WEBVTT

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This show never disappoints!

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Oh, whoo!
It's the funniest thing on TV!

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REPORTER: And that does it
for our 6:00 news.

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Amy, you're not
gonna believe this!

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Were you laughing
at other people's misfortune
on the news again?

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Not me!

00:00:25.155 --> 00:00:26.406
Okay, maybe a little.

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Some lady got trapped
in an elevator for five days

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and it was not pretty.

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If they didn't want you
to laugh,
they wouldn't put it on TV.

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You know, every time I think

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I'm making progress
with you people?

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Something like this happens.

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Anyways, Amy,
the The Round-Up is holding

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their annual Battle of the Bands
on Saturday.

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We have to enter!

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Wait, so we get to sing
and battle people?

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I'm in!

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It's not a real battle.
It's a contest where bands

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perform original songs
and face-off against each other.

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I'm confused.
Can I throttle someone or not?

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No! But if we win,

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it'll boost our cred
as a new singing duo

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and we'll be insanely popular!

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Oh, we are popular.

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The other day we were singing
at the food court

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and someone tipped us
with curly fries.

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That wasn't a tip,
they threw them at us

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and said "Stop singing,
I'm trying to eat!"

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Best two-ninety-nine
I ever spent.

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The only thing is,
to perform at the contest,

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we'd have to write
an original song.

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- Which we've never done before.
- Big deal.

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I used to write songs with
my villain band all the time.

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Well, until they met
their demise in a fiery inferno.

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Which is ironic
because we were gonna name

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the band Fiery Inferno.

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Oh, hey, Celia!

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Come on in.

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I know I'm supposed to knock,
but I'm too excited.

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Plus, I really don't care.

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Robert just told me he booked us
a romantic weekend

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at Lady Bird Lake.

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That sounds far away. I like it.

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We're gonna watch the sunrise,

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play shuffleboard

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and cruise the lake
on a kayak built for two.

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You know why they build 'em
for two, don't ya?

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If I say yes, will it stop you
from telling me?

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Anyway, since I'm gonna be gone
for a few days,

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this is the list of things
I need you to do while I'm away.

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Wait, so you're going
on vacation

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but you want us
to do your chores?

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I was wrong about you.
You are smart.

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It really doesn't seem fair
to make us work

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while you're off having fun.

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I could just raise
your rent instead.

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Then again,
work does build character.

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Amy! I just came up
with the perfect verse

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for our Battle of the Bands
song!

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Check it out!

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"The leaves are growing.

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The sun is shining.

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I feel so alive.

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The stars are aligning"

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Wow, that's like
the perfect set up

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for the chorus I just wrote.

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"Stop with the lies!
Stop with the lies!

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Everything dies!

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Everything dies!"

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I am not letting
our first big performance
be a song about death.

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Well, then I'm not singing
about the stars aligning!

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What's your big finale?
Butterflies flying
out of our armpits?

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If you're open to it.

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Look, the contest
is tomorrow night.

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If we can't write
an original song
that represents the both of us,

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we're gonna have to back out
of the competition.

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Wait, no, I got it!

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What if we perform
"Loud Like Me?"

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It's a song I used to sing
with my villain band

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but it's the least-villainy
one I ever wrote.

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Hey, Hartley.

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Hello, Lamey.

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Really, Gem?

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Your name literally
means generic diamond.

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I heard you're competing
in the Battle of the Bands.

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So are we.

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We call ourselves
"Gem and the Other Girls."

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You know,
that way when they annoy me

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and I have to replace them,
the name will still stick.

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Oh, I know they can hear me,
I don't care.

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What's your point, Gem?

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My point is that you two
should drop out now

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and spare yourselves
the embarrassment
of losing to me.

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Oh, and them.

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But mostly me.

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So, villain song?

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Villain song!

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Okay, Colby,
I think we can check

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some of the stuff
of Celia's "To Do" list.

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Clean gutters, check.

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Plant lemon tree, check.

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Bury mysterious box
under lemon tree, check.

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I shook it,
pretty sure it's bones.

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That was exhausting!

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Why does Celia want her lawn
trimmed with scissors?

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I added that one to see if you
were gullible enough to do it.

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You never disappoint, Jake!

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Okay. Only 22 chores to go.

