WEBVTT

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Previously
on Some Assembly Required...

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Yay!

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It's like Christmas
in December!

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This one's
from my Aunt Marlene.

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She always gives me
the most boring gifts.

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Teeny Toddler Chemistry Set.

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Ages three to...

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three.

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Sounds like a blast.

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Excuse me, I had a problem
with one of your toys.

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Your chemistry set
blew up my house.

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So sue me.

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Okay!

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I can't believe the jury
made me

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the new owner of the company!

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And the judge let me keep
this cool wooden hammer!

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Here we go

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Geneva,
you're the receptionist.

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Shouldn't you be sitting
at the reception desk?

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I can't.
It's broken.

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Sorry.

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It turns out I don't
know anything about cars.

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Or desks.

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That'll be $900.

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Excuse me?

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I had a problem with
one of your toys.

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I'm sorry to hear that.
What seems to be the issue?

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Your chemistry set
blew up my house.

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So sue us!

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What? No!
He's kidding!

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Will you excuse me
for one moment?

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Hey. You work here?

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Work? No.

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We never thought to recall

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all those old Knickknack
chemistry sets that explode!

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They must still be
on store shelves!

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I see what you're saying.

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You want me
to go to the store,

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buy one,
and throw it at the kid

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so our little legal problem
"goes away."

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No! That's not
what I'm saying.

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Candace may have done
something like that,

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but when I took over
Knickknack Toys,

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I vowed to treat
our customers better.

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I'm kind of getting
mixed messages

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on the whole
"blow up the kid" thing...

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So I'll just do it
and see how you react.

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Young man, we at Knickknack
are very sorry

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for what happened
to you and your family.

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Sorry's nice,

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but we don't have a place
to live.

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Well, don't worry.
We will make things right.

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I was hoping
you'd say that!

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We love our new home!

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I bet you're sorry we
didn't go with my plan now.

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Buckle up

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And hold on tight

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You and me
on a wild ride

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We're gonna own it
and change the game

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Together we'll make it
all the way

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Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs

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We'll always find our way
around

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Here we go
whoa-oh-oh

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Yeah, here we go
whoa-oh-oh

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You got me

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I got you

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Here we go

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Ooh!

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Put on
The Weasel Whisperer!

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Jarvis, I have a problem
with the people near my desk.

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What's the problem?

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They're near my desk.

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And they're people.

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You know how I feel
about people.

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Who's a good weasel?

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I'm sorry, Piper,

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but this is probably
the first time

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they've felt comfortable
since they lost their home.

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Yeah, well, I think
they're too comfortable.

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I don't see
the problem here.

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He's probably
not wearing pants

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because he's making himself
at home.

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Oof!

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I was going to say
because it's laundry day,

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but you're probably right.

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Geneva...

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Sorry.
Can't work.

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My desk is getting
a car wash.

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They're raising money
for a good cause.

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Please tell me
the good cause

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is to buy Bowie
a full pair of jeans.

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Well, I wasn't going to
ask you to do anything.

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I was just going to tell you
Jarvis asked me to go shopping.

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Shopping?

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I want to go shopping!

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And not just to buy
Bowie those jeans.

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Okay! Here's the
company credit card.

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Just go to every
toy store in town

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and buy up all the Teeny
Toddler Chemistry Sets.

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Toodles!

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Did you just trick me?

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No.

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I believe you.

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But only because you thought
about it for a long time.

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Happy now?

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I got them to take down
all their laundry.

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Yeah...

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by saying
we'd do it for them!

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It's not so bad...
if you make Bowie do it.

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All folded!

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So you just gathered up
all their clothes in a ball?

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No. Only the whites.

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I formed the darks
into a tetrahedron.

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I get that you're trying

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to do the right thing
for these people,

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but why don't we just this once
try and do the wrong thing?

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Like roll them up
in this nightgown

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and drop them in the river?

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The river's far.

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Why don't we just put them up
in a hotel?

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Hey, Jarvis.

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We're out of that mustard
I like.

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Listen, Logan.

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I was thinking maybe you guys
would be more comfortable

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if you went to a hotel.

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And leave our home?

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Besides, we can't.

