WEBVTT

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<i>On November 1, 1959, the population
of New York City was 8,042,783.</i>

00:01:33.551 --> 00:01:38.097
<i>If you laid them all end to end, figuring
an average height of 5 feet 6½ inches...</i>

00:01:38.264 --> 00:01:42.268
<i>they would reach from Times Square
to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan.</i>

00:01:42.435 --> 00:01:46.814
<i>I know facts like this because I work for
an insurance company, Consolidated Life.</i>

00:01:46.981 --> 00:01:49.484
<i>We're one of the top five companies
in the country.</i>

00:01:49.651 --> 00:01:53.404
<i>Our home office has 31,259 employees...</i>

00:01:53.571 --> 00:01:57.867
<i>which is more than the entire population
of, uh... Natchez, Mississippi.</i>

00:01:58.034 --> 00:02:00.995
<i>I work on the 19th floor.
Ordinary Policy Department...</i>

00:02:01.162 --> 00:02:05.333
<i>Premium Accounting Division,
Section W, desk number 861.</i>

00:02:05.833 --> 00:02:10.421
<i>My name is C. C. Baxter: C for Calvin, C
for Clifford. But most people call me Bud.</i>

00:02:10.588 --> 00:02:15.802
<i>I've worked here three years, ten months,
and my take-home pay is $94.70 a week.</i>

00:02:25.979 --> 00:02:29.148
<i>The hours in our department
are 8.50 to 5.20.</i>

00:02:34.153 --> 00:02:39.075
<i>They're staggered by floor so 16 elevators
can handle the 31,259 employees...</i>

00:02:39.242 --> 00:02:41.661
<i>without a serious traffic jam.</i>

00:02:41.828 --> 00:02:46.958
<i>As for myself, I very often stay on at the
office and work for an extra hour or two...</i>

00:02:47.125 --> 00:02:49.168
<i>especially when the weather is bad.</i>

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<i>It's not that I'm overly ambitious.
It's just a way of killing time...</i>

00:02:53.047 --> 00:02:55.717
<i>until it's all right for me to go home.</i>

00:02:55.883 --> 00:02:59.387
<i>You see, I have this little problem
with my apartment.</i>

00:03:00.930 --> 00:03:04.142
<i>I live in the West 60s,
just half a block from Central Park.</i>

00:03:04.308 --> 00:03:07.437
<i>My rent is $85 a month.
It used to be $80 until last July...</i>

00:03:07.645 --> 00:03:11.482
<i>when Mrs. Lieberman, the landlady,
put in a second-hand air conditioner.</i>

00:03:11.649 --> 00:03:17.280
<i>It's a real nice apartment. Nothing fancy,
but kind of cozy. Just right for a bachelor.</i>

00:03:17.488 --> 00:03:20.867
<i>The only problem is
I can't always get in when I want to.</i>

00:03:28.458 --> 00:03:30.585
Please, Sylvia. It's a quarter of nine.

00:03:30.752 --> 00:03:34.046
First you can't wait to get me here
and then it's rush, rush, rush.

00:03:34.213 --> 00:03:37.383
- Makes a person feel cheap.
- Sweetie, it's not that.

00:03:37.550 --> 00:03:40.303
But I promised the guy
I'd be outta here by eight.

00:03:40.470 --> 00:03:46.058
- What guy? Whose apartment is this?
- Some schnook that works in the office.

00:03:59.572 --> 00:04:01.949
- Good evening, Mr. Baxter.
- Mrs. Lieberman.

00:04:02.116 --> 00:04:07.121
Some weather we're having. Must be from
all that meshugaas at Cape Canaveral.

00:04:08.414 --> 00:04:13.169
- You're locked out of your apartment?
- No, no. Just waiting for a friend.

00:04:13.711 --> 00:04:17.089
- Good night, Mrs. Lieberman.
- Good night, Mr. Baxter.

00:04:34.982 --> 00:04:37.610
- Where do you live?
- I told you. With my mother.

00:04:37.777 --> 00:04:40.947
- Where does she live?
- 179th Street, in the Bronx.

00:04:41.113 --> 00:04:46.077
- All right. I'll take you to the subway.
- Like hell you will! You'll buy me a cab.

00:04:46.244 --> 00:04:50.122
- Why do all you dames live in the Bronx?
- You bring other girls up here?

00:04:50.289 --> 00:04:53.209
Certainly not. I'm a happily married man.

00:05:32.498 --> 00:05:35.584
- Hello there, Mrs. Dreyfuss.
- Something's the matter?

00:05:35.793 --> 00:05:39.797
Uh, no. I... seem to have
dropped my key. Ah, here it is.

00:05:39.964 --> 00:05:42.425
Such a racket I heard in your place.

00:05:42.591 --> 00:05:44.677
Maybe you had burglars?

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Don't worry about that. There's nothing in
here anybody'd wanna steal. Good night.

00:06:28.095 --> 00:06:32.600
Sorry to bother you, Buddy-boy,
but the little lady forgot her galoshes.

00:06:32.767 --> 00:06:36.228
Mr. Kirkeby, you were supposed
to be outta here by eight.

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I know, but those things don't always
run on schedule like a Greyhound bus.

00:06:41.108 --> 00:06:43.736
I don't mind in the summer,
but on a rainy night...

00:06:43.903 --> 00:06:46.530
- I haven't had any dinner yet.
- Sure, sure.

00:06:46.697 --> 00:06:48.783
Oh!

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I put in a good word for you
with Sheldrake in Personnel.

00:06:52.411 --> 00:06:53.871
- Mr. Sheldrake?
- That's right.

00:06:54.121 --> 00:06:58.042
We discussed manpower promotionwise.
I told him you're a bright boy.

00:06:58.209 --> 00:07:02.296
They're always on the lookout for
young executives. You're on your way up.

00:07:02.463 --> 00:07:06.300
- And you're also out of liquor.
- Mr. Eichelberger, Mortgage and Loans...

00:07:06.467 --> 00:07:10.888
- Last night he had a Halloween party.
- Lay in some vodka and vermouth for me.

00:07:11.055 --> 00:07:15.309
- You still owe me for the last two bottles.
- I'll pay you on Friday.

00:07:15.476 --> 00:07:20.773
Oh, and whatever happened to those little
cheese crackers you used to have?

00:07:22.942 --> 00:07:25.027
Cheese crackers?

00:08:03.107 --> 00:08:05.150
Cheers.

00:08:22.376 --> 00:08:24.962
- Good evening, Baxter.
- Hi, Doc. Had a late call?

00:08:25.129 --> 00:08:29.717
Yeah. Some clown at Schrafft's ate
a club sandwich... including the toothpick.

00:08:31.760 --> 00:08:34.430
- Well, good night, Doc.
- Say, Baxter.

00:08:34.555 --> 00:08:38.392
The way you're beltin' that stuff,
you must have cast-iron kidneys.

00:08:38.559 --> 00:08:42.730
That's not me. Just once in a while
I have a few people in for a drink.

00:08:42.855 --> 00:08:45.899
As a matter of fact, you must be
an iron man all around.

00:08:46.066 --> 00:08:49.278
From what I hear through the walls,
you're at it every night.

00:08:49.445 --> 00:08:53.949
- I'm sorry if it gets noisy.
- And sometimes there's a double-header.

00:08:54.700 --> 00:08:58.078
- A nebbish like you.
- Yeah. Well, I'll see you, Doc.

00:08:58.245 --> 00:09:01.957
You know, I'm doing some research
at the Columbia Medical Center.

00:09:02.166 --> 00:09:04.376
- Could you do us a favor?
- Me?

00:09:04.543 --> 00:09:08.297
When you make out your will...
and the way you're going, you should...

00:09:08.464 --> 00:09:12.551
would you mind leaving
your body to the university?

00:09:12.718 --> 00:09:17.014
My body? I'm afraid you guys'd
be disappointed. Good night, Doc.

00:09:18.390 --> 00:09:20.476
Slow down, kid.

00:09:58.972 --> 00:10:01.016
Oh, for heaven...

00:10:08.482 --> 00:10:13.028
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00:11:11.837 --> 00:11:15.549
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00:11:15.716 --> 00:11:19.219
<i>Friends, do you have wobbly dentures?</i>

00:11:45.245 --> 00:11:47.039
- Hello.
- Hiya, Buddy-boy.

00:11:47.205 --> 00:11:51.001
I'm in this bar on 61st Street
and I figured I'd give you a little buzz.

00:11:51.168 --> 00:11:53.712
That's very nice of you but... who is this?

00:11:53.920 --> 00:11:56.256
Dobisch. Joe Dobisch, in Administration.

00:11:56.506 --> 00:12:00.218
- Oh, yeah. I didn't recognize your voice.
- That's OK, Buddy-boy.

00:12:00.385 --> 00:12:04.973
Like I was saying, I'm in this joint
on 61st and I think I got lucky.

00:12:06.099 --> 00:12:10.103
I'm sorry, Mr. Dobisch. I like to help
you fellas out, but it's sort of late.

00:12:10.270 --> 00:12:14.566
- Why don't we make it some other time?
- Listen, kid. I can't pass this up.

00:12:14.733 --> 00:12:17.444
She looks like Marilyn Monroe.

00:12:17.652 --> 00:12:21.907
I'm already in bed. And I took a sleeping
pill. So I'm afraid the answer is no.

00:12:22.366 --> 00:12:26.453
We're doing the monthly efficiency rating.
I'm putting you in the top ten.

00:12:26.620 --> 00:12:28.830
You don't wanna
louse yourself up, do you?

00:12:28.955 --> 00:12:33.710
No. But how can I be efficient in the
office if I don't get enough sleep at night?

00:12:33.919 --> 00:12:38.048
It's only eleven, and I just
want the place for 45 minutes.

00:12:40.258 --> 00:12:43.136
I'm getting lonely.
Who are you talking to, anyway?

00:12:44.429 --> 00:12:47.766
I'm all out of liquor,
there's no clean glasses...

00:12:47.933 --> 00:12:51.561
- There's no cheese crackers. No nothin'.
- Let me worry about that.

00:12:51.728 --> 00:12:54.523
Just leave the key under the mat
and clear out.

00:12:54.689 --> 00:12:56.775
Yes, Mr. Dobisch.

00:12:57.692 --> 00:13:00.362
Anything you say, Mr. Dobisch!

00:13:01.113 --> 00:13:04.950
No trouble at all, Mr. Dobisch!
Be my guest!

00:13:05.867 --> 00:13:08.787
We never close at Buddy-boy's.

00:13:12.457 --> 00:13:14.584
"Looks like Marilyn Monroe"!

00:13:58.003 --> 00:14:00.839
- This the place?
- Yeah.

00:14:01.006 --> 00:14:02.966
- How much?
- 70 cents.

00:14:03.133 --> 00:14:05.176
Get the money, will you?

00:14:06.845 --> 00:14:08.972
Watch those stingers!

00:14:10.307 --> 00:14:12.350
- Give him a buck.
- Thanks, lady.

00:14:14.269 --> 00:14:16.354
Put it back, honey!

00:14:18.273 --> 00:14:20.191
Attagirl.

00:14:20.358 --> 00:14:23.486
- Are you sure this is a good idea?
- Can't think of a better one.

00:14:23.653 --> 00:14:25.864
Barging in on your mother so late at night.

00:14:26.031 --> 00:14:30.702
Don't worry about the old lady. One
squawk from her and she's out of a job.

00:15:35.100 --> 00:15:37.394
- Morning, Mr. Kirkeby.
- How are you, Baxter?

00:15:37.560 --> 00:15:41.439
- They keeping you busy these days?
- Yes, sir. They are indeed.

00:15:41.606 --> 00:15:45.235
Good morning, Mr. Kessel, Miss Robinson,
Mr. Williams, Miss Livingston.

00:15:45.402 --> 00:15:48.238
Good morning, Mr. McKellway,
Mrs. Schubert, Mr. Davis.

00:15:48.405 --> 00:15:51.032
Good morning, Mr. Kirkeby.
Good morning, Mr. Baxter.

00:15:51.199 --> 00:15:53.993
- Morning, Miss Kubelik.
- That's all. Take it away.

00:15:54.160 --> 00:15:56.663
Watch the door, please. Blasting off.

00:16:00.125 --> 00:16:03.503
- What did you do to your hair?
- It made me nervous so I chopped it off.

00:16:03.670 --> 00:16:06.923
- Big mistake, huh?
- No. I sort of like it.

00:16:07.132 --> 00:16:09.759
- You got a lulu.
- Yeah. Better not get too close.

00:16:09.968 --> 00:16:11.803
- I never catch colds.
- Really?

00:16:11.970 --> 00:16:14.764
I was reading some sickness
and accident claims figures.

00:16:14.973 --> 00:16:19.519
The average New Yorker aged between
20 and 50 has two and a half colds a year.

00:16:19.686 --> 00:16:22.105
- That makes me feel just terrible.
- Why?

00:16:22.272 --> 00:16:26.484
If I have no colds a year, some poor slob
must have five colds a year.

00:16:26.651 --> 00:16:30.196
- Yeah. It's me.
- You shoulda stayed in bed this morning.

00:16:30.363 --> 00:16:32.866
I shoulda stayed in bed last night.

00:16:33.616 --> 00:16:35.201
19!

00:16:38.454 --> 00:16:39.789
Watch your step.

00:16:40.415 --> 00:16:44.127
That Kubelik. Boy, would I like
to get her on a slow elevator to China!

00:16:44.294 --> 00:16:47.881
- She's the best operator in the building.
- I'm pretty good myself.

00:16:48.089 --> 00:16:51.050
- But she won't give me a date.
- Maybe it's your approach.

00:16:51.259 --> 00:16:54.971
A lot of guys around here have tried
all kinds of approaches. No dice.

00:16:55.138 --> 00:16:59.267
- What's she trying to prove?
- She could just be a nice respectable girl.

00:16:59.434 --> 00:17:01.978
Listen to him! Little Lord Fauntleroy.

00:17:27.295 --> 00:17:31.215
Hello. Mr. Dobisch?
This is Baxter on the 19th floor.

00:17:31.341 --> 00:17:33.051
Oh, Buddy-boy!

00:17:33.217 --> 00:17:38.097
I was just about to call you. I'm sorry
about that mess on the living room wall.

00:17:38.306 --> 00:17:42.435
My friend kept insisting Picasso was
a bum, so she started to do that mural.

00:17:42.644 --> 00:17:44.979
It's not Picasso I'm calling about.

00:17:45.146 --> 00:17:49.859
It's the key to my apartment.
You're supposed to leave it under the mat.

00:17:50.151 --> 00:17:53.154
But I did. I distinctly
remember putting it there.

00:17:53.321 --> 00:17:56.366
Oh, I found the key all right.
Only it's the wrong key!

00:17:56.908 --> 00:18:02.747
It is? No wonder I couldn't get into
the executive washroom this morning.

00:18:02.872 --> 00:18:05.291
And I couldn't get into my apartment!

00:18:05.500 --> 00:18:09.462
So at 4am I gotta wake up the landlady
and give her a whole song and dance.

00:18:09.587 --> 00:18:12.757
That's a shame.
I'll send the key right down.

