WEBVTT
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Daybreak is taped
before a live studio audience.
00:00:13.560 --> 00:00:15.645
Jaden Thompson McGee?
00:00:16.688 --> 00:00:17.731
You ate him.
00:00:20.191 --> 00:00:21.443
Jaden Unger?
00:00:21.526 --> 00:00:22.694
You ate him too.
00:00:23.403 --> 00:00:24.404
Jaden Hoyles?
00:00:26.031 --> 00:00:27.407
That's his skeleton.
00:00:32.037 --> 00:00:33.705
Um, Josh Wheeler?
00:00:35.040 --> 00:00:36.332
Wheeler?
00:00:36.416 --> 00:00:37.667
I'm here. Don't eat me.
00:00:42.547 --> 00:00:43.548
Please.
00:00:43.923 --> 00:00:45.216
I just had a niçoise salad.
00:01:06.321 --> 00:01:08.531
Today's lesson is on neurogenesis.
00:01:08.865 --> 00:01:12.160
Now, our brains are in constant growth
00:01:12.243 --> 00:01:13.244
and healing.
00:01:13.995 --> 00:01:14.996
Now!
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Okay. Guys...
00:01:25.548 --> 00:01:26.549
Come on. You guys...
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This is actually
really inspiring stuff, okay?
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Our brains have over 100 billion neurons
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and 300 miles of blood vessels.
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Right?
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- Blood.
- Uh-oh.
00:01:41.981 --> 00:01:43.399
Here we go again.
00:01:45.443 --> 00:01:46.945
Who is that? Who is laughing?
00:01:47.028 --> 00:01:49.322
Cut! Everybody take five!
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All right, everyone.
You heard her. Five minutes.
00:01:51.866 --> 00:01:54.744
- So we have some notes.
- Shut the * up, fat man.
00:01:55.870 --> 00:01:59.666
Okay. So good stuff,
but after Josh says...
00:02:00.416 --> 00:02:02.001
What's your *g line, Josh?
00:02:02.085 --> 00:02:04.295
Uh... "Uh-oh. Here we go again!"
00:02:04.671 --> 00:02:05.672
Yeah.
00:02:05.713 --> 00:02:06.840
Then you bite his face off.
00:02:07.423 --> 00:02:09.300
Okay. My life is not a sitcom.
00:02:10.093 --> 00:02:12.303
You're not a director.
You're my friend.
00:02:13.012 --> 00:02:16.599
No! I am a for real person.
00:02:16.683 --> 00:02:19.894
I think I need
some professional help here.
00:02:21.062 --> 00:02:22.105
I know what you need.
00:02:22.147 --> 00:02:23.148
Come on.
00:02:23.523 --> 00:02:25.441
Let's get you this CBD latte,
00:02:25.525 --> 00:02:27.485
pour some Russian dressing on Josh,
00:02:27.610 --> 00:02:29.821
and you can gobble his face
like a reuben sandwich.
00:02:30.947 --> 00:02:33.032
I don't eat kids!
00:02:33.533 --> 00:02:35.076
I don't eat kids.
00:02:37.036 --> 00:02:38.663
What happened at the cereal factory,
00:02:39.289 --> 00:02:40.540
that wasn't you.
00:02:41.791 --> 00:02:43.126
How does it look?
00:02:43.209 --> 00:02:45.920
Like cotton candy took a shit
on pepperoni pizza.
00:02:49.174 --> 00:02:50.884
Something is wrong with my mind.
00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:53.261
I thought I was in a sitcom,
00:02:54.137 --> 00:02:55.513
and you were the director.
00:02:56.389 --> 00:02:58.474
I'm going crazy.
00:03:01.186 --> 00:03:02.187
Crazier.
00:03:03.813 --> 00:03:04.814
Crazier-er?
00:03:05.523 --> 00:03:06.774
Crazier-er-er?
00:03:06.858 --> 00:03:08.318
It's just backne.
00:03:08.359 --> 00:03:10.570
Some Clearasil, and you'll be back
to being Ms. Crumble.
00:03:10.570 --> 00:03:12.280
My name is not Crumble.
00:03:14.073 --> 00:03:15.200
Do I remember my name?
00:03:17.076 --> 00:03:18.745
Something is happening to me.
00:03:19.329 --> 00:03:20.747
I need your help.
00:03:25.251 --> 00:03:26.336
I'll be back in five.
00:03:32.926 --> 00:03:33.927
What's going on?
00:03:36.804 --> 00:03:39.057
You look like an ad for depression meds
00:03:39.140 --> 00:03:41.559
whose side effects include
uncomfortable prolonged *.
00:03:42.810 --> 00:03:44.562
I told them we faked Sam's death.
00:03:46.814 --> 00:03:48.524
It was the honorable thing to do.
00:03:56.324 --> 00:04:00.119
Your Bushido code can
* my f*
00:04:00.203 --> 00:04:01.746
Sam's still alive.
00:04:01.829 --> 00:04:04.207
She's Turbo's prisoner at the high school.
KJ saw her too.
00:04:06.709 --> 00:04:08.294
Why are you still speaking Chinese?
00:04:09.837 --> 00:04:11.047
She speaks English.
00:04:11.089 --> 00:04:12.090
Speak English?
00:04:14.008 --> 00:04:15.093
Speak English!
00:04:15.176 --> 00:04:17.929
- Speak!
- Ladies aren't Chow Chows yo!
00:04:18.012 --> 00:04:19.055
Show some respec.
00:04:19.138 --> 00:04:21.724
I pamper my Mavis like a goddess.
00:04:21.808 --> 00:04:24.519
24k foot rubs all day, baby.