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Next up, tint the windows
on her "she shed!"

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What's this?

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MAN: I've got three recliners
for this address.

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I'm sorry,
we didn't order any recliners.

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Oh, they must be
for our landlady Celia.

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And we will be happy
to accept them on her behalf!

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Dad, what are you doing?

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Just keeping
Celia's new chairs safe.

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Inside our house.
Under our tushies.

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Under our tushies?
Who says that?

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Seriously? That's your biggest
bump with this whole thing?

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Look, if Celia can go
on vacation

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and stick us with her chores,
the least she can do

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is let us enjoy these sweet
recliners for a few days.

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And you're gonna take
the heat for this

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when Celia comes home
and finds out?

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No. I'll be hiding
in her she shed.

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Hartley, if we're gonna perform
a bass-pounding villain anthem,

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you can't sing it
like a bobblehead doll.

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Sorry.

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I've just never sung
anything with this
rage-filled kind of energy.

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It's easy. You just have to tap
into your inner villain.

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Oh, you know,
like when you take money
out from your grandma's purse.

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I would never!

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Oh, well, I used to take money
from my grandma's purse

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so pretend you're me
and go crazy.

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I'm just gonna go
get us a snack.

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Okay, channeling
my inner villain.

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Oh

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Oh, look at you standing
on the furniture,

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there's hope for you yet.

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When did I hear
that song before?

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Oh, I used to perform it with my
villain band when I was Havoc.

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Right! Yes.
It's about the only song

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your band played
that didn't make my ears bleed.

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Well, that stings.
All of my songs

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were supposed
to make your ears bleed.

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We're performing it
at the Round-Up

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for the "Battle of the Bands!"

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Oh, no, you're not.

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Singing that song
in public is way too risky.

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Why? No one's even heard it.

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We only performed it
at some villain music festivals.

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Villains have music festivals?

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Of course. Who do you think
invented mosh pits?

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My point is, no one here knows
it's a villain song.

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I'm not concerned
about people here knowing.

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If someone films you
and posts it online,
any villain can see it

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and connect the dots
between Havoc and Amy.

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And we will all get caught!

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Well,
what are we supposed to do?

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The contest is tonight and we
don't have another song to sing.

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Which means
we won't be able to compete!

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Sorry, girls,
but this family's safety

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is more important
than winning a contest.

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I'm putting my foot down.
You cannot sing that song.

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Wow. Being a good parent feels
like being a tyrant.

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I like it.

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I can't believe we have
to back out of the contest.

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I've never
backed out of anything!

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Backed into things, yes.

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Backed over things definitely,

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but I've never backed out
of anything.

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Hi, I'm Hartley and this is Amy.

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We were supposed to perform
in the contest tonight but...

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They know my group is gonna win
so they're backing out.

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Good call, girls.

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Now we can just skip
to the part where you lose.

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We are not afraid
of you beating us.

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Aw, it's so cute
when she gets mad.

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Are neck veins
supposed to do that?

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Amy, do not let her get to you.

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- If she gets to you, she wins.
- Oh, I don't know.

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I'm pretty sure if I shove
that microphone stand

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down her throat,
it's a win for all of us.

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Everyone! Let's give it up
for Amy and Hartley!

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I know they say
it's bad to be a quitter

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but it's a good thing
when a person
can truly admit they're weak.

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Oh, yeah, there goes
your little neck vein.

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Why are you so upset?

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I mean, that is why
you're here, right?

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- To quit?
- Never!

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We're here to drop off
our sheet music and lyrics

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to the house band.

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Amy, what are you doing?

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Just follow my lead.

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Here you go!

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Hope you brought a lifeboat

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'cause our song is gonna
blow you out of the water!

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Why would I need a lifeboat
if I'm out of the water?

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I'll get back to you on that!

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Amy! You know your mom
doesn't want you
singing that song!

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Correction, my mom doesn't
want any villains

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to see footage of us
singing that song.

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What she's forgetting
is that my sonic powers

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can emit
an electromagnetic pulse.

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Normal people words, please!

00:09:07.260 --> 00:09:10.805
I can use the EMP
to shut down everyone's phones.

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So we can still perform
and they won't be able
to film us.

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So your family
will be totally safe!
That's brilliant!