00:18:12.924 --> 00:18:14.801
And about your promotion.

00:18:14.967 --> 00:18:18.137
I'll send that efficiency report
to Mr. Sheldrake in Personnel.

00:18:18.346 --> 00:18:20.807
You may hear from him
before the day's over.

00:18:20.932 --> 00:18:22.975
Thank you, Mr. Dobisch.

00:18:49.961 --> 00:18:51.921
From Mr. Dobisch.

00:18:52.088 --> 00:18:54.173
Wait.

00:19:04.809 --> 00:19:06.853
For Mr. Dobisch.

00:19:13.568 --> 00:19:15.653
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

00:19:30.334 --> 00:19:32.128
Vanderhof. Public Relations.

00:19:32.295 --> 00:19:34.255
Oh, yes, Baxter. Just a minute.

00:19:34.422 --> 00:19:37.800
All right, Miss Finch.
Type up what we got so far.

00:19:40.303 --> 00:19:42.638
Look, I've got you down for tonight...

00:19:42.805 --> 00:19:46.058
but I'll be using the place myself,
so I'll have to cancel.

00:19:46.267 --> 00:19:49.187
But it's her birthday.
I already ordered the cake.

00:19:49.312 --> 00:19:54.400
But I am sick. I got a terrible cold and a
fever. I got to go to bed right after work.

00:19:54.609 --> 00:19:58.237
If you got a cold, you go to a Turkish bath.
Spend the night. Sweat it out.

00:19:58.446 --> 00:20:02.575
That's how you get pneumonia. If I got
pneumonia, I'd be in bed for a month.

00:20:02.742 --> 00:20:07.079
OK. You made your point. We'll just
have to do it next Wednesday night.

00:20:07.288 --> 00:20:12.919
- It's the only night I can get away.
- Wednesday, Wednesday... Wednesday.

00:20:14.462 --> 00:20:16.756
I got somebody penciled in.

00:20:16.923 --> 00:20:19.842
Let me see what I can do.
I'll get back to you.

00:20:30.102 --> 00:20:34.273
- Mr. Eichelberger.
- Oh, yes, Baxter. What's your problem?

00:20:36.108 --> 00:20:41.197
Wednesday is out? Oh, that throws
a little monkey wrench into my agenda.

00:20:41.364 --> 00:20:44.700
Thursday? No,
I'm all tied up on Thursday.

00:20:46.035 --> 00:20:49.288
Let's schedule that, uh...
meeting for Friday.

00:20:49.413 --> 00:20:51.457
Friday.

00:20:52.375 --> 00:20:55.127
Let me see what I can do.
I'll get back to you.

00:21:00.841 --> 00:21:05.638
Premiumwise and billingwise, we are 18
percent ahead of last year Octoberwise.

00:21:08.432 --> 00:21:11.519
Hello? Yeah, Baxter. What's up?

00:21:11.686 --> 00:21:14.814
Instead of Friday, could you
possibly switch to Thursday?

00:21:14.981 --> 00:21:17.817
You'd be doing me a great favor.

00:21:18.192 --> 00:21:20.736
Let me check. I'll get back to you.

00:21:22.530 --> 00:21:24.949
Consolidated Life. I'll connect you.

00:21:25.116 --> 00:21:26.993
Sylvia, it's for you.

00:21:27.159 --> 00:21:28.953
Yeah?

00:21:29.120 --> 00:21:30.746
Oh, hello.

00:21:30.913 --> 00:21:34.166
Sure I got home all right.
You owe me 45 cents.

00:21:34.375 --> 00:21:38.087
Look, Sylvia. Instead of Friday,
could we make it Thursday night?

00:21:38.379 --> 00:21:43.467
Thursday?! Well, that's
"The Untouchables" with Bob Stack!

00:21:43.801 --> 00:21:45.845
Bob who?

00:21:46.303 --> 00:21:50.015
All right, so we'll watch it
at the apartment. Big deal!

00:21:54.186 --> 00:21:56.814
Hello, Baxter? It's OK for Thursday.

00:21:57.481 --> 00:21:59.525
Thank you, Mr. Kirkeby.

00:22:09.034 --> 00:22:11.704
Mr. Eichelberger, it's OK for Friday.

00:22:19.170 --> 00:22:22.047
Mr. Vanderhof? OK for Wednesday.

00:22:33.017 --> 00:22:34.852
All right. I'll tell him.

00:22:35.019 --> 00:22:38.814
Hey, Baxter, that was Personnel.
Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.

00:22:38.981 --> 00:22:43.986
She's been trying to reach you for the last
20 minutes. They want you upstairs.

00:22:44.778 --> 00:22:49.658
- Are you getting promoted? Or fired?
- Would you care to make a small wager?

00:22:49.825 --> 00:22:53.954
- I've been here twice as long as you but...
- Let's say a dollar?

00:22:54.121 --> 00:22:55.789
It's a bet!

00:23:09.803 --> 00:23:12.056
- Going up?
- Oh! Excuse me.

00:23:12.223 --> 00:23:17.436
27, please. Drive carefully. You're carrying
precious cargo. I mean manpowerwise.

00:23:18.521 --> 00:23:19.688
27.

00:23:19.855 --> 00:23:23.776
You may not realize it, but I am
in the top ten, efficiencywise...

00:23:23.943 --> 00:23:26.695
and this may be the day promotionwise.

00:23:26.862 --> 00:23:29.448
You're beginning to sound
like Mr. Kirkeby already.

00:23:29.657 --> 00:23:33.619
- Why not, as they're kicking me upstairs?
- Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

00:23:33.827 --> 00:23:37.456
You know, you're the only one
who takes his hat off in the elevator.

00:23:37.665 --> 00:23:39.917
Something happens to men in elevators.

00:23:40.084 --> 00:23:43.045
It's the change of altitude.
The blood rushes to their head.

00:23:43.212 --> 00:23:46.382
- I could tell you stories...
- I'd love to hear 'em.

00:23:46.548 --> 00:23:49.093
We could have lunch
in the cafeteria sometime.

00:23:49.260 --> 00:23:51.136
Or some evening, after work?

00:23:51.303 --> 00:23:53.847
- 27.
- Oh.

00:23:53.973 --> 00:23:56.600
- I hope everything goes all right.
- I hope so.

00:23:56.767 --> 00:23:59.478
They would call me today,
what with my cold.

00:23:59.687 --> 00:24:02.147
- How do I look?
- Fine. Wait.

00:24:02.982 --> 00:24:04.483
Thank you.

00:24:04.692 --> 00:24:09.488
I noticed, when you were still on the
local elevator, you always wore a flower.

00:24:09.697 --> 00:24:12.157
Good luck. And wipe your nose.

00:24:27.756 --> 00:24:31.218
C. C. Baxter, Ordinary Premium
Accounting. Mr. Sheldrake called me.

00:24:31.385 --> 00:24:34.096
I called you. That is,
I tried to for 20 minutes.

00:24:34.263 --> 00:24:35.889
- I'm sorry.
- Go on in.

00:24:45.065 --> 00:24:46.608
- Baxter?
- Yes, sir.

00:24:46.775 --> 00:24:48.861
Come in, come in.

00:24:49.778 --> 00:24:52.698
I was sort of wondering
what you looked like, Baxter.

00:24:52.906 --> 00:24:55.409
- Sit down.
- Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.

00:24:56.910 --> 00:24:59.580
Been hearing some nice things about you.

00:24:59.747 --> 00:25:02.791
Mr. Dobisch says you're loyal,
cooperative, resourceful.

00:25:02.958 --> 00:25:07.296
- Mr. Dobisch said that?
- Mr. Kirkeby tells me you often work late...

00:25:07.588 --> 00:25:10.799
- without overtime.
- You know how it is. Things pile up.

00:25:11.467 --> 00:25:15.053
Mr. Vanderhof in Public Relations and
Mr. Eichelberger in Mortgage and Loans...

00:25:15.220 --> 00:25:18.098
would both like you
transferred to their departments.

00:25:18.265 --> 00:25:20.225
Very flattering.

00:25:21.268 --> 00:25:25.481
Tell me, Baxter. Just what is it
that makes you so popular?

00:25:25.647 --> 00:25:29.109
- I don't know.
- Think.

00:25:34.323 --> 00:25:38.327
- Would you mind repeating the question?
- Look, Baxter. I'm not stupid.

00:25:38.494 --> 00:25:42.998
I know everything that goes on
in this building every day of the year.

00:25:43.165 --> 00:25:44.625
You do?

00:25:44.792 --> 00:25:49.296
In 1957 we had an employee here,
name of Fowler. He was very popular too.

00:25:49.463 --> 00:25:52.132
It turned out
he was running a bookie joint...

00:25:52.299 --> 00:25:55.803
tying up our switchboard, using
our IBM machines to figure the odds.

00:25:55.969 --> 00:26:00.182
The day before the Kentucky Derby I
called in the vice squad, who raided him.

00:26:00.349 --> 00:26:02.351
- The vice squad?
- That's right.

00:26:02.518 --> 00:26:05.812
What's that got to do with me?
I'm not running any bookie joint.

00:26:05.979 --> 00:26:09.441
- Just what kind of joint are you running?
- Sir?

00:26:09.650 --> 00:26:14.655
A key is floating around from Kirkeby
to Vanderhof to Eichelberger to Dobisch.

00:26:14.821 --> 00:26:16.740
It's the key to a certain apartment.

00:26:16.907 --> 00:26:20.410
- Know who that apartment belongs to?
- Who?

00:26:20.827 --> 00:26:23.914
Loyal, resourceful, cooperative
C. C. Baxter.

00:26:26.375 --> 00:26:28.877
- Oh.
- Are you going to deny it?

00:26:30.003 --> 00:26:33.924
No. I'm not going to deny it.
If you'd just let me explain.

00:26:34.508 --> 00:26:36.301
You'd better.

00:26:36.468 --> 00:26:38.554
Well...

00:26:39.179 --> 00:26:43.892
about a year ago, I was going to night
school, studying advanced accounting.

00:26:44.059 --> 00:26:49.064
One of the guys in our department... lives
in Jersey... had to go to a banquet in town.

00:26:49.231 --> 00:26:53.569
He needed some place to change
into a tuxedo, so I gave him the key.

00:26:53.735 --> 00:26:59.700
Word must've gotten out because all sorts
of guys were suddenly going to banquets.

00:26:59.866 --> 00:27:04.746
You give the key to one guy, you can't
say no to another. It all got out of hand.

00:27:07.749 --> 00:27:11.086
Baxter, an insurance company
is founded on public trust.

00:27:11.253 --> 00:27:14.548
Any employee who conducts himself
in a manner unbecoming...

00:27:14.715 --> 00:27:17.718
How many charter members
are there in this little club?

00:27:17.884 --> 00:27:21.596
Just those four. Out of a total of 31,259.

00:27:21.763 --> 00:27:25.851
So actually we can be very proud
of our personnel... percentagewise.

00:27:26.059 --> 00:27:30.605
That's not the point. Four rotten apples
in a barrel, however large the barrel...

00:27:30.772 --> 00:27:33.942
- Do you realize if this ever leaked out...
- It won't!

00:27:34.109 --> 00:27:39.114
Believe me. Never again. Nobody
is gonna use my apartment from now on.

00:27:39.281 --> 00:27:41.908
- Where is your apartment?
- West 67th Street.

00:27:42.075 --> 00:27:47.497
You have no idea what I go through with
the neighbors, the landlady and the key.

00:27:47.664 --> 00:27:49.666
How do you work it with the key?

00:27:49.833 --> 00:27:54.713
I slip it to 'em in the office and they leave
it under a mat. Never again. I promise.

00:27:58.467 --> 00:28:02.429
- Yes, Miss Olsen?
- Mrs. Sheldrake, returning your call. On 2.

00:28:06.933 --> 00:28:09.061
Yes, dear. Where were you?

00:28:09.811 --> 00:28:14.566
You had to take Tommy to the dentist?
No cavities? Good. Hold it, dear.

00:28:14.775 --> 00:28:17.736
- Where are you going, Baxter?
- I don't wanna intrude.

00:28:17.944 --> 00:28:21.156
- Since this is straightened out...
- I'm not through with you yet.

00:28:21.323 --> 00:28:23.492
I won't be home for dinner tonight.

00:28:23.658 --> 00:28:27.662
The branch manager from Kansas City
is in town. I'm taking him to the theater.

00:28:27.829 --> 00:28:29.623
"Music Man." What else?

00:28:29.790 --> 00:28:32.334
No, don't wait up for me,
darling. Goodbye.

00:28:33.502 --> 00:28:36.922
Tell me, Baxter.
Have you seen "Music Man"?

00:28:37.130 --> 00:28:39.674
Not yet. I hear it's one swell show.

00:28:39.841 --> 00:28:42.010
How would you like to go tonight?

00:28:42.177 --> 00:28:46.473
You and me? I thought you were taking
the branch manager from Kansas City.

00:28:46.723 --> 00:28:49.851
No, I have other plans.
You can have both tickets.

00:28:50.018 --> 00:28:52.020
Well... that's very kind of you.

00:28:52.187 --> 00:28:56.191
But I'm not feeling well. I've got
this cold. I'm gonna go right home.

00:28:56.441 --> 00:29:00.028
Baxter, you're not reading me.
I told you I have plans.

00:29:00.362 --> 00:29:03.532
So do I. I'm gonna take
four aspirins, get into bed.

00:29:03.698 --> 00:29:06.034
So give the tickets to somebody else.

00:29:06.368 --> 00:29:11.039
Look, Baxter. I'm not just giving
these tickets. I wanna swap them.

00:29:11.206 --> 00:29:13.416
Swap 'em? For what?

00:29:15.669 --> 00:29:20.549
It also says here that you are
alert, astute and quite imaginative.

00:29:21.716 --> 00:29:23.718
Oh?

00:29:28.723 --> 00:29:30.809
Oh...

00:29:40.193 --> 00:29:44.239
That's good thinking, Baxter. There's
gonna be a shift in personnel next month.

00:29:44.406 --> 00:29:48.243
And as far as I'm concerned,
you are executive material.

00:29:48.410 --> 00:29:50.912
- I am?
- Now put down the key.

00:29:54.082 --> 00:29:56.126
And put down the address.

00:29:58.086 --> 00:30:03.300
It's on the second floor. There's no name
over the door. It just says apartment 2A.

00:30:04.217 --> 00:30:06.219
- It's that cold.
- Relax, Baxter.

00:30:06.386 --> 00:30:08.430
Yes, thank you, sir.

00:30:10.432 --> 00:30:13.518
You will be careful with
the record player? Shh.

00:30:13.685 --> 00:30:15.687
Oh, and about the liquor.

00:30:15.895 --> 00:30:20.483
I ordered some this morning.
I don't know when they'll deliver it.

00:30:21.443 --> 00:30:24.446
- This is going to be our little secret.
- Of course.

00:30:24.613 --> 00:30:27.282
- You know how people talk.
- Don't worry about that.

00:30:27.449 --> 00:30:31.119
- Not that I have anything to hide.
- No! Anyway, it's none of my business.

00:30:31.286 --> 00:30:35.123
Four apples, five apples.
What's the difference?

