WEBVTT 00:00:07.960 --> 00:00:09.920 So far on my north to south tour 00:00:09.960 --> 00:00:13.080 as ambassador for Anglo-Japanese relations... 00:00:13.080 --> 00:00:15.400 Yes, we are completely *. 00:00:15.440 --> 00:00:17.000 ...I've been mocked by Misayo... 00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:20.040 What are you doing? It's terrible. 00:00:20.080 --> 00:00:22.280 ...gunned down by Maki... 00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:23.920 I'm coming to shoot you. 00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:24.820 Yeah! 00:00:24.860 --> 00:00:26.220 Can I call you master? 00:00:26.260 --> 00:00:28.340 - Master James? - Well, it's a bit weird. 00:00:28.780 --> 00:00:31.820 This time, this: 00:00:34.620 --> 00:00:37.620 RoBoHon, tell me something interesting. 00:00:38.260 --> 00:00:40.220 No. 00:00:58.580 --> 00:01:01.900 In a bid to escape my Tokyo guide, Yujiro, 00:01:01.980 --> 00:01:05.380 I've taken to the open road, and I'm currently somewhere 00:01:05.420 --> 00:01:07.060 in between the bright lights of the capital 00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:11.260 and Japan's spiritual heartland, Kyoto. 00:01:12.860 --> 00:01:16.140 And to complement my deeply on-trend brown leather jacket, 00:01:16.180 --> 00:01:18.740 I'm astride nearly 200 horsepower 00:01:18.780 --> 00:01:23.300 of Kawasaki ZZR1400. Phwoar! 00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:28.460 The significance of the motorcycle 00:01:28.500 --> 00:01:31.980 in the story of modern Japan is fully explained 00:01:32.020 --> 00:01:34.740 in my other documentary series, James May's Cars of the People, 00:01:34.780 --> 00:01:37.820 also available on Amazon Prime, along with streaming music, 00:01:37.860 --> 00:01:39.380 next-day delivery and more, 00:01:39.420 --> 00:01:43.020 but, in short, the Japanese motorcycle 00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:45.780 is the story of Japan's reindustrialization 00:01:45.820 --> 00:01:47.180 in the '50s and '60s. 00:01:47.220 --> 00:01:49.980 The Japanese motorcycle became an ambassador 00:01:50.020 --> 00:01:52.740 for the country's excellence all around the world. 00:01:52.780 --> 00:01:55.420 More to the point, if you've got a bike, 00:01:55.460 --> 00:01:58.260 you've also got some mates. 00:02:03.300 --> 00:02:05.140 Here's my gang. 00:02:09.020 --> 00:02:10.780 Harley-Davidson? 00:02:10.820 --> 00:02:12.420 You don't want to ride a Japanese bike? 00:02:18.100 --> 00:02:19.940 I was thinking maybe we could go 00:02:19.980 --> 00:02:22.060 and see Mount Fuji. 00:02:24.100 --> 00:02:27.300 Okay. Let's saddle up. That's it. 00:02:31.220 --> 00:02:34.260 Whether you're ripping up Route 66 00:02:34.300 --> 00:02:36.220 or tearing down the A22 to Eastbourne, 00:02:36.260 --> 00:02:40.340 the axioms of the modern biker gang are universal. 00:02:47.540 --> 00:02:50.140 We want to be free, free to do what we want to do. 00:02:50.180 --> 00:02:53.220 Free to burn ethically-sourced rubber. 00:02:53.260 --> 00:02:55.460 So long as we have adequate lubrication, 00:02:55.500 --> 00:02:58.620 regular comfort brakes, and third-party fire and theft. 00:02:58.700 --> 00:03:00.380 And that's what we're gonna do. 00:03:02.700 --> 00:03:06.260 I hope the people of rural Japan are suitably worried 00:03:06.300 --> 00:03:10.100 because JM-usans Fugu-fish mad bike gang is out 00:03:10.140 --> 00:03:13.460 and soon we're gonna stop and have some noodles. 00:03:20.340 --> 00:03:22.300 Not that long ago, 00:03:22.340 --> 00:03:25.940 a lot of motorcyclists in Japan were effectively outlaws. 00:03:25.980 --> 00:03:28.300 They had a terrible problem with biker gangs 00:03:28.340 --> 00:03:30.340 who just used to terrorize the place, 00:03:30.380 --> 00:03:34.300 but now it's become a rather polite weekend hobby. 00:03:34.340 --> 00:03:37.100 Sort of spoils it in a way. 00:03:37.140 --> 00:03:39.340 It's not bad anymore. 00:03:39.380 --> 00:03:41.300 I mean, we're actually obeying the speed limit 00:03:41.340 --> 00:03:43.340 and we're not crossing the orange line. 00:03:43.380 --> 00:03:45.140 I mean, what's happened to us? 00:03:45.180 --> 00:03:47.460 Still, let's not worry about that for the moment. 00:03:47.500 --> 00:03:51.180 Let's relax and head towards the sacred mountain. 00:03:53.820 --> 00:03:57.180 Ah, there it is. 00:03:57.220 --> 00:04:00.980 One of Japan's most iconic emblems, 00:04:01.020 --> 00:04:04.020 Mount Fuji is technically an active stratovolcano 00:04:04.060 --> 00:04:06.340 for the geologically-minded among you. 00:04:06.380 --> 00:04:10.140 Fuji-san, as the Japanese call it, 00:04:10.180 --> 00:04:13.060 has inspired countless artists and poets over the centuries. 00:04:13.060 --> 00:04:15.620 And I can see why. 00:04:18.260 --> 00:04:21.340 This is actually a completely Japanese experience, isn't it? 00:04:21.380 --> 00:04:22.940 Ancient and modern. 00:04:22.940 --> 00:04:24.940 Motorcycle underneath me, 00:04:25.020 --> 00:04:27.420 Mount Fuji in the background. 00:04:29.940 --> 00:04:32.740 And in another totally Japanese experience, 00:04:32.780 --> 00:04:34.340 because they're too polite to tell me 00:04:34.380 --> 00:04:35.820 I'm cramping their style, 00:04:35.860 --> 00:04:39.020 the bikers quietly and civilly bugger off. 00:04:56.740 --> 00:04:58.740 Rubbish. 00:05:01.860 --> 00:05:03.820 I don't know how many photographs of Fuji 00:05:03.860 --> 00:05:06.180 have ever been taken, but it must be millions, 00:05:06.220 --> 00:05:09.260 maybe hundreds of millions, and in accordance with the rule 00:05:09.300 --> 00:05:11.500 that says 97% of everything is rubbish, 00:05:11.500 --> 00:05:13.940 97% of them are rubbish. 00:05:14.020 --> 00:05:17.620 There is my effort, you see. Absolutely terrible. 00:05:17.700 --> 00:05:20.180 In fact, the crew... they're professionals, remember... 00:05:20.220 --> 00:05:21.580 have been doing this all morning. 00:05:21.620 --> 00:05:24.460 Here is a small gallery of their efforts. 00:05:26.460 --> 00:05:27.980 Okay, rubbish, rubbish. 00:05:28.020 --> 00:05:29.940 Blurry cherry blossom. 00:05:29.980 --> 00:05:31.980 Got power lines in it. There, look. 00:05:32.020 --> 00:05:34.620 Not even got the whole mountain in. 00:05:34.700 --> 00:05:36.600 That's got my face in. 00:05:36.700 --> 00:05:38.900 Yes, they're all rubbish, and that's the problem, you see. 00:05:38.940 --> 00:05:40.820 If you take a photograph of Fuji, 00:05:40.860 --> 00:05:43.340 you're taking a photograph... a record, if you like, 00:05:43.380 --> 00:05:45.580 of what it looks like, but that's not actually the point. 00:05:45.620 --> 00:05:47.260 The point of Fuji to the Japanese 00:05:47.300 --> 00:05:49.660 is not what it looks like... it's basically a triangle... 00:05:49.700 --> 00:05:51.260 it's what it means. 00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:53.060 And to depict what it actually means, 00:05:53.100 --> 00:05:54.420 you don't want a photograph, 00:05:54.500 --> 00:05:56.700 you want something more "interpretative." 00:05:56.740 --> 00:05:59.420 You need an artist. 