WEBVTT 00:00:10.480 --> 00:00:12.160 Hello, viewers. 00:00:12.200 --> 00:00:16.440 You join us at a very exhausting time on the Shimanami Kaido. 00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:19.760 It's a bicycle route that joins the main island of Honshu 00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:23.200 with the first of the big southern islands, Shikoku. 00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:26.800 It's lovely. 00:00:27.920 --> 00:00:30.480 I'm on an excellent adventure 00:00:30.520 --> 00:00:34.880 forensically examining Japan from tip to toe. 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:36.920 - From the frozen 00:00:36.960 --> 00:00:38.200 northern wilderness... 00:00:38.240 --> 00:00:40.080 Yes, we are completely *. 00:00:40.120 --> 00:00:42.680 ...through the pulsating heart of Tokyo... 00:00:42.720 --> 00:00:45.560 Yes. Sumimasen. 00:00:46.160 --> 00:00:49.160 ...down to the warm underbelly of Honshu. 00:00:49.200 --> 00:00:51.200 I am Ultraman! 00:00:51.240 --> 00:00:53.360 And now on the final leg of my journey, 00:00:53.400 --> 00:00:56.760 I'm joined once again by my faithful guide Yujiro. 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:01.120 - As I make my way... 00:01:01.160 --> 00:01:04.360 ...through Japan's subtropical southern islands. 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:06.920 - -Was that you farting, Yujiro? -I'm so sorry. 00:01:06.920 --> 00:01:08.840 These noodles will taste terrible. 00:01:25.800 --> 00:01:28.240 We begin with a 70-kilometer 00:01:28.280 --> 00:01:31.720 bike ride over the largest series of suspension bridges 00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:34.600 in the... you know. 00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:38.880 Apparently, we still have the budget left 00:01:38.920 --> 00:01:43.040 for cool helicopter shots, but no money for a bloody car. 00:01:43.080 --> 00:01:45.360 To my left, somewhere, Yujiro. 00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:47.440 - Yes! - To my right, Manhon-chan, 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:50.280 - our cycling guide. - Yeah. 00:01:50.320 --> 00:01:52.520 How many times have you done this route? 00:01:52.560 --> 00:01:54.280 Uh... 00:01:54.680 --> 00:01:57.560 I think more than 20 times. 00:01:57.800 --> 00:01:59.400 - Are you bored with it yet? - Uh... 00:01:59.960 --> 00:02:03.200 No, no, no, no, because, you know, the beautiful scenery. 00:02:04.080 --> 00:02:05.200 Never bored. 00:02:05.440 --> 00:02:07.920 This visually stunning 00:02:07.960 --> 00:02:11.400 but physically knackering opening scene will end here 00:02:11.440 --> 00:02:15.160 on Shikoku, three hours of furious pedaling later. 00:02:15.160 --> 00:02:17.880 It's the smallest of Japan's main landmasses, 00:02:17.960 --> 00:02:19.880 and it's an extraordinary region, 00:02:19.960 --> 00:02:22.440 surrounded by hundreds of tiny islands, 00:02:22.440 --> 00:02:26.080 and it's a surprisingly isolated one. 00:02:26.120 --> 00:02:29.080 These islands are extremely pretty, 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:30.840 but unfortunately, 00:02:30.880 --> 00:02:32.880 the population of them is dying out, 00:02:32.880 --> 00:02:35.280 because it's aging, and literally dying, 00:02:35.320 --> 00:02:37.040 and the younger people are moving away 00:02:37.080 --> 00:02:38.880 to places like Tokyo and Osaka. 00:02:38.960 --> 00:02:41.520 And as a result of that, if you fancy it, 00:02:41.560 --> 00:02:45.680 you can buy a house around here very cheaply. 00:02:45.720 --> 00:02:48.600 I mean, really, a few thousand pounds. 00:02:48.640 --> 00:02:51.960 My legs already feel like overcooked noodles, 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:54.440 and they're about to get worse. 00:02:54.480 --> 00:02:56.360 The first bridge looms. 00:02:56.400 --> 00:02:59.840 - Oh, that's enormous. - Yeah! 00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:01.640 Right. I'm going to stay on the right, 00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:03.160 because I'm scared of heights. 00:03:03.200 --> 00:03:05.480 Oh, God. 00:03:11.640 --> 00:03:15.120 This bridge is quite windy 00:03:15.160 --> 00:03:19.560 and very high... over 500 feet... 00:03:19.600 --> 00:03:22.800 so if you don't like that, and I don't like it very much, 00:03:22.840 --> 00:03:25.600 just don't look... aah!... like that. Oh! 00:03:25.640 --> 00:03:28.880 - I have a fly in my eye. - Oh, this is scary! 00:03:28.920 --> 00:03:30.280 - What? - Take a peek! 00:03:30.320 --> 00:03:31.680 Yeah, I've looked. 00:03:31.720 --> 00:03:33.640 It's very scary. 00:03:33.680 --> 00:03:35.640 Zen cycling: breathe in. 00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:39.600 Breathe out. 00:03:42.480 --> 00:03:44.080 - There's the border! - What? 00:03:44.120 --> 00:03:46.960 We are entering Ehime Prefecture. 00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:48.640 - Say, "Konnichiwa." -Now! 00:03:50.720 --> 00:03:53.320 After peddling for several hours in 32-degree heat, 00:03:53.360 --> 00:03:57.160 we finally arrive on Shikoku, shamefully late. 00:03:57.200 --> 00:04:00.000 Shikoku is famous for many things 00:04:00.040 --> 00:04:01.880 aside from its depopulation... 00:04:01.920 --> 00:04:04.960 a special breed of dog, extensive citrus groves, 00:04:05.000 --> 00:04:07.160 and we've been told there's a group of dignitaries 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:10.480 who represent the local culture waiting to meet us. 00:04:10.520 --> 00:04:12.280 - Oh! - -Hmm. 00:04:15.600 --> 00:04:16.960 - Ah. - Ah! 00:04:17.000 --> 00:04:18.360 - Sumimasen. 00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:22.680 Jeans are bad choice of trouser for this. 00:04:22.720 --> 00:04:24.360 Though any concerns 00:04:24.360 --> 00:04:26.360 that I'm underdressed for the occasion... 00:04:28.040 --> 00:04:30.080 ...quickly disappear. 00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:33.560 - Great. - Yes. 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:35.800 You want to know their names? 00:04:35.800 --> 00:04:37.720 - No, but yes. - Okay. 00:04:37.760 --> 00:04:41.360 Kabuchan, the, uh, horseshoe crab. 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:43.480 - Really? Konbanwa, Kabuchan. - Yes. - 00:04:43.520 --> 00:04:45.720 He looks like a chocolate marshmallow 00:04:45.760 --> 00:04:47.920 with a pubic infection. Anyway... 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.000 Arun the dog representing the... 00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:51.680 - Dog? - Yes, a dog. 00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:53.240 Representing, you know, Japanese, 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:54.800 uh, like, lemon citrus fruits. 00:04:54.800 --> 00:04:56.560 - Oh, I see. - Famous one, yeah. 00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:58.160 Konbanwa, Arun the dog, possibly a lemon. 00:04:58.200 --> 00:04:59.600 Konbanwa. 00:04:59.640 --> 00:05:02.520 Shima-Bo! It's a mikan, Japanese oranges. 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:04.560 Shima-Bo. Konbanwa, Shima-Bo. 00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:07.200 - Yes. - Meanwhile, the bar is shut. 00:05:07.240 --> 00:05:09.680 - Yes. - Your Beetle is gone. No beer. 00:05:09.720 --> 00:05:12.320 Number is 70, 60, 70 kilometers on a bicycle, 00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:15.040 and I thought that at least at the end, I'll have a beer. 00:05:15.080 --> 00:05:17.920 - Yes. - But I got a giant cuddly toy... 00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:19.920 - Oh... -...that's supposed to be a lemon, 00:05:19.920 --> 00:05:22.040 but actually looks like a dog with jaundice. 00:05:22.080 --> 00:05:25.440 We call them Yuru-kyara... loose characters. 00:05:25.480 --> 00:05:27.120 You know? 00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:30.000 Do you really do this stuff, or are you just putting this on 00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:32.280 - because this is a travel show about Japan? -No, no, no, no! 00:05:32.320 --> 00:05:34.360 We... 00:05:34.400 --> 00:05:36.360 - It's normal in Japan. Yeah. - Yeah, normal in Japan. 00:05:36.400 --> 00:05:37.220 Very normal, yeah. 00:05:37.300 --> 00:05:39.020 Many, many loose characters in Japan. 