00:30:35.290 --> 00:30:37.292
Percentagewise.

00:30:37.459 --> 00:30:40.003
Here you are, Baxter. Have a nice time.

00:30:40.170 --> 00:30:42.297
You too, sir.

00:30:59.356 --> 00:31:03.234
So I figure, a man in his position,
he'll take me to El Morocco, maybe 21.

00:31:03.401 --> 00:31:08.031
Instead he takes me to Hamburger
Heaven and some schnook's apartment.

00:31:12.911 --> 00:31:15.038
- Good night.
- Good night.

00:31:17.040 --> 00:31:19.292
Oh! Miss Kubelik?

00:31:19.459 --> 00:31:22.587
I've been waiting for you.
I almost didn't recognize you.

00:31:22.754 --> 00:31:25.924
This is the first time
I've seen you in civilian clothes.

00:31:26.091 --> 00:31:28.301
- How'd it go on the 27th floor?
- Great.

00:31:28.468 --> 00:31:30.887
- Look, have you seen "The Music Man"?
- No.

00:31:31.054 --> 00:31:32.597
- Would you like to?
- Sure.

00:31:32.764 --> 00:31:35.100
We could get a bite to eat first,
and then go.

00:31:35.266 --> 00:31:36.768
- Oh, you mean tonight?
- Yeah.

00:31:36.935 --> 00:31:40.021
- I'm sorry, I can't. I'm meeting somebody.
- Oh.

00:31:40.230 --> 00:31:43.733
- You mean... like a girlfriend?
- No. Like a man.

00:31:43.900 --> 00:31:48.446
I wasn't trying to be personal. The fellas
in the office were wondering if you ever...

00:31:48.613 --> 00:31:50.532
You tell 'em now and then.

00:31:50.698 --> 00:31:54.953
This date, is it... just a date?
Or is it something serious?

00:31:55.120 --> 00:31:58.581
Well, it used to be serious.
At least, I was. But he wasn't.

00:31:58.748 --> 00:32:01.084
So now the whole thing's
more or less kaput.

00:32:01.251 --> 00:32:03.795
- In that case, couldn't you...
- I'm afraid not.

00:32:03.962 --> 00:32:08.133
I promised I'd have a drink with him.
He's been calling me all week.

00:32:08.800 --> 00:32:10.969
I understand.

00:32:11.135 --> 00:32:15.640
Well, it was just an idea. I hate
to see a theater ticket go to waste.

00:32:15.807 --> 00:32:18.893
- What time does the show go on?
- 8:30.

00:32:19.102 --> 00:32:21.396
Well, I could meet you at the theatre.

00:32:21.563 --> 00:32:25.608
That's wonderful!
It's the Majestic on 44th Street.

00:32:25.775 --> 00:32:27.610
I'll meet you in the lobby.

00:32:27.777 --> 00:32:31.239
You know, I felt so lousy
this morning. Had 101 fever.

00:32:31.447 --> 00:32:34.826
Now along comes my promotion
and us... 11th row center.

00:32:34.993 --> 00:32:36.953
And you said I should've stayed in bed.

00:32:37.120 --> 00:32:39.247
- How is your cold?
- What cold?

00:32:39.455 --> 00:32:43.418
After the show we could go out
on the town.

00:32:43.585 --> 00:32:46.337
- I've been taking from Arthur Murray.
- So I see.

00:32:46.504 --> 00:32:49.465
There's a great band
at El Chico, in the Village.

00:32:49.632 --> 00:32:53.136
- Around the corner from where you live.
- Sounds good.

00:32:53.303 --> 00:32:57.849
- How do you know where I live?
- Oh, I... even know who you live with.

00:32:58.016 --> 00:33:00.018
Your sister and brother-in-law.

00:33:00.184 --> 00:33:04.147
I know when you were born and where.
I know all sorts of things about you.

00:33:04.314 --> 00:33:05.690
How come?

00:33:05.857 --> 00:33:10.528
A couple of months ago I looked up
your card in the group insurance file.

00:33:10.695 --> 00:33:14.532
I know your height and your weight
and your social security number.

00:33:14.699 --> 00:33:18.703
You had mumps and measles
and you had your appendix out.

00:33:19.621 --> 00:33:22.707
Don't mention the appendix
to the fellas in the office.

00:33:22.874 --> 00:33:27.712
I wouldn't want 'em to get the wrong idea
about how you found out. Bye.

00:33:30.965 --> 00:33:33.051
8:30!

00:34:21.933 --> 00:34:26.020
- Good evening, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Please, Fran. Not so loud.

00:34:26.229 --> 00:34:28.606
Still afraid someone
might see us together?

00:34:28.773 --> 00:34:32.443
- Let me take your coat.
- No, Jeff. I can't stay very long.

00:34:33.736 --> 00:34:36.948
- Can I have a frozen daiquiri?
- It's on the way.

00:34:38.032 --> 00:34:41.452
- I see you went ahead and cut your hair.
- That's right.

00:34:41.619 --> 00:34:44.914
- You know I liked it better long.
- I know.

00:34:45.081 --> 00:34:47.959
You want a lock to carry in your wallet?

00:34:48.709 --> 00:34:52.296
- Evening, lady. Nice to see you again.
- Thank you.

00:34:53.422 --> 00:34:55.633
How long has it been, Fran? A month?

00:34:55.800 --> 00:34:58.469
Six weeks. But who's counting?

00:34:59.595 --> 00:35:01.639
I missed you.

00:35:04.142 --> 00:35:06.144
Like old times.

00:35:06.310 --> 00:35:09.063
Same booth. Same song.

00:35:09.897 --> 00:35:14.068
- It's been hell.
- Same sauce. Sweet-and-sour.

00:35:16.612 --> 00:35:19.699
You don't know what it's like,
next to you in that elevator.

00:35:19.866 --> 00:35:23.077
"Good morning, Miss Kubelik."
"Good night, Mr. Sheldrake."

00:35:23.286 --> 00:35:25.746
I'm still crazy about you, Fran.

00:35:25.913 --> 00:35:31.460
Let's not start on that again, Jeff. Please?
I'm just beginning to get over it.

00:35:32.753 --> 00:35:35.256
I don't believe you.

00:35:36.465 --> 00:35:39.343
Look, Jeff. We had two
wonderful months this summer.

00:35:39.510 --> 00:35:42.346
But that was it. Happens all the time.

00:35:42.513 --> 00:35:46.642
Wife and kids go away to the country and
the boss has a fling with his secretary...

00:35:46.809 --> 00:35:49.520
or the manicurist, or the elevator girl.

00:35:49.687 --> 00:35:53.024
Come September,
the picnic's over. Goodbye.

00:35:53.190 --> 00:35:57.194
The kids go back to school,
the boss goes back to the wife...

00:35:57.361 --> 00:35:59.488
and the girl...

00:36:00.781 --> 00:36:03.826
They don't make these shrimp
like they used to.

00:36:06.954 --> 00:36:09.665
I never said goodbye, Fran.

00:36:11.167 --> 00:36:16.505
For a while there, you try kidding yourself
that you're going with an unmarried man.

00:36:16.672 --> 00:36:19.383
Then one day he keeps
looking at his watch...

00:36:19.550 --> 00:36:22.178
and asks you if any lipstick's showing...

00:36:22.345 --> 00:36:25.890
then rushes out to catch
the 7:14 to White Plains.

00:36:27.058 --> 00:36:30.561
So you fix yourself
a cup of instant coffee...

00:36:30.728 --> 00:36:34.565
and you sit there
by yourself and you think...

00:36:35.524 --> 00:36:38.861
and it all begins to look so... ugly.

00:36:42.365 --> 00:36:46.077
How do you think I felt
riding home on that 7:14 train?

00:36:46.243 --> 00:36:50.414
Why do you keep calling me, Jeff?
What do you want from me?

00:36:50.581 --> 00:36:52.583
I want you back, Fran.

00:36:52.750 --> 00:36:56.671
Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake. I'm full up.
You'll have to take the next elevator.

00:36:56.837 --> 00:37:00.716
You're not giving me a chance, Fran.
I have something to tell you.

00:37:00.883 --> 00:37:04.720
- Go ahead. Tell me.
- Not here. Can't we go some place else?

00:37:04.887 --> 00:37:07.765
- No. I have a date at 8:30.
- Oh?

00:37:08.099 --> 00:37:11.894
- Important?
- Not very, but I'm gonna be there anyway.

00:37:12.061 --> 00:37:14.689
- You ready order dinner now?
- No. No dinner.

00:37:14.855 --> 00:37:17.400
Just bring us two more drinks, will you?

00:37:37.294 --> 00:37:40.131
Fran, do you remember
that last weekend we had?

00:37:40.297 --> 00:37:45.136
Do I! That leaky boat you rented, and me
in a black negligee and a life preserver.

00:37:45.302 --> 00:37:47.638
Do you remember what we talked about?

00:37:47.805 --> 00:37:51.392
- We talked about a lot of things.
- I mean about my getting a divorce.

00:37:51.600 --> 00:37:53.894
We didn't talk about it, Jeff. You did.

00:37:54.061 --> 00:37:56.063
You didn't believe me, did you?

00:37:56.230 --> 00:38:00.651
They got it on a long-playing record now.
"Music to String Her Along By."

00:38:00.818 --> 00:38:05.614
"My wife doesn't understand me. You're
the best thing that ever happened to me."

00:38:05.781 --> 00:38:09.076
- That's enough, Fran.
- "Trust me, baby. We'll work it out."

00:38:09.243 --> 00:38:11.996
- You're not being funny.
- I wasn't trying.

00:38:12.496 --> 00:38:16.458
- Fran, just listen to me for a minute.
- All right. I'm sorry.

00:38:16.625 --> 00:38:21.672
I saw my lawyer this morning. I wanted
his advice about the best way to handle it.

00:38:21.839 --> 00:38:24.341
- Handle what?
- What do you think?

00:38:25.801 --> 00:38:30.306
Let's get something straight, Jeff.
I never asked you to leave your wife.

00:38:30.556 --> 00:38:33.184
Of course not. You had
nothing to do with it.

00:38:35.144 --> 00:38:37.313
Are you sure that's what you want?

00:38:38.314 --> 00:38:41.984
I'm sure... if you'll just tell me
that you still love me.

00:38:45.154 --> 00:38:47.198
You know I do.

00:38:50.367 --> 00:38:51.285
Fran.

00:38:57.416 --> 00:39:00.502
It is getting crowded. Let's get out of here.

00:39:32.868 --> 00:39:34.370
Taxi!

00:39:34.536 --> 00:39:38.123
- Jeff, I have that date, remember?
- But I love you, remember?

00:39:38.290 --> 00:39:40.876
Where are we going?

00:39:41.043 --> 00:39:43.879
- Not back to that leaky boat?
- I promise.

00:39:48.384 --> 00:39:50.886
51 West 67th.

00:40:29.341 --> 00:40:31.385
Congratulations.

00:40:46.734 --> 00:40:49.820
Would you mind? C. C. Baxter... that's me.

00:40:53.240 --> 00:40:55.367
Thank you.

00:41:10.591 --> 00:41:14.052
Hi, Buddy-boy.
Congratulations and all that jazz.

00:41:14.219 --> 00:41:17.681
- Hi, fellas.
- Well, you made it, just like we promised.

00:41:17.890 --> 00:41:21.018
Quite an office.
Name on the door, rug on the floor.

00:41:21.185 --> 00:41:25.856
Teamwork: that's what counts in this
organization. All for one and one for all.

00:41:26.023 --> 00:41:28.025
- Know what I mean?
- I have a vague idea.

00:41:28.192 --> 00:41:31.069
Baxter, we're a little disappointed
in you, gratitudewise.

00:41:31.445 --> 00:41:34.907
- Oh, I'm very grateful.
- Then why are you locking us out?

00:41:35.073 --> 00:41:40.621
Well, it's been sort of rough the past few
weeks, what with my cold and... like that.

00:41:40.913 --> 00:41:43.582
We went to bat for you.
Now you won't play ball with us.

00:41:43.749 --> 00:41:48.045
After all, it's my apartment. It's
private property, not a public playground.

00:41:48.212 --> 00:41:52.424
So you got yourself a girl. That's OK
with us. But not every night in the week!

00:41:52.591 --> 00:41:54.301
How selfish can you get?

00:41:54.468 --> 00:41:58.222
Last week I had to use my nephew's car
and take Sylvia to a drive-in in Jersey.

00:41:58.388 --> 00:42:01.391
I'm too old for that sort of thing...
I mean in a Volkswagen.

00:42:01.642 --> 00:42:04.811
I sympathize with you.
Believe me, I'm very sorry.

00:42:05.062 --> 00:42:08.232
- You'll be a lot sorrier.
- Are you threatening me?

00:42:08.398 --> 00:42:11.485
Listen, Baxter. We made you
and we can break you.

00:42:12.778 --> 00:42:15.614
- Good morning, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Good morning, gentlemen.

00:42:15.781 --> 00:42:19.868
- Baxter, do you like your office?
- Yes, sir. I wanna thank you very much.

00:42:20.035 --> 00:42:22.913
Don't thank me.
Your friends here recommended you.

00:42:23.080 --> 00:42:26.833
- We just dropped by to wish him luck.
- We know you won't let us down.

00:42:27.000 --> 00:42:31.797
So long, fellas. Drop in any time.
The door is always open... to my office.

00:42:32.631 --> 00:42:34.675
I like the way you handled that, Baxter.

00:42:34.841 --> 00:42:37.386
- How does it feel to be an executive?
- Oh, fine.

00:42:37.552 --> 00:42:41.348
- I'll work hard to justify your confidence.
- I'm sure you will.

00:42:41.515 --> 00:42:46.269
About the apartment. Now that you've got
a raise, can't we afford a second key?

00:42:46.436 --> 00:42:48.730
- I guess so.
- You know my secretary, Miss Olsen?

00:42:48.981 --> 00:42:51.775
- Oh, yeah. Is she the lucky girl that...?
- Oh, no, no.

00:42:52.025 --> 00:42:57.197
I just meant that she's kind of a busybody,
and passing that key back and forth...

00:42:57.364 --> 00:42:59.950
- Why take chances?
- You can't be too careful.

00:43:00.117 --> 00:43:03.120
Oh, I... have something
I think belongs to you.

00:43:03.328 --> 00:43:05.789
- Me?
- I mean the young lady, whoever she is.

00:43:05.998 --> 00:43:08.667
- I found it when I got back last night.
- Oh. Thanks.

00:43:08.834 --> 00:43:12.379
The mirror is broken.
It was broken when I found it.

00:43:14.047 --> 00:43:16.842
- Yeah. She threw it at me.
- Sir?

00:43:17.009 --> 00:43:19.469
You know how it is.
They always give you a bad time.

00:43:19.678 --> 00:43:20.679
Yeah, I know how it is.

00:43:20.846 --> 00:43:25.559
You see a girl every week for laughs and
they think you're gonna divorce your wife.

00:43:25.726 --> 00:43:28.895
- Now I ask you, is that fair?
- No, sir. It's very unfair.

00:43:29.062 --> 00:43:31.106
- Especially to your wife.
- Yeah.

