WEBVTT 00:00:12.851 --> 00:00:15.020 Hey, guys. What you doing? 00:00:23.403 --> 00:00:24.779 Hup! 00:00:29.826 --> 00:00:32.495 I wish he could stay little forever. 00:01:00.732 --> 00:01:03.109 Reese finally found a way to beat the snot out of people 00:01:03.151 --> 00:01:05.153 and actually get a trophy for it. 00:01:05.195 --> 00:01:06.780 When's Reese up? I think he's next. 00:01:06.821 --> 00:01:07.781 Ooh! 00:01:07.822 --> 00:01:10.784 Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-hee! 00:01:10.825 --> 00:01:12.368 You're Reese's parents? 00:01:12.410 --> 00:01:14.537 Why? 00:01:14.579 --> 00:01:16.247 He's incredible. I was at the last meet. 00:01:16.289 --> 00:01:17.791 His match was the turning point. 00:01:17.832 --> 00:01:19.084 He inspired the whole team. 00:01:20.919 --> 00:01:21.878 And? 00:01:21.920 --> 00:01:23.338 Nothing. 00:01:23.379 --> 00:01:24.339 He's great. 00:01:24.380 --> 00:01:27.509 Thank... you. 00:01:27.717 --> 00:01:29.552 Go team! 00:01:29.552 --> 00:01:31.304 Thank you, Braveheart. 00:01:32.722 --> 00:01:35.350 Where's Reese? Shouldn't he be warming up? 00:01:37.227 --> 00:01:38.812 Reese! You're up next. 00:01:38.853 --> 00:01:40.063 Let's go. 00:01:40.230 --> 00:01:41.898 Go, Reese. 00:01:41.940 --> 00:01:43.274 All right, who's up? 00:01:48.238 --> 00:01:49.447 Uh-oh. 00:01:51.449 --> 00:01:53.118 Well, that's not fair. 00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:54.702 What do they expect him to do-- 00:01:54.744 --> 00:01:55.662 beat up a girl? 00:01:55.703 --> 00:01:57.622 I get to beat up a girl. 00:01:57.664 --> 00:01:58.957 Cool. 00:02:03.044 --> 00:02:04.212 Go, Reese! 00:02:10.802 --> 00:02:11.719 Two points. 00:02:14.597 --> 00:02:15.723 One point. 00:02:20.728 --> 00:02:22.397 Two points. 00:02:29.112 --> 00:02:30.071 Come on, Reese! 00:02:30.113 --> 00:02:30.947 Let's go, son! 00:02:31.030 --> 00:02:32.574 Kill her! 00:02:33.491 --> 00:02:34.826 REFEREE: Warning. 00:02:36.202 --> 00:02:37.245 Come on, ref! 00:02:37.287 --> 00:02:38.413 Stop! Warning! 00:02:38.454 --> 00:02:40.582 Kill him! 00:02:40.665 --> 00:02:41.875 Aah! 00:02:43.877 --> 00:02:45.837 Ow! Aah! 00:02:45.879 --> 00:02:48.423 Ow! Ow! 00:02:50.216 --> 00:02:51.217 Ow! 00:03:14.157 --> 00:03:16.201 Is Reese a girl now? 00:03:17.285 --> 00:03:18.203 No, Dewey. He's a lady. 00:03:18.244 --> 00:03:19.746 Shut up! 00:03:19.787 --> 00:03:20.830 Sorry, ma'am. 00:03:20.872 --> 00:03:22.040 All right, that's enough. 00:03:22.081 --> 00:03:23.750 Reese lost a wrestling match. 00:03:23.791 --> 00:03:25.668 It's no big deal-- sometimes you win, 00:03:25.710 --> 00:03:27.086 sometimes you don't. 00:03:27.086 --> 00:03:28.379 Yeah, son, you have nothing to be ashamed of. 00:03:28.421 --> 00:03:30.173 You did your best. 00:03:30.215 --> 00:03:32.842 That girl was just inarguably a better wrestler than you. 00:03:32.884 --> 00:03:35.178 Oh, my God, she had you flopping around on that mat 00:03:35.220 --> 00:03:36.596 like a rag doll. 00:03:41.267 --> 00:03:42.393 Hello. 00:03:42.435 --> 00:03:43.394 Hold him down! 00:03:43.436 --> 00:03:45.396 You, shave his *. 00:03:45.438 --> 00:03:47.815 Mom, I'm calling to remind you that today is the last day 00:03:47.899 --> 00:03:49.609 to buy me a plane ticket home for my... 00:03:49.609 --> 00:03:51.194 (whispering): birthday. 00:03:51.236 --> 00:03:52.779 Honey, we talked about this. 00:03:52.820 --> 00:03:54.280 We can't fly you back here in the middle of the week. 00:03:54.322 --> 00:03:55.698 You'd only be here for eight hours. 