00:04:24.602 --> 00:04:26.896
Look! This isn't
about your pretend girlfriend!
00:04:26.980 --> 00:04:29.565
Sam is in the high school,
and you * manipulated me.
00:04:31.067 --> 00:04:32.568
You're supposed to be my friends!
00:04:33.069 --> 00:04:36.781
Listen,
you naive Canadian shart blossom,
00:04:36.864 --> 00:04:39.659
you think everyone's supposed to be
so nice all the time.
00:04:39.742 --> 00:04:43.288
Well, the world isn't filled
with sunflowers and puppies
00:04:43.371 --> 00:04:44.956
whose farts smell like cinnamon buns.
00:04:45.331 --> 00:04:46.499
I lied!
00:04:46.582 --> 00:04:47.750
And I'd do it again!
00:04:47.834 --> 00:04:50.712
We saved you from being monched
by Ghoulies or dying from an infection.
00:04:50.795 --> 00:04:54.716
So how about instead of giving us grief,
like a Jewish bubby at Yom Kippur,
00:04:54.799 --> 00:04:57.844
you just say “thank you,”
and we can all get back to our lives.
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He's kicking us out?
00:05:06.185 --> 00:05:07.770
I'm sorry!
00:05:09.022 --> 00:05:11.232
Don't be a savage. You're above that.
00:05:11.691 --> 00:05:13.776
We can still save Sam.
00:05:13.818 --> 00:05:17.155
Your skills, Angelica's brains, my swords.
00:05:17.238 --> 00:05:18.740
Ain't nothing we can't do together.
00:05:18.823 --> 00:05:20.366
Well, I don't need this shit.
00:05:20.450 --> 00:05:22.827
You won't be so smug
when I'm a Cheermazon!
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A * Cheermazon!
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Ugh!
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Take care of yourself, Eli.
00:05:31.919 --> 00:05:33.379
This rōnin got to get roaming.
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Hey! You can't keep me out of my own mall.
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I'm like herpes! I always come back!
You hear me!
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A big mountain lip of herpes!
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I'm coming for you, Sam.
00:06:18.591 --> 00:06:20.676
Time for breakfast, Turbo!
00:06:21.719 --> 00:06:22.845
Looks banging.
00:06:24.639 --> 00:06:26.933
Just what a growing boy needs
to stay shredded.
00:06:31.604 --> 00:06:33.147
It's from the TB12 cookbook.
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Vegan, paleo, and everything.
00:06:49.580 --> 00:06:51.082
Sign up for the Golf Team!
00:06:51.165 --> 00:06:52.291
Please!
00:06:52.375 --> 00:06:54.377
Hey, you guys are athletic. Must be nice.
00:06:54.877 --> 00:06:55.962
You know what else is nice?
00:06:56.045 --> 00:06:58.423
A good day on the green with the bros.
00:06:58.506 --> 00:06:59.882
Hey, have you seen Happy Gilmore?
00:06:59.966 --> 00:07:00.967
Great movie.
00:07:01.300 --> 00:07:02.301
It could be you.
00:07:03.469 --> 00:07:04.971
- Hi.
- Any takers?
00:07:06.055 --> 00:07:07.432
The Golf Team is cursed.
00:07:07.974 --> 00:07:09.225
There's no such thing.
00:07:09.308 --> 00:07:11.727
The dramatic decline in membership
suggests otherwise.
00:07:11.811 --> 00:07:12.895
Sounds like quitting words.
00:07:13.312 --> 00:07:14.897
I'm giving out free caramels.
00:07:14.981 --> 00:07:16.899
If you want to play, get a new game.
00:07:17.191 --> 00:07:18.943
But I have a nine handicap.
00:07:19.026 --> 00:07:20.778
I have an "I don't give a crap."
00:07:20.903 --> 00:07:22.071
One game?
00:07:22.155 --> 00:07:23.239
Shit.
00:07:23.322 --> 00:07:25.491
You're like a Swiss army knife
with only a toothpick.
00:07:28.453 --> 00:07:29.996
He thinks everything is poison.
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:31.414
He's gone paranoid.
00:07:31.497 --> 00:07:33.541
We both know Gary wasn't a traitor.
00:07:33.583 --> 00:07:34.584
Turbo set him up.
00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:36.377
Something has to be done.
00:07:37.170 --> 00:07:39.380
Maybe we can help find a solution.
00:07:40.756 --> 00:07:41.883
What happened to Gary...
00:07:43.885 --> 00:07:44.886
and Larry...
00:07:45.803 --> 00:07:46.888
and Jerry...
00:07:47.388 --> 00:07:48.556
and Terry...
00:07:49.390 --> 00:07:50.766
is not gonna happen to Barry.
00:07:52.101 --> 00:07:54.729
I'm just gonna stand here
until I get a new team together.
00:07:54.812 --> 00:07:57.565
Well, I don't play
golf, Barry, but...
00:07:59.066 --> 00:08:00.359
my real name is Mary.
00:08:13.414 --> 00:08:14.582
Josh Wheeler.
00:08:15.082 --> 00:08:17.251
Angelica Green said
she would be back in five.
00:08:17.335 --> 00:08:19.629
And it has been 147.
00:08:20.796 --> 00:08:23.799
I kicked Angelica out of the mall.
Her and Wesley and Eli.
00:08:24.509 --> 00:08:26.636
What? But you and...
00:08:27.803 --> 00:08:28.846
she and...
00:08:29.764 --> 00:08:30.765
and I...
00:08:32.183 --> 00:08:33.434
You understand what I'm saying?
00:08:33.476 --> 00:08:35.019
Do you understand what you're saying?