00:43:31.481 --> 00:43:36.027
You know, Baxter, I envy you. A bachelor,
all the dames you want, no complications.

00:43:36.194 --> 00:43:37.738
That's the life all right.

00:43:37.904 --> 00:43:40.157
- Put me down for Thursday again.
- Roger.

00:43:40.407 --> 00:43:42.617
And I'll get that other key.

00:43:54.755 --> 00:43:58.592
- Merry Christmas. I'll connect you.
- Merry Christmas. Consolidated Life.

00:43:58.759 --> 00:44:00.761
Merry Christmas. I'm ringing.

00:44:00.927 --> 00:44:02.929
Yeah? Yeah?!

00:44:03.096 --> 00:44:04.181
Where?

00:44:04.347 --> 00:44:05.557
You bet!

00:44:05.724 --> 00:44:10.103
Somebody watch my line. There's
a swingin' party on the 19th floor!

00:44:12.481 --> 00:44:13.565
Miss Kubelik? Miss...

00:44:13.774 --> 00:44:15.942
- Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.

00:44:16.109 --> 00:44:19.154
- I thought you were avoiding me.
- What gave you that idea?

00:44:19.321 --> 00:44:22.866
In six weeks you've only been in my
elevator once, and you kept on your hat.

00:44:23.283 --> 00:44:26.661
As a matter of fact, I was rather hurt
that night you stood me up.

00:44:26.828 --> 00:44:28.830
I don't blame you. It was unforgivable.

00:44:28.997 --> 00:44:30.582
- I forgive you.
- You shouldn't.

00:44:30.790 --> 00:44:34.169
You couldn't help it. You can't
suddenly walk out on one man...

00:44:34.336 --> 00:44:36.546
because you have a date
with another man.

00:44:36.713 --> 00:44:39.090
- You did the decent thing.
- Don't be too sure.

00:44:39.299 --> 00:44:42.677
Just because I wear a uniform,
that doesn't make me a Girl Scout.

00:44:42.844 --> 00:44:47.599
A second administrative assistant has
to be a pretty good judge of character.

00:44:47.766 --> 00:44:50.185
And as far as I'm concerned, you're tops.

00:44:50.352 --> 00:44:55.023
I mean decencywise and... otherwisewise.

00:44:55.524 --> 00:44:57.817
- One more.
- I shouldn't drink while driving.

00:44:57.984 --> 00:45:03.031
You're so right. By the power vested
in me, I declare this elevator out of order.

00:45:03.240 --> 00:45:04.908
Hi!

00:45:05.075 --> 00:45:07.661
How's the branch manager
from Kansas City?

00:45:07.827 --> 00:45:09.496
- I beg your pardon?
- I'm Miss Olsen.

00:45:09.663 --> 00:45:11.581
Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.

00:45:11.748 --> 00:45:14.084
So you don't have to
play innocent with me.

00:45:14.251 --> 00:45:18.255
He used to tell his wife
I was the branch manager from Seattle...

00:45:18.421 --> 00:45:22.717
four years ago when we were having
a little ring-a-ding-ding.

00:45:23.593 --> 00:45:27.722
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Before me it was Miss Rossi in Auditing.

00:45:27.889 --> 00:45:30.517
And after me it was
Miss Koch in Disability.

00:45:30.684 --> 00:45:33.019
And right before you was a Miss, um...

00:45:33.228 --> 00:45:35.522
Oh, what's her name? On the 25th floor.

00:45:35.689 --> 00:45:39.192
- Would you excuse me?
- What for? You haven't done anything.

00:45:39.442 --> 00:45:42.612
It's him. Oh, what a salesman!

00:45:43.113 --> 00:45:45.532
Always the last booth
in the Chinese restaurant...

00:45:45.699 --> 00:45:48.827
and the same pitch
about divorcing his wife.

00:45:50.912 --> 00:45:55.292
Then, in the end, you wind up
with egg foo yung on your face.

00:45:58.461 --> 00:46:03.466
It's what they call the Junior Executive
model. What do you think?

00:46:06.845 --> 00:46:09.764
I guess I made a boo-boo, huh?

00:46:09.973 --> 00:46:12.142
- I like it.
- Really?

00:46:12.308 --> 00:46:15.186
You wouldn't be ashamed to be seen
with somebody in this hat?

00:46:15.353 --> 00:46:19.315
- Of course not.
- Maybe if I wore it a little to one side.

00:46:19.482 --> 00:46:22.193
- Is that better?
- Much better.

00:46:22.444 --> 00:46:25.030
Since you wouldn't be
ashamed to be seen with me...

00:46:25.196 --> 00:46:28.283
how about goin' out tonight...
you, me and the bowler?

00:46:28.450 --> 00:46:31.202
We'll stroll down 5th Avenue,
sort of break it in.

00:46:31.369 --> 00:46:35.206
- This is a bad day for me.
- I understand. Christmas and family.

00:46:35.373 --> 00:46:37.709
I'd better get back to my elevator
or I'll be fired.

00:46:37.876 --> 00:46:41.713
Don't worry about that. I've got
quite a bit of influence with Personnel.

00:46:41.880 --> 00:46:43.965
You know Mr. Sheldrake?

00:46:45.383 --> 00:46:47.719
- Why?
- He and I are like that.

00:46:47.886 --> 00:46:50.638
Sent me a Christmas card. See?

00:46:56.311 --> 00:46:59.063
Makes a cute picture.

00:47:00.023 --> 00:47:02.692
I could talk to Mr. Sheldrake.
Get you a promotion.

00:47:02.859 --> 00:47:08.615
- Would you like to be an elevator starter?
- Too many girls have seniority over me.

00:47:08.948 --> 00:47:12.035
No problem. Why don't we
discuss it over the holidays?

00:47:12.202 --> 00:47:16.581
I could call you, pick you up, have
a big unveiling. Am I wearing this right?

00:47:16.748 --> 00:47:18.875
I think so. Here.

00:47:19.042 --> 00:47:22.045
It's not tilted too much?
This is a conservative firm.

00:47:22.212 --> 00:47:25.340
I don't want people
to think I'm an entertainer.

00:47:29.761 --> 00:47:31.846
What's the matter?

00:47:34.557 --> 00:47:37.101
- The mirror. It's broken.
- Yes, I know.

00:47:38.102 --> 00:47:41.105
I like it that way.
Makes me look the way I feel.

00:47:45.443 --> 00:47:47.570
Your phone.

00:47:53.159 --> 00:47:55.286
Yes?

00:47:55.787 --> 00:47:57.622
Uh, just a minute.

00:47:57.789 --> 00:48:02.377
- If you don't mind, this is sort of personal.
- Have a nice Christmas.

00:48:06.172 --> 00:48:08.216
Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.

00:48:09.300 --> 00:48:14.556
No, I didn't forget. The tree is up and the
Tom and Jerry mix is in the refrigerator.

00:48:14.722 --> 00:48:16.849
Yes, sir. Same to you.

00:48:30.113 --> 00:48:31.656
The party's just starting.

00:48:31.823 --> 00:48:35.159
Listen, kid. Gimme a break.
How about tomorrow afternoon?

00:48:35.326 --> 00:48:40.915
I can't take her to that drive-in again.
The car has no heater. Four o'clock. OK?

00:49:17.118 --> 00:49:22.707
Hey, Charlie! Gimme a shot of bourbon,
and step on it! My sleigh is double-parked!

00:50:30.066 --> 00:50:33.194
You buy me a drink,
I'll buy you some music.

00:50:33.361 --> 00:50:35.446
Rum Collins.

00:50:45.540 --> 00:50:46.791
Uh...

00:50:46.958 --> 00:50:50.628
Rum Collins and...
another one of these little mothers.

00:51:02.765 --> 00:51:04.642
You like Castro?

00:51:04.809 --> 00:51:07.645
I mean, how do you feel about Castro?

00:51:07.812 --> 00:51:11.607
- What is Castro?
- You know. That big shot down in Cuba.

00:51:11.774 --> 00:51:13.901
- With the crazy beard.
- What about him?

00:51:14.110 --> 00:51:17.321
Cause as far as I'm concerned,
he's a no-good fink.

00:51:17.488 --> 00:51:20.825
Two weeks ago I wrote him a letter.
Never even answered me.

00:51:20.992 --> 00:51:21.951
That so?

00:51:22.118 --> 00:51:25.871
All I wanted him to do was
let Mickey out for Christmas.

00:51:26.038 --> 00:51:28.082
- Who's Mickey?
- My husband.

00:51:28.249 --> 00:51:30.793
He's in Havana, in jail.

00:51:30.960 --> 00:51:34.463
- Mixed up in that revolution?
- Mickey would do nothin' like that.

00:51:34.630 --> 00:51:38.342
He's a jockey.
They caught him dopin' a horse.

00:51:38.509 --> 00:51:40.845
Well, you can't win 'em all.

00:51:45.975 --> 00:51:49.604
<i>Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the house</i>

00:51:49.812 --> 00:51:51.856
Not a creature was stirrin'...

00:51:52.565 --> 00:51:55.693
Nothin'. No action.

00:51:56.193 --> 00:51:58.112
Dullsville.

00:51:58.279 --> 00:52:00.364
- You married?
- No.

00:52:00.531 --> 00:52:02.617
- Family?
- No.

00:52:03.367 --> 00:52:07.997
A night like this, it sort of spooks you
to walk into an empty apartment.

00:52:09.540 --> 00:52:13.711
I said I had no family. I didn't say
I had an empty apartment.

00:52:18.674 --> 00:52:21.052
Come on, Fran. Don't be that way.

00:52:21.719 --> 00:52:24.680
Are you just gonna
sit there and keep bawling?

00:52:24.847 --> 00:52:28.184
You won't talk to me?
You won't tell me what's wrong?

00:52:29.894 --> 00:52:34.899
I know you think I'm stalling you but...
when you've been married for 12 years...

00:52:35.066 --> 00:52:39.653
you just don't sit down to breakfast and
say "Pass the sugar. I want a divorce."

00:52:39.862 --> 00:52:42.406
It's not that easy.

00:52:43.657 --> 00:52:48.412
Anyway, this is the wrong time. The kids
are off school, my in-laws are visiting.

00:52:48.579 --> 00:52:50.581
I can't bring it up now.

00:52:52.416 --> 00:52:57.588
This isn't like you, Fran. You were always
such a good sport. Such fun to be with.

00:52:59.882 --> 00:53:04.261
That's me. The happy idiot.
A million laughs.

00:53:05.221 --> 00:53:09.517
Well, that's a little more like it.
At least you're speaking to me.

00:53:10.434 --> 00:53:13.854
A funny thing happened to me
at the office party today.

00:53:14.063 --> 00:53:16.524
I ran into your secretary, Miss Olsen.

00:53:17.441 --> 00:53:19.568
You know. Ring-a-ding-ding?

00:53:20.611 --> 00:53:23.447
And I laughed so much, I like to died.

00:53:23.614 --> 00:53:28.202
Is that what's been bothering you, Fran?
Miss Olsen? That's ancient history.

00:53:28.369 --> 00:53:31.455
Well, I never was very good at history.

00:53:32.123 --> 00:53:36.377
Let me see. There was Miss Olsen,
and then there was Miss Rossi.

00:53:36.544 --> 00:53:39.630
No, she came before.
Miss Koch came after Miss Olsen.

00:53:39.797 --> 00:53:42.133
- Now, Fran...
- And just think.

00:53:42.299 --> 00:53:46.137
Right now some lucky girl in the building
is gonna come after me.

00:53:46.303 --> 00:53:49.056
OK. OK, Fran. I guess I deserved that.

00:53:49.265 --> 00:53:53.310
But ask yourself: why does a man
run around with a lot of girls?

00:53:53.477 --> 00:53:57.231
Because he's unhappy at home.
Because he's lonely. That's why.

00:53:57.398 --> 00:54:00.651
But that was before you, Fran.
I've stopped running.

00:54:02.152 --> 00:54:06.282
How could I be so stupid?
You'd think I would've learned by now.

00:54:06.448 --> 00:54:10.995
When you're in love with a married man,
you shouldn't wear mascara.

00:54:11.745 --> 00:54:14.874
It's Christmas Eve, Fran.
Let's not fight, huh?

00:54:17.167 --> 00:54:19.670
- Merry Christmas.
- What is it?

00:54:25.134 --> 00:54:27.845
Oh. Our friend at the Chinese restaurant.

00:54:29.013 --> 00:54:34.351
- Thanks, Fran. We'd better keep it here.
- Yeah, we'd better.

00:54:35.144 --> 00:54:37.187
Oh, I have a present for you.

00:54:37.354 --> 00:54:41.692
I didn't know what to get you. Besides,
it's kind of awkward for me shopping, so...

00:54:41.859 --> 00:54:45.362
Here's $100. You go
and buy yourself something.

00:54:50.326 --> 00:54:53.537
They have some nice
alligator bags at Bergdorf's.

00:55:05.341 --> 00:55:09.386
I didn't realize it was so late. It's quarter
to seven. I mustn't miss my train.

00:55:09.553 --> 00:55:14.141
If we hadn't wasted all this time...
I have to get home and trim the tree.

00:55:14.683 --> 00:55:18.520
OK. I just thought,
as long as it was paid for...

00:55:18.687 --> 00:55:20.731
Don't ever talk like that, Fran.

00:55:20.898 --> 00:55:25.027
- Don't make yourself out to be cheap.
- $100? I don't call that cheap.

00:55:25.194 --> 00:55:29.239
And you must be paying somebody
something for the use of the apartment.

00:55:29.406 --> 00:55:31.533
Stop it, Fran.

00:55:32.576 --> 00:55:34.662
You'll miss your train, Jeff.

00:55:43.253 --> 00:55:44.838
Are you coming?

00:55:45.047 --> 00:55:47.591
No, you run along. I'm gonna fix my face.

00:55:47.758 --> 00:55:50.260
Don't forget to kill the lights.
See you Monday.

00:55:50.427 --> 00:55:54.014
Sure. Monday... and Thursday...

00:55:54.223 --> 00:55:57.434
and Monday again, and Thursday again.

00:55:59.395 --> 00:56:02.272
It won't always be like this, Fran.

00:56:02.314 --> 00:56:04.441
Merry Christmas.

00:58:02.809 --> 00:58:06.355
- Drink up, pop. It's closing time.
- But it's early, Charlie.

00:58:06.563 --> 00:58:10.067
- Don't you know what night this is?
- I know, Charlie. I know.

00:58:10.233 --> 00:58:12.319
I work for the outfit.

00:58:18.158 --> 00:58:20.827
Where'll we go? My place or yours?

00:58:23.455 --> 00:58:26.833
Might as well go to mine.
Everybody else does.

00:58:38.512 --> 00:58:43.850
Poor Mickey. When I think of him
all by himself in that jail in Havana...

00:58:44.017 --> 00:58:46.186
Would you like to see his picture?

00:58:46.353 --> 00:58:48.438
Not particularly.

00:58:49.815 --> 00:58:54.569
He's so cute. He's 5 foot 2, 99 pounds.

00:58:54.778 --> 00:58:56.863
Like a little Chihuahua.

00:59:09.626 --> 00:59:12.754
- Can I ask you a personal question?
- No.

