WEBVTT 00:00:14.101 --> 00:00:15.493 Where's the bread? 00:00:15.537 --> 00:00:18.148 Uh, it's in the freezer where it belongs. 00:00:19.106 --> 00:00:22.370 You... So we have to defrost it every time we make Sam lunch? 00:00:22.413 --> 00:00:24.763 No, you just have to raise him not to be so soft 00:00:24.807 --> 00:00:27.027 that he can't eat an ice-cold sandwich. 00:00:28.593 --> 00:00:31.553 - Why is there packing tape on my salon shears? - Oh, 00:00:31.596 --> 00:00:33.555 I must have opened an Amazon package with them. 00:00:33.598 --> 00:00:35.818 I got a fresh batch of underpants. 00:00:36.862 --> 00:00:39.343 Helen, these aren't regular scissors. 00:00:39.387 --> 00:00:41.128 They're, like, $100 each. 00:00:41.171 --> 00:00:43.130 Oh, well, you shouldn't leave them out, then. 00:00:43.173 --> 00:00:44.609 That's on you. 00:00:46.220 --> 00:00:47.743 My mistake. 00:00:47.786 --> 00:00:50.093 Uh, hey, you know, would you mind, uh, going upstairs 00:00:50.137 --> 00:00:52.400 and helping Sam getting ready for school? 00:00:52.443 --> 00:00:54.141 I am on it. Boy, I don't know 00:00:54.184 --> 00:00:56.969 how you guys survived without me. 00:00:57.970 --> 00:00:59.407 So, 00:00:59.450 --> 00:01:01.409 her living here is a lot. 00:01:01.452 --> 00:01:03.063 - I need a little space. Okay. - Mm-hmm. 00:01:03.106 --> 00:01:06.153 Yesterday she read me an article about hard water 00:01:06.196 --> 00:01:07.676 while I was in the shower. 00:01:07.719 --> 00:01:09.504 And I'm pretty sure she was on the toilet. 00:01:10.505 --> 00:01:11.767 I feel bad. 00:01:11.810 --> 00:01:13.508 Archie's been working me so hard at the alley, 00:01:13.551 --> 00:01:15.727 you've been stuck here with her all day. 00:01:15.771 --> 00:01:16.859 Which, of course, 00:01:16.902 --> 00:01:19.383 you know because you've been stuck here with her all day. 00:01:20.384 --> 00:01:23.692 I just wish she had more of a social life or something. 00:01:23.735 --> 00:01:25.346 Just a few hours away from the house. 00:01:25.389 --> 00:01:27.043 A hobby. Book club. 00:01:27.087 --> 00:01:28.697 Yeah. Or she could just drive somewhere 00:01:28.740 --> 00:01:30.786 and be there for a while. 00:01:30.829 --> 00:01:34.964 - Somewhere nice. - Yeah, of course. Real nice. But also far. 00:01:48.543 --> 00:01:51.154 Carl, what are you doing? This is my lane. 00:01:51.198 --> 00:01:53.156 Not today. Got you set up right next door. 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:54.331 But this is my lane. 00:01:55.332 --> 00:01:57.856 You can't put your favorite lane in your pocket 00:01:57.900 --> 00:01:58.988 and take it with you on tour. 00:01:59.031 --> 00:02:00.511 You got to be prepared for anything. 00:02:00.555 --> 00:02:02.209 - Got it. - Now focus up. 00:02:02.252 --> 00:02:04.167 I laid a new oil pattern on this lane. 00:02:04.211 --> 00:02:05.386 We're gonna be working on it all week. 00:02:05.429 --> 00:02:07.214 What? Forget all that stuff, man. 00:02:07.257 --> 00:02:09.216 These oil patterns won't make you a star, 00:02:09.259 --> 00:02:12.175 - but those acting classes I emailed you about will. - Lew, 00:02:12.219 --> 00:02:14.134 I'm not taking an online acting class 00:02:14.177 --> 00:02:16.484 from your friend who was on Wheel of Fortune. 00:02:17.920 --> 00:02:20.052 - Ain't you on the clock right now? - Yep. 00:02:21.445 --> 00:02:23.012 Right, right. 00:02:25.971 --> 00:02:28.322 Look, you had a great first tournament. 00:02:28.365 --> 00:02:31.238 All right? But there's still a lot of work to do. 00:02:31.281 --> 00:02:32.891 You got to finish higher than 26th 00:02:32.935 --> 00:02:34.676 if you want to qualify for the PBA Championship. 00:02:34.719 --> 00:02:35.938 Okay, got it. 00:02:35.981 --> 00:02:38.854 Now, the oil pattern I laid here is really tough. 