WEBVTT 00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:08.638 Here we go 00:00:09.764 --> 00:00:13.101 Greedy Pig Piggy Bank commercial, take one. 00:00:16.062 --> 00:00:17.897 And... action! 00:00:17.897 --> 00:00:20.734 Greedy Pig, the piggy bank that makes saving 00:00:20.734 --> 00:00:22.569 f-aaahhhhhhhhhhh! 00:00:22.569 --> 00:00:24.654 Cut! 00:00:24.654 --> 00:00:26.156 Bowie, what are you doing? 00:00:26.156 --> 00:00:28.700 Obviously this commercial takes place in the sky, 00:00:28.700 --> 00:00:30.035 so I'm falling to my death. 00:00:30.035 --> 00:00:32.662 Kind of a dark premise for a toy commercial, 00:00:32.662 --> 00:00:33.830 but you're the boss. 00:00:33.830 --> 00:00:36.666 It doesn't take place in the sky! 00:00:36.666 --> 00:00:37.917 That's just a blue screen. 00:00:37.917 --> 00:00:39.044 We're going 00:00:39.044 --> 00:00:40.045 to digitally replace it later 00:00:40.045 --> 00:00:41.046 with a different background. 00:00:41.046 --> 00:00:42.881 You're in a little boy's bedroom. 00:00:42.881 --> 00:00:44.257 Just stick to the script. 00:00:44.257 --> 00:00:45.300 Got it. 00:00:45.925 --> 00:00:48.219 And... action! 00:00:49.512 --> 00:00:50.430 Greedy Pig 00:00:50.430 --> 00:00:51.514 sniffs out coins and eats them... 00:00:54.350 --> 00:00:56.644 storing them safely in his belly. 00:00:56.644 --> 00:00:57.771 Cut! 00:00:58.646 --> 00:01:00.732 You said I'm in a little boy's bedroom. 00:01:00.732 --> 00:01:01.483 I don't want to wake him up. 00:01:01.483 --> 00:01:02.901 Or his parents. 00:01:02.901 --> 00:01:04.319 They'll probably call the cops, 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:06.321 since I'm creeping around some kid's bedroom. 00:01:06.321 --> 00:01:08.698 You're playing the little boy! 00:01:08.698 --> 00:01:11.326 Aster, I wish you'd agreed to do this. 00:01:11.326 --> 00:01:13.995 I told you, enough people think I'm a little boy already. 00:01:13.995 --> 00:01:15.997 Like this morning when I was walking to work... 00:01:15.997 --> 00:01:18.166 "Are you lost, little boy?" 00:01:18.166 --> 00:01:20.335 I had to tell them I wasn't a little boy. 00:01:20.335 --> 00:01:24.172 And then ask for directions because I actually was lost. 00:01:24.172 --> 00:01:25.924 Let's just try it again. 00:01:27.467 --> 00:01:29.886 Okay, remembering you're a little boy, 00:01:29.886 --> 00:01:31.888 and this is your room... 00:01:31.888 --> 00:01:33.139 And... action! 00:01:33.139 --> 00:01:35.141 Hewlp! Hewlp! 00:01:35.141 --> 00:01:37.560 There's people in my woom I don't know! 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.105 Stwanger danger! Stwanger danger! 00:01:40.105 --> 00:01:41.773 Cut! 00:01:41.773 --> 00:01:43.983 Bowie... 00:01:43.983 --> 00:01:44.734 you're fired! 00:01:46.611 --> 00:01:48.113 We'll make the background a little girl's room 00:01:48.113 --> 00:01:49.155 and find a new kid. 00:01:49.155 --> 00:01:50.323 I'll do it! 00:01:50.323 --> 00:01:51.366 We'll flip a coin. 00:01:52.492 --> 00:01:53.326 Call it! 00:01:53.326 --> 00:01:54.369 Heads! 