00:09:16.978 --> 00:09:19.063
Oh, I'm glad you think so.

00:09:19.188 --> 00:09:22.068
Because my backed up plan
was gonna be forcing you
to sing the death song.

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All my anger at the world
is melting away.

00:09:49.677 --> 00:09:53.931
Were we only villains
because we didn't have
massage chairs?

00:09:54.015 --> 00:09:57.018
I better turn this thing off
before I start having
faith in humanity.

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Whoo! You were right, Dad.

00:10:00.688 --> 00:10:02.457
It's a lot easier
to put up with Celia's chores

00:10:02.481 --> 00:10:04.525
when we can relax
in these chairs.

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Yeah, I just wish we kept
them in the living room
so we could watch TV.

00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:10.781
Because, you know,
down here we're just
three dudes staring at a wall.

00:10:10.865 --> 00:10:12.533
Hey, that wall is gorgeous.

00:10:12.617 --> 00:10:14.617
And I'm not just saying that
because I designed it.

00:10:15.578 --> 00:10:16.621
Okay, I am.

00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:19.874
This may seem crazy,

00:10:19.957 --> 00:10:23.419
but the three of us
could just talk.

00:10:28.466 --> 00:10:31.886
Then again, I mean, Dad did
design a really nice wall.

00:10:31.969 --> 00:10:33.888
Oh, like your conversation's
so sparkling.

00:10:33.971 --> 00:10:36.807
"I'm the Chosen One!
I did a kickflip today!"

00:10:36.891 --> 00:10:38.893
Okay, that does not sound
like me

00:10:38.976 --> 00:10:41.812
and it was a 360 hardflip!
Seriously.

00:10:41.896 --> 00:10:45.441
It's like you just swipe
right past my stories.

00:10:45.524 --> 00:10:48.736
Hey! I know how we can enjoy
the chairs and have fun!

00:10:48.819 --> 00:10:51.364
Bring the chairs to life,
befriend them
and have chair friends?

00:10:51.447 --> 00:10:52.740
Guess again!

00:10:52.823 --> 00:10:54.825
A bumper chair battle!

00:10:57.495 --> 00:10:59.038
Bumper chair battle?

00:10:59.121 --> 00:11:01.374
That's right!

00:11:01.457 --> 00:11:03.685
I motorized the chairs
and made customized
joysticks to control them!

00:11:03.709 --> 00:11:05.429
That's a lot of work
to avoid talking to me.

00:11:06.921 --> 00:11:10.049
Worst part is
you're still talking.

00:11:10.132 --> 00:11:11.926
But now we can smash
into each other!

00:11:12.009 --> 00:11:13.761
Why would we do that?

00:11:13.844 --> 00:11:17.181
Because pain is funny,
but hurting family is funnier!

00:11:36.075 --> 00:11:39.203
You're right, Dad!
Hurting family is funnier!

00:11:39.328 --> 00:11:41.288
You can't do that
to the Chosen One!

00:11:48.379 --> 00:11:50.798
I think the Chosen One needs
to be knocked off his throne.

00:11:50.881 --> 00:11:53.008
I'll join that palace coup!

00:11:58.723 --> 00:12:00.558
Hmm... Maybe I should add
some seat belts.

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BOTH: Nah!

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Oh, it's on!

00:12:11.986 --> 00:12:14.572
Amy, are you sure
performing your villain song

00:12:14.655 --> 00:12:16.615
- is a good idea?
- Yes.

00:12:16.699 --> 00:12:18.260
That song is gonna win us
this competition

00:12:18.284 --> 00:12:19.910
and we're going to put Gem
in her place.

00:12:19.994 --> 00:12:22.079
Which I hope is an upside down
port-a-potty.

00:12:27.418 --> 00:12:28.794
Thank you, Valley View!

00:12:28.878 --> 00:12:30.713
Oh, no. I love you!

00:12:30.796 --> 00:12:32.631
All right.
Wrapped it up, Jennifer Nopez!

00:12:33.799 --> 00:12:34.985
What do you think you're doing?

00:12:35.009 --> 00:12:36.969
You stole our song!

00:12:37.052 --> 00:12:39.305
And I'm pretty sure
stealing another group's song

00:12:39.388 --> 00:12:40.848
can get you disqualified.