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We have relatives
coming to stay with us.

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What?

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I don't know
if that's a good idea.

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Fine, they'll stay at my house.

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Oh, wait.
You blew up my house!

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So sue us!

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Maybe I'll take you
to the river.

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Ooh! Can we catch tadpoles?

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Don't worry.

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You won't even know
they're here.

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I know they're here.

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Okay, I've put you
in room 407.

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Don't be alarmed

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if you hear screaming
from the next room.

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That's just where we keep

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the defective
Screaming Sally dolls.

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The dolls don't scream.
They're defective.

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The people staying there
are afraid of dolls.

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Jarvis, this is
ridiculous.

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We've gone from letting
these people stay here

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to being
at their beck and call.

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That's not true.

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You becked and called?

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Let me help you
with those bags!

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I get that that kid and
his family lost their house,

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but this place has
turned into a hotel.

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No, it hasn't.

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By the way, you'd better
get into your uniform.

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Your shift started
five minutes ago.

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Start with room 408.

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That's where we keep
the Puking Patty Dolls.

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They work fine.

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Hey, Aster.

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Geneva!
How'd your shopping trip go?

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Great!
I got some adorable outfits.

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You were supposed
to buy chemistry sets.

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Oh...

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I never made it
to the toy store.

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There are a lot of really
good stores at that mall.

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So you didn't buy any sets?

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Of course I did!

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And also some separates.

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I knew it was a mistake
sending you!

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Anyway,
since you can't be trusted

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to buy those chemistry sets,

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I guess I'll have to go myself.

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There are a lot
of good stores at that mall!

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Thank goodness
you're back!

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I have no idea
how to open a door!

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People always do it for me.

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What a day!

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Checking people in,
dealing with special requests,

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fielding complaints
about the lazy bellhop...

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Hey!

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I'm not lazy,
and I'll tell you why.

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Ah, forget it.
It's too much work.

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Yeah?

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Well,
I've spent the last two hours

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cleaning puke
out of carpets.

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Not from
those Puking Patty Dolls,

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but because our room service
food is terrible.

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Piper's right.

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This entire place
has been turned into a hotel.

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Not the entire place.

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We still have my office.

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Which has apparently
been turned into a sauna.

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Technically,
it's a steam room.

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A sauna is more
of a dry heat.

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Uh... who is that?

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That's my...

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Cousin.

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All these people
are my cousins.

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Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

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Yeah.

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It must be nice having
such a big family!

00:09:49.552 --> 00:09:51.012
I wish I had a bunch
of cousins

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that looked nothing like me.

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I'm sure
they'd wish that too.

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I guess it's possible

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these people are
all their cousins.

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It's true.

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Crazier things
have happened.

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Like once I heard
about a hotel

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completely staffed by kids.

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Guys, look what I found!

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Your tablet?

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I didn't even know
you'd lost it.

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No, I found something
on my tablet.

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Is that why you didn't
know where it was?

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Because something
was on top of it?

00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:29.592
Why don't you just talk to me?

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I went out of my way
to do the right thing,

00:10:40.102 --> 00:10:42.813
and these people
just took advantage of me.

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This is what being nice
gets you?

00:10:44.523 --> 00:10:46.859
I'm putting a stop
to ToyLand right now.

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Oh, good.

00:10:52.531 --> 00:10:54.075
You confiscated
all those souvenirs.

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Right. Confiscated.

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I totally didn't buy them
at ridiculously inflated prices.

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Did they at least admit

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they're charging people
to stay here?

00:11:04.877 --> 00:11:06.337
Yes.

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They also said the money
they're making is nothing

00:11:08.047 --> 00:11:09.882
compared to what they lost
when their house blew up.

00:11:09.882 --> 00:11:11.717
So sue us!

00:11:13.886 --> 00:11:15.930
So the only way to get rid
of all these guests

00:11:15.930 --> 00:11:17.723
is if they choose to leave?

00:11:17.723 --> 00:11:21.560
Why would anyone do that?
ToyLand is awesome!

00:11:26.565 --> 00:11:30.152
At our 8:00 show,
I'm killing you.