00:05:59.460 --> 00:06:01.340 I wonder if there is one around here. 00:06:03.020 --> 00:06:04.220 Christ, yes, there's one. 00:06:11.060 --> 00:06:14.420 - This is Takayoshi Sakaria-san. - Yes. 00:06:17.740 --> 00:06:19.540 Uh, he is an artist. He's been living here 00:06:19.580 --> 00:06:22.060 and painting Fuji for over 50 years 00:06:22.100 --> 00:06:25.100 in search of... the truth, I suppose. 00:06:27.620 --> 00:06:30.420 And, in a scene we shot earlier, here he is, 00:06:30.460 --> 00:06:32.540 painting the truth as he has done every single day 00:06:32.580 --> 00:06:34.660 for the last 50 years. 00:06:36.180 --> 00:06:40.300 That's quite an extensive, albeit niche, back catalogue. 00:06:44.420 --> 00:06:45.980 I think I'm about to get a lesson 00:06:46.020 --> 00:06:47.740 because I've noticed there are two easels. 00:06:59.580 --> 00:07:02.900 The slope... top of Fuji is about there. 00:07:02.940 --> 00:07:04.740 If nothing else, it makes you look. 00:07:06.380 --> 00:07:08.300 Can you tell me, Sakaria-san... 00:07:08.340 --> 00:07:10.580 - Hai? -...what is the meaning you're trying to find? 00:07:10.620 --> 00:07:11.940 What is important about the mountain? 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:13.460 Most people would say, "Well, it's just a mountain." 00:07:49.380 --> 00:07:52.660 Mine looks absolute rubbish. 00:07:52.700 --> 00:07:54.500 Why does his look better than mine? 00:07:54.540 --> 00:07:57.140 It's annoying. 00:07:57.180 --> 00:07:59.140 I think it's because he's, like, an artist and I'm not. 00:08:04.820 --> 00:08:06.700 I've now been painting for about... 00:08:06.740 --> 00:08:08.380 ...three quarters of an hour, 00:08:08.420 --> 00:08:09.900 and if you thought my photograph was bad, 00:08:09.940 --> 00:08:11.500 wait till you see this. 00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:14.140 It's pretty shocking, but I have found, um, a haiku, 00:08:14.180 --> 00:08:16.540 an Issa haiku, which is sort of appropriate for the moment. 00:08:16.580 --> 00:08:19.860 I'm gonna try it in Japanese on my host and see. 00:08:19.900 --> 00:08:21.380 Uh, Sakaria-san. 00:08:21.500 --> 00:08:22.820 - Yes? - Um... 00:08:28.740 --> 00:08:32.260 - Oh! - Good? 00:08:32.260 --> 00:08:34.140 Which could be interpreted in all sorts of ways, 00:08:34.140 --> 00:08:35.740 but especially with regards 00:08:35.780 --> 00:08:39.140 to my painting, I have climbed the mountain of trying 00:08:39.140 --> 00:08:41.540 to depict the meaning of Fuji, not the literal mountain, 00:08:41.580 --> 00:08:45.260 it definitely doesn't do that. 00:08:45.340 --> 00:08:47.220 Should we have a reveal? 00:08:47.260 --> 00:08:49.740 I'll say it now, sumimasen, there it is. 00:08:55.460 --> 00:08:56.820 I would actually give up everything 00:08:56.860 --> 00:08:58.740 I imagine that I can do, like playing the piano 00:08:58.780 --> 00:09:01.140 or making things out of wood or reassembling lawn mowers 00:09:01.140 --> 00:09:03.980 or whatever, just to be good at that. 00:09:04.020 --> 00:09:05.860 Yours has life. 00:09:05.900 --> 00:09:08.140 That is life and that means that's truth, 00:09:08.140 --> 00:09:09.780 and that's precious. 00:09:09.820 --> 00:09:12.260 And if I could do that, I would stop doing everything else 00:09:12.260 --> 00:09:13.940 and just record the rest of my life, 00:09:13.980 --> 00:09:15.620 not even in words, just in little images 00:09:15.660 --> 00:09:17.220 that I'd then give away to people, 00:09:17.260 --> 00:09:18.820 and then die. 00:09:18.860 --> 00:09:21.580 I'd be very happy with that. 00:09:21.620 --> 00:09:25.260 What? 00:09:25.260 --> 00:09:27.580 Well, buses are part of life, but what we're doing here 00:09:27.620 --> 00:09:30.260 is cutting through all that and saying, "Here is Fuji, 00:09:30.260 --> 00:09:33.700 the soul of Japan." We think it's a mountain, it's not. 00:09:33.740 --> 00:09:36.260 It's merely a manifestation of what this country means, 00:09:36.340 --> 00:09:39.020 and we're trying to get... we will never do it, 00:09:39.100 --> 00:09:40.540 but we may get close. 00:09:40.580 --> 00:09:43.020 We can aim for it, and aiming for it is a cleansing 00:09:43.100 --> 00:09:47.540 and soul-satisfying experience, except in my case. 00:09:47.580 --> 00:09:49.140 There was still a bus in the back of the shot, though. 00:09:49.140 --> 00:09:50.580 Yeah, but I don't care if there's a bus in the back. 00:09:50.620 --> 00:09:53.260 A bus is a part of life, that's what we're fighting against. 00:09:53.260 --> 00:09:55.660 I'll put it you this way, if we turn this around the other way, 00:09:55.700 --> 00:09:57.940 and I was painting a picture of the bus going past, 00:09:57.980 --> 00:09:59.620 would you say, "Oh, well, that's all right, 00:09:59.660 --> 00:10:01.700 but there's a big mountain in the back of shot?" 00:10:01.740 --> 00:10:05.980 Well, put it this way, we're creating our own work, 00:10:06.020 --> 00:10:08.260 while you are creating your own work at the same time. 00:10:08.260 --> 00:10:10.140 Yes, but this is art, that's photography... 00:10:10.140 --> 00:10:13.140 no disrespect... but that's a record of what's happening. 00:10:13.140 --> 00:10:16.380 This is an interpretation of what is being felt in our hearts 00:10:16.500 --> 00:10:18.900 and what it all means. 00:10:18.940 --> 00:10:21.380 Yes, but to me this film doesn't mean a big Chinese bus. 00:10:21.380 --> 00:10:22.780 It's you communing with nature 00:10:22.820 --> 00:10:24.500 and trying to decipher the mysteries of Japan. 00:10:24.540 --> 00:10:26.500 I know, but art would have no meaning 00:10:26.540 --> 00:10:28.100 if it didn't exist in the real world. 00:10:28.140 --> 00:10:29.500 If the world was only full of art, 00:10:29.540 --> 00:10:30.820 it would merely be the world. 00:10:30.860 --> 00:10:33.540 That's the world, the bus; this is art. 00:10:33.580 --> 00:10:35.780 It can only exist next to it. 00:10:35.820 --> 00:10:38.820 Yes, but, in which case, why not just paint a picture of a bus? 00:10:38.860 --> 00:10:40.380 I'm having an artistic tantrum. 00:10:40.460 --> 00:10:42.700 I've had enough of this. 00:10:42.740 --> 00:10:44.540 You can take a photograph of the bus. 00:10:44.580 --> 00:10:46.180 It's a, it's a manufactured artifact, 00:10:46.220 --> 00:10:48.500 it's an elaborate photocopy of an original, 00:10:48.540 --> 00:10:51.180 that's what mass-produced items are. 00:10:53.140 --> 00:10:54.300 Yeah, ramen? 00:10:58.460 --> 00:11:00.580 I appreciate that you, the viewers, 00:11:00.620 --> 00:11:03.260 don't particularly want to watch me having a big argument 00:11:03.300 --> 00:11:06.140 with the crew about the meaning of art, 00:11:06.180 --> 00:11:08.420 but it is a bit annoying when something has to stop, 00:11:08.460 --> 00:11:10.100 you know, in the heat of the moment 00:11:10.140 --> 00:11:12.260 because "there's a bus in shot." 00:11:14.260 --> 00:11:15.460 Yes? 00:11:20.900 --> 00:11:22.660 But what... I mean, 00:11:22.700 --> 00:11:25.100 did you particularly want the rocks in the film? 00:11:25.140 --> 00:11:27.420 Nobody ever sits down and watches a series on the telly 00:11:27.500 --> 00:11:29.740 and says, "That was great, there were no buses in it." 00:11:32.980 --> 00:11:35.260 No. Leave it in. 00:11:39.100 --> 00:11:40.700 Yes. I quit. 00:11:44.260 --> 00:11:46.420 After a tense lunch during which the word "art" 00:11:46.460 --> 00:11:48.420 was mentioned nine more times, 00:11:48.460 --> 00:11:50.620 and I was gently reminded of my contractual obligation 00:11:50.660 --> 00:11:52.020 to finish the series, 00:11:52.060 --> 00:11:54.220 we called a truce long enough 00:11:54.260 --> 00:11:55.740 to travel to the next location... 