00:02:38.897 --> 00:02:40.769 It's called the Cheetah pattern. 00:02:40.812 --> 00:02:42.162 Why is it called the Cheetah pattern? 00:02:42.205 --> 00:02:44.468 'Cause the guy who came up with it, 00:02:44.512 --> 00:02:47.167 his name is Cheetah... uh, Cheetah Jones. 00:02:49.212 --> 00:02:51.388 Arch, if you don't know something, 00:02:51.432 --> 00:02:53.303 you don't have to make it up to impress me. 00:02:53.347 --> 00:02:55.392 - Cool name, though, right? - Yeah. 00:03:00.658 --> 00:03:02.747 Well, why'd you set her up there? 00:03:02.791 --> 00:03:05.141 You could've put her closer to the window. 00:03:05.185 --> 00:03:08.057 Do you want to be closer to the window?! 00:03:09.711 --> 00:03:12.279 Okay. Eleanor and I were just chatting 00:03:12.322 --> 00:03:14.368 about this water aerobics class 00:03:14.411 --> 00:03:15.804 - that she's taking. - Mm. 00:03:15.847 --> 00:03:17.501 Look, she loves it, 00:03:17.545 --> 00:03:19.286 and apparently the chlorine tightens her knee skin. 00:03:19.329 --> 00:03:22.158 I have the shins of a 50-year-old. 00:03:23.072 --> 00:03:26.249 If I wanted to watch a bunch of cadavers tread water, 00:03:26.293 --> 00:03:28.686 I'd turn on Titanic. 00:03:28.730 --> 00:03:31.080 No offense! 00:03:32.603 --> 00:03:35.998 You know, I was just thinking it-it might be fun for you. 00:03:36.041 --> 00:03:38.000 You know, take some time for yourself? 00:03:38.043 --> 00:03:39.175 She's right. 00:03:39.219 --> 00:03:40.872 I mean, Helen, have you ever... 00:03:40.916 --> 00:03:43.571 thought about dipping your toe in the dating pool again? 00:03:43.614 --> 00:03:46.487 No. There's more diseases in that pool 00:03:46.530 --> 00:03:48.010 than the one that this old lady's 00:03:48.053 --> 00:03:49.577 been floating around in. 00:03:51.579 --> 00:03:54.321 Come on, Helen. There's got to be someone out there 00:03:54.364 --> 00:03:58.194 who's caught your eye. At church or at the post office? 00:03:58.238 --> 00:04:00.022 What about that guy at the hardware store 00:04:00.065 --> 00:04:02.111 that gives you free screws and makes dirty jokes about it? 00:04:02.154 --> 00:04:03.460 - Frank? - Mm-hmm. 00:04:03.504 --> 00:04:06.594 The only thing filthier than his mind is his fingernails. 00:04:10.380 --> 00:04:11.860 But... 00:04:11.903 --> 00:04:13.644 Ooh, there's a "but"? 00:04:13.688 --> 00:04:15.864 - Forget it. - Oh. 00:04:15.907 --> 00:04:17.735 Come on. Helen, what is it? 00:04:17.779 --> 00:04:20.042 It's nothing. It's just there... 00:04:20.085 --> 00:04:23.045 there was a guy who asked me out a while back. 00:04:23.088 --> 00:04:25.700 You should go for it. Call him. 00:04:25.743 --> 00:04:27.223 How nice would it be for you 00:04:27.267 --> 00:04:29.356 to just be out of the house for one night? 00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:31.053 Oh! Shoot. 00:04:31.096 --> 00:04:33.360 Um, I'm gonna go get another towel, okay? 00:04:33.403 --> 00:04:34.796 Call him. 00:04:36.101 --> 00:04:37.886 You don't need a man. 00:04:37.929 --> 00:04:40.018 After Milton died, I got a ferret, 00:04:40.062 --> 00:04:42.151 and I'm doing just fine. 00:04:43.805 --> 00:04:46.851 My God. Haven't we been through enough? 00:04:52.074 --> 00:04:53.597 This pattern's too fast. 00:04:53.641 --> 00:04:55.338 My ball is breaking late. 00:04:55.382 --> 00:04:57.340 I'm telling you, you got to get your release point wh... 00:04:58.298 --> 00:05:00.256 Yes. 00:05:00.300 --> 00:05:01.301 Yes what, woman? 00:05:02.302 --> 00:05:05.043 You asked me out on a date. 00:05:06.697 --> 00:05:09.265 That was ten years ago. 00:05:09.309 --> 00:05:11.354 Well, I thought about it, 00:05:11.398 --> 00:05:13.313 and the answer is yes. 00:05:13.356 --> 00:05:15.358 Keep your elbow in, Tommy. 