need to have your mouth wired shut 00:14:58.944 --> 00:15:00.779 and your teeth don't set properly. 00:15:00.821 --> 00:15:03.032 And you spend six years in orthodontia 00:15:03.073 --> 00:15:06.035 with the most painfully embarrassing headgear 00:15:06.118 --> 00:15:07.536 ever designed, 00:15:07.536 --> 00:15:14.585 which is only because they don't feel fully actualized. 00:15:14.668 --> 00:15:16.587 That guy's totally out to get you. 00:15:16.670 --> 00:15:18.881 Man! I was just using that as an excuse. 00:15:18.964 --> 00:15:21.342 He is so dead when Mom finds out! 00:15:21.383 --> 00:15:22.593 Reese, we can't bust him. 00:15:22.676 --> 00:15:24.595 If we rat him out, then Mom will know 00:15:24.678 --> 00:15:27.348 we cheated. 00:15:27.389 --> 00:15:29.433 We're doomed. 00:15:29.475 --> 00:15:31.310 KIDS (chanting): Two is after one. 00:15:31.393 --> 00:15:34.229 Three is after two. 00:15:34.271 --> 00:15:36.815 Four is after three. 00:15:36.899 --> 00:15:42.237 Something is after something 00:15:42.237 --> 00:15:44.406 and then we get to ten! 00:15:47.576 --> 00:15:49.411 Good lord! FRANCIS: Thank God you're here! 00:15:49.411 --> 00:15:51.538 I was afraid you weren't going to get my message at work. 00:15:51.580 --> 00:15:52.831 What happened to your eye...? 00:15:52.915 --> 00:15:54.541 Hey, how do you guys want your burgers? 00:15:54.583 --> 00:15:55.584 Just a sec, man. 00:15:55.626 --> 00:15:56.961 All right, so I got it all worked out. 00:15:57.002 --> 00:15:59.421 You tell Mom that you need me to repair the lawnmower, 00:15:59.463 --> 00:16:00.547 and then I hang out and I just... 00:16:00.589 --> 00:16:02.591 No, no, I-I'm just not going to do that, Francis. 00:16:02.675 --> 00:16:03.550 Hey, you guys better 00:16:03.592 --> 00:16:04.885 figure it out quick. 00:16:04.927 --> 00:16:06.804 This cheap-* trash can's melting. 00:16:06.887 --> 00:16:08.639 Well, maybe you could talk to her then? 00:16:08.722 --> 00:16:10.933 Just calm her down so that I could come home, maybe today even? 00:16:10.933 --> 00:16:13.560 Francis, you've got to stop putting me in the middle! 00:16:13.602 --> 00:16:14.937 What, you're just going to let her win this round, too?! 00:16:15.020 --> 00:16:16.105 Francis, there is nothing that I can do. 00:16:16.188 --> 00:16:17.648 You know what the problem is here? 00:16:17.731 --> 00:16:19.650 You and your mother are exactly alike! 00:16:19.733 --> 00:16:20.651 That's a lie! 00:16:20.734 --> 00:16:21.819 That is true! 00:16:21.902 --> 00:16:23.821 You're both stubborn and unwilling to bend. 00:16:23.904 --> 00:16:25.656 So, fine, you win! 00:16:25.739 --> 00:16:26.657 Congratulations! 00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:28.200 This is your prize! 00:16:28.242 --> 00:16:30.285 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go. 00:16:30.369 --> 00:16:33.122 It smells like something died in here. 00:16:35.749 --> 00:16:37.126 Your father's right, man. 00:16:37.126 --> 00:16:39.795 Sometimes you can be so stupid. 00:16:40.629 --> 00:16:42.506 Uh-oh. 00:16:44.633 --> 00:16:45.592 WOODWARD: I'm sorry. 00:16:45.634 --> 00:16:48.595 No one wanted it to turn out this way. 00:16:48.637 --> 00:16:51.181 I feel like I let Reese down. 00:16:51.223 --> 00:16:52.975 Just keep moving, Tony. 00:16:53.017 --> 00:16:55.185 So where does this leave us? 00:16:55.227 --> 00:16:59.481 I think it's best if we make the switch as soon as possible. 00:17:00.816 --> 00:17:02.192 We need to look at this 00:17:02.234 --> 00:17:03.068 as an opportunity. 00:17:03.152 --> 00:17:06.155 Big opportunity, being in the dumb class. 00:17:07.656 --> 00:17:09.158 Reese, this isn't what I wanted, 00:17:09.241 --> 00:17:11.618 but you haven't left us any choice. 00:17:14.788 --> 00:17:16.415 Mom, don't do this. 00:17:16.457 --> 00:17:17.708 It's not Reese's fault. 00:17:17.791 --> 00:17:19.418 He didn't deserve an "F" on that test. 00:17:19.460 --> 00:17:21.837 Malcolm, we've already had this discussion. 00:17:21.837 --> 00:17:23.714 I saw the test, he did a good job. 00:17:23.797 --> 00:17:24.798 He deserved a "B." 00:17:24.840 --> 00:17:26.717 This guy is totally out to get him. 00:17:26.800 --> 00:17:27.718 Malcolm... 00:17:27.801 --> 00:17:29.178 Look, I'm sorry you feel that way, 00:17:29.178 --> 00:17:31.472 but you can't blame me for Reese's shortcomings. 