- You think you're gonna have kids?
- No, because I have no idea what I would name them.
I've met too many people.
I have a negative association with every single name.
- What about... - Donovan?
- Ooh. Forgot about Donovan.
- Donovan's a good name.
Bet my life would have been a lot better if my name was Donovan.
- Yeah, I like Donovan.
Huh. Maybe I'll reverse the vasectomy.
- Do you keep doing that back and forth
over and over again or does a hole become permanent at some point again?
- You can do anything you want.
- Hey, Rocio.
- I need you to take this crap to Memo's place.
- Damn, nice to see you too.
- ¿Cómo estás?
And try to do it by tonight.
I don't wanna talk to that piece of *** right now.
- Damn, I don't wanna see that fool either.
- Shut up, Julio. You're not the one divorcing him.
Just do me this favor so you can pat yourself on the back
and feel good about it later.
Cool, thanks.
- *** key his truck. I gotta go to work.
I don't want that *** in my house.
- Shut up. Hi, Luis. Bye, Luis.
- Check it out.
We don't have to wipe our *** with sandpaper anymore.
I got the one with the cute-*** little bears on it.
- Dawg, put that *** away. Put it away!
- Dawg, it's like prison here.
And her toilet paper is shredding my culo.
Don't worry about it, playboy.
Soon your *** will become leather just like mine.
- Dawg, I'm bleeding!
- Shh.
- Man, what the ***?
Hey! What the hell are you doing?
- *** off, man.
I'm just trying to do my job.
- That's our recycling. My mom turns that *** in for money.
- What you need the *** money for?
- We're poor. We need those cans.
- You're not poor. You're broke.
There's a difference.
I'm ***in' poor.
- What are you even talking about? Put that bag down.
- Can I ask your young *** a question?
You ever been late on your utility bills?
- Yeah, all the time.
- Well, I've never been late on my utility bills. You know why?
Because I don't have a mother***in' house to live in
'cause I'm poor.
I wish I was broke enough to even have a bill.
Must be nice.
But whatever, man.
You keep 'em.
Broke ***.
- Yo. Come back.
Just take them.
- Yeah?
Yeah, you need them more.
Oh.
Damn, man.
Thank you.
You a good guy.
Doo doo doo
Devil or angel
I can't make up my mind
- Sí, sí, tía, gracias for all the staplers.
- No, no, no, no.
- Hola, mamacita.
Sorry to bother you, but my recycling was stolen last night.
I'm checking with all the neighbors to see if theirs did too.
- Please hold. Julio!
- Okay.
Hmm.
***! They got us too.
- ***! Imma kill whoever stole my recycling.
You don't *** with my money.
- Yeah, kill the ***!
- Damn, Darius. Don't you think that's a little too far?
- Don't *** with my money then.
Listen, you see something, you let me know.
Adios, mamacita.
- Hey, broke guy.
- What the *** do you want?
- You got any more cans?
- My neighbor Darius says if he catches you,
he's gonna smoke your ***.
- Man, *** Darius. I ain't thinking about no damn Darius.
That old stingy ***.
Hey.
W-- Well, I-I-- I may need a lookout, though,
so, uh, are you down for helping me out?
- No, I ain't trying to get merked out here.
- Oh, come on, Julio.
I was thinking we could be like Batman and Robin Hood.
You know, steal from the broke and give to the poor.
Me.
Look, I'm really sorry.
I can't help you steal from my neighbors.
- Okay. I thought you had my back.
Seeing as how you such a... good guy.
Such a good guy.
- I'll get my shoes.
Devil or angel
I can't make up my mind
Which one you are
I'd like to wake up and find
Oh!
- Uh, you think you could give me a ride to the recycling center?
- Okay, but this is the last time I'm doing you a solid.
- Oh, thank you, Señor Julio.
Before you, I never knew a friendship
between a poor individual such as myself
and a broke *** like you could even be possible.
- See, that's the thing about me.
I feel like I've always just had the ability
to be friends with anyone.
I don't know, I guess I'm a good guy like that.
Hey, you are. You are.
Hey, real quick, uh, can I take a *** in your house?
- Wait. What the ***?
Where the *** is my car?
- Ay!
Que es eso?
What the hell is going on out there?
- Luis. What the ***?
You ***.
- Yo, Darius. Uh, it was all Julio.
Here's your can thief. Shoot him.
- You gonna pay me for these cans.
Hey, chingados.
- Looks bomb.
- Ay, Mamá.
- Uh--
- Esperanza!
- ¡Mamá!
- That's disgusting.
- What's up, Julio? Great to see you.
- Here's your ***.
- Thanks, man.
Hey, you wanna hang out and throw back some chelas?
- No, I don't wanna hang out with you.
You *** over my sister,
and now you have me running errands for you?
- You probably hate me, huh?
- Yeah, I guess I do.
- But not as much as your sister.
Jesus Christ, Memo.
Stop ***in' crying and be a man.
- I *** up everything with your sister,
and now I'm *** up everything with you.
- Please, Memo, don't make this awkward.
But I'm so lonely.
You're all I got left.
- Ay!
Oh.
- Hey, fool.
Remember when you got *** up at Ana's quince?
- What kinda pomade you use?
Layrite or Suavecito?
- Hey, fool, a magician never reveals his secrets.
- Hey, man, thank you for hanging out with me, Julio.
- Yeah, no problem.
- Even though you're not my bro anymore, you still my bro.
You wanna hit the pookie with me?
- Dawg! That's why my sister left your ***!
I know.
It's the only way I could deal with this ***.
Skante saved my life, dawg.
- Stop crying!
- I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot.
I just didn't wanna smoke alone.
I thought you'd be down because you're such a good guy.
Such a good guy.
You're such a good guy.
- Goddamn it.
Devil or angel, I can't...
Dawg, I can light my own ***.
- Okay.
- Stop crying, fool, we're about to party.
I'd like to wake up and find
Devil or angel, dear
Whichever you are
Mm-hmm.
I miss you
You're *** up, Ronnie
You're not gonna last
You're gonna die too
From a neutron blast
You're *** up, Ronnie
I'm lyin' in a pool of blood, leave me alone
I don't want your help anyway
When they march us off to war
Will you be there to save the day?
You're *** up, Ronnie Leave me alone
You're *** up, Ronnie La, la, la, la, la