WEBVTT 00:00:34.998 --> 00:00:36.207 Give me that. 00:00:43.339 --> 00:00:44.924 It never gets old. 00:01:20.502 --> 00:01:21.544 Mom, what are you doing? 00:01:21.586 --> 00:01:22.754 For crying out loud, Malcolm, 00:01:22.837 --> 00:01:25.757 why am I paying for underpants that you're not wearing? 00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:26.758 Mom. 00:01:26.841 --> 00:01:29.886 Why are you not wearing your underpants? 00:01:29.886 --> 00:01:31.763 I want to wear boxers. 00:01:31.805 --> 00:01:32.764 Oh, really? 00:01:32.806 --> 00:01:33.765 Well, you may think 00:01:33.807 --> 00:01:35.391 you suddenly need all the extra room, 00:01:35.391 --> 00:01:36.768 but let me tell you, my dear, 00:01:36.810 --> 00:01:39.229 you are getting way ahead of yourself. 00:01:41.564 --> 00:01:46.611 Just once, I'd like a childhood memory I don't have to repress. 00:01:51.991 --> 00:01:54.410 Do you think maybe Dewey's 00:01:54.452 --> 00:01:56.704 getting a little old for stuffed animals? 00:01:59.666 --> 00:02:03.837 Maybe we should start thinking about weaning him off Domingo. 00:02:03.878 --> 00:02:06.381 I guess that part of his childhood is over. 00:02:06.422 --> 00:02:08.842 So sad. 00:02:08.883 --> 00:02:10.885 Our little baby is growing up. 00:02:10.927 --> 00:02:11.970 Give me that. 00:02:11.970 --> 00:02:12.095 Give me that. 00:02:14.055 --> 00:02:15.265 Hey, 00:02:15.306 --> 00:02:17.600 check out the new kid. 00:02:17.642 --> 00:02:20.728 STEVIE: Fresh... 00:02:20.770 --> 00:02:22.105 meat. 00:02:22.147 --> 00:02:24.357 You no longer have to live in fear. 00:02:24.440 --> 00:02:26.192 What are you talking about? 00:02:26.276 --> 00:02:29.237 The hazing we put you through is over. 00:02:29.320 --> 00:02:30.238 What hazing? 00:02:30.321 --> 00:02:31.239 Oh, come on. 00:02:31.322 --> 00:02:34.033 When we gave you the warped lunch tray? 00:02:35.326 --> 00:02:37.245 When we dulled the points on your pencils? 00:02:38.538 --> 00:02:41.207 When you sneezed and no one said "Bless you"? 00:02:41.249 --> 00:02:43.209 I still feel bad about that. 00:02:43.251 --> 00:02:46.212 Now she's taking your place as the whipping boy. 00:02:46.254 --> 00:02:47.839 You know, you guys get dumped on and tortured 00:02:47.881 --> 00:02:49.257 by the entire school. 00:02:49.340 --> 00:02:51.593 Why would you want to do it to someone else? 00:02:53.344 --> 00:02:55.513 You guys don't even know this girl. Maybe she's nice. 00:02:57.765 --> 00:02:59.184 Hi. 00:02:59.225 --> 00:03:00.226 I'm Malcolm. 00:03:00.268 --> 00:03:01.477 Cynthia. 00:03:01.519 --> 00:03:03.188 So, you're new here. 00:03:03.229 --> 00:03:06.774 Yeah... my dad wanted to get away from Manhattan, 00:03:06.816 --> 00:03:08.234 but I think the real reason is 00:03:08.276 --> 00:03:10.069 that my mom's remarriage hit him pretty hard 00:03:10.111 --> 00:03:12.197 and he thinks that a new environment would help. 00:03:12.238 --> 00:03:13.948 The truth is, nothing's been the same 00:03:13.990 --> 00:03:16.701 since my brother died in the boating accident. 00:03:18.244 --> 00:03:20.914 (laughing): Just kidding. 00:03:20.955 --> 00:03:22.332 What? 00:03:22.373 --> 00:03:25.543 Get... a room. 00:03:26.961 --> 00:03:29.297 Anyway, I'll see you later 00:03:29.339 --> 00:03:31.799 and I'm glad your brother's okay. 00:03:31.883 --> 00:03:33.718 I don't have a brother. 