00:59:12.963 --> 00:59:14.881
You got a girlfriend?

00:59:15.048 --> 00:59:17.884
She may be a girl
but she is no friend of mine.

00:59:18.051 --> 00:59:22.222
- Still stuck on her, huh?
- Obviously you don't know me very well.

00:59:22.389 --> 00:59:25.100
- I don't know you at all.
- Permit me.

00:59:25.559 --> 00:59:30.230
C. C. Baxter. Junior executive,
Arthur Murray graduate... lover.

01:00:54.522 --> 01:00:56.983
All right, Miss Kubelik. Get up.

01:00:57.776 --> 01:00:59.945
Come on. It's past checking-out time.

01:01:00.111 --> 01:01:04.491
The management would appreciate it
if you'd get the hell outta here.

01:01:07.285 --> 01:01:12.624
I used to like you. I used to like you a lot.
Well, it's all over between us, so beat it.

01:01:13.291 --> 01:01:15.335
O- U-T, out!

01:01:16.461 --> 01:01:18.588
Come on, wake up.

01:01:25.053 --> 01:01:27.055
Oh my God.

01:01:27.222 --> 01:01:29.307
Miss Kubelik?

01:01:29.975 --> 01:01:32.102
Miss Kubelik?

01:01:41.111 --> 01:01:43.238
Dr. Dreyfuss.

01:01:43.738 --> 01:01:45.824
Doc!

01:01:46.783 --> 01:01:50.787
There's a girl in my place, took
some sleeping pills. I can't wake her up.

01:01:50.954 --> 01:01:53.081
- Let me get my bag.
- Hurry up!

01:01:54.165 --> 01:01:57.836
- What's goin' on here, anyway?
- Will you please just get out?!

01:01:58.002 --> 01:01:59.504
My shoes!

01:01:59.671 --> 01:02:02.674
Some lover you are! Some sexpot!

01:02:02.841 --> 01:02:05.510
Here. Find a phone.
Call your husband in Havana.

01:02:05.677 --> 01:02:11.141
You bet I will! And when I tell him how
you treated me, he'll push your face in!

01:02:11.307 --> 01:02:13.351
You fink!

01:02:28.867 --> 01:02:30.869
Is she gonna be all right, Doc?

01:02:31.035 --> 01:02:35.039
- How many pills were in that bottle?
- It was half-full. About a dozen.

01:02:35.206 --> 01:02:38.209
- Do you have to take her to the hospital?
- Help me, will you?

01:02:38.376 --> 01:02:40.962
- Into the bathroom.
- What are you gonna do?

01:02:41.129 --> 01:02:43.882
Get that stuff out of her stomach
if it isn't too late.

01:02:44.048 --> 01:02:46.759
You'd better put some coffee on,
and pray.

01:03:39.187 --> 01:03:41.940
Wanna tell me what happened?

01:03:42.106 --> 01:03:44.817
I don't know. I mean, I wasn't even here.

01:03:47.820 --> 01:03:51.574
You see, we had... some words earlier.

01:03:51.741 --> 01:03:55.912
It was nothin' serious.
You might call it a lovers' quarrel.

01:03:57.038 --> 01:03:59.749
So you went right out
and picked yourself up another dame.

01:03:59.916 --> 01:04:04.712
- Something like that.
- You know, Baxter, you're a real cutie pie.

01:04:04.879 --> 01:04:06.422
Yes, you are.

01:04:14.597 --> 01:04:19.769
If you'd come home half an hour later,
you'd have had quite a Christmas present.

01:04:38.496 --> 01:04:40.623
Get the coffee.

01:05:04.147 --> 01:05:07.025
Let's get some air in here.
Open the windows.

01:05:22.331 --> 01:05:24.333
What's her name?

01:05:24.500 --> 01:05:27.211
Miss Kubelik. Fran.

01:05:30.548 --> 01:05:35.762
Fran, I'm a doctor. I'm here because
you took too many sleeping pills.

01:05:35.928 --> 01:05:38.139
Do you understand what I'm saying?

01:05:39.932 --> 01:05:43.352
Fran, I'm Dr. Dreyfuss.
I'm here to help you.

01:05:43.519 --> 01:05:46.481
You took all those sleeping pills.
Remember?

01:05:47.648 --> 01:05:51.277
- Sleeping pills.
- That's right, Fran. And I'm a doctor.

01:05:52.111 --> 01:05:54.989
- Doctor?
- Dr. Dreyfuss.

01:05:57.408 --> 01:05:58.993
Dreyfuss.

01:05:59.160 --> 01:06:01.204
Get more coffee.

01:06:02.121 --> 01:06:04.582
Now tell me again. What's my name?

01:06:07.793 --> 01:06:10.087
Dr... Dreyfuss.

01:06:10.254 --> 01:06:12.381
And what happened to you?

01:06:12.882 --> 01:06:14.550
I...

01:06:14.717 --> 01:06:16.844
I took sleeping pills.

01:06:17.386 --> 01:06:19.889
Do you know where you are?

01:06:21.849 --> 01:06:25.144
- No.
- Yes, you do, Fran. Now concentrate!

01:06:27.063 --> 01:06:29.106
I don't know.

01:06:29.982 --> 01:06:32.068
Do you know who that is?

01:06:38.824 --> 01:06:40.910
Look at him.

01:06:41.911 --> 01:06:44.872
Mr. Baxter. 19th floor.

01:06:45.540 --> 01:06:47.583
Hello, Miss Kubelik.

01:06:48.042 --> 01:06:50.628
Mr? Miss? Such politeness!

01:06:51.837 --> 01:06:55.925
We work in the same building.
We try to keep it quiet.

01:06:57.551 --> 01:07:00.263
What are you doing here?

01:07:01.764 --> 01:07:05.476
Don't you remember
we were together at the office party?

01:07:05.643 --> 01:07:08.020
Oh, yes. The office party.

01:07:08.187 --> 01:07:10.773
- Miss Olsen.
- That's right.

01:07:10.940 --> 01:07:13.818
I told you we had a fight.
That was what it was about.

01:07:14.026 --> 01:07:17.405
Miss Olsen. That girl
that was here earlier.

01:07:18.948 --> 01:07:21.617
I don't understand.

01:07:21.784 --> 01:07:27.039
The main thing is I got here in time and
you're gonna be all right. Isn't she, Doc?

01:07:28.082 --> 01:07:30.293
I'm so tired.

01:07:30.459 --> 01:07:32.545
Come on. Drink this.

01:07:32.878 --> 01:07:35.548
Please... just let me sleep.

01:07:35.715 --> 01:07:39.427
No, you can't sleep! Fran, open your eyes!

01:07:42.263 --> 01:07:45.558
She'll sleep on and off
for the next 24 hours.

01:07:45.725 --> 01:07:49.395
Of course, she'll have
a dandy hangover when she wakes up.

01:07:49.562 --> 01:07:51.689
Just as long as she's OK.

01:07:51.814 --> 01:07:57.236
These cases are harder on the doctor than
the patient. I oughta charge by the mile.

01:07:57.403 --> 01:08:00.531
- Any of that coffee left?
- Yeah, sure.

01:08:01.490 --> 01:08:03.909
How do you spell her last name?

01:08:04.076 --> 01:08:06.537
Kubelik. Two k's.

01:08:06.704 --> 01:08:08.748
What's her address?

01:08:09.498 --> 01:08:11.584
Where does she live?

01:08:12.501 --> 01:08:15.046
Why do you wanna know, Doc?

01:08:16.088 --> 01:08:19.216
- You don't have to report this, do you?
- It's regulations.

01:08:19.383 --> 01:08:24.305
But it was an accident. She had too much
to drink, didn't know what she was doing.

01:08:24.513 --> 01:08:26.599
There was no suicide note or anything.

01:08:26.766 --> 01:08:29.894
- I'm not thinkin' about myself.
- Aren't you?

01:08:30.061 --> 01:08:33.481
She's got a family,
and there's the people at the office.

01:08:33.689 --> 01:08:37.526
Can't you forget you're a doctor,
just say you're here as a neighbor?

01:08:37.693 --> 01:08:40.571
Well, as a doctor, I can't prove
it wasn't an accident.

01:08:40.738 --> 01:08:43.866
But as your neighbor,
I'd like to kick you around the block.

01:08:44.033 --> 01:08:46.577
- Mind if I cool this off?
- Help yourself.

01:08:46.744 --> 01:08:49.121
I don't know what you did to that girl...

01:08:49.288 --> 01:08:51.791
but it was bound to happen,
the way you carry on.

01:08:51.957 --> 01:08:54.460
Live now, pay later. Diners Club!

01:08:56.337 --> 01:08:59.298
Why don't you grow up, Baxter?
Be a mensch.

01:08:59.465 --> 01:09:01.801
- You know what that means?
- I'm not sure.

01:09:01.967 --> 01:09:04.094
A mensch! A human being!

01:09:05.012 --> 01:09:08.015
So you got off easy this time.
So you were lucky.

01:09:08.182 --> 01:09:12.895
But you're not out of the woods yet,
because most of 'em try it again.

01:09:13.896 --> 01:09:16.524
Well, you know where I am
if you need me.

01:10:28.512 --> 01:10:31.348
Mr. Baxter! Open up already.

01:10:34.560 --> 01:10:36.520
Oh.

01:10:36.687 --> 01:10:40.065
- Mrs. Lieberman.
- Who did you think it was? Kriss Kringle?

01:10:40.232 --> 01:10:42.276
What was going on here last night?

01:10:42.443 --> 01:10:45.779
- Last night?
- All that marching! Tramp, tramp, tramp!

01:10:45.988 --> 01:10:49.450
- Army maneuvers maybe?
- I'll never invite those people again.

01:10:49.700 --> 01:10:53.871
What you get from renting to bachelors.
All night I didn't sleep ten minutes.

01:10:54.038 --> 01:10:59.460
- And I'm sure you woke up Dr. Dreyfuss.
- Don't worry. He was out on a case.

01:10:59.710 --> 01:11:04.798
I'm warning you, Mr. Baxter. This is
a respectable house, not a honky-tonky.

01:11:05.007 --> 01:11:07.051
Come on, Oscar.

01:11:34.036 --> 01:11:38.624
Operator, I want White Plains,
New York. Mr. J. D. Sheldrake.

01:11:38.791 --> 01:11:40.876
Make that person-to-person.

01:11:45.631 --> 01:11:48.634
Five, four, three, two, one...

01:11:48.801 --> 01:11:51.345
Let her rip!

01:11:51.512 --> 01:11:53.097
I'll get the phone.

01:11:53.263 --> 01:11:56.183
Hey, Dad, why don't we
put a fly in the nose cone?

01:11:56.350 --> 01:11:59.228
- See if we can bring it back alive.
- That's a thought.

01:11:59.394 --> 01:12:03.440
Maybe we should put in two flies
and see if they'll propagate in orbit.

01:12:03.607 --> 01:12:07.736
- See if they'll what?
- Propagate. You know. Multiply.

01:12:07.903 --> 01:12:11.657
- Baby flies?
- Oh. Oh!

01:12:12.449 --> 01:12:14.993
- It's for you, Dad.
- Thanks, Jeff.

01:12:15.160 --> 01:12:18.330
A Mr. Baxter. Person-to-person.

01:12:18.497 --> 01:12:21.083
Come on. Help me round up some flies.

01:12:21.250 --> 01:12:26.839
- Hello? What's on your mind, Baxter?
- Something came up that's important.

01:12:27.005 --> 01:12:30.259
I think you should see me
at the apartment as soon as possible.

01:12:30.509 --> 01:12:34.179
- What's this all about?
- I didn't wanna tell you over the phone.

01:12:34.346 --> 01:12:39.434
But that certain party... You know
who I mean. I found her here last night.

01:12:39.601 --> 01:12:42.771
- She took an overdose of sleeping pills.
- What?!

01:12:44.106 --> 01:12:48.068
- What is it, Jeff? Who's on the phone?
- One of our employees had an accident.

01:12:48.235 --> 01:12:51.613
I don't know why they bother me
with these things on Christmas Day.

01:12:51.780 --> 01:12:53.574
Yes, Baxter.

01:12:53.782 --> 01:12:55.951
Just how serious is it?

01:12:56.201 --> 01:12:59.830
It was touch and go there for a while,
but she's sleeping it off now.

01:12:59.997 --> 01:13:02.874
I thought maybe you'd like to
be here when she wakes up.

01:13:04.042 --> 01:13:08.505
That's impossible. You'll have to
handle the situation yourself, Baxter.

01:13:08.672 --> 01:13:13.051
- As a matter of fact, I'm counting on you.
- Yes, sir. I understand.

01:13:13.218 --> 01:13:17.556
She left a letter. Would you like me
to open it and read it to you?

01:13:17.723 --> 01:13:20.392
Well, it was just a suggestion.

01:13:20.559 --> 01:13:24.438
No, don't worry. I kept your name
out of it, so there'll be no trouble...

01:13:24.605 --> 01:13:27.149
policewise or newspaperwise.

01:13:28.358 --> 01:13:32.696
You see, the doctor is a friend of mine,
so we were very lucky in that respect.

01:13:32.863 --> 01:13:35.365
Actually, he thinks she's my girl.

01:13:36.199 --> 01:13:38.410
No, he just jumped to the conclusion.

01:13:38.577 --> 01:13:41.371
Around here I'm known as
quite a ladies' man.

01:13:41.538 --> 01:13:45.751
Of course, we're not out of the woods yet.
Sometimes they try it again.

01:13:45.917 --> 01:13:49.755
Yes, sir. I'll do my best. It'll take her
a couple of days to fully recover...

01:13:49.921 --> 01:13:53.258
and I may have a little problem
with the landlady.

01:13:53.925 --> 01:13:57.387
OK, Mr. Sheldrake. I'll keep her
in the apartment as long as I can.

01:13:57.554 --> 01:14:01.099
Isn't there some sort of message
you want me to give her?

01:14:01.558 --> 01:14:03.769
Well, I'll... think of something.

01:14:04.311 --> 01:14:06.480
Yes, sir. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.

01:14:09.316 --> 01:14:11.443
I'm sorry.

01:14:39.763 --> 01:14:43.475
- How about some breakfast?
- No. I don't want anything.

01:14:43.642 --> 01:14:45.644
I'll fix you some coffee.

01:14:45.811 --> 01:14:50.107
Oh! We're all out of coffee.
You had quite a lot last night.

01:14:50.273 --> 01:14:52.317
Back in a minute.

01:15:01.743 --> 01:15:03.995
Mrs. Dreyfuss,
could I borrow some coffee?

01:15:04.162 --> 01:15:07.958
- And an orange and a couple of eggs?
- Eggs, he asks me for! Oranges!

01:15:08.125 --> 01:15:12.587
What you need is a good horsewhipping!
From me the doctor has no secrets.

01:15:12.754 --> 01:15:14.965
Poor girl. How could you do such a thing?

01:15:15.132 --> 01:15:18.135
I didn't do anything. Honest. It's just...

01:15:18.969 --> 01:15:24.432
You take a girl out just for laughs and
she thinks you're serious marriagewise.

01:15:24.599 --> 01:15:28.019
Big shot! For you, I wouldn't lift a finger!