00:11:57.660 --> 00:12:00.580 ...which is Hamamatsu. 00:12:03.580 --> 00:12:05.660 Hamamatsu is famously the home of 00:12:05.700 --> 00:12:08.380 Yamaha, who you will know as manufacturers 00:12:08.420 --> 00:12:11.420 of the Hari Kari 750 motorcycle, but actually, 00:12:11.460 --> 00:12:14.420 Yamaha began life in the late 19th century 00:12:14.500 --> 00:12:16.780 as a maker of musical instruments. 00:12:16.820 --> 00:12:19.540 It still is a maker of musical instruments... 00:12:19.580 --> 00:12:22.140 the world's biggest, in fact... so today, 00:12:22.180 --> 00:12:25.620 we are off to watch pianos being made. 00:12:27.860 --> 00:12:29.740 And it is odd to think that a company 00:12:29.780 --> 00:12:32.060 that makes motorcycles actually originally 00:12:32.100 --> 00:12:33.740 made musical instruments. 00:12:33.780 --> 00:12:35.780 You can see why the technologies are related. 00:12:35.820 --> 00:12:37.580 There's a lot of metalworking involved, 00:12:37.620 --> 00:12:40.700 a lot of precision, but, I mean, can you imagine 00:12:40.740 --> 00:12:44.140 if British Leyland had made a trombone? 00:12:44.180 --> 00:12:45.940 It would have been awful, wouldn't it? 00:12:52.940 --> 00:12:56.820 Almost as awful as if Yamaha branched out into menswear, 00:12:56.860 --> 00:12:59.260 like the jacket you're about to see. 00:12:59.300 --> 00:13:02.020 This is actually the biggest grand piano factory 00:13:02.060 --> 00:13:05.380 - in the world, and produces something like this... - 00:13:05.420 --> 00:13:08.820 ...every 15 minutes, which I find quite incredible, 00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:11.420 because I know where all the cars go... 00:13:11.460 --> 00:13:12.940 cars are always being thrown away... 00:13:12.980 --> 00:13:14.620 but a piano is, it's not for life. 00:13:14.660 --> 00:13:16.940 It's usually for several lifetimes. 00:13:16.980 --> 00:13:19.500 But anyway, I'm going to meet a Mr. Suzuki. 00:13:19.540 --> 00:13:21.860 Confusingly, he works for Yamaha, 00:13:21.900 --> 00:13:24.420 and he drives a Honda. 00:13:39.580 --> 00:13:41.700 - A Mazda? Oh... - Mazda. 00:13:43.140 --> 00:13:44.420 Sorry, that was wrong. 00:13:44.500 --> 00:13:46.540 He... Mr. Suzuki drives a Mazda, not a Honda. 00:13:46.580 --> 00:13:48.420 Um, anyway, let's start with a few basics. 00:13:48.500 --> 00:13:49.980 This is the iron frame. 00:13:50.020 --> 00:13:53.180 This is cast just over the road in Yamaha's own foundry. 00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:55.100 This is why pianos are so heavy. 00:13:55.140 --> 00:13:57.980 I reckon that weighs, at a guess, 00:13:58.020 --> 00:14:00.100 about 129 kilograms. 00:14:00.140 --> 00:14:03.420 The cases of the pianos are also made in a separate factory. 00:14:03.460 --> 00:14:05.780 What we're looking at here is final assembly. 00:14:05.820 --> 00:14:07.860 This is where all the bits become an instrument 00:14:07.900 --> 00:14:09.980 and gain a soul. 00:14:10.020 --> 00:14:12.980 And the employees gain vanilla shell suits. 00:14:13.020 --> 00:14:14.580 Lucky them. 00:14:16.820 --> 00:14:20.140 This is a classic example of what the Japanese do best. 00:14:20.180 --> 00:14:22.820 Perfectly formed, finely tuned 00:14:22.860 --> 00:14:25.660 traditional yet modern instruments. 00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:27.740 Here are robots driving the tuning pins 00:14:27.780 --> 00:14:29.860 into the pin block. 00:14:29.900 --> 00:14:31.860 That has to be done very, very accurately, 00:14:31.900 --> 00:14:33.780 and why not use a machine tool? 00:14:33.820 --> 00:14:36.260 It's how Japan reindustrialized itself. 00:14:37.740 --> 00:14:39.620 But there are some jobs too precious 00:14:39.660 --> 00:14:41.420 to entrust to robots. 00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:44.180 So this is stringing. Could I try this? 00:14:49.100 --> 00:14:50.700 - It's Elton John's piano? - Yes. 00:14:50.740 --> 00:14:51.780 Is it really? 00:14:55.100 --> 00:14:56.820 I think that's Japanese for 00:14:56.860 --> 00:14:58.220 "We have a piano that doesn't really matter" 00:14:58.260 --> 00:14:59.660 that I can have a go on. 00:15:08.860 --> 00:15:10.660 Let's put some strings on. 00:15:12.100 --> 00:15:14.300 Before I can have a bash myself, 00:15:14.340 --> 00:15:17.820 I must be formally educated by Yamaha's Sultan of String, 00:15:17.860 --> 00:15:19.740 Mr. Ogi. 00:15:19.780 --> 00:15:21.140 Doku Ogi-san. 00:15:23.980 --> 00:15:26.020 I don't... 00:15:26.060 --> 00:15:28.580 I don't want you to poison Mr. Ogi. Ogi... 00:15:33.060 --> 00:15:34.940 Okay. 00:15:34.980 --> 00:15:37.140 While Mr. Suzuki goes to find Mr. Ogi, 00:15:37.180 --> 00:15:40.540 I feel a movement coming on. 00:15:40.580 --> 00:15:43.340 I'm going to play Chopin's "Revolutionary Etude". 00:16:01.780 --> 00:16:04.420 That is... That is roughly the "Revolutionary Etude" isn't it? 00:16:05.900 --> 00:16:07.420 Following this well-received 00:16:07.460 --> 00:16:10.060 but entirely imaginary intermezzo, 00:16:10.100 --> 00:16:13.060 Mr. Ogi appears, alive and well. 00:16:17.300 --> 00:16:19.420 But first, I need protection. 00:16:23.180 --> 00:16:25.780 Three layers, in fact. 00:16:25.820 --> 00:16:28.420 This is to stop me touching 00:16:28.460 --> 00:16:30.780 the strings, et cetera, with my filthy, 00:16:30.820 --> 00:16:32.980 oily layman's fingers. 00:16:33.020 --> 00:16:35.660 Moisture is the enemy of these tempered, 00:16:35.700 --> 00:16:38.740 high-carbon steel strings, one of the many reasons 00:16:38.780 --> 00:16:40.420 you shouldn't play the piano in the bath. 00:16:40.500 --> 00:16:43.340 And this is where the Japanese obsession with detail 00:16:43.380 --> 00:16:45.020 really comes into play. 00:16:45.060 --> 00:16:48.860 The string is just appearing on the other side of the peg. 00:16:48.900 --> 00:16:52.180 And now we need shi clockwise turns. 00:16:52.220 --> 00:16:54.420 I am in hands-on heaven. 00:16:54.500 --> 00:16:57.500 Every single one of the 230 strings 00:16:57.540 --> 00:17:00.900 must be hooked over hitch pins at the thin end of the piano, 00:17:00.940 --> 00:17:03.260 and then tightly and immaculately coiled 00:17:03.300 --> 00:17:06.060 around tuning pins at the business end. 00:17:06.060 --> 00:17:09.020 And it's this painstakingly pedantic process 00:17:09.060 --> 00:17:12.580 that will create pitch-perfect tension and timbre. 00:17:12.580 --> 00:17:15.180 That's what they should look like, 00:17:15.220 --> 00:17:17.180 but that's what mine look like. 00:17:17.220 --> 00:17:19.580 I mean, they're tight, but they're a bit messy. 