You got the Gori-Rabbitz strap, Takahashi? They're sold out everywhere!
Whoa, you're right! Let me see!
What? Is it that hot?
You bought it without knowing?
They're crazy in demand right now!
Seriously? I just bought it on a whim.
Of course I knew that, dumb*!
This was worth the six hours I stood in line for it!
Can I see it too?
Mr. Matsuzaki?!
This violates school rules. I'm confiscating it.
My six hours got split into a normal gorilla and rabbit...
Six hours?
- So you actually worked to get it? - Hey, what's that?
Um... A game console.
Come on! I'm confiscating it!
You too! What is that?
Um, an authentic mahjong table.
I don't care! I'm confiscating it!
And you! What's that?
Um. A kebab.
Unnecessary! Confiscated!
Don't bring anything that does not pertain to your studies!
Seriously?
Scary...
Mr. Matsuzaki is the PE teacher and student counselor.
Listen! School isn't your place to * around!
Most of the students are afraid of him.
As you might expect, they hate him too.
- *y-Matsu is so annoying! - Seriously, *y-Matsu is the worst.
- Don't bother coming to our class, Nosy-Matsu. - Pervy-Matsu!
Matsuzaki is so repulsive. Yucky-Matsu!
He probably loves checking himself out in the mirror. Vain-Matsu.
- I bet he's actually a super masochist. - But they take it too far.
- Man! That's one *y-Matsu, right, pal? - Personally, I don't think he's that bad.
Hey, Nendou! Don't bully Saiki!
Gah, he came back!
- For timid students like me, he is a dependable ally.
Matsuzaki seriously pisses me off!
What, this again?
He took my Gori-Rabbitz!
I wish there was some way could make him pay!
That *y-Nosy-Yucky-Pervy-Vain-SuperMaso-Matsu!
Yeah, * that *y-Nosy-Yucky-Pervy-Vain-SuperMaso-Matsu!
Is that some kind of spell?
Let's go get back at him!
How can we?
I've got a plan.
A way to make hell known to that *y-Nosy-Yucky-Pervy-Vain-SuperMaso-Matsu!
Oh boy, oh boy.
The heck is he doing?
This is tough.
Is that the game he confiscated?!
Guess I'll just go home.
He's coming this way!
Okay! Let's follow him!
Is this really gonna work?
Of course it will! After all, it's...
...Pervy-Zaki here!
Th-This is...
Look! He can't even move!
He's probably trembling with joy!
Whoa, he just bolted for the restroom!
You wrote the love letter, right, Takahashi?
Yeah. I'm real proud of it!
To Mr. Matsuzaki. I'm so sorry to write you so suddenly.
But there's something I really need to tell you!
To tell you the truth... deep breath... I'm so in lovey-wovey with you, Matsy!
Ah! I finally said it! I can't hold back my feelings anymore!
Let's meet in the courtyard. Oh, I might be a wittle bit late.
Wait for me, okie-dokie?
You're so creepy.
What?!
Would you go after getting that?
Would anyone?!
If he comes, that'd mean he's one seriously pervy teacher!
He came!
See?! My letter totally worked!
He's crazy!
He must be really hard up for women.
Now, what should I do?
Mr. Matsuzaki has been nice to me from time to time.
Should I tell him about these three?
Or should I just spit on them from here?
Ah, so that's why he came.
He's been waiting for over two hours now. Waiting-Matsu.
It's all thanks to my letter writing skills!
What a pathetic guy.
Hey, let's go home already. I'm starving.
Yeah.
Shh! Don't let him notice us!
So you've finally come.
What?!
Were you the one who wrote me this letter?
Wh-What?!
What the hell is going on?! And she's super cute too!
Don't ask me!
Just think about it.
Who else would it be but me, in female guise?
Kusuo Saiki... or rather, Kusuko Saiki.
Transformation...
I can change my form at will.
I haven't seen you before. Are you a first-year?
No matter. I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings.
I'm a teacher and you're a student.
What?!
I've been waiting here to tell you that.
At first, I thought it was a prank,
but if there was a chance it was real, I shouldn't ignore it.
If I did, I'd be trampling over a student's feelings.
Why do I have to take rejection from some middle-aged man like him?
Now you guys know what his true motives were.
Keep it down, dumbass!
It wasn't me!
Hey! What're you guys doing?!
W-We're sorry!
You should've gone home hours ago!
We're very sorry!
Takahashi, wait a minute.
Here.
Huh? Oh, my Gori-Rabbitz!