00:08:35.561 --> 00:08:36.896
I need her.
00:08:36.979 --> 00:08:38.439
She's a sociopath.
00:08:38.481 --> 00:08:39.607
She's a little girl.
00:08:39.690 --> 00:08:41.108
She was fine on her own before.
00:08:41.734 --> 00:08:43.236
I thought you were a good kid.
00:08:44.987 --> 00:08:46.364
You know, not very bright.
00:08:46.447 --> 00:08:47.448
Sad haircut.
00:08:48.950 --> 00:08:50.117
Worst taste in music.
00:08:51.494 --> 00:08:52.537
But still a very good kid.
00:08:52.954 --> 00:08:55.289
I felt bad that you didn't have
any friends.
00:08:55.331 --> 00:08:57.500
But you're really just a C student.
00:08:58.292 --> 00:09:00.044
Hmm? C!
00:09:00.545 --> 00:09:01.546
As in...
00:09:02.463 --> 00:09:03.965
you're a real piece of shit.
00:09:04.465 --> 00:09:05.424
That doesn't even...
00:09:05.758 --> 00:09:07.301
Look, I did what I had to do.
00:09:07.843 --> 00:09:09.178
I didn't ask to be in charge.
00:09:09.262 --> 00:09:10.263
I'm the adult.
00:09:11.138 --> 00:09:12.139
I am the teacher!
00:09:12.181 --> 00:09:13.766
And if you don't bring Angelica back,
00:09:13.849 --> 00:09:19.105
I will pour Russian dressing on your face
and eat you like a reuben!
00:09:19.814 --> 00:09:21.983
I'm... I'm kidding! I'm kidding!
00:09:22.024 --> 00:09:23.401
I don't know what a reuben is.
00:09:23.484 --> 00:09:24.944
I think it's a Jewish accountant.
00:09:25.778 --> 00:09:27.446
Look, she went with the Cheermazons.
00:09:27.530 --> 00:09:28.823
And I found this flyer.
00:09:29.365 --> 00:09:30.866
It'll tell you where they are.
00:10:09.405 --> 00:10:10.615
Angelica?
00:10:13.534 --> 00:10:14.910
Is anyone here?
00:10:16.621 --> 00:10:17.496
Hello?
00:10:17.580 --> 00:10:18.748
Cheermazons?
00:10:26.088 --> 00:10:27.089
Um...
00:10:28.090 --> 00:10:29.550
What am I doing here?
00:10:29.634 --> 00:10:30.676
I forgot my line.
00:10:35.056 --> 00:10:36.057
No, I think...
00:10:36.557 --> 00:10:37.516
Am I in a band?
00:10:38.225 --> 00:10:39.060
Yes!
00:10:39.143 --> 00:10:40.770
Yes, I know. I'm in a band.
00:10:40.853 --> 00:10:42.855
Hello, Van Nuys!
00:10:43.939 --> 00:10:47.985
We are the all-female
Latina Morrissey cover band.
00:10:48.069 --> 00:10:50.946
We are Girlfriends in a Coma.
00:10:51.572 --> 00:10:52.865
What the hell is this?
00:11:50.881 --> 00:11:51.882
You *!
00:12:00.891 --> 00:12:02.393
Principal Burr! Hi!
00:12:02.852 --> 00:12:04.186
Um, Mike! I...
00:12:04.979 --> 00:12:06.355
I didn't know you like Morrissey.
00:12:07.022 --> 00:12:08.190
Or The Smiths.
00:12:09.316 --> 00:12:12.653
Or bars, or having a good time.
00:12:12.695 --> 00:12:14.321
Do the students know about this?
00:12:16.699 --> 00:12:19.201
I mean, you make it sound like
singing in a all-female
00:12:19.285 --> 00:12:22.496
Latina Morrissey cover band
is some pervy fetish or something.
00:12:22.580 --> 00:12:26.500
You had to legally change your name
to Crumble because you cried in class.
00:12:26.542 --> 00:12:29.086
What are the kids gonna do
if they find out about this?
00:12:31.005 --> 00:12:32.339
Maybe they'll think I'm cool.
00:12:32.715 --> 00:12:34.925
You try so hard to connect
to the students.
00:12:35.468 --> 00:12:38.554
And then Jacob Alexander
puts weed in all the Bunsen burners.
00:12:39.513 --> 00:12:41.015
I am an excellent teacher.
00:12:42.349 --> 00:12:43.726
I'm a very good teacher.
00:12:45.686 --> 00:12:46.896
I'm a good teacher.
00:12:49.857 --> 00:12:51.442
I'm an adequate teacher.
00:12:54.236 --> 00:12:55.237
I'm a teacher.
00:12:56.989 --> 00:12:59.366
Kids are bullies, and mean.
00:12:59.950 --> 00:13:01.702
And they will consume you whole.
00:13:02.203 --> 00:13:03.871
Not if I eat 'em first, am I right?
00:13:03.954 --> 00:13:05.372
We'll talk about that later.
00:13:05.414 --> 00:13:06.582
Ooh!
00:13:06.707 --> 00:13:09.627
The reason the students don't respect you
is because you're torn.
00:13:09.710 --> 00:13:12.379
Singer or teacher,
you have to make a choice.
00:13:12.421 --> 00:13:14.006
I'm allowed to have a life.
00:13:14.381 --> 00:13:16.592
Hobbies make a well-rounded individual.
00:13:16.717 --> 00:13:20.137
I, for example, take a sommelier class
at Sur La Table.
00:13:23.641 --> 00:13:24.725
Morrissey is...
00:13:26.227 --> 00:13:27.520
my spirit animal.