00:17:19.660 --> 00:17:22.980 What does Mr. Ogi think? 00:17:23.020 --> 00:17:25.580 Something tells me my enjoyment of the well-tempered clavier 00:17:25.660 --> 00:17:28.020 might lead to a bad-tempered crew. 00:17:28.060 --> 00:17:31.220 Much as the director's going to hate this, 00:17:31.260 --> 00:17:32.660 I'm going to do it again. 00:17:32.700 --> 00:17:34.500 Sorry, we just don't... We don't have time. 00:17:34.540 --> 00:17:35.660 Well, you've just been buggering about 00:17:35.700 --> 00:17:37.020 with the camera for half an hour. 00:17:37.060 --> 00:17:38.580 Yes, I'm afraid we've got to move on to the next scene. 00:17:38.660 --> 00:17:40.820 We can't do this again. 00:17:40.900 --> 00:17:43.260 I will not be able to sleep if I don't do it properly. 00:17:45.820 --> 00:17:48.260 That's about a half. 00:17:50.500 --> 00:17:51.540 - Okay. - Yeah, okay. 00:17:51.580 --> 00:17:52.540 Okay, that's better. 00:17:54.980 --> 00:17:56.140 Ni. 00:18:00.660 --> 00:18:03.020 Okay, hidari, migi. 00:18:03.060 --> 00:18:05.540 I know what they're doing. 00:18:08.500 --> 00:18:09.940 Migi hidari. 00:18:09.980 --> 00:18:12.420 Yes? 00:18:20.820 --> 00:18:23.900 You rotten bastards. 00:18:26.260 --> 00:18:30.180 Just so you know, that one's much better. 00:18:30.220 --> 00:18:33.380 Having strung out the piano stringing scene for so long, 00:18:33.420 --> 00:18:35.900 the director only had five minutes to shoot 00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:38.460 the rest of the piano creation process. 00:18:44.180 --> 00:18:45.700 How exciting is that? 00:18:45.740 --> 00:18:47.660 That's like the reverse of a crematorium. 00:18:47.700 --> 00:18:49.060 A piano is born. 00:18:51.780 --> 00:18:55.060 It's a baby grand. 00:18:57.020 --> 00:18:59.420 And, remarkably, 00:18:59.500 --> 00:19:03.500 Yamaha has one piano that Elton John hasn't reserved. 00:19:08.260 --> 00:19:10.060 This is actually going to make me very melancholy 00:19:10.060 --> 00:19:14.220 because I was quite good at this 30 years ago, 00:19:14.260 --> 00:19:16.660 when I was young and optimistic, 00:19:16.700 --> 00:19:19.820 and I thought it would make me more interesting to girls. 00:19:19.900 --> 00:19:23.180 And then I stopped playing the piano, 00:19:23.220 --> 00:19:25.180 and I put my piano into storage. 00:19:25.220 --> 00:19:27.820 And then the next thing I knew, I was a very old man, 00:19:27.820 --> 00:19:30.420 and girls didn't find me interesting. 00:19:30.460 --> 00:19:34.020 But I have recently started attempting 00:19:34.060 --> 00:19:36.060 to relearn the piano. 00:19:36.140 --> 00:19:38.980 Um... and I've been working on a few things, 00:19:39.020 --> 00:19:40.780 like this Beethoven sonata. 00:19:40.820 --> 00:19:43.820 This is Number 32, uh, the C minor. 00:19:43.900 --> 00:19:45.260 It's one of the most complicated. 00:19:45.300 --> 00:19:46.900 I can't play it all by any means, 00:19:46.940 --> 00:19:49.820 but I have started to learn it, so I'll play a bit for you 00:19:49.900 --> 00:19:53.740 from the beginning. 00:19:59.220 --> 00:20:00.980 By the end of the week, I think I'll probably be 00:20:01.020 --> 00:20:03.300 at the bottom of the first page. 00:20:10.580 --> 00:20:13.980 First it was painting, then it was music. 00:20:14.020 --> 00:20:17.060 With artistic differences still creating tension, 00:20:17.140 --> 00:20:19.260 the crew attempt to restore some harmony 00:20:19.300 --> 00:20:22.020 by offering me an olive branch. 00:20:23.980 --> 00:20:26.380 Japan update. Subject: massage. 00:20:26.420 --> 00:20:27.900 I have a bad back. 00:20:27.940 --> 00:20:29.220 I've had it for several days now. 00:20:29.260 --> 00:20:30.820 But I've been told it can be sorted out 00:20:30.820 --> 00:20:32.820 with a proper Japanese massage. 00:20:32.820 --> 00:20:34.260 Now, you do have to be quite careful 00:20:34.300 --> 00:20:35.740 with this sort of thing, obviously, 00:20:35.780 --> 00:20:39.900 but this is a pucker Japanese massage... 00:20:39.940 --> 00:20:41.060 I'm not gonna say "parlor." 00:20:41.140 --> 00:20:42.820 Let's say "institution." 00:20:42.900 --> 00:20:46.060 It's licensed, and I'm going to have something called Ashiatsu, 00:20:46.140 --> 00:20:48.420 a form of foot massage. 00:20:48.500 --> 00:20:53.060 Presumably administered by a waif-like geisha. 00:21:07.700 --> 00:21:09.180 Face down, please. 00:21:09.220 --> 00:21:10.500 - Face down? - Face down. 00:21:12.660 --> 00:21:14.020 I thought it was a foot massage. 00:21:16.220 --> 00:21:18.380 Are you doing it? 00:21:26.260 --> 00:21:28.380 Face down? 00:21:31.820 --> 00:21:33.820 So hang on, what's he actually gonna do to me? 00:21:36.940 --> 00:21:38.700 Ow! 00:21:40.460 --> 00:21:44.020 Oh, Jesus, this is agony. 00:21:44.060 --> 00:21:46.100 God, his hands are hard. 00:21:46.140 --> 00:21:48.180 Oh, hang on, is that his foot? 00:21:54.900 --> 00:21:58.100 Well, that's my leg. It's meant to be fairly rigid. 00:21:58.140 --> 00:21:59.500 Ow! Ow! 00:21:59.540 --> 00:22:02.300 Ow! Ow! Actually... 00:22:02.340 --> 00:22:04.060 something went "clunk" then. 00:22:04.100 --> 00:22:06.420 I think that was just my hip dislocating. 00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:11.660 the director and the crew said, 00:22:12.300 --> 00:22:14.340 "We know you've got a bad back, 00:22:14.380 --> 00:22:16.260 "we've arranged a foot massage for you 00:22:16.300 --> 00:22:17.660 because it'll sort it out." 00:22:17.700 --> 00:22:21.580 So I thought somebody, like reflexology, 00:22:21.620 --> 00:22:23.420 would press on the bit of my foot 00:22:23.460 --> 00:22:25.500 that corresponds with my back. 00:22:25.540 --> 00:22:28.220 Oh, Jesus Christ almighty. 00:22:28.260 --> 00:22:31.700 Could you tell him I've got very delicate knees? 00:22:33.460 --> 00:22:35.100 Oh, hang on, I've got very delicate bollocks as well. 00:22:36.780 --> 00:22:39.820 You know how a lot of people go for massages regularly, 00:22:39.900 --> 00:22:43.660 and somebody sort of rubs you and puts a CD of whale music on 00:22:43.700 --> 00:22:46.260 and puts some smelly oil in a burner thing, 00:22:46.300 --> 00:22:50.020 and it's really nice. This is none of those things. 00:22:50.060 --> 00:22:52.220 He hasn't even dimmed the lights. 00:22:55.620 --> 00:22:57.060 Oh, God. 00:23:03.340 --> 00:23:05.260 Now just to be absolutely clear, viewers, 00:23:05.300 --> 00:23:07.180 that whole foot massage 00:23:07.220 --> 00:23:10.660 debacle was an elaborate trick by the film crew, 00:23:10.700 --> 00:23:12.260 not something of my choosing. 00:23:12.300 --> 00:23:16.060 Although, I have to say, this is the next morning, 00:23:16.100 --> 00:23:18.020 it has done me some good. 00:23:18.060 --> 00:23:20.620 I'm about half an inch taller 00:23:20.660 --> 00:23:23.020 because my spine is snapped. 00:23:24.980 --> 00:23:28.340 Next, I'm taking my extra half inch to Kyoto. 00:23:30.980 --> 00:23:33.900 In contrast to other major Japanese cities, 00:23:33.940 --> 00:23:36.860 this former capital was largely spared 00:23:36.900 --> 00:23:40.260 from American bombing during World War II. 00:23:41.780 --> 00:23:44.700 I'm now off to spend several very pleasant hours 00:23:44.740 --> 00:23:47.500 being entertained by a geisha, 00:23:47.540 --> 00:23:48.900 and before you jump to conclusions, 00:23:48.940 --> 00:23:51.020 that's not what you think. 