Sorry. I didn't mean to break it.
So back then was...!
I sewed it back together, but it was harder than I expected.
- Head on home already. - Mr. Matsuzaki!
We're really sorry!
Good grief.
But who was that girl?
I'm in love...
I wonder what her name is...
Looks like I've picked up another annoying problem.
Saiki! It's finally here!
What's here?
Oh, don't play dumb. Today is February 14th.
It's the day all guys look forward to!
- Actually, who are you? - We can't wait to find out if there's that dark stuff hiding in our shoe lockers or desks!
What? Like a dead crow?
Oh, I wonder how many I'll get this year... Sweet Valentine's chocolate!
Oh, that.
- It's no exaggeration to say that whether you get any or not could change your whole future! - I really don't care about that.
Yes, it is.
It's why I carried girls' stuff for them...
Where are you going? I'll hold this for you.
Uh, thanks?
That's harassment.
I showered them with praise...
Did you change your shampoo? You smell nicer than usual.
- Th-Thanks. - That's * harassment.
I even gave them gifts from time to time.
Our temple made these talismans. They're perfect for places like your foyer.
Um, sure. Thanks.
That's unsolicited goods.
I tried my very best to ensure that girls would like me!
And now all the girls take note of me when I walk by!
You're done for.
So Saiki, please use your precognition to see if I'll get lots of chocolate from girls!
Good grief.
Thank you very much! Yahoo!
Looks like he misunderstood.
What I showed him was a zero, not an OK sign.
Hairo!
Thanks for bringing me what I left behind the other day!
Thanks!
Hairo! Here's some chocolate for the advice you gave me during practice the other day!
Hairo's pretty popular.
Hairo, have some chocolate!
Thanks for playing with my little brother the other day!
It's all thank you chocolate.
Hairo! Take this chocolate!
Thanks for taking my grandpa to the hospital the other day!
Oh, it was nothing.
It clearly isn't. You're incredible.
Hairocchi! Thanks for going to get me chips and juice the other day!
Is he running errands?
Thanks for testifying in court for me the other day!
Wait, what?
Thanks for saving me when I was simultaneously attacked
by a brown bear and a saber-toothed cat!
I'm amazed you didn't fall in love with him after that.
Hey, Saiki! Good morning!
Oh, did you happen to catch all that?
I don't know what to do. I can't eat this much.
Well, I can't really brag.
These are just thank you and friendship chocolate.
- To have so many, but not a single heartfelt Valentine's... - E-Excuse me...
I would be so honored if you would accept my chocolate.
Another friendship chocolate, huh?
You got the heartfelt Valentine's you wanted.
I-Is the thing in my desk...
Chocolate? Good for you, Kaidou.
It must be...
...the work of Dark Reunion!
How did you get that idea?!
How much chocolate did you get?
What about you?
- I found some in my desk! Aw, yeah! - Huh? What are they talking about?
Is this Valentine's chocolate?!
People will make fun of me if they see I got some!
I gotta act natural!
But who could it be from? The only girl I've talked with recently is Teruhashi.
Hey, did you hear? Teruhashi brought chocolate!
- What the? - A whistle?
It can't be...!
"Heartfeeled"? Did she mean to write "heartfelt"?
You totally fell for it!
There's no way Teruhashi'd give you chocolate, is there?
- Nendou, there are some lines you shouldn't cross. - What's the deal? Don't be such a downer.
Not getting any chocolate isn't a big deal.
Even I didn't get any, you know?
We're in the same boat.
Kaidou's life total has already hit zero.
E-Excuse me!
There's something I want to give you. Could you come with me?
S-Sure! Of course!
Um, no, not you, Nendou.
I-I'm asking Kaidou!
Kaidou, there are some lines you shouldn't cross.
What a pain...
Just who was the idiot who told everyone I brought chocolate today?
Thanks to them...
Is your bag heavy? I'll carry it for you.
Teruhashi, are you thirsty? I bought peach tea for you.
Teruhashi, are you hungry? I bought all sorts of...
Enough already!
What is the deal?!
Are you tired from walking? You can ride this!
I'm tired of you. Would everyone just leave me alone today?!
I have to use the restroom, so see you later!
Teruhashi, I have a portable toilet!
Ugh, * Valentine's Day!
I brought some chocolate with me, huh?
Ha! So what if I did?!
I'll give these to Saiki...
O-Of course, this is just thank you chocolate.
- She's making up excuses even though there's no one around. - You know, for having me over on New Year's.