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:42.680 Anyway, Manhon, can I say, uh, 00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:44.560 domo arigato gozaimasu 00:05:44.600 --> 00:05:46.760 for organizing this wonderful surprise. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:48.720 Domo arigato gozaimasu. 00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:50.360 - Oh. - It's my pleasure! 00:05:50.400 --> 00:05:51.760 Oh. 00:05:51.800 --> 00:05:53.240 I'll go and have a word with... 00:05:53.280 --> 00:05:54.560 What's his name? The orange one? 00:05:54.600 --> 00:05:55.920 - Shima-Bo! - Shima-Bo! 00:05:55.960 --> 00:05:57.680 - Yeah. - Oh, actually... 00:05:57.720 --> 00:05:59.200 Where's his ear? 00:05:59.240 --> 00:06:02.160 So, Shima-Bo? Shima-Bo, do you speak English? 00:06:02.200 --> 00:06:04.280 Yeah. 00:06:04.320 --> 00:06:06.040 Do you know where there's any beer? 00:06:06.080 --> 00:06:08.600 I don't know, mate. I'm just a mascot. 00:06:08.640 --> 00:06:11.280 That's Rich from production. 00:06:11.320 --> 00:06:13.320 Well, one of the mascots got tired of waiting 00:06:13.360 --> 00:06:16.120 and had to go 'cause it took so long to do the journey. 00:06:16.160 --> 00:06:19.520 This is supposed to be a reasonably highbrow inquiry 00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:22.440 into Japanese culture and society. 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:24.080 But I'm gonna have to say "Sumimasen" 00:06:24.120 --> 00:06:26.320 to the viewers this time, rather than to Japan. 00:06:26.360 --> 00:06:28.720 Anyway, if you can put that aside, 00:06:28.760 --> 00:06:31.920 I have to say, these islands... I mean, look at this light now. 00:06:31.960 --> 00:06:33.520 This is every earthly paradise 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:36.160 that humankind has ever dreamt of, all in one place. 00:06:36.200 --> 00:06:37.640 Fab, isn't it? 00:06:39.400 --> 00:06:41.400 But there's no beer. 00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:45.360 There's no beer. 00:06:45.400 --> 00:06:46.920 Okay. 00:06:46.960 --> 00:06:49.240 Um, thank you for your indulgence, viewers. 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:53.080 Goodbye. 00:06:55.280 --> 00:06:57.280 Eventually, I get hold of a car 00:06:57.320 --> 00:06:59.720 for the breezy three-hour drive to my hotel, 00:06:59.760 --> 00:07:02.840 where I can finally get a much-deserved beer in. 00:07:02.880 --> 00:07:05.640 But impromptu furry conventions aside, 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:09.280 Shikoku is starting to feel like a hidden gem, 00:07:09.320 --> 00:07:11.320 and a chance for me to experience 00:07:11.360 --> 00:07:14.680 rural Japanese life... as a local. 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:23.360 Konbanwa gozaimasu. 00:07:23.400 --> 00:07:25.720 If you're going to come and stay in Japan 00:07:25.760 --> 00:07:28.520 and you get the chance, check in to a Japanese hotel, 00:07:28.560 --> 00:07:30.200 rather than an international one, 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:33.880 and ask for a Japanese-style room such as this one, 00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:36.080 because it's a delightful experience. 00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:38.280 It begins with the floor, which is tatami mat. 00:07:38.320 --> 00:07:39.600 Take your shoes off... 00:07:39.840 --> 00:07:41.000 "Stupid foreigner." 00:07:41.320 --> 00:07:43.560 You will sleep on a futon. 00:07:43.600 --> 00:07:46.480 Moving over here to the migi of the room, 00:07:46.520 --> 00:07:49.920 you will see the built-in wardrobe, sliding beautifully. 00:07:49.960 --> 00:07:53.600 I've already hung my shirt up and put my jeans in there. 00:07:53.640 --> 00:07:56.680 And then you will have the low table 00:07:56.720 --> 00:08:00.480 with the special Japanese school chair with no legs. 00:08:00.520 --> 00:08:02.440 Very typical. 00:08:02.480 --> 00:08:04.600 And on the table, 00:08:04.640 --> 00:08:09.120 you have this rather wonderful lacquered tea ceremony set. 00:08:09.160 --> 00:08:11.360 Look at that. 00:08:11.400 --> 00:08:14.560 Complete with the small plate 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:16.560 and the refreshing hand wipe. 00:08:16.600 --> 00:08:19.520 Not a biscuit. Don't eat it. 00:08:19.560 --> 00:08:21.560 Is it a refreshing...? 00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:23.280 No, it's a biscuit. 00:08:26.840 --> 00:08:28.840 Bollocks! 00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:33.280 How are we gonna get around that? 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:37.960 By hastily cutting to this. 00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.520 Geez! 00:08:40.520 --> 00:08:42.640 Unfortunately, that was the best thing 00:08:42.640 --> 00:08:45.360 that happened in that scene, so let's just go here. 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:52.280 Ohayo gozaimasu. 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:55.720 You join me in very, very noisy modern Takamatsu, 00:08:55.760 --> 00:08:57.360 complete with its own digital cuckoo. 00:08:57.400 --> 00:08:59.760 And this is a martial arts center, where I'm going 00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:02.320 to do some archery... Kyudo archery. 00:09:02.360 --> 00:09:05.840 It develops your character, as a form of meditation 00:09:05.880 --> 00:09:10.080 through action, a concept borrowed from Zen Buddhism. 00:09:10.120 --> 00:09:12.040 How these people ever found the time 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:14.360 to develop the hybrid family saloon car is beyond me, 00:09:14.400 --> 00:09:15.760 to be honest. 00:09:15.760 --> 00:09:18.080 Anyway, let's find out. 00:09:24.960 --> 00:09:26.640 Like most things in Japan, 00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:30.320 Kyudo archery is shrouded in ceremony and ritual. 00:09:32.520 --> 00:09:35.280 So, before I'm allowed anywhere near a bow and arrow, 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:37.360 I have to learn the basics. 00:09:40.600 --> 00:09:42.760 And you don't get any more basic 00:09:42.760 --> 00:09:45.520 than being shown how to walk. 00:09:45.520 --> 00:09:47.840 To help put me at ease, my every move is silently judged 00:09:47.880 --> 00:09:51.880 by a panel of stony-faced Kyudo experts. 00:09:53.520 --> 00:09:57.400 Ichi. Ni. San. 00:09:57.440 --> 00:09:58.760 And then... 00:09:58.760 --> 00:10:01.000 It's quite difficult. 00:10:01.040 --> 00:10:03.040 Have I got to keep my feet on the floor? 00:10:06.160 --> 00:10:09.520 Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. There. 00:10:09.520 --> 00:10:11.320 Mm-hmm. Mm. There. 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.520 Mm. Mm. Mm. 00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:15.280 Bow to the flag of Japan. 00:10:15.320 --> 00:10:18.760 And then it's ichi, ni, san, out. 00:10:18.840 --> 00:10:20.200 No. 00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:22.080 - Good? No. - No. 00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:24.280 It's a bit more complicated than it looks, 00:10:24.320 --> 00:10:26.280 because there are three steps, 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:29.360 turn right, stop, turn left, 00:10:29.400 --> 00:10:31.480 three steps, then some more steps. 00:10:31.520 --> 00:10:34.080 And then stop in the middle, and then you go over here. 00:10:34.120 --> 00:10:35.760 And your feet must never leave the floor, 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:38.200 and you get to here, you must bow at the flag of Japan, 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:40.320 but not too much, and then it must be three steps 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:42.320 between here, and leaving beyond the line. 00:10:42.360 --> 00:10:43.720 But not three and then one, 00:10:43.760 --> 00:10:45.960 and not two and then one beyond the line. 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:48.480 And actually firing the arrow at the target is just 00:10:48.520 --> 00:10:51.640 a sort of small inconvenience in the middle of all this. 00:10:51.720 --> 00:10:54.640 After the catwalk comes the actual shooty bit. 00:10:54.640 --> 00:10:56.880 As a baka gaijin, I've asked them 00:10:56.920 --> 00:10:58.720 to keep it as simple as possible. 00:10:58.760 --> 00:11:01.160 First stage... footing. 00:11:04.040 --> 00:11:07.280 The second... forming the torso. 