WEBVTT

00:00:17.814 --> 00:00:20.150
Great pancakes, Dad.

00:00:21.151 --> 00:00:23.653
Oh, thanks.

00:00:23.653 --> 00:00:25.071
Hey, who's ready for seconds?

00:00:26.573 --> 00:00:27.365
I am.

00:00:59.522 --> 00:01:01.316
So, which one
of these pinks

00:01:01.357 --> 00:01:02.776
do you want
to let float this month--

00:01:02.817 --> 00:01:04.319
cable or Visa?

00:01:04.360 --> 00:01:05.361
Oh, we can probably
go without cable.

00:01:05.403 --> 00:01:06.696
You know,
it might be fun.

00:01:06.696 --> 00:01:08.198
We'll get together
as a family,

00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:09.407
play board games,
sing songs.

00:01:09.491 --> 00:01:11.034
Okay, you made
your point.

00:01:11.034 --> 00:01:12.535
We'll pay the cable.

00:01:12.535 --> 00:01:15.246
Oh... for crying
out loud.

00:01:15.288 --> 00:01:16.706
The freezer's
out again.

00:01:16.706 --> 00:01:17.582
What?!

00:01:17.624 --> 00:01:19.584
We just had that fixed.

00:01:19.626 --> 00:01:21.920
I know, the stupid
piece of junk.

00:01:21.961 --> 00:01:22.712
Oh...

00:01:22.754 --> 00:01:24.380
It's only five
years old.

00:01:24.380 --> 00:01:26.466
How could it keep
breaking down?

00:01:28.384 --> 00:01:29.886
Aw, man!

00:01:34.307 --> 00:01:34.891
MALCOLM:
Uh-huh!

00:01:34.933 --> 00:01:36.226
We'll let Mom settle this.

00:01:36.267 --> 00:01:37.727
The loser licks
the tub drain.
Deal.

00:01:37.769 --> 00:01:39.562
Mom, whose
tongue's longer?

00:01:41.689 --> 00:01:45.652
Are you going to make us
stand out here all day?!

00:01:45.693 --> 00:01:47.654
Mom! Dad!

00:01:47.695 --> 00:01:49.531
(whispering):
Oh, my God, honey!

00:01:49.572 --> 00:01:50.740
Your parents are here!

00:01:55.120 --> 00:01:57.580
Oh, God.

00:01:58.248 --> 00:01:59.999
Wait a minute,
this can't be Reese.

00:02:00.041 --> 00:02:01.084
Yep.

00:02:01.167 --> 00:02:02.335
Uh, what's the matter with you?

00:02:02.335 --> 00:02:04.087
Don't you clean
behind your ears?

00:02:04.170 --> 00:02:05.213
Look what I found!

00:02:05.255 --> 00:02:06.256
Ha-ha, five bucks!

00:02:06.339 --> 00:02:07.215
Thanks, Grandpa.

00:02:08.258 --> 00:02:10.385
So, Grandpa, did you
have a nice drive down?

00:02:10.426 --> 00:02:13.721
Huh?
I said, did you have
a nice drive down?

00:02:13.763 --> 00:02:16.224
I can't hear this one.
He sounds like girl.

00:02:16.266 --> 00:02:18.226
So, you just decided
to hop in the car

00:02:18.268 --> 00:02:19.227
and drive on down
from Canada

00:02:19.269 --> 00:02:21.229
without calling ahead, huh?

00:02:21.271 --> 00:02:22.230
How fun!

00:02:22.272 --> 00:02:24.023
Yeah, how long do you
think you'll be staying?

00:02:24.065 --> 00:02:27.235
If we're such big
inconvenience,
we go right now.

00:02:27.277 --> 00:02:28.319
No.
No, no, no, no, no.

00:02:28.361 --> 00:02:29.320
Please...
Don't be silly.

00:02:29.362 --> 00:02:32.157
Uh, Dewey, you remember
your grandparents,

00:02:32.198 --> 00:02:34.159
don't you, sweetie?

00:02:34.200 --> 00:02:36.161
He needs changing.

00:02:36.202 --> 00:02:38.037
He always needs changing.

00:02:38.079 --> 00:02:39.164
You take him.

00:02:39.205 --> 00:02:40.957
Ooh, let him sit in it.

00:02:40.999 --> 00:02:42.041
That will teach him.

00:02:43.209 --> 00:02:45.170
I don't want to take him;
he smells.

00:02:47.255 --> 00:02:51.176
Ooh, that's what happens
to little boys who squirm.

00:02:51.217 --> 00:02:52.802
Mmm...