Like, enjoy them with your parents!
But these are my only thank you chocolates...
If those guys outside find out I gave them to Saiki...
A world war will break out!
How could this have happened?
To think my chocolates are the most dangerous weapon known to man!
I can't give these to him after all.
Please forgive me, Saiki!
Don't be so dramatic.
Hey, pal, let's hang out!
Are you in there?
Good grief.
I'm really glad my parents aren't home.
It makes it easy to pretend I'm not here.
They dug a super big hole in that vacant lot over there! It's really deep!
I can't think of a less remarkable event in the past century.
I guess he's not in.
He's finally gone.
He makes a racket even on Sundays.
Time to go back to my book.
N-Nendou?!
This is the second floor!
What a funny face! I scared you, didn't I?
No, this isn't Nendou!
It's Nendou!
You can see me, can'tcha?
I have many questions, but only one thing I want to say right now.
Get out!
- Right? Hey. Right? Right? Hey. Right? Hey. - This is Nendou's father.
- Right? Hey. Right? Hey. Right? Hey. Right? Right? Hey. Hey. - He's a ghost. He died 17 years ago.
I've met Nendou's father twice before.
Firstly, when we visited his grave.
And secondly, through the eyes of spirit medium Toritsuka.
I normally don't have the ability to see ghosts.
I don't know why I'm seeing one now, but that doesn't surprise me any more.
As you can tell from his face, he and his son have pretty similar DNA.
Now, how's this? It's funny, right?
In other words, I want nothing to do with him.
Hey! Can you hear me?
Hey, you really can't hear me?
Hey, seriously, you can't hear me?
Fine, this means war.
Whoa! So you can hear me after all!
You can do some magic tricks and stuff, right?
Reita told me about it.
I love magic tricks!
Show me some tricks, okay? Hey. Okay?
- Hey. Okay? Hey. Okay? Hey. Hey. Okay? - As I suspected, physical attacks are useless.
I'm short on options here.
Stop ignoring me, you *!
He's an exact copy of Nendou in this respect too.
I wonder if he'll start calling me pal soon?
Are you making fun of me?
You're literally in my face!
Say something, will you?
Oh? See? That wasn't hard.
Well then, let me see it, pal!
I've had enough of this.
Sheesh. Go see your son.
Well, I guess you wouldn't remember him.
That was amazing! You disappeared!
H-Huh? What?
You came here in no time at all! Incredible!
So this guy goes wherever I go?
Hey, show me more!
Looks like I have to get serious.
Not bad.
I-It didn't even faze him!
And the way he regenerates is disturbing.
I like you!
He's just as annoying as Nendou!
Hey, pal!
Could he be my greatest enemy?
Looks like I'll have to ask the spirit medium for help.
This one might be the winner.
Is this what you do at the temple every day?
Whoa! S-Saiki?!
Don't suddenly show up when I'm in the middle of a pin-up mag tournament!
Normal people wouldn't ever do that.
It's the losers' semifinal now, so it'll be over soon.
Forget this! Give me a break!
He's your guardian spirit, right? Do something.
W-Wait, you can see him?
You've finally become a spirit medium too?! You identity thief! You cheater!
Not my problem.
You power monster! Power department store!
Just do something about this guy. He won't leave me alone.
Well, Reita, this guy is funny, just like you said.
Hey, don't bug Saiki.
I'm gonna visit him every day!
A casual threat to make my life a living hell.
If you can't stop him, what makes you think I can?
I see. Then I have only one option left.
I'll try and see what happens if I send you to heaven.
What?! Even if I die, my guardian spirit won't disappear!
Also, I'd just keep following you around!
Oh, don't worry. I'm sure you'll just return to the void.
Listen, I really can't do anything!
Only ghosts can interfere with other ghosts!
Of course! Why didn't I think of that?
Saiki? Hey!
What? No!
Saiki's dead!
I'm using an ability that lets me separate my soul from my body.
Souls and ghosts aren't that different.
Oh. Astral projection, is it?
Be careful with my body.
Hey, show me some other tricks, will ya?
Now, to all the kids in the front of the TV. Here's a pop quiz.
I went from being a psychic to a ghost.
Whoa! I can touch you!
In a certain world-famous video game,
what happens if a ghost-type attacks another ghost-type?
What's going on?
You'll see...
It's super effective!
Good grief. Nendou's family is such a pain to deal with.
Time to get back home and finish read—
Revenge time! I'm avenging my pin-up mag girls!