00:12:40.931 --> 00:12:42.975
You can't prove
that I stole anything.

00:12:43.058 --> 00:12:46.228
But what is against the rules is
you singing the same song as me.

00:12:46.312 --> 00:12:48.314
So unless you have another one,

00:12:48.397 --> 00:12:50.524
looks like you're out
of the compet-ish.

00:12:51.734 --> 00:12:53.360
Competi-tion.

00:12:53.444 --> 00:12:55.446
Yeah, I made it "ish"
'cause it sounds more hip.

00:12:57.364 --> 00:12:59.492
But that's not even a word.

00:12:59.575 --> 00:13:01.553
I mean what is "ish"...
why am I going down
this road with you?

00:13:01.577 --> 00:13:03.829
You should be flattered
I sang your song.

00:13:03.913 --> 00:13:06.353
You wouldn't want it
to be ruined
by the two of you singing it.

00:13:08.334 --> 00:13:11.295
- Amy!
- Mom!

00:13:11.378 --> 00:13:12.421
What are you doing here?

00:13:12.505 --> 00:13:14.799
Well, I thought you might ignore

00:13:14.882 --> 00:13:17.218
what I said and try to sing
your song anyway.

00:13:17.301 --> 00:13:19.220
So I came here to stop you.

00:13:19.303 --> 00:13:21.573
Well, it doesn't matter because
Gem already stole our song

00:13:21.597 --> 00:13:22.973
and performed
it before we could.

00:13:23.098 --> 00:13:24.558
Aha! So you were gonna sing it!

00:13:24.642 --> 00:13:27.102
Of course I was.

00:13:27.228 --> 00:13:29.605
But I had a plan so no one
would be able to film it.

00:13:29.688 --> 00:13:31.482
Electro-magnetic pulse?

00:13:31.565 --> 00:13:33.275
Smart.

00:13:33.359 --> 00:13:37.696
Despite what your father says,
you get that from me.

00:13:37.780 --> 00:13:40.366
Wait. If you were so worried
that Amy singing the song

00:13:40.449 --> 00:13:41.969
could lead the villains
to Valley View,

00:13:42.034 --> 00:13:43.804
shouldn't we be worried
that they'll post videos

00:13:43.828 --> 00:13:45.454
- of Gem singing it too?
- Nope.

00:13:47.873 --> 00:13:50.626
My sonic EMP doesn't just stop
phones from filming,

00:13:50.709 --> 00:13:52.253
it destroys them.

00:13:52.336 --> 00:13:54.088
Nice.

00:13:54.171 --> 00:13:57.883
Wait, did you just destroy
my phone?

00:13:57.967 --> 00:14:01.470
Well, you always say friendship
is about sacrifices.

00:14:01.554 --> 00:14:03.180
You couldn't pick a cheaper one?

00:14:05.057 --> 00:14:07.434
Sorry, Mom. I never should
have gone against you.

00:14:07.518 --> 00:14:10.312
I didn't want to lose to Gem,
but...

00:14:10.396 --> 00:14:13.858
- I guess we lost anyway.
- Hey, whoa...

00:14:13.941 --> 00:14:17.486
Hey, I didn't want you to sing
a villain song
but I'm not letting you quit!

00:14:17.570 --> 00:14:18.988
You're performing on that stage.

00:14:19.071 --> 00:14:20.990
How? We couldn't write a song

00:14:21.073 --> 00:14:23.367
we agreed on in a week.
There's no way we can write one

00:14:23.450 --> 00:14:24.719
by the time we're supposed
to perform.

00:14:24.743 --> 00:14:26.287
I'm sure you can.

00:14:26.370 --> 00:14:28.122
I mean,
just write about what you know.

00:14:28.205 --> 00:14:30.499
And I think you both know

00:14:30.583 --> 00:14:32.501
you shouldn't let the haters
get you down.

00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:36.005
- You're right.
- Yeah!

00:14:36.088 --> 00:14:37.339
Who cares what Gem thinks?

00:14:37.423 --> 00:14:38.966
Well, there you go.

00:14:39.049 --> 00:14:40.735
I'm sure you got something
to say about that.

00:14:40.759 --> 00:14:42.511
Thanks, Mom!

00:14:42.595 --> 00:14:45.848
Hey. Aw...