00:03:55.740 --> 00:03:56.699 But, Mom... Sweetie, I'm sorry. 00:03:56.741 --> 00:03:58.117 I wish things were different, 00:03:58.117 --> 00:03:59.285 but you were just home for Thanksgiving, 00:03:59.327 --> 00:04:01.120 and that's all we can afford right now. 00:04:01.162 --> 00:04:03.539 Mom, you don't know what they do to people around here on their 00:04:03.581 --> 00:04:04.707 (whispering): birthday. 00:04:04.749 --> 00:04:06.209 They strip you *, 00:04:06.251 --> 00:04:07.877 and they shave every hair off your body 00:04:07.961 --> 00:04:09.712 and they throw you in the reflecting pond. 00:04:09.754 --> 00:04:11.130 Is that what you want for me? 00:04:11.172 --> 00:04:12.757 I'm impressed, Francis. 00:04:12.799 --> 00:04:14.676 Your stories are getting better; at least more believable. 00:04:14.717 --> 00:04:16.177 What stories? 00:04:16.219 --> 00:04:17.971 Oh, when you wanted to come home for that party 00:04:18.012 --> 00:04:19.722 and you swore the academy was being terrorized 00:04:19.764 --> 00:04:20.723 by a pack of feral dogs? 00:04:20.765 --> 00:04:22.976 Which were never caught. 00:04:22.976 --> 00:04:24.811 Francis, I want you home for your birthday, too, 00:04:24.852 --> 00:04:26.896 but we just can't afford it. 00:04:26.938 --> 00:04:29.232 Fine. I guess I'll just fend for myself 00:04:29.274 --> 00:04:31.651 and hope these monsters don't find out it's my... 00:04:31.734 --> 00:04:32.568 (whispering): you know. 00:04:32.568 --> 00:04:34.946 He's still got an eyebrow! 00:04:35.029 --> 00:04:36.447 Get him! 00:04:40.451 --> 00:04:41.619 Hey, Malcolm. 00:04:41.661 --> 00:04:43.746 I heard about your brother last night. 00:04:43.788 --> 00:04:44.914 It was hilarious. 00:04:44.956 --> 00:04:45.957 You didn't see it? 00:04:45.999 --> 00:04:48.751 A sporting... event? 00:04:48.793 --> 00:04:50.295 Right. I wonder what it's like 00:04:50.378 --> 00:04:51.921 to get beat up by a girl. 00:04:51.963 --> 00:04:53.756 It's totally humiliating. 00:04:53.798 --> 00:04:55.091 You just want to die. 00:04:55.133 --> 00:04:57.010 Your brother didn't soil himself, did he? 00:04:57.051 --> 00:04:59.053 No. 00:04:59.095 --> 00:05:00.471 Neither did I. 00:05:00.513 --> 00:05:01.639 You know... 00:05:01.681 --> 00:05:03.558 Reese's embarrassing defeat could have 00:05:03.599 --> 00:05:04.892 serious consequences for us all. 00:05:04.934 --> 00:05:06.728 He'll be working extra hard 00:05:06.769 --> 00:05:08.646 to prove he's still on top of the food chain. 00:05:08.688 --> 00:05:10.815 You're saying we could actually have a meaner, 00:05:10.857 --> 00:05:12.650 more vicious Reese on our hands? 00:05:12.692 --> 00:05:13.651 It's very possible. 00:05:13.693 --> 00:05:14.944 We can't avoid the beatings, 00:05:14.986 --> 00:05:17.030 but I suggest that, as a wedgie deterrent, 00:05:17.071 --> 00:05:19.157 we go without underwear for the next several days. 00:05:19.198 --> 00:05:20.700 Uh-oh. 00:05:20.742 --> 00:05:22.076 Here he comes now. 00:05:32.628 --> 00:05:35.506 This is the first time I've ever been happy to be me. 00:05:41.846 --> 00:05:43.723 You want something to look at? 00:05:46.726 --> 00:05:48.728 I'll give you something to look at. 00:06:03.743 --> 00:06:06.079 The old chocolate milk diversion. 00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:07.914 Wish I had thought of that. 00:06:11.125 --> 00:06:13.711 Okay, what the hell was that milk thing on the playground? 00:06:13.753 --> 00:06:15.380 I don't know. I had to do something. 00:06:15.380 --> 00:06:17.382 So you poured milk on yourself? 