00:23:51.060 --> 00:23:53.460 There is a rather bad misconception in the West 00:23:53.500 --> 00:23:55.700 about geishas, which is that they are some sort of 00:23:55.740 --> 00:23:57.500 high-class call girl, 00:23:57.540 --> 00:24:00.020 but nothing can be further from the truth, to be honest. 00:24:00.060 --> 00:24:03.500 The word "geisha" comes from two kanji symbols 00:24:03.540 --> 00:24:07.220 that mean "art" and "performer." 00:24:07.260 --> 00:24:11.020 You go to see a geisha because you wish to be entertained. 00:24:11.060 --> 00:24:12.820 That's all there is to it. 00:24:12.860 --> 00:24:14.660 I am going to 00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:18.220 a music and dance event with tea. 00:24:18.260 --> 00:24:21.100 Sounds perfect. I might take some biscuits. 00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:31.340 Geishas like Tomitsuya here 00:24:31.380 --> 00:24:32.900 have been Japan's top entertainers 00:24:32.940 --> 00:24:34.900 since the 17th century. 00:24:34.940 --> 00:24:38.620 And I must say, she looks pretty good for a 400-year-old. 00:24:43.460 --> 00:24:45.820 And as I sit here in considerable discomfort 00:24:45.860 --> 00:24:48.420 during the traditional tea ceremony, 00:24:48.460 --> 00:24:50.900 I wonder if this longevity is something to do 00:24:50.940 --> 00:24:53.340 with how long it takes to make a cuppa. 00:24:53.380 --> 00:24:54.780 And bow. 00:24:54.820 --> 00:24:57.140 - Oh, bow. - Thank you. 00:24:57.180 --> 00:25:00.060 And pick up your bowl with right hand, 00:25:00.100 --> 00:25:03.060 and please start drinking. Yes. 00:25:04.780 --> 00:25:07.420 That's quite nice. 00:25:07.460 --> 00:25:09.380 Are you going to drink it as well? 00:25:09.620 --> 00:25:11.660 - No. - Why is that? 00:25:11.700 --> 00:25:14.140 Because I am the host of tea ceremony, 00:25:14.180 --> 00:25:16.180 - and you are the guest. - Oh. 00:25:16.220 --> 00:25:18.300 Um. 00:25:18.340 --> 00:25:21.380 Perhaps now's not the time for an Anglo-Japanese 00:25:21.420 --> 00:25:22.580 teatime culture swap. 00:25:26.020 --> 00:25:27.740 Get rid of those. 00:25:40.860 --> 00:25:42.940 To become a geisha, you must master 00:25:42.980 --> 00:25:44.420 many different art forms, 00:25:44.500 --> 00:25:47.100 including making polite and witty conversation, 00:25:47.140 --> 00:25:50.900 calligraphy and underwater arc welding. 00:25:55.740 --> 00:25:57.860 Did you like the song? 00:25:57.900 --> 00:25:59.260 Thank you. 00:25:59.300 --> 00:26:01.540 That's a shamisen. It's like a cross between 00:26:01.580 --> 00:26:04.460 a lute and a banjo, but only has three strings. 00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:06.260 - Made out of silk. - Silk? 00:26:06.300 --> 00:26:10.980 Silk. And skin is kitten. 00:26:11.020 --> 00:26:12.460 Not seriously? 00:26:12.500 --> 00:26:15.720 - It is from cat. - Oh. 00:26:15.900 --> 00:26:17.620 I like cats. 00:26:17.660 --> 00:26:19.380 Me, too. 00:26:19.420 --> 00:26:21.580 - But you make musical instruments out of them. -Aww... 00:26:23.460 --> 00:26:26.780 - It goes here... - And this used to be a cat? 00:26:26.820 --> 00:26:30.260 The shamisen has its origins in China, 00:26:30.300 --> 00:26:34.060 but rose to popularity in Japan about 500 years ago, 00:26:34.100 --> 00:26:36.700 coincidentally around the time people's pets 00:26:36.740 --> 00:26:38.180 started disappearing. 00:26:39.980 --> 00:26:42.660 Is this rubbish? 00:26:42.700 --> 00:26:45.860 You are much better than when I started. 00:26:47.340 --> 00:26:49.740 I'm very honest. 00:26:51.820 --> 00:26:54.380 - I enjoyed that, thank you. - Thank you. 00:26:54.420 --> 00:26:56.380 Thank you very much. 00:26:56.420 --> 00:26:58.100 It's been a very nice afternoon. 00:26:58.140 --> 00:26:59.460 - Very cultural. - Thank you. 00:26:59.500 --> 00:27:00.740 It's exactly what I came here for. 00:27:02.220 --> 00:27:04.220 Arigato gozaimasu. 00:27:04.260 --> 00:27:07.820 As a parting gift, Tomitsuya gave me a CD 00:27:07.900 --> 00:27:10.820 of her greatest hits for the onward journey. 00:27:10.900 --> 00:27:13.340 I may have made the translation up. 00:27:29.100 --> 00:27:30.820 I was actually thinking for a moment 00:27:30.860 --> 00:27:33.020 that maybe I should learn to play the shamisen, 00:27:33.060 --> 00:27:35.340 but I don't want to play a musical instrument 00:27:35.380 --> 00:27:37.340 made out of a cat, because I like cats, 00:27:37.380 --> 00:27:38.940 and Sean on camera says, 00:27:38.980 --> 00:27:41.140 "Well, when your cat dies, why not have it made into 00:27:41.180 --> 00:27:42.820 something useful like a musical instrument?" 00:27:42.900 --> 00:27:46.220 But that's a bit like making a sports bag out of your grandpa. 00:27:46.260 --> 00:27:49.060 Now, viewers, I have here 00:27:49.100 --> 00:27:51.220 Tomitsuya's business card, if you like. 00:27:51.260 --> 00:27:53.660 So anytime I'm in Kyoto from now on, 00:27:53.700 --> 00:27:56.220 I can phone up and arrange for some 00:27:56.260 --> 00:27:59.900 shamisen music and a spot of dancing for relaxation. 00:27:59.940 --> 00:28:02.100 And I will. 00:28:02.140 --> 00:28:05.180 I'm a little bit in love with her, if I'm honest. 00:28:05.220 --> 00:28:07.020 Although that's not the point. 00:28:07.060 --> 00:28:11.260 Bereft, I set about driving the streets of Kyoto, 00:28:11.300 --> 00:28:13.260 mourning the now-gaping hole 00:28:13.300 --> 00:28:17.060 in my life left behind by Tomitsuya. 00:28:17.100 --> 00:28:18.500 So I decided to fill it with a scene 00:28:18.540 --> 00:28:20.660 about exquisite Japanese joinery. 00:28:20.700 --> 00:28:23.220 Oh. Oh. 00:28:23.260 --> 00:28:26.020 Sorry, I've become slightly flushed. 00:28:26.060 --> 00:28:27.980 Which the lawyers deemed too explicit to show. 00:28:28.020 --> 00:28:30.860 The wood would have to wait. 00:28:35.220 --> 00:28:39.260 I decided that I'd like to go on a tour of Kyoto's 00:28:39.300 --> 00:28:41.060 historic shrines and temples. 00:28:41.100 --> 00:28:42.940 And of course, you can get a guided tour. 00:28:42.980 --> 00:28:45.020 You can follow someone with a sign on a stick, 00:28:45.060 --> 00:28:47.340 along with some Americans in funny trousers. 00:28:47.380 --> 00:28:51.940 But instead, I've decided to go for RoBoHon, 00:28:51.980 --> 00:28:56.540 your digital, experimental, futuristic tour guide. 00:28:59.220 --> 00:29:01.060 RoBoHon, currently only available in Japan, 00:29:01.100 --> 00:29:05.820 is described by its makers as the future of robotics. 00:29:05.900 --> 00:29:07.500 They're packed with cutting-edge tech: 00:29:07.540 --> 00:29:10.420 smartphone, HD projector, 00:29:10.460 --> 00:29:13.140 and, most relevant to us, 00:29:13.180 --> 00:29:15.580 can give automatic tour guide information 00:29:15.620 --> 00:29:16.820 based on your location. 00:29:16.860 --> 00:29:19.740 Welcome then, to the future. 