00:02:54.137 --> 00:02:57.098
REPORTER:
It's estimated that as many
as 30,000 young people

00:02:57.348 --> 00:02:59.392
have descended on New Orleans

00:02:59.475 --> 00:03:01.561
to join in the annual
Mardi Gras festivities.

00:03:01.603 --> 00:03:04.272
At this hour police have been
called in to try and...

00:03:04.314 --> 00:03:06.566
Look at those animals
going berserk,

00:03:06.608 --> 00:03:09.903
tearing each other's
clothes off.

00:03:09.903 --> 00:03:10.570
Those are people

00:03:10.612 --> 00:03:12.280
with no respect
for authority.

00:03:12.322 --> 00:03:13.740
Eric's right,
that could be us.

00:03:13.781 --> 00:03:14.908
If we left right now

00:03:14.949 --> 00:03:16.951
we could be
in New Orleans
in five hours.

00:03:16.993 --> 00:03:18.286
How we going
to get there?

00:03:18.328 --> 00:03:19.412
And where are
we going to stay?

00:03:19.412 --> 00:03:20.914
Gentlemen, you
quibble with me

00:03:20.955 --> 00:03:23.583
about logistics
when I'm offering
you 48 hours

00:03:23.583 --> 00:03:26.002
of non-stop debauchery?

00:03:26.085 --> 00:03:29.088
This could be the greatest
weekend of our lives.

00:03:32.133 --> 00:03:33.092
Damn, Francis,

00:03:33.134 --> 00:03:34.093
you should have
known better

00:03:34.093 --> 00:03:35.386
than to eat sushi
at a truck stop.

00:03:35.428 --> 00:03:37.472
Hey, the cashier said
the yellowtail was fresh.

00:03:37.513 --> 00:03:39.432
Besides, my octopus
was excellent.

00:03:39.474 --> 00:03:42.143
Can we not talk about
the fish, please?

00:03:42.185 --> 00:03:44.229
Guys, it's like a war zone
out there.

00:03:44.270 --> 00:03:46.105
There's looting,
rioting, and now

00:03:46.147 --> 00:03:48.233
the cops are turning
a fire hose on the crowd.

00:03:48.274 --> 00:03:51.236
ALL:
Wet T-shirts!

00:03:54.447 --> 00:03:56.074
Sorry about the takeout.

00:03:56.115 --> 00:03:58.076
I don't know what the deal
is with the fridge.

00:03:58.117 --> 00:03:59.702
What do you expect?

00:03:59.744 --> 00:04:02.080
That brand is  dishufka.

00:04:03.873 --> 00:04:05.625
That's it.

00:04:05.708 --> 00:04:06.626
Fatten up on pizza.

00:04:06.709 --> 00:04:08.294
Good luck running

00:04:08.294 --> 00:04:11.464
when they come with
the dogs and chase
you into the hills.

00:04:12.632 --> 00:04:14.342
You know, I think
it's great

00:04:14.384 --> 00:04:16.344
you're able to
just hit the road

00:04:16.386 --> 00:04:17.720
without a care
in the world.

00:04:17.804 --> 00:04:20.515
Oh... right...
yeah, with me

00:04:20.556 --> 00:04:22.976
I'm always thinking
about things back home.

00:04:22.976 --> 00:04:24.978
You know, did I
leave the stove on?

00:04:25.019 --> 00:04:26.813
Is the iron plugged in?

00:04:26.813 --> 00:04:29.315
I once heard of a fire
being caused by a mouse

00:04:29.315 --> 00:04:30.316
chewing through an...

00:04:30.316 --> 00:04:31.526
Where is my coffee?

00:04:31.567 --> 00:04:34.404
Uh, it's right here, Dad,
just the way you like it.

00:04:34.404 --> 00:04:35.697
Mom, I really wish

00:04:35.697 --> 00:04:37.073
you'd put out that cigarette.

00:04:37.115 --> 00:04:38.241
It's not good
for the kids.

00:04:38.283 --> 00:04:40.076
What, you think
it'll stunt their growth?

00:04:41.119 --> 00:04:42.203
You turned out big enough.

00:04:43.454 --> 00:04:46.165
Look at him eat,
like animal!

00:04:47.208 --> 00:04:48.001
Not like Mr. Pizza

00:04:48.042 --> 00:04:50.044
with knife and fork.

00:04:50.086 --> 00:04:51.212
You know, Dad,

00:04:51.254 --> 00:04:52.755
since the last time
you were here,

00:04:52.797 --> 00:04:55.174
uh, Malcolm has been
put into a special class.

00:04:55.216 --> 00:04:56.718
I'm not surprised.

00:04:56.801 --> 00:04:58.303
No, no, no, no,
no, it's, uh,

00:04:58.344 --> 00:05:00.179
it's an advanced class.