00:05:19.144 --> 00:05:21.103 What the hell was that? 00:05:21.146 --> 00:05:23.562 - You asked my mom out? - No. 00:05:24.106 --> 00:05:26.717 I mean, technically, yes. 00:05:26.761 --> 00:05:29.764 But it was so long ago, I-I forgot it ever happened. 00:05:29.807 --> 00:05:31.243 Wait, so how did it happen? 00:05:31.287 --> 00:05:33.028 Was it like the beginning of a rom-com? 00:05:33.071 --> 00:05:34.769 Did somebody drop something? Did somebody pick something up? 00:05:34.812 --> 00:05:36.336 Wait, did you have to chase a train? 00:05:36.379 --> 00:05:37.946 God, I love a good love story. 00:05:37.989 --> 00:05:39.426 It wasn't no love story. 00:05:39.469 --> 00:05:40.818 Look, 00:05:40.862 --> 00:05:42.429 she came in here one night, and I got a vibe, 00:05:42.472 --> 00:05:43.952 so I asked her out. 00:05:43.995 --> 00:05:45.780 But she left without even giving me an answer. 00:05:45.823 --> 00:05:47.172 That's why I never told you. 00:05:47.216 --> 00:05:50.611 Okay, fine. Let's just move on. 00:05:50.654 --> 00:05:51.829 Focus on the bowling. 00:05:51.873 --> 00:05:53.440 Man, listen, if it bothers you, 00:05:53.483 --> 00:05:55.442 - I won't... - No, it's fine. Really. 00:05:55.485 --> 00:05:56.878 It's... I'm okay. 00:06:02.449 --> 00:06:04.276 You got a vibe from my mom? 00:06:05.277 --> 00:06:07.715 A vibe? How do you know she wasn't just hungry? 00:06:07.758 --> 00:06:11.283 Sometimes, when she's hungry, she gives out mixed signals. 00:06:11.327 --> 00:06:14.809 Okay, so it does bother you. Fine. 00:06:14.852 --> 00:06:16.811 So I just tell her I'm not interested. 00:06:16.854 --> 00:06:19.074 You can't do that. Then she'll feel rejected. 00:06:19.117 --> 00:06:20.162 All right, then. 00:06:20.205 --> 00:06:21.816 I guess I'll give her a call. 00:06:21.859 --> 00:06:24.384 Well, well, only call her if you really want to. 00:06:24.427 --> 00:06:25.950 Oh, no, I want to. 00:06:25.994 --> 00:06:28.475 I mean, that woman's like a Pontiac Aztek. 00:06:28.518 --> 00:06:30.433 They don't make them like that anymore. 00:06:32.566 --> 00:06:35.743 - But, listen, if you're not cool with it, I... - No, it's fine. 00:06:35.786 --> 00:06:37.571 You're calling her. 00:06:37.614 --> 00:06:39.268 You sure you're good? 00:06:40.269 --> 00:06:41.575 I'm good. 00:06:41.618 --> 00:06:43.228 Gonna bowl now. 00:06:43.272 --> 00:06:44.969 Don't get a vibe. 00:06:46.318 --> 00:06:48.190 Hey. 00:06:48.233 --> 00:06:50.148 My T-ball coach boned my mom. 00:06:50.192 --> 00:06:51.672 I turned out all right. 00:06:51.715 --> 00:06:53.413 No, you didn't. 00:06:57.895 --> 00:07:00.550 - Hey, honey. How was practice? - Not great. 00:07:00.594 --> 00:07:02.291 Did you talk to my mom? 00:07:02.334 --> 00:07:07.209 Yes. I talked her into going on a date. 00:07:07.252 --> 00:07:08.689 Not in our house. 00:07:08.732 --> 00:07:10.604 She's at Walmart right now buying a dress. 00:07:10.647 --> 00:07:13.781 Not in our house. Go, me. Right? 00:07:13.824 --> 00:07:15.739 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, you. 00:07:15.783 --> 00:07:18.307 - Did she tell you who she's going on the date with? - Uh-uh. 00:07:18.350 --> 00:07:20.222 - Archie. - What? 00:07:20.265 --> 00:07:23.399 Wow. That's cute. Right? 00:07:23.443 --> 00:07:25.096 Wait, no, bad? Awkward? 00:07:25.140 --> 00:07:26.533 I've had a long day. 00:07:26.576 --> 00:07:27.838 Can you just tell me how we feel? 00:07:28.839 --> 00:07:30.798 We feel weird. 00:07:30.841 --> 00:07:32.321 We feel confused. 00:07:32.364 --> 00:07:34.018 We drove home listening to jazz. 00:07:34.062 --> 00:07:36.978 We didn't even realize we were listening to jazz. 00:07:37.021 --> 00:07:38.414 Honey. 00:07:38.458 --> 00:07:41.243 She's going on a date with Archie. 