00:03:54.405 --> 00:04:00.078 Cadets, apparently one of you felt the compelling need 00:04:00.119 --> 00:04:06.251 to take my '37 Stutz Bearcat for a joyride in a cornfield. 00:04:06.292 --> 00:04:09.379 You may be sure the responsible party 00:04:09.420 --> 00:04:12.006 will be disciplined. 00:04:12.048 --> 00:04:13.258 Now, I know 00:04:13.299 --> 00:04:17.387 in the past I have resorted to grueling midnight hikes 00:04:17.428 --> 00:04:19.639 through leech- infested swamps 00:04:19.681 --> 00:04:23.268 or the repetitive digging and filling of ditches, 00:04:23.309 --> 00:04:24.602 et cetera, et cetera. 00:04:24.644 --> 00:04:27.563 But things have changed. 00:04:27.605 --> 00:04:29.774 Due to a recent court decision 00:04:29.857 --> 00:04:33.194 involving corporal punishment, 00:04:33.236 --> 00:04:38.992 a loophole has allowed me to unretire "Old Hickory." 00:04:48.626 --> 00:04:52.630 Mmm. He hungers for the sting 00:04:52.672 --> 00:04:55.133 of insolent flesh. 00:05:00.179 --> 00:05:01.139 Hi, Dad. 00:05:01.180 --> 00:05:02.515 Oh, hey, son. What's up? 00:05:02.557 --> 00:05:04.559 I need a little favor. 00:05:04.642 --> 00:05:06.477 Oh, I'll try. What do you need? 00:05:06.519 --> 00:05:08.813 An alibi. If anyone asks, you just have to say 00:05:08.813 --> 00:05:10.982 we were on a father-son fishing trip yesterday. 00:05:10.982 --> 00:05:11.858 What did you do? 00:05:11.899 --> 00:05:12.859 Really, Dad, 00:05:12.900 --> 00:05:14.068 do the specifics matter? 00:05:14.110 --> 00:05:15.862 I mean, you have to do this for me. 00:05:15.903 --> 00:05:17.488 I am not going to lie for you. 00:05:17.530 --> 00:05:20.116 Okay, I'm calling in my chit. 00:05:20.158 --> 00:05:22.452 What chit? You know, the one-time thing. 00:05:22.493 --> 00:05:24.454 I just call it in and you do it, no questions asked. 00:05:24.495 --> 00:05:27.582 That doesn't exist, Francis. Dad. 00:05:27.623 --> 00:05:29.083 No, I'm sorry, son, I can't help you. 00:05:29.125 --> 00:05:30.668 You're gonna have to face the consequences 00:05:30.668 --> 00:05:32.086 of your actions like a grown-up. 00:05:32.128 --> 00:05:36.299 All I have to say is, I am very disappointed in you. 00:05:36.341 --> 00:05:37.508 Was that Francis? 00:05:37.592 --> 00:05:38.676 How's he doing? 00:05:38.760 --> 00:05:40.303 Good. He... he, uh... 00:05:40.345 --> 00:05:42.680 just got a "B" on his history final. 00:05:42.764 --> 00:05:44.182 Good for him. 00:05:44.182 --> 00:05:45.433 You know, this is the longest he's ever gone 00:05:45.516 --> 00:05:47.018 without getting into any kind of trouble. 00:05:47.060 --> 00:05:49.187 Maybe things are finally starting to turn around. 00:05:59.238 --> 00:06:02.950 So, why are you here so late? 00:06:03.034 --> 00:06:05.370 I had to use the school computer. 00:06:05.411 --> 00:06:07.121 Why are you here so late? 00:06:07.205 --> 00:06:08.581 I really liked what you said in class 00:06:08.623 --> 00:06:10.958 about the search for intelligent life in the universe. 00:06:11.042 --> 00:06:12.543 And you waited out here to tell me that? 00:06:12.585 --> 00:06:13.753 You know, I was thinking, 00:06:13.795 --> 00:06:15.046 why are we even bothering 00:06:15.046 --> 00:06:16.589 to send signals into deep space? 