00:11:07.320 --> 00:11:10.480 The third stage... readying the bow. 00:11:10.520 --> 00:11:14.200 The fourth stage... raising the bow. 00:11:14.240 --> 00:11:18.520 The fifth stage... drawing apart. 00:11:18.560 --> 00:11:21.800 Sixth stage... full draw. 00:11:24.080 --> 00:11:27.440 And the seventh stage... release. 00:11:29.280 --> 00:11:32.240 The eighth stage... remaining straight, 00:11:32.280 --> 00:11:34.320 or remaining body. 00:11:39.200 --> 00:11:41.160 That's all. Thank you. 00:11:41.200 --> 00:11:43.480 You say that's all. That's quite a lot. 00:11:43.520 --> 00:11:45.400 - Oh, here comes your bow. - Ah. 00:11:45.440 --> 00:11:47.640 - Domo arigato. -Hmm. 00:11:52.040 --> 00:11:53.760 Okay, so, 00:11:53.800 --> 00:11:55.960 three steps, turn right, feet don't leave the floor. 00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.880 First stage... feet placement; second stage... form torso; 00:11:57.920 --> 00:12:00.520 third stage... raise bow; fifth to eighth stages... 00:12:00.560 --> 00:12:03.680 draw apart, full draw release and remain in body pose. 00:12:03.720 --> 00:12:07.040 The Zen relaxation is palpable. 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:12.200 This could be my last chance to show 00:12:12.240 --> 00:12:14.640 that I can truly absorb the skills, cultures 00:12:14.680 --> 00:12:16.440 and traditions of Japan. 00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.800 A symbol of all that I've learned to this point. 00:12:21.160 --> 00:12:23.560 Breathe, and... 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:37.080 Out of ten? 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:39.160 Hmm. Hmm. 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:40.560 Hmm. 00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:47.640 Right. Japan update, subject: hunger. 00:12:47.680 --> 00:12:50.400 I'm starving. And I know what that means. 00:12:50.440 --> 00:12:51.880 It means I'm going to have something 00:12:51.920 --> 00:12:53.560 that we haven't really talked about yet 00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:56.440 even though they've appeared on one of my T-shirts. 00:12:59.840 --> 00:13:01.000 Noodles. 00:13:01.040 --> 00:13:03.040 Now, there are three basic types. 00:13:03.080 --> 00:13:04.520 There is ramen noodle, 00:13:04.560 --> 00:13:07.080 which is the type you eat in roadside cafés. 00:13:07.120 --> 00:13:09.800 They are made with wheat flour and egg. 00:13:09.840 --> 00:13:11.560 Then there are soba noodles. 00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:12.800 They're made with buckwheat. 00:13:12.840 --> 00:13:14.480 They're the ones you eat cold in sauce, 00:13:14.520 --> 00:13:15.640 often for breakfast. 00:13:15.680 --> 00:13:17.120 And there's a third type. 00:13:17.160 --> 00:13:18.720 These are the thick white ones 00:13:18.760 --> 00:13:21.760 made with nothing more than wheat flour and salt, 00:13:21.800 --> 00:13:25.680 and they are the ones for which Shikoku is famous. 00:13:25.720 --> 00:13:28.720 And they're in here. 00:13:29.720 --> 00:13:31.720 Spoiler alert. 00:13:34.160 --> 00:13:36.160 - Konbanwa. 00:13:36.200 --> 00:13:38.040 Gozaimasu. 00:13:43.160 --> 00:13:46.360 The Udon House is a kind of hostel-stroke-restaurant 00:13:46.400 --> 00:13:49.360 that offers visitors a fully interactive 00:13:49.400 --> 00:13:52.400 noodle experience with a host, Senna, 00:13:52.440 --> 00:13:54.920 who may just rival Yujiro for enthusiasm. 00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:56.120 Are you ready? 00:13:56.160 --> 00:13:57.400 - Yes. - Yeah! 00:13:57.440 --> 00:13:59.000 Okay, let's make it. 00:13:59.040 --> 00:14:01.920 First, we're gonna make a big hole. 00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:03.600 Flour with a hole in the middle, right. 00:14:03.640 --> 00:14:06.560 And then make your hands like this. 00:14:06.600 --> 00:14:09.760 And then mix! Mix, mix, mix. 00:14:09.800 --> 00:14:12.320 Like you're gonna be, uh, mixing. 00:14:12.360 --> 00:14:13.760 - Quick, quick, quick. - Quick, quick, quick! 00:14:13.800 --> 00:14:15.280 - Quick, quick. Just mixing, yeah. -Quick! 00:14:15.520 --> 00:14:17.480 Now, let's go to stepping. 00:14:17.520 --> 00:14:19.440 We're gonna step on the dough. 00:14:19.680 --> 00:14:21.640 Do we have to bow at it first? 00:14:21.680 --> 00:14:24.120 - You normally do. Bow, bow, bow. Okay. -Yes. 00:14:24.160 --> 00:14:27.080 Udon dough is so firm that it's traditionally kneaded 00:14:27.120 --> 00:14:28.680 with your feet. 00:14:31.280 --> 00:14:33.440 Step off from the dough, rest and done. 00:14:33.480 --> 00:14:35.080 Though it sounds like the only thing Yujiro 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:36.960 is kneading is a new pair of trousers. 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:38.240 Oh, sorry. 00:14:38.280 --> 00:14:39.640 Was that you farting, Yujiro? 00:14:39.680 --> 00:14:41.320 Sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:43.080 - You do that every bloody time. - Sorry. 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:44.760 I am so sorry. You know, this is... 00:14:44.800 --> 00:14:46.360 I was a little nervous today. 00:14:46.400 --> 00:14:48.400 - I am a little nervous. Yeah, sorry. -Do the end. 00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:50.600 Sorry, yes. I-I'm terrible. 00:14:50.640 --> 00:14:52.480 I didn't mean it. 00:14:52.520 --> 00:14:54.120 I'm sorry, sir. 00:14:54.160 --> 00:14:56.280 These noodles will taste terrible. 00:14:56.320 --> 00:14:58.320 Oh! Is that the chopping machine? 00:14:58.360 --> 00:15:00.480 - Yes. - Oh! 00:15:00.520 --> 00:15:03.440 I thought you'd do it with a knife. 00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:05.600 Is this very, very sharp? 00:15:05.640 --> 00:15:07.440 - Oh! - Ooh! 00:15:07.480 --> 00:15:10.120 Wow. Wow. 00:15:10.160 --> 00:15:12.360 That's proper Japanese sharp. 00:15:25.480 --> 00:15:27.640 - Finish! - One more. 00:15:30.880 --> 00:15:31.880 Oh! 00:15:33.920 --> 00:15:36.200 - Oh, I just got to the end of the noodle. -Okay! 00:15:36.240 --> 00:15:37.760 Yay! 00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:45.840 After our childish antics, it came as no surprise 00:15:45.880 --> 00:15:47.200 that our hosts decided 00:15:47.240 --> 00:15:50.040 the grown-ups should do the cooking. 00:15:51.720 --> 00:15:54.440 - Ah, domo arigato gozaimasu. 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.240 Although we were allowed to sit at the big table, 00:15:57.280 --> 00:15:59.280 and here, slurping is encouraged. 00:16:03.320 --> 00:16:05.360 Mm. 00:16:05.400 --> 00:16:07.160 Mm. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:08.280 Perfect! 00:16:08.320 --> 00:16:09.400 And please think of a haiku 00:16:09.440 --> 00:16:11.560 while I finish this off, okay? 00:16:11.600 --> 00:16:13.080 - Okay. - About udon, please, okay? 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:15.240 You don't have much time. 00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:21.760 A bowl of noodles 00:16:21.800 --> 00:16:24.360 tied up in Japan's history. 00:16:24.400 --> 00:16:26.360 Nothing can stop them. 00:16:27.840 --> 00:16:29.800 Udon haiku done, 00:16:29.840 --> 00:16:32.760 we head deep into the heart of Shikoku 00:16:32.800 --> 00:16:35.880 and the beautiful yet mysterious Iya Valley, 00:16:35.920 --> 00:16:38.200 home to misty gorges, 00:16:38.240 --> 00:16:40.720 1,000-year-old vine bridges 00:16:40.760 --> 00:16:43.040 and the tiny village of Nagoro. 00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:47.160 - Oh, my gosh. - Is this it? 00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:49.040 Might be. 00:16:59.760 --> 00:17:01.160 - Wow. - Oh, I actually thought 00:17:01.200 --> 00:17:03.080 that was a real person, but that's not. 00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:04.600 Look at them all. 00:17:04.640 --> 00:17:07.240 Nagoro has become famous throughout Japan 00:17:07.280 --> 00:17:10.440 as the village of the scarecrows. 00:17:14.480 --> 00:17:16.640 - So, since we arrived here... - Yeah. 00:17:16.680 --> 00:17:19.720 ...we haven't actually seen any human activity. 00:17:19.760 --> 00:17:22.280 All across the country, the population 00:17:22.320 --> 00:17:24.320 of these rural villages is plummeting 00:17:24.320 --> 00:17:25.920 as old people die 00:17:25.960 --> 00:17:29.200 and young people are lured to the big cities. 00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:31.960 So, some of these houses must be abandoned. 