00:07:41.286 --> 00:07:44.202 Why couldn't it be the mailman or that waiter at Red Lobster 00:07:44.246 --> 00:07:45.769 that gives her the free Wet-Naps? 00:07:45.813 --> 00:07:47.815 I'm pretty sure those are free for everybody. 00:07:47.858 --> 00:07:49.381 Yeah. For a woman who tips six percent, 00:07:49.425 --> 00:07:51.514 she gets a lotof free Wet-Naps. 00:07:52.559 --> 00:07:54.561 And the best part about that guy? 00:07:54.604 --> 00:07:56.563 He's not Archie. 00:07:56.606 --> 00:07:59.522 Look, I know that this is uncomfortable for you, 00:07:59.566 --> 00:08:01.568 but this is the first time she's put herself out there 00:08:01.611 --> 00:08:03.091 since your dad died, isn't it? 00:08:03.134 --> 00:08:05.267 It's not about that. This is about Archie. 00:08:05.310 --> 00:08:08.270 He shouldn't be swooping in and dating my mom. 00:08:08.313 --> 00:08:09.663 He should be coaching me. 00:08:09.706 --> 00:08:12.448 - It'll be fine. It is one date. - Oh, for now. 00:08:12.492 --> 00:08:13.754 They haven't even gone on the date. 00:08:13.797 --> 00:08:15.103 It's already a distraction. 00:08:15.146 --> 00:08:16.539 We couldn't crack one oil pattern 00:08:16.583 --> 00:08:17.780 because he was all over the place. 00:08:17.923 --> 00:08:20.064 - Tom. - Okay, maybe I was all over the place. 00:08:20.108 --> 00:08:22.284 But the point is, it's a distraction. 00:08:22.327 --> 00:08:25.113 - What if they date for a month or... or a year? - I... 00:08:25.156 --> 00:08:27.289 What if they break up the week of a big PBA Championship? 00:08:27.332 --> 00:08:30.161 I mean, have you even stopped to think about that? 00:08:30.205 --> 00:08:31.598 Ugh! 00:08:31.641 --> 00:08:33.425 This is not how I wanted to spend 00:08:33.469 --> 00:08:35.166 my "your mom's at Walmart" time. 00:08:38.518 --> 00:08:41.433 Wow, those new dryer sheets really worked. 00:08:41.477 --> 00:08:42.783 I always thought I was an Ocean Breeze gal. 00:08:42.826 --> 00:08:44.219 Where do you think they're going? 00:08:45.742 --> 00:08:47.178 Better not be fancy. 00:08:47.222 --> 00:08:48.571 If there aren't pictures of the food on the menu, 00:08:48.615 --> 00:08:50.225 she's gonna ask what they're hiding. 00:08:50.268 --> 00:08:53.620 That's what dating's all about, trying new things. 00:08:53.663 --> 00:08:55.230 Knock, knock. 00:08:55.273 --> 00:08:56.536 What do you think? 00:08:59.277 --> 00:09:02.237 Be honest. I tell you when you look terrible. 00:09:03.978 --> 00:09:05.806 Wow. 00:09:05.849 --> 00:09:07.198 Really? 00:09:07.242 --> 00:09:10.680 It's from the Sofia Vergara collection. 00:09:10.724 --> 00:09:13.291 Feel like I can speak Spanish. 00:09:14.336 --> 00:09:16.338 - What do you think, Tommy? - I don't know, Ma. 00:09:16.381 --> 00:09:17.731 Aren't you always the one that says 00:09:17.774 --> 00:09:19.950 dresses are for princesses and prostitutes? 00:09:22.736 --> 00:09:24.694 You look good, Ma. 00:09:24.738 --> 00:09:27.175 Are you sure? I mean, I don't even know where we're going. 00:09:27.218 --> 00:09:28.393 Maybe it's too much. 00:09:28.437 --> 00:09:29.786 Does it make me look sweaty? 00:09:29.830 --> 00:09:32.354 'Cause I'm feeling really clammy right now. 00:09:32.397 --> 00:09:34.835 If this is how you feel, why are you even doing this? 00:09:34.878 --> 00:09:36.619 'Cause I don't want to end up alone. 00:09:36.663 --> 00:09:39.230 Tightening my knee skin in some dirty pool 00:09:39.274 --> 00:09:41.319 to impress my ferret. 00:09:42.625 --> 00:09:46.107 Mom, if you're nervous, you could always cancel. 00:09:46.150 --> 00:09:47.804 Do you think I should? 00:09:47.848 --> 00:09:49.719 You don't have anything to be nervous about, Helen. 00:09:49.763 --> 00:09:52.374 You look amazing. And besides, clammy is in now. 00:09:52.417 --> 00:09:53.810 We call it glowy. 