00:06:16.631 --> 00:06:18.925 If we do make contact with extraterrestrials, 00:06:18.966 --> 00:06:20.968 we'll probably just wind up doing their laundry. 00:06:22.303 --> 00:06:23.304 Just kidding. 00:06:23.346 --> 00:06:26.057 So, what's it like having a brother? 00:06:26.099 --> 00:06:27.308 I don't know. 00:06:27.350 --> 00:06:29.852 Well, I've got to go home now. Bye. 00:06:29.894 --> 00:06:31.396 Bye. 00:06:46.411 --> 00:06:47.912 What's going on? 00:06:47.912 --> 00:06:49.872 Some weird new girl from school 00:06:49.914 --> 00:06:51.499 actually followed me home. 00:06:51.582 --> 00:06:52.917 Really? Is she cute? 00:06:52.917 --> 00:06:55.753 Hey, is this what that whole boxer shorts thing is all about? 00:06:55.795 --> 00:06:58.464 Mom, please don't. 00:07:00.508 --> 00:07:01.926 Hi. 00:07:03.428 --> 00:07:04.512 Thank you again for inviting me. 00:07:04.595 --> 00:07:05.596 LOIS: Oh, you're welcome. 00:07:05.638 --> 00:07:06.764 If my son weren't such 00:07:06.806 --> 00:07:08.307 an unforgivably rude little pig, 00:07:08.349 --> 00:07:10.101 he would have invited you himself. 00:07:10.101 --> 00:07:12.103 You be nicer to her. 00:07:12.103 --> 00:07:13.604 She obviously has no friends at all. 00:07:13.646 --> 00:07:15.273 Malcolm, would you ask your girlfriend 00:07:15.273 --> 00:07:16.274 to pass the potatoes? 00:07:17.650 --> 00:07:21.654 Malcolm, would you thank your girlfriend for me? 00:07:22.822 --> 00:07:25.450 So, Cynthia, you're in Malcolm's class. 00:07:25.491 --> 00:07:26.367 Yeah. 00:07:28.453 --> 00:07:30.455 Huh. 00:07:30.455 --> 00:07:32.915 Malcolm, would you ask your girlfriend 00:07:32.957 --> 00:07:34.125 if she would like some peas? 00:07:34.208 --> 00:07:35.751 We get it. 00:07:35.793 --> 00:07:39.130 Thank you, Mr. Chicken, for giving up your life 00:07:39.213 --> 00:07:40.965 so that I can continue to live. 00:07:40.965 --> 00:07:42.467 What are you doing? 00:07:42.467 --> 00:07:44.260 I know if someone killed me and ate me, 00:07:44.302 --> 00:07:46.137 I'd like them to at least say thank you. 00:07:47.221 --> 00:07:49.640 Hello. 00:07:49.640 --> 00:07:52.560 This is Commandant Spangler from the Marlin Academy. 00:07:52.602 --> 00:07:53.603 Oh, yes. 00:07:53.644 --> 00:07:54.562 Sorry to disturb you. 00:07:54.604 --> 00:07:55.813 I'm just calling because 00:07:55.897 --> 00:07:57.648 we had an incident up here last weekend, 00:07:57.732 --> 00:07:59.233 and I've done a thorough investigation, 00:07:59.317 --> 00:08:00.651 and it appears your son Francis 00:08:00.693 --> 00:08:02.820 is a prime suspect. 00:08:02.862 --> 00:08:04.238 Well, that's impossible 00:08:04.322 --> 00:08:06.365 because he was with me last weekend. 00:08:06.407 --> 00:08:07.992 He was? 00:08:07.992 --> 00:08:10.661 Yes. Yes, we went fishing. 00:08:10.661 --> 00:08:11.537 You're sure? 00:08:11.579 --> 00:08:12.663 Smallmouth bass. 00:08:12.705 --> 00:08:13.998 Boy, those babies'll fight you. 00:08:13.998 --> 00:08:15.833 Yeah, I got the fish to prove it. 00:08:15.875 --> 00:08:17.835 You know, I should send you some. 00:08:17.877 --> 00:08:18.711 No, that's quite all right. 00:08:18.753 --> 00:08:20.171 No, I insist. 00:08:20.213 --> 00:08:23.174 Yeah, I got a freezer full of 'em. 00:08:27.178 --> 00:08:29.555 Okay, where's Domingo? 