00:14:45.931 --> 00:14:49.560
I'm really getting this
ordinary mom thing down.

00:14:56.317 --> 00:14:58.444
Stop ganging up on me!
It's two against one!

00:14:58.527 --> 00:15:01.572
Correction,
it's two against the Chosen One.

00:15:06.869 --> 00:15:10.581
Aw, look at him drive off
in his little scaredy-chair.

00:15:10.664 --> 00:15:13.417
That'll teach him not to flaunt
all his powers in our face.

00:15:13.500 --> 00:15:15.377
You see the glimmer
fading from his eyes?

00:15:15.461 --> 00:15:16.879
His spirit is broken.

00:15:16.962 --> 00:15:18.631
Man, I love being a parent.

00:15:19.673 --> 00:15:21.216
Oh, ho, ho.

00:15:21.300 --> 00:15:24.303
We scared him so bad
he abandoned his chair!

00:15:24.386 --> 00:15:26.889
COLBY: Correction,
I am the chair!

00:15:26.972 --> 00:15:28.349
Wait.

00:15:28.432 --> 00:15:29.808
If Colby shapeshift
into a chair,

00:15:29.850 --> 00:15:31.352
then that means the chair has...

00:15:31.435 --> 00:15:33.437
BOTH: Super-speed!

00:15:36.190 --> 00:15:37.983
COLBY: That's right!
I can shape-shift

00:15:38.067 --> 00:15:41.070
and super-speed
at the same time!

00:15:41.153 --> 00:15:44.198
Never underestimate
the Chosen One.

00:15:48.869 --> 00:15:51.038
Yup. Definitely should've gone
with those seat belts.

00:15:55.167 --> 00:15:58.003
The judges have voted
and once again it's unanimous!

00:15:58.087 --> 00:15:59.421
The winner of this year's

00:15:59.505 --> 00:16:02.591
Battle of the Bands
is Happiness!

00:16:02.675 --> 00:16:03.759
Of Death!

00:16:13.936 --> 00:16:15.646
Hey, Dad, can I get
one of those ice packs?

00:16:16.897 --> 00:16:18.732
Get your own, strong man!

00:16:21.568 --> 00:16:23.862
Colby, how are you not in pain?

00:16:23.946 --> 00:16:25.990
Is that another
Chosen One power?

00:16:26.073 --> 00:16:28.200
Yeah, it's called being young.

00:16:34.832 --> 00:16:36.583
Do you know how long
I've been waiting here?

00:16:36.667 --> 00:16:39.545
- Five seconds?
- Sounds right.

00:16:39.628 --> 00:16:41.547
Thanks for signing
for my chairs.

00:16:41.630 --> 00:16:43.340
Hartley was busy singing.

00:16:43.424 --> 00:16:47.219
Guess that was more important
than Grandma's Tush Master 2000.

00:16:48.387 --> 00:16:49.930
Is one of these for Hartley?

00:16:50.014 --> 00:16:52.349
No, they're for Tawny
and Tessie.

00:16:52.474 --> 00:16:55.519
The girls come over for a gab
sesh three nights a week.

00:16:55.602 --> 00:16:59.106
If we're gonna dish dirt,
our tushies
might as well be cushy.

00:17:02.568 --> 00:17:05.195
I think I've reached
my threshold
for hearing the word "tushy."

00:17:07.531 --> 00:17:11.827
Ooh, I can feel it
huggin' my hips!

00:17:13.328 --> 00:17:14.455
What's this thing do?

00:17:14.538 --> 00:17:15.914
Celia, no!

00:17:21.086 --> 00:17:23.380
Forget to remove the motors?

00:17:23.464 --> 00:17:26.800
You know how this goes.
I'm the chef,
you clear the table.

00:17:32.639 --> 00:17:33.682
You okay, Celia?

00:17:33.766 --> 00:17:35.726
No! I'm not okay.

00:17:35.809 --> 00:17:38.562
I'm amazing!

00:17:38.645 --> 00:17:41.815
Ooh! I didn't know
those chairs could do that!

00:17:41.899 --> 00:17:43.525
Hurry up and move 'em
over to my place

00:17:43.650 --> 00:17:45.610
so I can T-bone
Tawny and Tessie!