00:17:32.000 --> 00:17:34.160 Absolutely. I mean, it is said 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:38.080 that over eight million houses are vacant in Japan. 00:17:38.080 --> 00:17:40.080 - Really? - Yeah. 00:17:45.460 --> 00:17:47.260 That one looks just like Dan, the sound recordist. 00:17:47.340 --> 00:17:48.780 - I am Dan. - Ooh. 00:17:48.780 --> 00:17:50.940 Oh! 00:17:51.180 --> 00:17:53.820 What do you think this place is? I think it's a school. 00:17:53.860 --> 00:17:55.020 - Yeah? - That looks... 00:17:55.060 --> 00:17:56.820 That's sort of school stuff, isn't it? 00:17:56.860 --> 00:18:01.620 The last remaining children left the village in 2012, 00:18:01.700 --> 00:18:03.860 but the school is far from empty. 00:18:05.620 --> 00:18:07.580 Whoa, there's a whole class in here. 00:18:07.820 --> 00:18:09.060 Oh, my gosh. 00:18:09.060 --> 00:18:10.980 That's really terrifying. 00:18:13.060 --> 00:18:16.500 - Are you scared? - Not scared. I'm disturbed. 00:18:24.420 --> 00:18:27.260 Ah, these are people in formal Japanese dress. 00:18:27.300 --> 00:18:29.540 Yes. Kimono, yukata. 00:18:29.580 --> 00:18:31.500 Hi. Konnichiwa. 00:18:31.540 --> 00:18:33.540 Oh, konnichiwa. 00:18:33.580 --> 00:18:34.940 - Konnichiwa. - Konnichiwa. 00:18:34.980 --> 00:18:37.420 - Gozaimasu. -James-san, this is 00:18:37.460 --> 00:18:39.900 - the super artist who created all the kakashi. -Oh! 00:18:39.940 --> 00:18:41.560 - Ayano-san. - Ah, konnichiwa. Gozaimasu. 00:18:41.580 --> 00:18:43.900 Hello. I'm Ayano. Pleasure to meet you. 00:18:44.140 --> 00:18:45.140 Fantastic work. 00:18:47.780 --> 00:18:51.060 Local artist Ayano Tsukimi began creating 00:18:51.140 --> 00:18:53.820 these handmade scarecrows, known as kakashi, 00:18:53.820 --> 00:18:56.420 to replace the residents who have either died 00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:58.940 or left. 00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:02.060 Are you the only living person in the village now? 00:19:02.300 --> 00:19:05.060 There are only 27 living people in the village. 00:19:05.260 --> 00:19:06.380 Oh, only 27? 00:19:06.420 --> 00:19:09.380 And there are 270 kakashi. 00:19:09.580 --> 00:19:10.580 All people who used to live here? 00:19:10.820 --> 00:19:15.940 I make kakashi that represent the former villagers, 00:19:15.980 --> 00:19:19.940 as well as many fictional characters. 00:19:19.980 --> 00:19:24.980 I've made some of me, but I've made yours, too, James. 00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:26.940 Oh, that's me! 00:19:26.980 --> 00:19:28.540 Oh, actually, it is me. I've even got 00:19:28.580 --> 00:19:30.020 the same shirt on. 00:19:30.060 --> 00:19:32.580 Does that mean I'm dead? 00:19:32.580 --> 00:19:34.140 This kakashi, James kakashi, 00:19:34.180 --> 00:19:36.580 will be alive 24-7 00:19:36.660 --> 00:19:39.460 in this school gym. 00:19:39.500 --> 00:19:43.020 With-with James's friends. 00:19:43.060 --> 00:19:45.300 - -You know, you have lots of friends here now. 00:19:45.380 --> 00:19:47.180 I don't... I don't know how I feel 00:19:47.220 --> 00:19:48.980 about that, 'cause wherever I am in the world, 00:19:49.020 --> 00:19:50.580 I'll know that I'm actually in a gym 00:19:50.660 --> 00:19:53.500 in a tiny little village in Japan 00:19:53.540 --> 00:19:57.460 doing a dance at what seems to be a wedding. 00:19:57.500 --> 00:20:00.260 As I prepare to leave my kakashi behind 00:20:00.300 --> 00:20:02.580 in Nagoro, perhaps along with my soul, 00:20:02.660 --> 00:20:05.580 I realize it's unlikely this village 00:20:05.660 --> 00:20:08.300 will ever be repopulated with humans again. 00:20:08.300 --> 00:20:11.740 Maybe soon, the only people walking these streets 00:20:11.780 --> 00:20:14.220 will be curious gaijin like me. 00:20:14.460 --> 00:20:16.620 It's a sobering thought 00:20:16.660 --> 00:20:19.700 best summed up by something somebody else wrote. 00:20:19.740 --> 00:20:23.100 I found a haiku by Masaoka, 00:20:23.140 --> 00:20:25.500 1867 to 1902. 00:20:25.500 --> 00:20:28.100 "A sunny spring day, 00:20:28.140 --> 00:20:30.100 "people are doing nothing 00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:32.140 in the small village." 00:20:42.140 --> 00:20:45.180 After our melancholy visit to Nagoro, 00:20:45.220 --> 00:20:49.220 I was determined to leave Shikoku on a high. 00:20:49.260 --> 00:20:52.020 This whole area is absolutely stunning. 00:20:52.020 --> 00:20:55.500 It's mountainous islands draped with green. 00:20:55.580 --> 00:20:57.620 Beautiful blue water. It's actually quite hard 00:20:57.660 --> 00:20:58.980 to appreciate it from ground level, 00:20:59.020 --> 00:21:00.780 so what I thought we'd do... 00:21:00.780 --> 00:21:04.020 admittedly, it is a bit of a #FirstWorldSolution... 00:21:04.100 --> 00:21:07.940 is hire southern Japan's only floatplane 00:21:07.980 --> 00:21:10.380 and have a look at it from that. 00:21:12.980 --> 00:21:15.740 - I'm getting nervous already. - What about? 00:21:15.780 --> 00:21:18.580 I've never been on these, uh, little planes. 00:21:21.620 --> 00:21:24.100 This is like a minivan. 00:21:24.140 --> 00:21:26.020 It's so small, you know? 00:21:26.020 --> 00:21:28.100 My airplane's only got two seats, 00:21:28.140 --> 00:21:30.020 - like that one and that one. - That's all? 00:21:30.020 --> 00:21:31.460 - Yeah. - Ooh. 00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:34.100 - And you've never crashed? - Yes, I have. 00:21:34.140 --> 00:21:35.860 - You have crashed? - Yes. 00:21:35.900 --> 00:21:37.220 Oh,. 00:21:39.380 --> 00:21:40.500 Here we go. 00:21:40.500 --> 00:21:42.500 There you are. 00:21:55.460 --> 00:21:56.940 Look at this. 00:21:56.980 --> 00:21:59.940 I mean, we're at about 800, 900 feet 00:21:59.980 --> 00:22:01.140 above sea level. 00:22:01.180 --> 00:22:03.180 The view is perfect. 00:22:10.060 --> 00:22:12.020 How many islands are there in Japan? 00:22:12.060 --> 00:22:14.740 - 6,852? - Yes, officially. 00:22:14.780 --> 00:22:15.780 Wow. 00:22:16.820 --> 00:22:19.140 Incredibly, Japan has 00:22:19.180 --> 00:22:23.700 29,751 kilometers of coastline, 00:22:23.740 --> 00:22:24.740 give or take. 00:22:24.780 --> 00:22:26.060 That's more than Australia. 00:22:26.100 --> 00:22:28.820 But, in typical Japanese fashion, 00:22:28.860 --> 00:22:30.700 they don't make a fuss about it. 00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:32.740 - Do you know what's really strange? - Yes? 00:22:32.780 --> 00:22:34.780 This is one of the nicest places I've ever been. 00:22:34.820 --> 00:22:37.260 It's very, very beautiful, but it's not rammed. 00:22:37.300 --> 00:22:40.380 If this was Italy or Greece, it would be swarming 00:22:40.420 --> 00:22:42.660 with cafés and tourists and bars, 00:22:42.700 --> 00:22:44.140 and people would be 00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:46.100 on the beach, boating, everything. 00:22:46.140 --> 00:22:48.300 But not here. Everybody's very... 00:22:48.340 --> 00:22:50.340 reserved about it. 00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:54.900 We, uh, seem to, uh, resent sunshine. 00:22:54.940 --> 00:22:56.740 Yeah, you do. You don't sit outside. 00:22:56.780 --> 00:22:58.180 I think it's ironic. 00:22:58.220 --> 00:23:01.180 We are labeled as the Land of the Rising Sun. 00:23:01.220 --> 00:23:03.980 - Exactly. - And we hate the sun. 00:23:04.020 --> 00:23:06.740 All this empty, unspoiled coastline 00:23:06.780 --> 00:23:09.140 is beautiful yet baffling. 00:23:09.180 --> 00:23:12.060 I mean, apart from the 124 different species 00:23:12.100 --> 00:23:13.900 of sharks that inhabit these waters 00:23:13.940 --> 00:23:16.460 and the odd giant jellyfish and the occasional tsunami, 00:23:16.500 --> 00:23:18.620 I can't understand why the Japanese 00:23:18.660 --> 00:23:20.860 aren't making more of their beaches. 00:23:22.620 --> 00:23:25.460 - Here we go. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 00:23:25.500 --> 00:23:27.980 - Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa! - Oh, oh, oh! 00:23:29.020 --> 00:23:30.820 Whoa! 00:23:33.220 --> 00:23:37.100 That was very nice. 00:23:37.140 --> 00:23:39.660 Well, that's lunch, everybody. 00:23:39.700 --> 00:23:43.340 So, after the relative calm of Shikoku, 00:23:43.380 --> 00:23:46.980 I arrive on the rugged, mountainous island of Kyushu 00:23:47.020 --> 00:23:49.140 with a certain degree of trepidation, 00:23:49.180 --> 00:23:50.660 as this place is well-known 00:23:50.700 --> 00:23:53.940 for its abundance of volcanic activity. 