00:08:30.515 --> 00:08:32.517 Come on, I can smell him. 00:08:32.517 --> 00:08:34.018 Honey, do you think 00:08:34.101 --> 00:08:37.438 I just took Domingo away from you 00:08:37.480 --> 00:08:38.314 because I'm mean? 00:08:38.356 --> 00:08:39.649 Absolutely. 00:08:39.690 --> 00:08:40.608 Dewey, the reason 00:08:40.650 --> 00:08:42.193 I had to take your teddy bear away 00:08:42.276 --> 00:08:43.611 is because he's very dirty. 00:08:43.653 --> 00:08:44.779 He's covered with germs 00:08:44.820 --> 00:08:46.697 and he could make you very sick. 00:08:46.781 --> 00:08:47.990 He wouldn't do that. 00:08:48.032 --> 00:08:49.492 He loves me. 00:08:49.534 --> 00:08:50.993 It's the germs, sweetie. 00:08:51.035 --> 00:08:53.788 There're tiny bugs carrying disease, 00:08:53.829 --> 00:08:55.456 and Domingo is covered with them. 00:08:55.498 --> 00:08:57.542 Now, when you touch him, they get on your hands, 00:08:57.542 --> 00:08:59.877 and what do you suppose happens if you touch your eyes? 00:08:59.961 --> 00:09:01.546 Well, I'll tell you what happens. 00:09:01.546 --> 00:09:04.006 The germs get in there and they infect them, 00:09:04.048 --> 00:09:05.174 and you get very sick 00:09:05.216 --> 00:09:06.968 and eventually your optic nerve rots away 00:09:07.051 --> 00:09:09.136 and your eyes fall out. 00:09:09.220 --> 00:09:11.639 Now, if you want to keep Domingo, you can. 00:09:11.722 --> 00:09:15.601 But if you want to keep your eyes, you'll give Domingo to me. 00:09:17.395 --> 00:09:20.940 You made the smart choice, sweetie. 00:09:22.441 --> 00:09:24.485 Sleep tight. 00:09:28.656 --> 00:09:29.865 Hey, Malcolm. 00:09:29.907 --> 00:09:31.867 I want to sit alone. 00:09:31.909 --> 00:09:32.868 Yeah, hi. 00:09:32.910 --> 00:09:34.829 So, I signed us up as lab partners. 00:09:34.870 --> 00:09:35.871 You know, Cynthia, 00:09:35.913 --> 00:09:37.915 you're spending all your time with me. 00:09:37.957 --> 00:09:39.709 Maybe it'd be a good thing 00:09:39.750 --> 00:09:41.669 if you branched out a little bit? 00:09:41.711 --> 00:09:43.504 Just seemed like a good idea. 00:09:43.546 --> 00:09:44.755 We get along so well, 00:09:44.839 --> 00:09:47.758 I just thought we've got a good thing going. 00:09:47.758 --> 00:09:48.884 "Thing"? 00:09:48.926 --> 00:09:49.885 Ooh, Malcolm, 00:09:49.927 --> 00:09:51.679 having lunch with your girlfriend? 00:09:51.721 --> 00:09:53.097 She's not my girlfriend. 00:09:53.097 --> 00:09:54.098 Oh, I don't know. 00:09:54.098 --> 00:09:55.683 I think I see a spark. 00:09:55.725 --> 00:09:56.684 Boop. 00:09:56.726 --> 00:09:57.852 Please don't touch me. 00:09:57.893 --> 00:09:59.437 Yeah, that'll work. 00:09:59.520 --> 00:10:01.731 Oh, she doesn't like to be touched. 00:10:01.772 --> 00:10:05.109 Well, then, maybe I'll do this. Ow! 00:10:05.109 --> 00:10:09.864 Now, say your body is composed entirely of snot. 00:10:09.905 --> 00:10:12.700 My body is composed entirely of snot. 00:10:12.783 --> 00:10:14.452 Anything you want to add? I'm good. 00:10:17.997 --> 00:10:18.956 What was that? 00:10:18.998 --> 00:10:20.207 It's Krav Maga-- 00:10:20.291 --> 00:10:23.169 the official self-defense system of the Israeli army. 00:10:23.210 --> 00:10:25.296 Maybe I'll show you sometime 00:10:25.338 --> 00:10:27.673 if you think you can handle it. 00:10:42.063 --> 00:10:43.731 What's with all the fish? 00:10:43.814 --> 00:10:45.399 Oh, nothing, I just did something incredibly stupid 00:10:45.441 --> 00:10:46.651 and shortsighted. 