00:13:28.187 --> 00:13:31.398
You don't understand what he means
to a girl from Pacoima
00:13:31.482 --> 00:13:33.484
who religiously listened to K-Rock.
00:13:36.237 --> 00:13:39.281
Morrissey understands
what it's like to feel worthless.
00:13:41.200 --> 00:13:44.453
And that makes me feel worth... ful.
00:13:46.247 --> 00:13:47.748
Maybe you can try découpage.
00:13:48.123 --> 00:13:49.124
You know what?
00:13:49.500 --> 00:13:50.501
* you!
00:14:10.104 --> 00:14:11.105
Hey!
00:14:11.397 --> 00:14:13.357
I need help rescuing Sam
from the high school.
00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:15.484
Would you please help me?
00:14:17.653 --> 00:14:18.487
Look!
00:14:18.571 --> 00:14:20.155
I just tried to have a guy killed.
00:14:20.823 --> 00:14:24.159
My friends are liars,
and I don't even know who I am anymore.
00:14:26.245 --> 00:14:28.747
I have to get Sam from the high school.
She needs me.
00:14:29.790 --> 00:14:30.791
I can't do it alone.
00:14:32.251 --> 00:14:33.961
Why are you avoiding me? Is it...
00:14:35.004 --> 00:14:36.171
Is it because of...
00:14:36.922 --> 00:14:37.923
***
00:14:38.132 --> 00:14:41.510
I know you don't want people to know
you speak English, but talk to me!
00:15:30.643 --> 00:15:32.144
And stay the * out!
00:15:36.815 --> 00:15:38.233
I'm totes fine out here!
00:15:40.027 --> 00:15:41.403
Sun's out, guns out!
00:16:08.722 --> 00:16:09.723
Halt!
00:16:10.849 --> 00:16:11.850
Members only.
00:16:20.818 --> 00:16:22.277
I like totes...
00:16:23.070 --> 00:16:25.280
cracked your code. Totes.
00:16:25.781 --> 00:16:27.324
It's Hohmann Country Club.
00:16:27.408 --> 00:16:28.450
Make it harder next time.
00:16:28.993 --> 00:16:30.119
I don't recognize you.
00:16:30.536 --> 00:16:31.537
My name is...
00:16:32.371 --> 00:16:34.623
Reuben San-du-val-wich.
00:16:34.707 --> 00:16:35.708
You have a boy's name.
00:16:35.749 --> 00:16:37.418
I was named after my grandfather.
00:16:38.085 --> 00:16:40.045
He was a Jewish accountant.
00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:42.256
To get inside, show me your bling.
00:16:46.218 --> 00:16:47.261
Okay.
00:17:13.120 --> 00:17:14.580
Welcome to the Cheermazons,
00:17:14.663 --> 00:17:16.165
Reuben San-du-val-wich.
00:17:16.582 --> 00:17:18.417
Hope you survive the experience.
00:17:18.959 --> 00:17:20.544
Orientation starts now.
00:17:27.009 --> 00:17:28.052
Ladies!
00:17:28.135 --> 00:17:29.720
- Goddesses!
- Angelica.
00:17:29.845 --> 00:17:32.347
Providers and sisters.
00:17:32.681 --> 00:17:35.017
You are all queens.
00:17:35.059 --> 00:17:36.060
Woo!
00:17:36.101 --> 00:17:39.396
In this garden,
no one will tell you to smile more,
00:17:39.480 --> 00:17:40.689
or talk less.
00:17:41.231 --> 00:17:43.609
Being over-dramatic or too loud?
00:17:43.692 --> 00:17:46.737
Never. You are everything.
00:17:47.237 --> 00:17:49.531
We are the Triumvirate...
00:17:53.368 --> 00:17:55.579
the three leaders of the Cheermazons.
00:17:55.662 --> 00:17:56.914
Three is a magic number,
00:17:57.414 --> 00:17:59.583
and binary is basic as shit.
00:17:59.666 --> 00:18:02.377
In geometry,
the triangle is the strongest shape.
00:18:02.461 --> 00:18:05.714
In chemistry,
the triangle represents change.
00:18:05.798 --> 00:18:07.299
In order to join our ranks,
00:18:07.382 --> 00:18:08.926
you have to pass the gauntlet.
00:18:09.468 --> 00:18:11.428
Three tests to see if you are worthy.
00:18:11.512 --> 00:18:13.097
Testing your mental acuity,
00:18:13.180 --> 00:18:16.391
physical dexterity, and spiritual harmony.
00:18:16.475 --> 00:18:18.936
It's time for you Facetune maggots
00:18:19.478 --> 00:18:21.855
to show us what you * got!
00:18:23.065 --> 00:18:24.191
Angelica.
00:18:32.074 --> 00:18:33.075
One thing...
00:18:33.367 --> 00:18:34.618
is safe to consume.
00:18:35.536 --> 00:18:37.579
Figure it out, and you get to move on.
00:18:37.996 --> 00:18:39.790
But take one wrong bite,
00:18:39.873 --> 00:18:42.876
and you'll be spraying caca fuego
for a month.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.086
Bon appétit.
00:19:28.213 --> 00:19:29.464
* amateurs!
00:19:30.632 --> 00:19:32.426
Little Leni Riefenstahl is pissed.
00:19:33.802 --> 00:19:35.012
I'm sorry. I'm just...
00:19:35.470 --> 00:19:36.638
It's no offense, but...
00:19:37.723 --> 00:19:39.766
I would never have * with you. I...
00:19:39.850 --> 00:19:42.269
- It just feels really wrong.
- It's in the script.