00:06:17.382 --> 00:06:19.634 Why didn't you just pound that kid? 00:06:19.675 --> 00:06:20.802 Because I'm sick of doing that. 00:06:20.843 --> 00:06:22.720 I'm sick of beating up little kids. 00:06:22.762 --> 00:06:24.305 It's creepy. 00:06:24.389 --> 00:06:26.099 But that's you-- that's what you do. 00:06:26.140 --> 00:06:27.100 Not anymore. 00:06:27.141 --> 00:06:28.559 That was the old me. 00:06:28.601 --> 00:06:29.727 The thing I did at school today 00:06:29.769 --> 00:06:31.771 was me destroying the old Reese. 00:06:31.813 --> 00:06:33.940 So, drenching yourself with chocolate milk 00:06:33.981 --> 00:06:35.733 was like a baptism? 00:06:35.775 --> 00:06:37.276 No, idiot. 00:06:37.318 --> 00:06:39.362 I was washing away the old me and starting over. 00:06:39.404 --> 00:06:41.114 You know, you've been acting really weird 00:06:41.197 --> 00:06:43.574 ever since you got your * kicked by that girl. 00:06:43.574 --> 00:06:44.909 It's not just about the girl. 00:06:44.951 --> 00:06:47.245 Wrestling made me feel good, you know? 00:06:47.245 --> 00:06:48.871 I was helping the school. 00:06:48.913 --> 00:06:50.706 People looked up to me. 00:06:50.748 --> 00:06:52.750 And that's gone now, and I've got nothing. 00:06:52.792 --> 00:06:54.877 But it's not going to be like that anymore. 00:06:54.919 --> 00:06:57.880 I'm going to find a way to make people proud of me again. 00:06:57.922 --> 00:06:59.507 So what are you going to do? 00:06:59.549 --> 00:07:00.675 I don't know. 00:07:00.716 --> 00:07:02.760 I just want to be the good guy, 00:07:02.760 --> 00:07:04.303 do good stuff... 00:07:04.387 --> 00:07:06.514 for good. 00:07:06.556 --> 00:07:08.099 Dewey, what can I do for you? 00:07:08.141 --> 00:07:09.600 Mom! Shut up! 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:11.477 I'm trying to help you. (grunting) 00:07:14.522 --> 00:07:15.690 Hi, sweetie. 00:07:15.690 --> 00:07:16.649 Is it Francis? 00:07:16.691 --> 00:07:18.568 Yeah. 00:07:18.609 --> 00:07:19.944 He keeps calling. 00:07:19.986 --> 00:07:21.571 His stupid stories are touching, in a way. 00:07:21.612 --> 00:07:23.489 You know, he just wants to come home. 00:07:23.531 --> 00:07:25.950 It's the first time he's been away on his birthday. 00:07:25.992 --> 00:07:28.035 Well, maybe we can at least do something that night 00:07:28.077 --> 00:07:29.579 to take our minds off it. 00:07:29.620 --> 00:07:33.583 A guy at work won these concert tickets on the radio. 00:07:33.624 --> 00:07:35.001 Jimmy Buffett? 00:07:35.042 --> 00:07:37.170 He didn't want them. Can you imagine? 00:07:39.255 --> 00:07:41.215 Hello. 00:07:41.257 --> 00:07:43.926 Mom, great news. I figured out a way to get home Wednesday. 00:07:43.926 --> 00:07:44.927 Francis... 00:07:44.969 --> 00:07:46.596 No, it won't cost you a cent. 00:07:46.637 --> 00:07:48.347 One of the cadet's fathers is a trucker. 00:07:48.389 --> 00:07:50.433 He said I can ride in the refrigerator compartment 00:07:50.433 --> 00:07:52.894 to the 609 interchange. And a buddy of his 00:07:52.935 --> 00:07:54.562 flies a crop duster. Now, if he's sober, 00:07:54.604 --> 00:07:56.731 he should be able to drop me off at the soybean field 00:07:56.772 --> 00:07:57.732 near the train station... 00:07:57.773 --> 00:07:58.983 Honey, Francis, come on. 00:07:59.066 --> 00:08:00.610 There'll be other birthdays. 00:08:00.610 --> 00:08:03.279 Ask him if he wants a T-shirt from the concert. 00:08:03.362 --> 00:08:04.280 What concert? 00:08:04.363 --> 00:08:05.740 Uh, your father 00:08:05.781 --> 00:08:06.991 got us tickets to see Jimmy Buffett. 