01:15:28.186 --> 01:15:31.356
But for her, I'll fix a
little something to eat.

01:15:39.865 --> 01:15:41.533
Who are you calling?

01:15:41.700 --> 01:15:43.827
My sister, to tell her
what happened to me.

01:15:43.994 --> 01:15:48.999
Wait a minute! Let's talk it over first.
Just what are you gonna tell her?

01:15:49.708 --> 01:15:53.670
- I haven't figured it out exactly.
- Well, you'd better figure it out exactly.

01:15:53.837 --> 01:15:56.882
Suppose she asks you why
you didn't come home last night.

01:15:57.048 --> 01:15:58.967
I'll say I spent the night with a friend.

01:15:59.134 --> 01:16:01.136
- Who?
- Someone from the office.

01:16:01.303 --> 01:16:03.054
- Where are you now?
- In his apartment.

01:16:03.221 --> 01:16:05.557
- In his apartment?
- In her apartment.

01:16:05.724 --> 01:16:07.893
- What's your friend's name?
- Baxter.

01:16:08.059 --> 01:16:11.146
- What's her first name?
- Miss.

01:16:11.313 --> 01:16:14.065
- When are you comin' home?
- As soon as I can walk.

01:16:14.232 --> 01:16:16.234
- Your legs hurt?
- No, my stomach.

01:16:16.401 --> 01:16:19.195
- Your stomach?
- They had to pump it out!

01:16:19.362 --> 01:16:24.242
You shouldn't call anybody. Not till you
get the chewing gum out of your head.

01:16:24.409 --> 01:16:27.537
They'll be worried about me.
They might call the police.

01:16:27.704 --> 01:16:30.874
We have to be careful.
We don't wanna involve anybody.

01:16:31.041 --> 01:16:34.127
After all, Mr. Sheldrake's a married man.

01:16:34.919 --> 01:16:37.047
Thanks for reminding me!

01:16:40.759 --> 01:16:42.761
I didn't mean it that way.

01:16:42.927 --> 01:16:47.057
I was just talking to him on the phone.
He's very concerned about you.

01:16:47.223 --> 01:16:49.934
He doesn't give a damn about me.

01:16:50.101 --> 01:16:53.772
- You're wrong. He told me...
- He's a liar.

01:16:53.938 --> 01:16:56.191
But that's not the worst part.

01:16:56.358 --> 01:16:58.610
The worst part is I still love him.

01:17:02.781 --> 01:17:04.949
Oh. That must be Mrs. Dreyfuss.

01:17:05.116 --> 01:17:08.620
Remember the doctor from last night?
That's his wife.

01:17:10.288 --> 01:17:12.374
So where's the victim?

01:17:13.375 --> 01:17:15.460
Max the Knife!

01:17:18.046 --> 01:17:22.258
- Nu, little lady, how are we feeling today?
- I don't know. Kind of dizzy.

01:17:22.425 --> 01:17:27.764
The best thing for dizzy is noodle soup
with chicken white meat and a glass tea.

01:17:27.931 --> 01:17:32.310
- No, thank you. I'm really not hungry.
- Go ahead, eat. Enjoy.

01:17:32.477 --> 01:17:35.397
You wouldn't have such a thing
as a napkin, would you?

01:17:35.563 --> 01:17:38.733
- I have some paper towels.
- Beatnik.

01:17:38.900 --> 01:17:42.320
In my kitchen, third drawer,
under the good silver, are napkins.

01:17:42.487 --> 01:17:43.822
Yes, Mrs. Dreyfuss.

01:17:43.988 --> 01:17:46.616
So, what are you waiting for?
A singing commercial?

01:17:46.783 --> 01:17:48.785
- I can't eat.
- You must eat.

01:17:48.952 --> 01:17:52.038
And you must get healthy
and you must forget him.

01:17:52.247 --> 01:17:55.500
Such a fine boy he seemed
when he first moved in here.

01:17:55.667 --> 01:17:58.628
Clean and cut, a regular Ivy Leaguer.

01:17:58.795 --> 01:18:03.174
Turns out he's King Farouk,
with the drinking, with the cha-cha.

01:18:03.341 --> 01:18:05.343
With the no napkins.

01:18:05.510 --> 01:18:09.514
A girl like you, for the rest of your life
you wanna cry in your noodle soup?

01:18:09.681 --> 01:18:12.267
Who needs it? Now you listen to me.

01:18:12.433 --> 01:18:16.521
You'll find yourself a nice,
substantial man... a widower, maybe...

01:18:16.688 --> 01:18:20.358
and settle down, instead of
noshing all those sleeping pills.

01:18:20.525 --> 01:18:23.653
For what? For whom?
For some good-time Charlie?

01:18:23.820 --> 01:18:25.613
Shh.

01:18:25.864 --> 01:18:29.868
One napkin comin' up. Wish we had
some champagne to wrap it around.

01:18:30.034 --> 01:18:33.163
- What did I tell you?
- Mrs. Dreyfuss, you don't have to wait.

01:18:33.329 --> 01:18:37.208
- I'll wash the dishes.
- You'd break 'em. I'll come back for them.

01:18:37.375 --> 01:18:39.961
If he makes trouble, give me a yell.

01:18:41.212 --> 01:18:45.049
- She doesn't seem to like you very much.
- Oh, I don't mind.

01:18:45.216 --> 01:18:47.719
As a matter of fact, I'm sort of flattered.

01:18:47.886 --> 01:18:53.099
That anybody'd think a girl like you would
do a thing like this over a guy like me.

01:18:54.309 --> 01:18:57.353
Did you find something here?
An envelope?

01:18:57.520 --> 01:18:59.063
Yes. I've got it.

01:18:59.230 --> 01:19:03.568
Don't you think we'd better destroy it
so it won't fall in the wrong hands?

01:19:03.735 --> 01:19:05.820
Open it.

01:19:09.407 --> 01:19:11.993
There's nothing here but a $100 bill.

01:19:12.160 --> 01:19:15.580
That's right. Will you see
that Mr. Sheldrake gets it?

01:19:16.706 --> 01:19:18.750
Sure.

01:19:20.251 --> 01:19:22.337
Take this away, will you?

01:19:23.004 --> 01:19:25.798
Would you like me to move
the television set in here?

01:19:26.007 --> 01:19:28.718
- You play gin rummy?
- I'm not very good at it.

01:19:28.885 --> 01:19:32.847
- I am. Let me get the cards.
- You don't have to entertain me.

01:19:33.014 --> 01:19:36.726
There's nothing I'd like better.
You know. Togetherness.

01:19:36.893 --> 01:19:41.564
Guess what I did last Christmas. Had
dinner at the automat, went to the zoo...

01:19:41.731 --> 01:19:44.442
then came home and cleaned up
after Mr. Eichelberger.

01:19:44.609 --> 01:19:46.945
He had a little eggnog party here.

01:19:47.111 --> 01:19:49.405
So I'm way ahead this year.

01:19:49.572 --> 01:19:52.283
Three across. Spades double?

01:19:52.450 --> 01:19:54.494
High deals.

01:19:55.119 --> 01:19:57.246
Six? Eight.

01:20:05.213 --> 01:20:08.132
I think I'm gonna give it all up.

01:20:09.300 --> 01:20:11.135
Give what up?

01:20:14.138 --> 01:20:17.183
Why do people have to
love people, anyway?

01:20:18.559 --> 01:20:20.645
I know what you mean.

01:20:23.815 --> 01:20:25.942
Queen.

01:20:28.653 --> 01:20:31.155
- I don't want it.
- Pick a card.

01:20:35.952 --> 01:20:40.289
What do you call it when somebody keeps
gettin' smashed up in car accidents?

01:20:40.456 --> 01:20:43.793
- Bad insurance risk?
- That's me with men.

01:20:45.420 --> 01:20:50.174
I was jinxed from the word go. First time
I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.

01:20:50.341 --> 01:20:52.427
A cemetery?

01:20:52.593 --> 01:20:55.304
I was 15. We used to go there to smoke.

01:20:55.471 --> 01:20:59.642
His name was George and
he threw me over for a drum majorette.

01:21:01.018 --> 01:21:03.146
Uh, gin.

01:21:06.524 --> 01:21:11.779
That's 10, 20... 36.
And 25 makes 61 and two boxes.

01:21:11.946 --> 01:21:13.990
I have this talent for falling in love...

01:21:14.157 --> 01:21:17.660
with the wrong guy
in the wrong place at the wrong time.

01:21:18.369 --> 01:21:20.580
Well, how many guys were there?

01:21:21.706 --> 01:21:23.541
Three.

01:21:23.708 --> 01:21:27.628
The last one was the manager of a finance
company back home in Pittsburgh.

01:21:27.795 --> 01:21:29.797
They found a shortage in his accounts.

01:21:29.964 --> 01:21:33.759
He asked me to wait for him.
He'll be out in 1965.

01:21:35.219 --> 01:21:37.346
Cut.

01:21:37.972 --> 01:21:43.019
So I came to New York and moved in with
my sister and her husband, a cab driver.

01:21:43.186 --> 01:21:48.024
They sent me to secretarial school and
then I applied for a job at Consolidated.

01:21:48.191 --> 01:21:50.359
But I flunked the typing test.

01:21:50.526 --> 01:21:53.237
- Too slow?
- No. I can type up a storm.

01:21:53.404 --> 01:21:55.531
I just can't spell.

01:21:56.532 --> 01:22:01.579
So they gave me a pair of white gloves
and stuck me in an elevator.

01:22:01.746 --> 01:22:04.248
And that's how I met Jeff.

01:22:05.416 --> 01:22:08.044
Oh God, I'm so fouled up.

01:22:08.211 --> 01:22:10.671
What am I gonna do now?

01:22:12.798 --> 01:22:15.092
Better win a hand. You're on a blitz.

01:22:16.677 --> 01:22:19.513
Was he very upset when you told him?

01:22:19.680 --> 01:22:21.766
Mr. Sheldrake? Yeah, very.

01:22:23.017 --> 01:22:26.687
Maybe he does love me, only he doesn't
have the nerve to tell his wife.

01:22:26.854 --> 01:22:28.272
I'm sure that's it.

01:22:28.439 --> 01:22:31.859
- You really think so?
- No doubt about it.

01:22:33.235 --> 01:22:35.446
Would you hand me that pad and pencil?

01:22:35.613 --> 01:22:38.616
- What for?
- I'm gonna write to Mrs. Sheldrake.

01:22:38.783 --> 01:22:41.118
- You what?
- As one woman to another.

01:22:41.285 --> 01:22:45.206
- I'm sure she'll understand.
- I don't think that's a very good idea.

01:22:45.373 --> 01:22:48.751
- Why not?
- For one thing, you can't spell.

01:22:48.918 --> 01:22:53.089
Secondly, if you did something
like that, you'd hate yourself.

01:22:54.215 --> 01:22:56.926
I don't like myself very much anyway.

01:22:58.803 --> 01:23:01.222
Pick up the cards. Let's go.

01:23:01.389 --> 01:23:04.475
- Do I have to?
- You bet. I got a terrific hand.

01:23:11.232 --> 01:23:14.068
- You really wanna discard that?
- Sure.

01:23:14.235 --> 01:23:16.112
Gin.

01:23:20.408 --> 01:23:25.413
10, 20, 40, 52 and 25... 77.

01:23:26.122 --> 01:23:29.625
Spades are double... 154.

01:23:34.755 --> 01:23:36.841
Blitzed. Two games.

01:24:54.001 --> 01:24:57.338
All right, all right, Mrs. Dreyfuss.

01:25:05.179 --> 01:25:06.972
- Hi, Baxter.
- What do you want?

01:25:07.139 --> 01:25:09.141
What do I want? Just a minute.

01:25:09.308 --> 01:25:11.936
- You can't come in!
- What's the matter with you?

01:25:12.102 --> 01:25:14.146
I made a reservation for four o'clock.

01:25:14.313 --> 01:25:16.565
You can't stay.
Take your champagne and go.

01:25:16.774 --> 01:25:20.236
I don't wanna pull rank on you,
but I told the little lady it was all set.

01:25:20.444 --> 01:25:24.198
Are you gonna leave, Mr. Kirkeby,
or do I have to throw you out?

01:25:25.074 --> 01:25:27.826
Buddy-boy, why didn't you say so?

01:25:27.993 --> 01:25:31.080
- Got yourself a little playmate, huh?
- Now will you get out?

01:25:36.835 --> 01:25:40.172
Hey, come on! What are we waiting for?
Open up, will you?

01:25:40.339 --> 01:25:42.383
Mildred!

01:25:43.968 --> 01:25:48.389
- What's holding things up?
- Say, let's have a party, the four of us.

01:25:48.555 --> 01:25:50.641
No!

01:25:54.812 --> 01:25:57.064
Well, I don't blame you.

01:25:57.231 --> 01:25:58.399
So you hit the jackpot, eh, kid?
I mean Kubelikwise.

01:25:58.649 --> 01:26:00.693
Who was that?

01:26:01.360 --> 01:26:04.947
Just somebody delivering
a bottle of champagne. Like some?

01:26:05.781 --> 01:26:08.492
Would you mind opening that window?

01:26:11.203 --> 01:26:16.542
- Now don't get any ideas, Miss Kubelik.
- I just want some fresh air.

01:26:16.709 --> 01:26:20.045
It's only one storey down.
The best you could do is break a leg.

01:26:20.212 --> 01:26:22.798
So they'll shoot me, like a horse.

01:26:23.215 --> 01:26:26.552
Please, you gotta promise me
you won't do anything foolish.

01:26:26.719 --> 01:26:29.221
- Who'd care?
- I would.

01:26:34.977 --> 01:26:38.772
Why can't I ever fall in love
with somebody nice like you?

01:26:39.815 --> 01:26:41.900
Yeah. Well...

01:26:42.526 --> 01:26:45.529
That's the way it crumbles, cookiewise.

01:26:46.864 --> 01:26:49.199
Go to sleep.

01:27:23.442 --> 01:27:28.280
- Good morning, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Miss Olsen, come into my office, please.

01:27:37.623 --> 01:27:41.585
- Did you have a nice Christmas?
- Lovely. You were a great help!

01:27:41.752 --> 01:27:44.379
Your pep talk to Miss Kubelik
at the office party.

01:27:44.546 --> 01:27:49.134
- Sorry, Jeff. I never could hold my liquor.
- I thought you could hold your tongue.

01:27:49.301 --> 01:27:51.803
- It won't happen again.
- You bet it won't.

01:27:51.970 --> 01:27:54.890
I'll arrange for you to get
a month's severance pay.

01:27:55.057 --> 01:27:58.101
That's right, Miss Olsen.
I'm letting you go.

01:27:58.810 --> 01:28:01.313
You let me go four years ago, Jeff.

01:28:01.480 --> 01:28:05.901
And were cruel enough to make me sit out
there and watch the new models pass by.

01:28:06.068 --> 01:28:09.154
I'd appreciate it if you'd be
out of here as soon as you can.

01:28:09.321 --> 01:28:11.448
Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.

01:28:20.165 --> 01:28:24.336
Operator, this is Mr. Sheldrake. I'd like
Mr. Baxter's home telephone number.