00:19:43.145 --> 00:19:44.605
We have the *, we eat,
00:19:45.272 --> 00:19:48.066
and then you tell me
that you choose teaching over singing.
00:19:48.734 --> 00:19:51.486
You want to be like one of those teachers
you see on TV.
00:19:52.821 --> 00:19:54.031
Yeah. Um...
00:19:54.740 --> 00:19:56.408
You want to inspire those kids.
00:19:57.409 --> 00:20:00.245
"I want to help students understand
why they feel so lost."
00:20:01.121 --> 00:20:02.164
It's just biology.
00:20:02.247 --> 00:20:04.917
The amygdala develops first
in a teenager's brain.
00:20:05.000 --> 00:20:06.335
It controls emotions
00:20:06.418 --> 00:20:09.046
"and all the bad decisions that kids make."
00:20:09.129 --> 00:20:12.216
"And kids make lots and lots
of bad decisions."
00:20:12.299 --> 00:20:14.384
You're like a hot Jaime Escalante.
00:20:17.429 --> 00:20:18.722
Wait. What is this next part?
00:20:19.681 --> 00:20:21.516
I ask you to change some grades.
00:20:21.600 --> 00:20:22.476
And I tell you no?
00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:24.394
Mm, that's not how the scene goes.
00:20:25.270 --> 00:20:26.521
Why would I say yes?
00:20:26.605 --> 00:20:29.650
I need you to raise the school GPA
to get a grant.
00:20:30.025 --> 00:20:32.778
It's just Demi Anderson,
Barry Kirkwood,
00:20:32.861 --> 00:20:33.862
Albert Yang.
00:20:35.530 --> 00:20:38.951
Well, I guess if it helps the school.
Right?
00:20:39.034 --> 00:20:40.535
And I can be very persuasive.
00:20:42.162 --> 00:20:43.455
You?
00:20:43.538 --> 00:20:46.291
Yeah. You're like a Honda Civic who wished
to become a real boy.
00:20:47.042 --> 00:20:49.836
Hondas are reliable,
safety tested,
00:20:50.337 --> 00:20:51.672
and you drove this one a lot,
00:20:51.755 --> 00:20:53.632
and by that I mean we had the *.
00:20:53.715 --> 00:20:54.800
Yeah, okay, I...
00:20:54.841 --> 00:20:56.927
Can you please stop calling it "the *!"
00:20:57.010 --> 00:20:59.554
I've changed since I had Hoyles arrested.
00:20:59.638 --> 00:21:00.931
Assertive.
00:21:01.014 --> 00:21:03.350
All females are attracted
to an apex predator.
00:21:04.893 --> 00:21:05.811
Uh...
00:21:05.894 --> 00:21:08.397
A hot Jaime Escalante
would not * her boss.
00:21:08.855 --> 00:21:10.565
Or change grades to please him.
00:21:11.608 --> 00:21:13.277
What the * is wrong with me?
00:21:15.028 --> 00:21:16.071
Well...
00:21:17.197 --> 00:21:18.824
at least the dumplings are still good.
00:21:34.423 --> 00:21:36.758
Oh, it's gonna come out both ends!
00:21:41.263 --> 00:21:42.306
It burns!
00:21:43.265 --> 00:21:44.766
Should it be that color?
00:22:07.497 --> 00:22:08.707
It's so musky!
00:22:09.791 --> 00:22:12.127
Here comes the * soup!
00:22:18.550 --> 00:22:19.968
Congratulations.
00:22:22.179 --> 00:22:24.473
All of the food was poisoned?
00:22:24.556 --> 00:22:28.018
The human body can survive
three weeks without food.
00:22:28.727 --> 00:22:30.687
But you can't survive without water.
00:22:31.521 --> 00:22:34.149
To be a Cheermazon, you have to be smart.
00:23:03.095 --> 00:23:04.346
Goodbye, Eli!
00:23:04.388 --> 00:23:06.223
Hey! Wait a minute.
00:23:07.265 --> 00:23:09.601
I see what's happening to you.
00:23:09.684 --> 00:23:11.603
You were infected
when you walked into the mall
00:23:11.686 --> 00:23:14.773
and got that first glorious hit
of Johnny Depp cologne and pizza bites.
00:23:14.856 --> 00:23:16.024
Now it's in your blood.
00:23:16.108 --> 00:23:18.026
You want the mall all to yourself.
00:23:18.110 --> 00:23:19.444
I call it “The Hunger.”
00:23:19.528 --> 00:23:20.654
Trademark Eli.
00:23:21.113 --> 00:23:23.573
- I'm not like you, Eli.
- Yeah, you're worse.
00:23:24.032 --> 00:23:25.492
I might be a *, but you're a *
00:23:25.534 --> 00:23:27.577
imitating a * thinking
that you're not a *.
00:23:27.661 --> 00:23:29.413
I don't want the mall, Eli!
00:23:29.496 --> 00:23:30.872
I just want to save Sam.
00:23:32.124 --> 00:23:33.625
Something has to be done.
00:23:33.708 --> 00:23:35.377
Turbo's acting all kinds of insane.
00:23:35.460 --> 00:23:36.461
He's not eating.
00:23:37.421 --> 00:23:39.256
Hunger can make anyone go a bit bonkers.
00:23:39.381 --> 00:23:40.924
What else you growing in your garden?
00:23:41.007 --> 00:23:42.008
What else?
00:23:42.092 --> 00:23:44.719
Do you know how hard it is
to grow a strawberry in the apocalypse?
00:23:44.803 --> 00:23:48.432
I've been toiling in that garden
for months trying to get anything edible.
00:23:48.515 --> 00:23:49.808
The first batch was glowing.