00:23:53.980 --> 00:23:56.420 So, how do you like the Kyushu road? 00:23:56.460 --> 00:23:58.580 It's lovely. Is it one of those bits 00:23:58.620 --> 00:24:01.580 of Japan that could blow up at any second? 00:24:01.620 --> 00:24:03.420 Um, yes. 00:24:05.420 --> 00:24:08.340 Kyushu is not only my final island, 00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:11.460 but today marks my final day with Yujiro. 00:24:11.500 --> 00:24:13.580 And he's promised me a unique lunch 00:24:13.620 --> 00:24:16.020 in the equally unique town of Beppu, 00:24:16.060 --> 00:24:18.540 built on the largest concentration of hot springs 00:24:18.580 --> 00:24:20.260 in Japan. 00:24:24.340 --> 00:24:26.060 - So, James-san. - Mm. 00:24:26.100 --> 00:24:29.380 Welcome to the world of Jigoku Mushi. 00:24:29.420 --> 00:24:32.180 - Jigoku Mushi. - Yeah. 00:24:32.220 --> 00:24:34.740 The power of hell. 00:24:34.780 --> 00:24:37.100 Steam of hell. 00:24:39.100 --> 00:24:41.500 For years, locals have been steaming their food 00:24:41.540 --> 00:24:45.980 with the 83,000 liters of piping hot spring water 00:24:46.020 --> 00:24:48.460 that gush out every minute. 00:24:48.500 --> 00:24:50.260 Well, I think, actually, we should have vibrant vegetables. 00:24:50.300 --> 00:24:51.980 - What do you think? - Yes. 00:24:52.020 --> 00:24:54.300 So, on the machine over there, we've got to look 00:24:54.340 --> 00:24:56.260 for a man going through a plate glass window, 00:24:56.300 --> 00:24:58.300 a venetian blind, 00:24:58.340 --> 00:24:59.700 "L" and a "J," 00:24:59.740 --> 00:25:02.540 a funny man chatting up a female robot 00:25:02.580 --> 00:25:04.460 and a pile of park benches. 00:25:04.500 --> 00:25:06.180 So, there it is. There's the plate glass window, 00:25:06.220 --> 00:25:08.020 the robot woman and the pile of benches, 00:25:08.060 --> 00:25:10.180 and it's the right price, and it says "vegetables," 00:25:10.220 --> 00:25:11.820 so I reckon that's it. 00:25:11.860 --> 00:25:14.420 This cooking method is said to bring out 00:25:14.460 --> 00:25:16.900 the natural flavors of the food. 00:25:16.940 --> 00:25:19.380 There's just one downside. 00:25:19.420 --> 00:25:22.940 - Here we go. - It does smell terrible. 00:25:22.980 --> 00:25:24.020 Yes. 00:25:24.060 --> 00:25:25.700 Like sulfur. 00:25:25.740 --> 00:25:27.420 - Whew! - Start the timer. 00:25:27.460 --> 00:25:28.940 Hai. 00:25:28.980 --> 00:25:30.860 - The timer. - Lid on? 00:25:30.900 --> 00:25:32.780 No, no? Okay. Yes, please. 00:25:32.820 --> 00:25:35.460 Right, if you can still see us, 20 minutes we have to wait, 00:25:35.500 --> 00:25:38.180 then we come back and we get the vegetables out of hell. 00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:40.540 - Yes, absolutely. - Right, let's go and sit down. 00:25:40.580 --> 00:25:43.660 So, while our vegetables are steamed by the breath 00:25:43.700 --> 00:25:45.660 of Old Nick himself, 00:25:45.700 --> 00:25:47.540 there's just enough time to extinguish 00:25:47.580 --> 00:25:49.540 the flames of another burning question 00:25:49.580 --> 00:25:51.580 regarding Japanese culture. 00:25:51.620 --> 00:25:53.860 Everybody who visits Japan from the West 00:25:53.900 --> 00:25:56.780 is terrified of chopstick etiquette and how to use them. 00:25:56.820 --> 00:25:59.380 But what nobody tells you is... 00:25:59.420 --> 00:26:01.660 the type of chopstick is even more important. 00:26:01.700 --> 00:26:04.060 We have identified... by which I mean the crew... 00:26:04.100 --> 00:26:05.420 three basic types. 00:26:05.460 --> 00:26:07.380 These are beginners' chopsticks. 00:26:07.420 --> 00:26:09.380 These are the ones you get in ramen noodle bars. 00:26:09.420 --> 00:26:11.500 They're square in section, they're quite rough, 00:26:11.540 --> 00:26:12.860 and a bit splintery. 00:26:12.900 --> 00:26:15.780 These are semiprofessional chopsticks, 00:26:15.820 --> 00:26:19.220 and they're tapered, but if you look very carefully at the end, 00:26:19.260 --> 00:26:21.740 you will see that they are still square in section, 00:26:21.780 --> 00:26:23.380 which helps holding on to things. 00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:25.180 And then, finally, 00:26:25.220 --> 00:26:27.380 you have fully professional chopsticks. 00:26:27.420 --> 00:26:29.780 They are lacquered. They're very shiny and slippery. 00:26:29.820 --> 00:26:32.180 They are perfectly circular in section. 00:26:32.220 --> 00:26:34.140 We're going to have a competition... 00:26:34.180 --> 00:26:35.740 me versus Yujiro. 00:26:35.780 --> 00:26:39.060 Here is a bowl of freshly shelled... 00:26:39.100 --> 00:26:40.740 podded, whatever the word is... 00:26:40.780 --> 00:26:43.140 edamame beans, still slippery and shiny. 00:26:43.180 --> 00:26:45.420 You have to eat three edamame beans, 00:26:45.460 --> 00:26:47.420 one with each type of chopsticks, 00:26:47.460 --> 00:26:50.180 and the first person to do that is the winner. 00:26:50.220 --> 00:26:52.460 So, we're gonna have a chopsticks war? 00:26:52.500 --> 00:26:54.220 Chopstick-off. Yes. 00:26:54.260 --> 00:26:56.180 - Wait. - Somebody say "go." 00:26:56.220 --> 00:26:57.940 Three, two, one, 00:26:57.980 --> 00:26:58.980 go! 00:26:59.980 --> 00:27:01.580 Basic chopstick. 00:27:08.220 --> 00:27:09.860 - Yeah! - Very good. 00:27:11.300 --> 00:27:12.860 As he won the chopstick challenge, 00:27:12.900 --> 00:27:14.220 I've allowed Yujiro the honor 00:27:14.260 --> 00:27:16.260 of retrieving our food. 00:27:17.500 --> 00:27:18.620 Oh. 00:27:19.940 --> 00:27:22.060 So, here you are. 00:27:22.100 --> 00:27:24.140 From the world of hell. 00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:25.700 A load of vegetables. 00:27:25.740 --> 00:27:27.300 Yes! 00:27:27.340 --> 00:27:29.140 Quite nice-looking vegetables, I must say. 00:27:29.180 --> 00:27:30.820 - I'm gonna have a sprout. - Yes. 00:27:33.380 --> 00:27:34.860 Mmm. Mmm. 00:27:34.900 --> 00:27:36.380 - How is it. - Mm. 00:27:36.420 --> 00:27:38.460 Very sprouty. 00:27:38.500 --> 00:27:40.060 But... 00:27:40.100 --> 00:27:42.060 terribly overcooked. 00:27:42.100 --> 00:27:45.580 That is... that is sprouts that you serve to very old people 00:27:45.620 --> 00:27:47.820 that have no teeth left. 00:27:47.860 --> 00:27:51.180 But if soft, sulfur-smelling vegetables aren't for you, 00:27:51.220 --> 00:27:52.940 don't worry. 00:27:56.260 --> 00:27:57.940 Because in Beppu, 00:27:57.980 --> 00:28:00.340 the geothermal possibilities are endless. 00:28:00.380 --> 00:28:03.580 So, James-san, welcome to the... , 00:28:03.620 --> 00:28:05.420 the famous Japanese sand bath. 00:28:05.460 --> 00:28:07.460 We're gonna bury you. 00:28:07.500 --> 00:28:09.260 - So I just lie in the sand? - Yes. 00:28:09.300 --> 00:28:11.180 That is hot. 00:28:11.220 --> 00:28:12.420 Yes! Yes! 00:28:12.460 --> 00:28:14.820 - So, lie down... - Yes. Yes. 00:28:14.860 --> 00:28:16.060 And then they... Ow! 00:28:16.100 --> 00:28:17.380 And then they put sand on... 00:28:17.420 --> 00:28:19.100 - and put my head on here, yes? - Yes. 00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:21.740 Hai. They're gonna pour... 00:28:21.780 --> 00:28:24.140 lots of sand on top of your body. 00:28:24.180 --> 00:28:25.380 Oh, here it comes. Oh. 00:28:25.420 --> 00:28:27.180 She's making me nervous with that... 00:28:27.220 --> 00:28:28.540 Oh, that's very hot. 00:28:29.780 --> 00:28:31.340 Apparently, this is a must 00:28:31.380 --> 00:28:33.540 for those suffering constipation, 00:28:33.580 --> 00:28:35.500 chronic hemorrhoids, or anyone interested in recreating 00:28:35.540 --> 00:28:39.380 the iconic scene from Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence. 00:28:39.420 --> 00:28:41.220 Is there a safe word if you decide 00:28:41.260 --> 00:28:42.700 you don't like being buried alive? 00:28:42.740 --> 00:28:44.740 - You mean like "help"? - Yeah. 00:28:44.780 --> 00:28:46.420 Tasukete. 00:28:46.460 --> 00:28:48.700 - What does that mean? - That means, "Oh, help me." 00:28:48.740 --> 00:28:51.100 Don't put any more on my plums, please. 00:28:52.140 --> 00:28:53.380 Whilst we're immobile, 00:28:53.420 --> 00:28:55.140 a moment of honne. 00:28:55.180 --> 00:28:58.140 I just wanted to say, uh, 00:28:58.180 --> 00:29:00.940 it's been a pleasure being shown around Japan by you 00:29:00.980 --> 00:29:04.020 and learning some new words and being buried alive, 00:29:04.060 --> 00:29:05.900 so I'd like to say: 00:29:05.940 --> 00:29:09.100 Domo arigato gozaimashita. 