00:10:46.692 --> 00:10:48.361 You going to put those in the freezer? 00:10:48.402 --> 00:10:49.528 Just for tonight. 00:10:49.570 --> 00:10:52.406 Tomorrow they go in the mail. 00:10:54.158 --> 00:10:55.368 Dewey, what are you doing? 00:10:55.409 --> 00:10:56.744 I'm killing the germs. 00:10:56.786 --> 00:10:58.162 I hate germs. 00:10:58.204 --> 00:10:59.622 Germs are scary. 00:11:00.831 --> 00:11:03.793 Don't forget the germs in the oven. 00:11:04.835 --> 00:11:06.671 (phone rings) Hello. 00:11:06.712 --> 00:11:07.838 You are the best dad ever. 00:11:07.880 --> 00:11:08.923 I am not. 00:11:08.964 --> 00:11:10.257 I'm a terrible dad. 00:11:10.299 --> 00:11:12.218 I never should've lied for you. 00:11:12.259 --> 00:11:14.345 Well, the important thing is that this is all behind us 00:11:14.387 --> 00:11:15.680 and I've learned my lesson. 00:11:15.721 --> 00:11:16.681 What lesson is that? 00:11:16.722 --> 00:11:19.558 That you are the best dad ever. 00:11:19.642 --> 00:11:23.312 You know, Francis, I don't feel much like talking right now. 00:11:27.942 --> 00:11:29.527 Yes, Commandant Spangler, 00:11:29.568 --> 00:11:31.696 this is Francis' father. 00:11:31.696 --> 00:11:36.033 I'm-I'm afraid I... lied to you. 00:11:36.075 --> 00:11:39.787 Francis is the cadet responsible for damaging your car. 00:11:39.870 --> 00:11:41.706 I see. 00:11:43.290 --> 00:11:47.795 Well, that puts me in somewhat of an awkward position. 00:11:47.878 --> 00:11:52.091 You see, the culprit is being disciplined as we speak. 00:11:52.133 --> 00:11:53.509 But Francis did it. 00:11:53.551 --> 00:11:55.177 You-You're punishing the wrong cadet. 00:11:55.219 --> 00:11:56.512 I beg your pardon. 00:11:56.554 --> 00:11:59.390 In my 30 years at this academy 00:11:59.432 --> 00:12:01.726 I have never caned the wrong cadet. 00:12:01.767 --> 00:12:04.478 Sir, did you say "caned"? 00:12:04.520 --> 00:12:06.814 No. 00:12:06.856 --> 00:12:08.649 Sir... 00:12:08.691 --> 00:12:09.734 Consider the matter closed. 00:12:09.775 --> 00:12:11.444 But, sir, you... 00:12:15.740 --> 00:12:17.241 Take five, fellas. 00:12:17.616 --> 00:12:20.035 Now, if I apply pressure like this for ten seconds, 00:12:20.077 --> 00:12:21.579 you'll pass out. 00:12:21.620 --> 00:12:23.581 If I do it for 20 seconds, 00:12:23.622 --> 00:12:25.291 you'll die of a brain hemorrhage. 00:12:25.332 --> 00:12:26.375 Cool. 00:12:26.417 --> 00:12:28.085 Okay. 00:12:29.420 --> 00:12:31.046 Are you wearing perfume? 00:12:31.088 --> 00:12:33.048 Oh, it's my shampoo. 00:12:33.090 --> 00:12:35.593 Jasmine. Do you like it? 00:12:35.593 --> 00:12:37.178 Well, yeah. It smells good. 00:12:37.219 --> 00:12:38.763 It's supposed to get rid of my dandruff, 00:12:38.846 --> 00:12:40.765 but I'm not sure it's working. 00:12:40.765 --> 00:12:42.641 Here, what do you think? 00:12:44.977 --> 00:12:46.145 Malcolm? 00:12:48.522 --> 00:12:50.107 Ooh. 00:12:56.447 --> 00:12:59.033 Looks like you and Cynthia have some real chemistry. 00:12:59.116 --> 00:13:00.284 Would you shut up? 00:13:00.326 --> 00:13:03.162 No, see, it-it's a play on words. 