00:23:49.891 --> 00:23:52.227
The second batch had spider legs
and crawled away.
00:23:52.310 --> 00:23:54.563
And then after all that,
I got to thinking...
00:23:55.147 --> 00:23:56.189
sunflowers.
00:23:56.815 --> 00:23:59.609
Sunflowers absorb radiation.
They purify the soil.
00:23:59.985 --> 00:24:00.986
So now,
00:24:02.154 --> 00:24:03.238
we have strawberries.
00:24:03.864 --> 00:24:05.740
And berries are a superfood.
00:24:13.999 --> 00:24:15.250
It's pretty * smart.
00:24:16.293 --> 00:24:18.170
How'd you learn that sunflower bit?
00:24:18.253 --> 00:24:19.504
Ms. Crumble's biology class.
00:24:19.588 --> 00:24:22.632
Look, Turbo's problem is
more than just an empty tum-tum.
00:24:23.425 --> 00:24:24.509
He framed Gary.
00:24:24.968 --> 00:24:25.969
Had him killed.
00:24:26.595 --> 00:24:28.138
Oh! Barry I'm so sorry. I...
00:24:28.221 --> 00:24:30.056
Turbo's leading us down a dangerous path.
00:24:31.224 --> 00:24:32.350
More people are gonna die.
00:24:33.685 --> 00:24:35.854
Um, why have you come here?
What can I do?
00:24:38.273 --> 00:24:39.816
You're Sam * Dean.
00:24:41.985 --> 00:24:44.779
Move it, ladies.
The second test awaits.
00:24:45.322 --> 00:24:47.324
- I can't go back.
- You can't stay here.
00:24:47.407 --> 00:24:49.367
These are mean girls.
00:24:50.702 --> 00:24:53.330
How did you figure out
the water was safe to drink?
00:24:54.206 --> 00:24:56.833
She said all the food was toxic.
She didn't mention the water.
00:24:58.251 --> 00:24:59.836
You remembered Demi.
00:24:59.920 --> 00:25:03.048
You solved the first test. You might
actually be getting your shit together.
00:25:03.131 --> 00:25:04.424
No, no, my shit is not together.
00:25:04.508 --> 00:25:07.594
My shit is like
a Health Valley granola bar
00:25:07.677 --> 00:25:10.889
that feels solid, but when you open it up,
there's shit everywhere.
00:25:12.098 --> 00:25:15.060
My shit is also very hungry.
00:25:17.270 --> 00:25:19.356
The Cheermazons are strong and safe.
00:25:20.232 --> 00:25:21.775
If we get through the gauntlet,
00:25:21.858 --> 00:25:23.610
we can have a new home here.
00:25:24.194 --> 00:25:25.195
And then...
00:25:25.695 --> 00:25:27.197
then I can help you get better.
00:25:36.289 --> 00:25:37.624
Mall Santas like these
00:25:37.707 --> 00:25:40.669
wouldn't let me sit on their lap
and tell them what toy I wanted
00:25:40.752 --> 00:25:42.212
unless I took off my hijab.
00:25:42.295 --> 00:25:44.965
I want you to kill these racist *
00:25:45.048 --> 00:25:46.925
with your bare hands!
00:26:31.595 --> 00:26:33.638
Are you not entertained?
00:26:46.526 --> 00:26:48.528
Seize that thing.
00:27:08.757 --> 00:27:09.758
Oh, my God!
00:27:10.050 --> 00:27:11.092
Everyone calm down!
00:27:11.509 --> 00:27:12.510
Just Eli!
00:27:28.860 --> 00:27:29.861
Eli?
00:27:31.321 --> 00:27:32.864
Eli, I know you're in here!
00:27:34.699 --> 00:27:36.534
Ugh, he's going to the roof.
00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:38.370
Eli!
00:27:38.453 --> 00:27:39.454
Eli, come out!
00:27:46.127 --> 00:27:48.004
I'm sorry I pulled the fire alarm.
00:27:48.088 --> 00:27:49.714
But I wanted to get your attention, Josh.
00:27:51.174 --> 00:27:52.342
I have been watching you.
00:27:56.137 --> 00:27:57.138
You're a good guy.
00:27:58.348 --> 00:27:59.766
Now all of a sudden, not so much.
00:27:59.849 --> 00:28:02.060
And since you've pushed away
and pissed off everyone
00:28:02.143 --> 00:28:03.353
who cares about you,
00:28:04.104 --> 00:28:05.855
I thought you might want
to talk to someone.
00:28:06.981 --> 00:28:08.191
Who the hell are you?
00:28:08.525 --> 00:28:09.526
Duh!
00:28:10.151 --> 00:28:11.236
I'm Mavis.
00:28:13.863 --> 00:28:16.199
I don't understand.
You've been here the whole time?
00:28:16.282 --> 00:28:18.118
Come here. I want to show you something.
00:28:35.218 --> 00:28:36.553
She's not a Ghoulie.
00:28:36.928 --> 00:28:38.096
She's not a woman.
00:28:39.723 --> 00:28:40.765
She's Ms. Crumble.
00:28:41.808 --> 00:28:42.809
***
00:28:43.560 --> 00:28:44.728
What are you?
00:28:44.811 --> 00:28:46.312
How are you still alive?
00:28:53.486 --> 00:28:55.071
Jay-Z has one just like it.
00:28:55.989 --> 00:28:57.157
Where did you get that?
00:28:57.866 --> 00:29:00.118
Hey, you want
the matching tennis bracelet
00:29:00.201 --> 00:29:01.453
with red and white topaz?
00:29:03.413 --> 00:29:04.581
Demi Anderson's mom...