00:05:00.221 --> 00:05:01.389
It's very challenging work.

00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:03.057
Tell him, Malcolm.

00:05:03.141 --> 00:05:05.018
Well, today we finished
reading  Grapes of Wrath

00:05:05.059 --> 00:05:06.561
and we're studying
advanced algebra.

00:05:06.561 --> 00:05:09.397
(shouting):
What is that,
shot at me?

00:05:09.397 --> 00:05:10.732
I no study algebra?

00:05:10.815 --> 00:05:12.734
It's because I go to war
when I was your age.

00:05:12.817 --> 00:05:15.903
What good is math
in war, huh?

00:05:17.322 --> 00:05:20.450
When you can provide
for your family,

00:05:20.491 --> 00:05:25.747
you can have
last piece of pizza.

00:05:26.581 --> 00:05:30.418
Dad, Hal provides
for us just fine.

00:05:30.418 --> 00:05:33.296
Which isn't easy when someone's
hogging all the pizza.

00:05:33.338 --> 00:05:35.465
You can't even keep food
in the house

00:05:35.506 --> 00:05:37.300
for my grandchild.

00:05:37.342 --> 00:05:38.468
Do you call that providing?

00:05:38.509 --> 00:05:41.262
We will get
the refrigerator fixed.

00:05:41.262 --> 00:05:42.597
For what, so
it can break again?

00:05:42.597 --> 00:05:44.307
What does a new one cost?

00:05:44.349 --> 00:05:46.601
$700, $800?

00:05:46.642 --> 00:05:49.228
I give you $800
to buy a new one!

00:05:49.270 --> 00:05:52.815
Thank God our generation knew
to save our money, to hold onto.

00:05:52.857 --> 00:05:56.444
We didn't fritter it away
on things like toys and dolls.

00:05:56.444 --> 00:05:58.780
I dressed up
piece of wood

00:05:58.863 --> 00:06:00.448
and I was happy
to have it.

00:06:00.448 --> 00:06:03.368
We will not take your money.

00:06:03.409 --> 00:06:05.119
Of course you will!

00:06:05.203 --> 00:06:06.913
We love you too much to stand by

00:06:06.954 --> 00:06:10.249
and watch your children
grow up ashamed of you.

00:06:10.291 --> 00:06:12.126
This is what family
is for.

00:06:13.419 --> 00:06:14.462
MALCOLM (over phone):
Hello.

00:06:14.462 --> 00:06:15.797
FRANCIS:
Malcolm, listen,

00:06:15.880 --> 00:06:18.049
I need to know what Mom
used to put in the hot tea

00:06:18.091 --> 00:06:19.050
when we were sick.

00:06:19.092 --> 00:06:20.176
Is she around?

00:06:20.218 --> 00:06:22.345
I think she's changing
the sheets on their bed.

00:06:22.387 --> 00:06:23.513
Grandma and Grandpa are here.

00:06:23.554 --> 00:06:25.348
(groaning):
Oh, you're kidding.

00:06:25.390 --> 00:06:27.016
So, did they knock,
or did you just hear

00:06:27.058 --> 00:06:29.018
their cloven hooves
clatter up the driveway?

00:06:29.060 --> 00:06:31.354
I can't be sure,
but I think Grandpa spit at me.

00:06:31.396 --> 00:06:33.356
Look, don't take it personally.

00:06:33.398 --> 00:06:35.733
They're primeval creatures
with tiny little hearts.

00:06:35.817 --> 00:06:38.361
Yeah, but there must be
some reason...

00:06:38.403 --> 00:06:40.363
Malcolm, they have
stupid lizard brains.

00:06:40.405 --> 00:06:41.531
They're threatened by anyone

00:06:41.572 --> 00:06:43.991
with an ounce of ambition
or intelligence.

00:06:43.991 --> 00:06:45.910
They'd eat you
if they had better teeth.

00:06:46.702 --> 00:06:49.539
This one, always on phone.

00:06:49.580 --> 00:06:50.832
That's Grandpa, isn't it?

00:06:50.873 --> 00:06:53.376
Tell him I said he's
a malevolent, poisonous troll.

00:06:53.418 --> 00:06:55.378
Francis says, "Hi."

00:06:55.420 --> 00:06:57.505
No-good delinquent.

00:06:57.588 --> 00:06:58.673
He says "Hi" back.

00:07:02.093 --> 00:07:03.553
Thank you.

00:07:03.594 --> 00:07:04.762
Hmm.

00:07:04.804 --> 00:07:06.639
Do you know this thing
makes ice cubes

00:07:06.722 --> 00:07:08.141
in both circular
and crescent shapes?

00:07:08.224 --> 00:07:09.976
How do they expect
people to decide?