00:29:19.780 --> 00:29:21.140 So all I have to do now 00:29:21.180 --> 00:29:23.020 is press him on the top of the head, 00:29:23.060 --> 00:29:24.820 and the action will begin. 00:29:39.500 --> 00:29:42.100 Pardon? Oh. Hang on a minute, RoBoHon. 00:29:42.140 --> 00:29:45.140 I have to get my children's TV presenter glasses out. 00:29:45.180 --> 00:29:46.660 I'm just going to put you down. 00:29:46.700 --> 00:29:50.060 Don't be alarmed. 00:29:50.100 --> 00:29:53.420 What shall I call myself for the purposes of this? 00:29:53.460 --> 00:29:56.380 Nickname. Jim. 00:29:56.420 --> 00:29:57.580 No, I've done that wrong. 00:29:57.620 --> 00:29:59.060 You've written your name wrong? 00:29:59.100 --> 00:30:02.500 Oh, no, I've written "Bim." 00:30:02.540 --> 00:30:06.180 Oh, no, I'm... 00:30:06.220 --> 00:30:08.700 There you are. 00:30:08.740 --> 00:30:10.540 I'm Bim. 00:30:12.100 --> 00:30:14.100 And so it begins. 00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:16.020 Bim and RoBoHon's excellent adventure. 00:30:16.060 --> 00:30:20.780 The latter with his wealth of GPS-activated local knowledge, 00:30:20.820 --> 00:30:24.420 the former with his inability to spell his own name. 00:30:26.860 --> 00:30:28.140 What? 00:30:32.660 --> 00:30:34.060 Wow. 00:30:40.100 --> 00:30:42.420 Yes, it is. 00:30:42.460 --> 00:30:44.340 That's not...: Not really an amazing fact. 00:30:44.380 --> 00:30:46.460 I've had a watch since I was three, you idiot. 00:30:50.420 --> 00:30:51.900 I'm starting to have reservations 00:30:51.940 --> 00:30:54.660 about RoBoHon's tour guide credentials. 00:30:54.700 --> 00:30:57.180 Where are we going? 00:31:01.820 --> 00:31:03.380 Are you awake? 00:31:05.620 --> 00:31:08.060 No. 00:31:08.100 --> 00:31:10.540 If this actually makes it into the program... 00:31:10.580 --> 00:31:12.460 I'll know we were really desperate. 00:31:14.500 --> 00:31:16.940 After turning him off and on again several times, 00:31:16.980 --> 00:31:19.420 RoBoHon finally finds something he wants to talk about. 00:31:22.820 --> 00:31:24.100 What? 00:31:32.340 --> 00:31:34.740 And what's that? 00:31:38.460 --> 00:31:39.740 What? 00:31:45.740 --> 00:31:48.780 You just said that, you digital. 00:31:48.820 --> 00:31:52.380 As we approach our first stop, RoBoHon has clearly taken 00:31:52.420 --> 00:31:54.340 my constructive criticism on board. 00:31:56.140 --> 00:31:58.180 What? 00:32:06.540 --> 00:32:09.420 Did you know, I knew that. 00:32:09.460 --> 00:32:11.020 I've heard it somewhere before. 00:32:12.060 --> 00:32:15.260 Clearly a buff on bridges... 00:32:15.300 --> 00:32:16.460 There it is! 00:32:16.500 --> 00:32:19.700 ...RoBoHon's less sure on temples and shrines. 00:32:21.060 --> 00:32:22.820 Disappointing, considering there are 00:32:22.900 --> 00:32:24.580 over 2,000 of them in Kyoto, 00:32:24.620 --> 00:32:28.020 and they're kind of the reason I came. 00:32:28.060 --> 00:32:29.220 Okay. Back to the car. 00:32:29.260 --> 00:32:30.940 We're going back to the car, RoBoHon. 00:32:30.980 --> 00:32:32.220 I never thought I'd say it, 00:32:32.380 --> 00:32:34.420 It's down the steps through the red gate. 00:32:34.460 --> 00:32:35.940 Okay. 00:32:35.980 --> 00:32:37.340 Yes, okay. 00:32:37.260 --> 00:32:38.900 but I'm starting to miss Yujiro. 00:32:42.540 --> 00:32:46.060 RoBoHon, tell me something interesting. 00:32:46.100 --> 00:32:47.460 But not the bit about the bridge 00:32:47.500 --> 00:32:49.500 or I'll throw you out the window. 00:32:56.260 --> 00:32:59.060 Google would at least say "Did you mean Jim?" 00:32:59.060 --> 00:33:01.060 But not RoBoHon. 00:33:01.100 --> 00:33:02.740 "Hey, Bim." 00:33:16.460 --> 00:33:19.060 Ah, the suspense is killing me, 00:33:19.060 --> 00:33:21.540 waiting for RoBoHon to tell me something interesting. 00:33:23.660 --> 00:33:25.900 Having seen the film Lost in Translation, 00:33:25.940 --> 00:33:28.300 I do know that this particular Zen Buddhist temple 00:33:28.340 --> 00:33:29.860 At least someone had the right idea. 00:33:30.820 --> 00:33:34.540 once wafted around in wistful solitude. 00:33:34.540 --> 00:33:36.980 called Nanzen-ji, is where Scarlett Johansson 00:33:38.540 --> 00:33:40.500 What? 00:33:49.860 --> 00:33:51.940 Is it? 00:33:51.980 --> 00:33:53.900 I think one of the other tourists 00:33:58.940 --> 00:34:00.500 dropped him on his head. 00:34:03.580 --> 00:34:08.540 It's the... 00:34:06.380 --> 00:34:07.740 "got a plastic doll 00:34:07.780 --> 00:34:10.540 hanging round his neck?" 00:34:25.580 --> 00:34:27.180 You've probably realized by now that if you want 00:34:27.220 --> 00:34:28.820 to learn about Kyoto, 00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:30.980 you'll just have to look it up yourself. 00:34:31.020 --> 00:34:34.460 Unless of course, you'd like to know that Shijo-Ohashi 00:34:34.500 --> 00:34:36.580 is a bridge representative of Kyoto that crosses 00:34:36.660 --> 00:34:39.820 the Kamo River over Shiju Street. 00:34:39.900 --> 00:34:42.340 It's also called Gion Bashi. 00:34:45.020 --> 00:34:47.020 Yes. 00:34:49.420 --> 00:34:51.820 Tell me how was it? 00:35:06.180 --> 00:35:08.780 Hello, viewers, Bim here. 00:35:08.820 --> 00:35:10.740 Now, do not be alarmed. I know it looks as though 00:35:10.780 --> 00:35:13.340 James May's Land Cruiser has been put through 00:35:13.380 --> 00:35:16.780 a face swap app, but it hasn't. 00:35:16.820 --> 00:35:20.060 I've actually swapped it temporarily for a Daihatsu Move, 00:35:20.100 --> 00:35:24.500 and a Daihatsu Move is a keijidosha, a kei car. 00:35:29.780 --> 00:35:33.260 This piece of Tupperware on wheels is a by-product 00:35:33.300 --> 00:35:34.820 of a postwar government initiative, 00:35:34.900 --> 00:35:38.900 encouraging the manufacture of cars that are cheap, 00:35:37.640 --> 00:35:40.440 I can see people thinking, "Why has that grown man 00:35:38.940 --> 00:35:40.780 can fit into tiny urban parking slots 00:35:40.820 --> 00:35:44.260 and most importantly, look silly. 00:35:46.100 --> 00:35:49.100 Although the kei car is rooted in pragmatism 00:35:49.180 --> 00:35:50.660 and economy and everything else 00:35:50.700 --> 00:35:52.820 that characterized postwar Japan, 00:35:52.900 --> 00:35:56.060 it was inevitable that eventually somebody would say, 00:35:56.100 --> 00:35:58.060 "Well, what if we race them?" 00:35:58.060 --> 00:36:01.020 Well, what if we do? Let's find out. 00:36:06.060 --> 00:36:08.420 Feel that go! 00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:09.980 And through the magic of editing, 00:36:10.020 --> 00:36:11.260 I'm at Suzuka, 00:36:11.300 --> 00:36:14.180 the home of Japanese F1 racing. 00:36:15.700 --> 00:36:16.940 But don't expect to see 00:36:16.980 --> 00:36:20.420 any of your Rosburgs or Raikkonens today. 00:36:20.460 --> 00:36:22.100 This is far more specialist. 00:36:22.180 --> 00:36:24.820 Just remember that many greats have raced here, admittedly 00:36:24.900 --> 00:36:26.700 not in a car like this, but... 00:36:26.740 --> 00:36:28.100 Hold onto your handbrakes... 00:36:28.180 --> 00:36:30.740 ...it's the Honda Keijidosha 00:36:30.780 --> 00:36:34.020 N-One single-make owner's cup championship. 