00:29:05.248 --> 00:29:06.374
owns a Zales.
00:29:07.333 --> 00:29:10.295
I changed Demi Anderson's grade
from a C-minus to a B-plus.
00:29:13.590 --> 00:29:14.799
There is no grant.
00:29:16.468 --> 00:29:19.137
You're taking bribes for changing grades,
00:29:19.220 --> 00:29:21.431
and I helped you! You...
00:29:21.890 --> 00:29:24.100
- You manipulated me!
- Oh, please!
00:29:24.142 --> 00:29:25.852
Your morality is so flexible,
00:29:25.935 --> 00:29:28.271
you took bronze at the Sochi Olympics.
00:29:28.313 --> 00:29:30.774
Stop laughing at me.
00:29:30.815 --> 00:29:33.318
Singing for a Morrissey cover band is sad.
00:29:33.401 --> 00:29:36.821
Being 32 and sending 100% emojis
is even sadder.
00:29:36.905 --> 00:29:39.157
Stop laughing.
00:29:39.908 --> 00:29:42.285
You're so desperate, you had * with me.
00:29:42.368 --> 00:29:44.245
And my * search history
00:29:44.329 --> 00:29:47.582
includes upset mothers, runaway train,
and little spoon.
00:29:47.665 --> 00:29:49.125
Ew!
00:29:49.209 --> 00:29:50.752
I thought you were a good guy.
00:29:50.835 --> 00:29:51.711
Aw!
00:29:51.795 --> 00:29:54.714
I played by the rules,
and all I got was IBS.
00:29:54.798 --> 00:29:57.509
Kids are *, you know that.
00:29:58.009 --> 00:30:00.011
So I'm taking what I deserve.
00:30:00.637 --> 00:30:03.640
Jay-Z says, "Don't go with the flow.
Be the flow."
00:30:03.723 --> 00:30:04.849
I'm the flow!
00:30:05.308 --> 00:30:06.476
I'm in charge.
00:30:07.435 --> 00:30:10.438
Isn't that what you want?
To control your own life.
00:30:12.023 --> 00:30:13.024
You and I,
00:30:16.069 --> 00:30:18.696
we can turn Glendale
into our own personal Sizzler.
00:30:22.659 --> 00:30:24.244
Let's do this together, Crumble.
00:30:27.372 --> 00:30:29.415
That's not my name.
00:30:32.877 --> 00:30:34.462
I need to speak to Angelica.
00:30:34.546 --> 00:30:35.547
Cut!
00:30:35.922 --> 00:30:37.340
What's up?
00:30:38.091 --> 00:30:39.509
I know what's going on here.
00:30:40.260 --> 00:30:43.304
I know why I'm on a sitcom.
I know why you're the director.
00:30:47.225 --> 00:30:49.435
I needed you, Angelica, to tell me why...
00:30:50.144 --> 00:30:51.145
I'm a mess.
00:30:52.355 --> 00:30:54.065
To explain why I'm changing.
00:30:54.607 --> 00:30:55.859
But you're the kid.
00:30:56.943 --> 00:30:57.944
I'm the teacher.
00:30:58.528 --> 00:31:00.697
I wanted to be like
those teachers I saw on TV.
00:31:03.116 --> 00:31:04.951
God, they always had
the right thing to say,
00:31:05.785 --> 00:31:08.121
and they meant so much to their students.
00:31:09.539 --> 00:31:11.583
I wanted to be someone's Morrissey.
00:31:12.584 --> 00:31:14.127
I wanted to matter.
00:31:17.714 --> 00:31:18.715
I didn't.
00:31:19.924 --> 00:31:21.551
Burr made me feel wanted.
00:31:23.261 --> 00:31:25.722
He made me feel necessary and important.
00:31:25.763 --> 00:31:27.390
I shouldn't have slept with Burr,
00:31:28.266 --> 00:31:29.893
or change the grades, but...
00:31:31.102 --> 00:31:32.103
I did.
00:31:33.771 --> 00:31:36.983
Even adults struggle
with an evolving amygdala,
00:31:37.442 --> 00:31:39.986
and we make bad decisions.
00:31:40.737 --> 00:31:42.906
That doesn't mean I'm not a strong woman.
00:31:42.989 --> 00:31:44.490
We are not perfect.
00:31:45.325 --> 00:31:46.618
We are trainwrecks.
00:31:47.577 --> 00:31:49.078
We are monsters.
00:31:50.246 --> 00:31:51.623
That's what makes us human.
00:31:52.874 --> 00:31:53.875
I'm...
00:31:54.667 --> 00:31:55.668
human.
00:31:56.794 --> 00:32:00.131
And I need you to know,
I know what happened to me.
00:32:22.403 --> 00:32:24.489
I don't know how we survived the bomb,
00:32:24.906 --> 00:32:27.450
but I know Burr pushed me down the stairs.
00:32:29.535 --> 00:32:31.871
I have a traumatic brain injury.
00:32:34.958 --> 00:32:36.250
I'm not crazy.
00:32:37.335 --> 00:32:38.795
You are crazy.
00:32:39.587 --> 00:32:40.922
Crazy dangerous.
00:32:42.131 --> 00:32:45.802
We handle this the Cheermazon way.
Use your voices.
00:32:45.843 --> 00:32:46.844
Vote.
00:32:47.345 --> 00:32:48.805
Up or down.
00:32:49.639 --> 00:32:50.640
Live...
00:32:51.182 --> 00:32:52.308
or die.
00:32:55.561 --> 00:32:56.688
Pledges?
00:33:03.987 --> 00:33:05.446
What's it gonna be, Angelica?
00:33:15.707 --> 00:33:17.166
Binary is basic.