00:09:53.854 --> 00:09:56.160 Well, in that case, I've got a glow line 00:09:56.204 --> 00:09:59.642 from the back of my neck down to my * crack. 00:09:59.686 --> 00:10:02.427 You're nervous because you're excited. 00:10:02.471 --> 00:10:04.081 If there's anything we can do 00:10:04.125 --> 00:10:05.430 to make you feel more comfortable, 00:10:05.474 --> 00:10:07.084 we'll do it. I'll-I'll help you get ready. 00:10:07.128 --> 00:10:09.783 We'd even go on the date with you if we could. 00:10:09.826 --> 00:10:11.393 I want that. 00:10:11.436 --> 00:10:13.134 What? 00:10:13.177 --> 00:10:15.223 A double date. I like that. I want that. 00:10:15.266 --> 00:10:16.485 I'll tell Archie. 00:10:17.747 --> 00:10:19.140 Ma... 00:10:20.924 --> 00:10:24.449 What did you do? 00:10:29.454 --> 00:10:31.500 Thanks for agreeing to watch him last-minute, Lew. 00:10:31.543 --> 00:10:33.067 Oh, man, no problem. 00:10:34.503 --> 00:10:36.461 Oh! 00:10:36.505 --> 00:10:40.596 Look out, Salt-N-Pepa. There's some new queens in town. 00:10:40.640 --> 00:10:43.033 "New"? What is he talking about? 00:10:43.077 --> 00:10:45.122 I've lived here 50 years. 00:10:45.166 --> 00:10:48.691 - Helen, it was a compliment. - Oh. Thanks. 00:10:50.301 --> 00:10:52.913 Lew, just remember, 9:00 p.m. bedtime. 00:10:52.956 --> 00:10:54.479 Oh, crap. 00:10:54.523 --> 00:10:56.090 I... I forgot I'm supposed to bake brownies 00:10:56.133 --> 00:10:58.440 for Sam's bake sale tomorrow. Lew, can you do me a huge favor? 00:10:58.483 --> 00:11:00.834 - There's a box... - Shh, shh, shh. You had me at "brownies." 00:11:00.877 --> 00:11:03.619 Don't Jerry Maguire my wife. 00:11:17.241 --> 00:11:18.852 Hey, Arch. 00:11:18.895 --> 00:11:20.375 What do you say we talk about the Cheetah pattern? 00:11:20.418 --> 00:11:21.681 I-I was thinking about it. My grip 00:11:21.724 --> 00:11:22.986 might be the key to the whole thing. 00:11:23.030 --> 00:11:24.988 - Can we not talk about bowling? - Can we... ? 00:11:25.032 --> 00:11:27.251 This is what we do, Ma. I-I sit with Archie. 00:11:27.295 --> 00:11:29.558 We talk about bowling. It's important, right? I mean... 00:11:29.601 --> 00:11:31.038 She's right, Tom. 00:11:31.081 --> 00:11:34.389 We don't have to talk about bowling all the time. 00:11:34.432 --> 00:11:36.217 Come on, live a little. 00:11:38.175 --> 00:11:40.612 Yeah, just gambled my family's future on it, 00:11:40.656 --> 00:11:43.093 but, yeah, let's see what they have for appetizers. 00:11:44.312 --> 00:11:46.401 - Can I get you something to drink? - Uh, 00:11:46.444 --> 00:11:48.403 just a round of waters, I think. We're not drinking tonight. 00:11:48.446 --> 00:11:50.057 - We're not? - Oh, no. 00:11:50.100 --> 00:11:52.233 Archie and I have an early morning. Big day of practice. 00:11:52.276 --> 00:11:53.582 I'll have a glass of wine. 00:11:53.625 --> 00:11:54.931 Make that two. 00:11:54.975 --> 00:11:56.585 You never drink wine. 00:11:56.628 --> 00:11:58.152 I'm just making an observation. 00:11:58.195 --> 00:12:00.284 She never drinks wine. The table is here. 00:12:00.328 --> 00:12:03.200 The candle's hot. You're pinching my leg. 00:12:06.029 --> 00:12:08.118 I'll get those waters started. 00:12:10.120 --> 00:12:13.297 So, what's everyone ordering? 00:12:13.341 --> 00:12:15.996 - Well, the steak sounds exquisite. - Mmm. 00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:17.780 Since when do you say "exquisite"? 00:12:17.824 --> 00:12:19.521 I say it all the time. 00:12:19.564 --> 00:12:22.132 As in, "Why don't you mind your exquisite business?" 00:12:24.569 --> 00:12:26.397 Sorry. 00:12:26.441 --> 00:12:28.095 It's Lew. I'll get it later. 00:12:28.138 --> 00:12:29.357 He's watching our kid. 00:12:29.400 --> 00:12:30.837 I'll get it now. 