00:13:03.204 --> 00:13:04.455 I said shut up. 00:13:04.497 --> 00:13:06.040 I'll e-mail it to you 00:13:06.123 --> 00:13:08.292 and some others, if you don't mind. 00:13:08.334 --> 00:13:10.711 So, have you figured out how many words 00:13:10.795 --> 00:13:11.796 your phone number makes? 00:13:11.837 --> 00:13:12.963 Mine makes five: 00:13:12.963 --> 00:13:15.508 Three in English and two in Esperanto. 00:13:15.549 --> 00:13:17.218 Just kidding. 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:18.302 You know, if it's a joke 00:13:18.344 --> 00:13:19.637 you don't have to say "just kidding." 00:13:19.678 --> 00:13:20.930 It's either funny or it isn't. 00:13:23.933 --> 00:13:25.643 You know, just because you're cute 00:13:25.684 --> 00:13:27.269 doesn't mean you can be rude. 00:13:29.980 --> 00:13:31.649 That wasn't rude. 00:13:31.690 --> 00:13:32.817 That was... 00:13:32.858 --> 00:13:34.443 What's a...? 00:13:34.485 --> 00:13:36.487 Did she say I was cute?! 00:13:36.570 --> 00:13:38.155 Hi, Malcolm. What's going on? 00:13:38.239 --> 00:13:39.323 I just wanted to talk to you 00:13:39.323 --> 00:13:40.825 about something that's bothering me. 00:13:40.825 --> 00:13:41.826 What's it about? 00:13:41.909 --> 00:13:42.827 There's this girl, and... 00:13:42.827 --> 00:13:43.828 Keep Mom out of it! 00:13:43.911 --> 00:13:44.829 What?! 00:13:44.912 --> 00:13:45.955 I am warning you, 00:13:45.996 --> 00:13:47.498 keep Mom out of your love life. 00:13:47.498 --> 00:13:49.250 Mom has nothing to do with this. 00:13:49.333 --> 00:13:50.543 Trust me-- yes, she does. 00:13:50.584 --> 00:13:51.752 She will ruin it, I swear. 00:13:51.836 --> 00:13:53.254 Whatever Mom tells you, don't do it. 00:13:53.337 --> 00:13:54.922 And don't do the opposite, either! 00:13:55.005 --> 00:13:58.008 The way it's worked for me is... 00:13:58.050 --> 00:14:00.052 Actually, it's never worked for me. 00:14:01.387 --> 00:14:03.180 I just don't know if it's a good idea. 00:14:03.180 --> 00:14:04.932 I've thought about this a long time. 00:14:05.015 --> 00:14:07.601 Okay, it's your call. 00:14:11.856 --> 00:14:13.023 When are you going to talk to Dewey? 00:14:13.065 --> 00:14:15.609 As soon as he finishes the windows. 00:14:23.325 --> 00:14:25.035 Hey! I want a rematch. 00:14:25.077 --> 00:14:26.704 Last time the sun was in my eyes, 00:14:26.745 --> 00:14:27.705 and I wasn't really... 00:14:30.749 --> 00:14:31.750 Hey, Malcolm. 00:14:31.792 --> 00:14:33.669 What are you doing after school? 00:14:33.711 --> 00:14:35.296 We're getting a dog, and I thought you 00:14:35.337 --> 00:14:36.881 might want to help us pick one out. 00:14:36.964 --> 00:14:38.883 My mom wants a golden retriever, 00:14:38.966 --> 00:14:40.718 but I'm leaning more toward 00:14:40.718 --> 00:14:42.177 a flat-coated retriever... 00:14:42.219 --> 00:14:43.554 because everyone has goldens, and... 00:14:43.637 --> 00:14:45.556 I don't want to be lab partners with you anymore. 00:14:45.639 --> 00:14:47.474 What? 00:14:47.516 --> 00:14:49.059 I mean, it wasn't my idea. 00:14:49.059 --> 00:14:51.729 The teacher thought I should partner up with someone else. 00:14:51.729 --> 00:14:53.647 Okay. 00:15:04.199 --> 00:15:06.118 Hello, son. 00:15:08.203 --> 00:15:09.622 Dad, what are you doing here? 00:15:09.705 --> 00:15:10.789 I need to talk to you. 00:15:10.873 --> 00:15:13.042 You drove eight hours just to talk to me? 00:15:13.042 --> 00:15:16.462 Well, I thought it best that I do this face- to-face, man-to-man. 00:15:16.545 --> 00:15:17.796 What is it? 00:15:17.880 --> 00:15:20.090 Francis, you wrecked Commandant Spangler's car 00:15:20.132 --> 00:15:21.216 and you weren't punished for it. 00:15:22.718 --> 00:15:26.013 Another cadet was, and that just isn't right. 