01:28:24.503 --> 01:28:27.339
He's in Ordinary Premium Accounting.

01:28:43.689 --> 01:28:47.150
- Hello?
- Hello. Jeff Sheldrake. Can you talk?

01:28:48.026 --> 01:28:49.861
Yes. She's in the shower.

01:28:50.028 --> 01:28:52.698
- She's coming along fine, considering.
- Good.

01:28:52.864 --> 01:28:56.451
- Is there anything you need? Money?
- No, thank you, Mr. Sheldrake.

01:28:56.618 --> 01:28:59.746
As a matter of fact, I have
some money for you. $100.

01:28:59.955 --> 01:29:01.290
Oh.

01:29:01.456 --> 01:29:05.252
- If there's anything I can do for you...
- For me? I don't think so.

01:29:05.419 --> 01:29:08.046
But I was hoping maybe
you could do something for her.

01:29:08.463 --> 01:29:11.800
Like what? Put yourself
in my place, Baxter.

01:29:11.967 --> 01:29:14.052
How can I help her? My hands are tied.

01:29:15.470 --> 01:29:17.973
Well... at least you can talk to her.

01:29:19.057 --> 01:29:22.686
Let me put her on. And please, be gentle.

01:29:23.353 --> 01:29:25.814
There's a call for you!

01:29:25.981 --> 01:29:28.483
- For me?
- Yeah. Mr. Sheldrake.

01:29:30.402 --> 01:29:32.404
I don't wanna talk to him.

01:29:32.571 --> 01:29:34.489
I think you should.

01:29:34.656 --> 01:29:40.037
I gotta run down to the grocery anyway.
There's nothing left here but frozen pizza.

01:29:40.829 --> 01:29:42.914
I'll be right back. OK?

01:30:03.351 --> 01:30:05.437
Hello, Jeff.

01:30:06.855 --> 01:30:09.983
- Yes, I'm all right.
- Why did you do it, Fran?

01:30:10.192 --> 01:30:12.611
It's so childish,
and it never solves anything.

01:30:12.778 --> 01:30:15.447
I oughta be very angry with you,
scaring me that way.

01:30:15.614 --> 01:30:20.327
But let's forget the whole thing, pretend
it never happened. What do you say?

01:30:20.494 --> 01:30:22.412
Fran?

01:30:23.038 --> 01:30:25.624
Are you there, Fran?

01:30:27.042 --> 01:30:31.505
Of course I'm not here, because
the whole thing never happened.

01:30:31.671 --> 01:30:35.509
I never took those pills,
I never loved you...

01:30:35.675 --> 01:30:37.969
we never even met.

01:30:39.137 --> 01:30:43.141
- Isn't that the way you want it, Jeff?
- You know I didn't mean it that way.

01:30:43.308 --> 01:30:46.061
You just get well.
Do what the nurse says. I mean Baxter.

01:30:46.228 --> 01:30:49.356
I'll see you as soon as I can.
Goodbye, Fran.

01:31:07.666 --> 01:31:10.210
Hello, Mrs. Sheldrake. This is Miss Olsen.

01:31:10.418 --> 01:31:14.589
Fine, thank you. I was wondering
if we could have lunch together.

01:31:15.423 --> 01:31:19.094
I don't know how important it is,
but you might find it educational.

01:31:19.261 --> 01:31:21.930
It concerns your husband.

01:31:22.097 --> 01:31:25.850
All right. One o'clock,
Longchamps, Madison and 59th.

01:31:32.107 --> 01:31:34.359
Don't worry. I'm on my way.

01:31:34.526 --> 01:31:36.570
Just making a personal call.

01:31:38.280 --> 01:31:40.323
Here's a dime.

01:31:43.118 --> 01:31:44.703
Going down.

01:31:57.048 --> 01:31:59.593
Oh, Mr. Baxter! I'm glad you're here.

01:31:59.759 --> 01:32:02.387
- I was just going to get the passkey.
- What for?

01:32:02.554 --> 01:32:05.307
I thought I smelled gas
coming from your apartment.

01:32:05.473 --> 01:32:07.559
Gas?!

01:32:16.609 --> 01:32:18.737
Miss Kubelik?

01:32:20.572 --> 01:32:22.615
Miss Kubelik!

01:32:25.327 --> 01:32:27.412
- You all right?
- Sure!

01:32:28.246 --> 01:32:31.416
- What's that funny smell?
- Gas! Didn't you turn it on?

01:32:31.583 --> 01:32:34.502
Yes, to boil water to get
the coffee stains out of my dress.

01:32:34.669 --> 01:32:38.089
- You turned it on but you didn't light it.
- Are you supposed to?

01:32:38.256 --> 01:32:42.010
In this house you're supposed to.
Hey, what are you doing with that?

01:32:42.177 --> 01:32:45.597
I was washing my stockings,
so I thought I'd wash your socks too.

01:32:45.764 --> 01:32:49.893
- Oh. Thank you.
- Very curious. I could only find 3½ pair.

01:32:50.060 --> 01:32:52.479
Things are a little disorganized
around here.

01:32:52.729 --> 01:32:56.524
I'd say. What's a tennis racket
doing in the kitchen?

01:32:56.691 --> 01:33:01.613
Tennis racket? Oh, I remember.
I was cooking myself an Italian dinner.

01:33:01.780 --> 01:33:04.449
I used it to strain the spaghetti.

01:33:04.616 --> 01:33:07.160
- Why not?
- In fact, I'm a pretty good cook.

01:33:07.368 --> 01:33:10.121
- Only I'm a lousy housekeeper.
- Yes, you are.

01:33:10.288 --> 01:33:14.626
When I was straightening up the couch,
I found six hairpins, a lipstick...

01:33:14.793 --> 01:33:18.463
a pair of false eyelashes and
a swizzle stick from the Stork Club.

01:33:18.630 --> 01:33:21.883
It's just that I'm the kind of guy
who can't say no.

01:33:22.050 --> 01:33:26.137
- I don't mean to girls. I mean...
- To someone like Mr. Sheldrake.

01:33:26.304 --> 01:33:29.390
- I guess so.
- I know so.

01:33:31.059 --> 01:33:33.561
- He's a taker.
- What?

01:33:34.145 --> 01:33:36.314
Some people take, some people get took.

01:33:36.481 --> 01:33:40.485
And they know they're gettin' took
and there's nothin' they can do about it.

01:33:40.652 --> 01:33:42.737
I wouldn't say that.

01:33:43.488 --> 01:33:45.490
What would you like for dinner, huh?

01:33:45.657 --> 01:33:48.827
Hey. Onion soup, and canned asparagus...

01:33:48.993 --> 01:33:50.870
I really should be getting home.

01:33:51.120 --> 01:33:54.082
- My family'll be flipping by now.
- You can't leave yet.

01:33:54.249 --> 01:33:58.670
The doctor said it takes 48 hours
to get that stuff out of your system.

01:33:59.712 --> 01:34:03.967
How long does it take to get someone
you're stuck on out of your system?

01:34:04.133 --> 01:34:07.053
If only they'd invent
some kind of pump for that.

01:34:07.262 --> 01:34:12.851
I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think
it's the end of the world. But it's not.

01:34:13.017 --> 01:34:15.520
I went through exactly
the same thing myself.

01:34:15.687 --> 01:34:17.605
- You did?
- Well, not exactly the same.

01:34:17.772 --> 01:34:19.524
I tried to do it with a gun.

01:34:19.691 --> 01:34:22.735
- Over a girl?
- Worse. It was the wife of my best friend.

01:34:22.902 --> 01:34:27.907
And I was mad about her. But I knew
it was hopeless and I decided to end it all.

01:34:28.074 --> 01:34:32.203
I went to a pawnshop and I bought a.45
automatic and I drove up to Eden Park...

01:34:32.370 --> 01:34:34.414
- Do you know Cincinnati?
- No, I don't.

01:34:34.622 --> 01:34:37.208
Anyway, I parked the car
and I loaded that gun...

01:34:37.375 --> 01:34:41.713
You read in the papers that people shoot
themselves. Believe me, it's not that easy.

01:34:41.880 --> 01:34:45.550
I mean, how do you do it?
Here? Here? Here?

01:34:46.884 --> 01:34:49.554
- Know where I finally shot myself?
- Where?

01:34:49.721 --> 01:34:51.556
- Here.
- In the knee?!

01:34:51.723 --> 01:34:54.225
Yeah! I was sittin' there, tryin' to decide.

01:34:54.392 --> 01:34:56.728
A cop came up because
I was illegally parked.

01:34:56.894 --> 01:35:00.231
I tried to hide the gun
under the seat and it went off.

01:35:00.398 --> 01:35:04.027
- That's terrible!
- It was a year till I could bend the knee.

01:35:04.193 --> 01:35:07.363
But I got over the girl in three weeks.

01:35:08.906 --> 01:35:12.619
Still lives in Cincinnati.
Has four kids and gained 20 pounds.

01:35:12.785 --> 01:35:15.163
Sends me a fruitcake every Christmas.

01:35:15.330 --> 01:35:17.749
Are you just making this up
to make me feel better?

01:35:17.915 --> 01:35:19.917
Of course not! Here's the fruitcake.

01:35:20.084 --> 01:35:22.253
- Do you wanna see my knee?
- No, thank you.

01:35:22.420 --> 01:35:25.673
The fellas in the office might
get the wrong idea how I found out.

01:35:25.840 --> 01:35:29.927
Let 'em! Look, I'm gonna cook dinner
for us. We'll have fruitcake for dessert.

01:35:30.094 --> 01:35:33.306
You just sit there and rest.
You've done enough for today.

01:35:33.514 --> 01:35:36.768
Yes, Nurse.

01:35:50.865 --> 01:35:54.118
- Can I help you?
- I'm lookin' for Miss Kubelik.

01:35:54.285 --> 01:35:59.457
- So am I. She didn't report this morning.
- She didn't? Who's in charge here?

01:35:59.624 --> 01:36:03.920
That comes under General Office
Administration. Mr. Dobisch, 21st floor.

01:36:04.087 --> 01:36:05.880
Thanks.

01:36:29.946 --> 01:36:33.783
- Are we dressing for dinner?
- No. Just come as you are.

01:36:33.950 --> 01:36:38.121
- You're pretty good with that racket.
- You should see my backhand.

01:36:40.123 --> 01:36:43.084
Wait till you see me serve the meatballs.

01:36:43.292 --> 01:36:47.296
- Shall I light the candles?
- It's a must, gracious livingwise.

01:36:50.550 --> 01:36:51.926
<i>♪ Meatball</i>

01:36:55.721 --> 01:36:57.265
<i>♪ Meatball</i>

01:37:06.399 --> 01:37:09.402
- You bought some napkins.
- Might as well go all the way.

01:37:12.822 --> 01:37:15.199
You know, I used to live
like Robinson Crusoe.

01:37:15.366 --> 01:37:17.577
Shipwrecked, among eight million people.

01:37:17.743 --> 01:37:20.913
And then one day I saw
a footprint in the sand...

01:37:21.080 --> 01:37:23.124
and there you were.

01:37:24.000 --> 01:37:26.252
It's a wonderful thing, dinner for two.

01:37:26.419 --> 01:37:30.256
- Do you usually eat alone?
- No. Sometimes I eat with Ed Sullivan.

01:37:30.423 --> 01:37:33.175
Or sometimes Dinah Shore or Perry Como.

01:37:33.342 --> 01:37:37.305
The other night it was Mae West.
She was much younger then. Cheers.

01:37:37.513 --> 01:37:40.308
- Cheers.
- Know what we're gonna do after dinner?

01:37:40.516 --> 01:37:42.518
- The dishes.
- I mean after that.

01:37:42.685 --> 01:37:44.937
- What?
- You don't have to if you don't want to.

01:37:45.104 --> 01:37:47.481
- Oh, I don't?
- We're gonna finish the gin game.

01:37:47.690 --> 01:37:50.359
So keep a clear head.

01:37:51.152 --> 01:37:55.156
Cause I don't wanna take advantage of
you, the way I did yesterday in bed.

01:37:55.364 --> 01:37:57.491
- Baxter?
- Yes.

01:38:06.626 --> 01:38:09.295
What's with you, Fran?
Did you forget where you live?

01:38:09.462 --> 01:38:13.132
- My brother-in-law, Karl Matuschka.
- Oh! How do you do, Mr. Matusch...

01:38:13.299 --> 01:38:17.637
- Get dressed. I got the cab downstairs.
- Wait. I know what you're thinking, but...

01:38:17.803 --> 01:38:20.556
It's none of my business
what you do. You're over 21.

01:38:20.723 --> 01:38:24.310
- But your sister thinks you're a lady.
- All we were gonna do was eat!

01:38:24.477 --> 01:38:26.937
If there wasn't a lady present,
I'd clobber you.

01:38:27.104 --> 01:38:30.024
All right, Karl! I'll get dressed.

01:38:39.200 --> 01:38:41.118
Want a martini?

01:38:45.247 --> 01:38:49.001
How about some spaghetti
with meat sauce that I cooked myself?

01:38:54.674 --> 01:38:57.301
Your sister-in-law sure is terrific.

01:39:00.680 --> 01:39:05.184
It must be murder drivin' a cab
in New York with the cross-town traffic.

01:39:09.688 --> 01:39:11.690
Hi, Baxter. How's the patient?

01:39:11.857 --> 01:39:13.859
Oh, uh... I'm fine, Doc.

01:39:14.026 --> 01:39:16.070
Not you. Miss Kubelik.

01:39:16.779 --> 01:39:21.700
- What's the matter with Miss Kubelik?
- This is Mr. Matuschka. He's... got a cab.

01:39:21.867 --> 01:39:24.286
- Fran been sick?
- No. Just a little accident.

01:39:24.453 --> 01:39:28.374
- What does he mean, accident?
- Well... these things happen all the time.

01:39:28.541 --> 01:39:30.668
What things? What kind
of a doctor are you?

01:39:30.835 --> 01:39:34.004
Not that kind! He just gave her
a shot, pumped out her stomach.

01:39:34.171 --> 01:39:37.383
- What for?
- I took sleeping pills. But I'm fine now.

01:39:37.550 --> 01:39:40.052
- Why'd you take sleeping pills?
- On account of me.

01:39:40.219 --> 01:39:42.221
You?

01:39:42.388 --> 01:39:44.223
Who else?

01:39:49.061 --> 01:39:51.147
Leave him alone!

01:39:53.482 --> 01:39:56.652
Oh, you fool. You damn fool.

01:39:58.904 --> 01:40:02.074
- Come on, Fran.
- Goodbye, Mr. Baxter.

01:40:03.701 --> 01:40:05.828
Goodbye, Doctor.

01:40:07.663 --> 01:40:12.501
Well, I don't wanna gloat, but
just between us, you had it coming to you.

01:40:14.712 --> 01:40:17.590
You're gonna have a shiner tomorrow.

01:40:17.756 --> 01:40:19.466
Let me get my bag.

01:40:21.719 --> 01:40:23.721
Don't bother, Doc.

01:40:23.888 --> 01:40:25.973
It doesn't hurt a bit.

01:40:42.489 --> 01:40:44.783
Mr. Sheldrake's office? This is C. C. Baxter.