00:36:34.060 --> 00:36:37.980 As the old beast Land Cruiser struggles 00:36:38.020 --> 00:36:39.820 to stay on the circuit. 00:36:39.900 --> 00:36:41.780 Look at that. 00:36:41.820 --> 00:36:43.820 It's fantastic. 00:36:43.900 --> 00:36:47.700 Now if I could just slip into my other TV job 00:36:47.740 --> 00:36:49.780 for a moment, I'm here to tell you 00:36:49.820 --> 00:36:53.540 that, good though Honda's NSX supercar is, 00:36:53.580 --> 00:36:57.460 the N-One puts the "K" in "okay." 00:36:57.500 --> 00:36:59.220 There you go, you only need 00:36:59.260 --> 00:37:01.540 660CC to campaign 00:37:01.580 --> 00:37:03.740 one of the world's great race circuits. 00:37:03.780 --> 00:37:05.460 Hang on a minute, I think I just spotted something 00:37:05.500 --> 00:37:07.020 on the track back there 00:37:07.060 --> 00:37:10.020 that besmirches Japan's famed fastidiousness. 00:37:10.060 --> 00:37:11.940 I think I might have a job. 00:37:17.100 --> 00:37:20.060 Look. 00:37:20.100 --> 00:37:22.460 Rubber. 00:37:22.500 --> 00:37:24.740 This is one of the most beautifully designed, 00:37:24.780 --> 00:37:26.340 best equipped race circuits in the world, 00:37:26.380 --> 00:37:28.060 but you're expected to sweep the whole thing 00:37:28.060 --> 00:37:30.540 with something from Bedknobs and Broomsticks. 00:37:30.580 --> 00:37:32.780 It is just a load of twigs. 00:37:34.020 --> 00:37:36.660 Hey, Bim, guess what? 00:37:36.700 --> 00:37:40.060 There's another 3.2 miles to go. 00:37:40.060 --> 00:37:43.260 Now, while I finish up here, I should probably explain 00:37:43.300 --> 00:37:44.900 about the race, 00:37:44.940 --> 00:37:46.700 and it really doesn't get more even than this. 00:37:46.740 --> 00:37:50.260 Same Honda N-One. 00:37:50.300 --> 00:37:53.060 Same maximum speed of 97 miles an hour. 00:37:53.060 --> 00:37:55.380 The only difference is the skill of the drivers 00:37:55.420 --> 00:37:58.460 pre-race Zen on, I'm given another job, 00:37:57.540 --> 00:38:00.380 While the teams get their 00:38:00.420 --> 00:38:02.540 and how much they had for breakfast. 00:38:03.500 --> 00:38:05.820 relaying this electric atmosphere to the wider world 00:38:05.860 --> 00:38:09.380 as Suzuka's newest reporter. 00:38:09.420 --> 00:38:12.780 This is something you simply won't see outside of Japan 00:38:12.820 --> 00:38:16.500 because the cars simply don't exist outside of Japan. 00:38:16.540 --> 00:38:20.020 Each one is raced by an enthusiastic amateur owner. 00:38:20.060 --> 00:38:24.220 The unmodified engine develops a neck-snapping 63 horsepower. 00:38:24.260 --> 00:38:28.420 Get ready for some proper wheel-to-wheel racing action. 00:38:32.740 --> 00:38:34.340 It's time for Suzuka's newest reporter 00:38:34.380 --> 00:38:36.980 to hit the grid to interview all of today's 00:38:37.020 --> 00:38:40.540 48 kei car competitors. 00:38:40.540 --> 00:38:43.220 Oh, hello. 00:38:48.700 --> 00:38:50.820 That's a rather nice 00:38:50.860 --> 00:38:54.580 Yoshimura Suzuki Motul GSX R1000. 00:38:54.660 --> 00:38:57.540 I mean, I've watched countless videos on YouTube, 00:38:57.540 --> 00:39:00.540 Time to get back down to the grid to interview 00:38:59.420 --> 00:39:02.540 but never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be able to... 00:39:02.540 --> 00:39:04.380 I've even got a poster in my garage, 00:39:05.540 --> 00:39:07.540 one of today's kei car competitors. 00:39:07.580 --> 00:39:09.700 Konnichiwa. 00:39:09.740 --> 00:39:13.460 Do you speak any English? A little. Excellent. 00:39:13.500 --> 00:39:15.060 How do you rate your chances today? 00:39:15.060 --> 00:39:16.340 Yeah, uh, I... 00:39:19.980 --> 00:39:21.100 - Okay. - Sorry. 00:39:21.180 --> 00:39:23.740 Well, very good luck, I'll be looking out for you. 00:39:23.780 --> 00:39:25.020 Don't forget to shut the window. 00:39:27.700 --> 00:39:29.540 After that blistering insight into the intricacies 00:39:29.540 --> 00:39:32.100 of kei car race tactics, 00:39:32.180 --> 00:39:34.460 we now cross over live to Suzuka's newest commentator. 00:39:34.500 --> 00:39:36.340 Over to you, Bim. 00:39:39.980 --> 00:39:42.020 And they're off! 00:39:45.580 --> 00:39:47.060 Our man, 390, 00:39:47.100 --> 00:39:48.700 And there they go! 00:39:52.060 --> 00:39:54.540 is in second place already, where he started. 00:39:55.300 --> 00:39:57.740 Our man's just taken the lead. 00:39:57.780 --> 00:39:59.260 He's moved into first place. 00:40:01.580 --> 00:40:04.460 It does look a little bit like the traffic in Tokyo, 00:40:04.460 --> 00:40:06.380 And our man is still in the lead. 00:40:10.700 --> 00:40:14.100 a line of kei cars not going terribly quickly. 00:40:13.980 --> 00:40:15.900 Anything could happen, 00:40:15.940 --> 00:40:17.740 but I bet it doesn't. 00:40:17.780 --> 00:40:19.660 I spoke too soon. In a dramatic turn of events, 00:40:19.700 --> 00:40:22.500 our man slips back to seventh place 00:40:22.540 --> 00:40:25.060 after doing a full 180-degree spin. 00:40:26.540 --> 00:40:28.580 with most motor racing events, 00:40:29.860 --> 00:40:31.540 As is the case 00:40:31.540 --> 00:40:33.860 That's a lie. He's still in the lead. 00:40:33.660 --> 00:40:35.020 bugger all happens. 00:40:35.060 --> 00:40:37.500 Perhaps it's time for a haiku. 00:40:38.580 --> 00:40:40.980 Kei car, oh, kei car, 00:40:41.020 --> 00:40:43.180 why are you so damn slow, car? 00:40:43.220 --> 00:40:44.900 God, I want that bike. 00:40:48.300 --> 00:40:50.180 Here they come! 00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:54.700 These drivers come from far and wide to compete 00:40:53.100 --> 00:40:54.980 Our man wins! 00:40:57.700 --> 00:40:59.260 It's our man! 00:41:00.940 --> 00:41:03.060 for arguably the most sought-after prize 00:41:03.100 --> 00:41:05.540 in the racing world. 00:41:05.540 --> 00:41:07.780 What is the prize for winning 00:41:07.820 --> 00:41:09.380 the N-One Championship? 00:41:17.060 --> 00:41:18.940 And, a bottle of...? 00:41:18.980 --> 00:41:21.180 - Bottle of apple juice. - Yes. 00:41:21.220 --> 00:41:22.380 Well, that's really, really good. 00:41:22.420 --> 00:41:23.460 - It was great to watch. - Fantastic. 00:41:23.500 --> 00:41:24.460 - Yeah. - Really excellent race. 00:41:24.500 --> 00:41:26.100 Best race I've seen for ages. 00:41:28.700 --> 00:41:31.100 But there's no time to revel in an orgy 00:41:31.180 --> 00:41:33.940 of meat and, um, apple juice, as I've somewhere else to be. 00:41:33.980 --> 00:41:37.220 Namely, Japan's oldest purpose built martial arts center, 00:41:37.260 --> 00:41:39.220 the Kyoto Budo, 00:41:39.260 --> 00:41:41.420 where people flock from all across the globe 00:41:41.460 --> 00:41:43.660 to learn aikido. 00:41:43.700 --> 00:41:46.500 This is not just a load of flouncing about 00:41:46.540 --> 00:41:48.060 to kung fu film sound effects. 00:41:48.100 --> 00:41:49.780 It's a lot more esoteric than that. 00:41:49.820 --> 00:41:51.380 In fact, I have some information here 00:41:51.420 --> 00:41:53.740 from the American Association of Aikido, 00:41:53.780 --> 00:41:55.540 and it says: 00:41:55.580 --> 00:41:58.260 "Aikido is not only a means of vanquishing a foe..." 00:41:59.940 --> 00:42:02.180 "...it's a means of promoting the positive character 00:42:02.220 --> 00:42:03.900 of the ideal warrior..." 