00:15:29.141 --> 00:15:31.769 That's what you came all the way down here to tell me? 00:15:31.810 --> 00:15:33.729 Well, that, and your mother said 00:15:33.771 --> 00:15:36.231 you can come home from military school, 00:15:36.315 --> 00:15:38.859 and I told her I didn't think it was a good idea. 00:15:38.901 --> 00:15:39.860 What?! Francis, 00:15:39.902 --> 00:15:41.362 neither one of us did the right thing, 00:15:41.403 --> 00:15:43.238 and there has to be consequences for that. 00:15:43.322 --> 00:15:44.406 Oh, come on! 00:15:44.406 --> 00:15:45.741 Look, if I didn't do this 00:15:45.824 --> 00:15:47.326 I'd be failing you as a parent. 00:15:47.368 --> 00:15:48.744 There's got to be another way. 00:15:48.744 --> 00:15:49.828 No, no, believe me. 00:15:49.870 --> 00:15:51.413 I wrestled with this on the drive over. 00:15:51.497 --> 00:15:53.040 This is the only fair thing to do 00:15:53.082 --> 00:15:55.084 because it deals with my complicity as well. 00:15:57.336 --> 00:15:59.755 Guess there really isn't anything more to say. 00:16:02.299 --> 00:16:05.177 Well, looks like you have some kind of activity planned, 00:16:05.260 --> 00:16:06.679 so I'll get out of your hair. 00:16:06.762 --> 00:16:09.139 Hey. 00:16:13.102 --> 00:16:14.478 I love you, son. 00:16:15.771 --> 00:16:18.148 Have fun. 00:16:30.953 --> 00:16:32.621 Dewey, we have got to talk. 00:16:32.663 --> 00:16:35.290 Honey, when I talked to you about germs, 00:16:35.290 --> 00:16:36.583 I was just trying to scare you. 00:16:36.625 --> 00:16:38.252 That was wrong. 00:16:38.293 --> 00:16:39.878 This isn't about germs. 00:16:39.920 --> 00:16:41.380 Sweetie, it's about growing up. 00:16:41.422 --> 00:16:43.298 The reason I had to take Domingo 00:16:43.382 --> 00:16:44.383 away from you is because 00:16:44.425 --> 00:16:45.592 you are too grown-up 00:16:45.634 --> 00:16:46.927 for a ratty, old stuffed animal 00:16:46.969 --> 00:16:48.887 that's falling apart. (screeching) 00:16:48.929 --> 00:16:51.807 Dewey, you have got to stop this. 00:16:51.807 --> 00:16:53.308 It's a little bug. It never hurt anyone. 00:16:53.392 --> 00:16:54.476 But it has germs on it! 00:16:54.476 --> 00:16:56.270 Okay, this is enough. 00:17:05.988 --> 00:17:07.906 See? 00:17:07.990 --> 00:17:09.408 Nothing happened to me. 00:17:11.660 --> 00:17:13.037 Okay? 00:17:13.078 --> 00:17:14.246 Okay. 00:17:14.329 --> 00:17:17.541 So take off the plastic and go eat your breakfast. 00:17:24.339 --> 00:17:25.674 So, anyway... 00:17:25.674 --> 00:17:27.342 Look at her, talking to some idiot. 00:17:27.384 --> 00:17:29.219 Who is that guy? 00:17:30.345 --> 00:17:32.056 What am I saying? I don't care. 00:17:32.097 --> 00:17:33.265 Why should I care? 00:17:33.348 --> 00:17:35.476 There's nothing that special about her. 00:17:35.517 --> 00:17:38.562 Why is this bugging me so much? 00:17:39.688 --> 00:17:41.190 If I'm such a genius 00:17:41.190 --> 00:17:43.776 I should be able to come up with a smart way to deal with this. 00:17:43.817 --> 00:17:45.277 Why did you throw a brick 00:17:45.319 --> 00:17:48.363 through my daughter's window at 2:00 in the morning? 