WEBVTT 00:00:45.268 --> 00:00:48.148 Again and again and again, 00:00:52.229 --> 00:00:54.509 how sweet he'd been. 00:00:54.509 --> 00:00:55.629 Got you! 00:00:55.629 --> 00:01:00.189 After war was declared, Teddy joined the Air Force. 00:01:02.389 --> 00:01:05.449 Ursula was grateful to be rising through the ranks 00:01:05.449 --> 00:01:07.129 in the civil service. 00:01:07.229 --> 00:01:11.829 It meant she could get up every day and actively fight Hitler... 00:01:13.069 --> 00:01:16.189 ..if only from a chair in the office. 00:01:16.189 --> 00:01:19.110 She would never be in charge. 00:01:19.110 --> 00:01:22.350 That was still for the Maurices of this world. 00:01:24.110 --> 00:01:27.430 A quick word with you, Ursula. Do you want some tea? 00:01:27.430 --> 00:01:30.430 I was about to seek some out. That sort of day. No tea, thank you. 00:01:30.430 --> 00:01:33.410 Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't meet Tedders and Jimbo tonight. 00:01:33.410 --> 00:01:36.070 Maurice! Erm, "Mr Todd" while we're working. 00:01:36.070 --> 00:01:41.030 We agreed. Mr Todd, plans have been made. 00:01:41.030 --> 00:01:42.870 Yes, and they have to change. 00:01:42.870 --> 00:01:46.030 Although it seems to have escaped everyone in our family's notice, 00:01:46.030 --> 00:01:47.671 I'm rather important round here. 00:01:47.671 --> 00:01:50.711 Then say you have to leave early. For goodness' sake! 00:01:50.711 --> 00:01:53.551 You realise it might be the last time you see them? 00:01:53.551 --> 00:01:56.031 Why do you always have to be so macabre? 00:01:56.031 --> 00:01:58.551 Because there's a war on! Yes, there is, 00:01:58.551 --> 00:02:01.871 which means I don't have time to gad around town with Teddy and Jimmy. 00:02:52.633 --> 00:02:55.633 I just want him dead. 00:02:55.633 --> 00:02:58.033 I think about it all the time, 00:02:58.033 --> 00:03:00.293 how I would love to be the one that just kills him. 00:03:00.293 --> 00:03:02.873 Not to worry, my lovely. We will do it for you. 00:03:02.873 --> 00:03:06.313 See, I will shoot him, Teddy will bomb him, 00:03:06.313 --> 00:03:08.633 and then we'll bring you home his moustache. 00:03:08.633 --> 00:03:10.481 And do what with it? Burn it. 00:03:10.505 --> 00:03:12.353 No, donate it to the British Museum. 00:03:15.834 --> 00:03:18.514 I keep thinking I'll wake up and it was all a dream, 00:03:18.514 --> 00:03:21.354 that I'm not trapped in this endless nightmare. 00:03:21.354 --> 00:03:24.234 Chin up. It won't last forever. Nothing does. 00:03:24.234 --> 00:03:27.314 I wish I could go instead of you. 00:03:28.314 --> 00:03:30.514 I really do. It isn't fair. 00:03:30.974 --> 00:03:33.754 It would take one of his generals being awfully heroic. 00:03:33.754 --> 00:03:35.354 They'd have to shoot him in the back. 00:03:35.354 --> 00:03:37.914 And then they'd be shot. And would it even make a difference? 00:03:37.914 --> 00:03:41.074 Goebbels would just run things. I think it WOULD make a difference. 00:03:41.074 --> 00:03:43.355 It's Hitler that people are obsessed with. 00:03:43.355 --> 00:03:45.395 Maybe you will bomb him, Teddy. 00:03:45.395 --> 00:03:48.515 Get one of his houses or something. You know, squash him. I'll try. 00:03:48.515 --> 00:03:50.075 It would be wonderful to be the chap 00:03:50.075 --> 00:03:52.715 who gets to shoot him right between the eyes. Bang! 00:03:52.715 --> 00:03:55.635 I'd like to buy you all a drink. 00:03:55.635 --> 00:03:57.635 People have been buying us drinks all night. 00:03:57.635 --> 00:04:01.915 I'm starting to see double. Beautiful boys. 00:04:01.915 --> 00:04:05.475 Full of life. But evil's evil, isn't it? 00:04:06.875 --> 00:04:10.835 And the gods have always enjoyed a bit of sacrifice. 00:04:13.356 --> 00:04:14.856 Same again? Same again. 