00:01:54.369 --> 00:01:55.411 Hello. Is Coin there, please? 00:02:02.168 --> 00:02:04.003 Great. Now we're out of coins. 00:02:04.003 --> 00:02:05.630 Buckle up 00:02:05.630 --> 00:02:07.382 And hold on tight 00:02:07.382 --> 00:02:10.552 You and me on a wild ride 00:02:10.552 --> 00:02:13.888 We're gonna own it and change the game 00:02:13.888 --> 00:02:16.975 Together we'll make it all the way 00:02:16.975 --> 00:02:19.853 Through all the ups and all the downs, downs 00:02:19.853 --> 00:02:21.062 We'll always find our way around 00:02:21.062 --> 00:02:21.146 So here we go whoa-oa-oh 00:02:21.146 --> 00:02:23.773 Here we go whoa-oa-oh 00:02:23.773 --> 00:02:28.236 Yeah, here we go whoa-oa-oh 00:02:28.236 --> 00:02:29.863 You got me 00:02:29.863 --> 00:02:31.406 I got you 00:02:31.406 --> 00:02:32.991 Here we go 00:02:38.705 --> 00:02:39.914 Ugh! 00:02:39.914 --> 00:02:42.750 Why did I choose today to wear my penny loafers? 00:02:46.045 --> 00:02:48.381 I'm glad that unpleasantness is behind me! 00:02:48.381 --> 00:02:50.633 Yaaah! 00:02:50.633 --> 00:02:53.052 But there's worse unpleasantness in front of me. 00:02:54.637 --> 00:02:56.639 Bowie... 00:02:56.639 --> 00:02:58.141 what are you doing? 00:02:58.141 --> 00:02:59.559 A cover shoot for Ditz Magazine. 00:03:01.811 --> 00:03:03.229 Why? 00:03:03.229 --> 00:03:04.772 Did every model on earth read last month's issue 00:03:04.772 --> 00:03:06.774 and jump off a roof? 00:03:06.774 --> 00:03:09.736 If not, they will when they see the next issue. 00:03:10.778 --> 00:03:12.405 No... 00:03:12.405 --> 00:03:15.783 Geneva said she does everything Ditz Magazine tells her to. 00:03:16.993 --> 00:03:18.745 Bowie! 00:03:18.745 --> 00:03:19.829 How could you... 00:03:20.997 --> 00:03:24.000 wear an A-line skirt with chunky boots? 00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:25.919 If you're going to do this, let's do it right. 00:03:26.211 --> 00:03:28.588 "Take your relationship to the next level 00:03:28.588 --> 00:03:30.298 by adjusting his collar. 00:03:30.298 --> 00:03:33.134 It creates intimacy, shows you care, 00:03:33.134 --> 00:03:35.053 and brings your lips close to his." 00:03:36.638 --> 00:03:38.556 Jarvis! Let me fix your collar! 00:03:38.556 --> 00:03:41.059 I don't have a collar. 00:03:42.310 --> 00:03:43.937 Yes, you do. 00:03:48.566 --> 00:03:51.486 Oh, phew. Your caller went away. 00:03:51.486 --> 00:03:53.071 It was probably a store 00:03:53.071 --> 00:03:54.864 ordering more Greedy Pig Piggy Banks. 00:03:54.864 --> 00:03:56.282 Kids love them! 00:03:56.282 --> 00:03:57.909 Those pigs are flying off the shelves! 00:04:02.997 --> 00:04:04.082 What are you doing? 00:04:04.082 --> 00:04:08.253 I once said I'll do work "when pigs fly." 00:04:08.253 --> 00:04:10.255 It's just an expression. 00:04:10.255 --> 00:04:11.756 The pigs aren't actually flying. 00:04:11.756 --> 00:04:13.758 Really? 00:04:36.197 --> 00:04:36.281 Mwa ha ha ha! 00:04:36.281 --> 00:04:38.116 Ha ha ha! 00:04:38.116 --> 00:04:40.368 Looks like the reprogramming I did 00:04:40.368 --> 00:04:42.036 worked perfectly! 