00:08:07.074 --> 00:08:08.618 And this concert wouldn't happen 00:08:08.659 --> 00:08:10.161 to be on Wednesday night, would it? 00:08:10.244 --> 00:08:11.746 My birthday? 00:08:11.787 --> 00:08:13.623 Uh, yes, it is, but that has nothing to do... 00:08:13.664 --> 00:08:15.041 Oh, now I get it. 00:08:15.082 --> 00:08:16.501 You can't afford to bring me home, but somehow 00:08:16.542 --> 00:08:18.002 you find money for Jimmy Buffett tickets. 00:08:18.044 --> 00:08:20.546 Francis, that's not the way it is at all. 00:08:20.588 --> 00:08:22.215 They were free tickets. Sure they were. 00:08:22.298 --> 00:08:23.925 A friend of your father's gave them to us. 00:08:23.966 --> 00:08:25.009 He's not really a friend. 00:08:25.051 --> 00:08:26.677 You know, you guys should really 00:08:26.719 --> 00:08:29.805 get your stories straight before you try to ditch me on my... 00:08:29.847 --> 00:08:31.182 (whispering): birthday. 00:08:36.896 --> 00:08:38.439 Hey, Malcolm. 00:08:38.481 --> 00:08:40.858 Want my cake? You're not hungry? 00:08:40.900 --> 00:08:43.861 No. I ate my lunch and my decoy lunch. 00:08:43.903 --> 00:08:46.405 Now that Reese isn't stealing it anymore, I get both. 00:08:46.447 --> 00:08:48.950 And Reese hasn't made me eat grass for a week. 00:08:48.991 --> 00:08:50.785 Everything tastes better. 00:08:50.826 --> 00:08:53.663 Life... is good. 00:08:53.704 --> 00:08:58.000 I've been taking ballet, and I don't care who knows it. 00:08:58.042 --> 00:08:59.460 Good for you. 00:09:01.003 --> 00:09:03.673 Two days ago, Reese would've creamed that kid. 00:09:03.673 --> 00:09:05.049 Things are really changing. 00:09:05.132 --> 00:09:07.802 It's like we've entered an age of enlightenment. 00:09:07.843 --> 00:09:09.470 It's kind of nice. 00:09:09.512 --> 00:09:11.055 Hey! 00:09:11.138 --> 00:09:12.682 Hey. 00:09:12.682 --> 00:09:14.684 What was that for? 00:09:14.684 --> 00:09:15.810 That's for having a smart mouth 00:09:15.851 --> 00:09:17.228 and making fun of me all the time. 00:09:17.311 --> 00:09:19.522 Since Reese is out of the picture, 00:09:19.564 --> 00:09:21.107 I don't have to take it anymore. 00:09:21.148 --> 00:09:22.567 What are you talking about? 00:09:22.608 --> 00:09:24.068 Now that your brother's a wuss, 00:09:24.110 --> 00:09:26.696 I don't have to worry about him coming after me 00:09:26.737 --> 00:09:27.989 when I teach you a lesson. 00:09:28.030 --> 00:09:29.115 But we're friends. 00:09:29.156 --> 00:09:31.075 Making cracks about me painting my face 00:09:31.117 --> 00:09:32.159 and being stupid? 00:09:32.201 --> 00:09:33.786 You say those things to friends? 00:09:33.828 --> 00:09:35.705 Those things were funny. 00:09:35.746 --> 00:09:36.706 Oh, yeah. Real funny. 00:09:36.747 --> 00:09:38.124 I'll show you what's funny. 00:09:38.165 --> 00:09:39.917 Knock, knock. Who's there? 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:42.712 Pushy Pusherson. 00:09:44.755 --> 00:09:45.673 What's wrong with him? 00:09:47.758 --> 00:09:50.136 Remember me? Moby Rick? 00:09:50.177 --> 00:09:51.971 That was so hilarious. 00:09:52.013 --> 00:09:53.556 I never called you Moby Rick. 00:09:53.556 --> 00:09:54.890 I called you Rick-Oppotamus. 00:09:54.890 --> 00:09:55.641 Although... 00:09:57.059 --> 00:09:58.311 Hey! Hey! 00:09:58.352 --> 00:09:59.395 Just wait for a second. 00:10:01.731 --> 00:10:04.150 So you guys really don't think I'm funny? 00:10:09.405 --> 00:10:11.574 Well, you learn something new every day. 00:10:14.076 --> 00:10:16.454 Evidently, I'm not as charming as I thought. 