00:04:16.776 --> 00:04:18.716 Don't you wonder sometimes, 00:04:18.716 --> 00:04:22.436 if just one small thing had been changed in the past - 00:04:22.436 --> 00:04:25.076 I mean, if Hitler had died at birth 00:04:25.076 --> 00:04:29.676 or if someone had kidnapped him as a baby and brought him up in, 00:04:29.676 --> 00:04:32.436 I don't know, a Quaker house... 00:04:32.436 --> 00:04:35.556 ..surely things would be different. 00:04:35.556 --> 00:04:37.356 Do you think Quakers could kidnap a baby? 00:04:37.356 --> 00:04:40.096 If they knew what was going to happen, they might. 00:04:40.096 --> 00:04:42.317 But nobody knows what's going to happen. 00:04:42.317 --> 00:04:46.397 And, anyway, even if they did, could you kill a baby? 00:04:47.237 --> 00:04:48.717 Yes, 00:04:48.717 --> 00:04:51.197 if it would keep you safe. 00:04:53.557 --> 00:04:56.197 Jimmy, this was a poor choice of establishment. Depressing. 00:04:56.197 --> 00:04:59.277 What? No, no, no, no, no. There's music downstairs. 00:04:59.277 --> 00:05:02.237 Excellent fun. Wanted to show it to you. 00:05:03.837 --> 00:05:06.077 Oops! Oops! 00:05:06.077 --> 00:05:08.677 Come and see. But you have to shhh. 00:05:08.677 --> 00:05:10.478 It's a secret. 00:05:17.038 --> 00:05:18.678 I suppose we should follow him. 00:05:18.678 --> 00:05:22.518 Yes, he seems in danger of becoming unwieldy. 00:05:39.121 --> 00:05:41.161 He seemed in his element. 00:05:43.921 --> 00:05:47.161 Did you have any idea that he likes to frequent places like that? 00:05:47.161 --> 00:05:48.809 No! Do you care? 00:05:48.833 --> 00:05:50.481 No. 00:05:52.201 --> 00:05:54.562 He could be dead in a week. 00:05:54.562 --> 00:05:57.842 He should do what he wants. Izzie will be thrilled. 00:05:57.842 --> 00:06:00.482 "Noble tradition, all that. 00:06:00.482 --> 00:06:02.442 "All the best poets and so forth." 00:06:06.122 --> 00:06:09.042 This is me. You should leave me here. 00:06:20.962 --> 00:06:22.723 Be as safe as you can. 00:06:24.923 --> 00:06:26.203 Will do. 00:06:27.683 --> 00:06:29.403 Fly very carefully. 00:06:31.323 --> 00:06:34.443 Try not to die. I'll do my best. 00:06:45.883 --> 00:06:47.163 Teddy? 00:06:57.524 --> 00:07:00.664 Bad luck to cross on the stairs, Miss Todd. 00:07:00.664 --> 00:07:02.964 You're going the wrong way. I forgot my knitting. 00:07:02.964 --> 00:07:06.164 Ursula's nightly ritual involved gathering in the basement 00:07:06.164 --> 00:07:08.844 with the other tenants of the boarding house. 00:07:08.844 --> 00:07:11.604 Miss Todd. Sorry. Hello. 00:07:15.724 --> 00:07:18.564 Ursula thought of Teddy in his plane... 00:07:19.604 --> 00:07:22.525 ..somewhere over Germany right now. 00:07:29.765 --> 00:07:31.405 Shall I take Emile for a moment? 00:07:32.925 --> 00:07:35.525 Why don't I take Emile? I'm sorry. 00:07:39.125 --> 00:07:40.885 Hello! 00:07:42.925 --> 00:07:46.205 You're very good with babies, Miss Todd. 00:07:46.205 --> 00:07:48.805 You shouldn't wait much longer. 00:08:26.367 --> 00:08:28.167 Hello? 00:08:32.007 --> 00:08:34.367 Hello there, my love. 00:08:34.367 --> 00:08:36.847 We'll get you out of here in a jiffy. 00:08:36.847 --> 00:08:39.727 What's that, my darling? 00:08:43.527 --> 00:08:47.808 Baby. We'll find your baby. Don't you worry about that, my love. 00:08:55.208 --> 00:08:56.968 Don't go. 00:09:02.288 --> 00:09:05.328 So glad I'm not going to die alone. 00:09:05.328 --> 00:09:07.768 You're going to be fine, my darling. 00:09:07.768 --> 00:09:10.408 Stay awake. Keep talking. 00:09:13.648 --> 00:09:15.008 You know... 00:09:17.009 --> 00:09:20.769 ..I saw Hitler once. Did you? Really? 00:09:22.249 --> 00:09:24.089 I was in the mountains. 00:09:26.089 --> 00:09:27.529 I waved. 00:09:30.529 --> 00:09:32.569 Should have stayed in Germany. 