00:07:10.017 --> 00:07:10.977
Well, it's nice to have

00:07:11.018 --> 00:07:12.228
something in the house
that works.

00:07:12.270 --> 00:07:13.479
Yeah.

00:07:13.521 --> 00:07:15.898
You know, maybe
in their dark,
twisted world,

00:07:15.898 --> 00:07:19.735
this is how your
parents show love.

00:07:19.735 --> 00:07:21.904
Hey, Victor,
pretty great, huh?

00:07:21.904 --> 00:07:23.489
My descending
colon's inflamed.

00:07:23.531 --> 00:07:24.365
What's great?

00:07:24.407 --> 00:07:25.491
Uh, listen, Dad,

00:07:25.533 --> 00:07:26.200
I just mailed off

00:07:26.242 --> 00:07:27.493
the mortgage
and car payments,

00:07:27.535 --> 00:07:29.579
and what with buying
the new refrigerator and all,

00:07:29.662 --> 00:07:31.914
we should probably get
that check from you right away.

00:07:31.914 --> 00:07:35.501
About that... your mother
and I decided it's no good

00:07:35.543 --> 00:07:37.920
for family to give money
to family.

00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:40.214
Always ends badly.

00:07:42.258 --> 00:07:43.092
Pulp!

00:07:43.092 --> 00:07:46.429
Who buys orange juice with pulp?

00:07:55.438 --> 00:07:56.105
How can they do this?!

00:07:56.147 --> 00:07:57.690
How can they just
offer us money

00:07:57.773 --> 00:07:58.941
and then pretend
it never happened?

00:07:58.941 --> 00:08:00.109
I am going to kill them.

00:08:00.151 --> 00:08:02.195
I swear I'm going to snap
their necks like chickens!

00:08:02.278 --> 00:08:04.113
That is not going
to pay off the debt, Lois.

00:08:04.113 --> 00:08:05.198
Unless you're
a beneficiary

00:08:05.281 --> 00:08:06.866
on some sort
of life insurance policy.

00:08:06.949 --> 00:08:07.867
What am I saying?

00:08:07.950 --> 00:08:09.243
Look, look,
why don't we just

00:08:09.285 --> 00:08:11.037
return the refrigerator?

00:08:11.078 --> 00:08:12.497
I can't.
I bought it on sale.

00:08:12.538 --> 00:08:14.040
Oh, Hal, what
are we going to do?

00:08:14.081 --> 00:08:15.041
Well, what choice
do we have?

00:08:15.082 --> 00:08:16.083
For the next
couple of weeks,

00:08:16.125 --> 00:08:17.543
until we get caught back up,

00:08:17.585 --> 00:08:19.962
we're just going to have
to work a ton of overtime.

00:08:19.962 --> 00:08:20.963
Oh, really?

00:08:20.963 --> 00:08:22.381
And who's going to look
after the kids?

00:08:22.423 --> 00:08:25.885
So, we thought
the perfect thing
might be

00:08:25.927 --> 00:08:27.136
if you could stay
a little longer

00:08:27.136 --> 00:08:29.764
and keep an eye
on the kids.

00:08:29.805 --> 00:08:31.140
I don't know.

00:08:31.140 --> 00:08:33.976
Mother and I should go.

00:08:33.976 --> 00:08:36.479
We sense tension.

00:08:36.479 --> 00:08:38.481
No!

00:08:38.481 --> 00:08:39.649
Oh, no!

00:08:40.983 --> 00:08:42.652
Oh, no, no, no, there's
no, there's no tension.

00:08:42.652 --> 00:08:45.238
We just, uh, we have
a couple of hectic
weeks coming up

00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:49.325
and we just hoped
that you could stay
a little longer.

00:08:49.408 --> 00:08:50.660
Of course.

00:08:50.743 --> 00:08:52.078
We do anything for you.

00:08:52.119 --> 00:08:53.496
We are a family.

00:08:54.997 --> 00:08:56.165
Oh, Dewey, hey, guess what.

00:08:56.165 --> 00:08:57.333
Grandma and Grandpa

00:08:57.375 --> 00:08:59.001
are going to stay
and watch you guys

00:08:59.001 --> 00:09:01.087
for the next
couple of weeks.

00:09:25.319 --> 00:09:27.113
I need a doctor.

00:09:27.154 --> 00:09:28.864
We got you something better,
man.

00:09:28.906 --> 00:09:30.741
We brought you beads!

00:09:32.118 --> 00:09:33.911
You wouldn't believe it
out there, Francis.

00:09:33.953 --> 00:09:35.121
There's free beer

00:09:35.162 --> 00:09:37.373
and the women take
their tops off

00:09:37.415 --> 00:09:38.749
when you give them beads.