00:11:30.152 --> 00:11:32.238
And in our off time,
when we're not doing a show,

00:11:32.238 --> 00:11:33.447
I'm killing you.

00:11:35.241 --> 00:11:36.200
Oh, hey, guys!

00:11:38.244 --> 00:11:39.245
Any luck
with those chemistry sets?

00:11:39.245 --> 00:11:40.538
Yep.

00:11:40.538 --> 00:11:42.248
We bought
every last one of them.

00:11:42.248 --> 00:11:45.251
All 4,999.

00:11:45.251 --> 00:11:47.253
But according to these
inventory records,

00:11:47.253 --> 00:11:48.963
we only ever distributed

00:11:48.963 --> 00:11:52.216
5,000 Teeny Toddler
Chemistry Sets to stores.

00:11:52.216 --> 00:11:53.676
That means only one person

00:11:53.676 --> 00:11:55.803
ever bought
one of those boring toys.

00:11:55.803 --> 00:11:57.346
We've been lied to!

00:11:57.346 --> 00:12:01.475
Jarvis, how could you?
Your house never blew up!

00:12:01.475 --> 00:12:03.185
You were there
when it happened!

00:12:03.185 --> 00:12:05.146
Oh yeah.

00:12:06.272 --> 00:12:09.024
That kid lied to us.

00:12:09.024 --> 00:12:10.151
He and his family

00:12:10.151 --> 00:12:11.610
must have read
about what happened to me

00:12:11.610 --> 00:12:13.362
and decided to con us!

00:12:13.362 --> 00:12:16.031
That really hurts.

00:12:16.031 --> 00:12:18.534
Yeah, it hurts to be
deceived like that.

00:12:18.534 --> 00:12:21.287
No, the sun is shining
through the window,

00:12:21.287 --> 00:12:23.581
and this magnifying glass
is burning my eye.

00:12:27.293 --> 00:12:29.170
And stay out!

00:12:31.172 --> 00:12:32.173
Uh...

00:12:32.173 --> 00:12:33.674
Jarvis, they're still inside.

00:12:34.049 --> 00:12:34.967
Oops.

00:12:34.967 --> 00:12:36.177
My depth perception
is way off

00:12:36.177 --> 00:12:38.345
since I burned my eye.

00:12:38.345 --> 00:12:40.806
Don't worry.
We're leaving.

00:12:42.183 --> 00:12:44.185
Wait! Don't forget
your laundry!

00:12:44.185 --> 00:12:46.103
Which has been cleaned,
pressed,

00:12:46.103 --> 00:12:47.730
and folded neatly.

00:12:47.730 --> 00:12:51.609
You scoundrels don't deserve
a geometric shape!

00:12:55.738 --> 00:12:58.282
All right.
They're gone.

00:12:58.282 --> 00:13:00.659
They're gone, right?

00:13:00.659 --> 00:13:02.661
They're gone.

00:13:03.037 --> 00:13:04.497
You gave me
this chemistry set.

00:13:04.497 --> 00:13:05.706
What kind of person
gives someone a gift

00:13:05.706 --> 00:13:08.125
and then tries to take it back?

00:13:08.125 --> 00:13:10.127
I wonder what cool chemistry
stuff is in here?

00:13:10.127 --> 00:13:10.920
Bowie, don't...

00:13:16.717 --> 00:13:18.511
It's not funny!

00:13:18.511 --> 00:13:20.721
Your chemistry set
blew up my face!

00:13:22.389 --> 00:13:23.682
So sue me!

00:13:24.725 --> 00:13:27.728
Okay!

00:13:29.021 --> 00:13:31.065
I can't believe the jury
made me

00:13:31.065 --> 00:13:32.358
the new owner of the company!

00:13:33.901 --> 00:13:36.362
And the judge let me keep
this cool wooden hammer!

00:13:39.740 --> 00:13:41.242
Well, you should've
let me keep it.

00:13:41.242 --> 00:13:43.536
You let him keep his!

00:13:51.502 --> 00:13:54.964
Watashi wa
P. Eberetto Nikunaku desu.

00:13:54.964 --> 00:13:57.132
There's no P in Japanese.

00:13:57.132 --> 00:13:59.301
It doesn't stand for anything!