00:09:34.129 --> 00:09:36.689 Tried to get him. Well, someone's going to get him. 00:09:36.689 --> 00:09:38.569 Don't you worry about that, my darling. 00:09:40.249 --> 00:09:42.129 I don't know why we live. 00:09:43.969 --> 00:09:47.690 We just die. You're not going to die. Squeeze my hand. 00:09:51.810 --> 00:09:54.090 It's so kind of you to be with me. 00:09:57.330 --> 00:09:59.450 I just want a good death. 00:10:02.050 --> 00:10:04.050 How do you have a good death? 00:10:11.450 --> 00:10:13.250 Hurry! Over here! 00:10:15.171 --> 00:10:17.251 I want my Ted. 00:10:54.692 --> 00:10:57.652 Ursula worked at the Home Office by day, 00:10:57.652 --> 00:11:00.412 cataloguing London's injured and dead, 00:11:00.412 --> 00:11:04.172 and at night, she volunteered as an air-raid warden, 00:11:04.172 --> 00:11:08.612 seeing the casualties of the relentless bombing raids first-hand. 00:11:08.612 --> 00:11:10.492 If they can't tell you their name, 00:11:10.492 --> 00:11:12.633 then you call them "my lovely", "my darling", "my dear" - 00:11:12.633 --> 00:11:15.053 any term of endearment like that. 00:11:15.053 --> 00:11:16.821 It comforts them. Yes, all right. 00:11:16.845 --> 00:11:18.213 You're doing superbly. 00:11:18.213 --> 00:11:20.253 It's just a little trick. Course. 00:11:20.253 --> 00:11:23.133 Apparently, there's quite a lot of people unaccounted for. 00:11:23.133 --> 00:11:26.013 Get down! 00:11:30.373 --> 00:11:33.713 Thank you. Go and see if there were some lucky ones in there. 00:11:46.814 --> 00:11:48.054 Hello? 00:12:08.935 --> 00:12:10.495 Hello? 00:12:12.815 --> 00:12:14.095 Hello. I'm coming. 00:12:15.655 --> 00:12:18.575 Hello, my lovely. My name's Ursula. 00:12:18.575 --> 00:12:21.175 I'm with the volunteer Air Raid Precautions department. 00:12:21.175 --> 00:12:23.215 What's your name, sweetheart? 00:12:23.215 --> 00:12:26.575 Again? 00:12:26.575 --> 00:12:29.615 Baby. Baby? 00:12:40.776 --> 00:12:42.616 His name is Emile. 00:12:44.496 --> 00:12:45.656 Emile? 00:12:48.136 --> 00:12:50.616 We'll find him. We'll find him. 00:12:50.616 --> 00:12:53.376 But, first, I'm going to get you to a stretcher, all right? 00:13:06.096 --> 00:13:07.617 God. 00:13:20.737 --> 00:13:23.337 There's a woman in there, alive, only just. 00:13:23.337 --> 00:13:25.137 We should hurry. I didn't get her name. 00:13:25.137 --> 00:13:27.977 I was looking for her baby. Did you find her baby? 00:13:27.977 --> 00:13:31.817 Deceased, I'm afraid. I'll take you to the mother. 00:13:32.857 --> 00:13:36.218 Hurry! Stretcher here, now! 00:13:37.298 --> 00:13:39.538 Shit. Sorry. 00:14:00.778 --> 00:14:03.258 Surrounded by death, 00:14:03.258 --> 00:14:07.419 Ursula had never wanted to live more. 00:14:07.423 --> 00:14:09.983 For some reason, there was no air-raid siren 00:14:09.983 --> 00:14:12.383 that night when the first bombs fell. 00:14:15.063 --> 00:14:17.303 They both died instantly. 00:14:30.225 --> 00:14:34.185 In this life, Ursula was frequently lost in thought. 00:14:35.705 --> 00:14:39.425 From an early age, she wondered about the meaning of life, 00:14:39.425 --> 00:14:42.905 which at first amused and impressed her parents, 00:14:42.905 --> 00:14:45.705 and later became concerning. 00:14:45.705 --> 00:14:47.625 No. Why not? 00:14:47.625 --> 00:14:50.065 What is the point in studying philosophy? 00:14:50.065 --> 00:14:52.065 Where to begin? 00:14:52.065 --> 00:14:54.145 To discover life's purpose. 00:14:54.145 --> 00:14:57.346 Intellectual curiosity - dangerous in a woman, and thrilling. 00:14:57.346 --> 00:14:59.194 Shut up, Izzie. Sylvie, can you not? 00:14:59.218 --> 00:15:00.666 I'm so sorry. 00:15:00.666 --> 00:15:03.866 Izzie, cease to speak. Ha-ha! Very witty. 