00:09:38.791 --> 00:09:40.751
Is it possible we crashed
our car on the way down here

00:09:40.793 --> 00:09:42.712
and died and went to heaven?

00:09:42.753 --> 00:09:45.298
I'd welcome death right now.

00:09:45.339 --> 00:09:48.467
I can't believe this is you
talking, Francis.

00:09:49.552 --> 00:09:50.761
You're our leader.

00:09:50.803 --> 00:09:53.347
If it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't even be here.

00:09:53.389 --> 00:09:55.725
You know what?

00:09:55.766 --> 00:09:56.934
You're right.

00:09:56.976 --> 00:09:58.561
This is Mardi Gras.

00:09:58.603 --> 00:09:59.562
I can do this.

00:09:59.604 --> 00:10:00.563
Yeah.
All right.

00:10:00.605 --> 00:10:01.564
Give me those beads.

00:10:01.606 --> 00:10:03.274
Yeah!
Come on!

00:10:05.568 --> 00:10:05.693
ALL (chanting):
Francis! Francis!

00:10:05.693 --> 00:10:08.821
We're back.

00:10:08.863 --> 00:10:10.656
Still no parents?

00:10:10.698 --> 00:10:13.284
If you're going to work
all the time,

00:10:13.284 --> 00:10:15.661
don't have children.

00:10:15.703 --> 00:10:17.872
Hey, I wanted ice cream.
I don't blame you.

00:10:17.955 --> 00:10:19.165
Why do they always do that?

00:10:19.206 --> 00:10:21.584
They take you for ice cream
and stuff and never ask me.

00:10:21.626 --> 00:10:22.960
I've thought about that.

00:10:23.002 --> 00:10:27.006
And I think they see me as
the protector of the bloodline.

00:10:27.048 --> 00:10:29.592
If the future's half as bad
as Grandpa and I suspect,

00:10:29.634 --> 00:10:32.219
the only survivors are going
to be mutants,

00:10:32.261 --> 00:10:34.764
cockroaches and me...

00:10:34.805 --> 00:10:37.308
all living underwater.

00:10:37.350 --> 00:10:40.895
Let's face it:
they're backing a winner.

00:10:40.936 --> 00:10:43.689
Oh, man, I'm stuffed.

00:10:43.731 --> 00:10:46.525
I shouldn't have
had a second one.

00:10:57.370 --> 00:10:59.705
Are you okay, Grandma?

00:10:59.747 --> 00:11:01.582
'Cause I could carry
your purse for you.

00:11:01.666 --> 00:11:03.334
Or maybe your whiskey.

00:11:03.376 --> 00:11:07.713
I once strangled a border guard
with my bare hands.

00:11:07.755 --> 00:11:09.090
Just asking.

00:11:09.173 --> 00:11:12.426
So, I studied about
your country in school.

00:11:12.510 --> 00:11:13.761
Always with the books.

00:11:13.844 --> 00:11:16.681
You won't be happy till
you get eye cancer.

00:11:16.681 --> 00:11:17.723
No, really.

00:11:17.765 --> 00:11:19.767
I found the folklore
very interesting.

00:11:19.850 --> 00:11:22.103
And the history, the wars,
the revolution.

00:11:22.186 --> 00:11:24.730
It must've been very hard
for you growing up.

00:11:24.772 --> 00:11:27.650
It was.

00:11:27.692 --> 00:11:29.527
Very hard.

00:11:30.695 --> 00:11:33.114
Have a snort.

00:11:33.155 --> 00:11:35.032
Maybe later.

00:11:39.620 --> 00:11:41.080
Hey, look at
the mama's boy.

00:11:44.709 --> 00:11:46.669
You going to take that?
What?

00:11:46.711 --> 00:11:48.087
Hey, you boys!

00:11:48.129 --> 00:11:49.880
Come back here
and say that.

00:11:49.922 --> 00:11:51.674
Grandma, what
are you doing?

00:11:51.716 --> 00:11:54.885
Who's this?
Your 90-year-old bodyguard?

00:11:54.885 --> 00:11:56.887
No, no, it's okay.

00:11:56.887 --> 00:11:58.973
She's kidding.

00:12:03.060 --> 00:12:05.396
Nushkaya zibhat shinka!

00:12:07.398 --> 00:12:08.899
Ow!

00:12:10.818 --> 00:12:12.236
Grandma.

00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:15.072
Oh, geez.

00:12:16.824 --> 00:12:19.243
I don't know why you won't
tell me who did this.

00:12:19.243 --> 00:12:22.455
You know, there's no honor
in protecting a bully.

00:12:23.831 --> 00:12:25.791
Okay, it's your face.