00:29:09.140 --> 00:29:10.940 It's been a big honor 00:29:10.980 --> 00:29:14.180 guiding you around the Land of the Rising Sun. 00:29:14.220 --> 00:29:15.620 Thank you, uh, Mr. James, 00:29:15.660 --> 00:29:18.300 - and please come back again. - I will. 00:29:18.340 --> 00:29:20.780 Okay, now let's have a little sleep 00:29:20.820 --> 00:29:22.380 and think about... 00:29:22.420 --> 00:29:24.460 the wonders of Japan. 00:29:27.420 --> 00:29:29.380 Goodbye, Yujiro. 00:29:29.420 --> 00:29:31.220 It's what he would have wanted: 00:29:31.260 --> 00:29:33.500 buried in the sand. 00:29:35.540 --> 00:29:37.420 Or should I say, "buried in Japan"? 00:29:37.460 --> 00:29:39.020 That would be better. 00:29:39.060 --> 00:29:41.020 - I think he's fine, I think he's fine. -Yeah. 00:29:41.060 --> 00:29:44.140 Although I was sad to see Yujiro go, 00:29:44.180 --> 00:29:46.420 I was glad to see the back of sweaty plums 00:29:46.460 --> 00:29:47.940 and over-steamed veg. 00:29:47.980 --> 00:29:49.660 I don't want to sound mardy about this, 00:29:49.700 --> 00:29:53.780 but I've sort of had enough of dressing up in strange costumes 00:29:53.820 --> 00:29:55.380 and funny footwear... I'd really like 00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:57.340 to go and do something that I understand, 00:29:57.380 --> 00:29:59.460 like, I don't know... 00:29:59.500 --> 00:30:02.300 work a shift in a motorcycle factory. 00:30:04.140 --> 00:30:07.300 Well, as luck would have it, the largest Honda factory 00:30:07.340 --> 00:30:09.540 in Japan is right here in Kyushu. 00:30:09.580 --> 00:30:12.460 However, super efficient Japanese manufacturers 00:30:12.500 --> 00:30:15.860 are notoriously anxious about foreign TV crews 00:30:15.900 --> 00:30:18.620 coming in and slowing down production by throwing 00:30:18.660 --> 00:30:20.780 gaijin-shaped spanners into the works. 00:30:20.820 --> 00:30:22.780 So, when we arrived, we were told 00:30:22.820 --> 00:30:25.060 there were strict conditions to our filming. 00:30:25.100 --> 00:30:27.940 First, we mustn't contaminate anything. 00:30:27.980 --> 00:30:29.980 I'm being de-dusted. 00:30:40.500 --> 00:30:42.740 And, for reasons we didn't quite understand, 00:30:42.780 --> 00:30:45.860 I had to wear a white crash helmet at all times. 00:30:46.860 --> 00:30:48.660 Dust-free. 00:30:50.180 --> 00:30:52.620 However, I was prepared to put up with a lot 00:30:52.660 --> 00:30:54.900 to work on the assembly line. The only problem was, 00:30:54.940 --> 00:30:58.340 we were told that filming me working on the assembly line 00:30:58.380 --> 00:31:00.620 was completely out of the question. 00:31:00.660 --> 00:31:02.700 So we filmed something else instead. 00:31:08.420 --> 00:31:11.500 This exercise routine is common in many Japanese factories. 00:31:12.780 --> 00:31:14.620 Feels quite nice, actually. 00:31:14.660 --> 00:31:17.540 But it doesn't really justify me spending half a day here. 00:31:20.940 --> 00:31:23.220 Ah, that's the end of break time. 00:31:23.260 --> 00:31:25.020 After some pleading from the director, 00:31:25.060 --> 00:31:27.900 the team eventually agreed to let me complete the assembly 00:31:27.940 --> 00:31:31.340 of one bike... under their strict supervision. 00:31:31.380 --> 00:31:33.660 No, that's the wrong way around. Yes, yeah, yeah. 00:31:33.700 --> 00:31:35.260 Uh... that way. 00:31:35.300 --> 00:31:37.180 No, that way. Yeah. 00:31:38.740 --> 00:31:40.300 Ah-da-da-da-da-da. 00:31:41.940 --> 00:31:43.860 I don't think it's going to work from that side, is it? 00:31:46.220 --> 00:31:47.580 Ugh. 00:31:47.620 --> 00:31:49.020 Torque. 00:31:49.060 --> 00:31:51.940 I've left the spanner on there like a gaijin. 00:31:53.380 --> 00:31:55.900 Ah, we've done it the wrong side. 00:31:55.940 --> 00:31:58.780 If... you buy a Honda CB1100 00:31:58.820 --> 00:32:01.700 and you're just going to wring it out to 12,000 RPM 00:32:01.740 --> 00:32:03.740 and you're suffused with doubt, don't worry, 00:32:03.780 --> 00:32:07.300 because this one isn't going to be sold to you 00:32:07.340 --> 00:32:08.660 or, indeed, anybody. 00:32:08.700 --> 00:32:10.020 You're safe. 00:32:10.060 --> 00:32:12.100 This will probably go in the bin after I've gone. 00:32:14.180 --> 00:32:16.300 After overstaying our welcome, 00:32:16.340 --> 00:32:19.780 the Honda team were only too happy to loan us a bike 00:32:19.820 --> 00:32:21.980 so we could film some drone shots... 00:32:22.020 --> 00:32:25.140 presumably as it got the whole lot of us out of their factory. 00:32:29.780 --> 00:32:33.460 Still, we got a nice transition into our next scene. 00:32:35.140 --> 00:32:36.900 I've got an itchy nose. 00:32:36.940 --> 00:32:39.900 I always get an itchy nose in a crash helmet. 00:32:42.980 --> 00:32:44.700 Throughout my journey, 00:32:44.740 --> 00:32:47.380 I've touched upon the subject of Shintoism 00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:49.620 but never truly understood it. 00:32:49.660 --> 00:32:52.700 So I've come to the sacred and holy site 00:32:52.740 --> 00:32:54.860 of Takachiho Gorge 00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:57.100 to meet my spiritual guide, Shiho, 00:32:57.140 --> 00:33:01.580 who's promised me a who's who crash course in Shinto gods. 00:33:04.580 --> 00:33:08.100 These two, Izanami and Izanagi. 00:33:08.140 --> 00:33:11.340 And then they made many children. 00:33:11.380 --> 00:33:14.900 This is, uh, one of the very important ones. 00:33:14.940 --> 00:33:16.780 Ama Terasu... 00:33:16.820 --> 00:33:19.100 I soon realized Shintoism isn't as straightforward 00:33:19.140 --> 00:33:20.860 as these pretty pictures suggest. 00:33:20.900 --> 00:33:23.860 Actually, this Ninigi... 00:33:23.900 --> 00:33:27.300 he's the one came to Takachiho. 00:33:27.340 --> 00:33:29.980 Then the cloud got clear, 00:33:30.020 --> 00:33:32.060 and he was able to see, 00:33:32.100 --> 00:33:34.300 - and he landed safely. - Right. 00:33:34.340 --> 00:33:35.860 By the end of my course, 00:33:35.900 --> 00:33:38.100 I've learned that Izanagi and Izanami 00:33:38.140 --> 00:33:40.300 gave birth to some islands, 00:33:40.340 --> 00:33:42.220 ginger gods are naughty, 00:33:42.260 --> 00:33:45.020 the sun god hid in a cave, making the world dark, 00:33:45.060 --> 00:33:48.060 so other gods did a * dance to get her out, 00:33:48.100 --> 00:33:50.260 another god gave rice to everyone, 00:33:50.300 --> 00:33:53.660 and I can't for the life of me remember what Ninigi, 00:33:53.700 --> 00:33:56.940 Hoderi, Amaterasu or Iwanagahime did 00:33:56.980 --> 00:33:58.820 or why they're gods. 00:33:58.860 --> 00:34:01.140 Do all Japanese people understand this quite well? 00:34:01.180 --> 00:34:03.020 Do you all learn this in school? 00:34:03.060 --> 00:34:04.740 Because it's actually quite complicated. 00:34:04.780 --> 00:34:06.860 - And this is only a very small bit, isn't it? -Well... 00:34:06.900 --> 00:34:10.020 not exactly, but the people in Takachiho, 00:34:10.060 --> 00:34:12.180 they know a lot of this. 00:34:12.220 --> 00:34:14.300 I'll tell you what, for the British tourists... 00:34:14.340 --> 00:34:16.300 - Mm-hmm. - ...do it as a tea towel. 00:34:17.820 --> 00:34:19.780 We decided to sum up 00:34:19.820 --> 00:34:21.860 my newly acquired knowledge of Shintoism 00:34:21.900 --> 00:34:25.660 with a monologue from me by a mystic waterfall. 00:34:25.700 --> 00:34:28.380 A well-known Shinto legend is said to have originated 00:34:28.460 --> 00:34:31.740 at this tranquil, beautiful spot. 00:34:34.340 --> 00:34:36.340 There's some people behind us. 00:34:36.340 --> 00:34:38.060 - Yes. - Ahead of us, I mean. 00:34:38.100 --> 00:34:41.260 - Behind me. - Yes, clumsy. 00:34:41.300 --> 00:34:44.340 Rowing boat traffic jams were probably not a feature 00:34:44.340 --> 00:34:45.900 of ancient Shinto legends. 00:34:45.980 --> 00:34:47.660 Hello, viewers. 00:34:47.700 --> 00:34:50.100 You join us at a, uh, very... 00:34:50.140 --> 00:34:51.900 awkward moment. 00:34:51.980 --> 00:34:54.500 Luckily, our tough Aussie cameraman was used to filming 00:34:54.540 --> 00:34:56.740 in difficult terrain without ever complaining. 00:34:57.740 --> 00:34:59.820 I'm getting really rather wet. 00:34:59.860 --> 00:35:01.620 I'm getting really very wet. 00:35:01.660 --> 00:35:03.060 Very wet. 00:35:03.100 --> 00:35:04.700 Okay, I'm getting really wet. 00:35:05.780 --> 00:35:07.260 And then we encountered 00:35:07.300 --> 00:35:09.340 Japan's Olympic synchronized rowing team. 00:35:09.380 --> 00:35:12.300 Let's just get away from this bloke going backwards. 