00:15:03.866 --> 00:15:06.666 Looking for the meaning of life, are you, little bear? 00:15:06.666 --> 00:15:10.146 Seems a good enough question on which to pin a degree - 00:15:10.146 --> 00:15:14.586 the meaning of life, the purpose of life. 00:15:14.586 --> 00:15:16.666 Are we alive? Do we exist? 00:15:16.666 --> 00:15:19.506 Teddy, leave cake for everybody else, please. 00:15:19.506 --> 00:15:21.346 The cake no longer exists. 00:15:21.346 --> 00:15:24.026 When you've got some answers, tell the rest of us, would you? 00:15:24.026 --> 00:15:25.907 Who bloody cares? 00:15:25.907 --> 00:15:27.827 The meaning of your life is to have a baby, 00:15:27.827 --> 00:15:29.587 which is exactly what you'll end up doing. 00:15:29.587 --> 00:15:32.587 Why Oxford should waste a degree on you, I can't imagine. 00:15:32.587 --> 00:15:36.267 You're a repulsive human being. You repel me. 00:15:36.267 --> 00:15:38.467 I happen to know the meaning of life, 00:15:38.467 --> 00:15:40.307 in case anyone is interested. 00:15:42.787 --> 00:15:44.587 Take care of each other. 00:15:47.587 --> 00:15:49.067 That's all I ask. 00:16:04.871 --> 00:16:07.271 The hysteria among her female friends 00:16:07.271 --> 00:16:11.751 surrounding the dank and puffy Austrian confused Ursula... 00:16:12.991 --> 00:16:16.391 ..but she fell in with a more intellectual crowd, 00:16:16.391 --> 00:16:20.431 who all agreed Hitler was tremendously flawed. 00:16:22.511 --> 00:16:27.151 The only question was how and when he might be deposed. 00:16:55.112 --> 00:16:58.233 A clever and ambitious German lawyer called Jurgen 00:16:58.233 --> 00:16:59.713 had fallen in love with her. 00:17:25.714 --> 00:17:27.394 Hello, little one. 00:17:31.714 --> 00:17:33.074 Frieda. 00:17:39.275 --> 00:17:41.035 Hello, Frieda. 00:17:42.795 --> 00:17:44.395 Welcome, Frieda. 00:17:47.155 --> 00:17:48.675 Well done. 00:17:48.675 --> 00:17:51.355 Well done, well done, well done, well done. 00:17:59.035 --> 00:18:02.475 Frieda, slow down! 00:18:02.475 --> 00:18:05.196 She's all right. She's enjoying herself. 00:18:05.196 --> 00:18:07.596 No, she has weak lungs. 00:18:07.596 --> 00:18:09.636 She has to be careful. 00:18:25.596 --> 00:18:27.396 Can I ask you something? 00:18:29.196 --> 00:18:34.317 When you're in Germany, and you hear people say things against the Jews, 00:18:34.317 --> 00:18:36.157 do you speak up at all? 00:18:38.877 --> 00:18:41.197 The people I know don't talk that way. 00:18:41.197 --> 00:18:44.277 And when you see shops owned by Jews with their windows shattered 00:18:44.277 --> 00:18:48.117 and graffiti all over them, as we see here in the press, 00:18:48.117 --> 00:18:49.837 do you do anything? 00:18:53.197 --> 00:18:54.597 Like what? 00:18:56.397 --> 00:18:58.357 Get into a fist fight? 00:18:59.837 --> 00:19:02.718 No, I don't. 00:19:05.398 --> 00:19:08.118 And you wouldn't either. I wouldn't live there. 00:19:08.118 --> 00:19:10.238 No fighting, please. 00:19:11.798 --> 00:19:14.078 This is supposed to be a special time. 00:19:14.078 --> 00:19:15.718 Ursula's only here for the week. 00:19:19.998 --> 00:19:23.358 I wish Jurgen could have come. They keep him very busy. 00:19:23.358 --> 00:19:24.998 "They"... 00:19:24.998 --> 00:19:26.758 ..meaning the Nazi Party. 00:19:26.758 --> 00:19:30.399 He had to join the Party or he couldn't work, 00:19:30.399 --> 00:19:34.399 and we need people in the Party with cooler heads. 00:19:43.479 --> 00:19:45.519 I need to put Frieda down for her nap. 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:52.399 How's everything? 00:19:54.879 --> 00:19:58.080 I don't know how receptive she'll be to the conversation. 00:19:58.080 --> 00:19:59.640 We still have to have it. 00:20:01.040 --> 00:20:04.080 Frieda! Come on! 00:20:04.080 --> 00:20:08.760 Your father and I are worried about you, 00:20:08.760 --> 00:20:11.120 and so are your brothers and sister. 