00:10:17.705 --> 00:10:19.665 You know, you really make us feel bad 00:10:19.707 --> 00:10:21.459 with your hurtful comments. Yeah. 00:10:21.500 --> 00:10:23.502 You know I'm insecure about my taste in clothes, 00:10:23.544 --> 00:10:25.755 yet you continue to make cutting remarks about my outfits. 00:10:25.796 --> 00:10:27.214 Yeah! 00:10:27.256 --> 00:10:29.216 You walk around acting all smart and funny, 00:10:29.258 --> 00:10:32.386 but did you know I cry myself to sleep every night? 00:10:32.428 --> 00:10:35.681 Ye... You do? 00:10:35.723 --> 00:10:38.476 So the only reason those jerks have been putting up with me 00:10:38.517 --> 00:10:39.894 is because they're afraid of my brother? 00:10:41.687 --> 00:10:44.357 Actually, we're a bit tired of your act, too. 00:10:44.440 --> 00:10:46.651 Those guys are nuts. I'm funny. 00:10:47.902 --> 00:10:49.445 Aren't I funny? 00:10:49.445 --> 00:10:52.490 To be honest, you can be a little caustic. 00:10:52.531 --> 00:10:56.243 The word... is arrogant. 00:10:56.285 --> 00:10:59.121 How about bitter, sarcastic and handsome? 00:11:00.748 --> 00:11:02.541 Hey, she's cute. 00:11:07.755 --> 00:11:08.923 Hey, Jeffrey. 00:11:08.964 --> 00:11:11.133 Do you need help crossing the street? 00:11:12.760 --> 00:11:14.804 Don't worry, I'm nice now. 00:11:14.804 --> 00:11:16.639 Come on. 00:11:17.807 --> 00:11:20.393 (shrieking): Jeffrey! 00:11:20.434 --> 00:11:21.894 How many times have I told you 00:11:21.936 --> 00:11:23.396 to stay out of that street? 00:11:23.437 --> 00:11:25.731 Oh! You are in so much trouble, 00:11:25.773 --> 00:11:27.149 young man! (Jeffrey sobbing) 00:11:28.651 --> 00:11:29.902 Hello? 00:11:29.944 --> 00:11:30.986 Yeah. 00:11:30.986 --> 00:11:32.530 I'm here to read to you. 00:11:32.571 --> 00:11:34.323 Okay. 00:11:34.365 --> 00:11:35.825 I was so glad 00:11:35.866 --> 00:11:37.535 when I heard you were coming. 00:11:37.576 --> 00:11:38.994 Really? Great. 00:11:39.036 --> 00:11:40.579 I just want to help. 00:11:41.706 --> 00:11:42.832 They said the terminal patients 00:11:42.873 --> 00:11:46.252 really get a lift from this kind of stuff. 00:11:46.293 --> 00:11:48.838 I'm sorry, did... did you say "terminal"? 00:11:55.886 --> 00:11:58.347 I'm in the wrong room. 00:11:58.389 --> 00:12:01.934 And come to think of it, I'm in the wrong hospital. 00:12:02.935 --> 00:12:04.854 Nurse! 00:12:04.895 --> 00:12:06.772 Nurse! 00:12:06.814 --> 00:12:08.774 CADET: Help! Help! Let me go! 00:12:08.816 --> 00:12:10.693 CADET ERIC: Happy birthday, Murphy. 00:12:10.693 --> 00:12:12.570 We've been looking for you for hours. 00:12:12.611 --> 00:12:13.779 MURPHY: Oh, please! Hey! 00:12:13.821 --> 00:12:15.406 Hey, my grandmother sent me a comforter! 00:12:15.448 --> 00:12:16.949 Take my comforter! 00:12:16.991 --> 00:12:18.826 You won't believe how soft it is! Ow! 00:12:30.421 --> 00:12:33.007 MURPHY: Oh, for God's sake, be careful. 00:12:33.048 --> 00:12:34.383 CADET ERIC: Oops. 00:12:34.425 --> 00:12:36.677 MURPHY: Oh, my God! 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:44.560 I wish I could say this was 00:12:44.560 --> 00:12:46.312 the stupidest thing I've ever done. 00:12:46.353 --> 00:12:47.980 You know, on top of everything, they're going to make me 00:12:48.022 --> 00:12:49.273 fix the window when I get back. 00:12:49.315 --> 00:12:50.900 Don't be so hard on yourself. 00:12:50.941 --> 00:12:52.943 You have every right to be upset. 00:12:52.985 --> 00:12:54.403 I can't believe your parents 00:12:54.445 --> 00:12:56.322 are leaving you all alone on your birthday. 