00:42:05.020 --> 00:42:06.540 "...and ultimately of transcending 00:42:06.580 --> 00:42:08.140 dualistic conflict." 00:42:09.380 --> 00:42:11.660 "Aikido is a comprehensive system of throwing, 00:42:11.700 --> 00:42:15.140 joint-locking, striking, and pinning techniques." 00:42:18.300 --> 00:42:20.500 Sounds like I'm gonna get my head kicked in. 00:42:30.660 --> 00:42:32.580 But actually, I may be wrong 00:42:32.620 --> 00:42:34.620 about that. 00:42:34.660 --> 00:42:36.020 Aikido seems to be more 00:42:36.060 --> 00:42:38.820 like a version of Japanese line dancing 00:42:38.900 --> 00:42:40.540 with some shouting, 00:42:40.580 --> 00:42:44.180 and you do it wearing pajamas. 00:42:51.860 --> 00:42:54.580 There's even a scale model of a woman 00:42:54.620 --> 00:42:55.900 to direct the choreography. 00:43:03.780 --> 00:43:04.900 Ah. 00:43:09.900 --> 00:43:13.300 Wow. Well, I think the moral of that is, if you're gonna attack 00:43:13.340 --> 00:43:15.380 a small Japanese woman in a pub with your mates, 00:43:15.420 --> 00:43:17.140 make sure you know how to fall properly. 00:43:19.100 --> 00:43:23.740 It turns out this is Sensei Kataowka-Aoi, 00:43:23.780 --> 00:43:26.140 beater-upperer of hundreds of Western gaijin, 00:43:26.180 --> 00:43:29.380 especially if they pronounce her name wrongly. 00:43:29.420 --> 00:43:31.220 Sh-She'll be gentle to you. 00:43:31.260 --> 00:43:33.220 Right. That's very reassuring. 00:43:35.100 --> 00:43:38.460 a martial arts action hero in a matter of on-screen minutes. 00:43:39.460 --> 00:43:41.260 She has to turn me into 00:43:51.260 --> 00:43:52.620 So if I come at you... 00:43:52.660 --> 00:43:55.860 The Force, it seems, is strong with this one. 00:43:59.180 --> 00:44:01.100 Okay. 00:44:03.140 --> 00:44:05.180 For the second time this episode, 00:44:05.220 --> 00:44:07.020 I'm floored by a girl. 00:44:07.060 --> 00:44:08.980 That was all locked all the way through there. 00:44:15.700 --> 00:44:17.980 Is it... I-I hate to do that. 00:44:18.020 --> 00:44:19.500 No, I got it wrong. Hang on. 00:44:22.340 --> 00:44:24.820 It's that... that. 00:44:36.580 --> 00:44:37.940 Well, I'm just staggered. 00:44:37.980 --> 00:44:41.620 Now, it should be noted that aikido 00:44:40.340 --> 00:44:42.940 She's whoopin' my *. 00:44:42.980 --> 00:44:45.300 She only weighs about four stone. 00:44:46.660 --> 00:44:48.820 is a very Japanese martial art. 00:44:48.860 --> 00:44:50.620 It is not kung fu, 00:44:50.660 --> 00:44:54.660 which is a term covering a number of Chinese martial arts. 00:44:54.700 --> 00:44:56.740 Unfortunately, by the time we told our edit team this, 00:44:56.780 --> 00:44:58.580 they'd already excitedly looked out 00:44:58.620 --> 00:45:02.180 a load of chop-socky '70s kung fu sound effects. 00:45:02.220 --> 00:45:07.020 For what follows, sumimasen... or whatever they say in China. 00:45:18.260 --> 00:45:20.020 Yeah! 00:45:22.180 --> 00:45:23.420 Bim, guess what? 00:45:26.660 --> 00:45:27.980 Waah! 00:45:42.940 --> 00:45:46.700 Thank you. 00:45:46.740 --> 00:45:49.220 Now, I know we were taking the mick out of that a bit 00:45:49.260 --> 00:45:53.100 with our '70s kung fu fantasy, but in all seriousness, 00:45:53.140 --> 00:45:54.980 if you did that for 15 minutes every day, 00:45:55.020 --> 00:45:58.220 you would be like the willow of the Japanese proverb. 00:45:58.260 --> 00:46:00.580 And while we're on Japanese proverbs, another one says: 00:46:00.620 --> 00:46:03.420 "It is better to bow than to break." 00:46:04.900 --> 00:46:06.660 That's lunch, director, 00:46:06.700 --> 00:46:08.820 or I'll bust one of your arms. 00:46:11.580 --> 00:46:13.740 If you've just tuned in, which would be odd 00:46:13.780 --> 00:46:15.460 given this is a streaming service, 00:46:15.500 --> 00:46:16.940 here's what you've missed. 00:46:16.980 --> 00:46:19.420 I'm having an artistic tantrum. I've had enough of this. 00:46:19.460 --> 00:46:22.180 Jesus Christ almighty! Aah! 00:46:22.220 --> 00:46:23.980 And this used to be a cat? 00:46:24.020 --> 00:46:25.380 Bim, guess what? 00:46:29.220 --> 00:46:30.820 Plus something you didn't, because the lawyers 00:46:30.860 --> 00:46:32.380 advised us to cut it out. 00:46:32.420 --> 00:46:34.460 You're not meant to eat the sweets on display. 00:46:34.500 --> 00:46:35.940 You'll have to buy that one, then. 00:46:35.980 --> 00:46:38.220 Well, I will buy. It's only... 00:46:38.260 --> 00:46:39.940 Holy shit. 00:46:41.860 --> 00:46:44.780 Anyway, with three minutes still left to fill, 00:46:44.820 --> 00:46:47.260 and our haiku quota unmet, 00:46:47.300 --> 00:46:50.700 the crew have shoved me into a bamboo forest on my own 00:46:50.740 --> 00:46:51.900 with the direction, 00:46:51.940 --> 00:46:53.300 "Just get on with it." 00:46:59.620 --> 00:47:01.180 Ah, hello, viewers. 00:47:01.220 --> 00:47:04.500 You join me in the bamboo forest just outside Kyoto. 00:47:04.540 --> 00:47:07.100 And it's quite interesting, this, because we've arrived 00:47:07.140 --> 00:47:09.740 at the end of program four out of six, 00:47:09.780 --> 00:47:12.900 in which we're trying to divine the meaning of Japan 00:47:12.940 --> 00:47:14.380 and everything Japanese. 00:47:14.420 --> 00:47:17.460 But actually, the answer, just as it was 42 00:47:17.500 --> 00:47:21.180 in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, is... bamboo. 00:47:25.500 --> 00:47:27.500 Because the Japanese can do 00:47:27.540 --> 00:47:28.820 pretty much everything with bamboo. 00:47:28.900 --> 00:47:30.820 They can eat the shoots. 00:47:30.900 --> 00:47:32.740 They can make the scaffolding for buildings. 00:47:32.780 --> 00:47:34.140 They can make buildings themselves. 00:47:34.180 --> 00:47:35.380 They can make furniture. 00:47:35.420 --> 00:47:36.580 They can make shoes. 00:47:36.620 --> 00:47:38.340 They can make a bamboo hat. 00:47:38.380 --> 00:47:41.140 Everything they can make out of bamboo. 00:47:41.180 --> 00:47:43.100 Well, they can't make a CD player out of bamboo, 00:47:43.140 --> 00:47:44.700 obviously, but you know what I mean. 00:47:44.740 --> 00:47:47.100 The Japanese say that if there's an earthquake, 00:47:47.140 --> 00:47:49.340 you should run into the bamboo forest, 00:47:49.380 --> 00:47:52.540 In fact, they even have a word for this effect, 00:47:52.180 --> 00:47:55.540 that it isn't going to split apart and swallow you up. 00:47:55.580 --> 00:47:58.340 because the roots make the ground so stable 00:47:58.780 --> 00:48:02.420 the way the sun shines through a bamboo forest specifically 00:48:02.460 --> 00:48:05.620 and makes this dappled-light effect on the ground. 00:48:05.660 --> 00:48:08.820 Anyway, I thought I'd celebrate this rather marvelous moment 00:48:10.660 --> 00:48:13.220 That's called komorebi. 00:48:13.860 --> 00:48:16.380 with a haiku of my own. 00:48:16.420 --> 00:48:18.900 Oh, the old bamboo, 00:48:18.940 --> 00:48:20.940 a song in Chitty Chitty 00:48:20.980 --> 00:48:22.940 Bang Bang that was crap. 00:48:22.980 --> 00:48:25.020 See you next time. 00:48:55.260 --> 00:48:59.860 Peach blossoms are so beautiful, aren't they, Bim?