You're in luck, ma'am!
This is Golden Water. We can only collect 4 liters a day.
It comes from a small area in Mt. Fuji and has mysterious powers!
Wow, that's amazing!
If you buy now, it's only 4,500 yen a bottle!
Then I'll take one!
Thank you very much!
What the hell is this?
Welcome home, Kuu!
Drink this! It's Golden Water!
Good grief. Did she buy something weird again?
My mom never doubts people.
I got a space stone bracelet too!
So, as you can see, she gets easily deceived by salesmen.
We have too many vacuums!
What is this water?
Mt. Fuji? Mysterious powers?
That's obviously all made up.
Even if it weren't, I could just go and get it every day for free.
Drink up! They said it prevents you from getting colds or injured!
Have you ever seen me sick or injured in the first place?
Take a look at what else I bought!
Fire extinguishers!
I can put out any fire, so we don't need that.
A pole pruner!
I can reach any high place, so we don't need that.
Books on levitation!
I can just do that, so we don't need that.
And this! A fully automated egg cracker!
By setting the egg and pressing the handle, it easily cracks the egg!
No one needs that.
Oh, the phone. I wonder who it is.
Yes, hello?
What?! My husband was arrested for groping women?!
He'll be released if we pay up one million yen?!
I'll wire the money over right away!
B-Bad news, Kuu! Your dad is—
Yeah, let's go to the bank.
I'm home!
Huh? Why are you here?
Shouldn't you be in a cell right now?
I didn't do it! There's no way I'd go around groping women!
But they kept going "It's me! It's me!" on the phone.
Isn't that obviously the "It's me!" phone scam?
How did you get fooled too, Kusuo?!
Well, it did sound like you.
How?! You actually knew it was a scam, didn't you?!
Seriously, we almost lost one million yen!
But I see they got you to buy a lot of stuff. How much was all this?
About one million yen in total.
We already lost it!
One million yen?! I have to lick 75 shoes to earn that kind of money!
You have a yen to shoe conversion rate?
I'm sorry...
I thought you two would be happy if I bought these.
Don't worry about it, honey.
You were just thinking of us.
Knowing that makes me happy.
Who cares about one million yen, right?
Honey...
Just forget about it. It's time for dinner.
Okay! I'll start cooking right away!
O Lord Kusuo! Please fix this!
Where did your cool act go?
Whatever. There's still time for returns.
Man, that was so easy.
My teleportation power is just perfect for this.
All right! My shoe-licking money is back!
Kusuo! I'll buy one cup of coffee jelly for you!
"One cup"?
Er, I mean, as many as you want!
I really am sorry.
I said forget about it, didn't I?
The salesmen come by very often.
More than ten just today.
That many?!
They probably have us down in a list of easy targets.
Honey! I'll send those salesmen packing for you!
I suddenly have a headache.
Please leave! We don't want anything!
Oh, hello. Are you the man of the house? It's such a nice place!
Owning a house like this is every man's dream!
Oh? You think so?
This prism cleaner is revolutionary! It cleans both inside and outside the house!
Really? Then we'll take three or so!
No, it's not going to work. I just had an awful vision.
Then how about you go destroy all those companies?
Don't be crazy.
We need to refuse so strongly, they'll take our name off their list.
And for it to be most effective, Mom has to do it.
Of course, I'll be lending a hand too.
Hello!
Thanks for your business! I'm Busujima from de'Seeve Healthy Food!
Please leave!
What? Wait, ma'am!
Please just leave!
Oh, did you family complained about it?
I thought so. Men particularly tend to complain.
But men go out and work, so they accumulate stress and fatigue.
You're the only one who can save them!
You have to protect everyone's health!
Give me everything you have!
You never change, Mom.
You're so concerned about our health...
No matter. Now, switch on!
What an idiot.
What?
You have no idea you've just been buying tap water.
You're going to make me so much more money...
Huh? What on Earth is going on?
Yup, this is forced telepathy.
I'm transmitting his unfiltered thoughts to Mom via telepathy.
Your precious family is going to go bankrupt!
I'll be taking my... Huh?
Hold it right there, you bastard...
You're going to make my family go bankrupt, huh?!
How dare you talk like that about my beloved family!
There's just one thing I'm interested in buying...
...and it's your shitty head!
Get back here!
Help me!
That salesman probably won't be back.
What's this, a ring?
We should return this while we can.
Whew... That was scary.
Is... Is this what's responsible?
My telepathy is gone.
After some investigation, I've determined that this is just an ordinary ring.