00:12:56.363 --> 00:12:57.865 You poor thing. 00:12:59.408 --> 00:13:00.993 Well, it isn't that bad. 00:13:01.035 --> 00:13:02.077 Yes, it is. 00:13:02.119 --> 00:13:03.996 Yeah, I guess you're right. 00:13:04.038 --> 00:13:07.416 You know, this is going to be my first birthday without a cake. 00:13:07.458 --> 00:13:09.001 You know what? 00:13:09.043 --> 00:13:10.753 You're not going to spend your birthday alone. 00:13:10.753 --> 00:13:12.087 You're coming to my place, 00:13:12.129 --> 00:13:13.881 and I'm going to make you a nice dinner. 00:13:13.923 --> 00:13:15.633 No. 00:13:15.674 --> 00:13:17.218 Why should you have to bother with me 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:20.513 just 'cause I'm injured and... all alone? 00:13:20.554 --> 00:13:22.264 I'll even make you a cake. What kind do you... 00:13:22.264 --> 00:13:23.599 German chocolate. 00:13:25.601 --> 00:13:26.560 What's wrong? 00:13:26.602 --> 00:13:28.854 Ugh, I don't know, Hal. 00:13:28.896 --> 00:13:31.232 I guess this whole Francis thing is still bothering me. 00:13:31.273 --> 00:13:33.692 Yeah, me, too. 00:13:33.734 --> 00:13:35.277 Hey, you know what? 00:13:35.319 --> 00:13:37.613 Why don't we do something extra nice for him? 00:13:37.696 --> 00:13:40.866 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened to you? 00:13:40.908 --> 00:13:43.244 What happened to me? I'll tell you what happened to me. 00:13:43.285 --> 00:13:45.079 Since Reese got whipped by that girl, 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:46.789 he stopped being the school bully, 00:13:46.831 --> 00:13:49.250 so now there's no one to protect me from people 00:13:49.291 --> 00:13:51.418 who think I'm an unfunny little smart *, 00:13:51.460 --> 00:13:52.962 which is evidently everyone. 00:13:53.003 --> 00:13:54.964 Well, you can be a little sarcastic. 00:13:55.005 --> 00:13:56.882 Thanks, Dad. I feel better. 00:13:56.924 --> 00:13:58.384 Case in point. 00:13:59.927 --> 00:14:01.971 Well, he can be. 00:14:03.222 --> 00:14:04.974 I'll go talk to him. 00:14:09.019 --> 00:14:10.688 Rough day, huh? 00:14:10.729 --> 00:14:12.565 Yeah. 00:14:12.648 --> 00:14:15.025 You know, when people are mad at you, 00:14:15.067 --> 00:14:18.195 a simple apology can take you a long way. 00:14:18.237 --> 00:14:20.114 Let me give you a hypothetical. 00:14:20.155 --> 00:14:21.991 Let's just say, hypothetically, 00:14:21.991 --> 00:14:24.118 I told a coworker that it looked like my boss 00:14:24.159 --> 00:14:25.327 was highlighting his hair. 00:14:25.327 --> 00:14:26.912 And let's say, hypothetically, 00:14:26.954 --> 00:14:29.164 that the coworker then went to my boss 00:14:29.164 --> 00:14:30.708 and told him what I said 00:14:30.749 --> 00:14:32.710 and that, hypothetically speaking, 00:14:32.751 --> 00:14:35.296 my boss then moved me to the tiny office 00:14:35.337 --> 00:14:38.132 at the end of the hall, next to the copier. 00:14:38.173 --> 00:14:41.135 And if I had just apologized, Malcolm, 00:14:41.176 --> 00:14:44.305 you boys would all have your own bedrooms right now. 00:14:44.346 --> 00:14:46.807 So you're saying you wish you had apologized? 00:14:46.849 --> 00:14:48.809 Not to that pretty boy. 00:14:48.851 --> 00:14:50.394 Look, this hypothetical 00:14:50.477 --> 00:14:52.146 has nothing to do with your situation. 00:14:52.187 --> 00:14:53.981 Just think about it. 00:14:57.067 --> 00:14:58.694 Okay, I'll be over at 8:00. 00:14:58.736 --> 00:15:00.905 Yeah, feels much better. 