00:12:25.833 --> 00:12:29.295
Mom, do you...?

00:12:31.255 --> 00:12:33.716
Do you like your parents?

00:12:33.758 --> 00:12:35.718
It doesn't matter
how I feel about them.

00:12:35.760 --> 00:12:37.928
It's not like I can
trade them in for someone else.

00:12:37.970 --> 00:12:39.722
You can't pick your parents.

00:12:39.764 --> 00:12:41.724
You're pretty much stuck
with who you get.

00:12:41.766 --> 00:12:43.142
I know.

00:12:46.020 --> 00:12:47.980
Anyway, they're certainly
not going to change.

00:12:48.022 --> 00:12:49.732
If things get too difficult,

00:12:49.774 --> 00:12:52.443
at least I can be grateful
that soon they'll be gone.

00:12:52.485 --> 00:12:54.445
Back to their own home?

00:12:55.571 --> 00:12:56.947
Yeah.

00:12:56.947 --> 00:12:59.575
That's what I meant.

00:13:04.789 --> 00:13:06.457
Never thought
I'd beat you home.

00:13:06.499 --> 00:13:09.043
They had us keep
both registers open
till midnight.

00:13:09.126 --> 00:13:10.836
What kind of idiot
needs a beach ball

00:13:10.878 --> 00:13:12.838
at 11:00 at night?

00:13:12.880 --> 00:13:14.465
Did you make
the kids' lunches?

00:13:14.465 --> 00:13:15.841
Oh, right.
No, not yet.

00:13:15.883 --> 00:13:17.468
I've been kind of
tied up here.

00:13:17.468 --> 00:13:19.845
You know, I discovered something
kind of interesting, yeah.

00:13:19.887 --> 00:13:23.224
Now, it appears
the circular cubes cool quicker,

00:13:23.307 --> 00:13:25.142
but the crescent ones
last longer.

00:13:25.142 --> 00:13:28.854
Oh, for God's sake, Hal,
will you quit playing around?

00:13:28.896 --> 00:13:30.981
That is a rectal thermometer.

00:13:30.981 --> 00:13:33.859
I'm going to go brush my teeth.

00:13:33.901 --> 00:13:36.028
You know, I ask you
to do one simple thing.

00:13:36.070 --> 00:13:38.697
I can't do it all myself,
you know?

00:13:47.081 --> 00:13:48.499
Hey.

00:13:48.541 --> 00:13:49.792
Are you upset
about something?

00:13:49.834 --> 00:13:52.002
Look, I'm tired.
I just got off a double shift.

00:13:52.044 --> 00:13:53.462
I want to go to bed.

00:13:53.504 --> 00:13:54.964
Sure.

00:13:55.005 --> 00:13:56.423
You just seemed a little
snappish about the cubes.

00:13:56.465 --> 00:13:59.301
Because I'm tired of you
not helping out around here.

00:13:59.343 --> 00:14:00.845
All right, Lois.

00:14:00.928 --> 00:14:03.806
I know we're both
a little raw from
the last five days,

00:14:03.848 --> 00:14:05.099
but that's no reason

00:14:05.140 --> 00:14:07.476
to dump your frustration
with your parents onto me.

00:14:07.518 --> 00:14:08.519
On you?
Oh, yes.

00:14:08.519 --> 00:14:10.020
Because that's what
this is all about.

00:14:10.020 --> 00:14:11.272
You're angry at them

00:14:11.313 --> 00:14:13.566
and you're displacing
your anger onto me.

00:14:13.607 --> 00:14:15.192
I mean, it is classic.

00:14:15.192 --> 00:14:17.278
Oh, I'm displacing, am I?

00:14:17.361 --> 00:14:19.864
Kind of like how you're
focusing all your attention

00:14:19.864 --> 00:14:21.699
on that monstrosity
in the kitchen?

00:14:21.740 --> 00:14:22.908
See, I knew it!

00:14:22.950 --> 00:14:24.201
You don't like
the refrigerator.

00:14:24.243 --> 00:14:27.121
I hate that refrigerator.

00:14:27.204 --> 00:14:29.290
I hate its tubular handles.

00:14:29.373 --> 00:14:30.916
I hate the way
it keeps the butter.

00:14:30.958 --> 00:14:32.918
I hate that, when
I'm trying to sleep,

00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:34.378
I can hear it whirring.

00:14:34.420 --> 00:14:35.921
Oh, no, you can't.

00:14:35.963 --> 00:14:37.548
Yes, yes, I can.

00:14:37.548 --> 00:14:38.924
No. Not the 5100.

00:14:38.966 --> 00:14:40.926
That motor housing is
four layers thick, Lois.