But this ring is made of a material known as germanium.
I believe this is the cause.
I'm not entirely sure how it works,
but it appears that I am unable to use telepathy while in contact with germanium.
What a wonderful thing I've stumbled upon!
It's quiet.
Since having telepathy from birth,
I've heard the thoughts of anyone within a 200-meter radius.
With that range,
a residential area like this is always as loud as a food court on holidays and weekends.
But this silence I'm experiencing right now...
Finally!
What're you doing?
What's with the surprised act?
Dinner's ready. But you already knew that, didn't you?
Don't scare me like that. Sheesh.
It's nice that all the distractions are gone,
but having people suddenly show up behind me isn't good for my heart.
If my telepathy is always on, I'll always know when someone is coming.
Huh? Kusuo isn't coming down.
The food is gonna get cold.
I'll also know exactly why they came to see me.
That was just the norm for me my entire life.
Yes. In other words...
While I'm wearing this ring, all of mankind is essentially like Nendou.
That would be hell. Maybe I should take it off.
No. Why am I losing heart now?
Oh, right!
There was a place I wanted to go to were I ever to lose my telepathy.
I'm here.
I didn't teleport here, though.
I saw Nendou B, C, and D on my way here, but I've omitted those scenes.
Yes, the place I wanted to go to is...
...the movie theater!
My telepathy and movie theaters make for the worst combination.
When I was a child, there was a movie I really wanted to see.
But then...
Who would've thought the protagonist was a ghost!
That was a crazy twist!
I found out the ending two seconds after I went inside.
Theaters are full of people going to see a movie and people who have already seen it.
So I tried going to the very first showing on the very first day.
Here you are, one child ticket. Enjoy.
I wonder if he'll be okay.
The protagonist dies and turns into goo in the end.
I got caught in an unexpected ambush.
So I decided to accept spoilers as unavoidable and to watch the movie anyway.
I can't wait.
Oh, a new character.
- Oh, that shot. It's an homage to the Kurosawa films. - It's so noisy.
Since then, I've given up on ever going to the theater.
But today, I have this!
I'll see a new movie at the theater today for sure!
Here's one high school student ticket.
I was able to buy it very easily, Nendou E.
Man, that was good.
Yeah.
It's no use, Nendou F and Nendou G.
Even if you've already seen it, you can't spoil it for me.
Sorry, I went to the restroom!
- But that was so cool, yeah? - Oh no!
You know, that scene where the protagonist breaks all his bones and dies!
Oh, yeah, that!
Just kidding.
Unlike with thoughts, I can block out people's voices by plugging my ears.
Actually, that movie wasn't very good.
Yeah.
That movie was terrible.
The movie in Auditorium 3 will begin shortly.
I went overboard on the food.
Well, it's my first movie. I'm allowed to indulge.
Ow! Watch where you're going, moron!
That juice almost got on me.
All the food I bought.
Damn Nendou I and J... no, Interfering * Kids (I.J.K.)!
This wouldn't have happened if I had my telepathy.
No, what am I thinking?!
I'm the one who decided I didn't need a power like that!
This is just the sort of annoyance I need to bear.
I should never depend on psychic powers.
Looks like this is my seat. It's rather comfy.
How wonderful you are, germanium ring.
I'm never letting you go!
What? Saiki?
Wow, what a coincidence!
For heaven's sake. I ran into Teruhashi of all people.
She's acting a bit strange.
I can't tell what she's thinking.
She's no longer Teruhashi, but Nendou L!
This is incredibly risky, but * it.
I've been wanting to see this movie for so long.
The live action Healthy Warrior! Specialiser!
Any live action anime film is almost certainly terrible,
but I figured I would never be able to see it anyway.
- But thanks to this ring... - S-Saiki...
Don't take this as an excuse or anything,
but I really don't want you to get the wrong idea.
I'm here with someone, and...
Kokomi! I bought some popcorn!
Who is that?
A guy Teruhashi deemed worthy of her? He must be pretty—
Hey, you! What's your relationship with my Kokomi?!
Wait, don't take off your sunglasses!
Whoa, seriously?
Hey, look!
- That's the movie star, Tohru Mugami! - Ack, shit!
I can't believe you brought him here, Teruhashi.
Had I been using telepathy, this never would have happened.
Good grief. I had to help out those pains in the neck again.
- Learning about the effects of germanium was a surprise though. - I'm never talking to you ever again!
Next time on The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. the anime...
So we got another good-for-nothing now?