00:15:00.946 --> 00:15:02.323 All right. Bye. 00:15:04.074 --> 00:15:05.284 Heard you got a hot date. 00:15:05.326 --> 00:15:07.912 Nah, just a nurse... with her own place. 00:15:07.953 --> 00:15:09.079 No biggie. 00:15:09.121 --> 00:15:11.040 You're a lucky man, Francis. 00:15:11.081 --> 00:15:12.750 You got a way with the ladies, 00:15:12.791 --> 00:15:14.960 you got parents who love you... 00:15:15.002 --> 00:15:16.337 What are you talking about? 00:15:20.090 --> 00:15:22.760 Hey, whose birthday is it? 00:15:22.801 --> 00:15:24.136 According to the card, it's yours. 00:15:24.178 --> 00:15:25.971 Wow. 00:15:26.013 --> 00:15:29.058 My family finally sent me a present, eight months late. 00:15:29.058 --> 00:15:30.976 Which is... 00:15:31.018 --> 00:15:32.853 (chuckles) ironic 00:15:32.895 --> 00:15:35.189 'cause my mom works at the post office. 00:15:35.230 --> 00:15:36.690 Started back in '87. 00:15:36.732 --> 00:15:38.108 Used to be a letter sorter. 00:15:39.234 --> 00:15:41.236 Okay, how about right here? 00:15:47.534 --> 00:15:48.577 Hey. 00:15:48.619 --> 00:15:50.621 What do you want? 00:15:50.704 --> 00:15:51.997 I just wanted to talk. 00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:53.207 What? 00:15:53.248 --> 00:15:54.583 I just want to say I'm sorry. 00:15:54.625 --> 00:15:55.709 About what? 00:15:55.751 --> 00:15:57.211 Remember the day it was raining 00:15:57.252 --> 00:15:58.712 and you said, "Hey, it's raining," 00:15:58.754 --> 00:16:00.089 and I said, "Thanks, Einstein"? 00:16:00.130 --> 00:16:01.757 Yeah. Why'd you say that? 00:16:01.799 --> 00:16:03.133 My name's not Einstein. 00:16:03.175 --> 00:16:05.094 I was referring to Albert Einstein. 00:16:05.135 --> 00:16:07.763 He was this physicist who was a genius. 00:16:07.763 --> 00:16:10.099 You think I'm a genius? 00:16:10.140 --> 00:16:12.810 Oh, man, I've got, like, five good comebacks to that. 00:16:12.851 --> 00:16:15.187 But that was the old me. 00:16:15.229 --> 00:16:17.106 No, I was being sarcastic. 00:16:17.147 --> 00:16:19.400 I was kind of saying that you're the opposite of a genius. 00:16:19.441 --> 00:16:22.111 So... you were calling me stupid. 00:16:22.152 --> 00:16:23.779 Yeah, and that's why I... 00:16:27.992 --> 00:16:29.368 Hey, Malcolm, come here. 00:16:31.787 --> 00:16:32.913 I finally figured it out. 00:16:32.955 --> 00:16:34.123 I found the answer. 00:16:34.164 --> 00:16:36.000 I know what I want to do with my life. 00:16:36.083 --> 00:16:37.626 Are you still selling those video games? 00:16:37.668 --> 00:16:39.003 Yeah. Five bucks. 00:16:41.296 --> 00:16:42.756 What are you doing? 00:16:42.798 --> 00:16:44.758 Selling my material possessions. 00:16:44.800 --> 00:16:46.760 Why?! 'Cause Brother Billy told me to. 00:16:46.802 --> 00:16:48.429 Brother Billy?! 00:16:48.470 --> 00:16:50.764 You mean that nut who rides around in the school bus 00:16:50.806 --> 00:16:51.807 handing out pamphlets? 00:16:51.807 --> 00:16:53.767 It's called a manifesto. 00:16:53.809 --> 00:16:56.020 And he is not a nut once you stop and listen to him. 00:16:56.103 --> 00:16:58.647 He and his followers have this awesome compound in Oregon 00:16:58.689 --> 00:17:00.315 where we're going to live off the land. 00:17:00.357 --> 00:17:02.317 You're going off with this guy?! 00:17:02.359 --> 00:17:03.652 Don't worry, it is totally safe. 00:17:03.694 --> 00:17:05.654 They have guard dogs, watchtowers... 00:17:05.696 --> 00:17:07.489 Do Mom and Dad know about this? 00:17:07.531 --> 00:17:09.241 No, and you can't tell them. 00:17:09.324 --> 00:17:11.535 Brother Billy says they have negative energy and bad karma. 