00:14:40.968 --> 00:14:41.969
Four layers.

00:14:42.052 --> 00:14:46.932
And it keeps things too cold.

00:14:48.809 --> 00:14:51.770
That is unfounded
criticism, Lois.

00:14:51.812 --> 00:14:53.022
Unfounded and unfair.

00:14:53.063 --> 00:14:58.235
And until you apologize,
I will be in the garage.

00:14:58.235 --> 00:15:01.488
IDA:
I told you there was tension.

00:15:10.998 --> 00:15:12.416
Hey, Grandma.

00:15:12.499 --> 00:15:14.335
Grandpa wanted to
know if you could...

00:15:14.376 --> 00:15:15.085
Ow!

00:15:15.085 --> 00:15:16.253
What was that for?

00:15:16.253 --> 00:15:18.589
See, you not even try
to defend yourself.

00:15:18.589 --> 00:15:19.965
Why are you so weak?

00:15:20.007 --> 00:15:21.967
I wasn't expecting
for you to hit me.

00:15:22.009 --> 00:15:23.344
That's what
they're counting on

00:15:23.427 --> 00:15:26.472
when they kick down your door
in the middle of the night.
Ow!

00:15:26.513 --> 00:15:28.265
Grandma, stop this.

00:15:28.307 --> 00:15:30.142
Come on, show me what you got.
Come on, come on.

00:15:30.184 --> 00:15:31.977
Grandma, I'm not
going to hit you.

00:15:32.019 --> 00:15:33.979
A kid should never
have to say that.

00:15:34.021 --> 00:15:35.314
So how you going
to fight these people

00:15:35.356 --> 00:15:37.149
when they throw you in the truck
and take you away?

00:15:37.191 --> 00:15:38.817
You going to read to them?

00:15:38.859 --> 00:15:40.027
You going to impress them
to death

00:15:40.110 --> 00:15:41.820
with your giant
know-it-all brain?

00:15:41.862 --> 00:15:42.988
Huh?

00:15:43.030 --> 00:15:45.991
Look, I'm smart, okay?
That's who I am.

00:15:46.033 --> 00:15:46.992
And if you don't
like the fact

00:15:47.034 --> 00:15:48.994
that I'm taking
high school math classes

00:15:49.036 --> 00:15:50.621
and reading great books,

00:15:50.621 --> 00:15:51.997
well, too bad.

00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:54.291
Because I'm going
to be successful
and maybe even rich

00:15:54.291 --> 00:15:56.293
because I am smart,
okay?

00:15:56.377 --> 00:15:58.128
So just leave me alone.

00:15:58.128 --> 00:16:00.130
And I'm going
to be just fine!

00:16:00.130 --> 00:16:01.298
Ow.

00:16:01.298 --> 00:16:02.132
Ha!

00:16:02.132 --> 00:16:04.760
I warned you
about the eyes.

00:16:07.137 --> 00:16:09.056
What's this about?

00:16:09.098 --> 00:16:11.725
I want to show you
something.

00:16:11.767 --> 00:16:14.144
Something just for you.

00:16:14.144 --> 00:16:18.232
I have waited many years
for this moment,

00:16:18.273 --> 00:16:20.484
but now that
you are old enough,

00:16:20.567 --> 00:16:23.946
I want to give you
something

00:16:23.988 --> 00:16:25.990
close to my heart.

00:16:26.073 --> 00:16:27.032
Wow, is this stuff real?

00:16:27.074 --> 00:16:28.325
From the big war.

00:16:28.367 --> 00:16:31.662
Wow, is this a
real gas mask?

00:16:31.704 --> 00:16:33.539
Gas mask, yes.

00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:35.040
Field glasses...

00:16:35.082 --> 00:16:36.834
chocolate K-rations.

00:16:36.875 --> 00:16:42.047
You get yourself nice girl
with this, I tell you.

00:16:42.089 --> 00:16:44.049
This is so awesome,
Grandpa.

00:16:44.091 --> 00:16:45.426
You're the best.

00:16:45.509 --> 00:16:47.511
This is so cool.

00:16:47.511 --> 00:16:49.555
God in heaven!

00:16:49.596 --> 00:16:50.681
What?!

00:16:50.681 --> 00:16:51.557
This is live grenade!

00:16:51.598 --> 00:16:53.934
Do not let go of handle
or we both die.

00:16:54.018 --> 00:16:55.352
I don't want to die!

00:16:55.394 --> 00:16:56.270
Don't worry, you won't.

00:16:56.311 --> 00:16:59.189
All we have to do
is find, find the pin.

00:16:59.189 --> 00:17:01.108
Find the pin,
put the pin back in,

00:17:01.150 --> 00:17:03.027
and then everything
will fine.