00:20:14.920 --> 00:20:16.560 If there's going to be a war... 00:20:17.840 --> 00:20:21.120 ..we wondered if there was any way 00:20:21.120 --> 00:20:23.980 for all of you to come to Fox Corner. 00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:28.281 Maurice could find work for Jurgen. 00:20:28.281 --> 00:20:30.261 Jurgen will never agree to that. 00:20:35.841 --> 00:20:37.561 Just you and Frieda, then. 00:20:42.641 --> 00:20:45.241 Choose my country over my husband? 00:20:45.241 --> 00:20:48.161 I don't know. I don't know what the right thing is. 00:20:53.041 --> 00:20:54.921 Let's see how things develop. 00:20:56.922 --> 00:20:59.842 Jurgen's fairly confident that there'll be no war. 00:20:59.842 --> 00:21:02.722 Good. So is Maurice. 00:21:05.482 --> 00:21:08.322 You have to pay very close attention, 00:21:08.322 --> 00:21:10.842 because if they're wrong, 00:21:10.842 --> 00:21:13.882 you have to get out before the borders close. 00:21:16.722 --> 00:21:21.002 I will, Dad. I'll pay very close attention. 00:21:32.843 --> 00:21:35.283 I'll try to get out and visit you in the next few months. 00:21:35.283 --> 00:21:37.123 Yes, all right. 00:21:38.923 --> 00:21:41.443 Would you like that - if Grandma came to visit? 00:21:46.483 --> 00:21:48.283 The day war was declared, 00:21:48.283 --> 00:21:51.923 Ursula ran to the British embassy, dragging Frieda by the hand. 00:21:53.204 --> 00:21:54.524 The gates were padlocked 00:21:54.524 --> 00:21:57.444 and there were no lights on in the building. 00:21:57.444 --> 00:22:01.284 "They've gone," the passer-by told her. 00:22:01.284 --> 00:22:02.844 "You've missed them." 00:22:06.324 --> 00:22:09.644 Jurgen had died in a bombing raid in '44... 00:22:11.124 --> 00:22:13.004 ..and later that year, 00:22:13.004 --> 00:22:15.524 Teddy was shot down over Berlin. 00:22:48.285 --> 00:22:49.805 Why is it there? 00:22:54.246 --> 00:22:55.966 The British bombed the zoo. 00:22:57.486 --> 00:22:59.566 Lots of the animals escaped. 00:23:06.726 --> 00:23:08.886 Ursula was astonished daily 00:23:08.886 --> 00:23:11.406 that she and her daughter were still alive. 00:23:13.126 --> 00:23:15.206 Their stomachs were empty... 00:23:16.526 --> 00:23:20.207 ..except for two half-raw potatoes eaten the day before. 00:23:31.527 --> 00:23:34.127 If Frieda hadn't been sick, 00:23:34.127 --> 00:23:37.687 they might have joined the exodus of people heading west, 00:23:37.687 --> 00:23:39.567 away from the Russians... 00:23:40.847 --> 00:23:43.847 ..but there was no way she would survive such a journey. 00:24:07.408 --> 00:24:10.648 Get up. You have to keep moving. 00:24:13.408 --> 00:24:15.048 We have to. 00:24:32.969 --> 00:24:34.369 Just sit. 00:24:36.009 --> 00:24:37.249 Sit. 00:27:02.614 --> 00:27:05.614 I know. 00:27:34.895 --> 00:27:36.135 Yes. 00:27:37.615 --> 00:27:40.216 I was going to tell you about the chickens. 00:27:40.216 --> 00:27:44.816 Your grandmother got chickens during the last war... 00:27:46.456 --> 00:27:48.496 ..because we were also worried about food. 00:27:48.496 --> 00:27:50.776 We thought we could eat their eggs. 00:27:51.776 --> 00:27:55.496 But she kept the chickens even when the war was over, 00:27:55.496 --> 00:27:57.896 I think because she fell in love with them. 00:28:02.336 --> 00:28:08.336 Then, one day, young Uncle Teddy, young Uncle Jimmy 00:28:08.937 --> 00:28:13.097 opened up the chicken coop when they weren't supposed to... 00:28:14.457 --> 00:28:19.537 ..because they wanted to surprise everybody with a chicken parade. 00:29:35.460 --> 00:29:37.420 As she drifted into sleep... 00:29:38.740 --> 00:29:43.180 ..Ursula had the terrible sense that she'd forgotten to do something. 00:29:45.620 --> 00:29:48.900 She found herself trying to remember 00:29:48.900 --> 00:29:52.380 why she had come to Germany in the first place. 