00:04:42.036 --> 00:04:44.163 Knickknack will be ruined, and I'll be rich! 00:04:48.126 --> 00:04:50.003 Whoever said "change is good" 00:04:50.003 --> 00:04:52.297 must've also stolen money from kids. 00:04:54.215 --> 00:04:55.258 Mwa ha ha ha! 00:05:00.346 --> 00:05:01.514 Okay. 00:05:01.514 --> 00:05:02.765 I've been trying to figure out what to do, 00:05:02.765 --> 00:05:03.891 and I came up with a plan. 00:05:03.891 --> 00:05:04.600 Me too! 00:05:04.726 --> 00:05:06.144 I gave this kid in my neighbourhood 00:05:06.144 --> 00:05:07.979 a Greedy Pig Piggy Bank. 00:05:07.979 --> 00:05:09.230 I'm going to borrow my uncle's car 00:05:09.230 --> 00:05:11.149 and stake out the kid's house tonight. 00:05:11.149 --> 00:05:12.984 We'll see if anyone's breaking in to steal the money. 00:05:12.984 --> 00:05:15.153 A stakeout? All night? 00:05:15.153 --> 00:05:16.487 I'm in. 00:05:16.487 --> 00:05:18.489 Just the two of us, working hand-in-hand, 00:05:18.489 --> 00:05:19.949 side by side, 00:05:19.949 --> 00:05:21.993 collar to collar. 00:05:21.993 --> 00:05:24.329 Just you and me... 00:05:24.329 --> 00:05:27.665 and Mrs. Bubkes. 00:05:27.665 --> 00:05:29.334 I only have my learner's permit, 00:05:29.334 --> 00:05:31.002 so I need a licensed driver in the car. 00:05:31.002 --> 00:05:33.755 Can't... move! 00:05:33.755 --> 00:05:34.964 Exactly. 00:05:34.964 --> 00:05:36.466 We can't move from this spot 00:05:36.466 --> 00:05:37.925 until we catch the person responsible 00:05:37.925 --> 00:05:39.385 for the missing coins! 00:05:39.385 --> 00:05:42.138 Right, Mrs. Bubkes? 00:05:43.139 --> 00:05:45.266 Righty-oh. 00:05:49.103 --> 00:05:51.439 Although that typo wasn't great, 00:05:51.439 --> 00:05:53.107 and I couldn't see Geneva through the pie, 00:05:53.107 --> 00:05:54.859 I actually got to have lunch with her! 00:05:54.859 --> 00:05:56.611 Then later, 00:05:56.611 --> 00:05:57.445 when I was in the back alley, 00:05:57.445 --> 00:05:58.863 I could feel her 00:05:58.863 --> 00:06:00.406 licking the pie off my face 00:06:00.406 --> 00:06:02.867 and purring like a kitten. 00:06:02.867 --> 00:06:06.537 Wow, sounds like she was a real animal. 00:06:06.537 --> 00:06:09.415 A real animal. 00:06:09.415 --> 00:06:12.043 And now that we've had lunch here, 00:06:12.043 --> 00:06:14.796 it's time to take things to the next level... 00:06:14.796 --> 00:06:15.713 an actual date. 00:06:18.800 --> 00:06:19.842 Thanks to me, 00:06:19.842 --> 00:06:21.219 the new issue of Ditz magazine 00:06:21.219 --> 00:06:22.804 has an article called 00:06:22.804 --> 00:06:24.722 "Go Out With a Guy With Brown Hair." 00:06:27.725 --> 00:06:30.728 "Go Out with a Guy with Clown Hair." 00:06:32.063 --> 00:06:33.856 What? Clown hair? 00:06:33.856 --> 00:06:35.483 How do all these typos keep happening? 00:06:35.483 --> 00:06:38.027 I have no idea! 00:06:38.027 --> 00:06:38.986 Here. 00:06:40.655 --> 00:06:42.407 Thanks! 00:06:42.407 --> 00:06:43.658 You're a true friend. 00:06:50.706 --> 00:06:54.085 maybe give up. 00:06:54.085 --> 00:06:56.462 never catch me. 00:06:58.172 --> 00:07:00.716 Never catch thief. 