00:35:12.340 --> 00:35:14.260 Don't worry, there isn't gonna be a crash. 00:35:14.300 --> 00:35:17.300 Wow, we are very close to the waterfall. 00:35:17.340 --> 00:35:18.860 Okay. 00:35:18.860 --> 00:35:21.020 I'm going back and starting again. 00:35:22.180 --> 00:35:23.340 You're going back? 00:35:23.580 --> 00:35:24.860 Just a little bit. 00:35:24.900 --> 00:35:27.660 Waterfall up and by coming up. 00:35:27.700 --> 00:35:30.580 Here we come. 00:35:32.620 --> 00:35:34.300 Despite the whole scene descending 00:35:34.340 --> 00:35:36.340 into an aquatic game of dodgems, 00:35:36.340 --> 00:35:39.300 I was determined to maneuver myself into a position 00:35:39.340 --> 00:35:41.780 to deliver my peaceful and learned monologue. 00:35:42.220 --> 00:35:43.860 That's boating skills, that is! 00:35:45.580 --> 00:35:47.580 Well, he's in the way now. Hang on. 00:35:47.620 --> 00:35:49.060 Hang on, Nick. 00:35:51.500 --> 00:35:53.340 Massive crash. 00:35:53.340 --> 00:35:56.140 Eventually, we realized that whichever deity 00:35:56.180 --> 00:35:59.340 is the Shinto god of online streamed travelogues 00:35:59.380 --> 00:36:01.980 had decreed that this scene was over. 00:36:04.380 --> 00:36:06.060 Sumimasen. 00:36:06.100 --> 00:36:08.340 So, although I'm now a bit clearer on Shintoism, 00:36:08.340 --> 00:36:10.820 I still don't understand how a nation made up 00:36:10.860 --> 00:36:13.460 of 6,852 islands, 00:36:13.500 --> 00:36:15.780 give or take, seems to be populated 00:36:15.820 --> 00:36:18.340 by people who don't know how to use a boat. 00:36:18.340 --> 00:36:21.260 Historically, the Americans have been very, very worried 00:36:21.300 --> 00:36:23.060 about the Japanese Navy rearming, 00:36:23.100 --> 00:36:25.100 but if the activities on this boating lake 00:36:25.140 --> 00:36:27.500 are anything to go by, we can relax. 00:36:27.540 --> 00:36:31.260 Still, the scenery was nice, and there were ducks. 00:36:31.300 --> 00:36:33.780 - Did you bring any duck food? - No, I didn't. 00:36:34.820 --> 00:36:36.220 Hello, ducky. 00:36:36.260 --> 00:36:38.460 - They've got all the ducks. - Mm-hmm. 00:36:39.500 --> 00:36:40.660 That was a mess. 00:36:40.700 --> 00:36:42.340 But the gods willed it. 00:36:44.540 --> 00:36:47.460 The end of the journey was fast approaching, 00:36:47.500 --> 00:36:50.380 and there were still a few remaining Japanese arts 00:36:50.460 --> 00:36:52.340 that I hadn't tried. 00:36:52.380 --> 00:36:55.780 That's at least five "James is walking in Japan" shots 00:36:55.820 --> 00:36:57.780 to get me into this place. 00:36:57.820 --> 00:36:59.380 Miles up the hill. 00:37:02.700 --> 00:37:05.340 Japanese porcelain has been highly sought after 00:37:05.380 --> 00:37:07.900 since Dutch sailors first brought it back home 00:37:07.980 --> 00:37:10.260 over 300 years ago. 00:37:10.300 --> 00:37:13.740 15th-generation master craftsman Mr. Chin 00:37:13.780 --> 00:37:18.060 personally oversees production at his Kagoshima workshop. 00:37:18.100 --> 00:37:21.540 The vases here take years of know-how to create. 00:37:21.580 --> 00:37:23.980 Mine took me less than 30 minutes. 00:37:24.020 --> 00:37:26.020 Amateurs. 00:37:26.060 --> 00:37:28.540 If you were to put this in your shop, 00:37:28.580 --> 00:37:31.100 glazed and fired, 00:37:31.140 --> 00:37:33.060 how much would it sell for? 00:37:36.020 --> 00:37:38.780 After that reaction, we cut this scene short. 00:37:38.820 --> 00:37:42.100 So we went off to film some more walking shots, 00:37:42.140 --> 00:37:44.820 this time including a critical door shut. 00:37:44.860 --> 00:37:46.020 Okay. 00:37:46.060 --> 00:37:48.620 - How was that? - That was good. 00:37:48.660 --> 00:37:51.060 And I had a crack at some floral artistry. 00:37:51.100 --> 00:37:52.700 In flower arranging terms, 00:37:52.740 --> 00:37:55.060 this is freestyle modern jazz. 00:37:55.100 --> 00:37:58.620 So, it's... We're... It's coming to us 00:37:58.660 --> 00:38:00.460 in the artistry of the moment. 00:38:01.860 --> 00:38:05.380 What do you think? 00:38:05.460 --> 00:38:07.820 Well, I thought it was pretty good, but the crew said 00:38:07.860 --> 00:38:10.300 it was all a bit "horti" and "cultural." 00:38:10.340 --> 00:38:13.100 So they persuaded me to have a go 00:38:13.140 --> 00:38:17.140 at something altogether more entertaining instead. 00:38:18.620 --> 00:38:20.980 This wasn't my idea, 00:38:21.020 --> 00:38:23.780 but it was awarded, by UNESCO, 00:38:23.820 --> 00:38:28.380 the status of Intangible Cultural Heritage art form. 00:38:28.460 --> 00:38:31.220 And it is... you've almost certainly guessed by now... 00:38:31.260 --> 00:38:33.700 Bunraku puppetry. 00:38:33.740 --> 00:38:35.500 And I've no idea what happens next, 00:38:35.540 --> 00:38:38.860 except that I'm gonna have my arm inside a samurai. 00:38:44.220 --> 00:38:45.780 Bunraku puppetry involves 00:38:45.820 --> 00:38:47.340 black-clad performers operating 00:38:47.380 --> 00:38:50.180 different sections of a half-sized doll 00:38:50.220 --> 00:38:52.980 as it acts out a chanted narrative, 00:38:53.020 --> 00:38:55.380 often on serious themes involving social obligation 00:38:55.460 --> 00:38:57.820 and human emotions. 00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:15.500 The plan was for me to do something really easy, 00:39:15.540 --> 00:39:17.780 like operate the left toe of a minor character 00:39:17.820 --> 00:39:20.020 while looking all solemn and serious 00:39:20.060 --> 00:39:21.820 and then wax lyrical about the importance 00:39:21.860 --> 00:39:24.340 of preserving Japanese ancient tradition. 00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:33.900 However, that memo got lost in translation. 00:39:33.980 --> 00:39:36.900 So, when I arrived, the theater company were expecting me 00:39:36.980 --> 00:39:39.540 to perform something I'd written myself. 00:39:39.580 --> 00:39:42.540 Cue some very hasty writing. 00:39:42.580 --> 00:39:44.900 I ought to explain that I've written a very, very short, 00:39:44.980 --> 00:39:47.100 mercifully simple play. 00:39:47.140 --> 00:39:49.500 Not play. It's a... it's a soliloquy, really, 00:39:49.540 --> 00:39:51.100 about my journey across Japan, 00:39:51.140 --> 00:39:53.580 which we are going to act out in the traditional way. 00:39:53.620 --> 00:39:56.260 But not only have I been promoted from bit player 00:39:56.300 --> 00:39:59.900 to author; I also discover I'm now the chief puppeteer. 00:39:59.980 --> 00:40:01.500 Where am I, hidari? 00:40:01.540 --> 00:40:03.740 - No. You... - Oh, I'm the head? 00:40:03.780 --> 00:40:06.460 H-Head and right hand, uh, right hand. 00:40:06.500 --> 00:40:08.860 Head. Oh, I'm the head and the migi. 00:40:08.860 --> 00:40:10.820 Oh, this is gonna be just ridiculous. 00:40:10.860 --> 00:40:13.540 In case you're thinking this wasn't a very good idea, 00:40:13.580 --> 00:40:16.700 I'd like to remind you it wasn't mine. 00:40:16.740 --> 00:40:18.700 That's the mouth. Yes? 00:40:18.740 --> 00:40:20.540 - Mm. Eye. - No, that's the eyebrows. 00:40:20.580 --> 00:40:22.300 Hi. 00:40:22.340 --> 00:40:23.780 - That's the mouth. - Uh-uh. 00:40:23.820 --> 00:40:25.060 - No? - Eyes close. 00:40:25.100 --> 00:40:26.900 I've lost the control over his face. 00:40:26.980 --> 00:40:29.620 We will have the hang of this in no time at all. 00:40:29.660 --> 00:40:30.700 Eyebrows up. 00:40:30.740 --> 00:40:31.900 - Down. - Down. 00:40:31.980 --> 00:40:33.300 - Ha-ha. - This is going to be terrible. 00:40:34.660 --> 00:40:38.060 Astonishingly, close to 100 people 00:40:38.100 --> 00:40:40.780 have turned up to see the premiere 00:40:40.820 --> 00:40:42.860 of my hastily written Bunraku opus. 00:40:42.900 --> 00:40:45.020 We'll count them again at the end. 00:40:46.820 --> 00:40:48.340 These are my fingers. That's the head. 00:40:48.340 --> 00:40:50.060 That makes it tip and turn. 00:40:50.100 --> 00:40:52.300 And one of those is the mouth and one of them is the eyebrows 00:40:52.340 --> 00:40:53.780 and one of them swivels the eyes, 00:40:53.820 --> 00:40:55.580 but I can't quite remember which order they're in. 00:40:55.620 --> 00:40:57.380 So, um, anyway, let's find out. 00:40:57.460 --> 00:40:58.820 I'll say in advance, 00:40:58.860 --> 00:41:00.860 because this is an insult to the Japanese 00:41:00.900 --> 00:41:02.540 and cultural misappropriation, 00:41:02.580 --> 00:41:04.340 sumimasen, as usual. 