00:17:48.447 --> 00:17:49.656 I don't know. 00:17:49.698 --> 00:17:51.366 I really don't. 00:17:52.117 --> 00:17:53.327 How could you do that? 00:17:53.368 --> 00:17:54.870 It really scared me, Malcolm. 00:17:54.870 --> 00:17:56.872 I don't know, I'm sorry. The one good thing is, 00:17:56.955 --> 00:17:58.707 Mom'll kill me before this goes on for too much longer. 00:17:58.791 --> 00:18:00.375 I didn't move to the suburbs 00:18:00.459 --> 00:18:03.337 so my daughter could be attacked in the dead of night. 00:18:03.378 --> 00:18:04.463 Oh, for God's sake. 00:18:04.505 --> 00:18:06.715 He wasn't attacking her. He's got a crush on her. 00:18:06.715 --> 00:18:08.383 Beg pardon? 00:18:08.467 --> 00:18:09.384 Mom, don't. Don't worry, 00:18:09.468 --> 00:18:10.677 Malcolm's going to be punished. 00:18:10.719 --> 00:18:12.304 But this is nothing to get panicked about. 00:18:12.387 --> 00:18:13.388 But... Don't you remember 00:18:13.430 --> 00:18:15.307 when you were his age-- all the dumb things 00:18:15.390 --> 00:18:16.767 you did with your little girlfriends? 00:18:16.809 --> 00:18:18.310 Um, I'm not his... 00:18:18.393 --> 00:18:19.436 It's puberty! 00:18:19.478 --> 00:18:21.230 Their bodies are going all crazy down there 00:18:21.230 --> 00:18:22.564 and they can't do anything about it. 00:18:22.606 --> 00:18:24.274 So they start all that silly making out 00:18:24.316 --> 00:18:25.984 and then they get all tingly and charged up 00:18:26.068 --> 00:18:28.112 and they don't know what to do with themselves 00:18:28.153 --> 00:18:29.321 so they throw bricks and things. 00:18:29.404 --> 00:18:31.615 My oldest son set a doghouse on fire. 00:18:31.657 --> 00:18:33.450 They are idiots at this age. 00:18:33.492 --> 00:18:35.452 That's just what they do. 00:18:35.494 --> 00:18:37.538 Yes, well... that-that may be, 00:18:37.579 --> 00:18:41.041 but this kind of behavior is not acceptable. 00:18:41.083 --> 00:18:42.876 No, it isn't... but you'd better get used to it 00:18:42.918 --> 00:18:44.545 because I'm gonna tell you right now, 00:18:44.586 --> 00:18:46.255 this one is an early bloomer. 00:18:46.255 --> 00:18:47.756 She's gonna pop out of every bra you buy 00:18:47.756 --> 00:18:49.091 for the next three years. 00:18:49.174 --> 00:18:50.759 You're going to be self-conscious, 00:18:50.843 --> 00:18:52.427 but don't let it make you slouch. 00:18:52.511 --> 00:18:54.596 You're gonna be happy about it when you get to college. 00:18:54.596 --> 00:18:56.181 Come on... 00:18:56.223 --> 00:18:57.558 I'll give you the number of a glass company. 00:18:57.599 --> 00:18:58.934 We give him a lot of business. 00:18:59.017 --> 00:19:00.102 He'll treat you right. 00:19:10.279 --> 00:19:13.073 Well, at least she didn't strip us and take pictures. 00:19:13.115 --> 00:19:15.117 The night is young. 00:19:20.998 --> 00:19:23.375 Okay, you know what? 00:19:23.458 --> 00:19:25.460 Big deal. 00:19:25.460 --> 00:19:27.671 I do like you. 00:19:27.713 --> 00:19:29.673 I'm willing to say it. 00:19:29.715 --> 00:19:31.967 I really like you a lot. 00:19:32.009 --> 00:19:33.010 I like you a lot.