00:07:00.716 --> 00:07:03.970 English hard. 00:07:03.970 --> 00:07:05.555 I'm with Mrs. Bubkes. 00:07:05.555 --> 00:07:06.973 This night is pointless. 00:07:06.973 --> 00:07:09.183 Completely pointless. 00:07:10.226 --> 00:07:12.854 Wait! I see something! 00:07:12.854 --> 00:07:14.564 Suspect has a dark coat. 00:07:14.564 --> 00:07:16.190 It's approaching the house! 00:07:16.190 --> 00:07:18.025 It's climbing a tree by the child's bedroom! 00:07:18.025 --> 00:07:19.402 It's nibbling an acorn! 00:07:20.570 --> 00:07:22.071 It's a squirrel. 00:07:22.071 --> 00:07:24.740 Maybe you're right. No one's coming. 00:07:24.740 --> 00:07:26.492 But someone's leaving! 00:07:26.492 --> 00:07:28.035 Really? 00:07:29.745 --> 00:07:30.746 The Greedy Pig Piggy Bank 00:07:30.746 --> 00:07:32.081 is leaving the house! 00:07:32.081 --> 00:07:33.416 Where could it be going? 00:07:33.416 --> 00:07:34.584 I know! 00:07:34.584 --> 00:07:36.085 You and I should stay in the car... 00:07:36.085 --> 00:07:37.336 alone... just the two of us... 00:07:37.336 --> 00:07:38.588 making sure each other's shirts 00:07:38.588 --> 00:07:40.131 are neat and presentable... 00:07:40.131 --> 00:07:41.674 while Mrs. Bubkes catches the pig 00:07:41.674 --> 00:07:43.092 before it gets to market 00:07:43.092 --> 00:07:45.595 or goes "wee wee wee" all the way home. 00:07:45.595 --> 00:07:46.429 Good idea! 00:07:46.429 --> 00:07:48.973 No! Stop! 00:07:48.973 --> 00:07:51.434 Nnnnngh! 00:07:51.434 --> 00:07:53.686 It's not enough to catch one pig. 00:07:53.686 --> 00:07:55.104 We need to follow it. 00:07:55.104 --> 00:07:56.272 It will probably lead us back 00:07:56.272 --> 00:07:57.106 to whoever's behind all this. 00:07:57.106 --> 00:08:00.485 Good thinking. 00:08:00.485 --> 00:08:03.279 Buckle up and hold on tight! 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:05.615 You and me on a wild ride! 00:08:05.615 --> 00:08:07.533 And Mrs. Bubkes, of course. 00:08:07.533 --> 00:08:09.285 Of course. 00:08:17.210 --> 00:08:18.878 This is exciting! 00:08:18.878 --> 00:08:20.880 I've never been in a high-speed chase before. 00:08:20.880 --> 00:08:22.465 You still haven't. 00:08:28.179 --> 00:08:31.182 Go around! 00:08:34.435 --> 00:08:35.978 Go around? 00:08:37.980 --> 00:08:41.192 Do you know how fast you weren't going? 00:08:41.192 --> 00:08:42.652 I'm sorry. 00:08:42.652 --> 00:08:44.153 I'm having a problem with a pig. 00:08:44.153 --> 00:08:45.154 What did you call me? 00:08:45.154 --> 00:08:46.572 No! 00:08:46.572 --> 00:08:48.157 I wasn't talking about you! 00:08:48.157 --> 00:08:49.367 I would never call you a pig, 00:08:49.367 --> 00:08:51.327 Officer... 00:08:51.327 --> 00:08:54.163 Hamm? 00:08:54.163 --> 00:08:55.540 It's pronounced Hammemm. 00:08:55.540 --> 00:08:58.501 Two "M"s. 00:08:58.501 --> 00:09:01.337 I'm going to need to see your license. 00:09:05.758 --> 00:09:08.177 This is a learner's permit. 00:09:08.177 --> 00:09:10.096 You need to be driving with a licensed adult. 