00:17:11.577 --> 00:17:13.704 You're talking about joining a cult. 00:17:13.746 --> 00:17:15.748 Are you nuts? 00:17:15.789 --> 00:17:17.666 Brother Billy doesn't talk to me like that. 00:17:17.708 --> 00:17:19.376 He makes me feel good about myself. 00:17:19.418 --> 00:17:21.545 It's called brainwashing, Reese. 00:17:21.587 --> 00:17:23.088 My name isn't Reese anymore. 00:17:23.130 --> 00:17:24.840 Then what is it? 00:17:26.383 --> 00:17:27.885 I don't remember, but it isn't Reese. 00:17:27.926 --> 00:17:29.178 Now, if you'll excuse me, 00:17:29.219 --> 00:17:31.805 I have manifestos to distribute. 00:17:31.847 --> 00:17:33.849 Reese, you've got to help us. 00:17:33.849 --> 00:17:35.476 What? 00:17:35.517 --> 00:17:37.603 Your absence as a bully has created a power vacuum. 00:17:37.644 --> 00:17:40.189 Now the school is filled with rogue thugs 00:17:40.230 --> 00:17:42.691 carving out random spheres of influence. 00:17:42.733 --> 00:17:45.360 I've been hit up for my lunch money twice today. 00:17:45.444 --> 00:17:46.987 I've been hit up three times, 00:17:47.029 --> 00:17:48.864 and when I didn't have anything, 00:17:48.906 --> 00:17:50.282 they took my shirt! 00:17:50.616 --> 00:17:52.242 But what am I supposed to do about it? 00:17:52.242 --> 00:17:53.368 We need you back. 00:17:53.410 --> 00:17:55.370 What do you mean? I was a jerk. 00:17:55.412 --> 00:17:57.873 Yes, but you were the alpha jerk. 00:17:57.915 --> 00:17:59.124 Reese, without you, 00:17:59.166 --> 00:18:00.250 it's anarchy! 00:18:00.292 --> 00:18:01.543 Look around you. 00:18:08.592 --> 00:18:10.803 Give me those. 00:18:19.937 --> 00:18:21.480 Don't you see? 00:18:21.522 --> 00:18:23.065 The whole school needs you back 00:18:23.107 --> 00:18:25.484 administering your unique form 00:18:25.526 --> 00:18:27.361 of evenhanded brutality. 00:18:27.402 --> 00:18:30.489 You're saying my being a bully's a good thing? 00:18:30.531 --> 00:18:32.825 Yes! You're our only hope. 00:18:32.908 --> 00:18:34.409 STEVIE: Stop it! 00:18:34.451 --> 00:18:35.619 Stop it! 00:18:35.619 --> 00:18:37.454 I'm... 00:18:37.496 --> 00:18:39.665 immune. 00:18:39.748 --> 00:18:42.417 I'm... immune! 00:18:42.459 --> 00:18:44.670 Hey! Stevie's off limits! 00:18:44.753 --> 00:18:46.338 He used to be. 00:18:51.468 --> 00:18:54.429 Get out of my way. 00:18:54.471 --> 00:18:57.141 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... 00:19:16.076 --> 00:19:19.204 Thanks... Reese? 00:19:19.246 --> 00:19:21.373 Starting tomorrow, you're back doing my book reports. 00:19:21.415 --> 00:19:23.083 Sure. 00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:32.342 (chanting): Reese! Reese! Reese! Reese! 00:19:41.685 --> 00:19:43.353 Let go of me! 00:19:43.353 --> 00:19:45.439 Oh, okay, I'm going, I'm going. 00:19:48.025 --> 00:19:51.278 Order... is restored. 00:19:51.320 --> 00:19:52.321 You have the tickets? 00:19:52.362 --> 00:19:53.697 Mm-hmm. 00:19:53.697 --> 00:19:55.324 Do you think Francis liked his cookie basket? 00:19:55.365 --> 00:19:56.909 Oh, I bet he was thrilled. 00:19:56.950 --> 00:19:58.285 It was a thoughtful idea, hon. 00:19:58.327 --> 00:20:00.287 I just hope his friends gave him a party. 00:20:00.329 --> 00:20:01.371 I'm sure they did. 00:20:01.371 --> 00:20:03.498 They seem like nice boys. 00:20:07.336 --> 00:20:11.006 So, how's that reflection pond, Francis? 00:20:11.048 --> 00:20:12.299 Cold. 00:20:12.341 --> 00:20:13.759 And when's your date? 00:20:13.842 --> 00:20:15.385 In 20 minutes.