00:29:54.700 --> 00:29:57.100 There had been some task. 00:29:59.900 --> 00:30:01.300 What was it? 00:30:12.781 --> 00:30:14.621 I hear the baby nearly died. 00:30:23.301 --> 00:30:26.941 "Fragile" was the word they used for her. 00:30:28.621 --> 00:30:32.942 What's wrong? I don't know. 00:30:32.942 --> 00:30:38.822 It's melancholia. It's melancholia. It's nothing to be frightened of. 00:30:42.742 --> 00:30:44.782 Teddy? Excuse me. 00:30:52.622 --> 00:30:54.422 Ursula, a word. 00:30:58.822 --> 00:31:00.582 No. What? 00:31:02.743 --> 00:31:05.463 Please don't do this. Please don't what? 00:31:05.463 --> 00:31:08.063 I don't know. What? 00:31:09.343 --> 00:31:10.943 What is it? What?! 00:31:13.503 --> 00:31:14.943 It's about Teddy. 00:31:16.823 --> 00:31:18.223 He caught one. 00:31:20.943 --> 00:31:22.103 No. 00:31:24.543 --> 00:31:25.743 Yes. 00:31:27.463 --> 00:31:29.703 Very tough. Very tough. 00:31:32.264 --> 00:31:33.704 This war is... 00:31:35.984 --> 00:31:37.384 ..very evil. 00:31:44.264 --> 00:31:47.104 Go ahead - take the rest of the day off. I'll clear it. 00:31:48.384 --> 00:31:50.224 Do you need someone to take you home? 00:31:53.624 --> 00:31:54.984 No. 00:32:04.665 --> 00:32:06.585 Ooh! You all right? 00:32:06.585 --> 00:32:08.305 Let me help you. 00:32:44.666 --> 00:32:45.866 Ursula? 00:32:48.026 --> 00:32:50.586 Ursula Todd? Remember me? 00:32:51.786 --> 00:32:53.066 Dr Kellet? 00:32:54.906 --> 00:32:59.467 Your father hunted me down, thought you might enjoy a visit. 00:32:59.467 --> 00:33:02.587 I do remember you. 00:33:02.587 --> 00:33:08.427 I was quite young. Yes, but very bright and interesting. 00:33:10.347 --> 00:33:15.507 You thought you'd been here before. Do you believe me? 00:33:18.667 --> 00:33:23.507 Or are you pretending? Anything's possible. 00:33:23.507 --> 00:33:25.027 That's what gives me hope. 00:33:28.788 --> 00:33:30.308 I heard you... 00:33:32.188 --> 00:33:33.948 ..lost a brother in the war. 00:33:36.708 --> 00:33:38.468 I didn't misplace him. 00:33:40.188 --> 00:33:45.668 I didn't put him down and forget where. 00:33:46.988 --> 00:33:48.988 He was murdered 00:33:48.988 --> 00:33:53.068 by some other poor chap in a killing machine. 00:33:57.269 --> 00:33:59.269 I lost my son in the war. 00:34:02.829 --> 00:34:05.709 I do feel as though I misplaced him, 00:34:05.709 --> 00:34:08.669 and he's liable to show up again any minute. 00:34:14.069 --> 00:34:16.429 But as you said... 00:34:18.509 --> 00:34:20.109 ..he was killed. 00:34:22.389 --> 00:34:23.950 How do you go on? 00:34:27.710 --> 00:34:32.070 Amor fati - a love of fate. 00:34:33.230 --> 00:34:37.190 Nietzsche was drawn to the concept. Did we ever talk about that? 00:34:38.630 --> 00:34:41.870 I hope not. I was ten. 00:34:43.910 --> 00:34:47.470 It means simple acceptance of what comes to us, 00:34:47.470 --> 00:34:50.190 regarding it as neither bad nor good. 00:34:51.791 --> 00:34:54.791 "Werde, der du bist," as he would have it. 00:34:54.791 --> 00:34:56.391 Do you know what that means? 00:34:57.591 --> 00:35:01.671 It means "become who you are". Nietzsche got that from Pindar... 00:35:02.911 --> 00:35:06.151 ..who put it rather better. 00:35:06.351 --> 00:35:11.511 "Become such as you are, having learned what that is." 00:35:11.511 --> 00:35:13.791 I'll tell you who I became. 00:35:15.031 --> 00:35:16.471 Yes, why don't you? 00:35:19.871 --> 00:35:21.352 A corpse. 00:35:24.112 --> 00:35:25.392 A corpse... 00:35:27.152 --> 00:35:29.752 ..among corpses. 00:35:29.752 --> 00:35:31.672 But you're breathing, 00:35:31.672 --> 00:35:34.592 so your analogy is highly inaccurate. 00:35:39.992 --> 00:35:41.952 If I have been here before... 00:35:43.312 --> 00:35:44.992 ..and if I'm coming again... 