00:33:18.001 --> 00:33:20.128
So the answer can't be live or die.
00:33:20.712 --> 00:33:22.672
The Cheeramzons rule in three.
00:33:23.006 --> 00:33:24.173
There's a third choice.
00:33:25.049 --> 00:33:26.843
Crumble and I are leaving.
00:33:29.262 --> 00:33:31.889
You're not going anywhere, Slimer!
00:33:32.890 --> 00:33:34.934
Cheermazons never group-think.
00:33:36.019 --> 00:33:38.521
You other mindless lemmings can go.
00:33:38.604 --> 00:33:41.107
Only Angelica passed the gauntlet.
00:33:52.577 --> 00:33:53.578
This...
00:33:54.245 --> 00:33:55.955
was the final test?
00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:57.874
Welcome to the Cheermazons.
00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:04.630
Turbo is out of control.
00:34:05.214 --> 00:34:07.425
You might be the only one
who can get him back in line.
00:34:07.925 --> 00:34:09.093
A political coup?
00:34:09.177 --> 00:34:10.219
Drama!
00:34:17.769 --> 00:34:19.729
Kids need help and guidance.
00:34:20.146 --> 00:34:21.147
You and I,
00:34:21.230 --> 00:34:22.857
we always used to do that so well.
00:34:22.940 --> 00:34:23.858
Remember that one time
00:34:23.941 --> 00:34:26.319
all those freshman got syphilis,
and I helped you figure out
00:34:26.319 --> 00:34:29.155
that it came from that Mormon kid
who got it from his Mom's best friend?
00:34:29.155 --> 00:34:30.448
We can do that again.
00:34:30.531 --> 00:34:32.200
Us, together.
00:34:32.700 --> 00:34:33.785
The kids need it.
00:34:33.868 --> 00:34:35.745
We can't keep living like this,
Principal Burr.
00:34:35.745 --> 00:34:37.121
Things have to get back to normal.
00:34:37.205 --> 00:34:38.372
We wanna make an arrangement.
00:34:38.414 --> 00:34:39.832
As a gesture of goodwill,
00:34:39.916 --> 00:34:41.084
we brought you supper.
00:34:59.435 --> 00:35:01.229
The last kid you'll eat.
00:35:01.312 --> 00:35:02.772
You're okay with this, Barry?
00:35:04.524 --> 00:35:06.150
I don't have anyone left and...
00:35:07.735 --> 00:35:09.112
berries are a superfood.
00:35:12.406 --> 00:35:14.617
I've had time to think
while I've been here,
00:35:14.659 --> 00:35:18.371
and I absolutely agree with you, Sam.
Things have to get back to normal.
00:35:20.540 --> 00:35:21.541
Mm.
00:35:22.416 --> 00:35:23.417
Starting now.
00:35:28.131 --> 00:35:31.300
Welcome to the Cheermazons,
Angelica Green.
00:35:42.395 --> 00:35:44.313
Wait. Where are you going?
00:36:59.931 --> 00:37:01.599
How did you know that song?
00:37:03.226 --> 00:37:04.644
You sing it in your sleep.
00:37:07.605 --> 00:37:09.357
Our brains are constantly healing.
00:37:11.067 --> 00:37:12.485
I even remember my name now.
00:37:14.487 --> 00:37:16.572
- What is it?
- It doesn't matter.
00:37:16.656 --> 00:37:18.074
I'm not that person anymore.
00:37:21.327 --> 00:37:23.079
I'm becoming someone else.
00:37:24.455 --> 00:37:25.998
I think it's best if I go.
00:37:26.082 --> 00:37:27.083
No.
00:37:27.583 --> 00:37:28.584
No, please don't.
00:37:29.877 --> 00:37:30.878
Please.
00:37:31.921 --> 00:37:33.172
Stay here with me.
00:37:35.758 --> 00:37:36.926
You don't need me.
00:37:39.303 --> 00:37:40.680
I need you.
00:37:46.727 --> 00:37:47.728
Well,
00:37:49.689 --> 00:37:51.440
I am an excellent teacher.
00:38:02.910 --> 00:38:04.203
You painted the bomb?
00:38:04.996 --> 00:38:06.539
No, dum-dum.
00:38:08.165 --> 00:38:09.166
It's a tree.
00:38:10.042 --> 00:38:11.669
We are a tree.
00:38:12.169 --> 00:38:15.006
Different parts, different tribes.
00:38:15.089 --> 00:38:16.966
All searching for an identity.
00:38:17.466 --> 00:38:18.467
We're all different,
00:38:19.552 --> 00:38:20.928
but also all connected.
00:38:22.388 --> 00:38:23.389
All together.
00:38:23.764 --> 00:38:26.350
I'm sorry. Is this real
or a hallucination?
00:38:27.518 --> 00:38:28.519
Yes.
00:38:29.478 --> 00:38:31.230
Well, it has to be one or the other.
00:38:37.737 --> 00:38:39.822
I had all these rules for the apocalypse.
00:38:40.364 --> 00:38:42.616
Don't get attached. Keep to yourself.
00:38:42.950 --> 00:38:44.035
But the biggest rule,
00:38:44.702 --> 00:38:45.870
don't be a *.
00:38:48.664 --> 00:38:49.665
Broke my own rule.
00:38:50.624 --> 00:38:51.917
I'm such a *!
00:38:52.752 --> 00:38:54.170
Before the bombs went off,
00:38:55.671 --> 00:38:56.922
I broke her heart.
00:39:02.261 --> 00:39:04.138
What I never told anyone is,
00:39:05.056 --> 00:39:06.432
I broke up with Sam.