00:09:10.096 --> 00:09:11.013 I am. 00:09:13.349 --> 00:09:14.517 Then I'm gonna need 00:09:14.517 --> 00:09:15.268 to see your license, Ma'am. 00:09:15.268 --> 00:09:17.186 No problem! 00:09:21.190 --> 00:09:23.526 Problem. 00:09:23.526 --> 00:09:24.986 I really need to see it. 00:09:37.081 --> 00:09:39.250 Now I know why you didn't want me to see this. 00:09:39.250 --> 00:09:42.253 can explain... 00:09:42.253 --> 00:09:44.213 No need, Ma'am. 00:09:44.213 --> 00:09:46.632 Everyone looks hideous in their driver's license photo. 00:09:52.221 --> 00:09:54.223 So, how was your date with Geneva? 00:09:54.223 --> 00:09:56.559 It was fine, except that guys kept coming up to her 00:09:56.559 --> 00:09:59.979 and saying, "Why are you dating this clown?" 00:09:59.979 --> 00:10:02.106 I guess it's to be expected with that hair. 00:10:02.106 --> 00:10:04.150 I was wearing a hat. 00:10:06.110 --> 00:10:07.445 But the hair, the pie in the face, 00:10:07.445 --> 00:10:08.571 it's all going to pay off 00:10:08.571 --> 00:10:09.905 when Geneva gets the next issue. 00:10:11.866 --> 00:10:13.701 I'll let you off with a warning this time, 00:10:13.701 --> 00:10:16.495 but try and drive a little faster. 00:10:16.495 --> 00:10:19.457 And show us men in blue a little respect. 00:10:19.457 --> 00:10:21.292 I will, officer. I promise. 00:10:24.795 --> 00:10:26.714 Great! We lost the pig! 00:10:26.714 --> 00:10:29.634 Aw, come on! 00:10:29.634 --> 00:10:30.593 I meant the piggy bank. 00:10:30.593 --> 00:10:31.552 It got away! 00:10:31.552 --> 00:10:33.054 I did? 00:10:33.054 --> 00:10:34.472 I will. 00:10:34.472 --> 00:10:35.431 I will... catch pig. 00:10:35.431 --> 00:10:37.099 English still hard. 00:10:38.768 --> 00:10:40.394 Oof! 00:10:42.855 --> 00:10:45.816 Well, I guess it's just the two of us now. 00:10:45.816 --> 00:10:47.652 No one between us. 00:10:50.571 --> 00:10:52.156 Or beside us. 00:10:52.156 --> 00:10:53.199 Where are you going? 00:10:53.199 --> 00:10:54.408 I can't drive 00:10:54.408 --> 00:10:55.409 without a licensed adult in the car. 00:10:58.371 --> 00:11:00.539 You know, it's such a beautiful night. 00:11:00.539 --> 00:11:01.582 Why don't you and I forget the car 00:11:01.582 --> 00:11:02.541 and just... 00:11:02.541 --> 00:11:03.709 Walk? 00:11:03.709 --> 00:11:06.379 Take the bus! 00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:08.089 Excuse me. Pardon me. 00:11:08.089 --> 00:11:10.549 Just... need... to... 00:11:12.593 --> 00:11:14.220 I think we ran over something. 00:11:14.220 --> 00:11:17.056 Aah! My *! 00:11:17.056 --> 00:11:19.058 Thank you! 00:11:30.820 --> 00:11:33.280 Okay. I got here first. 00:11:33.280 --> 00:11:34.281 But how am I going to get these coins out of here 00:11:34.281 --> 00:11:36.367 without anyone noticing? 00:11:45.209 --> 00:11:46.419 This is perfect. 00:11:46.419 --> 00:11:49.630 No one will know where the coins are. 00:11:52.425 --> 00:11:53.384 Uh-oh. 00:11:54.635 --> 00:11:57.096 Thanks for coming on the stakeout with me. 00:11:57.096 --> 00:11:59.932 Too bad tonight was such a waste of time. 00:11:59.932 --> 00:12:02.184 Maybe not. 00:12:10.109 --> 00:12:11.610 Piper... 