00:35:46.392 --> 00:35:51.153 ..next time, I'll do so much better. 00:35:52.273 --> 00:35:56.233 I keep thinking, "If I could just remember..." 00:35:57.393 --> 00:36:00.233 It's maddening not to remember. 00:36:02.433 --> 00:36:05.993 But if I could just remember, 00:36:05.993 --> 00:36:10.193 if I could just get there soon enough... 00:36:10.193 --> 00:36:13.153 Get where? Munich. 00:36:13.153 --> 00:36:16.513 If I could have gone to Munich soon enough, 00:36:16.513 --> 00:36:18.674 I could have changed everything. 00:36:18.674 --> 00:36:22.354 You couldn't. Why? 00:36:23.354 --> 00:36:27.874 Because the world is the world. 00:36:27.874 --> 00:36:31.194 I hate it. 00:36:38.074 --> 00:36:40.114 I hate it here. 00:36:48.235 --> 00:36:50.075 I miss my brother. 00:36:54.315 --> 00:36:55.795 I miss my son. 00:36:59.355 --> 00:37:02.515 But we have no choice. 00:37:15.235 --> 00:37:17.596 You have no choice. 00:38:19.258 --> 00:38:20.958 Good shots for a girl. 00:38:20.958 --> 00:38:24.298 My little bear, you're a real Annie Oakley. 00:39:32.721 --> 00:39:35.601 She has bad dreams often, 00:39:35.601 --> 00:39:38.681 and a kind of deja vu all the time. 00:39:38.681 --> 00:39:40.801 Really? 00:39:40.801 --> 00:39:42.881 She has said to me more than once 00:39:42.881 --> 00:39:45.441 that she thinks she's been here before. 00:39:45.441 --> 00:39:47.201 Perhaps she has. 00:39:48.681 --> 00:39:50.642 Dr Kellet, you came highly recommended. 00:39:50.642 --> 00:39:52.442 I hope I wasn't misinformed. 00:39:52.442 --> 00:39:54.682 Her reality is her reality. 00:39:54.682 --> 00:39:57.042 Perhaps it's a neurological blip in her brain. 00:39:57.042 --> 00:39:59.642 Perhaps it's objective truth. Does it matter? 00:39:59.642 --> 00:40:02.442 What she feels is what she feels. 00:40:03.642 --> 00:40:06.002 Well, fine. 00:40:09.202 --> 00:40:12.442 Very good. 00:40:14.922 --> 00:40:17.122 What is that? 00:40:17.122 --> 00:40:20.483 It's a snake with its tail in its mouth. 00:40:20.483 --> 00:40:25.403 It's a symbol representing the circularity of the universe. 00:40:25.403 --> 00:40:27.163 What? 00:40:27.163 --> 00:40:31.403 The idea is that there is no such thing as linear time. 00:40:31.403 --> 00:40:34.363 We're always in the past, we're always in the future, 00:40:34.363 --> 00:40:36.783 which is to say, neither exists. 00:40:36.783 --> 00:40:38.263 There is only the now. 00:40:39.883 --> 00:40:42.563 I just want her to be happy. 00:40:42.563 --> 00:40:45.243 She seems to find the world such a frightening place. 00:40:45.243 --> 00:40:49.524 But it is a frightening place. That makes perfect sense. 00:40:49.524 --> 00:40:54.764 That being said, amor fati. What? 00:40:54.764 --> 00:40:57.644 Have you read any Nietzsche? 00:40:59.124 --> 00:41:00.524 I'm ten. 00:41:12.084 --> 00:41:17.525 What if we could come back and live it all over... 00:41:19.925 --> 00:41:23.925 ..again and again and again? 00:41:25.765 --> 00:41:27.245 "What if?" 00:41:30.325 --> 00:41:33.326 This is me. You should leave me here. 00:41:39.886 --> 00:41:41.206 Teddy? 00:41:45.846 --> 00:41:47.206 Love you. 00:41:53.286 --> 00:41:55.766 Ursula? What? 00:41:58.846 --> 00:42:00.206 Thank you. 00:42:15.927 --> 00:42:18.687 Ursula, a word. 00:42:39.328 --> 00:42:42.928 Looks delish. I'll dish it up. 00:42:48.888 --> 00:42:51.688 Why is everyone so quiet? This is a party. 00:42:54.968 --> 00:42:57.408 I think I might have to lie down. 00:42:57.408 --> 00:43:01.129 Don't lie down. Stay for the cake. You haven't even had cake. 00:43:01.129 --> 00:43:03.529 If she wants to lie down, she can lie down. 00:43:07.689 --> 00:43:10.169 Teddy used to say, "Wouldn't it be great 00:43:10.169 --> 00:43:12.129 "if we could do it all again?" 