00:17:31.513 --> 00:17:32.806 Mom, this is the test. 00:17:32.848 --> 00:17:34.141 Take a look at this question. 00:17:34.183 --> 00:17:36.643 "What was the cause of the Great Depression?" 00:17:36.685 --> 00:17:37.811 He put down "Black Thursday." 00:17:37.853 --> 00:17:39.146 That's a correct answer. 00:17:39.188 --> 00:17:40.856 No, that's only a partial answer. 00:17:40.856 --> 00:17:42.900 To get full credit he should have included 00:17:42.941 --> 00:17:44.735 the vast overproduction in the U.S., 00:17:44.777 --> 00:17:46.945 protectionism in the foreign markets.... 00:17:47.029 --> 00:17:47.863 Overexpansion of credit 00:17:47.905 --> 00:17:49.531 and stock market speculation? 00:17:49.573 --> 00:17:50.657 Yes. That would have been 00:17:50.699 --> 00:17:51.950 a complete answer. 00:17:52.034 --> 00:17:53.660 Ha! You didn't read the answer 00:17:53.702 --> 00:17:55.662 because that's exactly what I wrote. 00:17:55.704 --> 00:17:57.706 "I" wrote? 00:17:59.041 --> 00:18:01.877 The royal "I," as in Reese. 00:18:01.919 --> 00:18:04.088 Because I think we can all identify 00:18:04.129 --> 00:18:05.881 with what he's going through. 00:18:05.923 --> 00:18:10.177 You took that test, didn't you? 00:18:11.386 --> 00:18:12.137 You cheated... 00:18:12.179 --> 00:18:14.598 You let him cheat for you? 00:18:15.891 --> 00:18:18.769 You gave something he wrote an "F"?! 00:18:20.354 --> 00:18:22.022 You are out to get him. 00:18:22.064 --> 00:18:24.191 Oh, I can't wait to see you expelled or disbarred 00:18:24.233 --> 00:18:25.526 or whatever it is they do 00:18:25.567 --> 00:18:27.945 to creepy little men who abuse their power. 00:18:28.028 --> 00:18:29.947 There is no need for name-calling. 00:18:30.030 --> 00:18:32.783 I suggest we just leave things as they are... 00:18:32.866 --> 00:18:34.076 Oh, I don't think so. 00:18:34.159 --> 00:18:36.203 WOODWARD: Here's the situation: 00:18:36.245 --> 00:18:37.412 if you notify the school, 00:18:37.412 --> 00:18:39.790 then the school will find out Malcolm cheated. 00:18:39.873 --> 00:18:41.416 He'll be expelled. 00:18:41.416 --> 00:18:43.418 Don't you threaten me. 00:18:43.418 --> 00:18:44.795 This isn't a threat. 00:18:44.878 --> 00:18:46.046 I just don't think you'd throw away 00:18:46.088 --> 00:18:48.757 the son who achieves for... 00:18:48.757 --> 00:18:50.425 well, Reese. 00:18:50.425 --> 00:18:52.928 You don't think I'd sacrifice this one? 00:18:53.929 --> 00:18:55.639 Let me explain something to you. 00:18:55.681 --> 00:18:57.516 I would sell Malcolm down the river 00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:58.767 in a heartbeat to save Reese. 00:18:58.809 --> 00:19:00.727 What? Malcolm's gonna be fine 00:19:00.769 --> 00:19:01.603 no matter what happens. 00:19:01.645 --> 00:19:02.729 Maybe he'll have to go 00:19:02.771 --> 00:19:04.648 to junior college or start off blue collar, 00:19:04.690 --> 00:19:06.733 but he'll work his way up to management eventually. 00:19:06.775 --> 00:19:08.193 Reese is the one who needs saving. 00:19:09.778 --> 00:19:11.780 I don't believe you. 00:19:12.865 --> 00:19:16.994 No mother could ever be that callous to her own son. 00:19:19.788 --> 00:19:21.748 Mom, please let me come home! 00:19:21.790 --> 00:19:24.626 I'm cold and I'm hungry! 00:19:24.710 --> 00:19:26.170 Please, I'll fix the roof! 00:19:26.211 --> 00:19:29.631 I'll paint the house, I'll do anything, Mom! 00:19:29.715 --> 00:19:31.800 Please, just let me live indoors, Mom! 00:19:31.884 --> 00:19:33.719 Please, I want to be warm again! 00:19:33.760 --> 00:19:35.262 Mom, please! 00:19:37.723 --> 00:19:40.601 Maybe we can work something out. 00:19:42.895 --> 00:19:44.646 There you go, Tony. 00:19:44.730 --> 00:19:45.939 Night-night. 00:19:46.773 --> 00:19:47.983 Dewey, what in the...? 00:19:49.193 --> 00:19:50.777 Run, Tony, Run! 00:19:52.112 --> 00:19:55.032 Why are they always named Tony? 00:19:55.115 --> 00:19:56.617 Bye, Tony. 00:19:56.658 --> 00:19:59.786 I love you. 00:20:09.338 --> 00:20:11.256 Yeah, it's cold, filthy and dangerous, 00:20:11.298 --> 00:20:12.633 but I say we got off easy. 00:20:12.674 --> 00:20:15.260 If we all pitch in, we should be done in a week. 00:20:15.302 --> 00:20:17.262 Hey, hurry up. 00:20:17.304 --> 00:20:18.472 I'm trying. 00:20:18.513 --> 00:20:21.141 I've got tar in my eyes.