01:40:44.950 --> 01:40:48.162
Please tell him I'd like to
come up and see him. It's important.

01:40:48.370 --> 01:40:50.456
Will you call me back, please?

01:40:53.208 --> 01:40:56.295
Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.

01:40:57.463 --> 01:40:59.506
All your troubles are over.

01:41:00.674 --> 01:41:03.552
I'm gonna take Miss Kubelik
off your hands.

01:41:04.386 --> 01:41:06.847
The plain fact is, I love her.

01:41:07.723 --> 01:41:10.309
I thought you should be the first to know.

01:41:10.476 --> 01:41:13.312
After all, you don't really
want her, and I do.

01:41:13.479 --> 01:41:17.566
And though it may sound presumptuous,
she needs somebody like me.

01:41:17.733 --> 01:41:21.153
So I think it would be best all around.

01:41:21.320 --> 01:41:22.738
Solutionwise.

01:41:22.905 --> 01:41:24.156
Yes?

01:41:24.323 --> 01:41:26.450
I'll be right up.

01:41:26.617 --> 01:41:29.995
Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.

01:41:30.162 --> 01:41:32.206
All your troubles are over.

01:41:36.502 --> 01:41:38.671
19.

01:41:38.837 --> 01:41:42.508
- Hi, Buddy-boy. What happened to you?
- Hit by a swinging door?

01:41:42.675 --> 01:41:45.552
- Or a yellow cab?
- That guy really must've belted him.

01:41:45.719 --> 01:41:48.806
Yeah. He's punchy. Talking to himself.

01:41:48.931 --> 01:41:50.516
27.

01:41:50.683 --> 01:41:53.102
Those two days
she spent in the apartment...

01:41:53.268 --> 01:41:56.230
made me realize
how lonely I'd been before.

01:41:56.438 --> 01:41:59.900
But, thanks to you, I'm
in a financial position to marry her.

01:42:00.109 --> 01:42:03.070
If I can ever square things with her family.

01:42:03.278 --> 01:42:05.531
Good morning. C. C. Baxter.

01:42:09.618 --> 01:42:11.704
- 'Mr. Baxter is here.'
- Send him in.

01:42:13.914 --> 01:42:16.792
Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.

01:42:16.959 --> 01:42:19.044
And I've got good news for you, Baxter.

01:42:19.211 --> 01:42:21.380
- All your troubles are over.
- Sir?

01:42:21.880 --> 01:42:25.050
I know how worried you were
about Miss Kubelik. Stop worrying.

01:42:25.217 --> 01:42:28.053
I'm going to take her off your hands.

01:42:28.220 --> 01:42:31.056
- You're gonna take her off my hands?
- That's right.

01:42:31.223 --> 01:42:33.725
I've moved out of the house.

01:42:34.643 --> 01:42:37.604
I'm gonna be staying in town,
at the Athletic Club.

01:42:37.771 --> 01:42:40.732
- You left your wife.
- If you must know, I fired my secretary.

01:42:40.899 --> 01:42:45.696
My secretary got to my wife, and my wife
fired me. Ain't that a kick in the head?

01:42:45.863 --> 01:42:47.406
Yeah.

01:42:47.573 --> 01:42:49.324
Now what's your news, Baxter?

01:42:51.618 --> 01:42:55.247
It's about Miss Kubelik. She's feeling
all right again so she went home.

01:42:55.372 --> 01:42:58.584
Swell. And don't think
I've forgotten what you did for me.

01:42:58.750 --> 01:43:00.794
This way, Baxter.

01:43:04.047 --> 01:43:06.467
Sit down. Try it on for size.

01:43:07.509 --> 01:43:09.970
- You like? It's all yours.
- Mine?

01:43:10.179 --> 01:43:15.309
My assistant has been shifted to the
Denver office and you're taking his place.

01:43:15.517 --> 01:43:17.895
What's the matter?
You don't seem very excited.

01:43:18.061 --> 01:43:22.316
Well, it's just that so many things
have been happening so fast.

01:43:22.524 --> 01:43:25.194
I'm very pleased.
Especially for Miss Kubelik.

01:43:25.360 --> 01:43:30.324
I think she's the kind of girl that
definitely ought to be married to... someone.

01:43:30.532 --> 01:43:35.996
Sure, sure. But first the property has to be
settled. Then it takes six weeks in Reno.

01:43:36.205 --> 01:43:38.999
Meanwhile I'm going to enjoy
being a bachelor for a while.

01:43:39.208 --> 01:43:42.586
Oh, Baxter, you now can have lunch
in the executive dining room.

01:43:42.753 --> 01:43:45.380
That's one of the privileges
that goes with this job.

01:43:45.547 --> 01:43:50.135
You also get a nice little expense account,
use of the executive washroom...

01:43:50.302 --> 01:43:52.679
Say, what happened to you, Baxter?

01:43:52.846 --> 01:43:55.599
- I got kicked in the head too.
- Oh?

01:44:16.703 --> 01:44:18.747
Good evening, Mr. Baxter.

01:44:18.914 --> 01:44:20.374
Oh.

01:44:20.582 --> 01:44:23.293
Miss Kubelik. How are you feeling?

01:44:23.460 --> 01:44:26.129
- I feel fine. How's your eye?
- Oh, fine.

01:44:26.296 --> 01:44:29.091
- How are things at the apartment?
- Nothing's changed.

01:44:29.257 --> 01:44:32.260
- We never did finish that gin game.
- I know.

01:44:33.929 --> 01:44:36.264
I suppose you heard about Mr. Sheldrake.

01:44:36.431 --> 01:44:38.976
Leaving his wife? Yeah.
I'm very happy for you.

01:44:39.142 --> 01:44:41.728
- I never thought he'd do it.
- I told you all along.

01:44:41.895 --> 01:44:45.357
- You were wrong about Mr. Sheldrake.
- I guess so.

01:44:45.524 --> 01:44:47.526
You were wrong about me too.

01:44:47.693 --> 01:44:50.821
What you said about those who take
and those who get took.

01:44:50.988 --> 01:44:54.157
Mr. Sheldrake wasn't using me.
I was using him. See?

01:44:54.324 --> 01:44:58.787
Last month I was at desk 861 on
the 19th floor. Now I'm on the 27th floor.

01:44:58.954 --> 01:45:00.956
A paneled office, three windows.

01:45:01.123 --> 01:45:04.126
So it all worked out fine.
We're both getting what we wanted.

01:45:04.292 --> 01:45:07.170
Yes. Will you walk me to the subway?

01:45:07.337 --> 01:45:13.093
No, thank you. Well, I... To tell you the
truth, I have this heavy date for tonight.

01:45:16.513 --> 01:45:19.850
- Aren't you meeting Mr. Sheldrake?
- No. You know how people talk.

01:45:20.016 --> 01:45:25.272
I decided it was best not to see each other
until everything was settled, divorcewise.

01:45:25.480 --> 01:45:27.524
That's very wise.

01:45:28.650 --> 01:45:31.111
- Good night, Mr. Baxter.
- Good night.

01:46:07.105 --> 01:46:10.484
- Baxter, could you step in here a minute?
- Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.

01:46:10.692 --> 01:46:12.694
- There you are.
- Much obliged.

01:46:14.529 --> 01:46:20.327
Here are the figures on staff turnover. 37%
of females leave to get married and 22%...

01:46:20.535 --> 01:46:23.413
Baxter, you work too hard.
It's New Year's Eve. Relax!

01:46:23.580 --> 01:46:26.541
- Yes, sir.
- I suppose you'll be celebrating tonight.

01:46:26.708 --> 01:46:28.919
- Naturally.
- I'm taking Miss Kubelik out.

01:46:29.044 --> 01:46:31.046
- I finally talked her into it.
- I see.

01:46:31.213 --> 01:46:35.550
The only thing is, I'm staying at the
Athletic Club and it's strictly stag, so...

01:46:35.717 --> 01:46:37.886
If you don't mind?

01:46:38.720 --> 01:46:42.182
- Don't mind what?
- You know my key to your apartment?

01:46:42.390 --> 01:46:45.519
When we had that little scare
about Miss Kubelik...

01:46:45.727 --> 01:46:49.731
- ...I threw it out the window of the train.
- Very clever.

01:46:49.856 --> 01:46:52.150
So now I'll have to borrow your key.

01:46:53.652 --> 01:46:56.446
- Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
- What do you mean, sorry?

01:46:56.613 --> 01:46:58.990
You're not bringing anybody
to my apartment.

01:46:59.157 --> 01:47:03.495
- It's not just anybody. It's Miss Kubelik.
- Especially not Miss Kubelik.

01:47:03.662 --> 01:47:06.873
- How's that again?
- No key.

01:47:08.750 --> 01:47:13.338
Baxter, I picked you for my team because
I thought you were a bright young man.

01:47:13.505 --> 01:47:16.925
Do you realize what you're doing?
Not to me, but to yourself?

01:47:17.092 --> 01:47:20.428
Normally it takes years
to work your way up to the 27th floor.

01:47:20.595 --> 01:47:23.598
But it only takes 30 seconds
to be out on the street again.

01:47:23.765 --> 01:47:26.393
- You dig?
- I dig.

01:47:27.519 --> 01:47:29.604
So what's it going to be?

01:47:36.361 --> 01:47:39.489
- Now you're being bright.
- Thank you, sir.

01:47:56.881 --> 01:47:59.551
- Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
- No, I didn't.

01:47:59.718 --> 01:48:02.345
But this is the key
to the executive washroom.

01:48:02.512 --> 01:48:06.266
That's right. I won't be needing it
because I'm all washed up around here.

01:48:06.474 --> 01:48:09.811
- What's gotten into you?
- Just following doctor's orders.

01:48:09.978 --> 01:48:14.190
I've decided to become a mensch.
Know what that means? A human being.

01:48:14.357 --> 01:48:18.278
- Now hold on, Baxter.
- The old payola won't work any more.

01:48:18.486 --> 01:48:20.530
Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.

01:48:56.107 --> 01:49:00.028
- We're having a party and ran out of ice.
- Sure, Doc.

01:49:00.195 --> 01:49:02.280
How come you're alone
on New Year's Eve?

01:49:02.447 --> 01:49:04.365
Well, I got things to do.

01:49:04.532 --> 01:49:08.703
- What's this? You're packing?
- Yeah. I'm giving up the apartment.

01:49:08.870 --> 01:49:10.705
Where are you moving to?

01:49:10.872 --> 01:49:13.875
I don't know. All I know is
I gotta get outta this place.

01:49:14.042 --> 01:49:16.044
Sorry to lose you, Baxter.

01:49:16.211 --> 01:49:20.924
Me? Oh, my body. Don't worry, it'll go to
the university, Doc. I'll put it in writing.

01:49:21.090 --> 01:49:24.260
- Could you use some champagne?
- Booze we don't need.

01:49:24.427 --> 01:49:26.221
Say, why don't you join us?

01:49:26.387 --> 01:49:31.351
We got two brain surgeons, a proctologist
and three nurses from Bellevue.

01:49:31.559 --> 01:49:33.436
No, thanks. I don't feel like it.

01:49:33.603 --> 01:49:37.815
In case I don't see you again, how much
do I owe you for taking care of that girl?

01:49:37.982 --> 01:49:41.819
Forget it. I didn't do it as a doctor.
I did it as a neighbor.

01:49:41.986 --> 01:49:44.697
By the way, whatever happened to her?

01:49:45.949 --> 01:49:48.910
You know me with girls.
Easy come, easy go.

01:49:49.077 --> 01:49:51.788
- Goodbye, Doc.
- Happy New Year.

01:50:27.532 --> 01:50:29.909
Sorry I took so long
on the phone. We're all set.

01:50:30.118 --> 01:50:32.495
- For what?
- I rented a car. It'll be here at one.

01:50:32.662 --> 01:50:35.498
- We're driving to Atlantic City.
- Atlantic City?

01:50:35.665 --> 01:50:40.253
I know it's a drag, but you can't find
a hotel room in town on New Year's Eve.

01:50:41.296 --> 01:50:44.090
Ring out the old year, ring in the new.

01:50:44.299 --> 01:50:46.342
Ring-a-ding-ding.

01:50:46.968 --> 01:50:50.305
I didn't plan it this way.
It's Baxter's fault.

01:50:50.471 --> 01:50:51.431
Baxter?

01:50:51.597 --> 01:50:55.101
He wouldn't give me
the key to the apartment.

01:50:55.310 --> 01:50:57.812
- He wouldn't?
- No. He just walked out on me. Quit.

01:50:57.979 --> 01:51:01.065
Threw that big, fat job right in my face.

01:51:02.442 --> 01:51:06.487
- The nerve.
- The little punk. After all I did for him.

01:51:06.654 --> 01:51:10.950
Said I couldn't bring anybody to the
apartment, especially not Miss Kubelik.

01:51:11.159 --> 01:51:13.911
What's he got against you, anyway?

01:51:14.078 --> 01:51:20.001
I don't know. I guess that's the way
it crumbles, cookiewise.

01:51:22.003 --> 01:51:24.464
What are you talking about?

01:51:25.465 --> 01:51:28.760
I'd spell it out for you, only I can't spell.

01:51:32.597 --> 01:51:37.727
<i>♪ For auld lang syne, my dear</i>

01:51:37.894 --> 01:51:42.857
<i>♪ For auld lang syne</i>

01:51:43.066 --> 01:51:48.112
<i>♪ We'll drink a cup of kindness yet</i>

01:51:48.237 --> 01:51:50.031
Mr. Baxter!

01:51:50.281 --> 01:51:51.365
Mr. Baxter!

01:51:51.824 --> 01:51:54.869
Mr. Baxter! Mr. Baxter!

01:51:57.830 --> 01:51:59.123
Oh!

01:51:59.290 --> 01:52:02.376
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine.

01:52:02.543 --> 01:52:05.046
Are you sure? How's your knee?

01:52:05.797 --> 01:52:07.840
I'm fine all over.

01:52:09.842 --> 01:52:13.179
- Mind if I come in?
- Of course not.

01:52:17.016 --> 01:52:19.101
Let me get another glass.

01:52:22.021 --> 01:52:24.106
- Where are you going?
- Who knows?

01:52:24.273 --> 01:52:27.568
Another neighborhood,
another town, another job.

01:52:27.735 --> 01:52:30.029
I'm on my own.

01:52:30.196 --> 01:52:32.281
That's funny. So am I.

01:52:33.449 --> 01:52:35.701
What'd you do with the cards?

01:52:35.868 --> 01:52:37.954
In there.

01:52:49.257 --> 01:52:51.259
What about Mr. Sheldrake?

01:52:51.425 --> 01:52:54.554
I'm gonna send him
a fruitcake every Christmas.

01:52:57.014 --> 01:52:59.058
Cut.

01:53:00.685 --> 01:53:02.770
I love you, Miss Kubelik.

01:53:03.271 --> 01:53:05.064
Three.

01:53:05.231 --> 01:53:06.399
Queen.

01:53:06.566 --> 01:53:10.611
Did you hear what I said, Miss Kubelik?
I absolutely adore you.

01:53:13.239 --> 01:53:15.324
Shut up and deal.