00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:08.115
Quit crying like baby.

00:17:08.157 --> 00:17:09.199
What's going on?

00:17:09.199 --> 00:17:10.534
Grandpa gave me
a live grenade.

00:17:10.617 --> 00:17:12.703
It's really cool.
You want to hold it?

00:17:12.703 --> 00:17:14.538
No, no, no.
It's for you, not him.

00:17:14.621 --> 00:17:16.206
Oh, my God, we have
to call the police.

00:17:16.206 --> 00:17:17.207
No, no police.

00:17:17.291 --> 00:17:19.209
No police, please.

00:17:19.209 --> 00:17:20.669
There's no reason to panic.

00:17:20.711 --> 00:17:22.212
Yes, there is.

00:17:22.212 --> 00:17:24.673
You gave Reese a live grenade,
and he's a total idiot.

00:17:24.715 --> 00:17:25.841
He's right, I am.

00:17:25.883 --> 00:17:27.217
I don't think I should
have it anymore. Here.

00:17:27.301 --> 00:17:29.219
No, you hold on to that.

00:17:29.219 --> 00:17:30.637
No, I'm tired of this game.

00:17:30.679 --> 00:17:32.306
I think what I really want
to do is go lie down now.

00:17:32.389 --> 00:17:33.098
No!

00:17:45.235 --> 00:17:46.111
Hello.

00:17:47.738 --> 00:17:48.989
What was that?

00:17:49.073 --> 00:17:50.574
What was what?

00:17:56.955 --> 00:17:58.499
What happened here?!

00:17:58.540 --> 00:18:00.000
We can't be sure.

00:18:00.042 --> 00:18:01.335
Grandpa gave me
a live grenade

00:18:01.376 --> 00:18:02.377
and it was going to blow

00:18:02.419 --> 00:18:03.629
and I didn't mean
to drop it.

00:18:03.670 --> 00:18:05.506
But Malcolm threw it
in the fridge.

00:18:05.547 --> 00:18:08.425
You gave my son
a live grenade?

00:18:08.425 --> 00:18:11.261
You brought live ammunition
into this house?

00:18:11.261 --> 00:18:14.431
What is the matter
with you people?!

00:18:14.515 --> 00:18:17.434
Are you completely insane?!

00:18:17.434 --> 00:18:19.937
You don't ever talk to us
like that, do you hear me?

00:18:20.020 --> 00:18:23.107
Vuschka robotisch
ber doya kraup.

00:18:23.107 --> 00:18:25.526
Mom, I-I...

00:18:25.567 --> 00:18:29.279
I just... I-I just
mean that...

00:18:29.279 --> 00:18:30.280
All right, all right.

00:18:30.280 --> 00:18:32.282
Lois, take the boys
in the other room.

00:18:32.282 --> 00:18:34.451
But, Hal...
Now.

00:18:34.535 --> 00:18:36.120
Come on.

00:18:39.790 --> 00:18:42.835
Why don't we sit down?

00:18:47.673 --> 00:18:50.634
First off, I'm not here
to try to sort out

00:18:50.634 --> 00:18:53.804
the complicated relationship
you have with the woman I love.

00:18:53.846 --> 00:18:55.305
That's not my place.

00:18:55.305 --> 00:18:58.183
And I know it would be folly
to try to put a price

00:18:58.225 --> 00:19:00.477
on the deep
psychological trauma

00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:02.646
that you've caused Lois
through the years.

00:19:02.688 --> 00:19:06.191
But let me take
a stab at it anyway.

00:19:06.233 --> 00:19:08.485
$3,000 sound okay to you?
What?

00:19:08.485 --> 00:19:10.571
Well, that would pretty much
cover the fridge,

00:19:10.654 --> 00:19:13.699
the collateral damage,
pay off a few credit cards,

00:19:13.740 --> 00:19:16.118
and finally get the transmission
fixed on my car.

00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:18.036
Because of
what just happened,

00:19:18.078 --> 00:19:20.789
you want us
to loan you $3,000?

00:19:20.831 --> 00:19:24.751
Please, I know you're
uncomfortable lending to family,

00:19:24.793 --> 00:19:27.671
so let's be clear.

00:19:29.381 --> 00:19:32.926
With one phone call, I could
have your * thrown in jail

00:19:32.968 --> 00:19:34.344
for child endangerment.

00:19:35.345 --> 00:19:40.309
So... this money
I'm asking for, it's not a loan.

00:19:40.350 --> 00:19:43.145
It's blackmail.

00:19:43.187 --> 00:19:50.736
It's like your brother
Vasclev all over again.

00:19:50.736 --> 00:19:51.236
It's like your brother
Vasclev all over again.