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:35.363 - What's up, man? - Hey, Tom. 00:12:35.406 --> 00:12:37.626 - Do you have a hand sifter? - What? 00:12:37.669 --> 00:12:38.932 I don't know what that is. 00:12:38.975 --> 00:12:40.672 I don't know what I have anymore, Lew. 00:12:40.716 --> 00:12:43.153 I don't know what's going on. I don't know anything! 00:12:45.199 --> 00:12:47.897 I don't think that was about me. 00:12:50.204 --> 00:12:52.075 Okay. 00:12:52.119 --> 00:12:55.470 So, the tiramisu will have no espresso powder. 00:12:55.513 --> 00:12:58.125 Eh, it's not a big deal, Sam. 00:12:58.168 --> 00:12:59.822 This is awesome. 00:12:59.866 --> 00:13:02.216 - You should be a chef. - Ah. Well, in my house, 00:13:02.259 --> 00:13:04.348 we didn't have money for me to go to culinary school, 00:13:04.392 --> 00:13:06.916 so now I just do it for fun. 00:13:06.960 --> 00:13:09.179 But maybe someday. 00:13:09.223 --> 00:13:12.095 So, which one of these am I taking to the bake sale? 00:13:12.139 --> 00:13:14.271 Ah. I was thinking we could cut up 00:13:14.315 --> 00:13:16.099 this coconut, passion fruit tart, 00:13:16.143 --> 00:13:19.762 and you could serve them as a little amuse-bouche. 00:13:21.322 --> 00:13:23.890 I have enough nicknames already. 00:13:25.892 --> 00:13:29.460 Well, it's a good thing we didn't go with the peanut butter balls. 00:13:31.071 --> 00:13:32.637 So, finally, I said, 00:13:32.681 --> 00:13:35.075 "Please don't tell me your life story. 00:13:35.118 --> 00:13:36.816 Just fill my damn prescription." 00:13:39.383 --> 00:13:42.212 Oh, yeah, they don't make pharmacists like they used to. 00:13:42.256 --> 00:13:44.954 I know. 00:13:44.998 --> 00:13:47.739 I don't think I get it. 00:13:48.740 --> 00:13:51.831 Well, I guess that makes it an inside joke. 00:13:53.702 --> 00:13:55.660 So, what do you think? Uh, is this, uh, 00:13:55.704 --> 00:13:57.488 heading towards a second date, 00:13:57.532 --> 00:13:58.881 or you think it's one and done? 00:13:58.925 --> 00:14:00.317 They haven't even gotten their food yet, Tom. 00:14:00.361 --> 00:14:01.841 I just want to know if this is something 00:14:01.884 --> 00:14:03.886 - we have to get used to. - Okay. You know what? 00:14:03.930 --> 00:14:06.149 We have to go home. I just remembered 00:14:06.193 --> 00:14:08.325 - we have leftovers in the fridge. - No, we don't. 00:14:08.369 --> 00:14:09.849 Why are you lying? 00:14:09.892 --> 00:14:12.982 I'm thinking they might want to be alone. 00:14:13.026 --> 00:14:14.157 Why would you think that? 00:14:14.201 --> 00:14:15.419 We want to be alone. 00:14:16.768 --> 00:14:18.118 How do you know she's not just saying that 00:14:18.161 --> 00:14:19.249 to make Archie feel good? 00:14:19.293 --> 00:14:20.337 She's not. 00:14:20.381 --> 00:14:22.992 Okay. It's time to go, Tom. 00:14:23.036 --> 00:14:24.689 - You two have a good night. - What? 00:14:24.733 --> 00:14:26.169 I... Honey, 00:14:26.213 --> 00:14:27.562 I ordered the soup of the day. 00:14:27.605 --> 00:14:29.912 If we leave now, I'll never know what it was. 00:14:32.219 --> 00:14:34.743 I hate it when people bring children to a restaurant. 00:14:39.052 --> 00:14:40.923 Can you believe she asked us to leave? 00:14:40.967 --> 00:14:43.708 It was her idea that we come, and then she asks us to leave? 00:14:43.752 --> 00:14:46.233 She was having a good time. You were making it weird. 00:14:46.276 --> 00:14:48.713 Everybody was acting different. Ordering wine. 00:14:48.757 --> 00:14:50.324 Archie was wearing cologne. 