00:41:04.340 --> 00:41:05.700 Thank you. 00:41:41.340 --> 00:41:43.860 I am Bim. 00:41:43.860 --> 00:41:47.380 I came from a country far away. 00:41:47.460 --> 00:41:49.500 I am a foreigner. 00:41:52.460 --> 00:41:57.740 My journey began in Hokkaido. 00:41:57.780 --> 00:42:05.060 Even though I was wearing the coat I brought, 00:42:05.100 --> 00:42:09.820 I was shivering. 00:42:09.860 --> 00:42:16.540 When I climbed the mountain, I fell on my arse. 00:42:18.380 --> 00:42:24.740 I drunk the Asahi beer as if I was showering in it. 00:42:24.780 --> 00:42:35.340 And the next day, my head roared like a volcano. 00:42:36.260 --> 00:42:41.860 I drunk too much and vomited copiously. 00:42:44.140 --> 00:42:53.620 And now my journey ends, on the island of gods. 00:42:55.340 --> 00:42:57.180 Sorry. 00:42:57.220 --> 00:43:02.100 From fat stupid foreigner. 00:43:05.500 --> 00:43:10.180 Unsurprisingly, my performance was met with stunned silence. 00:43:11.820 --> 00:43:14.340 The ornate curtain, however, 00:43:14.340 --> 00:43:16.100 was a huge hit. 00:43:21.660 --> 00:43:23.060 Was it terrible? 00:43:23.820 --> 00:43:25.860 They looked a little bit bewildered, to be honest. 00:43:28.660 --> 00:43:31.340 Right, but it wasn't a complete disaster. 00:43:31.340 --> 00:43:33.340 So I've contributed to the preservation 00:43:33.340 --> 00:43:35.540 of important Japanese traditions. 00:43:35.580 --> 00:43:37.780 Thank you very much for your time. 00:43:42.580 --> 00:43:45.180 So, after an 11-week odyssey 00:43:45.220 --> 00:43:47.900 beginning in northern Hokkaido, 00:43:47.940 --> 00:43:51.300 crossing the islands of Honshu and Shikoku, 00:43:51.340 --> 00:43:54.940 I now make my way to the southern tip of Kyushu 00:43:54.980 --> 00:43:57.660 for what will be my final scene. 00:43:58.820 --> 00:44:01.620 Japan update, subject: the end. 00:44:01.660 --> 00:44:05.500 I have covered a total of 00:44:05.540 --> 00:44:09.820 7,223 kilometers in this car. 00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:13.460 I have just eight to go. 00:44:13.500 --> 00:44:15.580 And I wondered if, at this point, 00:44:15.620 --> 00:44:17.780 you would like to see a little montage 00:44:17.820 --> 00:44:20.020 of all the things we've been up to. 00:44:20.060 --> 00:44:21.740 No? 00:44:21.780 --> 00:44:22.980 Oh, you do? 00:44:23.020 --> 00:44:24.180 Okay, here it is. 00:44:24.220 --> 00:44:25.900 Shall we go? 00:44:32.220 --> 00:44:34.100 I got off to a shaky start... 00:44:34.140 --> 00:44:36.020 Hai. 00:44:36.060 --> 00:44:38.180 James, be careful, be careful! 00:44:38.220 --> 00:44:39.080 Okay? It's my fault, yes. 00:44:39.140 --> 00:44:39.960 It's your fault. 00:44:40.420 --> 00:44:42.340 I feel like a pervert. 00:44:42.380 --> 00:44:45.060 ...but soon made a lasting impression on the locals. 00:44:49.300 --> 00:44:51.660 Are you mad? 00:44:51.700 --> 00:44:54.900 I've gone toe-to-toe with Japanese technology... 00:44:57.260 --> 00:44:59.100 Maki just shot me in the robo plums. 00:45:00.420 --> 00:45:01.540 Crikey. 00:45:01.820 --> 00:45:03.460 Bim, guess what? 00:45:03.700 --> 00:45:05.500 If this actually makes it into the program... 00:45:05.540 --> 00:45:07.980 I'll know we were really desperate. 00:45:08.020 --> 00:45:10.540 ...commented on some curious customs... 00:45:10.580 --> 00:45:11.680 And this used to be a cat? 00:45:11.960 --> 00:45:14.880 ...impressed some masters of haiku with my poetry... 00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:16.680 Can I send that to you? 00:45:16.720 --> 00:45:18.840 And then you can give me an honest critique 00:45:18.880 --> 00:45:20.280 and send it back. 00:45:20.320 --> 00:45:21.720 Oh, sure. 00:45:21.760 --> 00:45:23.840 We never heard back. 00:45:23.880 --> 00:45:25.680 And I've learned the most valuable word 00:45:25.720 --> 00:45:28.880 in my Japanese vocabulary. 00:45:29.040 --> 00:45:30.000 Sorry. 00:45:30.120 --> 00:45:31.760 - Sumimasen. - Sumimasen. 00:45:31.800 --> 00:45:34.520 - Sumimasen. -Sumimasen. - Sumimasen. 00:45:34.560 --> 00:45:36.160 - Sumimasen. - Sumimasen. 00:45:37.760 --> 00:45:39.480 Sumimasen. 00:45:39.520 --> 00:45:41.560 And there are a few other things that we've done 00:45:41.600 --> 00:45:43.880 that haven't made it into the main body of the film, 00:45:43.920 --> 00:45:45.880 such as this. 00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:47.800 In Japan, you can, of course, buy sweets from a corner shop. 00:45:47.840 --> 00:45:49.200 Some of them are excellent. 00:45:49.240 --> 00:45:50.920 I particularly like Meltykiss and Collon bar. 00:45:50.960 --> 00:45:53.280 But here's a shop that's been making sweets for 210 years 00:45:53.320 --> 00:45:55.000 to the traditional wagashi method, out of beans. 00:45:55.040 --> 00:45:56.880 I wonder how they do that. Let's find out. 00:45:59.360 --> 00:46:00.560 Yes! 00:46:00.600 --> 00:46:02.680 Oh, and there was this. 00:46:02.720 --> 00:46:07.400 Were you riding horse number eight in race number six? 00:46:10.680 --> 00:46:12.360 Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten about this. 00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:15.440 This is James May-san beer-u kudasai. 00:46:15.480 --> 00:46:17.200 Could you send beer to Osaka? 00:46:17.240 --> 00:46:19.000 - Yes. - Okay. Perfect. 00:46:19.040 --> 00:46:21.520 He shipped it to the hotel we were in yesterday. 00:46:21.560 --> 00:46:23.520 Our own beer pursues us across Japan 00:46:23.560 --> 00:46:25.960 to the old imperial court of Osaka. 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:28.320 I didn't bring a bottle opener. 00:46:28.360 --> 00:46:29.760 What?! 00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:44.160 And so, just as my journey began, 00:46:44.200 --> 00:46:47.920 on a beach in Japan's icy north... 00:46:49.600 --> 00:46:53.320 ...it now ends on a beach in the balmy south, 00:46:53.360 --> 00:46:56.000 at Kagoshima. 00:46:58.240 --> 00:47:00.360 Earlier in this journey, I vowed that, 00:47:00.400 --> 00:47:04.640 at its end, I would sum up my entire experience in Japan 00:47:04.680 --> 00:47:06.600 in a single haiku. 00:47:06.640 --> 00:47:08.600 Now, just to recap, the haiku 00:47:08.640 --> 00:47:10.600 is an ancient Japanese poetry form 00:47:10.640 --> 00:47:13.160 that relies on brevity and imagery, 00:47:13.200 --> 00:47:15.560 and it consists of just 17 syllables 00:47:15.600 --> 00:47:19.560 in three lines of five, seven and five. 00:47:19.600 --> 00:47:21.360 "The peasant hoes on. 00:47:21.400 --> 00:47:23.160 "The stranger who asked the way 00:47:23.200 --> 00:47:25.160 Is long out of sight." 00:47:25.200 --> 00:47:27.120 But here we arrive at a problem, 00:47:27.160 --> 00:47:30.440 because the great haiku masters of olden times, 00:47:30.480 --> 00:47:32.840 Basho and Issa, they were generally talking 00:47:32.880 --> 00:47:34.080 about quite small things, 00:47:34.120 --> 00:47:36.080 like a frog sitting on a leaf 00:47:36.120 --> 00:47:37.800 or some cherry blossom 00:47:37.840 --> 00:47:40.520 or a bamboo hat or a hoeing peasant. 00:47:40.560 --> 00:47:45.480 It's not really a very good form for describing a whole country. 00:47:45.520 --> 00:47:49.040 But, unfortunately, I'm bound by honor 00:47:49.080 --> 00:47:51.320 to fulfill my vow. 00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:53.560 So, here goes. 00:47:56.200 --> 00:47:58.520 A shrine bell sounding. 00:47:58.560 --> 00:48:01.400 Shinkansen and shamisen. 00:48:01.440 --> 00:48:04.120 A petal falling. 00:48:04.160 --> 00:48:06.760 But then I thought to myself, "Hey, Bim," I thought, 00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:08.960 "That's pretentious crap." And indeed it is. 00:48:09.000 --> 00:48:10.640 And if you put "haiku" into the Internet, 00:48:10.680 --> 00:48:12.320 you will get so many of them out 00:48:12.360 --> 00:48:14.200 that if you printed them all, you could make 00:48:14.240 --> 00:48:16.680 a solid papier-mâché Mount Fuji. 00:48:16.720 --> 00:48:19.160 So I had a bit of a walk on the beach, 00:48:19.200 --> 00:48:20.760 and I had another think. 00:48:20.800 --> 00:48:22.840 And this is my final effort. 00:48:29.200 --> 00:48:31.040 Japan, your meaning 00:48:31.080 --> 00:48:34.240 May be in Matsushima 00:48:34.280 --> 00:48:36.600 Or a pickled plum. 00:48:39.960 --> 00:48:42.640 Mmm. 00:48:42.680 --> 00:48:44.640 See ya. 00:48:55.120 --> 00:48:57.480 I don't... I don't know how I feel about that, 00:48:57.520 --> 00:48:59.320 'cause wherever I am in the world, I'll know 00:48:59.360 --> 00:49:02.120 that I'm actually in a tiny little village in Japan.