00:12:11.610 --> 00:12:13.779 you doing that just now made me realize something. 00:12:13.779 --> 00:12:15.448 Really? 00:12:15.448 --> 00:12:18.617 Something I should have realized a long time ago. 00:12:18.617 --> 00:12:21.120 Yes! You should have! 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:24.915 I... I... 00:12:24.915 --> 00:12:27.501 should stop wearing shirts with collars. 00:12:27.501 --> 00:12:30.129 They're such a hassle! 00:12:30.129 --> 00:12:31.756 Anyway, thanks for fixing it for me. 00:12:31.756 --> 00:12:33.257 You're a real friend. 00:12:35.843 --> 00:12:37.178 Friend. 00:12:37.178 --> 00:12:38.012 Great. 00:12:39.847 --> 00:12:42.391 Well, I guess 00:12:42.391 --> 00:12:44.477 we'll never figure out where those pigs go at night. 00:12:44.477 --> 00:12:48.105 Actually, I think we will. 00:12:50.983 --> 00:12:52.318 Someone's under there! 00:12:52.318 --> 00:12:54.612 Whoever it is must be the thief! 00:12:56.405 --> 00:12:57.531 We're going to finally find out 00:12:57.531 --> 00:12:59.283 who's responsible for all this. 00:13:03.037 --> 00:13:05.414 I mean, yes! It's me! Candace! 00:13:05.414 --> 00:13:07.166 Of course it's you! 00:13:07.166 --> 00:13:08.542 We have to tell Mrs. Bubkes 00:13:08.542 --> 00:13:10.002 we caught the thief. 00:13:10.002 --> 00:13:11.587 And that we got all the kids' money back! 00:13:15.007 --> 00:13:16.342 And this... 00:13:21.764 --> 00:13:23.349 Huh... 00:13:23.349 --> 00:13:25.518 There's a babushka in this one. 00:13:25.518 --> 00:13:27.853 Must belong to a Meeskatanian kid. 00:13:37.780 --> 00:13:38.989 Good morning, Geneva. 00:13:38.989 --> 00:13:40.950 Notice anything special about me? 00:13:42.701 --> 00:13:44.328 I do! 00:13:44.328 --> 00:13:47.665 You forgot to wear pants over your diaper! 00:13:47.665 --> 00:13:50.876 This isn't a diaper. It's a * cast. 00:13:53.128 --> 00:13:54.839 Although since I can't take it off for six weeks, 00:13:54.839 --> 00:13:56.173 it will also serve as a diaper. 00:13:57.967 --> 00:14:02.137 The point is, I have a pain in the *. 00:14:02.137 --> 00:14:03.973 Really? 00:14:03.973 --> 00:14:05.641 Ditz Magazine says I should kiss someone 00:14:05.641 --> 00:14:07.142 who has a pain in the *. 00:14:07.142 --> 00:14:08.727 Isn't that weird? 00:14:08.727 --> 00:14:10.354 If you think that's weird, wait till you read 00:14:10.354 --> 00:14:12.898 what the next issue wants you to do. 00:14:12.898 --> 00:14:16.402 Well, if Ditz Magazine says I should kiss you, 00:14:16.485 --> 00:14:18.279 Don't listen to Ditz! 00:14:18.279 --> 00:14:21.282 None of the tips in that worthless magazine work! 00:14:21.282 --> 00:14:23.534 Really? Good to know! 00:14:25.452 --> 00:14:26.871 Great! 00:14:26.871 --> 00:14:30.708 I took a pie, ruined my hair, jumped in front of a bus, 00:14:30.708 --> 00:14:32.877 and waxed my legs for nothing! 00:14:32.877 --> 00:14:34.461 The magazine told you to wax your legs? 00:14:34.461 --> 00:14:36.755 No, you did! 00:14:36.755 --> 00:14:38.465 So I'd look good for the swimsuit issue. 00:14:38.465 --> 00:14:41.051 Oh yeah.