00:14:50.367 --> 00:14:53.936 I swear my mom smelled him and went, "Mmm, mmm." 00:14:55.633 --> 00:14:57.853 So, Archie smelled good, and it's been a long time 00:14:57.897 --> 00:15:00.029 since your mom "Mmm, mmm-ed" a guy. 00:15:00.073 --> 00:15:02.379 Two of the grumpiest people I know 00:15:02.423 --> 00:15:04.816 - couldn't stop smiling all night. - I know. 00:15:04.860 --> 00:15:07.689 It was adorable. I've never seen that twinkle in your mom's eye. 00:15:07.732 --> 00:15:09.996 I have, and the last time she had it, 00:15:10.039 --> 00:15:11.475 it wasn't with Archie. 00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:12.737 It was with my dad. 00:15:12.781 --> 00:15:14.478 So this is about your dad. 00:15:14.522 --> 00:15:16.393 I don't want to talk about my dad. 00:15:16.437 --> 00:15:18.091 You never want to talk about your dad. 00:15:18.134 --> 00:15:20.397 The only thing I know about him is that he loved 00:15:20.441 --> 00:15:22.269 to take you fishing, he brought you to the Grand Canyon once, 00:15:22.312 --> 00:15:24.488 and he cried when he met Dale Earnhardt. 00:15:25.968 --> 00:15:27.970 This isn't about my dad... this is about Archie. 00:15:28.014 --> 00:15:29.972 - How could he do this to me? - Do what? Have a good time? 00:15:30.016 --> 00:15:32.061 Archie was my dad's best friend, right? 00:15:32.105 --> 00:15:34.411 Well... wow. 00:15:34.455 --> 00:15:36.283 You never told me that. 00:15:36.326 --> 00:15:38.807 He was supposed to watch over us after my dad died. 00:15:38.850 --> 00:15:40.417 Not swoop in and start 00:15:40.461 --> 00:15:42.419 dating my mom right after it happened. 00:15:42.463 --> 00:15:44.334 Your dad died 20 years ago. 00:15:44.378 --> 00:15:45.857 He's a procrastinator. 00:15:47.381 --> 00:15:49.078 Look... 00:15:49.122 --> 00:15:50.732 I get why this bothers you now. 00:15:50.775 --> 00:15:52.429 But I really don't think your mom would have done it 00:15:52.473 --> 00:15:54.083 if she thought there was anything wrong with it. 00:15:54.127 --> 00:15:55.780 I know. 00:15:55.824 --> 00:15:58.348 And Archie has been watching over you guys. 00:15:58.392 --> 00:16:00.350 You know that. 00:16:00.394 --> 00:16:02.700 There is a reason he was the first person she thought of 00:16:02.744 --> 00:16:05.094 when I asked if there was anyone she had her eye on. 00:16:05.138 --> 00:16:08.141 Seems like your dad had a pretty great best friend. 00:16:09.664 --> 00:16:11.361 You're right. 00:16:11.405 --> 00:16:13.929 It's just happening fast. 00:16:13.973 --> 00:16:16.627 I think it's catching me off-guard a bit. 00:16:16.671 --> 00:16:18.586 I get it. 00:16:18.629 --> 00:16:20.022 It's okay. 00:16:21.023 --> 00:16:22.982 It was nice to see my mom all... 00:16:23.025 --> 00:16:25.723 dolled up like a guest preacher was in town. 00:16:27.334 --> 00:16:29.553 - Having a good time. - It was. 00:16:30.990 --> 00:16:34.863 I just hope your best friend does the same for me after you die. 00:16:34.906 --> 00:16:36.996 Joke's on you. 00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:38.736 You're my best friend. 00:16:41.957 --> 00:16:43.524 See, this is me waiting for you to say, 00:16:43.567 --> 00:16:45.569 "You're my best friend, Tom." 00:16:48.310 --> 00:16:49.963 Thank you for walking me to the door. 00:16:50.007 --> 00:16:51.617 That's very gentlemanly of you. 00:16:51.661 --> 00:16:53.793 Gentleman is my middle name, you know? 00:16:53.837 --> 00:16:55.708 No, it's not. 00:16:56.970 --> 00:16:58.363 Would you... 00:17:00.191 --> 00:17:01.671 like to come in for some coffee? 00:17:01.714 --> 00:17:03.194 And that's it? 00:17:04.717 --> 00:17:06.415 Hey, guys. 00:17:06.458 --> 00:17:08.068 No, I think I should go. 00:17:08.112 --> 00:17:09.548 Come on, Archie. 00:17:09.592 --> 00:17:10.984 Come in the kitchen and have some coffee. 00:17:11.028 --> 00:17:12.725 - That's all right, Tom, I... - Arch, come on. 00:17:12.769 --> 00:17:14.031 Come in the kitchen. 