00:43:12.129 --> 00:43:15.689 Do it all again? Yes. 00:43:15.689 --> 00:43:20.009 Come back and try to put right all the things we did wrong. Yes. 00:43:21.049 --> 00:43:23.229 Live our favourite moments again. 00:43:23.229 --> 00:43:25.469 You couldn't pay me to do this again. 00:43:27.129 --> 00:43:28.370 What about you? 00:43:30.250 --> 00:43:32.170 I'd do it again. 00:43:32.170 --> 00:43:37.210 I love being alive. Well, you have your children intact. 00:43:37.210 --> 00:43:40.890 You have most of yours, and grandchildren, 00:43:40.890 --> 00:43:44.650 a wonderful husband, a house, Jimmy's on his way home. 00:43:44.650 --> 00:43:47.770 You have plenty to be thankful for in spite of everything. 00:43:47.770 --> 00:43:49.290 Easy on your mother, dear. 00:43:51.050 --> 00:43:52.650 Thank you, Izzie. 00:43:57.011 --> 00:44:00.051 Hugh, it's your birthday. You're very elderly now. 00:44:00.051 --> 00:44:03.851 All right! Would you do it all again in spite of everything? 00:44:03.851 --> 00:44:06.691 My God, yes. 00:44:06.691 --> 00:44:10.651 I'd do it all again just to see Ursula take her first steps. 00:44:10.651 --> 00:44:13.251 I understand I've never been a favourite, 00:44:13.251 --> 00:44:16.091 but I do feel everyone could be more subtle about it. 00:44:16.091 --> 00:44:18.891 I'd do it again to see Pamela 00:44:18.891 --> 00:44:21.371 beat Maurice at tennis for the first time. 00:44:21.371 --> 00:44:23.211 The look on his face. 00:44:33.732 --> 00:44:37.212 I would definitely return. 00:44:37.212 --> 00:44:40.132 Return in many guises. That wasn't an option. 00:44:40.132 --> 00:44:42.332 I don't care. 00:44:42.332 --> 00:44:44.492 I'd be a spy. 00:44:44.492 --> 00:44:48.612 I'd be an ardent lover of an entrapped Bulgarian princess. 00:44:48.612 --> 00:44:51.212 That sounds like something you might have already done. 00:44:51.212 --> 00:44:54.893 Not yet, but you're right - never say never. 00:44:54.893 --> 00:44:59.293 What about you, little bear? Would you do it all over again? 00:45:00.973 --> 00:45:02.533 I told Teddy I would. 00:45:05.413 --> 00:45:07.973 I told Teddy it would be wonderful. 00:45:33.454 --> 00:45:37.734 Got any inside information for us, little bear? 00:45:37.734 --> 00:45:40.014 When's the bloody war going to be over? 00:45:40.014 --> 00:45:42.934 You know, by Christmas. 00:45:44.774 --> 00:45:46.294 Are we winning? 00:45:49.334 --> 00:45:51.314 We choose to believe we are. 00:45:55.615 --> 00:45:59.295 I don't suppose you'd consider leaving work, 00:45:59.295 --> 00:46:01.055 stay with us at Fox Corner? 00:46:01.055 --> 00:46:03.615 London is so dangerous now. 00:46:03.615 --> 00:46:05.335 I'm very careful. 00:46:09.055 --> 00:46:13.295 I knew a chap in the trenches who lit a match. 00:46:13.295 --> 00:46:16.615 Bob's your uncle - German sniper shot his head clean off. 00:46:16.615 --> 00:46:19.255 Good chap. Name of Rogerson. 00:46:19.255 --> 00:46:21.896 Same as the baker's in the village. No relation. 00:46:21.896 --> 00:46:23.656 Poor fellow. 00:46:29.136 --> 00:46:31.136 You know what I took from it? 00:46:33.256 --> 00:46:38.056 You keep your head below the parapet and your light beneath a bushel. 00:46:40.056 --> 00:46:41.936 I know you don't mean that. 00:46:43.176 --> 00:46:45.336 Not really. Yes, I do. 00:46:47.056 --> 00:46:51.657 I do. I would rather you were a coward than dead, little bear. 00:46:53.977 --> 00:46:57.937 I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you. 00:47:07.497 --> 00:47:10.657 You never talk about your war, 00:47:10.657 --> 00:47:14.017 what you did, what you saw. 00:47:18.657 --> 00:47:22.018 I saw the same thing every soldier sees. 00:47:23.818 --> 00:47:26.458 God and the devil. 00:47:26.458 --> 00:47:30.218 God and the devil. Death everywhere... 00:47:31.738 --> 00:47:36.378 ..and an extraordinary amount of human kindness.