00:17:14.074 --> 00:17:16.207 Have some coffee with my mom. 00:17:17.339 --> 00:17:18.644 He's such a control freak. 00:17:18.688 --> 00:17:20.733 I don't know where he gets it. 00:17:25.129 --> 00:17:26.696 Whoa, Tommy. 00:17:26.739 --> 00:17:29.263 What is all of this? 00:17:29.307 --> 00:17:31.353 Well, I may have ruined your first date, but... 00:17:31.396 --> 00:17:33.355 I wanted to make sure you guys had a great second date. 00:17:34.921 --> 00:17:36.140 This is so fancy. 00:17:36.183 --> 00:17:37.576 It's like one of those restaurants 00:17:37.620 --> 00:17:39.796 where they won't sing to you on your birthday. 00:17:42.668 --> 00:17:44.191 This is a real nice thing you did, Tom. 00:17:44.235 --> 00:17:46.368 Thought about it, Arch. 00:17:46.411 --> 00:17:48.021 My mom's gonna date somebody. 00:17:48.065 --> 00:17:49.936 I'm really glad it's you. 00:17:51.068 --> 00:17:53.418 I'll leave you guys alone. 00:17:53.462 --> 00:17:55.594 Where'd all these desserts come from? 00:17:55.638 --> 00:17:57.117 I have no idea. 00:17:57.161 --> 00:17:58.510 They were in the fridge when we got home. 00:17:58.554 --> 00:18:00.469 Enjoy. 00:18:02.732 --> 00:18:04.429 I'll be right back. 00:18:05.517 --> 00:18:07.519 Tommy. 00:18:10.653 --> 00:18:12.698 Thanks. 00:18:12.742 --> 00:18:14.961 Have fun, Ma. 00:18:24.754 --> 00:18:26.799 We're not actually gonna eat any of this, are we? 00:18:26.843 --> 00:18:28.235 Oh! 00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:29.933 God, no! It's 9:30. 00:18:29.976 --> 00:18:31.456 I got to get to bed. 00:18:31.500 --> 00:18:33.545 Me, too. 00:18:34.546 --> 00:18:36.635 I only said yes to the coffee to be polite. 00:18:36.679 --> 00:18:38.898 I just asked you to be polite. 00:18:40.509 --> 00:18:41.901 All right, Helen, I'll see you around. 00:18:41.945 --> 00:18:43.903 All right, thanks, Arch. 00:18:43.947 --> 00:18:46.253 Um, you know... 00:18:46.297 --> 00:18:49.169 I've been known to pick up a bear claw 00:18:49.213 --> 00:18:52.042 at, uh, Mr. Donut some mornings. 00:18:52.085 --> 00:18:55.001 I could pick up two tomorrow. 00:18:56.394 --> 00:18:58.004 If you're asking me out on another date, 00:18:58.048 --> 00:19:00.529 I'm gonna need a few years to think about it. 00:19:02.618 --> 00:19:05.011 Make mine a maple bar. 00:19:12.018 --> 00:19:13.933 Well, you've finally conquered the Cheetah pattern. 00:19:13.977 --> 00:19:16.022 - Congratulations. - Couldn't have done it without you. 00:19:16.066 --> 00:19:17.502 - And, hey, Arch. - Hmm? 00:19:17.546 --> 00:19:20.113 If you hurt my mom, I'm gonna kill you. 00:19:22.028 --> 00:19:24.857 I'm just kidding. But she'll kill you. 00:19:26.206 --> 00:19:28.513 In the woods, bow and arrow. 00:19:28.557 --> 00:19:29.819 You'll never hear her coming. 00:19:31.821 --> 00:19:33.170 Celebrate with some curly fries? 00:19:34.127 --> 00:19:36.129 Mm-mm, no, not today. 00:19:36.173 --> 00:19:38.654 I made roasted bone marrow and parsley salad, 00:19:38.697 --> 00:19:41.526 braised short ribs with a red wine reduction, 00:19:41.570 --> 00:19:44.486 and a Concord grape and honeydew torte for dessert. 00:19:44.529 --> 00:19:45.791 It's a tasting menu. 00:19:45.835 --> 00:19:49.099 Well, damn, Lew, this is some fine cuisine. 00:19:49.142 --> 00:19:51.667 This is the kind of stuff we need to be serving here. 00:19:51.710 --> 00:19:53.625 Set us apart from all the rest of those dumps. 00:19:53.669 --> 00:19:54.887 Great. 00:19:54.931 --> 00:19:57.107 Mm, oh, how much would it cost 00:19:57.150 --> 00:19:58.978 to, uh, put this stuff on the menu? 00:19:59.022 --> 00:20:00.545 About $140 per person. 00:20:00.589 --> 00:20:02.765 Boy, what in the blue hell are you thinking?! 00:20:04.201 --> 00:20:05.942 All right, let's stick with dump.